Ally Kotetsu

The Hundred Line 2 -Last Defense Academy- (Extreme & Despair) [Pt. 5]

Ally Kotetsu — Thu, 19 Mar 2026 02:00:00 +0000

2026-03-18.mp4

Gaming

Being Transrace Japanese

Ally Kotetsu — Mon, 16 Mar 2026 13:00:00 +0000

The topic of being transrace keeps coming up on stream, and I keep saying I'm going to write something about it, so fuck it here we are.

You may or may not know that I am transrace. I talk about it a lot, yes, but I talk about MAP stuff more. Why? Just because most radqueer communities tend to lean heavily towards MAP subjects, but what you may not know is that, before I knew I was a MAP and joined MAP communities, I figured out I was transrace and joined transrace communities.

Before we go any further, let's define some things. If you're older, or just a MAP, or someone outside of the radqueer bubble, you may not know what being "transrace" is. It is what it sounds like, identifying as a race differing from your biological ethnicity or ancestry. If you're familiar with transgender people, then it's like being transgender but for race instead. A lot of the community has historically used the term "transracial", but since transracial adoptees were already using this term a lot of transrace people started using alternative terms instead, the most simple being transrace.

So, yes, I am transrace, and have been identifying as such shortly before identifying as a MAP as well. Before joining MAP communities I actually joined transrace subreddits and discords, administrating spaces for other transrace people to get together. Places like r/Transracial are where I met a lot of the radqueers I still talk to today. At the time none of us were radqueer, but as we learned more about it we opened up our minds and realized we weren't separated from it.

I am transrace Japanese (or transjapanese) to be specific. I started questioning so when I was 14 or so, the same time I started questioning my gender and sexuality. One of my first experiences with race dysphoria was hating how dark my skin was. To be fair, my skin isn't quite that dark, but my self image pictures my skin as being very light, to the point where I've questioned if I'm transalbino. The point is, this was a dysphoria that I was starting to experience, and I wondered "if people can identify as other genders, can people identify as other races too?"

That question stayed in my mind, and it did for years. Every so often when I was feeling dysphoric I'd think about it again. At that point I knew I was transgender, so now the idea of being trans something else was even more curious, especially since I'd never heard of the topic coming up in queer spaces. For all I knew, I was alone.

But I wasn't alone, and eventually I found that out. The question finally left my mind, and entered a search box: "transracial." I had quickly discovered that, no, I was not alone. There were other people with the same experiences. People who hated who they were born as and wanted to be someone else. It took me a while, but I eventually made the leap and joined these communities. I made friends there, learned about others' experiences, and learned that there were also people who identified as "transage."

Years before I had learned about therianthropy and otherkinity; questioning MAP stuff at the time I was exploring MAP communities, and now I was learning about all these different types of identities. Slowly it was all coming together. Before long I would officially find the radqueer community and discover that there were a lot of people with diverse orientations and identities. A lot had decided to distance themselves from each other, thinking they should stand on their own and that the others were the ones who really should be frowned down upon in society. But a lot of people also saw what I did, people from all walks of life who were all queer, but for whom society told them they weren't.

That's where I am today, building up that whole community, but once upon a time I was just exploring the edges of it. I'm in deep now, but it's important to step back from the whole and look at its parts now and then, which is what I want to do today. I want to talk about my experiences being transrace, in order to educate those who aren't transrace, to help people who are questioning, and to share who I am with the world.

As mentioned, I am transrace Japanese. I am not biologically Japanese, nor do I have any Japanese ancestry. I am a bit sensitive about my biological ethnicity and ancestry for dysphoria reasons, so I will not touch on that here, all you need to know is that I'm Japanese, and unlike what antis would have you think, no I'm not just some white weeb (not that there's any issue with being white and a weeb.)

My main points of dysphoria are my skin color, eye shape, and facial hair pattern. The latter I never hear anyone talk about. As mentioned, I want to be as pale as realistically possible, I want monolids and more "Asian looking" eyes, and I ideally want no facial hair, but the way my facial hair is is very typical of my biological ethnicity. Japanese people are obviously not all the same, as no people of a race are all alike, but, like every race, there are characteristics shared due to evolution, such as skin tone and facial structure, and those contribute to how I want to look.

It's more than just looks though, I also want to be a part of Japanese culture. I long to know what life is like in Japan, to partake in its media culture, to have Japanese foods, to know Japanese people, etc.

The stereotype is that transjapanese people are people who watched too much anime and became weebs and started to identify as Japanese, but for me (and many others, I presume) it is much the opposite. I actually never really liked anime before, or shows at all for that matter. But after becoming more comfortable with my identity and starting to watch shows more, anime became a way to affirm my identity. Not only that, but Japanese video games as well. I've always liked Japanese music, especially city pop. My exposure to that genre is actually part of what made me seriously consider being transrace. I daydreamed about the idea of moving to Japan, changing my name, becoming one with the population there, and becoming a musician. A silly dream now, but that is obviously something one does not even consider if they aren't transrace.

Other ways I affirm my identity are eating Japanese foods (which is a sliding scale cuz obviously international food in America is gonna be hit and miss), wearing Japanese clothes, studying Japanese culture and history, and going to Japanese adjacent places such as import stores. I would like to learn the language someday, and I predict that that would be extremely affirming to my identity, but alas, learning a language is hard. Someday I will, perhaps it might even make a good stream topic.

A part of my identity that I have more complicated feelings on is how I am attracted to Japanese people; I tend to find Japanese girls to be more attractive than any other race. Some might call this fetishization, but much like other forms of attraction it is something I did not choose, and inherently harms no one.

There is some overlap between being transrace and transage. I don't talk about it a lot but I am transage 16. I have a longing for the school life I left behind when I became an adult, and there is some amount of school culture in Japan through things like school uniforms, kogal subculture, etc. In addition to this I also have a school uniform kink, and as a lifestyle choice (not necessarily a sexual one) I like to wear schoolgirl-esque outfits (oddly enough I'm not a fan of the seifuku; I prefer blazer schoolgirl outfits, or even just skirt + white button up shirt.) I find a lot of joy in playing games or watching anime that take place in schools, wishing I could be one of the students.

My identity is something I have been learning more about over time. In ways I think it has changed, but in other ways I think it's always been like that and I just needed time to find out. Nearly 10 years ago I was just dysphoric and wishing I could live a life in Japan, now I have pride in being transrace, I eat Japanese food, I play Japanese games, and I have people who support me.

My wife is radqueer too, and while it may or may not be transrace, it fully accepts and supports my identity. It makes it happy when I find new ways to affirm my race and feel euphoric. I am out to all my friends as transrace. I'm not quite "out" to everyone else in my life, but they know my name and could look me up and find out if they wanted to.

Coming out is hard. I've done it with everyone I really care about; if I want to be friends with someone then I want our relationship to be built on trust, and trust requires honesty. Some people react worse than others, but the ones that do are the ones that shouldn't be in my life at all. I won't make time anymore for fake friends who won't accept me. That being said, more people would accept it than you think. When I came out to my ex-girlfriend at the time, she had never heard of transrace before (or anything radqueer for that matter), so she was excited to be learning something new and supporting her girlfriend. Unfortunately I was not so lucky with my best friend at the time, who had heard about transrace people already and formed a less than favorable opinion.

I am very glad to have found the transrace community all those years ago, if I never had I never would've found all this. Back then I never thought I'd meet anyone like me in-person, but before that I didn't think there was anyone like me at all. If you had told me back then that I'd be forming in-person communities and helping transrace people (among other radqueers) meet each other I'd have told you you were crazy. But it's true. I held onto hope and it brought me to a better place, a place I hope to help others go. But that is a place you can only find if you start to wander; staying still and hiding will lead you nowhere.

Thank you for reading my post about being transrace! I hope this was informative to both transrace and cisrace people out there about what one person's experiences can look like identifying as another race. It should go without saying but my experiences don't represent the community as a whole, and no two people are going to experience their identity in the same way. Everyone is different, and the spectrum of race is a wide one with lots of overlap.

Stay safe, love yourself, and keep being radical.

- Ally K <3

The Hundred Line 2 -Last Defense Academy- (Extreme & Despair) [Pt. 4]

Ally Kotetsu — Thu, 12 Mar 2026 02:00:00 +0000

2026-03-11.mp4

Gaming

Music Review: Gorillaz - The Mountain

Ally Kotetsu — Mon, 09 Mar 2026 13:00:00 +0000

Whenever a new album from a band I like comes out, I always make a quick little review, where I rate each song on a scale of 1-10 and then determine the mean, median, and mode rating from that set of ratings. I've posted them in the past on social media, but I thought it would be nice to make it an official blog post instead, where I dive further into my thoughts on a record. Depending on how this goes I might continue to do it in the future, I may even do it live or make videos instead. But in the meanwhile the blog format works.

Gorillaz is a band I like alright. I'm not a huge fan of them by any means, but they're neat. I like the experimental nature of the band. Recently they released a new album called "The Mountain." As of writing this paragraph I have yet to listen to it, but it interests me that it has so many tracks, is over an hour in length, and was created independent of Parlophone, a first for the band. I heard iffy things about their previous release, Cracker Island, so I am curious to see what I will think of this. I haven't heard any singles or anything, so I'll be going in completely blind. Without further ado...

Review

Now I have listened to the album three times. My opinions of each track are as follows:

The opening track, The Mountain, is a pleasant intro. It starts off mostly ambient, but then the melody kicks in and it gains a lot more character. I'm not a fan of ambient tracks, so I like that it changes. The callback to Demon Days is very interesting, apparently the vocals used were unused takes from recording Fire Coming Out Of The Monkey's Head. I wonder why Gorillaz decided to do that? Maybe The Mountain is conceptually related to Demon Days? In any case, this is a nice intro track.

The next track, The Moon Cave, is a favorite of mine off this album. 2D does a good job leading it, and his performance is good. The strings are a favorite element of mine, along with the main synth line. Both of them come together to make a familiar sounding, electronic dance beat. But the real interesting part is when the Indian instruments come in (if I knew what they were called I would call them that. I think they're Indian). Though in my opinion, the highlight of this track is the main feature, Black Thought. Not a lot of raps are in triple meter, but he does a great job at making it seem normal. Overall, a great first proper track.

Following is The Happy Dictator. I feel like this track is just alright. I don't really like the "oh what a happy land we live in" parts, I think the song would've been better without them, and if the vocal melodies in the verses were different overall. Other than that it's a good song, it just kind of makes it harder for me to enjoy. The song feels topical to what's going on in the United States, though apparently it was based off of a real dictator of the past. The chorus and the lead into it are probably my favorite parts, and the verses after the first chorus are better than the first ones in my opinion. I like the overdubs on 2D's vocals there. The feature is nice, I think they're doing the bridge, which is cool. Overall, I'd say I like this song, but it's not amazing.

I feel like it's hard to review The Hardest Thing, because it's a perfectly fine into into Orange County, but once again I'm not really a fan of ambient music. I need lots of stuff going on, y'know? The easiest way to rate this song is that I'd say it's a skip, but that's not a reflection on the objective quality of the song, just how much I personally like it.

Orange County is really nice. The whistle and the beat as a whole are nice to just vibe to, it sounds like happiness, which contrast with the down lyrics. Once again the lyrics of this song feel topical to what's happening in the US, but that's probably just indicative of how bad things are here, especially since Gorillaz is based in the UK. The feature, Kara Jackson, is also really good. I love the back and forth her and 2D have. I found this song stuck in my head the other day, whistling to it for a while. I don't consider this a masterpiece of a song, unlike a couple others songs on this record, but it is catchy and pleasant, and is that such a bad quality for a song to have? I think not.

The God of Lying is just alright. It's got a really interesting thing going for it, once again reminding me of the state of the US. I think this is one track where I don't love the feature, though I wouldn't say 2D's performance is much better. The instrumental is the most interesting part of this song, not necessarily amazing, but interesting. Especially during the chorus there's a lot of interesting synth stuff going on in the right and left channels separately. Overall I'd call this track "interesting." Not bad, just very experimental and not my thing.

The Empty Dream Machine is the first track that I really don't care for. For the first while it doesn't seem like it has a lot going for it, just a slow tune, kind of reminiscent of some older Gorillaz stuff. Though the Indian instruments definitely make it unique. The rap part is better, but not as good as the other rap features on this album. I like the Alice in Wonderland reference though! There's also the part at the end where the other features are singing, which is probably the highlight of the song, but it's at the very end and I don't really feel like waiting through the rest of the song to get there, so this is probably another skip. Not bad, but just really not my thing. I feel like that's how I feel about a lot of this album.

Now, The Manifesto, is a terrific track. This is an easy favorite of mine from this record. I have no idea what Trueno is saying, but I wish I did because his performance is so good. He kills it on this beat, which is also killer. I love the emphasis on the downbeat, kind of calls to mind a march, but I'm sure there's a specific genre of music it's emulating. I love the global influence music can have, as we have a Argentine rapper, where rap is a historically black genre originating in the US. All the while the music is created by a British virtual band, with Indian inspirations, and I'm listening to it in the US. Crazy. The hook is great, very catchy. This is one of the few songs where I really love what 2D is doing. The Proof feature is a really nice complement to what the rest of the song does, I love the beat switch too. Some of my favorite lyrics are the "got you beefin' with yo block" lines and what comes afterwards. Rest in peace Big Proof. And just when you think it's done, Trueno comes back and finishes his feature. Ain't much to say about the outro, 2D is still killing it here. The "only automatic now" part is very nice and vibey. Again, this is by far my favorite track.

Following such a terrific track is the Plastic Guru. I get it, that's an act I would hate to follow too. It's not terrific, but it's better than Empty Dream Machine imo, but only by a small amount. I don't really have much to say about this song, it's just okay. Leaves a lot to be desired I think.

Okay, back to a terrific track, we have Delirium. Once again I think 2D's parts leave something to be desired, but they're not bad by any means. The real highlight of this track though is the Mark E. Smith feature, because it's terrific. And not just the vocals, but the beat and everything going on there. Definitely calls to mind Glitter Freeze from Plastic Beach. Though the lyrics are kinda bizarre, and I really wonder what they're about. But then again the song is called "Delirium", so maybe they're not supposed to make any sense. One of my favorites from this album, other than that I don't much else to say.

Next up we have Damascus. This track isn't bad, it's quite nice, but I don't like it nearly as much as the other tracks with similar things going on. Though I do really like the back and forth between Yasiin Bey and Omar Souleyman. Just like The Manifesto, I don't know what Omar is saying, but his performance is really good, so I wish I knew. The global influences of this album are really nice, as this is a type of music I usually wouldn't listen to. The hook is also nice, and the fresh at the end is kind of funny. Apparently the vocals were unused from Plastic Beach, no wonder this album reminds me of Plastic Beach so much. That's all I have to say about this song, it's really good, but not up there with The Manifesto.

I think I like The Shadowy Light better than some of the other tracks just because it's got a pleasant thing going for it, but once again I don't find it nearly as interesting as many of the other tracks that are faster and just have more going on. This is one of the few songs where I prefer 2D's parts over the rest of it. There's another feature in another language, but this time it's a lot slower, so I have less interest in it. The shadowy light starts a run to the rest of the album where the tracks are all slow, which really affects my opinion of the album. Anyways, this one is just alright, not bad.

Casablanca isn't very interesting imo. Though I'm biased because, as mentioned, I like the faster songs with more going on. I'm sure it's a great track if you like that slow sort of thing, but I just don't. The instrumental also leaves a lot to be desired I think. Overall, I'd say it's my least favorite on this album, almost bordering to actively disliking it. Definitely a skip.

Almost at the end we have The Sweet Prince. Still not quite my cup of tea, but I like it a lot more than some of the other slow tracks. It's a pleasant listen. I like the guitar part a lot, and the outro is cool, reminds me of beat in The Manifesto. I'd say this is a good song. It may be slow, but every album needs a slow track, especially right before the last track.

Finally, we have The Sad God. It's a bit on the slow side, but I like it a lot better than the three songs before it. It reminds me a lot of Pirate Jet from Plastic Beach. I actually quite like this song, it feels like a reprise of The Mountain title track, which I already liked, but it fleshes out the elements and puts a nice beat behind them. The rap seems kind of out of place, but it is good. There's a lot of Black Thought features, which reminds of all the Del the Funky Homosapien features on the first Gorillaz album, I wonder if it's maybe supposed to represent Russell? I'm sure there's an answer, but I don't quite follow the Gorillaz lore, which there is a lot of, so I don't know.

Overall I'd call this album really hit and miss. Because there are some parts that I LOVE, while there are other parts that are just boring to me. 2D does an alright job, but I think the features tend to outperform him on this record. His performance is good, but the melodies usually leave something to be desired. There's also the few slow tracks, which aren't bad, but I just don't personally like them. This album reminds me of Plastic Beach a surprising amount, but to be fair I haven't listened to anything newer by Gorillaz, so it's possible there are other Gorillaz albums that this sounds like.

Doing some more research into the album, apparently a lot of the features are posthumous, which plays interestingly into the album's themes of death. It must feel weird to work with audio of deceased collaborators, which I'm sure reinforced a lot of the album's writing. However, the theme of death is usually a somber one, whereas this album takes the happier route, which I think is refreshing. Death is a scary thing, but we are alive right now, and we should make the most of it by being happy as much as we can be.

Now that I have reviewed every track, following is the numerical score of the album:

Rating

The Mountain - (7/10)
The Moon Cave - (9/10)
The Happy Dictator - (7/10)
The Hardest Thing - (6/10)
Orange County - (8/10)
The God of Lying - (7/10)
The Empty Dream Machine - (6/10)
The Manifesto - (10/10)
The Plastic Guru - (6/10)
Delirium - (9/10)
Damascus - (8/10)
The Shadowy Light - (6/10)
Casablanca - (5/10)
The Sweet Prince - (6/10)
The Sad God - (8/10)

Mean - (7.2/10) - Taking into account the good and bad tracks, the average score is just above good.
Median - (7/10) - Despite most of the tracks just being okay, there are a lot of good ones, and that pushes the median to being good.
Mode - (6/10) - But most tracks are just okay. Not bad, but I'm probably not gonna go out of my way to listen to them on their own, which brings down the album's score as a whole.

Conclusion

This album was definitely worth the listen. It's available on streaming platforms everywhere, as well as Bandcamp, and on physical media such as CDs. You should listen to it! Jamie Hewlett has said that he wanted to create an album that was an intentional experience to listen to fully, and not just something you casually pick parts out of to have on in the background. To quote the Wikipedia article:

Hewlett said people listening to the album are "supposed to listen to it from beginning to end", saying that they were "trying to bring back that idea of taking time to invest in something, instead of this culture of scrolling"

A lot of the collaborators also seem moved to have appeared on this album, and provide insightful quotes as to how much it means to them. To quote Wikipedia again:

"In one part of 'The Shadowy Light', I [Asha Bhosle] sing, 'Chal mere raahi, gehra hain paani, mujhe jaana hain uss paar.' I'm telling the boatman to ferry me across the river, which is my life's journey: my birth, my relationships, my dedication to music, my achievements, my duties as a mother, daughter, sister, wife and Indian. The boatman is a metaphor for my music, which has guided me across this river of life. When I get to the other side, my journey will be complete and I will attain moksha. If you listen carefully, you will be able to discern thousands of sounds floating around us. I shall become one of them. This freedom to become one with nature is what awaits me on the other side of the river."

Music is a powerful thing, and it requires a lot of work to make it that way. The themes of this album were inspired by Damon and Jamie's experiences in life, the grief they had been through, the places they had traveled, and the people they had met. Music has a way of being able to take complex human experiences and transforming it into art. And this album is Gorillaz's latest piece of art.

I'll stick with my rating, but I do recommend listening to it, the way that its creators intended it to be listened to.

The Hundred Line 2 -Last Defense Academy- (Extreme & Despair) [Pt. 3]

Ally Kotetsu — Thu, 05 Mar 2026 03:00:00 +0000

2026-03-04.mp4

Gaming

The End of an Era

Ally Kotetsu — Mon, 02 Mar 2026 14:00:00 +0000

Beyond the Plus is dead, long live Beyond the Plus.

In case you haven't heard, members voted to disband Beyond the Plus last month. My feelings on the matter are complicated. I feel like I failed, yet I feel like it's not necessarily my fault. In my eyes, Bt+ was my life's work. It began conception years ago, and it finally formed into something real last year. It hurt to watch what I built slowly turn to rubble, but it was destined to happen eventually.

I thought the community was ready for something public like Beyond the Plus, and now I think I was wrong. Which is strange, because everyone seemed so excited. Everyone in the world was rooting for public community to be a thing that worked out, and all of our members did too, after all they found out about us because of said publicity. I thought that excitement meant it would work out, but I think a lot of people didn't actually think out what publicity really meant.

People wanted us to be out and proud, but when the news articles started coming out people got scared, and for good reason. But you can't have your radcake and eat it too, and I feel like a lot of the community wants everything good that publicity will bring and to filter out all the bad, which just isn't possible. I thought this was something all of our members would've thought of already, but it seems they didn't. I told them we could make things as safe as possible for them, but they didn't realize that there would be an inherent risk, and once that veil was tattered they saw things for how they really were and decided that a public org like this isn't how they wanted things to be run.

Which is fair, but the whole point of Bt+ was to reach out to people who didn't already have community, that's why we were public in the first place. Not to campaign for our rights, like all the news articles said, but to reach out to people who may be closeted and not have community. I thought a public organization was the way to give that to people, but now the people who found community through us have decided it was not, and I don't know how to feel about that. But, regardless, the org is for the members, and if they don't like how it's being run then they I should listen to them. We could have continued and just let everyone who didn't want to be public leave, but the trend shows that most everyone who found us through publicity would likely be against that publicity later, so I think that would just be delaying the inevitable.

And it wasn't just our members who wanted us to disband, but virtually everyone in Seattle, even other radqueers. The only people who wanted us to stay loud, proud, and public, were me, vi, and one of our members. Back in December we started gaining attention from Soyjak Party, and the aftermath of death threats and doxxing caused half of our staff to leave. From there, the local queers started hating us more and more, and soon the threat of "disappear or we'll make you go away" started coming from people in our own community who didn't want the heat that we were bringing. They saw us not as a sanctuary, but as a threat. In retrospect I should've known people weren't ready for Bt+.

I'm left wondering where to go from here. I want to help the community, I really do, but I don't know how. We have a loneliness epidemic, our people need to form real, in-person connections. Maybe not necessarily through something public, but they need to go beyond the internet and find out what real community looks like. If Bt+ isn't how to do that, then I think we just need to become braver. We need to face what we fear in order to form community, whether it's private or public. We will never be accepted if we don't.

But things are scary right now. The fascist regime is growing stronger, ICE is rounding people up, the surveillance increases everyday. Nazis have become mainstream again, we are living in a 21st century Nazi regime. I thought that people could be brave and all stand to fight together, but instead what I found was infighting, witchhunting, and paranoia. We either have the option to stand up to fascism and not let it impact our way of life, or let the fascists win, going back to how things were 100 years ago. It seems like the latter is what's going to happen.

I need to take a break from activism to think more about what activism truly is. I've said before that the idea of activism is a trap, and I think that's true now more than ever. I thought Bt+ was the best form of activism our community had, and everyone who wasn't a part of it thought so too, but it seems like our members disagreed, and that's okay, that's just how things are. The world isn't ready for activism like this. We will only be ready once we have those private in-person communities, once we stop using the internet as a substitute for a real life, and once we learn to be a little braver and face the risks necessary for networking and pushing our people forward.

I thought Bt+ could bring our Stonewall, and maybe that was selfish of me. I hoped that never would've happened, I did everything I could to protect our members, but I always knew that their safety wasn't 100% guaranteed. I thought they knew that too, but I was wrong. I never wanted anything bad to happen, but I thought that if it did then our people would stand together proudly and fight whoever told us we weren't allowed to exist, and that that would bring actual progress to our movement. But that was never going to happen, and I suppose I never should've wanted it to happen.

This is the end of an era. A new one will begin soon, I just don't know when. I know this isn't the end of the radqueer cause, but I'm back to the drawing board. I'm going to continue writing to my blog, live streaming, and existing. Honestly I've always thought of myself as a content creator and only started doing activism out of necessity. I don't intend on disappearing, I just need to think more about what this community really needs, what I want, and where the overlap is. I thought I knew better and could push everyone towards my vision, but now I see that I should've been working with people where they were at, and not trying to push them into deep waters they weren't ready for.

Activism is going to be a community effort, and seeing the state of the community makes it hard for me to think that's possible. How are we supposed to earn ground when our entire movement is based off of Tumblr blogs, fedi instances, and Discord servers? How are we supposed to fight together when our community is so split up? How are we supposed to fight for our rights when the slightest attention from antis makes us want to run and hide? I wanted to set an example for the community about what a real life could look like out of the closet, but everyone more influential than me is pushing people to do the opposite.

I don't consider Bt+ a failure, it taught me a lot, especially where the community was at. I had assumed more people were where I was at, brave and ready to die for the cause. I know that's not true now.

If you take anything away from this blog post, then let it be what I have said so many times already. If you want to see change in this community, then make it happen. Not through activism, but through living life as who you really are. Community is a support net to catch you when you fall, so when you decide to take off the mask you have people to protect you of things get rough. The internet has helped our cause but it's also hurt it in so many ways. We've let anonymity and "safety" push us into comfortable loneliness, and now we don't know how to get out of that. We must all get out of this hole we have dug for ourselves before it becomes 6 feet deep.

- Ally K <3

(P.S. Please take my survey! I want to learn more about where our community is really at and what we want to see happen.)

The Big Radqueer Survey Out Now!

Activism is a word that gets thrown around radqueer circles a lot, it's a concept that our community latches onto, hoping that someday "activism" will save us. We see a lot of people (including myself, admittedly) calling themselves activists, and they wear that title like a badge of honor, garnering respect from people in the community that look up to them, hoping they'll be their savior. Activism is indeed a real thing, but I think the way our community has turned it into a buzzword does more harm than good.

The idea of activism is an appealing one: a few brave souls out there will put it all on the line. They'll brave doxxing and death threats because they provide some amount of good to the radqueer community, good that the community envisions will lead to a future where radqueers across the globe can all be free and accepted. These activists put a lot of work into their cause, and we cheer them on in support to ensure that they'll keep doing so.

This community tends to define activism pretty loosely. If I asked you to describe it, how would you? Would you say that activism is running a blog? Is it existing openly as yourself? Is it arguing with antis online? These are just a few things that people tend to put under the definition of activism, but when we look at activists in real life, there's a stark difference. Activists in real life are ones who fight for a cause, volunteering all their free time into it, collaborating with others to make a change. I'm not saying that what we do isn't real activism, but there's a difference between, say, running a blog and protesting bad legislature.

The point I'm trying to make is that, in our community, activism has lost its meaning. It's gone from a word that implies furthering actual social change, to a word that describes doing something, anything. And it is better than nothing, I'm glad we have people like this in our communities. I'm not saying we should all be out there holding signs protesting age of consent laws, but I think the way activism has become a buzzword has harmed the actual meaning of the word, and its created a goalpost that's a lot closer to where we already are than it should be.

But I think the biggest harm activism does is distract people from the real battle. We think that a brave few activists are going to fight for the rights of our community, and that by arguing online and running social media websites we're making a difference. And we are making a difference, but that difference is never going to bring us to where we need to be. No amount of activism will ever take us from where we are now to the future we want to be in.

Stonewall didn't happen because of gay activist groups. In fact, gay activist groups like ILGA and NAMbLA formed after Stonewall. Stonewall wasn't an act of activism, and it surely wasn't started by a select few people. Stonewall was led by a community that was tired of hiding. People weren't trying to make a difference, they were trying to live authentic lives.

I've mentioned before something that I've noticed in this community, the way people rely on our leaders to do everything for them. We think that leaders are people who fight our battles, when they're really people who lead our battles. This line of thinking is a trap that tricks us into thinking it's okay to do nothing. We think that if some people are being brave and doing what needs to be done, then we don't.

Some hear this and think that what I mean is that we all need to do activism, but that's not what I'm talking about. The fact of the matter is that we're never going to get anywhere if we just wait for our leaders to fight our battles for us. If we trust them, we must follow in their example, because our community isn't going to gain acceptance if we don't. If our community leaders are out there, being brave and forming real, in-person connections, then we should be too. This isn't activism, it's just living an authentic life.

Another misconception people have is that we have to change the whole world. We set our goals really high, try as hard as we can to reach them, and then get burnt out when doing so proves impossible. Change doesn't happen at a global scale, just look at how many places it's still illegal to be gay in. I know I mention Stonewall a lot, but look at the effects a small, local event like Stonewall had. The people there weren't trying to change the world, but when they had to fight, the impact was heard around the world. Our activism cannot start on the global scale, we have to start small, and then we can try to scale things larger, but if Stonewall is any example then we probably won't even have to try to make it big, it'll get big anyways.

Also, on the topic of Stonewall, this is something I'm guilty of, but a lot of people idolize the idea of "having our Stonewall." I think a lot of the people who do don't know the history as well as they should, all they know is what happened because of it. This is clear in the case with a lot of queer people in the modern day, who didn't ever have to live through a time where being queer was illegal. Radqueers idolize the good things that came from Stonewall, wanting to have the effects that it brought without acknowledging the sacrifices that created it. Stonewall wasn't just some event that led to gay pride, it was a riot started by queer people when their worst fears of police came to pass. If we want something like Stonewall, we have to acknowledge what really happened and know that if we want our own rights we have to do the same thing. But as it is we idolize the good parts of Stonewall, the thing that its led to 50 years later, instead of what actually happened and the bravery of the community that made it possible.

Additionally, the internet isn't doing enough for us. It's done a lot of good, but I think a lot of harm as well. By giving people the chance to be anonymous and safe, we've completely lost sight of the dangerous conditions we need to brave in order to achieve acceptance. The internet will never bring us freedom, we must form in-person communities and support networks, but in-person community will never be 100% safe. As long as people choose to be safe and anonymous, we will never have our acceptance. Acceptance comes through changing minds, and that starts by living as our authentic selves. People are much more receptive to radqueer topics when it's a friend introducing them to it. When it's online, if someone is saying something they don't agree with, they just won't read it.

The idea of being our authentic selves in real life is scary, but we have ways to make it less so. Making radqueer friends, or even allies, is a great way to do so. Before they had their rights gay people created symbols and dogwhistles to identify each other. It was a risk to do so, but they didn't have any other choice if they wanted to beat loneliness. We have the symbols and flags, we can do the same thing. We also have the internet, which is a great help to meeting people. I started meeting lots of people online once I put my location out there. I know it's scary to do so, but it's something we're gonna have to do sooner or later if we want to live our own authentic lives. Additionally, many think that everyone is out to get us, but that's not true. I would say I know more allies than radqueers, you're safer than you'd think. Remember, there's a lot of us out there. Having friends and people who support us creates safety nets. If we get doxxed, we have people to protect us.

The internet is helpful, but all it will ever be is a supplement. We must look at history and face the truth: has a single civil rights movement ever succeeded because of the internet? If the answer is no, then maybe we should acknowledge that and look at what has worked throughout history. We must follow the example of people like Rosa Parks who decided they'd had enough, and did the right thing even when it was dangerous, and Martin Luther King Jr., who fought bravely to lead his people. Though we must not forget that these people did not do all the work for their movements. Rosa Parks was not the only one to do the bus boycotts, she was just the first, and when people saw the example of her bravery, they decided to join in because they knew they had the power to make a change as a collective. These are the people that history remembers because they were important, but we let that blind us to the fact that they didn't work alone. Thousands of people fought for the rights of people of color, people who's names will be forever lost to history. We have to remember this when we're fighting for our own rights.

I've seen where our people are, we aren't ready for real activism. We won't be for a long time. I'm not asking people to make a change because I know people don't just change like that. I'm just asking us to change how we look at things and compare it to what has actually worked. We must look at history and think critically about what will earn us the future we deserve.

Gaming

Systemism

Ally Kotetsu — Wed, 07 Jan 2026 21:31:15 +0000

https://allykotetsu.com/files/systemism.pdf

Happy New Year!

Ally Kotetsu — Thu, 01 Jan 2026 14:00:00 +0000

For the upcoming new year, I want to reflect on my goals and what I would like to change. I've been thinking a lot lately about what I want my public presence to be like and how I want to focus on that more. Especially trying to blend in-person things with my online presence. Here are my thoughts so far:

Recently I've made some changes to this website, some for the better and some probably for the worse, but it's very experimental and will change a lot over time. Hopefully with little changes here and there it will eventually settle into how it's supposed to look: clean and digital. I want to focus more on my website and turn it into the hub for Ally happenings. Obviously I make blog posts here, but I want to do more. Once I have the money to do so I'll be posting my stream archives here, and hopefully some shorter-form videos as well. I've been thinking a lot lately about making NSFW content, so I might experiment with that. Check back on my website every once in a while to see if there are any new changes!

Another thing I started putting on my website is my music! There's only one song so far, but hopefully over time I'll start to release more. My goal right now is to make a couple more songs and release them on an EP, and then make 6 or so more songs after that and make a mixtape to share around. You may or may not know, but music is one of my primary passions, way above activism and blogging and all that. I hope to be able to spend some more time doing it this year. My music is posted to all streaming services, but is also mirrored here.

I currently stream once a week and I'd like to be doing that more. Ideally someday I'd be streaming like every other day, but I think for now my next goal is just twice a week. I probably won't start doing that until I get a job (that way I won't have to change my streaming schedule too much), but I hope to start doing it more before the year ends. It would give me an opportunity to mix up what I stream more, such as doing gaming sometimes and then, say, doing stuff in the kitchen or making music at other times. In addition I'm trying to make streaming a better experience with more visual additions and whatnot, but due to higher viewer count lately I've also had to turn down stream quality. Once I have some more spending money (I'm broke rn, please donate if you like to watch me stream!) I'll upgrade my server that way it can handle more viewers at higher quality.

As far as my blog goes I think it's fine how it is, though I think I should stick to a schedule for posting, maybe post on like the first Monday of the month or something like that, idk. Though I feel like my blog posts have gotten kind of one note, with such a big focus on community building, so I'd like to try and diversify that a little. I could also start doing themed blog posts like album/movie/TV show reviews or something like that. If there's anything you'd like to see me write about then either comment or Contact me about it!

That should about do it for covering my online content. I hope by the end of the year to be doing more, but we'll see how things go. Life is hard to predict.

As far as Bt+ stuff goes, I'm having a hard time at the moment keeping up motivation for it, but I will try my hardest. My long term goal at the moment is to form a strong legal structure, bring in some more board members, and then someday have someone take my position so I can focus on content creation full-time, but that will probably be years down the line so I'm not really planning to do that just yet. There's been a lot going on lately Bt+-related, but I'm committed to keeping it going, no matter how tough it gets. We've made a positive impact and I want to continue doing so. It's just expensive, we've been losing a lot of members, and there's a lot of local drama. But hopefully soon we can get it to be stronger and more self-sufficient.

As far as other in-person stuff goes I'm not really sure what to do. I went to exist more in public to fight back against misinformation towards Bt+, and also to just establish my existence in Seattle, but I'm not really sure how to do that. This is another thing where if you have any suggestions I'd like to hear them.

2025 was a crazy year. If you had told me that Bt+ would go from a dream to reality I would've thought you were crazy. It's also crazy seeing people mentioning me in blog posts, or writing about my org. Last year was a good year, but I'm committed to making 2026 even better. If I'm honest I'm a bit scared of what this year will bring, but whatever trials and tribulations come my way I know my community has my back.

Happy new year, everyone!

- Ally K <3

Contact

Ally Kotetsu — Fri, 26 Dec 2025 23:39:31 +0000

This is the form to contact me. I will not respond to every message, so if you want me to reply then please describe what you want in detail. For the most part I am not interested in just chatting, but if you live near Seattle then I might be more receptive to it!

form.antibot { display: none !important; } You must have JavaScript enabled to use this form.

Christmas Eve (Terraria)

Ally Kotetsu — Thu, 25 Dec 2025 02:00:00 +0000

2025-12-24.mp4

Gaming

The Hundred Line -Last Defense Academy- (Extreme & Despair) [Pt. 4]

Ally Kotetsu — Thu, 18 Dec 2025 02:00:00 +0000

2025-12-17.mp4

Gaming

Scare Tactics

Ally Kotetsu — Thu, 04 Dec 2025 23:51:40 +0000

We live in an era where it's easier than ever to spread our message, but with this comes its drawbacks; it's also a time where it's easier than ever for our enemies to intimidate us. Instead of spitting in our faces, they have the luxury of cursing us out over the internet. Instead of stalking us and threatening the places we live, they dox us and tell the whole world who we really are. And instead of throwing hands in-person, all they have to do is tell us that they would if they could, and that's enough to put us into hiding.

I mean, it's only reasonable to do. If someone is threatening violence against you, then of course you want to take actions to keep yourself safe. And so, along with the invention of the internet, came spaces where people could protect themselves against violence. And with that added protection, came the people who made us feel like we had to hide, and while our use of the internet is to find support, theirs was to use scare tactics to scare us into hiding even further.

Anonymity is an amazing luxury of the internet. Before that, anonymity was only possible in certain scenarios, like if you posted to a bulletin board, and while you can consider the internet a "certain scenario", it's become so ingrained into everyone's lives that it's just a part of the way we live now. A significant part of everyone's life now has the option to be anonymous. Many choose this opportunity to lead double lives, where they post on websites like Instagram the parts of their life that are not confidential, parts they want to share with their friends and family. And for the more controversial aspects of one's life (we've all got them), we choose to spend time in anonymous places like imageboards, forums, and social media.

But with this anonymity comes a certain privilege that humans have never had, possibly for good reason. Yes, they threaten to take this anonymity away and make steps towards it everyday, and it should be a human right to have the option to be anonymous, but why is this something we care about? In some cases it's for very good reason, like groups of people who are persecuted by their government, or who live in parts of the world that are more intolerant than others. But for the most part people want to secure their privacy out of a feeling that they should not be tracked by our superiors. In a post 9/11 world with cameras everywhere, website ID uploads, and age estimation verifications, it should be obvious why we want our privacy. But for some, this privacy is "necessary" because of threats we've merely imagined to be real.

And obviously the threat to MAPs and radqueers isn't entirely imaginary, we've all heard horror stories of what can happen to the bravest of us, but is this issue really prevalent enough to be "real"? There once was a time where people couldn't hide who they really were. If you wanted to meet other queer people, you had to go out there and, well, meet other queer people. With symbols, mutual friends, and secret phrases we discovered ways to keep ourselves safe while exploring the dangers of an intolerant world, but it still carried an innate risk. After all, it's impossible to find true friends without seeing which friends are real and which are fake. These days we are able to be safer, and use the internet as a way to protect ourselves, but at what cost?

Harvard says that "According to the American Perspectives Survey, the percentage of U.S. adults who report having no close friends has quadrupled to 12% since 1990". Is it any coincidence that this is when the internet came into existence? "For decades, Americans consistently spent about 6.5 hours a week with friends. Then, between 2014 and 2019, that number plummeted to just four hours per week." I have online friends that have basically no friends in real life, and if they do they are unstable relationships with people who may or may not still be friends if they learned they were radqueer. The more of us that choose to make the internet our real lives, the more we lose sight of the importance of in-person communities and friendship. Some may consider online friendships to be real, and that is fair, but as someone who's experienced both in-person and online relationships, in-person is better. All my friends agree that in-person communities save lives. People consider the internet to be a safe place because it's where we can't be attacked, but in real life, the risks that come with being out are mirrored by the support of real connections, and no matter how "safe" the internet is, the loneliness it brings is deadly.

Tangent aside, back to the topic, people are scared of getting doxxed. We're so comfortable with our anonymity that we're terrified of that anonymity getting taken away. Some use this anonymity as a way to skirt the law, which only furthers the scare of doxxing. It's the main reason why our people are lonely. We think that if we put where we live on our social media pages then we'll get doxxed and harassed. And half of that is true, you probably will get doxxed. Our enemies are out there waiting for opportunities to expose us, but the other half is not true.

Antis, transphobes, paramisiacs—whoever—hate you, but they hate you because they are scared of you. These people exist in the real world just like you do, but in the same way that radqueers are scared to go out and be confronted by them, antis are scared of confronting us. They think we're predators, monsters, abusers, but we know that those labels really apply to them. We're scared of them for that reason, and it means they're scared of us too.

So in much the same fashion that we use the internet and anonymity to protect ourselves, they do too. They hide behind usernames and anonymous forums to spread their hatred of us. They threaten to dox us, and when they've doxxed us they threaten to hurt us. But consider this, everything you say online is something you wouldn't dare say in public, and if they're just as scared as you as you are of them, doesn't that mean that they're too scared to make good on their own threats?

I've seen it first hand. I've been doxxed, I had the dox shared around my community. I got death threats online, I've had people who used to be my friend call me a monster. Now with Bt+ here in Seattle the rumors are spreading, and I hear things people say about us. And with all this doxxing, lack of anonymity, and unapologetic activism I do, nothing has happened.

I have been doxxed at least like four times at this point. I have friends who've been doxxed. I know people online who've been doxxed. And y'know what? They're all still standing. Some continue to be scared, but the ones who aren't have learned that all doxxing is is an opportunity to take off the mask of anonymity, and embrace what we have lost out on: in-person community, having friends we can trust, and being our true, authentic selves.

Antis and radqueers are both scared of each other. This post is not to say you shouldn't be scared, rather, it's to say you should be brave. Threats by antis are usually pretty empty, but once in a blue moon they aren't, and those are risks we need to accept. By taking off our masks and showing everyone who we really are, we can find community, and with that community comes safety, more safety than the internet could ever provide.

We've let scare tactics push our rights back into the stone age. Once upon a time we built in-person communities with hundreds of members, and when antis confronted us we accepted that risk as necessary to furthering our rights. (See Stonewall). But when things got too scary we went to the internet and never came back. And so along with "safety", came the emboldening of the ones who sought to scare us all along. And every day those scare tactics push us further and further back into the closet.

I fear everyday for my life. Once again, I am not saying to be unafraid, but to be brave. Bravery is persisting through fear. And we all need to be brave if we want this movement to succeed. And I hope it's a little easier to be brave once you learn that the monster in your closet was really a shadow all along.

- Ally K <3

The Hundred Line -Last Defense Academy- (Extreme & Despair) [Pt. 3]

Ally Kotetsu — Thu, 04 Dec 2025 02:00:00 +0000

2025-12-03.mp4

Gaming

The Hundred Line -Last Defense Academy- (Extreme & Despair) [Pt. 2]

Ally Kotetsu — Thu, 20 Nov 2025 02:00:00 +0000

2025-11-19.mp4

Gaming

Something's Gotta Change

Ally Kotetsu — Fri, 14 Nov 2025 08:00:00 +0000

What is the fediverse? Most people would say that it's just social media, a place where people can run microblogging instances that all federate with each other, and where people can post cat videos, selfies, and "the weekend." But to radqueers, paraphiles, and MAPs, it's community.

It's not just the fediverse, our people use Tumblr, Twitter, Bluesky, Discord, or anything else they can not be banned immediately from, but the "pediverse" specifically has become the place where MAPs have decided to centralize the MAP movement. It gives them control over what their spaces are like, but it also offers decentralization, meaning that each instance, despite having different rules and culture, can interact with each other. It's very neat, and I like federated social media a lot, despite its problems.

The pediverse started with nnia.space, as far as I am aware. An instance started by Lecter and co for non-normative identities to exist in harmony, as long as they're not pro-c. From there, more instances popped up because some didn't like the restrictions, and some wanted to use different software. But the pediverse isn't where social media for MAPs started.

Before that was MAP Twitter, and literally any other social media platform that MAPs used. Discord being a popular one as well. But we can walk it back even further and say that the pediverse started with forums such as VoA/VirPed. And way before that, all the way back in '95, we can say it started with BoyChat, the first internet forum for childlovers.

I probably sound like a broken record at this point, but I believe BoyChat started a domino effect that led to the isolation that MAPs and other radqueers experience today. BC started as a way for boylovers to communicate over the internet, but as the real world became more of a tumultuous place for them, the internet became their safehaven.

And this isn't limited to America either. Lolicon and related art in Japan was booming in the 70's and 80's, but when they had their own catastrophe (the Otaku Murderer), internet forums conveniently became a thing to hide on shortly after. Starting with forums for anime such as Neon Genesis Evangelion, kodocons would start to move online to talk about their loli and shota. There even used to be a convention dedicated to sharing shotacon doujinshi, but, along with every other trace of a culture more tolerant of minor attraction, it too disappeared as its members became scared of the climate. And to this day it's come full circle, sites like Twitter banning artists who have since had to move to fediverse sites like Baraag in order to share their kodocon artwork. And here we are again, back talking about the fediverse.

The internet isn't only a place for MAPs to find community. It's been a place for other radqueers, otherkin, fandoms, and more to come together. Which makes sense, it's an easy way to find people like you, and it makes you feel like a part of something. Sounds great, right?

But the internet as a whole, especially social media, has had some devastating effects on beings' social lives. I can be a boomer and say all we do is use our phones, but the more realistic take is that people aren't forming in-person communities as much anymore, instead relying on where its safe. People are addicted to social media algorithms, getting dopamine when they see a notification, or feeling good when the amount of strangers interested in their posts hits a certain amount of digits. And I am aware that this applies to me too, I'm not making any judgement. We're all addicted to social media and the internet and the safety it provides.

But something's gotta change.

When I started meeting people in person, it truly opened my eyes to how important community was. When I met people who had never met other radqueers before, it opened their eyes too. My entire circle of IRL friends will tell you that in-person community is the most important thing, that it saved our lives. That it's worth the danger of getting doxxed because we have people who've got each others' backs.

But the entire internet will tell you that it's better to pretend. They'll tell you you should never give any personal identifying information out. They say that your friends will never be accepting, and you have to pretend to be someone you're not around the people you know IRL for the rest of your life. It sucks, but that's just being a para, right? We want acceptance, but the fact of the matter is that everyone will always hate us, so let's just live double lives, one in person, and one on the internet. And let's get to the point where our real life isn't even real anymore, because we aren't. Let's pretend to be someone we're not, but on the internet we can be who we truly are. We can make hundreds of friends who truly know us, who like the same things we do. Let's do that. That's what I thought at one point too.

And it's not just me, I've heard tell of groups that hold meetups for dozens of MAPs across the globe. Or radqueer communities popping up on the east coast. It's not just me and Bt+, there are radqueer groups popping up everywhere. Your neighbor could be one, for all you know. But you'll never know that, because online you use a fake name and an anime profile picture, and in real life you nod along when that one friend tells you how much they hate pedophiles.

We need to stop pretending. We need to be our real selves. Living a double life isn't protection, it's turning you into a chronically online being who isn't even real in the real world. It's getting you even more addicted to social media, and even more scared of antis. People online say that it's a death sentence if you even so much as use your real name online. They act like if you get doxxed then your life is over. They've got you thinking that your neighbor is gonna kill you if they so much as see you wearing something with colors vaguely resembling the MAP flag. But it's not true.

Maybe in Florida, or Texas, or other countries like the middle east, where being gay still gets you killed. But in blue states, I am living proof that getting doxxed is not the end. Katie Cruz is living proof that getting doxxed is not a death sentence. Connor Weston is. Tom O'Caroll is. There are dozens of people out there who have been "exposed", but instead of antis showing up to their house to kill them, what they found instead was people being like "hey, I actually live near you, do you wanna meet up sometime?" At least, that's what happened to me, but I know that other people I've personally talked to who have been doxxed have experienced the same thing.

Hell, I go to the park every other week to advertise my organization Beyond the Plus, and you know what the worst thing that happened was? Someone putting down our pamphlet and walking away. Yet, we get people on Tumblr asking how we stay safe, as if just going out like this is gonna get us hatecrimed.

Beyond the Plus has been doing wonders for the local radqueer community. I've watched multiple people who had never met other radqueers before form friend groups with each other. And Bt+ isn't even just MAPs, we have allies as well.

My wife's whole friend group are MAP allies, even down to pro-c. Back when I worked an old job, I came out to a coworker as transrace, they were cool with it. When I told them I was a MAP their response was "cool, I have a friend who's a zoophile." I have family members who don't care, I have friends who are good allies to MAPs.

People think that MAPs are all alone, but guess what, we make up approximately 5% of the population, probably way more if you include ephebophiles. That means Seattle alone likely has 38,238 MAPs. NAMbLA had 1,000 boylovers alone, and Bt+ is already 2% there after only being active for a few months. We're your neighbors, teachers, friends, government officials. MAPs are everywhere.

Yet, antis tell us that we're all alone. That no one would accept us if they knew who we were. That they'll kill us if they figure out how. So we lurk on social media websites, hide behind masks, and pray to God that no one ever connects the dots.

Something's gotta change.

Our dependence on social media will be our downfall. Movements like Stonewall happened because gay people braved the risk of violence in order to make community. So long as we stay online and never take any chances, our movement will never succeed. We can put out all the infographics we want, argue with antis until our fingers bleed, but all the offense we put out isn't going to put us any further along. What's going to save us is real, in-person community. It's risky, but it's our jobs to make that risk as low as possible.

The current culture of the MAP movement is opsec-based. It's encouraging people to not use their real names, not share pictures, use a VPN, use Tor, and not put themselves at risk in any way. And a lot of these are good things, you should use a VPN, you should try to be safe online, cuz when the fascists rise up, they're going to raid our servers to try and find us. But there's a point where safety becomes detrimental, because the best safety someone can have is someone else. Someone to take them in if they get kicked out, someone to give them food if they get fired and can't afford it. But the way things are, we're encouraged not to meet up with anyone, to be as private as possible. Because the low risk of getting doxxed and then also getting hatecrimed somehow outweighs the benefit of true community.

It's your choice how you want to live your life, but everyday I see people on pedi make the same mistakes I did. Thinking that the best use of our time is to stay anonymous and shit talk antis. But I know now that I was wrong, and I'm not the only one who's realized this.

Something's gotta change, but change starts with you. I've already done my part, existing as an out and open radqueer, telling people the city I live, doing my activism to bring people together. But it's nothing if it doesn't change people's lives, and the only way that can happen is if you, reader, take that change into your own hands. Come out to your friends, you may be surprised. Tell people online where the nearest major city to you is, and do a meetup in a public place. You may make a new best friend, or even a partner.

I expect this post to do nothing. A couple people might read it and then go on about their day, but I can't just sit back and do nothing while I watch this community turn to shambles. Our culture needs to change, we need to praise people who risk it all. We shouldn't shame people who want to be private, that's their choice, but we should show people one by one how everyone here can be more open, stop living this double life, and make a change. We are never ever ever going to be recognized in society if we don't do this, it will literally be impossible for us to be seen for who we really are if we keep hiding.

For anyone who thinks that the first step is to change public opinion, that just isn't true. People didn't become cool with gay people because of arguments, they became cool with gay people because their friends came out as gay and they saw for themselves that the stigma was bullshit. They became cool with gay people because they saw stonewall and realized how many gay people were really out there. It wasn't too long ago that gay people in America were in the exact same situation that radqueers are in now. And it didn't take much time to have things change for the better for them. If the internet existed at the time, how would that have changed the gay movement, would they have also turned to the internet for safety? We'll never know, but the reality is that they didn't have the choice, same with MAPs at the time. So they made in-person communities still, fought for their rights, and let the world know who they really were. (If you're wondering "why aren't MAPs liberated then?" The answer is because gay people pushed us out to save face. Some people are still very salty about this lol.)

That's never going to happen for us as long as we stay doing what we're doing. No one is going to save you, you have to do it yourself. And someday when all of us have in-person community, and we're being protested against, it will be our Stonewall. But only then, if something changes now.

- Ally K <3

The Hundred Line -Last Defense Academy- (Extreme & Despair) [Pt. 1]

Ally Kotetsu — Thu, 13 Nov 2025 02:00:00 +0000

2025-11-12.mp4

Gaming

The Streisand Effect

Ally Kotetsu — Sat, 25 Oct 2025 00:09:50 +0000

Obviously I've posted about this a lot on the fediverse recently. I'm not trying to rub salt in the wound, but I wanted to make a post about it on my main blog in order to compile all of my arguments and to hopefully make a statement that the radqueer community at large can understand and agree with. What am I talking about? The Streisand Effect and how it relates to the way antis target our communities.

First off, in case you are unfamiliar with what The Streisand Effect is, I'll give a quick summary. The Streisand Effect is the phenomenon in which, when someone releases information about a subject, the attempt to get said information censored results in the content becoming more widespread, resulting in more people being aware of it than would've in the first case. The Wikipedia article for it goes into more depth and lists sources as well. The Streisand Effect gets its name from an incident where a photographer took photos of Barbra Streisand's house, and she attempted to get those photos removed. However, instead of the intended effect of people no longer knowing what her house looked like, this brought more attention towards the situation, and once those photos were reuploaded, it drew widespread attention that they hadn't in the first place. In short, because Streisand attempted to censor public information about her, it backfired and resulted in the situation becoming worse. Instead of only a few people knowing this picture existed, now everyone did. Wikipedia chalks this phenomenon up to "an example of psychological reactance, wherein once people are aware that some information is being kept from them, they are significantly more motivated to acquire and spread it." Here's a quote from Barbra Streisand about the incidient:

My issue was never with the photo ... it was only about the use of my name attached to the photo. I felt I was standing up for a principle, but in retrospect, it was a mistake. I also assumed that my lawyer had done exactly as I wished and simply asked to take my name off the photo.

We'll come back to that later, but I want you to remember it.

I am going to be making a lot of different points with this post, as the situation at large is complex. I am talking about the Katie Cruz x Sly Boy situation. Once again, I am not trying to rub salt in Katie's wound, but I want others to read this post and think about it if a situation like this ever comes to their doorstep. If you don't know, the situation I am referring to is one where a YouTuber by the name of Sly Boy made videos defaming and doxxing Katie Cruz, a MAP activist. As any reasonable person would, Cruz tried to get these videos taken down. I have done similar things as well, and am not blaming her for this. But the unintended consequence of this was that, after SB had posted a few more videos, he started to double down on the situation in response to the censorship Cruz was attempting to do. This started The Streisand Effect phenomenon, and as of typing this, his latest video on Cruz is his most popular on his entire YouTube channel, earning 820K views in a matter of 3 days. His next most popular video only has 277K views, and it has been up for 10 months. This situation has also earned him tens of thousands of subscribers.

I could stop this post right here, that alone should tell you that no one is immune to The Streisand Effect. If Katie Cruz hadn't attempted to take the videos down in the first place, then she would've only had views up in the high ten thousands. But the attempt to censor it caused it to skyrocket, making the situation go completely out of control. Again, this was a reasonable thing for Cruz to do, I am not strictly criticizing that, rather, I am trying to make a point that if this happens to you, do not attempt to censor the information. If you do, you are only going to create the inevitable possibility that it will Streisand Effect and then you'll be in a worse place than where you started.

Katie Cruz's ultimate goal is to get Sly Boy's YouTube channel taken down completely. But the way things are going I see two possible outcomes from this. 1. If this doesn't happen then, in response to seeing how many views he's gotten, he will double down on this content style and post about more people in the MAP community. And, 2. If this does happen, then he will reupload the videos somewhere else. He mentioned trying to use Free Speech Tube, as well as trying to get bigger YouTubers such as MoistCr1TiKaL/penguinz0 to cover the situation. The aforementioned YouTuber averages 2M+ views per video, so if this happens the Streisand Effect will continue to juggernaut, bringing even more attention to the situation.

As of writing this this has also earned a dedicated Soyjak Party thread on Katie Cruz and on her Map Merch Shop, and it has also spawned a Kiwifarms discussion. So at this point this has become bigger than Sly Boy and Katie, even if Katie follows through attempting to sue him, there isn't much she's gonna be able to do once anonymous nazis from those sites start to take more of an interest.

So, as a reminder kids, if someone makes a video about you online, as much as it may suck, one of the worst things you can do is get it taken down. If this happens then the odds are high that it will get reuploaded and more attention will be brought to it, putting you in a worse off situation than you would've been if you had just left it alone. The Streisand Effect exists for a reason. It wasn't just some one off thing that happened with Barbra Streisand, it is a predictable, psychologically-understood phenomenon that can happen when private information made public is being taken down. If you feel like you are doing this as a matter of principle, like it is your duty to, remember that Barbra Streisand herself said the same thing, and that, in hindsight, she realized it was a mistake. If you do find yourself in a scenario like this, you can't go back in time to change things, the only thing you can do is stop escalating to get it from becoming even bigger.

Another thing you should avoid doing is publicizing spats like these. We were taught in school that people only bully others because they want to get a reaction out of them. Whether or not that is true, it should come as no surprise that when you respond to shit that antis say about you, they're going to want to do it more. Especially because public drama and feuds earn so much attention from fans. Just look at literally any rap beef out there, the public eats that stuff up. So if you respond to antis, they will reply back and make things even worse for you. I know because I've been in that scenario. I am not speaking out of a place of intellectual superiority as it may sound like, rather, I am speaking out of experience. It is not worth it to give antis even the time of day. It is a waste of your own precious time that you should be spending on more worthwhile things, like building up your community. I've spent a lot of time in the illusion thinking that the best way to help the radqueer cause is by fighting off antis online, but I now know that the best thing you can do is build real community.

Anyways, well, what should you do then? If you do leave these people alone, then it may reinforce the idea that they can do this and get away with it. You should stand up for yourself, right? Let them know that you're not just gonna take shit. All in all, I think it's important, when doing this, to analyze the pros and cons. For starters, who are you interacting with? Is it some rando leftist on Bluesky? If so then bad stuff probably won't happen. Is it some right winger YouTuber that constantly posts about drama and people they find gross? Probably not a good idea. I usually don't talk about sites like Soyjak Party because I've seen the way they react to people talking ill about them. Is it tempting to tell them off? Yes. But will doing so create a realistic possibility that bad shit will happen to not only me, but the people in my community? Yes yes yes. Usually when antis piss me off I don't respond to them directly, I'll make a blog post or something about it. Not for the purpose of telling them off, but to let my community know that they're not alone, and that we can stand up to these people by standing with our community, not by trying to fight an internet argument on the frontlines by ourselves.

What's ended up happening here is not only Katie Cruz putting herself in more danger, but others as well. Of course, she is not to blame for this, it is the nazis and right wingers who are, but if they started the fire, then it's appropriate to say Cruz threw more wood into it, making the flame bigger and more dangerous. And now others are getting burned. Now that antis are more aware of MAP Merch Shop, they might go after other vendors. Now that we got Sly Boy posting over and over again about Cruz, we have almost a million people with eyes on the MAP movement. I will talk more about that it a bit, as I believe more eyes on the movement is praxis, but as it currently stands, most people on pedi don't want that attention. And the best thing we can do is respect their wishes, not forcing them into situations that make them uncomfortable.

Activists in our communities are influencers. We are role models. People look up to us, and when they see us do something they think that's what they should be doing too. No one should have to shoulder a responsibility like this, it is very stressful, but we do anyways. And it means everything we do needs to be extremely calculated. We need to consider how people are going to react to it, we need to consider how that's going to influence their own behaviors, and we need to consider how what we do is going to affect others. When you choose to become an activist, this is a responsibility you choose to take on. Us activists should be inspiring our community to stop hiding and to come together in-person. At the end of the day, that is what is going to further our movement, not getting involved in flamewars online.

In order for the radqueer movement to succeed, our people need to stop hiding. This may seem antithetical to what I've been saying, but there is a difference. For starters, I'm analyzing this situation from Katie's perspective, with her goals in mind. She is attempting to get this information removed in order to protect herself and others from antis, but what she is doing, in actuality, is going against that. And the second difference is that our community becoming recognized doesn't need to come at the expense of people on YouTube making callout videos about us. Sure, that will come in time, but the way this situation is going, these people are going to be making videos about each person on here who they view as a threat, and without the proper community in place, we won't be able to stand up to it.

We need to be building real community. Whenever something like this happens, anything that brings even a sliver of light onto pedi, people freak out. Why? Because they view pedi as something secretive, something you whisper about, like a dark web site. People use it to share illegal content, for whatever reason, and talk about how much they love CP and fucking kids and whatnot. And then they get scared when the idea of the feds looking into the network gets brought up. This is not what pedi should be used for. People just talk about gooning and their sessions in bio, but where is this going to get us as a community? People want to be accepted by society, but at the same time they take the gift that is a global social media community for MAPs and treat it like it's a dark web site for gooning to CP. We need to start treating pedi for what it really is, and that is a way for people like us to build community, to get together in real life and be able to stand up against bullies like Sly Boy. But the way things are now, even the smallest bit of attention gets people scared, and they end up leaving pedi because they're worried about antis and cops.

Something that most people don't want to acknowledge is that our community is never going to get anywhere without some sacrifices. I would like to tell you that someday MAPs will be accepted, and along the way no one will get doxxed, hurt, or arrested, but that is not the reality. We would not have gay rights today if the people throwing bricks at cops didn't get arrested back at Stonewall. And people shouldn't be going out of their way to put themselves in harm's way, I believe we should do everything we can to prevent that, but, to put it bluntly, people here need to have thicker skin and be able to take it when people come at them. We need a change of attitude in the culture of this community. We should be praising people who are apologetically themselves, but who do so safely. We should be encouraging that people stand their ground when trouble comes our way, and not run away. We should put the message out there that using pedi like it's a darkweb site won't help the movement in the long run. Pedi isn't some secret private place for you to do illegal stuff, it's a public social media sphere that anyone can look into. The feds can, vigilantes can. Hell, even instance admins can read your "private" DMs. People get scared when "the feds investigate fedi!" well, news flash, the Katie Cruz x Sly Boy situation isn't bringing in any feds that weren't already spying on the websites.

I made a post recently about being doxxed and how that changed my life for the better, I think this is a message we should be spreading across MAP spaces as a whole. Being doxxed is bad, obviously, but the things that can come from it, such as no longer having to hide who you are and being able to meet up with people IRL easier, are good. We need more people to do this and to form in-person communities. That way when antis do come to pedi and start shit, we can have people who can protect us. I encourage you to read my blog post about getting doxxed in full.

As a call to action, I think the people in the radqueer community need to form a stronger community. Be more real about who you are, say the city you live in so that you can meet up with people. But be careful as to not share sensitive info like your address or where you work, as those are unnecessary to give out and just put a target on your back. All in all, the nuances to what you should be public about versus what you should hide are complex, but the end goal is to form a real community and to stop hiding. We are queer people who deserve these things and we should start acting like it. Wear a MAP pride pin, or a zoo pride bracelet. Put your nearest major city in bio. Put the fact that you're radqueer on your social media page or something. And when people try to dox or harass you, stand your ground. Don't let them scare you. You have people you can stand with that will protect you.

We will win eventually, but we aren't going to win by YouTube takedown campaigns. When we win, it'll be because we have a community that can stand together and not fall down when we get pushed.

- Ally K <3

Crypt of the Necrodancer [Pt. 1]

Ally Kotetsu — Thu, 16 Oct 2025 01:00:00 +0000

2025-10-15.mp4

Gaming

Life Being Doxxed

Ally Kotetsu — Tue, 07 Oct 2025 06:27:02 +0000

It's not usual for me to post more than once a month, but someone on my org's Tumblr sent an anonymous ask wanting to know what it was like being doxxed and how it's affected my life, and it didn't seem appropriate to post there so I figured I'd post it here, since it seemed interesting to write about and it could provide a utility to those in the same situation.

Let's start from the beginning. In 2022 I started my journey into the MAP community. I joined the online community known as VirPed, a space for anti-contact MAPs. I had questioned being a MAP for years at that point, so I decided to bite the bullet and talk to other MAPs to see if I could learn more about myself and the type of person I was. In my search for online communities VirPed came up as a site that advertised itself as being for "virtuous pedophiles", which I have opinions about now, but the important part is that for someone who was still questioning I wasn't quite ready to dive into pro-contact spaces where everyone was talking about sex all the time and stuff.

After spending some time there I learned about VoA in 2023. I had heard some good things about it, and I wanted to diversify the MAP spaces I was in, so I decided to join. Being a girllover myself I wanted to see what other GLs had to say about girls and being a MAP. From here I started to become more pro-contact, but that is beside the point. (These days I don't like to identify with contact stance labels.)

On VoA I had interacted with a member named Katie Cruz, and I later, through online searches, learned about MAP Merch Shop, the e-commerce website she runs that sells, well, merchandise representing MAP pride. From there I applied to be a vendor on the site, and through the MMS group chats I learned about an internet sphere known as the "pediverse". Curious about what that was, I was told it was social media for MAPs, so I decided to join.

Now a member of the pediverse, I quickly gained traction on the site. (I posted some pretty wild stuff in retrospect.) At the same time in my life I had met a young girl who I started to befriend and catch feelings for, and being a recent member of MAP social media, I decided to broadcast these feelings. (You can probably see where this is headed at this point.)

Sometime within a month or so, someone by the name of Seara Adair had started taking notice of my posts. Adair was a TikTok user who "exposed predators" such as myself, and had made videos about Cruz. She had prepared a few videos about me and my online presence, and published them on TikTok, therefore doxxing me.

The videos had my address on them, my full legal name, pictures of me, my workplaces, and usernames that I used online. She had gotten in contact with my family in order to get them to spread the info to my friends (this is just a theory), and people who came across the video spammed calls to both of my jobs to "warn" them about me.

Being doxxed got me fired. It got me kicked out of my apartment because my roommate found out (they had known I was a MAP but I had previously told them I was anti-contact). It lost me most of my friends, only three of them staying by my side. I had a Discord community at the time that was thriving that I deleted. I had recently been broken up with by my girlfriend due to being a MAP, and getting doxxed caused her to block me. And I was still posting on pedi for a bit, mostly unphased, but in my state of trying to make myself invincible I made a fool out of myself by acting like I was doing super, and posting repeatedly about the dox, afterwards deleting my account and taking a short hiatus from pedi. In short, being doxxed changed my entire life.

(Editing note, I forgot to put it in but my neighbors called the cops on me. I didn't do anything illegal though so nothing much came of it. A cop did show up to my apartment but they just let me off with a warning.)

I got a new job, that wasn't hard. I had to move in with my family again, which was very rough. I had a hard time making friends because I was constantly scared about how they'd feel if they found out who I really was. And it made my entrance back to social media a tumultuous one. Things had blown up, but they were quickly calming down. Antis stopped harassing me shortly after moving (probably partially because I deleted some of the accounts they were harassing me on, but I never liked Facebook anyways.)

But behind all the agony, the nights I cried myself to sleep, and the dreams that followed of me being with my friends again, I had... Hope. I had an idea.

Being doxxed was terrible, I would not recommend it, but it took seeing how terrible doxxing was first hand it made me really realize that we needed to live in a world where people wouldn't be scared of getting doxxed. In the same way that a gay person wouldn't be scared of getting doxxed, cuz if they did it wouldn't really change anything. MAPs and other radqueers needed to fight.

This wasn't my first time wanting to do activism. Like I said, I was previously a vendor on MAP Merch Shop, and I had dreams of opening an in-person radqueer retail store. But for the first time I truly saw how important activism was, the only question that remained was "how?"

How did someone "do activism", what did activism really mean? I saw a lot of people online call themselves activists, but I felt dissatisfied at the idea of only doing what they were. For a while I ran a few websites just to do something. I became more involved in the transid (trans identity) community as well, and had visions beyond MAP acceptance.

This was my first bout of activism. I had a philosophy that if something didn't exist, then it needed to, and if needed to, then someone had to do it, and if no one else was going to, then I would. That was the logic behind launching websites such as rqd2.net and radqueer.net. They were the first of their kind, and I felt a sense of pride in having done that. But I knew that wasn't the only thing I could do. In between days of going to work, moderating Discord servers, and fixing site bugs, I started to brainstorm for ways to help the radqueer community in real life... Yes, I'm talking about Beyond the Plus.

I am unsure if I would've ever done Bt+ if I hadn't been doxxed, all I know is that being doxxed set of a chain of events that led to its inception. The idea was simple, just take what people had done online, create communities and offer resources, and do that in-person instead, the only issue was that that was a lot for one person to do by themself. And I didn't live in the big city, I lived with my mom up north. I had a dream and I had a plan, but following that plan would depend on more than I could do by myself. Rent ain't cheap.

Around that time I set my sights on my next creative project, running a panel about loli and shota at a convention. It wasn't quite MAPtivism, but it sounded fun, and I wanted to put myself out there. Once again this was something I couldn't do myself, so having already been doxxed I decided it wouldn't be a bad thing to put myself out there, so I let pedi know that I was looking for assistance in Seattle, someone to volunteer time towards an activism effort of mine.

Long story short it all went well. We met up, shared a hotel room, attended con, did the panel, got a couple people who extended appreciation towards us for talking about a taboo topic, and... Existed together. I saw for the first time that night just how much it meant to just... Exist with another radqueer. For all I knew, before that, I was completely alone in this world. But for three days I saw proof otherwise. There were others like me, and they were struggling too.

I cried our last night together. I didn't want to go back to how things were, being lonely, and not being able to trust anyone like I could another radqueer. To be frank the whole thing changed my life, it was another eye opening experience that showed me how important activism was.

After I got back home I expected to just be alone again forever, but was actually happened was quite different. See, word got around that I was doing meetups, so other radqueers in WA started reaching out to me to hang out. The first was someone by the name of Violet Rose.

It turns out we actually had lived fairly close before I moved. It had thought about reaching out when I got doxxed, but it ended up not doing so for reasons I can't quite remember. But when it heard I was "doing meetups", it couldn't refuse an opportunity to meet me.

So we met up, we hung out, and we, to my surprise, hit it off. (Spoiler alert, we're married now.) It took a while for my feelings to bloom, but this was my first time experiencing love with another MAP. Just a month ago I cried thinking I'd never see a radqueer ever again, but after a couple months I was coming over once a week to hang out, make love, and stay the night. It was a complete change in my life.

And it only got more from there. For the next several months I was meeting up with new people all the time. It filled me with a sense of determination. I got a good feeling inside when I met someone, because it meant suddenly their world got a little less lonely, and so did mine. It had gotten so frequent I actually used to keep a list of who I met and when, just because it was so special to me. Funny to think that now there's no purpose in that, now that I'm the one that helps radqueers meet each other.

This was around 2024, so time had surely passed. The two years had gone by incredibly fast, but my life had changed a lot. I started making new friends, and suddenly I saw the people who left my life before for who they really were: fake friends.

I never forgot about Beyond the Plus. Violet and I had started talking about our plans for it together, and soon we met the final piece of the puzzle, Annette. Once we met her, after some time had passed, suddenly we had a team. I shared my ideas, we had meetings, we did brainstorming, and we were all on the same page: let's create an organization to serve the wider queer community. Let's bring radqueers together in real life.

Fast forward about a year, and this month will be Beyond the Plus' second monthly socials. We're gaining new members all the time, and every time I meet them I feel that feeling. The feeling of determination in doing good, but it had morphed. Suddenly I wasn't introducing myself to one person, I was introducing a whole group of people to each other. Some people there had never met a radqueer before, ever. And at the end of the day their connections were in the double digits. That feeling of determination was about much more than just me now, it was about what I had been dreaming of for years: building community.

It's been three years since my dox now, and I don't think about it very often. It was one event that happened in my life, and it made quite a big change, but I have friends again, I have a home, I have a wife, and everything else I need in life. It's something that came and went, and it changed my life for the better in the end. I've been redoxxed a couple times since then, but that's what happens when you're the president of a radqueer organization. And at this point I use my real name, real location, and real picture online, so what is there to even dox about me at this point? Antis can't dox you if you dox yourself first. That being said, I'll never post my actual address, where I work, or anything other than essential information about me, cuz getting fired, blacklisted, and having people show up at my home are very real possibilities that shouldn't be messed around with. But I haven't been put in danger yet, and likely never will be. In reality it's quite rare, especially in a leftist city like Seattle, to get hatecrimed for being a niche radqueer activist, and that risk goes down even further for people who aren't public activists.

... This post ended up being a lot longer than I intended it to be, I just got swept up in it. (I very much enjoy writing.) I think I strayed quite a bit from the original prompt, but my goal was to create something inspiring. To show how a nobody getting doxxed can go on to create an organization promoting radqueer community.

I leave you with this. Being doxxed is scary, it's probably one of the scariest things that can happen in your life, and you can never really live it down, but should you try to? When you're given an opportunity to take the mask off, to be able to tell people where you live so you can make new friends, so you can filter out all the fake friends who wouldn't really care about you if they knew who you were, wouldn't you take that opportunity? Being doxxed was terrible, but I can confidently say that if if never happened I probably wouldn't be where I am right now.

I want to live in a world where people like us don't have to be scared of being doxxed. So that when it happens it's not so different from just a non-rad queer getting doxxed. That's not the world we live in today, and it's gonna take a long time to get there, but for the time being there's a way to meet in the middle.

When I got doxxed what did I lose? Jobs, friends, lovers, and my home. But I beg the question, if I had been a part of an in-person radqueer community at the time, what would have changed? If I got kicked out, a friend could take me in. If I couldn't pay my bills, they could lend me some money. I wouldn't even lose friends or partners because they'd still be there to support me.

This is why in-person community is so important. Online friends can only help so much, but what even is the threat of doxxing when you're protected by your community? Suddenly a very scary threat becomes a minor inconvenience. We've all been fired before, it's not that hard to find a new job. Losing your home is tough, but if you room with other radqueers then suddenly that risk goes way down.

I'm rambling again, but it's because I have a lot to say on the topic. At this point I don't have a single take away, I just hope think makes you think. Think about why in-person community is so important, why doxxing is the threat that is, but also why it's not some lifelong curse, sometimes it may even be a blessing in disguise.

I used to think that everything happened for a reason... And I still do. There's a bright side to everything. I cried myself to sleep over what I lost, but there were times I was able to think about what I'd gained. I think that's an important skill to have, I'm not so sure I'd be alive today if I wasn't able to do that. But I am, and that's what's important.

My dox happened for a reason, and that reason was to teach me. It taught me about why community is important, it taught me why activism is needed, it taught me who my fake and real friends were. But I still wouldn't recommend being doxxed, which may sound confusing as I've been seemingly playing it up for a while.

I think that because you can reap the benefits of being doxxed without experiencing the trauma of it. Being doxxed isn't the only way to find out who your fake friends are. It's not the only way to come out to your friends and family, or to find local community. You can do that yourself. Putting yourself out there is scary, but we're all going to need to do it someday, otherwise we'll live our whole lives wearing skin that isn't ours.

I won't say it isn't dangerous. Everyday the threat of fascism gets more extreme, and every so often you'll hear of terrible things that happen to MAPs, which is why I think it's important to protect yourself. I always carry pepper gel, and I've made an effort to not let my current address leak or to get redoxxed, because yes, having your full address out there is a safety concern (albeit an extremely low risk one). But the fact of the matter is that fascists want you to be scared, they want you to be alone. We need to fight back, not by not being scared, but by being brave. Otherwise we're just playing into their hand.

You can make a positive change in your life. Just like I had the power to see my dreams come true, if you dream of a day where you can be out, you can make that dream come true as well, and anything else you put your mind to.

- Ally K <3

Washington, My Home

Ally Kotetsu — Fri, 03 Oct 2025 06:56:07 +0000

I was born and raised in the glorious pacific northwest. I never had any nationalistic feelings towards it, that felt silly, but I would be lying if I didn't say that the deciduous woods weren't beautiful. The trees that line the highways. The deer and coyotes that poked their heads into the cities now and then. The vast pacific ocean, and the Puget sound that I had visited countless times to go walk the beach.

If you've never been to Washington, that's the best way I can describe it. Calling it the "pacific northwest" is pretty accurate I think, the name bringing up images of dark green forests and oceans. We aren't like Cali, we don't have palm trees and deserts, we don't have a Hollywood sign, and we only really have one major notable city. Our population is less than a third of what Cali's is, yet I like to think of Washington as... humble. Our cities are small, we don't have much to boast about, our sports teams are average, and I can only name two movies that take place in this state. What other way to describe a place like this other than "humble"?

Out of every single one of my friends, I was the only one born and raised here. Which has been an adjustment, as, growing up, most of my school friends were also born and raised here. My dad was as well. But these days, I stand out as different being the only person who's been able to call this my home my whole life, which I feel lucky about. So many people want to move here, it seems, and I never had to!

Though this has always been my home, I've never stayed in the same place for long. I was born in one city, moved to the next, moved to an island, moved back, moved some more, moved up north, and then moved back to the city, and then finally into Seattle. I've always felt in my life that I never really had a home. I could never get comfortable somewhere without getting uprooted, time and time again. There were few things that remained the same about where I lived, but those oceans and dark green trees stayed the same.

I have come to realize lately that I do have feelings for this state. It doesn't make sense, but I do. I couldn't care less about this country, I was led to believe that, being "United States", I should feel nationalism towards this entire land mass, but why should I? Why should I care about states like Florida, or Texas. I love the PNW, but that doesn't mean I have to care about the rest of this country. I also don't necessarily have feelings towards other parts of Washington; I've never particularly cared for the eastern side, though a lot of produce is grown there so I do see it as important to our state, despite the right-wingers that reside there.

This is my home, and fascists are trying to take that from me, from us. I've been urged to leave the US, I've been told it's not safe, and that is true. But I'm tired of running. I've never stayed in the same place for more than a couple years, but one thing has stayed the same...

I will never leave this place, at least, no one will ever make me. This state has been my home, the one constant when nothing else was. I was born here, I made friends here, I learned here, I found love here, I've built community here. Yet I have also felt pain here, shed tears here, been scared here... Born and raised, not by my parents, but by those oceans and dark green trees.

We will not leave Seattle. When the fascists come for us, we need all the numbers we can get. Fleeing will only help in the short term, and fuck everyone else over. We must stand in solidarity, even when it's scary. It is our support network, it is our only chance of survival.

The fascists will have to drag me by my cold, dead body to get me to leave this place.

* Well, I'd happily move to Japan.

- Ally K <3

Schedule I [Pt. 1]

Ally Kotetsu — Thu, 02 Oct 2025 01:00:00 +0000

2025-10-01.mp4

Gaming

Turning Point

Ally Kotetsu — Sun, 07 Sep 2025 07:00:00 +0000

Last week we held my organization, Beyond the Plus', first monthly socials, and there was a lot to unpack. In a good way!

People started showing up right when the event started, and kept filing in over the next hour or so. We had food, games, and lots of laughs. There was music and dancing and having fun, there was real talk about the state of the world and our country, but in between sat about a dozen queer people who could relate to each other and never did before.

I got a glimpse at what it must have been like being gay in the 70's. Just a room full of queer people who were all being open with each other. People who had nothing to hide and could be their authentic selves. People partying the night away, laughing while playing games, and coming together as one. That night about a dozen people, some of which already knew each other, became each others closest allies. Some of which had never met another zoo or MAP before, one second they were alone in this world, and the next they had friends they could be their true selves around.

I say it every time, but this is why I'm here. This is my call to activism, and what I want to do for the world. Every time I meet someone new I remember why this cause is so important, but being able to let other people meet other new people in such mass? It takes that feeling to another level.

It's hard work, and it will never not be, but I'm prepared. We are prepared. People like us are tired of being put down, tired of being scared that if anyone ever found out who we truly are, we'd become isolated. As one person put it, isolation is a death sentence. We are saving lives.

It felt like a turning point. From here on is a new chapter, and no one knows what will happen next. The future is sure to hold trials and tribulations, but we also have the power to make those hardships worth it.

- Ally K <3

Ally Kotetsu: Blacklisted

Ally Kotetsu — Fri, 22 Aug 2025 17:00:00 +0000

I knew the day would come where I'd be blacklisted from an event, I just didn't know it'd be so soon.

This weekend I was supposed to go to Seattle's My Little Pony convention, Everfree NW, but when I went to go pick up my badge, the staff member pulled me aside to inform me that I had been blacklisted from attending the convention due to my website and social media.

So that was surprising, to say the least. I told him to have a good day, and then I went back home and collected my thoughts.

As a person on this planet I like using social media. I figured posting about going to the convention would be a good way to potentially meet a follower or something. I'm always down to meet and greet people, since a lot of the community may feel alone and not know anyone else like them. But I suppose it is a double edged sword being some amount of popular. I knew that there was a risk to sharing my convention plans publicly online, but I didn't actually think anything would come of it. Guess I was wrong.

I suppose I know better for next time now. Everfree isn't the only convention I attend, though I will not list the others for fear of being blacklisted from cons that are important to me. I am not sure how I will let people know of my presence at cons, especially since I run a panel at one, and it's somewhat important for me to announce that publicly so that people know about it. But I guess that is a privilege I no longer have.

These are the risks of my line of work I suppose. I try to be as public as possible to show people who I really am, and this is what can happen.

I may not be a big My Little Pony fan, but it's a show that I've bonded with my wife over, and it's given me something to do with my friends. I didn't attend Everfree last year, so I was excited to get to do so this year, especially by the side of a friend who wanted to not be as lonely this time around. Guess neither of us got what we wanted.

I attempted to appeal this, but it seems like the consensus from the Higher Ups was that they were "concerned" of my presence at the convention. They couldn't actually prove it was me, but no chances taken I suppose.

Those are my thoughts on the matter. Once again this is more of a ranty post, but something this extraordinary I think called for some piece of extended writing about it; it's not everyday you get banned from a My Little Pony convention. But I have put enough energy towards this.

I am disappointed that I could not go to the convention, and it would be easy to mope about and do nothing. But whoever reported me wants me to be unhappy, so I will have a good weekend. I will have fun in spite of my enemies, maybe watch some My Little Pony tonight with my wife.

My hope is not that you will read this and become scared. This is something we will have to face for a long time. My hope is that you read this and realize why this activism is so important. This is why we fight.

- Ally K <3

We're Here and We're Queer

Ally Kotetsu — Thu, 07 Aug 2025 21:42:01 +0000

This is gonna be a bit of a preaching to the choir, depending on who ends up reading this. I always see the way people talk about us and wanna stand up for this community, but I don't want to bring the negative attention towards me. Violet thought making a blog post about it would be a good best of both worlds.

This is a response to seeing the way people have talked about Beyond the Plus on Bluesky and possibly elsewhere on the internet. They claim that we're "masquerading as queer liberation", and this is what people say all the time. I know they'll never believe a word we say, but there is no "masquerading" anywhere. We're not some sort of abuse ring that is for nasty pedophiles but pretends we're about queer rights, we are a queer organization made by queer people, no matter your definition of the word. Being a MAP is queer, and I am also transgender, bisexual, and many other queer identities, from the normie ones, to the less common ones. MAP rights is queer liberation.

Antis will see things like this and, since they assume we're all evil, automatically assume there's some shady stuff going on. Obviously I'm an evil pedophile [sarcastic], therefore I will act like other evil people they know, people like politicians that actually do "masquerade" their shady business practices. These people will always see us as like them, but sometimes you have to stand up for yourself and say "no, I am not what you think I am".

No one is perfect. I don't think anyone should try and be perfect, all we can do is make ourselves better a little bit at a time, and try to leave this world as better people than how we came into it, but I won't just sit back and let people say things like this about my community. Beyond the Plus is my life's work, and it's something I am very proud of. We are not evil, we're not pretending to be anything; we are genuine people that want rights. MAP rights may seem silly to you, but to us they're everything.

It's not just MAP stuff obviously, we also welcome everyone else under the rainbow, but I never see people talk about anything else we welcome, like zoophiles. I guess I haven't really made any posts or anything about that, maybe I should make it more clear that we're not just pedophiles, we're everyone who feels like they can't wave their flag at pride.

I guess like my last blog post this is a little more of a rant than leftist or activist theory or something. It's hard to find a way to stand up for myself that won't end up in getting me reported, but it makes me upset to see what people say, and maybe deep down that's what they want. But unlike some people, I take my anger, my sadness, and all the negative emotions that are created, and I turn them into something positive. I started this journey because I got doxxed, and I realized that this shouldn't be happening to people like me.

I'm still on this journey. It's a rocky road with many forks, and I've changed destinations many times. But along the way I've learned more about myself, made lots of new friends, and put myself to the test. No amount of hate is gonna make me give up now. Why, I've only just begun.

- Ally K <3

Bluesky, A Love-Hate Relationship

Ally Kotetsu — Sun, 27 Jul 2025 08:00:03 +0000

I suppose I really don't have a right to complain about when social media platforms ban me. It's not like it's a human right to make posts on the internet, and there are people out there who have less and don't complain, but I still have the right to be upset about discrimination like this.

I thought the third time was the charm; this account lasted a while, but eventually it came to an end, as did the last two @allykotetsu.coms. I don't even know why they banned me, I rarely MAPposted, never advocated for anything illegal, never did or talked about illegal stuff, and mostly just posted random leftist theory. At that point the only thing that makes sense is ban evasion, which is bullshit. Like what, I break a rule once and then I'm never allowed to use your website ever again?

My apologies if I sound a bit irked, but I do not like this happening to me. I've seen way too many people get banned, such as ZeebDemon and Ezra, and never get justice.

Banning is a slippery slope, because once you let yourself justify one group getting banned, such as actual predators, then that can expand to other people such as us, and then someday that'll go even further. What do mainline queer people think they're supporting when they report MAPs? Someday when being queer is made illegal, they'll get it too, and then they'll be the ones complaining about getting banned. Surely they should see that we shouldn't get banned either.

Social media companies will never be nice to us, and this is why I think having an offline presence is so important. We can only reach so many people if we make social media accounts that get banned over and over again, but in real life? They can't ban us. Let them try.

I do plan on making a new account, but I am getting quite annoyed with this. I think I will reinstate my ActivityPub (Mastodon) presence soon, to have a microblog account that can't get banned. Technically bsky didn't even ban me; I run my own PDS and own my data. They just made it so I can't interact with their website. I can't even use a third-party client, because those rely on the proprietary bsky.social backend!

Bsky pretends that it's an "open network" where you "own your data", and it is! But it's also nothing more. What's the point in owning your data if there's still a single point where one company can decide what's allowed and what isn't? What's the point of an open network if having a larger part of that network is prohibitive for people who aren't large companies like the Bluesky PBC? ActivityPub is only better in some regards, but I think that's why it's important. In a federated universe it's impossible for one protocol to be objectively better than another, so it's good to diversify and use multiple.

I should probably not let this rant go on too long. It's just annoying how this happens over and over again. At least this blog is in a better state than it was before and it's easier for me to notify you all when this sort of thing happens. I'll probably make another announcement once I'm back on bsky and Mastodon. The latter might take a bit to get fully set up.

Thanks for reading!

- Ally K <3

UNDERTALE Pt. 7

Ally Kotetsu — Thu, 03 Jul 2025 18:38:38 +0000

undertale_6.mp4

Watch Ally Kotetsu and Violet Rose finish playing through UNDERTALE's, fighting Asriel Dreemurr.

Watch Ally Kotetsu and Violet Rose play through UNDERTALE's first area, The Ruins.

Tags:

undertale

Happy Pride Month!

Ally Kotetsu — Mon, 30 Jun 2025 17:03:11 +0000

I regret not making a post about this at the beginning of the month, so posting it at the end of the month seemed like the appropriate thing to do.

June is the month where queer people from all walks of life celebrate what makes us who we are, who we want to be, and who we love. Pride month is a time to celebrate, and although we should be proud all year round, having a whole month dedicated to queer pride is pretty cool.

Never forget why pride exists; pride is the opposite of shame, and shame is what Republicans and the right wing wants us to feel. They want us to hate ourselves and hate each other just like they hate us, but we shine a light of pride in defiance.

It's important to remember what brought us here. Not rainbow logos and corporate sponsorships, but riot. Queer people can live out lives today because we decided we were done being oppressed, done staying hidden. Fascists are trying to turn things back, but we have the power to stop it. Pride is more important now than ever, and hiding that pride will only make them think they've won.

This weekend I attended the Seattle Pridefest and set up tables there to hand out pamphlets on Beyond the Plus. It went well! We started with thirty pamphlets and ended up with five, so twenty-five people will now know what Beyond the Plus is and will be able to tell their friends. One even said that they'd print copies at their workplace.

We also took some breaks to explore the pridefest, and every year it's just amazing to see the diversity and show of pride. People of every race, gender, and age coming together to wave flags of pride, wear slutty clothes, and sometimes even not wear clothes! There were lots of topless people and even some completely naked. Not to mention people wearing harnesses and pup masks and other fetish gear. The kink at pride discourse has been going on so long, but it's ridiculous because it's already happening while kids are there and nobody bats an eye. People just have hang-ups online.

But pride can feel unwelcoming to a certain crowd of people. Those that feel if they were their true selves that they wouldn't be allowed. The MAPs, zoos, consang, transage, etc. Heck, I didn't even see any otherkin or therian pride, and that's pretty normal! Though there were a ton of people with animal accessories and lots of furries. It's easy to see how a relatively normal band of queer people could make the outsiders feel unwelcome, even if there's a large display of kink and fringe queer stuff.

Hopefully someday everyone feels welcome at pride. We start with a crawl, but eventually we will walk so everyone can march.

- Ally K <3

Deltarune [Pt. 2]

Ally Kotetsu — Wed, 25 Jun 2025 01:00:00 +0000

2025-06-24.mp4

Gaming

Deltarune [Pt. 1]

Ally Kotetsu — Sat, 21 Jun 2025 01:00:00 +0000

2025-06-20.mp4

Gaming

Minecraft

Ally Kotetsu — Fri, 20 Jun 2025 22:36:33 +0000

I have a Minecraft server! Here's how to play:

Enter your username below. If I know you, I'll add you to the whitelist.
Launch Minecraft.
Go to Multiplayer > Add Server > Server Address: allykotetsu.com > Done

Platform: Java
Flavor: Vanilla
Version: Latest

Whitelist Form:

form.antibot { display: none !important; } You must have JavaScript enabled to use this form.

Donate

Ally Kotetsu — Wed, 18 Jun 2025 22:57:03 +0000

Monero

87JR2ziMAwXRhkLpzdKtMxRQLMAL6huCk21F3vRWwGmVC65nqDsorACdfTmEHWmjQCc8Udw1tqRCbKDY2PCm7Swx8hvKbL3

PayPal

About

Ally Kotetsu — Wed, 18 Jun 2025 22:42:26 +0000

Hi there! I'm Ally Kotetsu, a radical queer activist. I am the president of Beyond the Plus, a Seattle-based queer organization, and a content creator. My pronouns are she/they, and I identify as being a non-binary transgender woman who is transrace Japanese. I don't quite identify as human, but I don't see myself as fully a different species either.

I am bisexual with a heavy lean towards lesbian, with only some male exceptions. I am a nonpreferential minor attracted person, meaning that I'm attracted to minors and adults, but usually the latter. My age of attraction tends to be between 8-60.

I believe in equality and autonomy for all, especially marginalized or oppressed peoples, and the far reaches of the queer community. I am on the far left, being a socialist and anarchist, and I am a vegan, sex positivist/neutralist, atheist, and spiritual being.

On this website you'll find my art, social media, and the like. I write blog posts pertaining to leftist topics, make different genres of music, livestream, release gaming videos and more! Feel free to leave a contact form if you have any questions, concerns, comments, or suggestions, or just wanna chat!

At the bottom of every page you'll find the mailing list subscription form, to get notifications for new blog posts, stream info, and important announcements, as well as links to my Fediverse, Bluesky, RSS Feed, and Owncast.

Those more security conscious can access this website through its hidden service link, http://i5crx2tkz5gmvbqtz46j3vjxd775v222qivmviqaymgzqdztrosp7rid.onion/.

I hope you enjoy your stay!

Divisions & Unity

Ally Kotetsu — Sat, 31 May 2025 17:30:04 +0000

I know it's not like me to push out so many blog posts in succession, but this is a topic important to me that I wanted to write about and that I talk about a lot: division.

Division is something that creeps into communities everywhere. Political parties on both sides of the aisle can be divided, organized religion gets divided over time, and so do queer communities. Over time division can increase, but in marginalized communities it tends to improve.

Before “LGBTQ+” was ever a thing, it was just gay men. Of course, lesbians and trans people and MAPs existed as well, but to the public it first seemed like gay men were the only ones who existed. As it stands that's barely a community, but once gays and lesbians banded together, a real community was founded, and from there on more and more people under the queer umbrella have found sanctuary in the community.

I've talked a lot before about how MAPs and other radical queers will eventually have our time, but today I offer a slightly different topic covering division within radqueer circles, specifically covering MAP history.

When pedophiles first started to come together, boylovers arose out of the gay rights movement. Naturally so since men loving men was a thing, so men loving boys wanted in too, which was okay until they got kicked out of ILGA, but this sole inclusion of boylovers, specifically male boylovers, left out a large number of MAPs.

When girllovers finally got their time to shine, it was online in forums, but not the same forums that boylovers eventually found sanctuary in. For whatever reasons MAPs felt the need to divide. Conservative boylovers wanted to leave females out of it, and girllovers got a sour taste in their mouth of how boylovers were, so this wedge was driven between the two groups, both viewing the other as the worse of the two.

In modern day it's gotten better, as general online MAP spaces exist and tend not to discriminate based off gender, but there is still one way in which we are majorly discriminated, and that's contact stance. You can have your opinion about anti-c's wanting to report pro-c's to the cops, and anti-c's calling pro-c's groomers, but we have common ground: we both want to be recognized.

I've heard it said that efforts such as VirPed were created to invent contact stance that divides us and prevents us from building momentum, and though there is lack of evidence for this theory, based on the effect it had I completely believe it to be possible. The MAP community is intensely divided, still by gender, contact stance, political stance, whatever. We need to put aside our differences if we ever want acceptance, just like how gay men and lesbians found their common ground, and accepted trans beings even when there wasn't any.

Someday we can be recognized as queer, but how can we ever hope to be included when we ourselves don't want to include each other?

- Ally K <3

The Importance of Community

Ally Kotetsu — Thu, 15 May 2025 17:28:18 +0000

Last night I met up with someone who had never met other MAPs before, but it wasn't just us, it was with my other friends too. Someone who felt alone a day ago now has friends that they can talk to about anything, people they can go to the bar with, or go to the park with, or whatever.

I've heard it said that loneliness is an epidemic in queer communities. All around the world there are queer people that are alone, and some don't have the luxury of local gay bars, or any level of acceptance at all. But it can change. Loneliness is created to kill queer people. I've had more than one acquaintance take their life since I've joined this community, and more attempt to. Something I think could've been prevented if they had community.

That's why my mission is so important to me, that's why I focus on community over trying to change public opinion by antis. We are building a network of people who can trust each other, love each other, and be their real selves to each other.

Community saves lives, builds happiness, and creates safety nets. If you're in danger but you have friends who are truly friends to the end, you have a place to stay for the night, or money for food.

I can't wait to continue to meet more people in my local community. We're building a network of people who all believe that queer rights should include paras and transid. Making true friends that will stick with each other, protect each other, and inspire each other.

I won't use this as a post to advertise my organization, but this is why I believe being a leader is my calling. Every time I come back from a meetup, I've met one more person who felt alone in some way, and it's shown me why what we're doing is so important. I remember being in that place not so long ago, and when I see people still there, it feels like my duty to get them out.

We are building true community, one person at a time.

- Ally K <3

The Coffin of Andy and Leyley [Pt. 1]

Ally Kotetsu — Sat, 03 May 2025 01:00:00 +0000

2025-05-02.mp4

Gaming

Happy (Late) Alice Day

Ally Kotetsu — Sat, 26 Apr 2025 17:27:18 +0000

Alice Day was yesterday, and I forgot to make a post about it. I guess I was just too busy to remember, but busy doing what? Hosting an Alice Day picnic of course!

For those that don't know, Alice Day is a day to celebrate girllove, originally known as “Pedophile Pride Day”. It celebrates the day that Lewis Carroll met Alice Liddell, the girl who would serve as inspiration for the classic tale Alice's Adventures in Wonderland.

We hosted a community picnic yesterday, and although turnout wasn't as high as I'd hoped, we still had a fun get together with friends, both new and old, with yummy food and fun games.

We hope this is the first of many community events we host. But who is we? Me and a team of IRL friends have been forming an informal organization called Beyond the Plus, based in Seattle, WA, and for months we've been planning and finally have something to show for it. We hope people see that events like these are possible and join in in the future. To see more check out the Beyond the Plus website.

Once again, happy (late) Alice Day! To everyone who could and couldn't attend. I hope everyone celebrated in their own little way.

- Ally K <3

Minecraft [Pt. 2]

Ally Kotetsu — Sat, 05 Apr 2025 01:00:00 +0000

2025-04-04.mp4

Gaming

Our Stonewall

Ally Kotetsu — Wed, 05 Mar 2025 18:26:10 +0000

I've heard time and time again that MAPs need a “stonewall”. Stonewall refers to a series of riots against law enforcement who were pestering gays back decades ago, and it had a lasting impact as a pivotal gay rights event. People say we need ours, but no one wants to throw the first brick because we are too scared.

Times have changed, sure. Technology has completely revolutionized things, and the US becomes more of a police state every day, but the point stands that we're never going to gain acceptance until we stop hiding. Everyone seems to wait for someone else to throw the first brick, but everyone would rather hide. Everyone wants the glamour of “being an activist” but no one wants to put in the work to do so.

Stonewall only happened because gay people were being themselves publicly, even though they knew the risk everyday, and then when their worst fears came to pass, they decided to stand up for themselves. How are we ever gonna do that if we stay hiding?

These days we have the luxury of anonymous online spaces, which has helped our movement in some ways, and hindered it in a lot of others. But the point stands that we'll never achieve acceptance if no one is willing to risk it all. Many in this community do, but hide behind pseudonyms.

If you want a stonewall, then you, the person reading this, has to throw the first brick. You can't count on anyone else to. If you're waiting for someone else to do it, the odds are everyone else is too.

It's easy to make a philosophical post like this one that you can read and never think about again, but I ask you call to action by exploring the world outside of the digital one, and make a step towards unapologetically being yourself without fear of others. Find a trusted online friend to meet up with IRL, wear a piece of pride wherever you go, share a selfie, because if our stonewall comes, it's waiting on you. Now this isn't to say you shouldn't be smart and safe about it, but if fear controls you, know that it doesn't have to.

Fascists want you to be scared, don't give them what they want.

- Ally K <3

Thanksgiving

Ally Kotetsu — Thu, 28 Nov 2024 18:24:01 +0000

Thanksgiving is a holiday I am not too fond of, not only does it lead to awkward family get together, but it is based on an event taught to us all as a lie, a continued propaganda despite the fact that most adults know it is a lie. I am referring to the colonization “discovery” of America and the “peaceful” meal shared between the native Americans and European emigrants.

Not only that, but it is a holiday about gorging down food and being greedy and gluttonous, instead of helping those less fortunate. I am not a good example of this, I do not practice what I preach well, but the concept of overindulging while others have nothing is not a good one. If you can, celebrate by helping the less fortunate.

Despite all this, the idea of a holiday to be thankful for what you have isn't problematic by itself. In tough times it can be hard to look on the bright side, but being thankful for what you have can make it easier to keep going. I am thankful for my friends, and my love Violet. I am thankful that I have a roof over my head and food in my belly. I am thankful that despite everything I have faced in life I have come out the other side stronger than before.

So be thankful today, if you have family, be with your family. If not, be with your friends. Celebrate the things you have, help those that do not have it. Know what today should really be about, and not about the lies we are told. Happy Thanksgiving, if you celebrate.

- Ally K <3

The Fight

Ally Kotetsu — Fri, 08 Nov 2024 18:22:59 +0000

Everyone is scared about a Trump presidency: women, people of color, and, what I'll be writing about in this post, queer people.

Queer people are divided into two main sects, those that are accepted by mainstream media and (half of) society (think LGBT) and those that are queer but usually not even accepted by the first sect (think radqueer).

I've seen many people from both sides scared about what's gonna happen in these four years. We're in a fight for our rights, and we're stronger together. If there should come a time that tradqueers stop trying to save face and accept us as queer, it'll be now.

Queer people are gonna be oppressed, children are being oppressed, queer children are being oppressed, MAPs are being oppressed, poc are being oppressed, transrace are being oppressed. The list goes on. We will all suffer under the hand of fascism, and it's now more than ever that we will need everyone to stand together as one and to stop trying to find ways to divide us. Whether its girl love and boy love, anti-c and pro-c, zoos and maps, queers and radqueers, whatever, now is the time to band together.

This post isn't an official call to action, rather, it is a message of inspiration. A message to try and rally. A message to stand together. I know activism is scary, but if you can, try and reach out to others, inform people about radqueer, learn to be a good ally to identities you don't have. This might be the fight of our lives.

- Ally K <3

Vote

Ally Kotetsu — Fri, 25 Oct 2024 17:19:21 +0000

This is one of, if not the most, important American presidential elections of all time We are facing a tyrant that wants to restrict reproductive freedom, queer lives, and racial equality. If you are old enough, you can play a part in making sure the conservatives don't win this election.

Trump wants to ruin the country. The right wants America to once again be the country for straight white Christians, and not for diverse race, gender, sexuality, and religion. Project 2025 threatens everyone's way of life who doesn't adhere to the status quo. If you want to protect your rights and everyone else's, please vote.

Election day is Tuesday, November 5th. If you are 18 or older and care about queer lives, black lives, women's rights, and equality, then vote for Kamala Harris. Vote for freedom. Tell those you know to vote. If you are not old enough, then do what you can.

- Ally K <3

Daily Dot, A Radqueer Ally?

Ally Kotetsu — Sun, 13 Oct 2024 16:26:44 +0000

There are many news sources online, I am sure we are all familiar with the likes of FOX News and CNN. Bigger news publishers like these tend to focus on the biggest headlines, but when it comes to smaller communities that need the spotlight just as much as big ones, what about smaller publishers?

The Daily Dot is a Texas-based news organization that has been around since 2011, and since then it's been delivering news on a slew of content, especially as it relates to the internet and its culture. An interesting thing about it, I've noticed, is that they've made multiple articles covering radqueer topics in a neutral light.

Sometimes I search my name up to see just what Google or other engines have indexed about me, and a while ago I noticed that I came up in an article about Race Change To Another by Daily Dot. This is because I used to moderate the r/Transracial community on Reddit, and, at the height of TikTok's RCTA "trend", Daily Dot took a look at the Reddit community (despite it being less RCTA focused) to see what the commotion was about, to provide an alternate perspective than just what people were doing on TikTok to get likes. Daily Dot even went as far as to interview surgeons to get their opinions on how transrace folks might transition to be closer to their desired race.

Facial plastic surgeons the Daily Dot interviewed all agreed that subliminals and manifestations cannot change your appearance. Instead, they recommend surgery or other cosmetic procedures to change one’s looks to more closely resemble that of the desired race.

“I’m unconfident about the effectiveness of these practices in changing facial features,” one surgeon said. “I recommend visiting an expert and consulting them about possible solutions…helping you feel good about yourself is our job after all.”

None of the surgeons wanted to be named due to the controversy surrounding RCTA.

The article even comes to the defense of Rachel Dolezal, a transblack woman who was outed by her parents after confusion of her "real" race up.

This by itself is awesome, there are allies of transrace out there, I have met a few myself, but what if I told you this wasn't the only radqueer thing that another Daily Dot journalist has written about? The Daily Dot has also written about the Otherkin community, one that has been notable a lot longer than transrace has been.

Otherkin are the internet’s punchline. They’re also our future. As our understanding of identity and bodies changes, otherkin are at the center of the fight.

The article mentions plurality and otherkinity in the same sentences as "queer", "transfem", and "polyamorous". A description I think a lot of us in this community can relate to. It doesn't outright call any of the "radqueer" but it gets pretty close:

And the radical queer spaces they hang out in online have been nothing but accepting, in part because these communities are “unapologetic weirdqueer,” or queer communities that radically challenge what it means to have an identity.

This may be the only time I have ever heard the term "radical queer" used in a professionally journalistic context.

So sure, the Daily Dot doesn't come out in support of pedophilia (unless there's another article I haven't read) and it doesn't show transage flags quoting "transage rights!", but it has multiple articles by different authors showing positive lights into different parts of the radqueer community, as recent as less than a year ago.

If ever there was a doubt that our community is growing and becoming more accepted, I hope that should be diminishing. The more people write about us in good faith like this, the more people will try to understand us. I've met many people in real life who accept parts of if not all of my identity. Radqueer is here to stay, and we've got to keep having pride online so that good people will find out and spread our message.

The articles mentioned:

- Ally K <3

The Community We're Fighting For

Ally Kotetsu — Sat, 21 Sep 2024 16:24:41 +0000

This weekend I met one of my good friends on pedi. Every time I meet someone it's always prefaced by anxiety, worried that things won't happen the way I think they will. But meeting someone like me, someone that society has tried to suppress and rid of a life, always reminds me about the community we're fighting for, and how good that is. Everyone behind a profile picture is a real person with friends and family, struggles and aspirations. It's worth fighting for. I've had the privilege of meeting so many great people, and I know there are more out there. It has made me incredibly happy that I've caused people to meet others, and I will always suggest that people do it. It really changes your life once you know you're not alone.

I struggle a lot with motivation, I feel hopeless a lot. But meeting a community member always fills me with energy and hope. It shows me who we're fighting for. It gives me a way to keep going, and it's why I'll never back down, because I know that this is bigger than me.

- Ally K <3

You Are Loved

Ally Kotetsu — Wed, 04 Sep 2024 00:10:58 +0000

You are loved by friends, you are loved by family.
You are loved by humans, you are loved by animals.
You are loved by old, you are loved by young.
You were loved yesterday, you are loved today, and you will still be loved tomorrow.

When death claims one of us it's the natural response to be shocked, scared, uneasy. It's even harder when those that would rather see us dead laugh in the wake of our demise.

In times like these I would like to remind everyone to try and keep good mental health. If things are rough, they will get better. You are not alone. You are loved. We have community and people willing to put risk into seeing it become great.

Pushing through can be tough, especially when it seems like no one has your back. It's easy to want to give up, but it does get better.

If you are struggling with mental health related to being a MAP or any other type of radqueer, please seek out help. There are websites like b4u-act that prioritize in life-saving MAP mental health, communities to help meet other people struggling and support each other. And friends willing to do anything to see you live another day.

You are loved.

- Ally K <3

How To Help The Community

Ally Kotetsu — Mon, 19 Aug 2024 23:13:56 +0000

A sentiment I hear often is that many would help in the community, in the flavor of activism, if they “knew how to”. I've heard it from countless people, and I've heard others talk about how they hear the same thing too.

I am of the belief that everyone is good at something. Be it management, math, art, programming, whatever. What would happen if everyone took their own talents and used them as a way to help the community in some way?

I think it would kill two birds with one stone if it was used for activism. Someone can indulge in their craft and give a boost to the community, solving their own problem of “not knowing how to help”.

Though I also believe that we're stronger together, and that multiple people can achieve what one person can't. So let's take that a step further, if we had a well organized activism project, where each person contributed in their own way, what would that look like? Journalists writing for a blog, artists making posters and logos, programmers making websites, etc.

This community needs a push to get things done, and I think the best way to do that is to have good management in teamwork, but that can only go so far without the right tools. It's hard to collaborate effectively over Matrix. But using the right groupware? With task delegation, calendars, shared notes and file storage? I believe that is the final ingredient in a recipe of success that is built on the internet.

It's something I am taking an interest in right now. A lot still needs to happen under the hood, but I can't help but think about what it would be like if everyone I've personally heard say that they “don't know how to help” contributed to something. I have met many beings in this community: cancelled musicians, talented programmers, journalists and writers, artists of many different style, and, among them, those called activists, who want to be a driving change. I think we work best together, and when we have activists with a talent in leadership work with people of diverse talent, I think great things can be spawned from it.

If you really wanna help this community, if you really would help if you only knew what to do, then please reach out to people like me, me included. You might not know how to help, but someone else might know exactly how.

Of course, there are countless other ways to help the community. This is the most direct in my opinion, but there's also financial help, fighting off antis and getting accounts blocked, building up publicity, etc. If you are more suited for one of these things, I have seen many do great things by them. Everyone has a way they can help, even if it doesn't seem like much, it helps.

- Ally K <3

Who is Ally Kotetsu?

Ally Kotetsu — Sun, 18 Aug 2024 13:00:00 +0000

If you're here on my website you probably already know who I am, but in case you don't: hi, my name is Ally Kotetsu! I'm a radical queer content creator/streamer based in Seattle, WA. You may know who I am, but you don't know my story. Let's fix that.

I am a lot of things. I am queer, for one. I am bisexual, attracted mostly to feminine beings, and I'm a nonbinary woman. I am a non preferential, non-exclusive Minor Attracted Person, attracted mostly to people around the upper teens range. I am radically polyamorous. I am transrace Japanese. I am a permateen (transage 16). I am into activism regarding these fields (and the realm of radical queerness in general). I also have several kinks and am very sex positive/neutral.

I believe in spirituality, but am an atheist. We may have souls, but we were not given them by a god, I do not think (though one can never know for sure). I believe in a form of reincarnation. I have vague beliefs in magick related fields, and I have a hyperfixation in astral projection and similar practices.

I like to think of myself primarily as a content creator. I livestream every week, post to a blog, write literature, post videos, and write music.

Music is my main artistic interest. I run my solo musical project, Next Point From Nothing. I have been writing songs since I was in middle school, I play the clarinet, the guitar, and the keyboard. I mostly write stuff in the electronic / alternative / hip-hop genres, but I also delve into other genres I enjoy. I like pop punk, nü-metal, real metal, post hardcore, punk, rap, rock, pop, city pop, future funk, soundtracks, experimental, pop rock, electronic rock, funk rock, electropunk, grunge—to name a few. My all-time favorite artists are Twenty One Pilots, Linkin Park, and Eminem.

I am also really into programming. I am proficient with the languages Rust, C/C++, and Java. I also mess with HTML/CSS/JS from time to time. I use this knowledge to mess around with games and write website software, but I haven't really finished anything.

I love gaming, less so video games and more gaming in general. I have a soft spot for tabletop gaming, especially card games and roleplaying games. My favorite card game is Munchkin and my favorite TTRPG is Call of Cthulhu. My favorite video games are The Hundred Line -Last Defense Academy- and Pokémon.

Aside from all of the above, I like education. Teaching is a joy to me (especially teaching youth). I also like arts and crafts, and I sew, make kandi bracelets, and make buttons on occasion. I wish I was good at drawing.

I officially delved into radqueer spaces when I was 18 or so, but I first learned about radqueer concepts before that. Around starting puberty I started to gain interest in sexuality, which is when I learned about queer matters such as gender and gender-based attractions. I realized I was bisexual and for a while I thought I was a femboy, but eventually I learned about transgender people, and after some self reflection I settled on being a girl. Though it's not quite that simple, as my gender isn't 100% female.

Around the same time I started questioning my race identity and age attractions. For years I would look at that side of myself with curiosity, but also denial. Eventually, around when I was an adult, I realized that this part of myself wasn't going away, so I decided to learn more about it. That's when I found the transrace and MAP communities.

Before that I had learned about therianthropy and otherkinity, as well as zoophilia, and shortly after I learned about transage and other transids. At first I thought being queer was simple, but now I knew that there was much more to it than that. I wasn't some freak, there were others like me out there, and others that weren't like me but were queer. And no matter what people said, I could look to myself and know the things they said were lies.

After being in the community for a bit, I got doxxed. It changed my life completely. These days I look back on those times and think of the good it brought, but there was a lot of bad too. And I made the decision there that I would help this community so no one else had to go through what I did. I knew it wouldn't be easy, and that there was a long road ahead of me, but I've always had desire to lead others, and finally it had seemed like I found who I was supposed to lead.

Fast forward some years. I'm still the same Ally Kotetsu. I lead activist projects, exist publicly as a radqueer, and I create content. This is who I am, and it's who I was meant to be. I am proud to be radqueer, and proud to be a part of this community.

- Ally K <3