I remember saying to a few friends in December, while scrolling through everyone’s end-of-year posts on social media, that mine was probably just going to be one sentence:

“I came, I saw, I survived.”

But when I finally sat down to reflect on the year, I realized there were actually things worth writing about. Not because the year was shiny or impressive, but because it was real. Messy. Clarifying. And quietly transformative in ways I didn’t recognize while I was living through it.

My theme for 2025 was Growth and Renewal. At the time, I imagined momentum, visible progress, and a sense of forward motion. I wanted to learn new skills, grow professionally, upgrade myself, and expand into different parts of my life — career, creativity, faith, personal development. What I got instead was a year that forced me to slow down, confront myself, and rethink how I move through life, work, faith, and ambition.

How the Year Actually Felt

For a large part of the year, I was in survival mode. A lot of my energy went into making sure I was okay — financially, mentally, physically. I worked because I had to, not because I was inspired or excited. The alternative wasn’t rest or freedom; it was instability. I was juggling multiple projects as a freelancer, and over time it became clear this way of working wasn’t sustainable for me anymore.

That reality shaped many of my decisions. It limited how much creativity I could access and how present I could be in other parts of my life. There were moments when it felt like nothing was moving — like I was busy, but not progressing. Looking back now, I can see that what was happening wasn’t stagnation. It was recalibration.

Wins, Misses, and the Space Between

I did have wins this year. I made progress with my finances, found more stability in my work by securing a full-time role, explored new professional directions, and brought a startup idea to life far enough to test it in the real world. I also finally addressed a long-standing health issue I had been postponing, which alone made the year worthwhile.

At the same time, there were many things I didn’t follow through on. Creative plans stalled. Social goals didn’t fully materialize. Some ambitions I was excited about at the beginning of the year quietly faded as reality set in.

For a long time, I saw this as failure. But with distance, I realized that many of those “misses” came from the same place: I was carrying too much. Too many expectations. Too many ideas. Too many directions at once.

The Weight of Too Many Ideas

One of the biggest lessons this year taught me was that not every idea needs full structure.

I get excited by ideas easily. I want to build, shape, and give form to them quickly. But excitement doesn’t always mean readiness. Sometimes it’s just curiosity, hype, or a temporary spark. This year, I turned too many ideas into serious commitments without fully thinking through whether I had the capacity — time, energy, emotional bandwidth — to carry them.

The result was overwhelm. Too many things pulling at me at once. And eventually, I found myself doing very little of any of them well.

Letting go of that mindset — the pressure to formalize every idea and chase every spark — was a form of renewal I didn’t know I needed.

Faith, Questions, and Honest Following

Spiritually, this year stretched me in uncomfortable ways. I questioned God a lot. I fought with Him. I struggled with the idea of following blindly, especially when I couldn’t understand why — why we exist, what all of this is for, and what my purpose in all of this was. At times, those questions left me feeling deeply depressed and disconnected.

For a long time, I thought questioning my faith meant I was doing something wrong. But this year taught me that having questions isn’t a bad thing — it’s human. It’s honest. Faith without questions isn’t strength; it’s often just silence.

At some point this year, I wanted to leave. To walk away completely. Too many things happened, and too much hurt. But even in my anger and confusion, it became hard to deny the quiet ways God showed up — through provision, opportunities, and moments that reminded me I wasn’t abandoned.

I still don’t have all the answers. I may never fully understand the point of everything. But I’ve stopped pretending to be fine or certain. I’ve stopped forcing myself to follow blindly just to look faithful. I’ve chosen honesty over performance — choosing to ask questions instead of suppressing them, and to wrestle openly instead of pretending everything makes sense. I’ll keep showing up, not because I have clarity, but because pretending never helps.

What Growth and Renewal Looked Like

Growth this year didn’t look like expansion. It looked like boundaries. It looked like learning what I can’t sustain, and admitting that some versions of productivity and ambition no longer work for me.

Growth also meant letting go. It meant cutting off people and interactions that were no longer good for me or aligned with who I’m becoming. It meant accepting that some things — no matter how much effort I put in — were simply not going to work out. Plans changed. Priorities shifted.

Renewal didn’t come from doing more. It came from simplifying, pruning, and allowing myself to stop forcing things that weren’t aligned with my current reality. Instead of trying to make old versions of my life fit, I learned to release them.

And maybe that’s what this year was always meant to be.

Looking Ahead

As I move into the next year, I’m carrying clarity with me. My theme for the coming year is Build — build my health, my finances, my career, and the things I create. But build intentionally. Fewer things. Better foundations. Less pressure to prove anything. More space to actually live.

2025 didn’t give me everything I wanted. But it gave me perspective. And that’s something I’ll keep.

Here’s a short poem that sums up the truest part of this year:

Some days I wanted to disappear.
Some days I didn't want to be here.
Then I remembered the things I haven't done yet.
So I stayed.
One more day.
Then another.
This year did not break me.
It forced me to choose what comes next.
Next year, I build.

Staying was the first thing I built this year. Next year, I build everything else.

Originally published at tech.timonwa.com

As I sit down to write my third annual year in review, I find myself taking a different approach. Rather than focusing on achievements and goals, I want to share the deeper lessons and experiences that shaped my 2024 journey. Perhaps my story will resonate with others walking similar paths.

The Joy in Simple Moments

One of my biggest wins this year was celebrating my birthday on July 7th with genuine happiness—something I hadn’t experienced in years. I was fearful my birthday would come with the sadness it often brings, but this time, I experienced genuine joy throughout the day. I celebrated with my family at a fancy restaurant. Even though my dad wasn’t there, the day was filled with love and gratitude. I also gave back to friends in a small, thoughtful way, something I did last year, and I am considering making a birthday tradition.

A Quiet Victory

In past years, certain people in my life served as a crucial support system during tough times, helping me cope and move forward. This year, however, I found that I didn’t rely on anyone for emotional or mental support—and that was a win for me. While the year wasn’t without its struggles, realising that I handled things on my own marked a significant step in my personal growth and resilience.

Along the way, I’ve also come to understand that some friends may not be part of our lives forever. Some people are with us for seasons, offering support and guidance when we need it most, and that’s okay—their impact remains meaningful even if temporary. And with God’s strength seeing me through, it showed me that I could handle things on my own now—a quiet victory demonstrating how far I’ve come.

The Struggle to Find Purpose

One of my biggest revelations this year was understanding why I struggled with motivation. For the past couple of years, I always felt unmotivated, uncertain, and disconnected from my goals or duties. I often joked to myself that even the fear of sapa (a Yoruba word for poverty) wasn’t enough to motivate me to keep going. It wasn’t just about being lazy or procrastinating – it was about lacking a clear sense of purpose. I was working on things without truly understanding why I wanted to do them in the first place. This realisation made me understand that without a “why,” even the most carefully planned “how” falls apart.

I’m still searching for my purpose, but I know that God has been guiding me through this process. I’m now learning to take charge of my future again, while still being open to His guidance.

The Challenge of Restarting

One of the hardest lessons I learned is that taking a break from something – whether it’s exercise, social activities, or creative pursuits – makes it incredibly difficult to start again. I experienced this in various aspects of my life this year. Even when the desire to resume is strong, rebuilding momentum feels like pushing against a mountain. However, I discovered that the hardest part isn’t starting – it’s restarting after a pause. Once I managed to get started again and maintain discipline, continuing became much easier.

Lessons from Monotony

Doing the same thing over and over again can feel exhausting, especially when it seems like there are no visible results. This feeling of monotony can really undermine motivation, making you wonder why you’re putting in so much effort when the results don’t come. But pushing through those feelings is crucial—it’s about consistency and trusting that the process will eventually pay off.

Also, setting milestones to celebrate small wins and regularly reconnecting with the purpose behind that commitment can help maintain momentum even when the journey feels repetitive.

The Importance of Visibility

This year also reminded me how important visibility is, especially in the digital world. As I became less active online, I realised that I was slowly being forgotten. In the past, being present on platforms like LinkedIn and Twitter has led to job inquiries and opportunities. My absence resulted in a missed chance to be seen or recognised, reinforcing the value of consistency and maintaining an online presence.

Setting Focused Goals

I also learned that trying to juggle multiple goals at once is draining and unproductive. Focusing on one goal at a time for each area of life can lead to better results without feeling overwhelmed. I’ve learned that effective time management and sticking to a set schedule are key to productivity. For instance, using tools like TickTick and Simplenote has really helped me stay organised, ensuring that I focus on one task at a time without distractions.

Managing Setbacks with Resilience

Throughout the year, I faced setbacks, whether in job applications, personal goals, or opportunities. One of the biggest lessons I learned is the importance of managing expectations. When things don’t go as planned, it’s easy to get disheartened. But instead of letting setbacks derail me, I learned that I need to keep moving forward, learning from each experience, and building resilience in the face of challenges.

Adaptability in Changing Plans

Lastly, I’ve realised that plans often don’t go as expected, and that’s okay. The ability to adapt and work around changes is key to moving forward. While plans are important, flexibility in how we approach them is just as vital. Life is unpredictable, and being open to change ensures that we remain on track, even when the path isn’t as we initially envisioned.

Looking Forward with Hope

Despite the challenges, one thing remained constant throughout 2024: I woke up each day with hope. Even in moments of deep sadness or when I spent days in bed, I never lost the belief that tomorrow could be better. This resilience, I believe, is my greatest achievement this year.

In Conclusion

I hope my experiences help you in your own journey. If anything, know that it’s okay to struggle, it’s okay to take your time, and it’s okay to change course. We are all learning as we go; the most important thing is to keep going.

As I step into 2025, I carry these lessons with me. While I may not have achieved every goal I set, the growth and self-discovery I experienced are invaluable. Sometimes, the years that teach us the most are the ones where we achieve the least on paper.

What stands out most to me is that through it all – the quiet moments, the challenges, and the small victories – God’s faithfulness remained constant. And perhaps that’s the greatest lesson of all.

Looking to plan and achieve your goals for the year? Check out the Yearly Goals Planner and Tracker! Set meaningful goals, break them into milestones, and reflect on your progress with ease. Perfect for staying focused and turning your ambitions into results.

A Quest for Knowledge

As I sit here, lost in thought, I can't help but wonder about everything. I mean everything - from before time to now. Not because I want to be god-like, but just to know. To learn how things were, see the truth, and understand history. After all, history is only the victor's narrative; the person with the power dictates it.

But what happens after I know it all? Will I be happy? Will I be sad? Will I be so full of knowledge that I will run mad? Or will it leave me feeling empty? Will I still have the will to live, or will I be disinterested in life?

How long would this even take? Would the price be death? Would I be in a coma for the enlightenment? Or will everything just be a dream of the night?

And then there's the question of privacy. If I knew everything, I would want to keep it to myself. I want to know for my own curiosity and to understand the truth. No one would believe me anyway. Imagine saying that the sky is green while everyone else sees blue. And they ask me to prove it. What do I say?

Even so, how can I confirm that what I know is the truth and not just a mirage? How can I be sure that this is what actually happened and not some cosmic being playing tricks on me, twisting it because of my thirst for knowledge?

And then there is the future - my future. If I were to know my future alone, would that knowledge bring that reality into existence? Because if I didn't know about it, then the future would be unknown, and I could shape it to be what I want it to be. But now that I do, I want to change it if I don't like it.

But what if I unintentionally create that reality while trying to change it? The more I try to achieve a better outcome, the more I fall into the reality I dread. If I hadn't known about it, would it still have happened? Would the result of my undisturbed steps be different from the possible future shown to me?

Should I go to Town Square every day if I know I will meet my soulmate there? Or would that diminish the significance of the encounter? Because everyone there is a potential soulmate. Do I live life normally? But how can I live a normal life after hearing about my future?

The world is so vast, and no one can explore it all in a lifetime. If I wanted to see it all, would the world be open to me if I exchanged that with my life? Would my spirit be allowed to roam and explore the world like my body could not, from the depths of the water to the endless space? Even as a spiritual being, I would still fear what lurks in the ocean's darkness. But wouldn't it be amazing to see everything no one has ever or will ever see?

Then, there is the question of what happens after death. What would I be able to do and not do? I would want to know things and see things. I would like to be an explorer of earth, sea, and space forever and ever.

It would take me forever to visit and know everything everywhere, though. But still, what would we do after death? Or will it just be nothingness? Void. Cease to exist. Would I become bored after a few hundred years of roaming? And if I were given this deal, wouldn't that be a sad afterlife? It might be fun initially, but I do not want to be alone for all eternity.

And I should believe in heaven and hell because I'm a Christian, but sometimes I wonder, what if they don't exist? Would I just cease to exist? And if they did exist, what would heaven be like? What would I do there? Can I ask questions, like "who created God? What was there before the void?" Will I be given answers? Will I be bored? Will I have my free will, or will every one of us be like zombies doing the same thing till the end of time?

What exactly would I be doing? Will who I become be different from who I was on earth? Will I inherit a new personality, a "holy personality"? And every other person, too? Hence, all of us are the same thing, all "holy personalities, one mind, and movement and all."

Or what if it's a loop? After the world is destroyed and the new world comes, everyone still has their old-world personality. Wouldn't it mean that one person or two could still do something wrong or sinful and spoil the "new earth" again?

That brings me back to the perceived holy personality. Do we all become the same and do the same, perfect in some way, hence making it so that we don't ruin the new earth and heaven? I don't want to be a zombie. I don't want to be like everyone else; I want to be me. But how would we all be? How would I be? I wish to know all these answers.

If only I could prepare myself for the afterlife. I am not talking about living a righteous life. I am talking about knowing exactly what it will be like and what to expect. If I could meet someone dead to tell me what the afterlife is like, I would. But at the same time, how do I know that the dead person I meet is real and not another being trying to trick me? I want to know, but I don't want to be gullible to cruel beings.

In A Battle in the Lavatory, we embark on a humorous yet relatable narrative about the struggles of dealing with an unusually hard poo. This engaging tale explores the physical and emotional challenges one faces while navigating this universal experience. With a mix of humour and honesty, the story captures the determination required to find relief, reminding us that even the toughest battles can have a funny side.

A Battle in the Lavatory

I fought a battle today and almost lost. The struggle began as I sat on the porcelain throne, grappling with a poo that felt more like a formidable rock than a typical bathroom guest. My usual tactics of shaping it with a careful press proved futile, as this time, it was unyieldingly hard and resistant to my efforts.

Fear crept in as I contemplated the potential consequences of attempting to force its exit. The sharp edges of the stubborn intruder posed a threat to my intestines and the delicate skin of my butt hole. Each attempt to push it out resulted in searing pain, compelling me to retract my efforts.

Desperation led me to a daring move - I decided to chip away at the stubbornly persistent foe with my own fingers. The resistance proved fierce, and the first successful chip revealed a disconcerting sight - a hint of red, unsure whether it was blood or just the aftermath of the battle.

Despite the pain, I pressed on, tears mingling with prayers for a swift resolution. After several attempts and a sip of water, I summoned the strength to try again. With a determined push, the unyielding mass finally surrendered, ushering in a cascade of relief as the backlog followed suit.

Exhausted and emotionally drained, I emerged from the toilet with a throbbing butt hole and the lingering scent of the battle. A thorough cleanse ensued, but the victory was bittersweet. Though physically drained, the mental toll left me ready to surrender to the embrace of sleep, marking the end of a challenging odyssey.

Note to Self is a heartfelt reflection on the emotional challenges that come with fleeting relationships and impulsive decisions. The poem speaks of guilt, pain, and the weight of choices, highlighting the need for patience and self-worth. It emphasises the importance of waiting for genuine love, valuing one's body, and navigating personal struggles with hope for a brighter, more fulfilling future.

Note to Self

I am poor.
My family is poor.
He is poor.
He will deny me.
He is not even mine.
He is not ready.
I am not ready.
My p isn't regular.
I can't always predict accurately.
They can use me.
Even if it's not intentional,
There is Spiritual and Generational.
The oaths and bonds it makes,
And it's just not worth it.
I don't even enjoy it.

I will be the one facing the consequences.
I will be the one with the worry.

I will be the one with the guilt, the sleepless night, the paranoia, the tears, the shame, the stigmatization, the humiliation, the struggle, the pain, the weight, the load.

It is my body that suffers not his.
My promises to God,
I can't even remember them.
I have to do better.
It's for my own good.
I am weak.
I dunno how to be strong.
Only one person is good for me.
Don't make him cry.
I might not have him now.
But I will soon have him forever.

I don't want to lose what I love for what I don't even like.
They are not my future so they are not worth it.
No matter how hot those few days are.

I will overcome it.
I just have to.
It is only a phase.
Soon it will pass.
And be in the past.

I should also pray.
Because I need it.
And in just one day,
I will finally be happy.

Warning: This poem has sexual content. If you are not comfortable with that or are under the age of 18, please do not read this poem.

Our Love Story is an evocative poem that delves into the depths of love and intimacy. Through sensual language and vivid imagery, it paints a picture of two souls intertwined, capturing moments of affection, passion, and unity. This piece celebrates the powerful connection shared between two lovers, highlighting both the physical and emotional aspects of their bond.

Our Love Story

I wish you were here
In my bed cuddling
My hand on your chest
Your heartbeat listening
On your nipple drumming
My forehand kissing
Our hands intertwining
And feet canoodling

Your lips are mining
Our tongues are wrestling
Hands are roaming
Body is moving
The heat is rising
And clothes are off-ing
Rain is falling
We are soaring

Nipples a sucking
Tongues are licking
Everywhere touching
Everywhere kissing
My legs subtracting
You are adding
Bodies are rocking
Bodies are loving
Body is climbing
Hands are gripping
Muscle is clenching
Constant reverberating
Each toss accelerating
Each one more enticing
So much elevating
So much juicing

Now it's the climax
The meeting on cloud nine
Our two together
The mirror of one
The looks on our faces
The tell of our bodies
The tale of two souls
The passion of one

Descriptive Essay offers a deep, poetic reflection on the many facets of one's identity. The speaker openly explores their contradictions and complexities—embracing everything from humor and darkness to love and vulnerability. This piece captures the essence of a self that is flawed yet beautiful, dark yet caring, giving a glimpse into the raw emotions and intricacies that make us human.

Descriptive Essay

I'm fucked up
50 shades
I'm crazy
Like wtf
I'm comical
Like the joker
My humour
Pitch black
I'm seriously
Not serious
Riddled
Like a poem
Drama
Like a drag.

I'm clingy
As a belt
Needy
Like a baby
Scared
As a lamb
Shy
Like a crab
Quiet
As a mute
Confused
Like an algae
Lazy
As a log.

But,
I love
Like the sun
Beautiful
As the rainbow
Black as darkness
I care
Like a mother
Close but afar
Deep and bottomless
Deadly as poison.
I feel
Like a cherry hits the floor
A dead lost soul roaming the earth
The savour of your favourite ice cream
A newborn baby.

I'm sorry
Like a burst tire
When it has a spare
Like the kiss on a finger
Hope the pain goes away
Like the tears in my eyes
It's rare like a jewel
Like afforestation
Hope we replenish again.

Unraveling Trust is a poem that navigates the emotional landscape of betrayal. The speaker wrestles with the shocking discovery of deceit, feeling confusion, anger, and sadness. As the poem unfolds, it captures the whirlwind of emotions experienced when trust is broken, highlighting the dissonance between words and actions and the painful journey of dealing with manipulation.

Unravelling Trust

It has come to my attention that you are not a truthful person and hence cannot be trusted.

I fear that everything you have told me is nothing but a lie as I do not know what to believe.

You say one thing and then end up doing another. A is your belief, but B is who you worship.

I willingly want and wanted to do something nice for you but rebuked me.

In the end, I still did it even though I wasn't aware of my actions then.

Manipulated, shocked, angry, sad, rebuked, and many more feelings I'm having right now.

My mood swing is in turmoil. I'm on a catastrophic circus parade, a deathtrap rollercoaster ride.

365 Days is an intimate story that reflects on a full year of love filled with joy, challenges, and growth. Each verse is a tribute to the shared experiences that make a relationship strong, acknowledging imperfections but cherishing every moment. The poem is both a celebration of the past year and a hopeful promise for the future, affirming the commitment to stand by one another no matter what lies ahead.

365 Days

It's been a year now.
A year of knowing you, loving you, missing you,
A year of laughter and gloom.
A year of me and you.

Today's love.
Stronger than yesterday,
Less than tomorrow,
Stronger every day.

We are not perfect, I know
But we are learning.
For it's only been one year,
Many more are coming

The future might be blurry
But one thing is clear,
You and I together
We will always be there.

So I say thank you for loving me,
For my ups and downs.
Thank you for loving,
365 days and now.

Hi, it’s T.

I’ve been thinking about how my mind can be its loudest when the world is at its quietest. As someone who overthinks a lot, I find the nights especially overwhelming. During the day, I can find distractions to help me drown out the noise, but at night, it’s just me and my thoughts.

One night, I decided to stop fighting the chaos and start writing it instead. I wanted to capture that experience in words—not just for myself, but for anyone who might feel the same.

Here’s what it feels like when the night is quiet, but your mind is loud:

When the Night is Quiet, But Your Mind is Loud

When the darkness sets in, and the world outside is asleep, you lie awake. You should be resting, but you can’t. You’re alone. Not alone in the room, but alone with your thoughts—the ones you tried to silence during the day. They creep back now, louder in the quiet, demanding your attention.

The night is still. Everything is still. Except for your mind. Your thoughts run wild, unruly, refusing to let you rest. You try to quiet them again, as you did before, but there’s nothing to distract you now. No noise. No tasks. No people. Just these voices, whispering, shouting, dragging you deeper into your own head.

You go through your nightly routine—brushing your teeth, turning off the lights, wrapping yourself in the comfort of your blanket—but your mind is restless. And when your head finally touches the pillow, the real noise begins.

The voices—they come back louder than before. The day gave you distractions, but now, under the weight of the night, they have no competition. You try to fight them, but they won’t let go. Not until they’ve been heard.

Your eyes are open, staring at nothing. You listen. You have no choice. The thoughts tell their stories, make their arguments, rehearse their regrets. Over and over, they fill the silence with their endless chatter.

You wait. You wait for them to tire. To exhaust themselves. And eventually, they do. Finally, they let you fall asleep, but not before they've had their way with you.

Tomorrow, they’ll be back. You know they will. But for now, there is a small hope. Maybe tomorrow will be quieter. Maybe tomorrow, they’ll rest too.

That’s all for now. If you’ve ever felt this way, let me know in the comment section. I hope these words help you feel a little less alone, and maybe tonight will be quieter for both of us.

Till next time,

Signed, T.

In My Love Unknown, the poet shares the joy of dreaming about an unknown love. Even though they don’t know what this future partner looks like or when they will meet, the anticipation brings immense happiness. The poem beautifully captures the hope and patience required when waiting for true love, painting a vivid picture of excitement for the moment when the faceless soulmate becomes a reality. This ode to future love expresses the belief that the wait, though long, will be worth it.

My Love Unknown

I Smile,
Every time I think of you.
I dunno who you are
Or where you are from.
I have no idea what you look like,
If you are tall or short, fat or thin,
What and who you are?
Have we met or are yet to?
I just smile,
Every time I think of you.

You make me happy, joyous, excited.
For a faceless being, that's pretty weird.
You make me feel like there is actually
Something to hope for, something to die for,
Something for me to keep living on for.

Your kiss turns my frown upside down.
You know just when I need it.
I feel the care and love,
I feel you.

But I must be patient.
Patient for you, patient for me,
Patient for both of us.
Even though I haven't met you or noticed you,
One day I will, not late or early,
But one day, the perfect day.
My faceless being,
My one,
My love, unknown.

In My Adjectives, the poet delves into the emotional turmoil of feeling disconnected and uncertain. Through introspective verses, the poem explores the feelings of being lost in life, fear of the unknown, and loneliness. The poet candidly expresses their worries about love, family, and future goals, portraying the overwhelming sense of isolation in a world that doesn’t seem to provide answers or understanding. This raw and honest reflection captures the silent struggles many face in their quest for clarity and connection.

My Adjectives

I Am lost, scared and lonely.

Lost.
I dunno where I am going to, where I came from.
What I am looking for or if I will recognise it when it surfaces.
I dunno who to ask for help.
I see no one to question.
I see no signs, no options to choose from.
I am at a point that has many paths leading to different places.
What is at the end of the road I do not know?
Will it be something I would like or what makes me worse?
Something to clear my way or more lost than ever?

Scared.
I am scared of everything.
Everything about life, love, family, school.
Just everything.

What life brings, unsure if I am prepared for it.
What love is, if I will experience true genuine love.
Family that is imperfectly perfect, not disoriented.
And of course, passing my grades wella.

Lonely.
I feel so alone.
Alone in this World.
With;
No one to talk to,
No one to share my feelings with,
No one who understands.

In "Just Someone," the poet explores the yearning for an ideal love that exists beyond the boundaries of reality. The poem paints the picture of an unknown soulmate, someone who understands, comforts, and cherishes the poet in every way. Through vivid imagery and emotional longing, the poet dreams of a love that transcends daydreams, hoping for a true connection that fills the heart with joy, even in sorrow. This poem is a hopeful reflection on love, patience, and the desire for someone real.

Just Someone

I've been dreaming lately of someone who doesn't exist
Someone whose face I do not know
Someone I've never met or maybe I have but haven't realized it yet
Someone who complements me
Someone who understands me
Someone who does everything to make me smile
Someone who tries to make the world our very own
Someone who cheers me up when I'm sad
Apologies when he's wrong, sometimes when I am too
Someone who loves me for who I am
What I am, what I will become
Doesn't judge me or try to change me
Takes my faults and deals with it
Encourages me to do the daring things of my life
Goes hysterical when I'm ill
Finds me when I'm lost.
Stays even when I say fuck off
Holds me in his arms, smiles and just says nothing
Even when I'm giving up and letting go, he never would
Even when he is not, for both of us he is strong enough
Wish I have someone to love
Someone to hope
Someone to care for
Someone to cry about when we are apart
Be merry and gay when we are together
Someone to cheer me up when I'm sad
Someone to sing me a lullaby when I go to bed
Someone to cherish for the rest of my life
Someone who complements me understands me and takes me as I am
To hold me and never let go
Someone who I feel the same for
Someone I know
Someone whose face I see
Someone who exists not only in my daydreams and fantasies
Someone

In Reasons I'll Never Know, the poet captures the pain of a love that was never fully returned. Through silent tears and quiet reflection, the poet questions why their affection and efforts weren't enough to keep the relationship alive. This emotional poem delves into the complexity of unreciprocated love, where one person gives their all while the other remains distant. The poem reflects on the sadness, confusion, and slow healing that follow, as the poet ponders the reasons for love's fading.

Reasons I'll Never Know

I lay on my bed, my back towards you.
With tears in my eyes, I cry silently,
Wandering what l ever did wrong.
Was it care I didn't give or love I didn't show?
All my attention I gave, I made you my very world.
I gave you all I had, even though it wasn't much.
I made for you my time, though mummy's girl I'm such.

But you decided to be busy.
Busy with school, busy with work, busy with your ex.
You said you love me, boy you are funny…
With the way you showed it, it was no denying it.
I tried my best, I even tried harder.
You tried your easy, you didn't try at all.

Even though you don't, me I still do
Whether or not you lie, my words are true.
And even when I try
The past remains the same.
I try to hide it, to not let it show.
Even though I'm good at it, the wounds heal slow.

You seem to let yourself out
Every time I'm being sent home.
You make me laugh, you make me smile
And then you make me cry.
I end up back in the operating room.
Tell me why oh why.

My love for you is the sweetest thing
And yet it hurts the most.
With tears in my eyes, I lay silently,
My back towards you, my mind pondering
What i ever did wrong?

In Loves Attention, the poet shares a deeply personal journey of heartbreak and unreciprocated love. The poem captures the agony of loving someone who doesn’t return the same feelings and the confusion that follows when love feels like a punishment rather than a gift. Through honest reflections, the poet navigates the emotional highs and lows of longing for affection while facing rejection. This piece offers a poignant look at the emotional toll of unreciprocated love and the struggle to find clarity in a one-sided relationship.

Loves Attention

I wanna forget you, please leave me alone.
I try to reach you but you don't.
Why're you playing with my feelings,
I thought you love me guess you don't.
What I did to deserve this I don't know.
Is it so wrong to be loved by you and you being there for me?
But you don't care and it's so sad.

They were right after all and you were wrong.
You said you don't play with love but you do.
You turn my smile upside down and make me cry.
Your love seems like a punishment to me.

When you told me “fuck I love you”
You can't imagine how true I wish it to be.
I think of you each day of what we could be.
But what good is imagination when reality hurts more than it should?

I just wanna be in your arms, just wanna hold you tight.
I just want you to hold and kiss me, take my hand and never let go.
That's all I want and wish.
That's all I want, You.

Your love brings joy to my life and tears to my eyes.
I cry and smile when I think of you.
You are like a scale in my aching heart,
Swaying continuously with your winds of attitude.
Your love to me is like words and opposite
And it's so confusing to read you.
You make it so hard for me to see you.
That's how I feel about you.

But you are also my inspiration,
My inspiration for heartache.
My most thoughts are sad memories of you.
Why is love hard to understand, true love hard to find?

SOS delves into the narrator’s emotional struggle as they question whether their feelings for someone are true love or simply another crush. Reflecting on past disappointments and fleeting infatuations, the narrator wonders if they are repeating old patterns, fearing the possibility of unrequited love or self-deception. Torn between hope and uncertainty, the poem is a plea for clarity and guidance in the complex world of emotions.

SOS

This feeling, this feeling I'm having.
Is it love or lust?
Is it a fling, just another crush?
Is it just like the rest I thought I loved
But later turned out lost?

What if it's like the others?
What if I don't love him?
What if this feeling is untrue?
And what if I'm lying to myself?

But I can't.
If I don't take this chance how will I know?

I think of him every day.
I talk to him each day.
Miss him when I don't.
Is this real or just another crush?

Just like the others, I thought I liked,
And missed and loved, then unloved and forgotten.

God, please help.
So much love I can't give back.
So much care and so much trust.
So much love,
Just so much.

In The Guy in My Dreams, the poet reflects on a recurring dream about a mysterious figure who brings love, happiness, and protection. Though they have never met in reality, the dream feels deeply familiar, like a long-lost connection. The poet yearns to return to sleep, hoping to meet the man again, and is filled with anticipation, longing, and hope for the future. This poem beautifully captures the emotions of yearning for a dream-like love that feels real, despite the uncertainty of ever meeting him in the waking world.

The Guy in My Dreams

When I close my eyes
and sleep takes me away,
I dream of you
holding me in your arms.
Kissing and protecting me,
from dangers seen and unseen.

Even though I have never met you
except in this my dream,
It feels like I have always known you,
all my life it seems.

And when I'm wide awake,
I think of you each day.
Of all the kisses we shared together
right there in my dream.

I try to drift to sleep,
hoping we meet again.
To see your face just one more time
Oh! that would be so so great.

I will think of you each day,
You are the one I will never forget.
I will think of you just as the guy
The guy who made my Dreams.

The poem, Heartache, captures the raw emotions of unrequited love and the heartache of falling for someone who may not have felt the same. The poet initially misjudges the person's character but soon develops deep feelings for them. However, these feelings are met with uncertainty, leaving the poet torn between holding on to memories or moving on. The pain of not knowing whether their love was ever returned deepens the sorrow. Through this heartfelt reflection, the poem portrays the internal conflict of yearning for answers and struggling with the emotional aftermath of love lost.

Heartache

When I first met you,
I thought you had no respect for girls.
And that was because I didn't know you
Only by name and face.

People say looks can be deceiving.
I too agree that appearance can be deceiving.

That's why when we sat together
I found out that you were and are
Still a nice guy,
Who is cool, kind, smart and handsome too.

And when you smile, Oh! It takes my breath away.
It makes me love you more and more each day.

At first, I didn't know it.
Though my best friend saw it.
I tried to deny it,
But had to accept the truth.

I loved hearing your voice
And chatting with you too!

Sometimes I wonder,
When we hang out together,
Were we just friends
Or was there more to it?

Wondered if you ever loved me
Or just played me for a fool.

I know I acted stupidly.
But all that I did
Was because of what I felt for you.
No one ever made me feel that way before.

I didn't know how to control it.
That's why I behaved the way I did.

When you left me,
You took a piece of me with you.
I still think of you each day
And wonder if you think of me too.

I keep wondering if you ever loved me,
You never told me how you felt.

How I wish I know
'Cos the feeling of not knowing
Is worse than the feeling
Of knowing the truth.
And now I'm standing on the fence
Not knowing what to do.

And now I'm lying in my bed
Thinking of what to do.
Should I cling unto these memories?
Maybe you would come back.

Or should I just let go?

In Words and Opposite, the poet expresses deep disillusionment with ideals like love, care, hope, and peace, feeling abandoned by these once-cherished values. As despair takes over, the poet yearns for the opposite of what they once sought, calling for hatred and war to replace the comfort that love and peace failed to provide. Through powerful imagery, this poem explores the emotional conflict between yearning for connection and embracing its opposite in the face of disappointment and loneliness.

Words and Opposite

Go and tell love to sleep,
She is not wanted.

Tell care to go away,
She is not needed.

Tell hope not to come,
For I have lost hope in her.

To peace,
It shouldn't come back.
For when she was needed most
She disappeared.

But for hatred.
Let her come.
Let her come and replace love.
Let her come and wipe away,
All the tears that love have made.

And for war.
She should come.
She should come and replace peace.
She should come and give to me,
The most things that peace couldn't give.

I have no one to hope for.
I have no one to care for.
Hope and care are useless now
For none is here to use upon.

Twice as Nice is a poem that delves into the complexities of admiration and idealisation. At first glance, the subject of the poet's affection appears "twice as nice," with an overwhelming list of positive qualities. However, as the poem progresses, admiration turns into disillusionment, revealing that too much perfection can actually be a flaw. The poet reflects on how they once viewed this person through rose-colored glasses, only to realize that no one is as flawless as they seem. This poem speaks to the universal experience of uncovering the reality behind idealised love.

Twice as Nice

You are
Twice as nice,
Twice as cool.
Twice too smart, twice too true.

You are
Twice good-looking,
Just too good.
Twice everything that is you.

But,

Too much everything is not good.
Too cool, too much good.

Too much nice, too much cool.
Too much smart, ain't so true.