Something about that conversation left me feeling a bit agitated, though. It put this lens in front of my eyes, showing me how many old friends I’ve failed to remain in touch with. Moreover, it made me reflect on how I perceive friendships and how much friendships rely on the convenience of access.

Therefore, in this issue, I will take a moment to discuss friendships of inconvenience and their significance in my life.

What Do I Mean When I Say This Phrase?

ChatGPT defines “friends of convenience” as people you spend time with mainly because it’s easy, situational, or mutually beneficial, not necessarily because of a deep emotional bond. I define friends of inconvenience to be the opposite.

As per my perspective, friends of inconvenience are the people whom I’d go out of my way for to retain the friendship because the bond is worth more than any trouble and effort. These friendships don’t ask for spots on the “calendar” because, honestly, when the time comes, you’d rather rip up the calendar for them.

Such friendships transcend place, time, mistakes, misunderstandings, disagreements, and so much more because they deserve hard work, patience, and care, and they matter more than your ego. You wouldn’t think of the phrase “high-maintenance” for these people, even when they are, because the relationship is worth the effort.

Why Keep A Friendship So Inconvenient?

Let’s be honest, for most of us, keeping up with these friendships sounds quite cumbersome, doesn’t it? Think for a minute, when was the last time you went really out of your way to sustain a relationship with someone (not your blood), put in the time and effort, even made some sacrifices, and they reciprocated equally? I’d bet most of us don’t have even a few such names in our address book.

You see, on the surface, the phrase friendship of inconvenience is an oxymoron. A friendship should not be inconvenient, difficult, or uncomfortable. And yet, the ones that are are so much more important. There are very few reasons to really sacrifice for someone. Even fewer people warrant it again and again. And then there come these special people who share parts of your past (hopefully, your present, too) and shape who you are, through their actions and support.

To have a friendship where you’d both fight for each other again and again isn’t inconvenient. It is truly blissful. I feel proud and grateful to have a few such friends in my life today.

Is There A Point When You Need To Let Go?

Sometimes, you will think you have a friendship that will go the distance. You invest in it accordingly. And then one day, the effort stops feeling mutual, and the care starts feeling one-sided. Sometimes, despite the history you share, the relationship no longer feels rooted in respect, warmth, or understanding.

Even with such friendships, there is a difference between inconvenience and imbalance. A friendship can demand effort without demanding self-erasure. When you are constantly adjusting, apologising, or compromising just to keep the connection alive, it may be worth asking who the friendship is really serving.

It sounds weird to talk about letting go of friendships in the same article as one that talks about sustaining them. But we all need to be honest with ourselves. Some bonds are meant to shape you for a season, not accompany you through every one.

Letting go does not mean the friendship was a mistake. It simply means that the version of the relationship that once existed may no longer fit the people you have both become. In fact, as toxically positive as this sounds, the ones you let go set the bar for the ones you keep. And it is a bar you should hold high.

Holding On Along The Way

Late last year, I reconnected with a very old friend of mine, Raj Sankla, after a good, long gap of 6 years. A rare few of you all who knew me back in school would know that my boy Sankla and I were as thick as thieves. We studied together at The Doon School for 6 years from 2012 to 2018, where we were housemates for all 6 years, dormmates for 3, and we shared a study in Class 12th (senior year). The other day, I found an old picture of both of us, along with Arjun Jai Khanna, one of my two oldest friends in the world (I have known him for 22 of 25 years of my life), in front of the Kedarnath temple in 2016.

Sankla and I were both car and gaming nerds for the longest time as kids, so we became friends quite quickly back in school. Along the way, of course, we had far more fights, arguments, and disagreements than I can remember. In fact, we may have used our fists to settle our disputes rather than our words on more than one occasion (because boys are boys). And yet, even after not staying in touch regularly, this man flew me out for his engagement celebration in October and then hosted me at his place in Pune in November. We sat for hours, catching up on work, life, and everything in between, and to this day, I trust him like I trust my brother.

I look forward to the opportunity to be “inconvenienced” by Sankla someday soon. He will read this and send me the wackiest dance routine possible for his wedding coming up soon. After I’m done crying about it internally, I will try my best to do it some justice. And then, someday, he will hopefully call upon me to do a real service for him. Which I will do with pleasure.

I hope that everyone of you is lucky enough to have a Sankla or an Arjun you can call upon in the toughest of your days. I’m privileged to have a few more such folks in my life who I’d fight for till the ends of the earth. A friendship of inconvenience isn’t just a privilege. It is a responsibility (of the greatest honour). If you don’t, you still have time. Put in the effort. Build the friendship. It will be worth the effort every single day going forward.

Last month was the first time I missed posting a newsletter issue at all. There have been times when I’ve posted an editorial instead. Unfortunately, my work schedule over September and October has been an absolute mess. And that has forced me to take a moment to contemplate.

Wait, what’s happening?

You see, when I started this newsletter, it came as a consequence of the random community convos I hosted on Twitter during the COVID pandemic. These conversations had become a space to openly share individual, unfiltered insights and opinions for me and our community. I loved meeting with everyone who joined these conversations, and they helped me build some friendships that I truly treasure. I thought the natural next step was to build a community around these conversations and to collect and document the thoughts I’d usually share in these conversations, which is how our community and this newsletter came to be.

Over time, I’ve been continuously working on this newsletter, which I have absolutely loved. However, at the same time, I believe I have failed at nurturing the community we started. I had initially hoped to continue the same kind of conversations that we used to have in this community, but I have not been able to do so to the extent that I would have wanted to.

In all honesty, I don’t see my life or my schedule getting any easier, and it’s forced me to make a few decisions.

For the community

After much consideration, I have decided to sunset the WhatsApp community. I appreciate everyone who has been a part of this community and am especially grateful to Saurabh Kumar Suryan, Raghav Agarwal, and Nirupama Singh for helping launch this effort in the first place.

I’m not immediately closing the WhatsApp community, but I will do so over the next few weeks. If any of you would like to connect, you can still join us on WhatsApp, but I would strongly urge you to start a different group of your own if you want to maintain communication with each other, because our groups will be shut down.

For the newsletter

As far as this Substack goes, the newsletter will stay. I love writing this newsletter, and I hope to bring it back to the same consistency as in the past. Fortunately, I have the next two topics planned out, with one in the works.

With that said, I will need help. If you are someone who wants to help edit or write content (you will get a byline for writing, of course), please click on the link below:

Want to contribute?

That said, the newsletter will undergo one significant change: I will rebrand it soon.

For a long time, this newsletter has represented my thoughts more than what everyone else is trying to ask about. Its brand will represent the same. I don’t have a timeline for when this change will happen, but it will be announced soon. By the way, with the WhatsApp community being sunsetted, you can still stay in touch with your fellow readers in the Substack Chat.

Thank you, everyone

If you have been a reader of this newsletter for any period of time, I want to thank you for the time, effort, and attention you have devoted to reading and supporting my words. Even if this newsletter has been my forum to share, you have sustained it so far.

I hope to continue creating value for everyone of you for a very long time.

With warm regards and the best of wishes,
Aditya Oberai

“You and a super intelligent snail both get 1 million dollars, and you both become immortal, however you die if the snail touches you. It always knows where you are and slowly crawls toward you. What’s your plan?”

I perceived this question as an exploration of the limits of what a person could do to live forever, and I came across quite a range of answers in varying levels of simplicity and brutality. Now, for the longest time, I have believed that we as humans should NOT live forever, that mortality gives our lives meaning and pushes us to do good today.

Lately, I have been forced to question myself. In a world where every word we say online is archived and stored, should our thoughts and words sustain beyond us, and should we strive for our digital presence to remain immortal even when we as humans aren’t? Let’s explore this problem in this newsletter issue.

What does “digital immortality” even mean? 🤔

When I say digital immortality, I’m not referring to some sci-fi concept of uploading our consciousness to the cloud. I mean how our digital footprint (tweets, blogs, videos, comments, memes, even DMs) outlive us.

Think about it: the internet today, especially social platforms, do not forget. Search engines surface decade-old posts in seconds. AI scraping tools preserve content forever. And archives like the Wayback Machine capture snapshots of us even when we try to delete them. In a very real sense, our online presence will outlive our biological life.

So the question is less about whether we achieve digital immortality, and more about what kind of immortality we are curating for ourselves.

Would our knowledge of this immortality affect our authenticity? 🧠

If we all internalize that our words and posts will live forever, our natural instinct is to self-censor. We will polish our personas, carefully curate the “acceptable” sides of ourselves, and slowly sand away the rough, human edges that make us real.

This isn’t hypothetical. It is already happening. Professional Twitter feeds look more like LinkedIn highlight reels than real reflections of people’s lives. Every post feels like it is written with an imaginary HR manager or future investor in mind.

But when authenticity erodes, honesty and vulnerability suffer. Instead of messy truths, we leave behind sterilized brands. The danger is that our digital immortality becomes a gallery of masks, faces we wore for safety, not who we truly were.

Humans remember the “words” but forget the “times” 🤷

There’s another problem. Even if we were our authentic selves, humans are terrible at preserving context.

Someone’s edgy joke from 2011 resurfaces in 2025, and people judge it by today’s standards. A rant written during a personal crisis might be stripped of its background and held as a definitive statement of someone’s character. Books have had this problem for centuries (rather, millennia), but that’s not a Pandora’s box I’m willing to open now. We remember the words, but we forget the times.

Immortality, then, doesn’t just immortalize us. It immortalizes our worst takes, half-baked thoughts, and rawest emotions, all frozen and decontextualized. And once context is gone, meaning distorts.

What can we do about it? 👀

Digital immortality may feel inevitable, but not all hope is lost. Changes are coming at a policy level worldwide. In the European Union, the General Data Protection Regulation (GDPR) defines the Right to Be Forgotten under Article 17, allowing individuals to request that data controllers erase personal data when it’s outdated, irrelevant, or obtained without valid consent. Here at home in India, too, the Digital Personal Data Protection Act (DPDP), 2023 includes a Right to correction and erasure of personal data.

There are several steps you can take to ensure more control of information about/you that is sustained on the internet:

1. Audit your digital footprint

   • Google yourself; verify what old posts, articles, or social media show up.

   • Take a moment to reflect. Ask yourself whether you would be comfortable with these being searchable in 10 years.

2. Clean up proactively

   • Delete or update old content you no longer stand by across all platforms.

3. Post with intention

   • Assume everything might persist, act accordingly.

   • Consider using ephemeral features (Stories, disappearing messages) for sensitive content.

4. Plan for your digital legacy

   • On Google, set up the Inactive Account Manager to determine what happens if your account becomes inactive.

   • Appoint a legacy contact on Apple and Facebook to manage or memorialize your account.

   • Consider documenting instructions about your digital accounts in your will.

5. Own your platform

   • Use personal blogs, newsletters, or self-hosted sites where you control retention. (Ironically, I haven’t done this yet for this newsletter; I will soon create a separate, independent archive of every article written here.)

   • Avoid relying entirely on platforms where you don’t control permanence.

Words SHOULD be locked in time 😮‍💨

Here’s where I land: words should live in time, not eternity.

Yes, archives and records have value. Historians and communities learn from them. But at a personal level, the idea of being permanently judged by a tweet, a thread, or even a blog without the context of the era it was written in is deeply unfair. Mortality protects us from being trapped forever by a single version of ourselves.

That’s why I’m against digital immortality. The right to fade, to be forgotten, is not just a privacy right. It’s a human right.

I understand that true erasure of information is pretty much a myth. Digital archives, screenshots, and caches will endure in some or the other corner of the digital world. But we as humans evolve. We outgrow ideas. We fail, learn, and move on. And our words deserve to be mortal, just like us.

Maybe the blessing isn’t in living forever online. Perhaps the blessing is in knowing that our voices mattered when they were heard and that we, like everything else in life, were fleeting. And that’s okay.

Spoiler Alert: The following content will refer to various scenes from the new Superman movie. While it won’t reveal the story, read forward at your own risk.

A couple of weekends back, I went to watch Superman, and honestly, I was blown away by what James Gunn, David Corenswet, and the team at DC Studios achieved with this movie. While my social feed is primarily filled with people cheering for the movie, I’ve seen several “opposing opinions” around the idea of Superman (looking at all you “Snyderboys”!).

Personally, I’m glad that we have a Superman on the silver screen who actually feels like the Superman of the comics after 19 years. I think many people have forgotten everything Superman is supposed to stand for. In a world as harsh and cynical and conflict-affected as ours, we need a Superman who stands for hope, kindness, and empathy.

Therefore, in this issue, I will share my thoughts on what Superman stands for, especially in the context of masculinity, privilege, and hope.

The perfect embodiment of masculinity 🙍‍♂️

If you have to characterize Superman, there are certain aspects that every single person can undeniably see, like the fact that he is VERY VERY STRONG (he once benchpressed the weight of the Earth for 5 days straight!) or that he can fly through the skies at super-sonic speeds or that he can shoot rays of energy from his eyes or even that he is handsome (he literally looks like a model carved from steel). But there is a further layer beneath Superman’s awesome exterior that many people don’t notice or admit. Under the surface, Superman is the perfect archetype of a good man. Despite all his strength, Superman is immensely kind, humble, compassionate, courageous, honest, hopeful, selfless, and more.

Superman’s the kind of character who takes a moment to save a squirrel while fighting a 100-metre Kaiju because every life is worth protecting (the Injustice storyline is an aberration in the history of Superman, not the standard). He fights world-threatening events but also helps save a kid’s cat stuck in a tree because it’s the good thing to do. He works as an investigative journalist at the Daily Planet not only because it keeps him more closely informed of events around the world, but it also allows him to fight crime and corruption in the light of day as a human would, inspiring others around him to do better. He stands with a kid at the verge of suicide for over 12 hours straight, only to remind them that their life is precious and he’s there for them when they’re ready to ask for help.

And this is precisely how we need to be defining masculinity in a world that treats it as a weapon to attack not just people in their weakest moments, but people who aren’t the same as us. We don’t need another Andrew Tate or Adin Ross trying to manipulate vulnerable men and shun the voices that need uplifting. Superman is strong without ego or vanity. He’s out there to help and serve and protect, not to command. Superman isn’t always perfect (check the graphic below); he has moments of doubt and gets scared, but he carries his heart on his sleeve and chooses to stand and fight for those he loves and those who need him every single day.

Exemplary ownership of privilege 🤝

Anyone who knows Superman also (probably) has heard of Lex Luthor. For those who haven’t, imagine if J. Robert Oppenheimer and Elon Musk merged into one person and turned 10x more evil. He is as smart and cunning as a human can possibly be and hates Superman with so deep an obsession it burns like the fires of hell.

Now, Lex hates Superman for several reasons. He hates Superman’s almost limitless (innate) power and the endless love he receives for being an alien saviour from the rest of the world. But more than anything, Lex resents Superman because he did not have to earn any of his powers. When you think of it, isn’t this exactly how we perceive “privilege”?

When it comes to owning one’s privilege, Superman is the best example I could possibly give. He doesn’t deny the immense power he was born with. Instead, he chooses to use it in the service of the world that adopted him when his spaceship crashed on Earth as a baby. He acts with empathy, grace, and deep responsibility, and holds himself accountable when he falls short, even when the world doesn’t demand it. And his privilege extends far beyond his powers. It is driven by the steady, values-driven upbringing he received from the Kents in Smallville, parents who taught him humility, compassion, and the strength to do what’s right, even when it’s hard.

In a world where power and privilege often corrupt, Superman shows us that they can also illuminate when guided by conscience and care. For those of us born with real and/or metaphorical “silver spoons” (including me), he reminds us that our privilege is a responsibility we must fulfill, especially when we stand on the shoulders of giants. And for those who unfortunately aren’t, he helps us remember that we can feel warmth generated by the light others created and extend it to those around us, even in the darkest times.

As Jonathan (Pa) Kent reminds us in the movie,

“Parents aren't for telling their children who they're supposed to be. We are here to give y'all tools to help you make fools of yourselves all on your own. Your choices. Your actions. That's what makes you who you are.”

Our world needs hope today more than ever! 🫂

A lot of people today don’t know that Superman was created in 1938 by Jerry Siegel and Joe Shuster, sons of Jewish immigrants, at a time when Hitler’s anti-Semitic campaign was at its peak (he actually punched Hitler before Captain America did!). He was supposed to be a beacon of hope for the weak and the mistreated around the world, especially when one of its superpowers wanted to eradicate a group of people for the sole purpose of being who they were.

Almost 80 years since World War II ended, and our world is more divided than ever, with more hatred, distrust, and fear in our society than ever. We live in a world where war crimes are livestreamed, where children are being bombed, where trans lives are constantly under threat, where women’s rights are being rolled back, and where the richest people on Earth are too busy building rocket ships to notice the planet burning beneath them. Masculinity is being twisted into a loud, insecure performance, power is confused with cruelty, and empathy is seen as weakness.

Even in a world so harsh, Superman has the power to make a little boy believe that he can fly high above the skies and remind us all that there is beauty in the people of this world that is worth preserving. (Whether you believe me or not, please watch the video below. It is everything the movie is about.)

Maybe the point of Superman was never just about saving the world. It was supposed to remind us what kind of people we could be if we chose kindness, stood up for others, owned our privilege with humility, and never gave up on hope, even when the world tells us that’s naive. Superman reminds us that strength isn’t about domination. It’s about choosing to show up with courage, grace, and love in the face of cruelty.

If even a fictional alien from another planet can help us believe in the best of humanity, maybe we owe it to ourselves and each other to try harder to be worthy of that belief.

This gives me a chance to pause and turn the mic towards y’all. I want to know what you feel about the newsletter these days. Some questions I have for you are:"

• Do you think the newsletter offers any value to you?

• Are there topics you want to learn more about but aren’t seeing?

• Do you like the topics but not the content?

• Is the content style interesting at all?

• What do you want to hear about next?

All feedback helps, and I really want to hear from you. If that sounds cool, would you consider dropping a comment or joining us on WhatsApp?

Looking forward to hearing what y’all think! Take care, friend; let’s talk soon 🫂

P.S.: Would you like to write a piece and publish it in the newsletter? If so, fill out the form, and I’ll contact you!

This is not innovation. This is a security breach waiting to happen.

This is what happens when people lean too hard on the vibe. They build software by instinct, skip fundamentals, and trust that the tool knows best. But when you are shipping products that handle real data, real users, and real consequences, vibes alone will not cut it.

Welcome to 2025, where AI code-generation tools can get you 80 percent of the way there. And yet, so many early-career developers are building software like they are writing poetry at an open mic. No structure, no planning, no understanding. Just vibes. It’s high time we start fixing that!

Are Vibe Coding And AI-Assisted Coding The Same Thing?

First, let’s clear the air. Vibe coding is not the same as using an AI assistant.

Vibe coding is what happens when you build software without understanding how anything works, relying entirely on tools to fill in the gaps. You feed ChatGPT a vague prompt, drag in some randomly generated code blocks, wire up a few buttons, and hope it works. You ship without testing. You copy code you don’t understand. You build with vibes, not logic.

AI-assisted coding, on the other hand, is intentional. You still plan your features. You still understand how your system fits together. You just move faster because you’ve got an AI pair programmer who helps with boilerplate, explains confusing concepts, and suggests things you were going to write anyway.

The difference is in the mindset. AI-assisted developers are still the architects, while vibe coders hope the house stands because someone else drew the blueprint.

The Basics Still Matter

Even with AI, you still need to be a developer. If you’re not doing these things, please start today!

#1: Learn What You’re Building

Wanting to skip the learning process before building is the number one reason for the sloppily generated code currently available. It is precisely how developers lose all control over what they are building.

If you’re building an authentication system, you can’t not learn what tokens are, how sessions work, and why storing passwords in plaintext is a terrible idea. If you’re calling APIs, you must understand how requests are structured, what status codes mean, and how to handle errors gracefully. If you’re storing data, you should know how relational and NoSQL databases differ, when to use indexes, and what trade-offs come with each schema decision.

AI can help you write the code, but it can’t teach you to care. That part is on you. And in this case, to care is also to control. Every decision you delegate without understanding becomes a potential landmine waiting to explode (maybe not today, but definitely someday!)

#2: Pause and Assess

Before you open Cursor, start wiring up a UI, or churning out an API, just pause and ask yourself:

• What am I actually trying to build?

• Can I describe the core flow of this feature out loud or on paper?

• Is there a simpler solution hiding behind the flashy one?

Every minute spent thinking before you build will save you ten debugging later. That pause could be the difference between launching a feature that works and shipping one that silently breaks user data in production. Sometimes, the best code is no code (or just a well-placed conditional). But you won’t realize that if you rush to prompt before you plan.

#3: Plan Before You Code

Design still matters, now more than ever. Start outlining your features, sketching out your user journeys, and writing pseudocode if that helps you structure your logic.

Even a basic plan, a few bullets on what the function needs to do, can guide your AI assistant to better output. If you just prompt “build me an upload feature”, the results will vary wildly. But if you’ve already planned: “I need to let users upload PDF files up to 10MB, store them in an S3 storage bucket, and tag them by user ID”, now you’ve got a little more clarity than before (and you still need more but hey, it’s a start).

Think about how data flows through your app, how users interact with it, and where things might break. These are the habits that turn junior developers into senior ones. AI can write snippets, but it can’t architect systems. That’s still your job.

#4: Prompt Better

AI is not a mind-reader. Vague prompts get vague answers. And vague answers lead to broken features.

You have to be specific. Mention your tech stack: React with Express backend, or Python using FastAPI. Define the scope: Only show me the server-side handler, I’ll wire up the frontend. Include constraints: File size should be under 5MB, and use S3-compatible storage. If something doesn’t work, you must refine your prompt instead of blindly retrying. Break down the problem. Iterate like you would with a human teammate.

And always test what it gives you. Don’t assume it’s correct. Run the code. Read the output. Check for edge cases. The better your prompt, the better your result (and the more you’ll learn in the process). Prompting well is a skill. The sooner you treat it like one, the faster you grow.

Use Tools as Collaborators, Not Crutches

AI isn’t magic. It’s a junior developer who works fast but needs direction. So start treating it like one. That means you:

• Review everything it gives you

• Test like it was written by a stranger (because it was)

• Ask it to explain things, but still go read the docs

You cannot use these tools to avoid thinking, only to move faster after you’ve thought things through. Because the goal isn’t to ship fast. The goal is to ship things that don’t explode.

AI tools are here to stay. And that’s great. But if you’re a developer, especially early in your career, you don’t get to opt out of learning. Not if you want to build things that last. So stop vibe coding every damn time. Pause. Think. Prompt intentionally. Learn constantly.

Code like you mean it.

In the past, I have defended Topmate for enabling people to get fairly compensated for their efforts. However, over time, I’ve realized there is far more nuance to this discussion, which goes beyond charging money for offering your time. Therefore, in this newsletter issue, we will discuss the ethicality of paid mentorship and referrals.

A few disclaimers

Before we start this discussion, I have a few disclaimers I’d like to share:

1. I don’t oppose anyone from promoting content for a brand (what triggered this recent fiasco on Twitter). In the past, I have collaborated with companies such as Wix.com, Warp, and Commvault, and I stand by every one of those promotions. However, I recommend that people evaluate the consequences of certain promotions before agreeing to them.

2. I don’t have an issue with anyone seeking compensation for their time and effort, even if it is just a video call. It allows any such positive efforts to be sustainable.

3. This article is not a hit job on Topmate. It intends to discuss the behaviours of service providers and consumers on the platform; however, it may mention specific actions the company has taken and potential consequences.

4. This issue is focused on tech professionals and software engineers, not professionals from other fields. I don’t have the knowledge or insight to comment on any other industry and will not be doing so.

What exactly is the problem?

One of the biggest concerns with Topmate is that it lets just about anyone list mentorship services without any checks or verification. Because most people buying sessions are early-career folks looking for guidance, the platform has slowly turned into a fish market of advice. Most of what’s being sold is painfully generic: resume tips, DSA prep, how to speak confidently in interviews, stuff you can easily find for free online.

The truth is that for early-career professionals, the tech industry has fairly well-defined and standard entryways. If you’re aiming for companies like Google, Amazon, Microsoft, Infosys, TCS, etc., the path to getting there is pretty well documented. There’s already more than enough content out there to guide you through it. So the value of what you’re buying is already questionable at best.

However, this leads me to another question altogether.

Are people THAT desperate for mentorship and referrals?

The simple answer is YES! But the reasons for that are far from simple.

This story of desperation starts with privilege. Not the overt, flashy kind, but the quiet kind, like growing up in a household where English was spoken fluently, having access to a computer and stable internet from a young age, or being encouraged to explore interests without worrying about survival. These privileges shape our paths long before we enter the job market. They define the headstarts we receive in life, whether we start 15 metres ahead or 20 metres behind in a 100 metre race.

Then comes social media. LinkedIn is a relentless stream of positivity porn, focused on wins such as new jobs, big announcements, and course completions, without a note on late nights, rejections, and self-doubt. It’s a broadcast signal defining what jobs and accomplishments define success in the world today. As humans, most of us long for acceptance, attention, and praise. Slowly, FOMO creeps in; not just fear of missing out but, even more so, fear of being left behind.

In that environment, anything that promises a leg up, a mentor call, a referral, a connection, starts to feel like salvation. Platforms like Topmate tap into that hunger. And in the process, the line between guidance and grift begins to blur.

Did “career” influencers help with this problem?

Unfortunately, this world is not the nicest place out there. When someone understands just how desperate people can be, how deeply they crave a breakthrough, a referral, a way out, and then chooses to play with that desperation for personal gain, the outcome is rarely ethical. It’s manipulative, exploitative, and often disguised as “help.”

And then, of course, we have the rise of the career influencer in tech. Not people who talk deeply about a particular technical domain, but folks who build an entire brand around job offers, interview wins, and motivational one-liners. Now, this in itself isn’t necessarily a bad thing. I am friends with influencers like Arsh Goyal and Kushal Vijay, who have done wonders for the student community, and I greatly respect that. However, seeing the success of these influencers, others start to mimic their approach, turning personal wins into performances.

And when they begin selling calls on Topmate, they create the illusion that they’ve discovered some secret formula for success. In reality, it’s often just the same advice in a fancier wrapper, now tied to a price tag.

Greed ruins all good things.

It always starts with a noble intention and ends with a slow decay, the kind you don’t notice until the rot has already settled in.

I took a stroll through Topmate’s marketplace, and what I found was rather unsettling. A growing number of individuals were openly charging money for referrals. Not resume reviews or career guidance, referrals!

Even when the minimum price is minimal (₹10, ₹50, ₹100, or even nothing), the idea that you could “book” a referral like a haircut feels wrong. It turns what’s supposed to be a personal endorsement into a commodity. And if it can be bought, it can and will be gamed. Unintentionally or not, Topmate is enabling this with their “Pay what you like” feature.

Hypothetically, I could pay ₹10,000 for a referral instead of the set minimum of ₹10, potentially disincentivizing a referrer from internally pushing for better candidates in my favor, because I paid them more. In the worst-case scenario, this would enable people to bribe their way into jobs they don’t deserve.

Referrals were never meant to be a service. They’ve always been a quiet signal of trust, that someone within a company is willing to put their name behind you because they believe you’re genuinely a good fit. It’s not just a professional courtesy; it’s a personal gesture. But when referrals become something you can buy, that trust begins to fade. The meaning behind the act is lost, and the system that once relied on integrity starts to unravel. What was once “I believe in this person” slowly turns into “someone paid me to say this,” and that changes everything.

Is paid mentorship even ethical?

Mentorship was never meant to be a one-hour call with a stranger. It is a relationship built on context, trust, and a shared investment in someone’s growth. Good mentorship is not just about giving advice. It is about listening, understanding, and offering direction that fits the person before you, not a generic blueprint. That kind of depth takes time. It cannot be rushed, and it definitely cannot be packaged into a booking link.

This isn’t a dig at services like mock interviews, resume reviews, or portfolio feedback. Those can be genuinely helpful, especially when offered by someone who knows what they’re doing. If someone’s putting in time and effort to give you specific, actionable feedback, it makes sense for that to be a paid service. The issue isn’t with those sessions, it’s with how mentorship itself is being packaged and sold, stripped of context and care, and pitched as some kind of guaranteed shortcut to success (which it isn’t!)

Concluding thoughts

At the end of the day, this isn’t about blaming one platform or calling out individuals. It’s about recognizing that vulnerability, which when left unchecked, becomes a business opportunity (and not in a good way). Topmate may have started with good intentions, but even well-meaning systems can spiral into something exploitative without guardrails. When mentorship and referrals become products, they lose the trust and care that gave them value in the first place.

If you’re offering help, do it with honesty. If you’re seeking it, ask whether what you’re paying for is something you genuinely need or whether it’s just something you’ve been made to believe you’re missing.

There are no shortcuts to a meaningful career. Just the work, the people who walk with you, and the lessons you pick up along the way.

Now, maybe out of biases or mere convenience, I am incredibly pro-AI when it comes to democratizing art for people. Therefore, in this issue, I will debate the validity of AI art and discuss why it should be sustained.

Disclaimer #1: While I endorse AI art, I by no means stand for copyright infringement or any intellectual property violations. None of my perspectives are intended to promote stealing any other individual or entity’s works.

Disclaimer #2: The definition of “art” being considered is the one on Wikipedia, which says the following: “Art describes a diverse range of cultural activity centered around works utilizing creative or imaginative talents, which are expected to evoke a worthwhile experience, generally through an expression of emotional power, conceptual ideas, technical proficiency, and/or beauty.”

The “Miyazaki” Angle To This Debate

Ever since Sam Altman announced the update to ChatGPT’s image model and we saw a storm of Ghibli-styled images on social media, I’ve come across several people commenting on how Hayao Miyazaki, the co-founder of Studio Ghibli, is anti-AI. This is unsurprising, considering many of the studio’s works have anti-industrialization elements.

However, most people pushing this narrative provide partial context, where they cut the part of the video that shows a grotesque monster with unnatural muscle movements and that Miyazaki-san feels severely offended because of his experiences with a friend with a physical disability. Moreover, every one of those narratives conveniently forgets to mention that these statements made are not in the context of the AI-generated Ghibli-esque content we have seen today but from 2016, i.e., 9 years ago, when the state of generative AI was very different from what it is today.

While I don’t claim that Miyazaki-san’s opinions on AI art are different today, cutting a part of an old statement with an entirely different context is unethical, in my honest opinion.

Art’s Issues With Tech Are Not New

With all due respect to the art world, artists have protested technological advancements for centuries. The most significant example is photography, which may be considered a fine art today but was treated as an outcast throughout the 19th century ( we still have access to a 170-year-old publication calling it out!)

And I think I understand why!

Humans romanticize the labour and struggle behind our work (Akanksha Pandey verbalized this wonderfully on X). We don’t just glamourize it but also sell it to the masses. Therefore, work done in 2 hours must be less valuable than work done in 10 hours. Here is my question to these critics of AI art: if AI generates art with much less effort, why does its existence threaten you? If it were just the fact that its outcomes are based on existing prominent artists, wouldn’t fan art and imitation art threaten just as much? Or is it just that, for the first time in history, tools like these have been made accessible to the regular public at a price they can afford, which means that some people may have their livelihoods threatened?

At this point, some people may argue that using the works for inspiration is wrong. For them, I may refer to Ramiz Rahman’s words on how AI learns art. With that said, let me show you a little experiment. I asked ChatGPT to add me to the worlds of Indiana Jones and TRON, and it simply would not allow me.

This is because while art styles cannot be copyrighted and ChatGPT can implement them, it can’t use any direct elements in generated images. If you look at the eventual outcomes, neither can directly be placed in either universe, yet they are heavily inspired, which is what fan art is!

This is precisely what ChatGPT did with those Ghibli-esque pictures, too. It used general aesthetic qualities like soft lighting, lush nature, magical realism, and warm color palettes associated with Studio Ghibli’s works without using direct elements such as specific characters or scenes, keeping them within the confines of fair use.

Tech And AI Make Art More Accessible

This brings me to one of my strongest observations: art is finally becoming accessible to everyone, not just the privileged few. Throughout history, art has been a proponent of cultures, teaching us about times, places, religions, people, and much more. Yet, simultaneously, the powerful always decided which art should be sustained and which should be destroyed.

In many ways, technology has always been a friend of art. The internet has not only made it possible for any budding or accomplished artist to build an entirely new audience that would have been inaccessible to them (via social media, Behance, self-hosted digital portfolios, etc.) but also for art to be digitally preserved and made immortal (just look at the Metropolitan Museum of Art collection on the Internet Archive). Efforts like these also make it possible for me to sit over 13,300 KM away from this incredible museum and be able to appreciate the works sitting there.

AI has taken this another step further. For the first time in history, we can immerse ourselves in our favoured styles of art and literally see ourselves through the eyes of these great stalwarts of art and culture. This does not demean their work but allows us to celebrate them on our terms. It is flattery of the highest form!

Even if ephemeral, this artificially generated beauty creates a gateway that lets us explore these works of art, learn why they are the way they are, understand the meaning behind their pieces, and consider the implications of the times and culture they came from. Just imagine a future where you go to a museum and visit an exhibit about the Neanderthals, dinosaurs, India’s freedom struggle, Salvador Dali’s “Alice in Wonderland” collection, or Van Gogh’s “Cafe Terrace At Night,” and you get a chance to literally see yourself as a part of this environment because AI can generate personalized media? Does that not create an opportunity to bring you closer to the art, culture, or history? I believe this has the potential to make us far more knowledgeable and cultured people. If you think this won’t happen at all, look at the Google Web Search Trend for “Studio Ghibli” over the last 5 years and how it has changed since OpenAI’s update.

Should “AI Art” Exist?

I recently came across a rather moving Instagram post by @andheriwestshitposting about how people can derive meaning from this “borrowed beauty” created by art.

The comments are divisive, with strong advocates for and against AI art lashing out there. Yes, there is a lot of ethical ambiguity around how licensing should work in such circumstances, and I am definitely not an expert on that problem. However, if art styles could be owned, that would be devastating not just for AI but also for the world of art. As Stephen Wolfson wrote in the Creative Commons blog:

However, style is not generally protected by copyright, and that’s a good thing; if one artist were given a monopoly over anime, grunge music, or other styles, that would frustrate copyright’s core purpose of supporting creativity.

Furthermore, Catherine Stihler took this further in her article on generative AI in the Creative Commons blog, sharing how all creative work builds on past efforts:

A founding insight of Creative Commons is that all creativity builds on the past. When people learn to play the cello or paint a picture, for instance, they necessarily learn from and train their own skills by engaging pre-existing works and artists — for instance, noticing the style in which cellists like Yo-Yo Ma arrange notes, or building on surrealist styles initiated by artists like Dali. Similarly, while Star Wars invented the character of Luke Skywalker, it built on the idea of the hero’s journey, among many other elements from past works. People observe the ideas, styles, genres, and other tropes of past creativity, and use what they learn to create anew. No creativity happens in a vacuum, purely original and separate from what’s come before.

The truth is that generative AI platforms are tools in the hands of creators, just as the camera is in the hands of a photographer and the paint brushes are in the hands of a painter. Yes, one requires far more effort and struggle than the others. However, the simple truth of the world is that doers are impacted by the pain and struggle of the process, whereas the end-result or outcome impacts consumers. If that were not the case, we would not choose McDonald’s or Domino’s over other restaurants, H&M or Zara over our local tailors, or Swiggy or Zomato over our nearby grocery store.

And I am not saying that the outputs of GenAI tools are at par with those of these artists. They are inspired, in essence, and can only be close imitations at best. Moreover, the works of institutions like Studio Ghibli are defined not just by aesthetics but even moreso by their underlying meaning and message. These underlying messages are not inculcated in the outputs by the tools but by those who wield them. Therefore, unless one of us can develop a narrative and underlying message to stand side-by-side with Spirited Away, Kiki’s Delivery Service, and My Neighbour Totoro, it’s safe to say that ChatGPT is not surpassing Studio Ghibli (or any other contemporary) in any way.

Concluding Thoughts

In an earlier conversation on Twitter, Akanksha Pandey mentioned that art’s power lies in its ability to exist without function, and I concur with her note that more than its origin, art’s merit lies in the manner in which it lights up our souls. The way art lights up our souls is very individual and subjective, but the truth is that in the last 5 days, AI art has done precisely that for far too many of us, leading to one of the most peaceful and wholesome phases on social media in a while.

Therefore, I will leave the readers here with a little thought about AI art. When we decide what moves our feelings and sparks our curiosity, why the heck should anyone else decide whether it is art or not?

Now, I don’t hate any of these opinions (a couple of these folks are, in fact, friends). The “ick” that DevRel as a profession is sometimes perceived with on Twitter isn’t without reason. Therefore, in this issue, I want to explore why social media is so integral to DevRel, why we spend so much time here, and the problems we face behind the scenes.

The Burdens of Doing DevRel on Social Media 😩

Social media is a powerful tool in Developer Relations (DevRel). It helps us build connections, share knowledge, and engage with the developer community. But when our role makes us public figures representing a company, there’s a tricky balance to maintain. It brings upon us certain challenges, which are mentioned below.

1. Our Personal Voice vs. Our Company’s Message

As DevRel professionals, we juggle two identities online—our personal, authentic selves and our roles as representatives of a company. On one hand, we want to be real, relatable, and human. We might want to share a humorous take on a frustrating debugging session or offer an unfiltered opinion on the latest tech trend. On the other hand, every post we make is seen through the lens of our company’s brand. Even when we think we’re just speaking for ourselves, others may interpret our words as carrying official weight.

This dual role means we must always consider how our words could be perceived. Misinterpretations can lead to confusion, backlash, or even harm to the company's reputation. Striking the right balance between personal authenticity and corporate responsibility is an ongoing challenge that requires constant awareness and adjustment.

2. The Internet Never Forgets

We’ve all been there, posting something in the heat of the moment and then second-guessing it later. While deleting a tweet or post might seem like a quick fix, the truth is that nothing on the internet truly disappears. Screenshots, archived pages, and even automated bot accounts can ensure that anything we say remains accessible long after we’ve tried to erase it.

For DevRel professionals, this means that a single misstep can have lasting consequences. Even well-intentioned remarks can be taken out of context, resurfacing at unexpected times. This creates an ongoing challenge of maintaining a professional yet authentic presence while minimizing the risk of reputational harm.

3. Social Media Metrics Aren’t the Whole Story

In an era where numbers dominate our online interactions, it’s easy to fall into the trap of equating success with high follower counts, likes, and retweets. After all, the sweet cha-chings of Twitter notifications excite us, don’t they?

The reality is that engagement metrics often don’t tell the full story. A viral tweet or meme might bring temporary attention, but it doesn’t necessarily lead to meaningful developer adoption or engagement. The pressure to chase metrics can distract from true value creation, making it difficult to measure the real impact of DevRel efforts.

4. The Glory Burden Of Being the Face

When we work in DevRel, we often become one of the most recognizable faces of our company within the developer community. This visibility has many advantages—developers trust us, seek our insights, and look to us as a source of guidance. However, it is more burden than glory.

If our company makes an unpopular decision, there’s an outage, or a feature doesn’t work as expected, we’re likely to hear about it (often in our mentions, replies, and even personal messages). Developers may also assume we have internal influence and might ask us for special favors, like fast-tracking feature requests or granting extra credits. The weight of these expectations can be overwhelming and difficult to manage.

5. The Pressure to Always Be Online

Social media is an incredibly powerful tool for DevRel, but it’s easy to fall into the trap of feeling like we must always be online. The expectation to post daily, join every Twitter Space, answer DMs at all hours, and stay on top of every discussion can quickly become overwhelming.

This expectation can lead to burnout, decreased productivity, and even anxiety over missing important discussions. The challenge lies in finding a balance between being actively engaged with the community and maintaining a sustainable workflow and personal well-being.

Practical Advice for DevRel Professionals on Social Media 🙇

Navigating social media as a DevRel professional can be overwhelming, but there are ways to make it more effective and sustainable. Here are a few guiding principles:

1. Stay Authentic, But Be Mindful

Authenticity is important, but so is being mindful of our position. Before posting, we should ask ourselves:

• Does our comment align with our role?

• Could it be misinterpreted as an official statement?

It’s important to strike a balance. We can be human, but being responsible ensures we don’t put our company in an awkward position.

2. Focus on Impact, Not Just Numbers

A viral meme might get attention, but a well-written guide that helps a developer build something is far more valuable. Many great DevRel professionals start with small followings and grow their influence by consistently providing value (I had less than 2000 followers on Twitter when I joined Appwrite). Instead of chasing clout, we should prioritize meaningful contributions to the developer community.

3. Think Before You Post

Before posting, it’s useful to reflect:

• Will this be understood the way we mean it?

• Could this resurface in a way we don’t intend?

• Is this something we’d be comfortable defending a year from now?

Being thoughtful about our online presence isn’t about self-censorship; it’s about protecting our credibility. A moment of consideration before posting can prevent long-term misunderstandings.

4. Listen, Empathize, and Redirect

When our company makes an unpopular decision, or an outage occurs, we can expect to see it in our mentions. Developers might even message us personally for customer support issues.

Instead of taking everything upon ourselves, we should listen, empathize, and guide people to the right channels. We can be the bridge between the community and our company, but we’re not personally responsible for everything that happens internally.

5. Use Social Media Intentionally

To keep social interactions positive and productive, we should establish boundaries:

• Set specific times for checking Discord, Twitter, or forums.

• Avoid getting dragged into unproductive debates.

• Take breaks; our job isn’t to be available 24/7.

Using social media with intention, whether to engage, learn, or share, ensures that it remains an asset rather than a source of burnout. If we exhaust ourselves, we won’t be able to help anyone effectively.

Finding the Right Balance 🤝

Dealing with this “DevRel–social media conundrum” is all about striking the right balance. Social platforms are an incredible resource for building relationships and staying connected, but they shouldn’t dictate our every move.

It’s important to engage meaningfully but also to set limits. Put the phone down when needed. Think before you tweet. Be kind, be real, and focus on impact over impressions. If we can approach social media with intentionality, it can remain one of our strongest allies in DevRel—without turning into a source of stress.

Further Reading 📃

What The Community Thinks 👨‍👩‍👧‍👦

Before I share my opinions, I thought it would be best to ask the community what they think and if there are any truths or facts that they would have appreciated knowing before they started their DevRel careers. So I went out on Twitter and asked people what they think, and we got some particularly fascinating answers.

Some “Truths” I Wish I Had Known 😌

All of this conversation on Twitter really tells me that we all have had some “truths” as DevRel professionals that we would have appreciated knowing before we jumped into this domain. Here is my list:

1. DevRel is More Than Just Talks & Swag

Many people in the developer community today assume that DevRel is all about speaking at conferences, hosting meetups, and handing out t-shirts, stickers, and other company swag. In truth, DevRel expands far beyond these tasks; as DevRel professionals, we are actively involved in creating educational content, developing community programs, engaging in support activities, advocating for our audience and community members within our companies, building sample applications and internal tools, conducting user research, and (sometimes) even more.

In simple words, we do a shit ton of work!

2. Your Metrics Will Be Questioned (A Lot!)

Truth be told, a lot of companies still struggle to measure the impact of their DevRel teams. This is a consequence of the fact that a lot of companies only built these teams looking at their competitors, the recommendations of their investors, or as a misguided effort to attract a developer audience. Therefore, you will often have to go out of the way to justify your work with metrics beyond vanity numbers such as Twitter followers, event attendees, or likes on a social post.

You should align your DevRel team goals with business outcomes such as developer adoption, retention, and engagement, as these outcomes are more easily quantifiable and have a much more direct impact.

3. You Can’t Make Everyone Happy

Truthfully speaking, you're not going to fulfill every request and make every developer in your community happy. Developers are just regular people who often come from different walks of life and carry different sets of experiences based on their environment, which will cause them to have a diversified set of needs on the whole. Unfortunately, what this means is that some people will love your work, some will absolutely hate it, and some just won’t care.

Try to prioritise constructive feedback and set boundaries to ensure you maintain your mental well-being.

4. DevRel is Not Just Travel

One of the most common DevRel tropes on social media is that DevRel professionals are constantly flying around the world and living a luxurious life. This is simply not true! In truth, most of my effective hours are spent online on my computer, working on content, sample apps, community initiatives, etc., all in one room.

If you love travel, that is great! But please don’t assume it’s mandatory. Most DevRel roles do not require travel more than 25% of the time.

5. Excessive Context Switching is Draining

DevRel will require you to wear multiple hats. I have spent days where, one moment, I am developing a new integration, another moment I am working on a blog post, and a third I am joining a meeting about a new community program. Constantly switching tasks will hurt your focus and productivity, which also leads to mental fatigue a lot quicker.

There are a few ways to tackle the mental drain of excessive context switching. You can batch similar tasks together; for example, block out a few hours on your Calendar (focus time) to work on content or write coding. You can also set communication boundaries (for example, shut off Slack or Teams when you’re taking focus time) and use async communication wherever possible.

6. Burnout is Very Real

There are times when this mix of content creation, community engagement, internal meetings, travel for events, etc., can make you feel overwhelmed and lead to burnout, too.

I would strongly suggest learning to say no without guilt and pace yourself (it’s okay to skip out on that one random meetup every once in a while). Also, make better use of your PTO, take time off after working weekends (conference staffing, events travel, etc.), and generally set better work-life boundaries so that you get time to recuperate.

7. Internal Advocacy is Just as Important as External Engagement

Remember how I shared earlier about this misunderstanding in the community of what DevRel teams actually really do? Yeah, you're gonna have the same problem internally as well. Truth be told, your team members are also humans who may not be aware of the nuance of every single piece of work you do. Sometimes, these misunderstandings and confusions can cause internal conflict simply because there is a lack of clarity on how each team can collaborate with you.

It is your responsibility to build strong internal relationships and educate and align with internal teams, whether that is marketing, product, sales, or engineering. This will help you go a long way, where each team understands the impact you make, which will help you enable each other to succeed much quicker.

8. Your Personal Brand Matters More Than You Think

As much as a lot of us like to believe that the value we create does not have to be represented by the likes we get on a post or the number of followers we have on a platform, the truth is that a strong personal brand will help you get better career growth and opportunities. Being active on platforms such as Twitter, LinkedIn, Dev.to, local communities, etc., will allow you to network better and open doors quickly.

Just remember that it isn't about having that one big, impactful activity; rather, you have to be consistent, create content regularly, and play the long game to really develop your brand.

9. You Must Maintain Your Technical Skills

As a DevRel professional, remember that all the work you do is intended to enable developers at the end of the day. As a Developer Advocate, when I create educational content or develop certain community programs, there is a high chance that I will be working on example code or building internal tools to help enable these initiatives. Therefore, unless your role specifies otherwise, you will have to maintain a certain level of hands-on technical expertise, even if it isn't a part of your day-to-day work.

The easiest way to maintain my technical skills is to develop side projects. This allows me to keep my hands active while also building ideas I want to invest my time in, making it a win-win!

10. Be Ready to "Take Out the Trash"

In DevRel, you’ll have to hide from the spotlight and focus on “boring” but necessary tasks, like answering support tickets, moderating forums, setting up demo environments, or even troubleshooting event logistics (I have sat in dusty little corners of stores waiting for standees to print, only to find the wrong size being printed). A lot of this work is not very glamorous, but it enables a much better experience for your community members. My suggestion is to embrace these “small” responsibilities because they really do add up in the “big” picture.

Not everything is glamorous, but these tasks help build trust and credibility.

Do I Still Like DevRel? 🥑

After thinking of all of these fruits, the big question that I have to ask myself is, do I still enjoy DevRel as a career? The answer is an outstanding yes! I absolutely love the work that I do every day as a Developer Advocate. It's so fulfilling to help developers succeed in building their applications and software,e and I truly value the friendships I have been able to build as a part of this career.

While this role constantly keeps me on my toes, and because tech doesn't stop evolving, I can never stop learning. However, I savour every moment I get to support my developer community. I really hope to see more people grow into this career, and as we see more developer tools enter the market, hopefully, it will allow DevRel to mature as a career option and offer better career ladders at the developer-facing companies we see in the ecosystem today.

Further Reading

The one thing I haven’t done in years, though, is make a “New Year’s resolution”. You’ve heard of those New Year’s resolutions, right? Those little promises and challenges people take up for a year, which most forget after a week? Yeah, I’m not a fan of those New Year’s resolutions. As 2024 ends, I’ve been introspecting more than usual, leading me to evaluate why I don’t like New Year’s resolutions. Let’s talk more about this as the issue proceeds.

What Does The Community Think?

As we used to in the past, I asked our community to share their perspectives on New Year’s resolutions via an X Post. And it led to some fascinating insights.

Himanshu Balani strongly supported resolutions as they enabled him to track his goals better, although he emphasized the necessity of strong willpower. Aharna spoke on similar lines, sharing how resolutions allowed her to reflect and quantify her growth at the end of a year. Sreekesh Iyer placed a counter-point, however, calling out a lack of motivation, discipline, and/or desperation for people unwilling to work on their goals before January 1st.

All the perspectives shared in my post seemed pretty reasonable; however, for me, one significant dilemma remained.

My Dilemma With New Year’s Resolutions

Every New Year’s resolution, in my opinion, has one fundamental problem: accountability.

Let’s think of it this way: you have a challenge you want to overcome that you decide not to start working on immediately, you set an arbitrary starting date, and no tracking of efforts or activity is made. This is how most people set their New Year’s resolutions. Sooner or later, most of them simply burn out and let go of these efforts, like the guy in the image below, who makes the resolution to exercise early morning on January 1st but has let go of it by January 7th,

Solving The Accountability Problem

Amid our discussion on the efficacy of New Year’s resolutions, Prajwal Prashanth raised a particularly interesting point on how the “previous year wrapped” held him more accountable than resolutions.

Truthfully speaking, he’s not wrong. Enough people are solving accountability with methods such as the following: (feel free to comment more on this post)

• habit trackers (can be an app or offline)

• vision boards (to better visualize the goals)

• accountability groups (people working on similar challenges, sharing daily/weekly, and encouraging each other)

• public declarations on social media (a little peer pressure helps sometimes xD)

At the end of the day, it boils down to having the discipline to persevere and stick to your goals despite all odds. Unfortunately, that’s not something I can teach yet; I’m still figuring it out. Maybe we don’t have to do that alone?

(If you need an accountability partner, drop a message in our community, and we’ll figure something out)

So What Should I Do Next?

This coming January 1st, I will not set any New Year’s resolutions. I have set some goals, though:

• Decrease consumption of soft drinks (Coca-Cola, Pepsi, etc.) and chips (or crisps)

• Develop a weekly workout schedule and actually stick to it

• Build more side-projects and participating in at least one hackathon

• Learn photo editing and understanding my Fujifilm X-T30 II better

• Read at least four novels (I loved reading as a kid, and I am rebuilding my habit)

• Invest more time in my relationships, be a better friend than I have been

I’m not calling these resolutions because I won’t wait until January 1st to work on them. These aren’t just goals but processes. The work starts now, and it doesn’t stop.

That said, I want to thank you all. This year has had its crests and troughs, with lots of wins and more than a few losses. Throughout all of this, I am really grateful to have had the support of all of you folks who read this newsletter. I really hope to meet more of you soon and wish you all a wonderful 2025.

Signing off 2024,
Aditya Oberai

With that said, in this newsletter issue, I’m going to include our little journey of how this newsletter happened and what we will do next.

Why I Started Writing

The idea behind me starting the newsletter happened during a very different phase of our lives—the COVID-19 pandemic. While this period recluded us to our homes without a choice, we saw a rise in online social activity for the majority of us. This rise in activity, for me, happened through Twitter Spaces, Clubhouse, and online community events.

For over two years, from 2020 to 2022, I ran multiple impromptu “no-agenda” catch-ups on Twitter Spaces called ”another random community convos.” While these Spaces created some wonderful conversations, learnings, and connections, the truth is that I needed them to alleviate the monotony and loneliness created by the pandemic. And so, I built a dependency on them, turning them into a reason to keep finding and interacting with new people.

One thing I eventually realized during this exercise of hosting Spaces was that, aside from needing to meet people, I had a lot I wanted to say about my work, community, life, and everything in between. The conversations we had gave all of us insights and perspectives, a lot of which helped me grow into a better person. This led me to create a more static forum that I could share on, and people could visit and debate at their convenience.

And that’s why I started writing this newsletter.

Did I Succeed Or Screw Up So Far?

Sustaining this newsletter over the last 2.5 years has been similar to sailing in choppy seas; I’ve felt every single crest and trough along the way. Honestly, there are a few things we have done really well. There has been at least one new issue consistently released every single month since June 2022, when the newsletter started. Some of the issues have allowed me to share truths that I have been scared to admit in the past, such as:

Some of my issues have also been opinionated, which I don’t expect everyone to agree with, but are perspectives I am willing to stand for in the public court of the community:

And then of course, there was this one, the most liked and most “related with” piece of content that I’ve published yet:

At the same time, some issues I have published recently have been subpar because I have forgone storytelling to ensure consistency in pace. It’s helped ensure that the newsletter doesn't go inactive and those issues still create tangible value for readers but they haven’t been up to the standard I strive to achieve.

At the end of the day, the value of a written article is described just as much as by the reader as it is by the writer. While this newsletter was always meant to be a place where I post my opinions unfiltered, I want you folks to keep me honest and grounded. You should comment and call out issues which you feel aren’t meeting the mark. Whether we agree or disagree is a different story, but the conversation should always continue.

(By the way, there is a little poll below that I’d love for you all to participate in.)

What’s Next For This Newsletter

Going forward, I am going to take this newsletter back to its roots. While informative pieces will continue, I intend to write more opinonated pieces, the way it began. I will also be asking for community opinions more often like the past, to feature more voices and thoughts. Our community of readers has some wonderful of insights to offer and you all should be able to have your voices featured in this newsletter.

(The easiest way to share your opinions is to join our WhatsApp community.)

Lastly I want to thank you all for sticking around here. It means more to me than I can express and I really hope to continue creating value for you all in the days, months, and years to come.

Anyone who knows me personally knows how much I love watching football. I have been a Manchester United fan for about 15 years. On a recent trip to Prague, I found myself in a Czech pub with a team member watching the El Clasico among a rather passionate group of FC Barcelona and Real Madrid fans. The environment was absolutely fabulous, by the way, which you can get a glimpse of here:

Whether you enjoy football or not, you can’t deny that football has a special power of bringing people together. As I’ve worked with different communities over the last few years, I’ve realized how similar these two worlds are. The lessons I’ve learned on the field have helped me become better at working with people off the field too. Therefore, in this issue, I will share some powerful lessons football taught me which have helped me build better communities.

Lesson 1: Shared Goals Bring Us Together

In football, every player is driven by the same goal: winning. No matter where you come from or what your role is, the goal unites everyone. Communities are the same. Whether we’re solving a problem, learning something new, or just building meaningful connections, it’s the shared purpose that keeps us working together.

When we focus on what we want to achieve as a group, it becomes easier to set aside differences and move in the same direction.

Lesson 2: Everyone Has Something To Offer

Just like every football team has defenders, midfielders, and strikers, every member of a community brings something valuable to the table. Some bring skills, others offer fresh ideas, and some have a unique perspective that sparks inspiration.

It’s not about being the best at everything—it’s about recognizing that each person’s contribution matters and plays a part in the bigger picture. When people feel valued for what they bring, it creates room for trust and growth.

Lesson 3: Take Ownership Of Your Role

Football players have to know their position on the field and play it well. If someone doesn’t take responsibility, the whole team struggles. The same goes for communities. We need people to own their roles, whether it’s organizing events, leading initiatives, or offering support.

When everyone holds themselves accountable, things run smoothly, and it allows teams and communities to function better, together and individually.

Lesson 4: No One Is Bigger Than The Team

On the field, no one can do it alone—not even the star player. And the same applies to communities. It’s important to understand that everyone plays a role, and no single person is indispensable. If a community depends too heavily on one person, it can create unnecessary pressure and imbalance.

When everyone works with humility, things flow better. The magic happens when we all show up, do our part, and celebrate what we accomplish together.

Lesson 5: Focus On The Long Game

While it’s fun to celebrate small wins—like a victory in a single match—both football and communities need a long-term mindset to thrive. Sometimes, losses teach us more than wins. In the moment, setbacks can feel tough, but they often help us prepare for bigger opportunities.

Whether you’re on the pitch or working with people, it’s essential to think beyond short-term goals and keep the bigger picture in mind.

Lesson 6: Taking Risks Is Part Of The Game

Some of the most exciting moments in football come from bold plays—an unexpected pass, a risky shot on goal. Communities thrive in much the same way. Taking risks and experimenting with new ideas keeps things moving forward. Not every risk will succeed, and that’s okay.

The important thing is to learn from every experience and keep trying. Some of the best outcomes come from taking the leap, even when you’re not sure what will happen.

Lesson 7: Enjoy The Process

The best football players aren’t just talented—they love the game. The same is true of community work. People who enjoy what they do bring energy and joy to those around them. It’s not always easy, but finding moments of fun and meaning along the way makes the effort worthwhile.

At the end of the day, it’s the journey that matters, not just the result. When we enjoy the process, success becomes a natural part of the experience.

Conclusion

Working with communities has felt a lot like being part of a football team. Both require people to come together with a shared goal, bring their unique strengths, and play their part with humility and accountability. Whether you’re building a community or playing on the pitch, it’s about focusing on the long game, constantly working together, taking risks, and enjoying every step along the way.

So, if you find yourself on a football field or in the middle of a community initiative, remember that it’s the people, the process, and the shared experience that truly make the difference.

Therefore, I am sharing a series of “don’ts” to consider if you plan to participate in Hacktoberfest this year.

Don’ts for Hacktoberfest 2024 ❌

There are many intricacies to consider when it comes to Hacktoberfest and open source; however, these are some of the most important points to remember before submitting pull requests (PRs) over the next month.

1. Don’t try to contribute to every project you come across

Too many people rush into every random project they find on GitHub to get their minimum PRs for the Hacktoberfest prizes. But that doesn't help anyone. Hacktoberfest is all about getting open-source projects the visibility and support they need. The best way to make an impact is by selecting projects you use, are genuinely interested in, or align with your skills and passion. Contributing to projects you care about will be more fulfilling and increase the quality of your contributions.

2. Don’t rush to contribute before understanding the project

Take the time to thoroughly read the documentation, understand the project’s purpose, and explore the codebase. Many repositories have contribution guidelines in their README.md or a CONTRIBUTING.md file to clarify the project’s tech stack and processes. This will help you contribute more effectively and avoid mistakes.

3. Avoid low-quality or spam PRs

Following the previous point, please avoid submitting PRs that add no objective value to a project. The way to differentiate between objective and subjective contributions is whether they create value for everyone in the community or just a specific group. For example, fixing grammatical mistakes in documentation is objectively valuable, but forcefully adding comments to a code file is not.

4. Don’t target larger issues before tackling smaller ones

There is no point in taking up the largest issue in the project as your first issue, confusing yourself along the way, and giving up on open-source contributions if you're new. If you're new, start by fixing simple bugs or documentation improvements. Many projects will have issues labeled “good-first-issue” for this purpose. You can find these on goodfirstissue.dev or up-for-grabs.net. Once you're comfortable, you can move on to larger, more complex contributions.

5. No AI-generated PRs, please!

Now that LLM tools such as ChatGPT, Claude, Copilot, etc., are freely accessible, some developers solely use them to generate PRs automatically. Such PRs often contain mistakes that could have been mitigated with a single review and only waste the maintainers’ time. Using AI tools is usually all right, but please ensure that you also review the output of these tools and make edits wherever necessary before pushing them forward.

6. Don't barge into issues assigned already

Many projects have issues that have already been assigned to someone else. Before starting work on an issue, make sure to check if it is available and comment to be assigned (otherwise, you could end up repeating someone else’s work). Remember, there’s plenty of work to go around for every person in the community, whether around code, documentation, maintenance, etc.

7. Don't disregard feedback sent your way

The beauty of open source is that you could end up collaborating with people from drastically different places, walks of life, or knowledge levels. You never know whether the person you’re working with is a freshman student making their first contribution or a veteran software engineer who wrote their first code before you were born. If someone gives you feedback on your pull request, respond to the same humbly and make changes accordingly.

8. Don’t submit PRs to ineligible repositories

In the last couple of years, a Hacktoberfest opt-in/out mechanism has been created. If you’re contributing to a repository primarily for Hacktoberfest, check if the repository has the “hacktoberfest” topic or if the issue has the “hacktoberfest” label to confirm eligibility. Please do not expect or force the maintainers to make a certain PR eligible if you contributed to an opted-out project/issue.

9. Don't participate solely for the rewards

This is the most important point, in my opinion. Hacktoberfest is about meaningful contributions, not just receiving a free digital badge or any other piece of swag. You have a chance to support some of the most heavily used and impactful software in the world! Aim to contribute to open-source projects where your input makes a difference rather than rushing PRs for the sake of a reward that you will forget in a few weeks.

Going forward 🛣️

These were some of the points I wanted to remind folks about before they make their contributions to OSS this Hacktoberfest. I wish you all the very best for the upcoming month!

P.S., I am organizing a Hacktoberfest hackathon for the Appwrite community, which is open to anyone interested in learning about Appwrite and building a cool project. If you support an organization in its Hacktoberfest initiatives, please share them with our community.

My journey in DevRel has been an absolute roller coaster ride since, with lots of ups and downs and a few loops around, but one that I have thoroughly enjoyed! I have had a number of learnings, some of which I would love to share with you all today.

Major learnings I’ve had in DevRel 🥑

Before we further, if you are unaware of what DevRel really is, please consider giving the following article a read:

Learning 1: Understand that you are a part of a business

Most bystanders who notice and comment about DevRel don’t realise that Developer Relations isn't just about fostering community and creating engaging content; it requires aligning with and supporting your company's broader goals. I have to be mindful of how every action and initiative I take contributes to tangible business outcomes, such as user acquisition, retention, or product feedback loops. This also means that I can’t hide away from the workings of your Engineering, Marketing, Product, and Sales teams.

It requires a strategic mindset, where you're always thinking about the bigger picture, about how your efforts as a DevRel professional can help the company grow and succeed. To better understand what I mean, take a look at the Developer Advocate iceberg created by Wassim Chegham (read his blog).

Learning 2: It’s necessary to grow out of the little leagues (a.k.a. student communities)

Starting in student communities was a great way for me to build foundational skills in DevRel, such as public speaking, content creation, and community management. However, moving beyond these early experiences was just as crucial to grow professionally.

Engaging with more seasoned developers and industry professionals presents new challenges and learning opportunities. It pushes you to elevate your game, develop deeper technical knowledge, and refine your communication skills. This growth isn't just about moving away from student communities but expanding your horizons to include more diverse and complex developer needs. It's about evolving from a mentor for students to a trusted advisor for professional developers, who are the primary customers for most of us.

I wrote a more focused piece about the same:

Learning 3: Get your hands dirty with the tech

In DevRel, credibility comes from being hands-on with the technology you endorse. I can't effectively advocate for Appwrite if I haven't used it myself, experienced its strengths and pain points, and understood its potential from a developer's perspective.

This requires a willingness to dive deep into the tech, experiment, build, and sometimes break things to understand them better. By getting your hands dirty, you can provide more authentic insights, write better tutorials, and offer more valuable support to the community. It’s about being a practitioner as much as an advocate, bridging the gap between product teams and developers with firsthand experience.

I have better explained how DevRel professionals can further support their Engineering team if they possess this knowledge here:

Learning 4: Social media isn’t the only way

A lot of early DevRel professionals and teams put substantial emphasis on social media as a primary channel for engagement. While it is a valuable tool, I learned that it’s not the only way to connect with the community. Real engagement happens through various channels: meetups, conferences, webinars, blogs, forums, and even one-on-one conversations. Social media can enable initial awareness, but it doesn't create deeper, meaningful relationships.

Therefore, it is necessary to diversify your approach to outreach to your community, using a mix of online and offline methods to reach developers more impactfully.

Learning 5: You don’t have the luxury of keeping enemies

The tech world is a small, interconnected community, and in DevRel, maintaining good relationships is crucial. I’ve learned that in DevRel, there’s no room for grudges or enemies. Every relationship matters, whether it’s with community members, other DevRel professionals, or colleagues. You never know when you might need to collaborate or when someone from your past might cross your path again.

It isn't about avoiding conflict but rather handling disagreements professionally and respectfully, understanding that today’s rival might be tomorrow’s collaborator.

Learning 6: Hold your opinions with kindness

In a field that involves a lot of public interaction and community engagement, the way you communicate matters immensely (also keeping the previous learning in mind). I remember how easy it could be to be passionate and outspoken, even brash sometimes. Over time, I realized that holding my opinions with kindness was far more effective because it forced me to plan my communication more. Being thoughtful and constructive in my feedback helped build trust and foster a more inclusive community environment.

In DevRel, where you're often seen as a representative of the company, it's crucial to balance honesty with empathy, recognize the impact your words can have, and ensure that your communications build bridges rather than walls.

Learning 7: Don’t forget your health, it’s important

DevRel can be demanding, with constant travel, events, and community management, which can lead to burnout if not carefully managed. I learned the hard way that I needed to prioritize my health, both mentally and physically. Setting boundaries, taking breaks, and ensuring I didn’t overextend myself have become crucial practices for my sustainability.

Taking care of your well-being is not just about personal health but also about being at your best for your community and your company. It’s a reminder that while work is important, it’s not everything.

Learning 8: Carry out the trash when needed

DevRel isn’t always glamorous. There will be times when you need to handle the less exciting tasks, whether it’s moderating a forum, responding to repetitive queries, managing logistics for an event, or literally taking out the trash after that event concludes.

Embracing these tasks with a positive attitude is part of being a team player and contributing to the overall success of the team. It shows that you’re willing to do whatever it takes to support the community and the company. It’s about having the humility to do the small things, knowing that they are essential to the bigger picture.

Learning 9: Evolve or die

The tech industry is one of constant evolution, and staying relevant requires continuous learning and adaptation. In DevRel, this means not only keeping up with the latest technologies and trends but also evolving your strategies and approaches to community engagement.

We did not have platforms like Discord or Slack being used for communities 10 years ago. The hype of meetup groups from pre-COVID times isn’t close to the same today. Social media engagement and short-form content consumption (TikTok, YouTube Shorts, Instagram Reels) are at an all-time high.

This adaptability allows you to stay effective and continue adding value even as the landscape shifts. It reminds you that stagnation is not an option.

Learning 10: We take care of our own

The DevRel world is a very small world. It can be a demanding and sometimes isolating field, where challenges are unique and not always understood by those outside the role. Supporting each other, sharing experiences, and offering advice has been incredibly valuable. I realized that we're all in this together, facing similar obstacles and striving towards common goals, whether it's community engagement, advocating for developers, or aligning our efforts with business objectives.

Building a strong network of DevRel professionals has been essential for my growth. It’s about reaching out, sharing knowledge, and being there for one another in both good times and challenging ones. Encouraging and uplifting each other helps create a stronger, more resilient DevRel community. It really does create a win-win for everyone.

The journey onwards 🛣️

Looking back, my journey over the past three years has been filled with countless moments and invaluable lessons that have shaped who I am today, both as a DevRel professional and as a person. This makes me feel very excited about my future in the developer community. Honestly, I don’t know how the world of tech will proceed in the years to come. However, I will say, I’m ready to take on whatever challenge may come my way in the days forward.

Hey everyone 👋
Hope you’re all doing well!

Honestly, with this month’s issue, I was going to discuss how DevRel teams use AI in their workflows or whether the community-led growth model is legitimate in the newsletter. However, my work schedule this month has been a little ultra-intensive to the point where, unfortunately, it was not possible for me to write a properly researched article.

That said, this is a great opportunity for us to pause, reflect, and ask you all how the newsletter feels to you. It’s been over 2 years since we’ve been posting an issue every month I’d really love to take a moment with this one and learn what y’all think. I have 4 questions that I’d really love for y’all to answer if that sounds alright 👇

Answer these 4 questions :)

With that said, I have 2 other updates that I would love to discuss with you folks.

New community on WhatsApp 👨‍👩‍👧‍👦

I’m excited to share that we now have a community setup on WhatsApp for another random community! Now, whether we have updates regarding the newsletter or random community convos, this community will be our “one-stop shop” for folks reading the newsletter.

Join the WhatsApp community

Inviting guest writers 📝

We would love guest writers to contribute to the newsletter, especially if someone likes to write about tech, communities, DevRel, mental health, and so on. There are certain values that we will look for in the content:

• The content must carry your opinions and be unafraid. While we respect diplomacy, we encourage blunt honesty, even if it means disagreeing with the world.

• The content must be substantiated by experiences, statistics, or other means. We want to maintain a certain level of depth while preventing blanket statements.

• The content must educate. Voices are important, but they must carry some purpose.

If you have what it takes, please fill out our questionnaire 👇

Want to become a guest writer?

Thank you, once again ❤️

Thank you so much to all of you for being active readers of this newsletter! I did not realise that we had crossed 2 years until it was pointed out to me by a friend, but I am very grateful to everyone who joined us along the way. We hope to continue writing, sharing opinions, creating discussions, and learning from everyone in the times to come.

Take care, everyone, and I hope to see you in the WhatsApp community 🫶

With warm regards,
Aditya Oberai

However, while many of these folks have been attending meetups for a while now, not everyone has been exposed to how a meetup is organized. Since I’ve actively organized tech community meetups for over five years, I thought of this as the perfect forum to share, especially since we have already shared a hackathon organizing guide.

Therefore, in this newsletter, I will share my three-step process for organizing a community meetup.

Step 1: Review the prerequisites 📝

Before planning a community meetup, I ask myself three important questions. These questions form the core philosophy behind your community meetup.

• Why are you catering?

The first question we should ask ourselves is why we are organizing a meetup and what our purpose is. And we have to be honest with ourselves. If our purpose has anything to do with FOMO or the fact that others also organize meetups, we must stop right there. If there is a real and tangible gain for ourselves and our audience, we proceed to the next question.

• Who are you catering to?

The next question is who the meetup is catered to. This question defines the end goals, which could vary significantly based on the audience’s persona. Whether our audience includes college students, professional developers, startup founders, or any other persona, we must ensure that we create value for them.

• What are you catering?

Finally, once we understand our purpose and audience, we decide what kind of meetup experience we want to cater. This could include multiple lecture-style talks, learn-and-build workshops, wine-and-dine mixers (of course, the wine isn’t mandatory), or any other format we deem necessary. But we must ensure that we are clear about our experience before we start planning things out.

Step 2: Planning the meetup 🛠️

Once we are through with the prerequisites, it’s time to plan the meetup. For that, there are a few areas you must cover:

• Build a functioning organizing team

Ideally, for any meetup, we want a team of committed individuals with diverse skills, including logistics, marketing, and technical expertise. A mix of experience levels (low and high) is fine, but they must believe in the purpose. And keep the team lean; too many cooks really spoil the broth.

• Define an agenda

Next, we define an agenda based on the kind of event. For example, if we organize a conventional lecture-style meetup, our agenda should include the start and end times, key sessions, breaks, and networking opportunities. We also need to ensure that the session content is valuable and appropriate for the audience it is catered to. For this, we may also need to onboard speakers outside the organizing team.

• Secure a venue

The next big step is to secure an easily accessible venue with ample space, appropriate seating arrangements, and AV (Audio-Visual) facilities such as mics, projectors, screens, and speakers. The other big logistical challenge is ordering enough food and beverages. We need to order a substantial enough quantity of food while accommodating dietary restrictions (I default to vegetarian options for this reason). Based on the kind of event and audience, we can charge a per-person fee to cover food or onboard a sponsor(s).

• Onboard relevant sponsors

For various requirements, we may need to onboard sponsors to the event. Sponsorship is essentially sales, so the best way to capture a sponsor is by quantifying the potential impact you can generate for the prospective sponsor to showcase their potential ROI (Return On Investment). The easiest ways to impact a sponsor are by increasing their brand awareness, helping them discover talent to hire, or offering a testing and feedback loop for their products. Always ensure that the sponsor is relevant to the content of the event.

• Prepare the promotional designs and content

Once all our logistics are complete, we are ready to open our event. However, we also need promotional collateral (designs and copywriting) to ensure we can set up our registration form and market the event. Additionally, if you plan to offer attendees any swag, merchandise, or gifts, those must also be designed.

• Create a form for attendee registrations

Finally, we are ready to onboard attendees to the event. To make our lives easier, we can use an online platform like Luma, Eventbrite, or Meetup.com for attendee management. We can also create a custom registration form to collect attendee information. Ensure that any essential information for both organizers and sponsors is collected, including (but not limited to) names, email addresses, job titles, company names, social media profiles, and any specific interests or dietary requirements.

• Market the event

Marketing the event is the final step before the day of the event, but it really can make or break your meetup. We can use social media, collaborate with other communities, cross-post with our sponsors, and leverage word-of-mouth among our peer groups. Also, if you’re not charging people to attend, expect a churn rate (30-40% is standard, at least in cities like New Delhi and Bengaluru).

Step 3: Executing on D-Day 🪄

And just like that, with the hustle and bustle of all the preparation, we reach the day of the event. Now, in all honesty, there’s very little you can actually do at this point. So, instead of a set of tasks, I keep some guidelines to follow.

• Ensure a safe environment

Our meetups must always offer a safe environment for every stakeholder, whether they are participants, volunteers, organizers, or sponsors. A code of conduct can go a really long way to help here. A wonderful example is the Hack Code of Conduct.

• Expect everything to go wrong

The truth about meetups and events is that sometimes, shit happens! I’ve had 40 people turn up for an event with 150+ registrations, food delivery turn up 2 hours late, a speaker forget that they were supposed to join and happen to be in a different city, and countless other issues. And all of this can happen despite proper planning. So, ensure that there is always a backup plan.

• Pick up the trash

One piece of advice that I received when working as a Coach at Major League Hacking is that you are never too big to get your hands dirty. When it comes to our meetups, it’s imperative that we keep our egos aside and help get the job done (no matter how big or small it seems).

• Stay open to feedback

The truth about meetups is that no matter how experienced we might be, we all still make mistakes sometimes (my mess-ups still haunt me on some days). Always be willing to listen and learn from the people who are participating in the meetups. Sometimes, this yields the best advice and suggestions we can hope for.

• Keep breathing

There is no denying that running meetups is hard. They have many moving parts and unpredictable components, and they constantly induce panic and anxiety. The best thing we can do is stay calm and patient. Solve enough problems as they come, and we will survive and thrive.

Going forward 🛣️

That’s about it for my meetup organizing handbook. If this convinces you to organize your first meetup, I would love to hear more from you. Beyond that, I am more than happy to take suggestions and keep improving these thoughts and advice as I learn and mature as an organizer. Until then, I hope this guide will create some value for the readers.

Therefore, in this issue, I’ll discuss what burnout is and how someone can catch and deal with it.

What does “burnout“ mean? 🌡️

The first step to surviving burnout is understanding what it even means. The World Health Organization (WHO) defines it as

Burn-out is a syndrome conceptualized as resulting from chronic workplace stress that has not been successfully managed. It is characterized by three dimensions:

• feelings of energy depletion or exhaustion;

• increased mental distance from one’s job, or feelings of negativism or cynicism related to one's job; and

• reduced professional efficacy.

For example, if you’ve had a sustained phase of overworking at your job to the point where you have been working long hours without taking breaks, constantly feel overwhelmed by your workload, experience physical and emotional exhaustion, struggle to concentrate on tasks, can’t maintain a positive attitude to your work, and despite achieving everything necessary, still feel like you’ve not made progress, you are experiencing a severe case of burnout.

Symptoms of burnout

Burnout presents with various symptoms, some of which are:

• Feeling drained and emotionally exhausted: This is often the hallmark of burnout, where individuals feel like they have no more energy to give.

• Sense of ineffectiveness and lack of accomplishment: Individuals often feel that no matter what they do, it isn’t enough, or their work doesn't have the impact it used to.

• Tiredness and lack of energy: Even after resting or taking a break, you may still feel tired.

• Changes in appetite or eating habits: This could include eating more or less than usual.

• Sleep disturbances: This might include trouble falling asleep (insomnia) or sleeping too much.

• Isolation from others: Pulling away and isolating oneself from coworkers, friends, and family.

• Increased mental distance from one’s job: This detachment can make a person feel less interested and less committed to their work.

There could be a number of other symptoms but these happen to be some of the more common ones. However, that’s not where the story ends.

Consequences of burnout

Understanding how burnout presents itself is one side of the coin; the consequence of not managing it is the other. There are several consequences that burnout tends to lead to, such as:

• Decreased productivity and efficiency: Burnout can lead to lower work output, more mistakes, and generally poor performance.

• Development of physical health issues: Burnout can contribute to problems like headaches, gastrointestinal disorders, muscle tension, fatigue, and significant changes in appetite.

• Onset of mental health problems: Burnout is often associated with mental health challenges, including depression, anxiety, and a decreased sense of self-worth.

• Emotional exhaustion and detachment: Those experiencing burnout frequently feel emotionally drained, less attached to their pursuits, and find their personal accomplishments less satisfying.

• Career dissatisfaction and changes: Persistent burnout can make individuals reconsider their career choices, which may lead to job turnover or a complete career change.

• Strained personal and professional relationships: Irritability, lack of patience, and withdrawal can harm relationships with family, friends, and colleagues.

• Social isolation: People with burnout may isolate themselves, worsening their emotional state and relationship health.

Truthfully, the effects of these consequences scale over time, and it is vastly better to catch and curb them earlier rather than later.

Dealing with burnout 💭

While the consequences of burnout can be particularly scary, there are various methods for dealing with it.

Some changes you can make on a personal level would include:

• Setting a structured routine: Develop a daily routine that you can follow, whether that includes your meals, work, recreational time, or anything else you’d like to add. The structure will create space for you to take a break and rest.

• Engaging in activities outside of work: Participate in hobbies and interests that you find fulfilling and enjoyable, which can improve your mood and reduce stress.

• Seeking support from friends and family: Sharing your feelings with others can provide emotional relief and strengthen your support network.

• Speaking with a mental health professional: They can provide strategies for managing stress better and dealing with the underlying issues contributing to burnout.

Additionally, some professional changes you can make are:

• Setting boundaries: Defining clear limits between work and personal life and making changes such as turning off Discord or Slack notifications post-work.

• Sharing workload with team: Work with your colleagues and managers to distribute workloads more evenly and ensure everyone's work-life balance is respected.

• Making adjustments to workplace: Discuss potential job modifications with your employer, such as flexible work hours or remote work options to help manage stress and workload.

• Having a more balanced workstyle: Take regular breaks throughout the day to prevent mental fatigue. Longer breaks or vacations can significantly reduce stress and refresh your perspective.

The road going forward 🛣️

The important change you will need to make is learning to say no. None of the other efforts will sustain if you won’t say no to others for your well-being. At the end of the day, we have to live with ourselves and for ourselves. As long as you can convince yourself to do that, you will be able to maintain a healthy and sustainable lifestyle.

Lately, however, I have observed lots of people attending meetups for the purpose of education. Unfortunately, among all the things meetups enable, “education” is not always the outcome. This is an opinionated statement, of course. However, it is the one I shall discuss in our issue today.

What meetups can and cannot enable

Before I can explain my perspective, I must demonstrate what the standard tech community meetup looks like. In my experience so far, the following structure encompasses the majority of tech meetups today:

• Upto 4 sessions (talks, presentations, panels, etc.), each ranging from 25 to 45 minutes in duration

• A shared meal

• Meet-and-greet networking time

Most tech meetups follow a similar structure as the one mentioned above.

In this sort of structure, a meetup can enable the following:

• Interaction and networking between attendees

• Conversations and discussions on the theme

• Demonstration of projects and solutions

• Awareness of new technical concepts

There is no doubt that these are all wonderful outcomes. However, meetups are not without their drawbacks. Here is what a meetup cannot enable:

• Deeper investigation into the tech (constrained by time and context)

• Practical experience in implementing the tech (constrained by pedagogy)

Both the points mentioned are necessary when we talk about technical education. You see unless a meetup is structured in the style of a workshop, focusing on one specific concept from start to end, featuring theory and implementation alike. However, when most people think they have learned something from a meetup, they often confuse awareness with education.

Education vs awareness, what’s the difference?

In the context of meetups, awareness and education are similar concepts but serve different purposes and involve different depths of engagement and understanding.

The main goal of awareness is to make people conscious or informed about an issue, concept, or fact. It’s about bringing attention to something and generally involves a basic level of understanding. It’s more about exposure to information rather than deep comprehension. An example is my talk on building AI-enabled apps with .NET MAUI and Azure AI Vision, which touches on the fundamentals of both these technologies and opens up new possibilities. Meetups will almost always enable awareness by this definition.

Education aims to provide detailed knowledge and skills through structured teaching. It’s focused not just on knowledge but also on understanding, application, and analysis. Education involves a deeper level of engagement with content, often including theories, principles, practices, and hands-on learning. An example is my talk on building a calculator app with Xamarin.Forms, featuring an end-to-end live-coding experience to showcase more of the nitty-gritty of the technology. Meetups will almost never enable education by this definition.

Please note that these differences do not indiciate whether one is more important than the other. They both have their own significance and necessity.

Are meetups worth your time?

With this, the question that now arises is whether meetups are worth attending or not. Unfortunately, most meetups will not make the cut if your primary need is education. You’re better off reading a book, reviewing documentation, and working on a side project.

If that primary need changes to networking, awareness, or engagement, meetups are still very valuable. At the end of the day, it comes down to your purpose at a meetup. However, please ensure that your reasons are right, lest you waste your time seeking the wrong outcome, even with the correct set of people.

I thought I’d feel bad about letting student communities go, but I did not. Further introspection showed that this happened for some excellent reasons, on the other hand. Therefore, in this issue, I want to share why it might be a good idea for early career professionals to move away from student communities and forums.

Disclaimer: This article is not an anti-student community piece. Student communities are valid and greatly benefit if you are still in college/university.

How do the benefits of student communities diminish? 👀

As you graduate from college and become a professional, it is necessary to remember where the benefits of student communities start diminishing or entirely stop. For myself, I observed this decrease through the following:

• Lack of deeper knowledge

  • Basic or general tech knowledge in student communities might not be enough, as you may seek more specialized information simply because your knowledge requirements have evolved.

  • Those working on cutting-edge technologies or in niche fields might find the discussions in student communities too broad or insufficient.

• Limited professional development

  • While student-focused groups are great for peer support and mentorship opportunities at the start of a career, professionals might seek mentors with more specific expertise or experience as they advance.

  • Opportunities for career growth, such as leadership roles, challenging projects, or significant collaborations, might be more readily found or facilitated outside of these communities.

• Mismatch in context and goals

  • As your short-term context switches and goals change, you might find the relatively introductory topics and discussions in student communities less relevant.

  • While student communities offer a rather handy initial network, you may need to network with more experienced professionals who will not be present in these communities.

• Lack of deeper industry insights

  • As professionals progress, understanding industry-specific regulations, standards, and practices becomes crucial, which tends not to be a priority in most student communities.

  • Developing a deeper understanding of business strategies, operations, and financial principles might be necessary for career advancement at your workplace and beyond, which student communities may not cover extensively.

• Limited scaling of personal network

  • Connecting with a broader and more diverse network beyond the academic or early-career stage is beneficial.

  • Professionals aiming for a global impact or understanding might need networks that offer a wider geographical and cultural reach than student-focused communities typically provide (online communities can be exceptional to an extent here).

What can early career professionals do instead? 🤔

Early career professionals can take several proactive steps to mitigate the limitations of student-focused tech communities as they advance in their careers. Here are strategies to ensure continuous growth and development:

• Join professional associations and attend industry conferences: These can offer advanced knowledge, resources, and networking opportunities with seasoned professionals in your field while providing insights into the latest trends, technologies, and best practices.

• Participate in specialized online forums: Online forums and platforms focused on specific technologies or industry sectors can provide deeper discussions and learning opportunities. Platforms like Stack Overflow, Reddit, GitHub, and Discord may feature several such forums.

• Find appropriate mentors: Seek mentors with specific expertise and experience that align with your career aspirations. This is a commonly offered advice but often very effective.

• Offer to mentor others: Teaching and mentoring others can also deepen your understanding and establish you as a knowledgeable professional in your community.

  

• Take advanced courses and professional certifications: Enroll in courses that offer advanced knowledge or specialization in areas relevant to your career growth. In certain domains, professional certifications substantially help to validate your expertise, making you more attractive to employers and collaborators.

• Engage in discussions and publish your knowledge: Actively participate in discussions, share your insights, and ask questions in both online and offline professional communities. Write articles and blogs or present webinars on topics you are knowledgeable about. Sharing your expertise can help you establish credibility and authority in your field.

• Use social media wisely: Platforms like LinkedIn and Twitter / X can be invaluable for connecting with industry professionals, joining professional groups, and sharing your achievements.

• Network outside of tech: Don’t limit your networking to tech-only spaces. Interdisciplinary connections can offer unique perspectives and opportunities.

Should you entirely stay away from student communities after graduating? 🛣️

No, graduating from college is not the end of your road with student communities. However, it is important to recognize that you can’t join student communities anymore unless you grow and evolve. The best way to do that is to move forward and get into the rooms where you’re close to the smartest or the most experienced and then bring those learnings back to these circles. Balancing your roots in student communities as you venture out to wider professional circles will ensure a rich, continuous development journey for you in the days to come.