… Because Unlike Gold And Silver, Asbestos Is UGLY

Gold was discovered in Colorado in 1858, right here in Denver.  Later, in the areas surrounding what are now the towns of Idaho Springs and Central City, more gold was discovered, and the Colorado gold rush was on.  Because gold is a beautiful, valuable rock.

Gold was also discovered twelve times by the US team in the recently-concluded Winter Olympics.  Beautiful!

Silver was discovered in the early 1860s in Colorado, with the significant deposits near Georgetown making that town the “Silver Queen of the Rockies,” and a serious candidate for the Colorado territorial capitol.  Did you know this?  Whether you did or not, I bet you knew that silver is also a beautiful and valuable rock.

Silver was also discovered by the US Olympic team twelve times.

Nobody knows where bronze was discovered.  It was a long time ago.  (Possibly in the “bronze age?”)  Many teams discovered this rock, sometimes described as “meh,” but still pretty beautiful, in the Winter Olympic games.  Even Belgium discovered bronze before the games concluded.

Gold may be considered the most beautiful rock ever discovered.  But the ugliest rock?  That dubious distinction belongs to asbestos.

The first serious North American mining of asbestos in modern times occurred in Canada in the nineteenth century.  (Canada also discovered silver in the Winter Olympics hockey final, when their efforts to discover gold came up short.  Sorry, Canada.)  (Actually, not sorry.)

Canadians, and others, began mining asbestos because it was discovered that many products could be cheaply made with this ugly rock, and that those products would have resistance to fire.  But a few years later, certain types of incurable cancer (like mesothelioma and asbestosis) were also discovered.

Further discoveries led to the understanding that asbestos, that ugliest of rocks, was the principal cause of those incurable diseases.  So, certain more-enlightened nations, like America, moved to make asbestos illegal.

Unfortunately, un-enlightened (but highly compensated) lobbyists kept asbestos from being completely illegal in the U.S.  You may not know it, but while it’s still illegal in America to mine asbestos or make stuff with it, it’s still perfectly legal to import it, and tons of products containing the ugly rock arrive here annually.

What does all this mean to you, the casual observer of the Winter Olympics?  It means that, know it or not, you could be surrounded by ugly, cancer-causing asbestos.  It’s in building materials included in many of our homes and offices, and even in places you wouldn’t guess, like faux jewelry and make-up.

If it isn’t “disturbed,” asbestos isn’t dangerous.  But if you have a small house fire, or a plumbing leak, or a DIY project gone bad, microscopic asbestos particles may well be released into your air, prolonged exposure to which would be very, very ugly for you and your family.

The answer?  Get your air tested by a reputable testing firm (we don’t do the testing ourselves, since that’s a conflict of interest, but we can recommend a good tester).  And if there’s a problem, we’ll bring in the state-of-the-art equipment needed and keep at it until your air is asbestos free.

You know why there’s no “Asbestos Medal” in the Olympics?  Because asbestos is an UGLY rock.  If you suspect you might have a problem at your place with airborne asbestos, give us a call, and we’ll make sure you and your people are safe from one of the most ugly contaminations out there.

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… There Are A Few Ways Your Air Can Become Contaminated

We recently made a new friend named Bill (as far as you know), and we were happy to make his home asbestos free.  But here’s the story on how Bill came to make our acquaintance.

“Yep, your place is definitely contaminated by airborne asbestos,” said Scott, the crackerjack asbestos tester Bill’s wife had called in.  “I’d suggest you get in touch with Asbestos Abatement, Inc. at your earliest convenience.  They’re the best in the business at solving asbestos problems like this.”

“We’ll do that!” said Bill’s wife.

“Wait a minute!” said Bill.  “I know you’re a crackerjack asbestos tester – my wife says everybody says so – but how in the world did our place get contaminated by crackerjack asbestos?”

“There’s no asbestos in crackerjack, as far as you know,” said Scott, “but there are a few different ways a contamination like this could occur.  I see the walls of your kitchen are a bit charred.  What happened there?”

“Well, we did have a little fire in there a couple weeks ago,” Bill said.

“He tried to make lasagna,” Bills’ wife said.

“But I had it out in a minute!” said Bill.

“He burned up half of my good pans,” said Bill’s wife, “and you can see what happened to the walls and countertop.”

“Yes, well, a house fire – even a small one – can release asbestos into the air,” said Scott.  “The plastic handles of your pots and pans, and the materials in your walls and countertop, can contain asbestos.”

“What?” said Bill.  “I thought asbestos was illegal in this country!”

“You sure did,” muttered Bill’s wife.

“It is illegal to mine asbestos in the U.S., and to manufacture things with it, but it’s still legal to import the ugly stuff.  Tons of asbestos products arrive here every year,” Scott explained.

“As long as it’s not disturbed, the asbestos in those products is not dangerous,” said Scott.  “But the smoke from melted plastic definitely counts as a disturbance.”

“And that little fire was enough to put a dangerous amount of asbestos in the air?” Bill said, his face showing clear incredulity.  “I didn’t see any particles floating around in the air, or smell or feel anything!”

“You wouldn’t,” said Scott.  “Asbestos, when disturbed, breaks up into microscopic shards you can’t see, smell, feel, taste, or hear.  But with prolonged exposure, those shards can impale themselves in your lungs and cause incurable diseases like mesothelioma.”

“Shards!” exclaimed Bill’s wife.  “In our air!”

“Still,” said Bill, “it was such a little fire.”

“Yes, but aren’t you forgetting the flood?  And your nephew?” said Bill’s wife.

“What about the nephew and the flood?” asked Scott.

“Well, it’s winter, and we did have a pipe burst after that last thaw.  It flooded the basement and destroyed a bunch of floor tiles and drywall,” admitted Bill.

“Uh huh,” said Scott, stroking his chin thoughtfully.

“And since we already had a mess down there, I asked my nephew to do a little remodeling.  He’s pretty handy,” Bill said.  “But when he took out a couple of the damaged walls and piled up the damaged tiles, man, we had a major dust cloud in here that we only got rid of a couple days ago.”

“I see,” said Scott.  “That drywall, those floor tiles, and even the pipe insulation likely contained asbestos.  And that dust cloud is probably what spread those shards throughout the air in your home.”

“Shards!” said Bill’s wife again.

“No kidding,” Bill said quietly.

“You’re wise to have called me,” said Scott.  “Now you need to get in touch with your new friends at Asbestos Abatement, Inc.  They’ll arrive in their space suits with their state-of-the-art equipment, and they’ll keep at it until your home is once again safe and asbestos free.

There are several ways asbestos shards can get into your air.  But there’s only one way to solve the problem, and that’s by conducting a professional abatement.  It will probably cost less than you think, and certainly be worthwhile when you consider the human (and medical) costs of NOT abating.  If you know anyone who might have airborne asbestos, have them get their place tested and then give us a call.  You’ll thank yourself!

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… And He Wants You And Your Family Safe From Asbestos

Once upon a time, incurable and deadly mesothelioma was really not much of a thing.  That’s because, once upon a time, airborne asbestos – which is a major cause of mesothelioma – was not much of a thing.

What happened was, as far as you know, and we’re really only making up some of this, was this: Baby New Year arrived on New Year’s Eve, like always, and found the Old Man Old Year burned to a crisp in his bed where he’d been smoking a holiday cigar and fell asleep.

This was disturbing, to say the least, and everyone demanded a solution that would prevent this from ever happening again.  One guy in the back quietly suggested that people be warned not to smoke in bed (and, in fact, not to smoke at all)… but that guy was a nerd, even back then, and nobody listened to him.

The popular fellow from Marketing suggested that blankets – and, in fact, many other things – be made of this nifty stuff they’d discovered called asbestos.  “It’s flame retardant!” exclaimed the popular fellow.  “It’s plentiful, it’s cheap, and we can use it to make all kinds of products!”

Baby New Year nodded his approval, and the race to mine asbestos and manufacture things with it was on.

A few more Baby New Years later, people started succumbing to mesothelioma at previously-unheard-of rates, and again, everyone demanded a solution.  It was the nerd in the back who suggested asbestos was the culprit.

“It’s basically an ugly rock,” said the nerd.  “When it’s in its solid manufactured state, it isn’t dangerous.  But when it gets disturbed, by something as simple as a small house fire or a flood in the basement, it breaks into microscopic shards which float around in the air and can impale themselves in your lungs.”

At first, no one wanted to listen to the nerdy guy.  Not even the latest Baby New Year.  But there was a politician in the room who understood the political possibilities of this discovery, and he launched a campaign to outlaw nerds.

Just kidding.  He launched a campaign to outlaw asbestos.

This almost worked, until one of the cool dudes in Marketing suggested that the entire economy would collapse without asbestos products, which were still cheap to make, and his lobbying campaign worked.

Ever since, it’s still illegal to mine asbestos and manufacture things with it in the United States, but it’s perfectly legal to import the nasty stuff, and tons of it arrive on our shores with every Baby New Year.

What does this mean for you, you ask?  It’s this, and we’re not making any of this up: asbestos is still all around us, even today, in everything from the ceiling tiles at the office to your talcum-containing makeup (again, not making this up).  So there’s still a risk.

Prolonged exposure to microscopic airborne asbestos can lead to mesothelioma, or other types of lung disease which are equally deadly and incurable.

The solution?  You don’t need Baby New Year or any nerdy person to tell you this: if you suspect you might have airborne asbestos in your place, you should have your air professionally tested and, if there’s a problem, have it solved by experts who know how to scrub your air until it’s asbestos free.

At Asbestos Abatement, Inc., we know how to get rid of airborne asbestos.  We don’t do the testing – that would be a conflict of interest – but we can refer you to a reputable tester.  And if you have those ugly shards floating around in your air, we can get rid of them.  You, your family, and every coming Baby New Year can then breathe easy!  And that’s our holiday wish for you, this year, and every year.

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… We’re Grateful For Our Wonderful Asbestos Abatement Customers

If you end up with airborne asbestos at your place, there’s really nothing fun or funny about it.

That’s because there’s nothing funny about mesothelioma, or asbestosis, or any of the other incurable deadly maladies caused by exposure to the nasty stuff.

Airborne asbestos is comprised of microscopic shards that you can’t see, hear, smell, taste, or feel… but which can, over time, impale themselves in your lungs and cause breathing to be something you remember fondly from your past.

And asbestos-laden products are all around us.  It’s illegal in the U.S. to mine asbestos, or to manufacture things with the ugly rock, but it’s still perfectly legal to import asbestos products.  And tons of the dangerous stuff arrive on our shores, and are sold into our homes, every year.

Everything from the insulation around your basement pipes, to your teenage daughter’s faux jewelry (really), to your talcum-powder makeup (also really) can be made with asbestos included.

It’s not dangerous when it’s in its manufactured form, but if the product gets disturbed, by anything from a flood in the basement to a small fire in the home, look out.  That’s when the ugly shards go airborne, and start seeking out your nice soft lung tissue.

You don’t want that.

So we’re proud to be part of the solution.  If you get your place tested (we don’t do the testing, but can recommend an expert testing company for you) – and you find you have a problem – we’ll rush over with our state-of-the-art equipment and keep at it until your place is asbestos free.

You can take our word for it… but you don’t have to.  Here’s what some of our recent customers had to say about the service they got from Asbestos Abatement, Inc.

Fast response time from phone call to job being completed…

Very professional…did a great job…

Would recommend any time….

…Came out promptly and reviewed our problem area…

Indicated that the area likely did not have asbestos

but pointed us to a testing company to confirm…

We got lucky…

The material did not have enough asbestos to warrant professional treatment…

[AAI] walked me through the report as well since it was difficult to interpret…

Nice to find an honest contractor around these days!..

Did an excellent job for us.

 We had to have damaged areas of our ceiling removed after a roof leak. Asbestos Abatement was wonderful! They had clear, excellent communication, informed us every step of the way, and always showed up when they said they would. We had a minor issue we found afterwards, and they bent over backwards to fix it rapidly. I was so impressed with their courtesy, thoroughness and integrity, as well as the excellence of their work. If I ever need ceiling work done on any of my other rooms, I know who to call!

 And here’s one from one of our commercial clients (a cemetery):

As always, [the team] at Asbestos Abatement did an absolute great job for us!
…My “go to” when it comes to this type of work…

I definitely recommend [AAI] for any asbestos, mold, and lead removal..
Thanks guys!

During this season of gratitude, we’re especially grateful for our customers.  Thank you!  And if you know anyone who suspects they might have an ugly problem with airborne asbestos, have them reach out to us for a recommendation on how to get their place tested and cleared of any asbestos threat.  We’ll be grateful for the call… and they’ll be grateful for the chance to breathe easy!

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^^Old football pads made with asbestos

… What You “Need” To Know

Here on the Colorado Front Range, autumn is in the air.  The leaves are beginning to turn, those wood fire aromas fill the brisk fall air, and you can get football on the boob tube almost every night.

(Sorry, Tuesday.)

But, speaking of things filling the brisk fall air, one thing you don’t want in your brisk fall air is airborne asbestos.

Now, many people ‘round these parts might wonder what asbestos has to do with football.  That’s because, if you want the attention of many people ‘round these parts, you better tie your subject in with football, and especially with the beloved Broncos.

So here are the main things you need to know about asbestos, especially airborne asbestos, and football, especially Bronco football.

1. Asbestos became popular due to its ability to keep things from bursting into flame.  Back in the day, many things were made from asbestos because of this, even including blankets – so idiots who smoke in bed would have a lower chance of bursting into flame.
   1. After a great pre-season, the Broncos have lost two games they should have won.  Their defense still seems able to keep opposing teams cooled-off, but we’re still waiting for the Denver offense to burst into flame.

1. Asbestos is basically a rock, and an ugly rock at that.  That’s why it has flame-retardant properties.  But it’s flaky.  When it gets busted up, it breaks into microscopic shards that can impale themselves in your lungs and cause diseases such as mesothelioma, which has no cure.
   1. Again, Denver’s defense is pretty rock-solid, but when it busts up, it too can be ugly. And at times, the offense’s running game puts up numbers which are downright microscopic.

(Think I’m reaching a bit here?  Hang on.)

1.  Some people think asbestos is illegal.  Those people probably still smoke in bed.  No, asbestos is still legal.  You can’t mine or manufacture things with asbestos in this country, but it’s still perfectly legal to import the ugly stuff, so tons of it arrive on our shores every year.
   1. Know what’s illegal?  In football, the list includes holding, pass interference, “illegal man downfield” (please), and even the now-famous penalty “leaping.”  The Broncos are flagged for these illegalities regularly.  Sometimes, they’ve actually committed them.

1. Asbestos is microscopic.  You can’t see, hear, taste, feel, or smell it.
   1. The Broncos offense is not microscopic, but sometimes it’s hard to SEE them winning enough games to go to the playoffs, or HEAR pundits say good things about them, or get the bad TASTE of their losses out of your mouth, or FEEL any sympathy for the coaches.  They do kinda SMELL, though.

1. Asbestos does not have to ruin your life.  If you suspect you might have airborne asbestos at your place, caused by a small house fire, or a basement flood, or a bad DIY project – anything that might’ve disturbed the asbestos in your building materials – we can fix the problem.
   1. Like asbestos, the Broncos do not have to ruin your life.  You could get a hobby.  You could maybe take a second job.  And maybe – just maybe – they will fix their problems and you could rejoin their season in progress later, when they might smell better

GO Broncos!  And if you’re worried about asbestos, GO to the phone and give us a call.  The highly-trained, deeply-experienced, and distractingly-attractive pros at Asbestos Abatement, Inc. will stay at it until the air in your place is asbestos free.  And then all you’ll have to worry about is the next penalty-laden Bronco game.

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… It’s Probably Those Microscopic Shards O’Death

Vampires are scary.  But not as scary as airborne asbestos.

That said, vampires are scary.  I have a friend whose mom loved the old vampire soap opera Dark Shadows, and who, at the age of 9, used to sleep with a cardboard cross around his neck so Barnabus Collins wouldn’t be able to suck his blood and elongate his canines while he slept.

Ghosts can be pretty scary, too.  (But not as scary as airborne asbestos.)  Some of the otherworldly entities in Ghostbusters weren’t too bad… but Gozer?  The Gozerian?  That was one scary girl.  Or guy. Or whatever.

Zombies?  Gargoyles?  Goblins?  Spectral hounds?  Clowns?  (Okay, not all clowns.)  Centuries-old witches?  Tribbles gone bad?  Monsters from outer space?  All very scary.

But not as scary as airborne asbestos.

Why is airborne asbestos even more scary than all of these very-scary things?  Because, unlike these spooky entities, with the exception of some clowns, airborne asbestos is real.

And asbestos itself is all around you.

Maybe you’re of an age when you’ve heard the old Halloween radio shows, where a horrible monster is described, and then the announcer says “It’s in your town!  It’s in your neighborhood!  It’s coming up your block!  Wait!  What is that, right outside your door?!”

Well, there wasn’t really a horrible monster out there in your town, in your ‘hood, on your block, or outside your door.  But asbestos IS out there, and right inside your home.  Possibly even right inside that radio you’re listening to!

Companies started making stuff with asbestos years ago, because asbestos is flame-retardant.  It’s basically a rock, so they made everything from ceiling tiles to pipe insulation with the stuff.  They even made electric blankets with asbestos, so people (knuckleheads) who smoked in bed were safer.

When scientists discovered that asbestos causes incurable cancers, an effort was made to ban it.  You still can’t mine or manufacture things in the U.S. with asbestos, but it’s still perfectly legal to import asbestos-laden products, so that’s why it really is all around you.

But you don’t have to freak out.  Asbestos isn’t dangerous in its solid, manufactured form.  It’s only when asbestos-containing products are disturbed that the rock breaks up into tiny microscopic airborne shards which can, over time, impale themselves in your lungs and cause mesothelioma and other incurable diseases.

But if you have a little fire at your house – even a small, easily contained fire – something could burn which would release asbestos particles into your air.

Or, suppose your pipes burst this winter, and the pipe insulation, floor tiles, ceiling tiles, or other asbestos-containing materials get soaked.  Then they dry out, break up, and AUGGH!  Airborne asbestos!

At that point, you can freak out.  Because you can’t see, hear, feel, taste, or smell those shards o’death, so you really wouldn’t know if the scariest of real monsters – airborne asbestos – is all around you!

But you don’t have to live in fear.  Get your place professionally tested.  We don’t do the testing ourselves – it’s a conflict of interest – but we can recommend an expert tester who will confirm either that you have a scary problem, or that you don’t.

If you do, you can call your friends at Asbestos Abatement, Inc., and we’ll arrive with our space-suit-like outfits and state-of-the-art technology, and we’ll keep at it until your air is asbestos free.

If you have vampires, ghosts, or evil clowns at your place, we can’t help you.  But if you have a problem with airborne asbestos, we will be there for you!  We’ll drive a stake through the heart of this very-real monster, metaphorically speaking, giving you the treat of peace-of-mind.  That’s no trick!

The post What’s So Scary About Airborne Asbestos? appeared first on Asbestos Abatement, Inc..

… Inducted Into The Rock And Roll Hall Of Shame

You’ve heard of the Rock ‘n’ Roll Hall of Fame, no doubt.  But you probably never heard of the Rock And Roll Hall Of Shame.  (Probably not, since we’re making it up right before your very eyes.)

This Hall has nothing to do with music, though there are certainly some rock ‘n’ roll acts which might be unanimous choices for a hall of shame (Nickelback and Ace of Base spring readily to mind).

No, this is a Hall of Shame specifically for rocks, and for rolls.

Some of the most recent inductees on the roll side include an Irish roll called blaa (possibly because of its name), a New England favorite called bulkie (possibly because of what eating it makes you), and rolling a four when you were going for a Yahtzee in ones, forcing you to lose 50 key points.

But on the rock side of the Hall of Shame, especially since cement was ruled an “aggregate” and deemed ineligible, there is really only one prominent inductee: ASBESTOS.

Asbestos, is, in fact, all top twenty of the most shameful rocks on the rock side of the Rock and Roll Hall of Shame.

This would have been unthinkable a century ago.  That’s because, a hundred years ago, asbestos was considered a downright heroic rock.  Because of its flame-retardant properties, asbestos was featured in everything from building materials to electric blankets to the pantheon of comic book heroes.

(Yes, Asbestos Man was a comic book hero.  This we are NOT making up.)

Later, it was discovered that asbestos is the leading cause of some forms of incurable lung cancer, including mesothelioma and (no surprise) asbestosis.  Catch those diseases, and it’s time to get your affairs in order.

That’s because, when asbestos disintegrates, it breaks up into little microscopic shards o’ death which, after prolonged exposure, embed themselves irremovably from your lungs and make breathing increasingly difficult, and eventually impossible.

As a result of these findings, a few developments developed:

• The federal government tried to ban asbestos products from the United States.  It’s still illegal to manufacture stuff with the shameful rock, but after years of lobbying and failed government efforts, it’s still legal to import asbestos-laden materials, so tons of it arrive here every year.

• People stopped smoking in bed as much as they did a century ago, so the market for asbestos-laden blankets faded away.

• Other comic book heroes became popular, and Asbestos Man became a thing of the past.

But it’s a shameful fact that this potentially deadly rock is still all around us, in the aforementioned building materials (ceiling tiles, pipe insulation, floor and wall materials), as well as in some surprising places like  faux jewelry and even some kids’ toys.

Perhaps the worst asbestos-containing product, and maybe the most surprising, is powdered makeup.  If your makeup includes talcum, get rid of it!  Talcum is probably the 21^st most shameful rock, because it’s mined right next to asbestos, and they can’t help but scoop up both together.

Asbestos isn’t dangerous in its original, manufactured form.  It’s when the shameful stuff is disturbed, such as by a flood in the basement or that time your teenage daughter threw her faux jewelry into the fireplace because she was mad at the boy who gave it to her, that’s when it breaks into those bad shards.

So powdered makeup is the worst!  The stuff is in powdered form… it’s already “disturbed!”

You can’t see airborne asbestos particles, which makes the stuff even more shameful.  But if you think you might have a problem with asbestos contamination, we can refer you to a top-notch testing company, and if bad results come back, we can make your air 100% asbestos free.  There’s no shame in getting your place tested.  But if there’s a problem, and you don’t do something about it, well, that IS a shame.

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… It Ain’t Asbestos

This episode of Airborne Asbestos Is Microscopic comes from an epic customer saga from just a few weeks ago.  And while this episode is fictitious, meaning made-up, meaning not real (any resemblance to real episodes is purely coincidental), it’s still quite “realistic,” at least in places.

Our customer – we’ll call him Melvin (though his real name is Bob) – called to report that he was straight-up certain he had deadly, cancer-causing asbestos floating around in his air.

“What makes you say that?” we asked.

“It’s obvious!” Melvin said.  “I can smell it!”

(Since Airborne Asbestos Is Microscopic, and it can’t be detected by any of the five physical human senses – unless you count clairvoyance, which you shouldn’t count – we had our doubts about Melvin’s claim.)

(But we wanted to humor him.)

“Well, what kind of smell are you experiencing?”

“A very FUNNY smell!” he said.

We patiently explained a couple of things to Melvin:

• First, there’s nothing funny about asbestos.  Nothing at all.  Sure, these episodes of Airborne Asbestos Is Microscopic are thought by many to be witty and entertaining, but that doesn’t diminish the fact that airborne asbestos itself is no laughing matter.

• Why’s that, you ask?  Well, prolonged exposure to microscopic airborne asbestos particles has been proven to cause certain incurable cancers, such as mesothelioma and asbestosis.

• How’s that, you ask?  When solid asbestos (which is basically a rock) is “disturbed” by anything as simple as a small house fire, a plumbing problem in the basement, or a DIY project gone horribly awry, it breaks into microscopic shards which, over time, embed themselves in your lungs.

• Also, there’s a boat-load of asbestos in this country.  Several boat-loads, in fact.  It’s not illegal to import products made from (or containing) asbestos, so tons of the ugly stuff arrive on our shores every year.  Ceiling and floor tiles, pipe insulation, some wall boards, even your teenage daughter’s fake jewelry might be made from asbestos.

• In fact, lots of MAKEUP actually contains asbestos!  Talcum is another rock which is mined right next to asbestos, so the ugly cancer-causing rock ends up in powdered makeup made with talc.  And since it’s powdered, it’s already “disturbed,” and ready to inhale.

• Finally, Melvin, there are some odors people describe as “funny,” though they might actually be misusing that word:
  • Unlaundered socks
  • Trash
  • Some of your recycling
  • Toddlers
  • The fridge, sometimes
  • The bathroom, sometimes
  • Dogs
  • Many humans you meet
  • Ranch dressing
  • The list goes on.

“So whatever that funny odor is, Melvin, we’re pretty sure it isn’t asbestos.  Airborne Asbestos Is Microscopic, and you can’t smell, taste, feel, hear, or see the stuff in your air.”

“Oh,” he said.

“Come to think of it,” Melvin continued, “it might be my socks.  I’m wearing them every day until the Rockies win their twentieth game.”

We advised Melvin to launder those socks (it could take another two months, maybe longer, for the Rockies to win twenty).  We also told him to call us any time he, or anyone he knew, had a reasonable fear that they might have airborne asbestos.

Yes, Airborne Asbestos IS Microscopic, but there’s nothing funny about it.  It doesn’t look, sound, feel, taste, or smell funny, because it isn’t detectable by our senses at all.  That makes it sneaky-bad!  But never fear – if you have airborne asbestos trying to dig its way into your lungs, give your friends at Asbestos Abatement, Inc. a call.  We can’t tell you what you’re smelling, but we can sure solve your asbestos problem!

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… But Don’t Punish Yourself If You Thought It Wasn’t

The other day, as far as you know, we saw a dude in a nearby parking lot walking around, muttering, and punching himself in the face.

Now, in some parts of town, this is common behavior.  In fact, in those parts of town, it’s weird not to see stuff like this.  But we don’t go to those parts of town.  No, this was happening right in the heart of a nice part of town which we won’t mention, but which rhymes with “Cherry Creek.”

“Whoa, whoa, hang on, Fella!” we said, attempting to come to his aid if necessary.  “What gives?  Do you need help?  Why the self-punishment?”

“I believed a lie!” he said, between punches.  “I thought (POW!) that asbestos (WHAM!) was illegal (ZOWIE!) in this country!”

Lucky for him, he was now in the company of asbestos experts!

“Well, it’s true,” we said, “that is a lie.  (POW!)  Hey, could you stop that for a minute?”

“Why should I?” Fella said.  “I deserve it.  I deserve to be punished.  My house was built in 1975, which really isn’t all that long ago, but I’m sure it’s just loaded with asbestos, since it’s still legal (POW!), and it sure was in 1975.”

After gently restraining his punching arm, we calmly explained to Fella that, while it was true that many people have been led to believe (falsely) that asbestos is totally illegal in the United States, there was no immediate cause for alarm.

We informed him that, while many asbestos-laden materials were used in home construction in 1975, due to the desire to make things more flame-retardant, they weren’t dangerous unless they were “disturbed” by something like a basement flood, a house fire (even a small one), or a DIY project gone bad.

If that were to happen, we continued, then yes, the asbestos mineral could disintegrate into microscopic airborne shards which, with prolonged exposure, could cause incurable diseases like mesothelioma.  But before he could free his fist for another punch, we quickly moved on to the good news.

“The good news is that, even if you suspect there’s a problem with airborne asbestos at your place, it just so happens that we can refer you to an expert who can test your air, so you’ll know for sure.  And if there is a problem, it just so happens that we can help you solve it, and for less than you might think.”

(We said this, knowing full-well that anyone who thinks it’s a good idea to walk around in nice public places like Cherry Creek, boxing with themselves, is likely to think – who knows what? – about the surprising cost of asbestos abatement.)

If this is your first time reading this blog, shame on you, but don’t punch yourself in the face.  There are several key take-aways you can glean from this story, made-up though it is:

• Despite recent baby-step advancements at the federal level, asbestos is still legal in the U.S., at least to be imported, and it still might be all around you.

• Yes, people still sometimes say “Fella” and “What gives.”

• Speaking of baby-step advancements at the federal level, now that the Environmental Protection Agency is under new administration, even those baby steps might be shelved.  This wasn’t in the story, but it’s a good take-away nonetheless.

• When someone is punching a face, even their own, you can imagine cartoon graphics that say things like “POW” and “ZOWIE,” just like they had in the old Batman TV show, if you’re old enough to remember that show, which aired back when people said things like “Fella” and “What gives.”

• Prolonged exposure to airborne asbestos can lead to incurable diseases such as mesothelioma, but if asbestos-containing products are not disturbed, they’re not dangerous.

• Many people think 1975 is not that long ago, but it is half a century.  Still, by ’75, “Fella” had been replaced by “Dude,” and Batman had been replaced by the much more civil Rockford Files.

• You can get your air tested to know for sure whether you have a problem with airborne asbestos.  We didn’t mention it in the above story, but we don’t do the testing ourselves – that would be a conflict of interest.  But we know excellent professional testers to whom we can refer you.

• “Cherry Creek” rhymes with “Cherry Creek.”

• The cost of asbestos abatement ain’t nothin,’ but it’s less than many people think, and it’s certainly less than the cost in health and lifespan of having an asbestos contamination which is not abated.

If you think asbestos is totally illegal in America, you’re mistaken.  But don’t punch yourself in the face.  We would never advocate such a thing.  Well, almost never.  At any rate, the thing to do if you fear you might have a problem with airborne asbestos is to reach out to the friendly, attractive experts at Asbestos Abatement, Inc. for a referral to a top-notch tester.  A good tester can definitely tell you what gives, Fella.

The post Asbestos Is Still Mostly Legal In The U.S. appeared first on Asbestos Abatement, Inc..

Mary had a little lamb,

Its fleece was white as snow.

But it was fake, and made of rock,

Which Mary didn’t know.

The rock, you see, from which it came

Was actually asbestos.

It’s somewhat flame-retardant, yes…

But dangerous?  You guessedus!

One day the Big Bad Wolf came ‘round

And offered Mary solace:

“Asbestos is a rock, you bet,

But costs us fewer dollas!”

“We make all kinds of stuff with it,

From li’l stuffed toys to make-up.

It’s not illegal!  Not quite yet!”

(Though there’s a pending shake-up).

“And while your lamb is in one piece,

Th’asbestos isn’t deadly.”

(Just hope there’s not a wildfire,

Or you’ll sing a different medley!)

The Wolf declined to mention this:

Asbestos in your home, uh,

Even just a little lamb could

Bring mesothelioma.

Mary gave a skeptic’s look.

“I read an awesome bloggie,

That said my toys could make me sick,

From lamb to bear to doggie!”

“It said if there’s a fire, my lamb

Could break in tiny pieces,

That if you breathe enough of them

Could cause your breath to ceases!”

“Oh, come now,” said the Big Bad Wolf,

“That’s just a bunch of hooey.

Besides, you’d see it floating ‘round,

And know your air was screwy.”

“Now I get it,” Mary said,

“And brother, it ain’t cool.

You must think I’m a dummy

Or some kind of April Fool!”

“I know about asbestos.

I’ve read that blog a bit!

I know it’s microscopic, Dude,

Which means you can’t see… it!”

The Wolf then understood he’d not

Pulled wool over her eyes.

“Okay, I’m out,” he said.  “I’ve got

Some pigs to terrorize.”

Mary ditched the rock-made lamb

As soon as she was able.

She got a new one, nice and soft,

And bio-dang-degradable!

The moral of the story’s this:

Don’t be no April Fool.

Get asbestos testing

To be sure your place is cool.

It’s true: Asbestos is all around us, and can be dangerous if it’s “disturbed” by anything from a small house fire to a small basement flood to a small-minded brother-in-law who screwed up your DIY project.  If you have any worries, call us for a referral to a professional tester… and if you have asbestos particles in your air, we’ll get rid of ‘em.  No foolin!’

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