Mom, Board Certified Pediatrician and Chief Medical Officer at As You Are

Dr. Tracy Burton is a board-certified pediatrician and the Chief Medical Officer at As You Are. With over a decade of experience, Dr. Burton is dedicated to providing timely, compassionate care to families navigating developmental concerns. She completed her medical degree at the University of Alabama School of Medicine and her residency at the University of South Florida. Dr. Burton is licensed to practice in multiple states, including Texas, California, and New York.

This is the final part of our three-part series on adolescent autism re-evaluations. Read part one: Bridging the Adolescent Autism Re-Evaluation Gap or read part two: Telehealth Solutions for Adolescent Re-Evaluations.

In our previous articles, we explored the challenges families face when seeking re-evaluations for adolescents with autism and how telehealth can help address these challenges. Now, let’s look at the various requirements that might prompt a re-evaluation.

Understanding Re-Evaluation Requirements

It’s important to recognize that re-evaluation requirements vary widely across different systems. While we can provide general information, families should always verify specific requirements for their situation.

Insurance Requirements Examples

Many insurance plans require updated autism evaluations to continue coverage for therapies like Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA). For example:

• Some Blue Cross Blue Shield plans may require re-evaluation every 1-2 years
• Certain Medicaid programs might require updated documentation every 1-3 years
• Tricare typically requires re-evaluation every 2 years for continued ABA services

These timeframes represent general patterns we’ve observed, but requirements can change and vary significantly between individual plans—even within the same insurance company.

Educational System Examples

While the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA) mandates re-evaluations at least every three years for students receiving special education services, some states and districts have more specific guidelines:

• Many states align with the federal three-year re-evaluation cycle for IEP services
• Some school districts may require updated documentation during key transition periods (elementary to middle school, or middle to high school)
• Certain educational accommodations might require more frequent documentation updates

Where to Find Accurate Information

For the most current and specific requirements, we recommend:

• Insurance coverage: Contact your insurance provider directly and request their current re-evaluation requirements for continued therapy coverage
• Educational services: Consult with your school district’s special education department or your child’s IEP coordinator
• State-specific guidelines: Review your state’s department of education website for their current policies

Our care coordination team can help guide conversations about these requirements, but the most accurate information will always come directly from your insurance provider and school district.

Moving Forward

As we continue to advance understanding of autism across the lifespan, it’s essential that our healthcare services evolve to meet changing needs. By bridging the re-evaluation gap for adolescents, we’re helping ensure that individuals with autism don’t lose critical supports during important developmental years.

For families navigating this journey, know that you don’t have to face these transitions alone. Timely re-evaluations can help maintain the continuity of care that supports your child’s continued growth and development.

We hope this series has helped you understand the importance of adolescent re-evaluations and how telehealth can help address access challenges. If you missed earlier parts of this series:

• Part 1: Bridging the Adolescent Autism Re-Evaluation Gap
• Part 2: Telehealth Solutions for Adolescent Re-Evaluations

Don’t let re-evaluation challenges interrupt your child’s support. Our team can help guide you through the process.

Schedule an Appointment

Have questions about re-evaluations? Our care coordination team is here to help. Contact Us

]]> https://asyouare.com/evaluation_older_kids_telehealth/ Thu, 22 May 2025 21:26:52 +0000 https://asyouare.com/?p=6875 By Tracy Burton

Mom, Board Certified Pediatrician and Chief Medical Officer at As You Are

Dr. Tracy Burton is a board-certified pediatrician and the Chief Medical Officer at As You Are. With over a decade of experience, Dr. Burton is dedicated to providing timely, compassionate care to families navigating developmental concerns. She completed her medical degree at the University of Alabama School of Medicine and her residency at the University of South Florida. Dr. Burton is licensed to practice in multiple states, including Texas, California, and New York.

This is part two of our three-part series on adolescent autism re-evaluations. Read part one: Bridging the Adolescent Autism Re-Evaluation Gap or skip ahead to part three: Navigating Re-Evaluation Requirements.

In our previous article, we explored the significant challenges families face when seeking re-evaluations for adolescents with autism. Now, let’s look at how telehealth is transforming access to these critical services.

Our Solution: Telehealth Re-Evaluations

Recognizing the critical gap in services, we’ve expanded our telehealth model to include autism re-evaluations for adolescents and teens ages 11-17. This service is designed specifically for children who:

• Have previously received an autism diagnosis
• Need updated documentation for continued services
• Are experiencing developmental changes that may warrant adjustments to their support plan
• Are preparing for educational transitions
• The Telehealth Advantage for Adolescents

Our telehealth approach offers several benefits that are particularly valuable for adolescent evaluations:

• Reduced Anxiety: Many autistic adolescents experience heightened anxiety in unfamiliar clinical settings. Telehealth allows them to participate from the comfort of their home, often resulting in more authentic interactions.
• Natural Environment Observation: We can observe adolescents in their everyday surroundings, providing valuable insights into their daily functioning that might not be apparent in a clinical setting.
• No Geographic Barriers: Families in rural and underserved areas can access specialized evaluations without extensive travel, opening doors to care that might otherwise be inaccessible.
• Timely Documentation: Without lengthy waitlists, families can maintain continuity in educational and therapeutic services, preventing harmful interruptions in support.

Who Can Benefit?

Our telehealth re-evaluation service helps adolescents who need updated documentation for:

• Continuing beneficial therapy services
• Maintaining educational accommodations
• Transitioning between schools or educational levels
• Adjusting support strategies to address evolving needs

The only requirements are:

• A previous autism diagnosis and
• Documentation of that assessment

Ready to learn more about specific requirements? Read part three of our series: Navigating Re-Evaluation Requirements.

Ready to get started with a re-evaluation for your adolescent? Schedule Now

]]> https://asyouare.com/autism-re-evaluation-in-older-kids/ Thu, 22 May 2025 21:08:20 +0000 https://asyouare.com/?p=6872 By Tracy Burton

Mom, Board Certified Pediatrician and Chief Medical Officer at As You Are

Dr. Tracy Burton is a board-certified pediatrician and the Chief Medical Officer at As You Are. With over a decade of experience, Dr. Burton is dedicated to providing timely, compassionate care to families navigating developmental concerns. She completed her medical degree at the University of Alabama School of Medicine and her residency at the University of South Florida. Dr. Burton is licensed to practice in multiple states, including Texas, California, and New York.

For many families of children with autism, receiving an initial diagnosis is just the beginning of their journey. According to the CDC, autism is a lifelong developmental disability—yet access to re-evaluation services remains highly inconsistent across the U.S. Autism re- evaluations in older kids is a growing need as teens face changing support requirements. As children grow and develop, particularly as they enter adolescence, their needs evolve – and so do the requirements for maintaining their support services.

The Re-Evaluation Challenge

Across the country, families face a significant challenge when their children need updated autism evaluations. Many states require re-evaluation every 2-3 years to maintain educational accommodations. Insurance companies often require current documentation to continue covering therapeutic services like ABA, speech therapy, or occupational therapy.

Yet, finding providers who offer re-evaluations for adolescents can be extraordinarily difficult:

• The national average wait time for adolescent developmental evaluations spans 12-18 months
• Many providers focus primarily on initial diagnoses for younger children
• Rural and underserved communities face even longer waits

This gap in care creates a troubling scenario where children who have been previously diagnosed and are receiving beneficial services suddenly face interruption in support during critical developmental transitions.

Why Adolescent Re-Evaluations Matter

The adolescent years bring significant changes – new academic demands, social complexities, and preparation for increasing independence. For autistic adolescents, these years are particularly important for several reasons:

• Educational Transitions: Moving from elementary to middle school, or middle to high school, often requires updated documentation to ensure appropriate accommodations.
• Evolving Presentation: Autism characteristics may present differently in adolescence than in early childhood, potentially requiring adjustments to support strategies.
• Therapeutic Needs: The types and intensity of therapeutic interventions often change during adolescence, requiring updated evaluations to guide appropriate services.
• Preparation for Adulthood: For older teens, evaluations become crucial for transition planning and establishing eligibility for adult services.

Learn more about autism diagnosis criteria and how traits may evolve during adolescence via Autism Speaks.

Want to learn how telehealth can help address these challenges? Read part two of our series: Telehealth Solutions for Adolescent Re-Evaluations.

If your older child needs an autism re-evaluation now, our team is here to help.

Schedule an Appointment

She said, “I have noticed my daughter hit milestones earlier than he did when he was her age. He was more behind developmentally.” 

Dalynn started to do some online research on her son’s behaviors and learned that getting an autism diagnosis early in life could lead to better outcomes. While she was searching for places to get her son evaluated for autism, she found a virtual clinic called As You Are, which can see children as young as 16 months old.    

“I’ve been so close with my son. I’m a stay at home mom and I see the behaviors, different ways he acts and I knew I had to get him evaluated,” she said. “The As You Are doctor listened to me really well. She was able to explain things to me and make me understand what was going on and what to do next.”

Braylon was diagnosed with autism through As You Are after three virtual appointments with a physician, and is now making progress in ABA therapy in her community.

“He is in ABA and is doing absolutely amazing. He doesn’t even want to come home because he’s having so much fun. He’s doing so much better. I am thankful for As You Are, for helping me understand autism and helping me know what to do.”

She encourages other parents that have a concern to take that crucial step to seek an evaluation.

She said, “I was very nervous about the outcome but now that I have the answers, it’s helped me clear my mind.”

Learn more about As You Are’s virtual autism evaluations. Check out more family stories here.

“I wanted him to be evaluated for autism because I saw the signs. I tried to call so many clinics in San Diego but they were booked out 6 months to 1 year,” she said.

Sara did her research and knew how important it was to get an autism diagnosis because it would unlock access to necessary services. She kept searching Google for places to call for an autism evaluation and found a virtual clinic called As You Are. The evaluation was covered by her son’s individual health insurance plan.

“We are going to give it a try, we’re going to do this virtually,” she remembered saying.

The virtual evaluation took place in her living room, on her smartphone, and all she needed were a few toys she already had at home.

“It was a teddy bear, some blocks, and a ball,” she said. “I liked how the doctor did the evaluation, the way he was patient and explained every detail to me. He talked about what to expect and then explained what he was seeing. The virtual experience worked for my son, who doesn’t like to sit in one place.”

Just one month after receiving the autism diagnosis from As You Are, Jon is about to start ABA therapy. Which is now covered by his health insurance after his diagnosis. Now, Sara looks forward to learning more and more everyday on how to support him.

“As You Are helped me be more patient and understanding of my son,” she said.

Learn more about As You Are’s virtual autism evaluations. Check out more family stories here.

“We’re a military family, and we were living overseas. We moved back to America in July and started looking into getting our son evaluated because we saw signs for a while. We got put on the books for a meeting with a developmental pediatrician. That was in July of this year, and they didn’t have availability until 2024. I was pretty put down by that, and I thought we were starting at square one again,” she said.

Kathryn started doing research about evaluations and Googled the words “short waitlists for autism evaluations” and found As You Are, a virtual clinic with no waitlist. To give her peace of mind, Kathryn did some extra due diligence before scheduling an appointment for her 2-year-old son.

“I reached out to different families who had used As You Are for a diagnosis and heard nothing but good reviews. It came highly recommended,” she said.

She scheduled an appointment on AsYouAre.com and was so taken aback by how straightforward the entire process was it seemed like a fluke. 

“I was very shocked and thought I was doing something wrong because of how easy it was. I expected it was going to be a crazy amount of back and forth to handle insurance and thought it was going to take a couple of weeks for it to go through. I was mind-blown at how fast everything moved. It was within the next day, an email came back with the benefits investigation. That was my biggest takeaway: everything moved so fast,” she said.

After scheduling an appointment online, George met virtually with his As You Are physician for the evaluation and was diagnosed with autism in just a matter of weeks. Kathryn was also impressed with the communication between As You Are and her son’s primary care pediatrician. 

“I wouldn’t be where I am today without the resources that came from the diagnosis with As You Are. I was worried he would fall through the cracks. But now with all the referrals he has, he will have so much more chance at reaching his full potential. I’m just grateful for that,” she said.

Learn more about As You Are’s virtual autism evaluations. Check out more family stories here.

Autism Mom and Contributing Writer for As You Are, a virtual clinic dramatically increasing access to early autism diagnostic services through the use of exclusively telehealth appointments

Parenting for autism acceptance

I love horses.

Always have, ever since I was a little girl.

To me, they are majestic creatures.

And I couldn’t wait to introduce my son who has autism to my friend’s horse recently.

Introducing him to my world

We finally carved out some time to make it happen, although it wasn’t ideal.

It was already dark outside, so seeing if my son Louie would enjoy a ride was out of the question.

But I couldn’t wait to bring him near the horse to see what would happen, how he would react, how the horse would receive him and, of course, get a chance to pet the horse myself.

We set out in the darkness to the barn, putting headlamps on to guide our way through the field to the barn. Louie seemed not to mind the totally new experience.

When we got to the barn, my friend’s horse and the three others she boards eagerly greeted us, popping their giant heads through the openings of their stalls and extending their necks to try and smell whether we had brought them any treats.

We came armed with carrots, celery and a few horse cookies.

Introducing me to his world

My son, however, had different interests.

The dirt floor beneath him intrigued him. He sat down and ripped his hand away from mine to dig his hands into it, and, like he does with most new experiences, put it in his mouth to experience it.

The hay was irresistible to him, too.

My husband and I told him it wasn’t for eating.

And those horse cookies, you guessed it. When I looked around for the last one, I saw my son eating the last of it himself.

I picked him up a few times to bring him closer to the horses, but he didn’t want to be held.

Digging in the dirt was far more interesting to him.

We also had our two neurotypical children with us, and trying to keep track of what they were doing along with Louie was becoming too much.

My scene, not his

My husband told me quietly, “This isn’t working. I’m going to head back.”

I asked him to stay and told him I would just hold Louie – which now that he’s 50 pounds and 9 years old, that’s getting harder and harder to do for any extended period of time.

Then my husband said something that helped snap me back into reality: “This might be your scene, but it isn’t his scene.”

And he headed back to the house to clean up Louie while I stayed at the barn with our other children.

He was right.

Parenting for his needs

I was just trying too hard to parent Louie how I envisioned I would in that situation instead of being the parent he needed me to be in that moment. What he needed me to be was accepting of how he didn’t have any interest in the horses, instead of continuing to try to force it to happen.

It is a lesson that has helped me process so many of the moments we’ve had along this journey that don’t turn out the way we had envisioned them.

The more I realize how important it is to be the parent my son needs me to be instead of the parent I always thought I would be, the easier it is to handle all that comes with this diagnosis and the way of life it brings.

Before realizing this, I would take it so personally when moments I hyped up in my own head for my son turned out completely differently.

Now, I look at it as part of being the parent he needs me to be – even if it means horses aren’t his thing.

We haven’t given up on introducing Louie to horses. Next time, however, we know we need to make sure we can put him on the horse as soon as possible and maybe skip the barn tour part where he finds the hay and dirt irresistible.

Do you have questions about your child’s development? The team at As You Are provides diagnostic evaluations for kids 16 months to 10 years old via telehealth appointments.

Disclaimer: I am not a medical professional. This is a sponsored blog post, but all opinions are my own.

“In the Hispanic community, autism isn’t talked about often and being able to teach those around us what the signs are and what the behavior is like helps reduce the stigma,” she said. 

Early signs of autism that she saw in her son Ramon included: not responding to his name, talking delays, hand flapping, struggle with transitions, limited interaction with other children, and lining up toys, to name a few. But her journey to getting him an autism diagnosis wasn’t easy.

“I was feeling like I was getting nowhere. I have been fighting for this since my son was 1.5 years old,” she said.

Mariely came across a Facebook ad for a company called As You Are and considered it because of her struggles getting an appointment, but because of the virtual nature of the evaluations, she was immediately skeptical. Telehealth was not something she had considered for her son because at the time, she did not know if it was legitimate. So, she ignored the ad. In the meantime, despite numerous referrals for her son to centers providing in-person autism evaluations, she says not one place would accept her insurance. On top of that, waitlists were longer than 9 months and she’d have to drive a couple of hours to get to a clinic.

Mariely shared her frustrations with an occupational therapist, who let her know that As You Are, a virtual clinic for autism evaluations, was an option. That’s when Mariely remembered the Facebook ad for virtual autism evaluations and now felt comfortable enough to schedule an appointment. She visited the website, AsYouAre.com, and was able to schedule an autism evaluation herself, without a referral, in a matter of days.

She said, “It’s such a relief to be able to get that appointment right away without waiting months or years.You guys are fixing what’s wrong with the healthcare system for our kids!”

Thanks to As You Are, 3-year-old Ramon was evaluated by a pediatrician and received an official medical diagnosis. He is now on the path to getting his therapies scheduled. 

“Now that he has the autism diagnosis, the insurance is not fighting us on speech therapy, OT, or ABA therapy. It just opened the door of resources to help him thrive,” she said.

Ramon’s father, Ramon Cabrera said, “As You Are gave us peace of mind. Now we can seek help for our son, which will also help us to become better parents and understand him.”

Ramon’s parents want others to know that receiving a diagnosis has opened up so many doors for Ramone to help him thrive.  

“To be able to get him answers, it’s such a relief more than anything and it makes me feel hopeful, finally,” Mariely said. 

Learn more about As You Are’s virtual autism evaluations. Check out more family stories here.

Autism Mom and Contributing Writer for As You Are, a virtual clinic dramatically increasing access to early autism diagnostic services through the use of exclusively telehealth appointments

My son Louie has never met a stroller or a wagon he doesn’t like.

Even when it’s not his.

If we ever go to a park, or anywhere for that matter, where someone has an unoccupied stroller or wagon, and we’re not watching, Louie is bound to try to get in it.

I feel the need… the need for speed

Now that he’s nearly 10 years old and about 55 pounds, he still tries to sit in an umbrella stroller whenever he sees one.

We’ve graduated to a collapsible wagon that we are so fortunate to have found since he’s gotten older.

For Louie, the sensory experience of feeling the ground shake underneath him when a stroller or a wagon is in motion is one of the best feelings for him.

Safe space

More importantly, I believe the wagon has become a safe feeling space for him, too.

It has four sides that surround him, and he can curl up inside it.

We were at a soccer game recently, and he was very unsettled sitting in the bleachers with me. He wanted no part of being on them. He kept trying to walk away from me, taking me by the hand and wandering aimlessly.

He is also nonverbal, so I tuned into his behavior, trying to read what he was trying to say.

When he takes my hand, he’s trying to lead me somewhere. I followed him and could tell he was happy I was following him, but was very uncertain about where he wanted to go.

I brought him to the car and got his wagon. He instantly got in it, content as ever. I left it in the car, thinking he might like being in the bleachers.

Not so.

So, I wheeled him back to the game.

And he sat contently in his wagon, jamming out on his iPad to his favorite songs.

Now, we use that wagon everywhere we go.

Mommy’s helper

It serves so many purposes.

First, he obviously loves the sensory experience it gives him.

For us, it also helps us feel like we can keep a better eye on him.

He loves to elope, and the wagon seems to stop him from doing that.

Some families who have children with autism have recently told me their insurance is covering the cost of a stroller or wagon for their children.

They are viewing it much like a wheelchair for a child who cannot physically walk. A wagon or stroller helps a child who may not have the courage to walk continue to be part of the world around them in a way that helps them feel safe.

I don’t so much care about the stares we get, when people see our nearly 10-year-old son riding in a wagon or trying to climb in a stroller that someone lets him sit in.

I’ll admit I used to be one of those super judgmental people whenever I saw a larger child in a stroller or wagon.

Now, I smile at my fellow parents still carting their older children around in strollers or wagons.

They’ve discovered another piece of this autism puzzle that fits for their child and their world.

And that is one of the greatest feelings. 

Do you have questions about your child’s development? The team at As You Are provides diagnostic evaluations for kids 16 months to 10 years old via telehealth appointments.

Disclaimer: I am not a medical professional. This is a sponsored blog post, but all opinions are my own.

Autism Mom and Contributing Writer for As You Are, a virtual clinic dramatically increasing access to early autism diagnostic services through the use of exclusively telehealth appointments

I woke up this morning without a voice.

It was my turn for a nasty cold that had been plaguing my son who has autism, and my neurotypical children.

No matter how hard I tried to talk, no one could understand me.

Voiceless

The woman at a fast food drive thru asked me if I could write out my order on a piece of paper for her and bring it to the window because she simply could not understand what I was trying to shout into the order speaker.

When we finally saw each other at the order window, she legitimately looked like she felt sorry for me. She took the piece of paper I handed her, nodded and smiled at me and told me she would take care of me.

Rigidity

Other people were not so flexible.

At the grocery store, the cashier was visibly annoyed when I asked her for paper bags instead of plastic bags and she couldn’t understand me.

She kept trying to lean in closer and said, “What? What? What did you say?”

People started looking over.

I felt stared at and awkward.

I motioned that I had lost my voice.

She handed me a piece of paper to write on.

My husband asked me to text him whatever I wanted to say to him.

My neurotypical kids had a legit reason to ignore me and honestly say they didn’t hear me. I had to physically touch them to get their attention. And, even when I did, they still had a very hard time understanding what I was trying to say, asking me to write it out to them or text them, too.  

Connecting

I looked at my son who has autism and realized what a profound experience this was becoming for me to better understand him and his struggles.

For me, though, I knew how to write when someone asked me to write.

I knew how to text.

I knew how to get the attention of my other children without feeling like I had to pinch them or pull at their clothing.

My son who has autism only knows that he has something to say, and he knows he can’t get the words out or how to get someone’s attention without physically touching them – sometimes not pleasantly.

It also made me admire his strength even more.

I know how unbelievably frustrated I felt being unable to communicate with everyone around me.

Even answering the phone was out of the question for me.

I couldn’t help but think of how my son does this every day of his life, and still manages to smile brighter than anyone I’ve ever seen.

Inspiring

He still flaps his hands in sheer joy and excitement at the simplest things.

He truly is the happiest person I know almost all the time, despite his frustrations over communication difficulties.

All I felt like doing was going to bed and calling it a day. I certainly didn’t feel like socializing with my family or anyone. I didn’t want to be around anyone the more the day went on.

And there were so many times I forgot that I couldn’t speak and tried to, only to be reminded that the words wouldn’t come out.

So I stopped trying.

I gave up.

And told my husband I had to be alone.

My son has never stopped trying.

He’s nearly 10 years old, and still tries to mimic our words.

He is still trying to use his communication device, even though the progression has been extremely slow over four years.

And he still communicates in the only ways he knows how.

Fearless

Even though he hasn’t yet found his voice, he doesn’t act like I did when I lost mine.

He doesn’t give up. 

Do you have questions about your child’s development? The team at As You Are provides diagnostic evaluations for kids 16 months to 10 years old via telehealth appointments.

Disclaimer: I am not a medical professional. This is a sponsored blog post, but all opinions are my own.

“I’ve had my son on a waitlist since he was 2 years old. His doctor said that maybe he has autism and sent us to a clinic where there was a year-long waitlist. Then, they also sent me to three other places. All had waitlists over a year out. I decided to send him to occupational therapy and speech therapy while we were waiting,” she said.

Then Kaila’s grandmother called. Her grandma saw a segment on the TODAY Show about a mother who was going through the very same problem, stuck waiting for an autism evaluation. The mother on national news found a solution using a virtual clinic for an autism evaluation called As You Are. 

“I told her, ‘Oh I don’t know, a virtual doc? How are they going to do this? I was skeptical,” she said.

But grandma persistently told her to try it out for Xavier, who is now 3 years old. In the meantime, her insurance wasn’t going to continue paying for speech or occupational therapy until Xavier had a diagnosis. Kaila decided to schedule an evaluation with the virtual clinic As You Are, and within 3 weeks, had an official autism diagnosis for Xavier.

“My grandma kept pushing so I read through all of the testimonials and I was like, ‘Okay, these literally sound like me. They were waiting forever and now their kids are getting help, so I decided to give it a try. It was so thorough and they took all of my information down. The doctor I worked with was so sweet, too,” she said.

Now, just 6 months after receiving a diagnosis from As You Are, insurance is already covering therapies for Xavier and Kaila says he is thriving.

“Since he got a diagnosis, he is now able to get into a preschool program and get ABA. He’s nonverbal, but able to communicate even more. He’s actually talking now. All of this progress since June,” she said. “He’s progressing in leaps and bounds.”

She also highlights that she has no problem utilizing the diagnosis from the autism evaluation with As You Are for Xavier’s services.

“That’s been easy peasy. I gave the therapy clinics the report and I’m good to go. I’ve given it to 4 different places. There’s been no problem with it being submitted as a formal diagnosis,” she said.

Kaila is grateful for her experience through As You Are and grateful for her grandma.

She said, “My grandma jokes every day and says, ‘Aren’t you glad I watched the TODAY show that day?”

Autism Mom and Contributing Writer for As You Are, a virtual clinic dramatically increasing access to early autism diagnostic services through the use of exclusively telehealth appointments

We are very fortunate to be surrounded by friends and family who very much want to get something for our son Louie this holiday season.

Unlike our neurotypical children, however, he can’t tell us what he wants. Ever. He is nonverbal, and is still working very hard at communicating basic wants on his Assisted Communication Device. It’s an iPad with an app that has icons he can press to show us what he wants.

Writing out a Christmas list is not among his skills at this point.

Our son does not grasp the concept of what it means to get a gift from someone. He doesn’t value material things like my neurotypical children do — who would naturally act like their world was coming to an end if Santa didn’t bring them gifts this year.

There is a simplicity to our son who has autism that is truly something to behold. He lives in a world without materialism.  

If he didn’t have a present to open on Christmas, his world would not change. 

That said, we are grateful for those we have around us who want to make sure he does have something to open. 

Given how similar Louie’s habits are to some of his fellow children with autism, I’m hoping that sharing Louie’s list can help anyone searching for that perfect gift find what works for them this holiday season.

Sometimes, the best gifts for children like Louie are experiences and not objects at all. 

• Gift certificates to trampoline parks. In our community, trampoline parks have specific times when toddlers are welcome. It’s much safer for my son, who is 9, to run around trampolines with toddlers rather than sometimes grown men who can get a little zealous with their jumping. Our son is barely 50 pounds, so the trampoline parks have allowed us to bring him during those quieter times so far.
• Gift certificates to sensory friendly gyms. Where we live, there is a franchise called We Rock the Spectrum that has been absolutely fantastic for our son. They have just about every type of swing you can imagine in a gym, along with many occupational therapy types of obstacle courses. He loves it there, and our neurotypical children can play with him there as well.
• Tickets to the aquarium. We are fortunate to have an aquarium in our city, and our son absolutely loves to go there and stare inside the tanks for hours. He also enjoys the interactive displays where he can get his hands wet.
• Passes to swimming pools. I have yet to meet a family with a child who has autism who doesn’t love water. Passes or tickets to indoor and outdoor swimming pools are a great gift.
• A childcare coupon. Along with any gift you might give to the special child in your life’s parents, offer to either provide childcare yourself or pay for it. For us, getting tickets to a concert or an event as a present always comes with the thought of having to find and pay for childcare in order for us to use it. We have let so many restaurant gift cards expire because we don’t make it a priority like we should due to the childcare barrier. Having that thought out ahead of time would make a gift for a child’s parents much more meaningful – especially if you volunteer to do it yourself. Knowing my son is enjoying time with their loved one in whatever special way they can also helps me feel better knowing his loved ones aren’t afraid of caring for him.
• Anything that lights up or makes noise. This past Halloween, our son could not get enough of the DJ lights at a costume party we went to, or the loud music pumping from a light-up stereo speaker. So, you guessed it, we are going to turn his room into a party scene this Christmas, putting up LED lights around his ceiling and buying the light bar and speaker we saw at the party.
• Light up toys for the bathtub. Combining water play with LED lights that can go into the water make bath time one of my son’s favorite parts of the day. There are a lot of lights that go in water now because many people use them to light up their swimming pools. We’ve found they work great in a bathtub too!
• Chewies. My son is very orally sensory seeking. He has chewed the collars off of so many shirts, it’s hard to count. That’s why constantly finding new chewies, as they’re called, always makes a great gift. These are necklaces he can wear and they are made for chewing.
• Clothes. See previous listing. Children with autism are usually very hard on their clothes. Our son is a messy eater, tends to chew the collars on his shirts, still has accidents and often wears through the knees on his pants because he loves to spin on his knees. So clothes are always a great get.
• Be picky with fidget gift sets or sensory friendly gift sets. My sister sent our son a gift that had been advertised as a perfect gift for a child with autism. It was a plastic bin filled with sand, small objects for him to find in the sand and other fidget toys. As soon as I saw it, I gasped internally. The way my son explores new things is by putting them in his mouth. She meant well, of course, but didn’t know that about her nephew as she’s not often around him. Before you go for any of those kits, check with the parents first to see if it would be the right gift for that child. And remember, the best present of all, is just being present in their lives.

Do you have questions about your child’s development? The team at As You Are provides diagnostic evaluations for kids 16 months to 10 years old via telehealth appointments.

Disclaimer: I am not a medical professional. This is a sponsored blog post, but all opinions are my own.

“Autism to us, in our household, it’s our normal. I don’t see it as a barrier for their excellence at all,” she said, beaming with pride for her children.

But when asked about her journey to getting her two kids an autism diagnosis, she takes a deep breath before sharing her story because the years leading up to this point were filled with waitlists, paperwork, and frustration.

“It was just brick wall after brick wall,” she said.

By the time her son, Hendrix, was 10 years old, Takeallah had been trying for 5 years to get him into therapy. She needed an official medical diagnosis that a therapy center would accept. Waitlists for in person autism evaluations were far too long and that’s when she started doing her own research. At the same time, she noticed her 2 year old was showing signs of autism. Takeallah was very motivated to find help for both of her kids and that’s when she discovered a virtual clinic for autism evaluations called As You Are.

“I Googled, ‘autism evaluation online’ because it was the height of COVID and thought maybe somebody had developed a program that could evaluate my children online. As You Are popped up and it was a very rapid fire experience. Within a month, both evaluations were done and I had a report,” she said.

Takeallah was also aware that there could be long wait lists for therapy. That was the next hurdle she was worried about until she met her As You Are “Care Sidekick,” a name for a member of the care coordination team who connects families to resources in their zip codes. She says all of the therapy centers in her area accepted the diagnosis from As You Are.

“I worked with Care Sidekick, Heather, and we met twice. Within those two meetings, they connected me to all of my child’s therapies. Occupational, speech, everything. A process that took me 5 years for my oldest only took a few months for my youngest,” she said.

Now with an official medical diagnosis and therapy in place, Takeallah is excited for Hendrix and Racquel’s future. Her next goal: Encouraging every parent she meets to embrace autism.

Learn more about As You Are’s virtual autism evaluations. Check out more family stories here.

“My husband and I wanted to get her diagnosed, but it’s a natural feeling to be in denial at the same time. You almost don’t want to face the fact that this could be the outcome. And it’s scary because you don’t know what that entails for the child. I would tell a parent that it is the best thing that you can do for your child, and it’s the most helpful for us in understanding her behaviors and her interactions with people and how she processes the world around her. We’ve all learned from her and it’s the best thing that anyone can do,” she said.

But Natalie says she didn’t even know where to start to try and get a diagnosis until she watched a news story that stopped her in her tracks.

“I was scrolling through Instagram and saw an interview on a local news channel with a mother who was having the same issue I was and that interview was about the success she had through As You Are,” she said.

As You Are, she learned, is a virtual clinic for autism evaluations for kids. She’d be able to get answers in just a few weeks. An issue Natalie has faced for more than a year was resolved in minutes when she visited AsYouAre.com and submitted her information to schedule an autism evaluation for Emmerson.

“The rest is history,” she said. “As You Are turned out to be a Godsend.”

Not only was Emmerson able to be seen quickly, she was happy that the evaluation was conducted over telehealth. Emmerson was born during the pandemic, and Natalie says her daughter is most comfortable at home. On top of that, Natalie loved that As You Are is headquartered in San Antonio, where she lives.

“I was like how perfect this is, that this is spearheaded out of this area and what better program to help us than someone who is here. We just thought it was a sign,” she said.

Now, post autism diagnosis, she says 3-year-old Emmerson is thriving.

“She is the epitome of a ball of energy. Nonstop. When we suspected there were issues, she wasn’t hitting milestones, she was having trouble communicating. It was important to us that we could help her and having the diagnosis is so important. With the help of As You Are, I was able to identify her struggles and help her,” she said.

Do you have questions about your child’s development? The team at As You Are provides diagnostic evaluations for kids 16 months to 10 years old via telehealth appointments. Learn more at AsYouAre.com.

Autism Mom and Contributing Writer for As You Are, a virtual clinic dramatically increasing access to early autism diagnostic services through the use of exclusively telehealth appointments

My son Louie had some of the cutest fine baby blonde hair I’ve ever seen, and I waited two years to have it cut.

He had not yet been diagnosed, but we already knew he had a genetic disorder and significant developmental delays.

Luckily for us, his grandmother is a retired hair stylist. And she took her job as the personal groomer for all of her grandchildren very seriously at the time.

When it came time for our son Louie to sit in her chair, he, like his neurotypical siblings and cousins, he wiggled and did anything but sit still for the big moment.

She only used scissors, knowing noisy clippers freak any kid out that age.

We got by with grandma’s scissor cuts for a few years until she began devoting all of her time caring for her husband as he battled cancer.

I saw a discount hair salon near our house and decided to give it a try.

Let’s just say, it didn’t go like grandma’s did.

The stylist was about his grandmother’s age – at least, she looked like it to me. I hoped her maternal instinct would kick in when I asked her to be patient because my son has special needs and might be a little more challenging than her other clients.

By that time, he was already in her chair.

She barely looked at me and looked annoyed that I was hovering over him to gently hold his legs in the chair so he wouldn’t try to swing them too much — or bolt. And she was annoyed that he wasn’t looking up from his iPad.

She didn’t listen when I told her he wouldn’t do well with clippers, and he spun his head around and opened his mouth as soon as she tried to use them.

“He’s trying to bite me!” she shouted.

To this day, I have no idea why I let her finish the job instead of just grabbing him and storming out.

The haircut was terrible.

The experience was terrible for all of us.

A few weeks later, I tried a different discount salon down the street.

This time, I had a discussion with the stylist before I put my son in the chair, explaining his aversion to clippers and how he’s used to his grandmother’s scissors. Then I asked the stylist if she still wanted to cut his hair, or if we should go somewhere else because I didn’t want a repeat of what we had experienced the last time.

That was six years ago. And the stylist we met that day is a member of the sacred village that helps us raise our son.

She talked to Louie and explained everything she was doing, even though he kept his head down looking at his iPad and is nonverbal.

And, she invested in a silent pair of clippers. He’s still not the biggest fan of them. And, some hair cuts go better than others for him to this day.

I’ve since read news stories about other stylists across the country devoting one day a month or a week strictly to special needs clients. They really are out there.

The most important thing I can tell you about adventures in hair cutting along this journey is to try and seek out a stylist and have an honest conversation with them before you even set foot in the door, let alone let your child sit in their chair.

Establish expectations ahead of time.

Tell them it could get loud and challenging inside their salon.

Share what has gone right and what has gone wrong in previous appointments.

And, most of all, realize it might not go well every time.

You may have to end it early.

Or you might not even get to the chair at all.

But at least you’ve done all you can to prepare for this part of the adventure.

Do you have questions about your child’s development? The team at As You Are provides useful autism screening and diagnostic evaluations for kids 16 months to 10 years old via telehealth appointments.

Disclaimer: I am not a medical professional. This is a sponsored blog post, but all opinions are my own.

Autism Mom and Contributing Writer for As You Are, a virtual clinic dramatically increasing access to early autism diagnostic services through the use of exclusively telehealth appointments

Voice stimming.

The first time my son Louie learned that he can make a sound by sucking in air through his throat, he looked stunned.

The feeling combined so many of his favorite sensory experiences.

Noise. Vibration. And oral sensation.

He was proud of himself.

And I was proud of him.

For me, watching my son learn how to find ways to satisfy his sensory-seeking nature brings me as much joy as watching him meet the preconceived milestones the medical community puts on neurotypical children.

It’s his way of learning how to cope with his unique sense of being in this world.

For verbal kids, vocal stimming may include singing the same song repeatedly, making animal noises, and repeating words or phrases they hear that, for whatever reason, help them process the world around them.

We call my son’s particular favorite type of voice stimming at this point in our lives, happy growling.

For a short while – thankfully – he loved to shriek as high-pitched as he could possibly get whenever he was excited.

And that happens a lot.

Every once in a while, he still screeches – especially when we are in a public bathroom that echoes, or a parking garage for the same reason.

He also loves to screech when he’s at an indoor pool where the echo is just too irresistible to him.

It also shows us that he is capable of memory – something we weren’t sure he had, because he is nonverbal and we can’t ask him about his favorite memories.

His voice stimming has truly given us a glimpse into what his little mind is storing – even though he’s not saying anything to us with words.

As soon as he sees a public bathroom door, or gets into an indoor pool area, his stimming starts up as he connects those types of surroundings with those sounds he loves so much.

Though it’s unpleasant to us and others around us, I try not to shush him when he screeches, but rather tell him how it hurts my ears and ask if he could be a little more quiet.

The best trick is redirecting him, quickly, if it gets to be too much.

Oftentimes, that means showing him his chewy necklace that also satisfies his oral sensory seeking needs.

Or telling him to look at something else.

But his growling is something we let him run with. It’s a low enough bellow that others might not hear at all.

Sometimes, he does it when he gets constipated to try and hold in the pain he knows might come with a bowel movement. When he sucks in air through his throat it helps his pelvic floor muscles flex, too. So, we know if that’s happening, he might need some fiber.

He’s also figured out that if he flaps his hands while he does his happy growl, it creates a different sound as the air moves into his throat to a pattern matching his flaps. It creates a more choppy sound, like when someone talks into a fan.

We know when he’s flappy, he’s happy.

And this is how he shows it.

Do you have questions about your child’s development? The team at As You Are provides useful autism screening and diagnostic evaluations for kids 16 months to 10 years old via telehealth appointments.

Disclaimer: I am not a medical professional. This is a sponsored blog post, but all opinions are my own.

Autism Mom and Contributing Writer for As You Are, a virtual clinic dramatically increasing access to early autism diagnostic services through the use of exclusively telehealth appointments

There is a rule in newspaper writing: don’t bury the lead.

The lead sentence is the most important sentence of a story.

It’s the first sentence.

It’s got to contain a fact that could change everything about the way you read the rest of the story – or whether you’re even interested in reading the story at all.

Burying the lead between paragraphs full of details that aren’t as important is a mistake.

For me, when my son was first diagnosed with autism, I felt like his diagnosis was the lead sentence for every conversation, every introduction, every encounter I ever had with people about him.

I found myself saying, “I have three boys, and my youngest has autism,” right from the beginning.

As the years have passed, I have found myself saying a lot more about him than just his diagnosis because there is so much more to him.

So, I break the cardinal rule of newspaper writing when it comes to telling stories about my son to people.

I think it helps people realize children and people with autism have likes and dislikes just like neurotypical people, because they are more than just the disorder.

Here’s what burying the lead looks like for my son.

My son loves veggie straws, dried fruits, chips and pretty much any food that crunches.

My son loves to swim.

My son loves to feel wind on his face, so the faster we go on a waverunner or a boat, the better.

My son loves to swing.

My son loves to listen to loud music.

My son loves to hang upside down.

My son loves to hang from monkey bars, showing the incredible strength he has in his core muscles and fingers.

My son loves to go for rides in wagons or go karts.

My son loves pizza.

My son loves toys that light up.

My son loves to go through car washes.

My son loves to go to arcades full of lights and games.

My son loves cheese.

My son loves to take baths and showers with his bath toys.

My son loves to find and watch many of the same videos on his iPad.

My son loves to watch Wild Kratts.

My son loves to scroll through pictures on my cellphone.

My son loves ice cream.

My son loves watching videos and listening to music by the band OK GO.

My son loves to lay on his dog.

My son loves going on boat rides.

My son loves tubing with his brothers.

My son loves swimming in a lake.

My son loves going to the zoo.

My son loves going to our local aquarium to watch all of the creatures in the tanks.

My son loves to jump.

My son loves rides that spin.

My son loves going to trampoline parks, so he can run across multiple trampolines or just jump in place as much as he can.

My son loves to climb.

My son loves to ride his school bus.

My son loves to wrestle with his older brothers.

My son loves Mexican restaurants because most of them serve chips before a meal.

My son loves to listen to audiobooks his grandparents record for him.

My son loves seeing his grandparents.

My son loves his brothers.

My son loves his parents.

My son doesn’t like to brush his teeth.

My son doesn’t like foods that feel squishy in his mouth.

My son doesn’t like it when we ask him to clean up a mess he’s made.

My son doesn’t like heights.

My son doesn’t like new shoes.

My son doesn’t like sitting still.

My son doesn’t like it when screen time ends.

My son doesn’t like to sleep somewhere he’s not familiar with.

My son doesn’t like it when it’s too cold or too hot outside.

My son doesn’t like getting his haircut.

My son has autism.

Do you have questions about your child’s development? The team at As You Are provides useful autism screening and diagnostic evaluations for kids 16 months to 10 years old via telehealth appointments.

Disclaimer: I am not a medical professional. This is a sponsored blog post, but all opinions are my own.

“I didn’t know how to help my son,” she said.

Month by month, Theresa kept pushing to get her son an appointment. 

“I don’t play when it comes to my kids. I will fight tooth and nail for whatever I need for them and this is just another one of my mom battles,” she said.

Then one day, she typed these words into Google: “Families dealing with autism and where to find help.” She discovered As You Are, a virtual clinic for autism evaluations for kids. 

She says her first thought was, “It doesn’t hurt to try.”

To her amazement, As You Are was able to get Calvin scheduled within two weeks. By getting that appointment, Theresa said she was pulled out of a dark place.

“I actually have hope and see the light at the end of the tunnel. You feel you are locked in a closet and someone opens the closet and you are free again,” she said.

With the rollercoaster that Theresa had been through, it was a relief to have a fantastic experience throughout all three live video sessions with their dedicated As You Are physician. 

“As You Are had him with a doctor and diagnosed in a month of me reaching out versus a 4-year waitlist and already waiting 2 years. Dr. Tracy Burton was amazing. I would love to meet her in person just so I could hug her. She made me realize everything I went through was exactly what I was supposed to be doing as a parent and that I wasn’t failing,” Theresa said.

Now Calvin is enrolled in therapies and Theresa is no longer waiting for answers.

She said, “It was like having the Empire State building taken off my shoulders. I’ve been singing As You Are praises to anyone who will listen. Whoever decided to build this should be put in a special place in heaven.”

Do you have questions about your child’s development? The team at As You Are provides diagnostic evaluations for kids 16 months to 10 years old via telehealth appointments along with useful resources, including an online autism screening. Learn more at asyouare.com.

Autism Mom and Contributing Writer for As You Are, a virtual clinic dramatically increasing access to early autism diagnostic services through the use of exclusively telehealth appointments

When my husband or my other children can’t find me or my son who has autism, they know where to look.

They call it potty snuggles.

When my son Louie gets off the toilet, and we work on pulling his pants up, sometimes he just wants to bolt out of there to try to avoid washing his hands.

Most times, though, he wants to curl himself up into as small of a ball as he can and snuggle in my lap.

Sometimes, it’s just for a brief moment.

Other times, it lasts for 10 to 15 minutes at a time.

And no matter what else I have going on in those moments, it all stops so his need to connect with me in a calm moment can happen.

His teachers frequently complain how there is no way to get him to sit still. Heck, my husband and I often complain about it, too.

It seems he’s always a kiddo in motion, even when he’s sitting, he’s flapping his hands, chewing his chewy necklace, or pushing his feet against a wall just to feel the pressure on his toes.

But when it’s potty snuggle time, he sits in silence, perfectly still.

He doesn’t try to make a sound.

He doesn’t react to any sounds around him.

He doesn’t seek any other sensory input.

The only thing he feels is my arms resting around him.

I will ask him if he is ready to go play with his iPad, or go get his pajamas or go get ready for school or eat, or whatever his next activity is going to be.

When he wants to snuggle, he doesn’t budge.

The absolute quiet we share in this most unexpected way is something I treasure so very much.

For him, showing affection can sometimes hurt. He oftentimes bites my shoulders when I pick him up to greet him. He sometimes pulls my hair. He will kick me with the back of his heel if I sit next to him on the couch just so a part of his body can touch mine. Sometimes he hits me, not hard, but enough to catch me off guard if I let it down for a minute.

None of these things are done out of aggression.

It is simply his sensory seeking way of reacting to the joy he feels when he sees me for the first time after work, or, even sometimes, just because he’s happy I’m there.

For my typical children, affection is predictable. I know it’s coming, based on what they say to me or how they move toward me. And I treasure their affection just as much.

For a child with autism, affection is something that comes in lots of unpredictable ways.

For us, it’s me sitting on the side of our bathtub with my little man curled up, resting his head on my chest, his knees tucked under his bottom and his arm around my waist.

And I absolutely love it, just like I love him.

Do you have questions about your child’s development? The team at As You Are provides useful autism screening and diagnostic evaluations for kids 16 months to 10 years old via telehealth appointments.

Disclaimer: I am not a medical professional. This is a sponsored blog post, but all opinions are my own.

“She stopped taking new patients and left the state,” Kathryn said. She even began to search outside of her region and look statewide. “There is one team at a college in the state that can do evaluations, but the referral list is way too long.”

In the midst of her research, she came across As You Are, a virtual clinic that provides autism evaluations to kids through telehealth appointments. 

“It was the craziest thing. The ad came up on my Facebook because I’d been searching, trying to find an appointment,” she said. “I clicked on the ad, scheduled an appointment, and now he has an official autism diagnosis.” 

Before moving to Vermont, Kathryn and her family lived in Arizona. When Dylan was 5 years old, Kathryn remembered looking for something just like As You Are because at the time, she would’ve had to drive 3.5 hours to San Diego just to get an appointment and have Dylan evaluated. And those waitlists were long on top of the commute. She was amazed by how smooth the process with As You Are was and was happy to have a virtual option so Dylan would be comfortable in his natural environment. 

Kathryn said, “The online format makes it easier. He was in his own playroom. He was more relaxed and better able to be himself. Going to a doctor’s office changes your kid – they act differently.”

As You Are also accepted their insurance based on Dylan’s individual plan. What could have been waiting years and driving for hours at a time turned out to be way easier than Kathryn ever imagined.

“It was great and really simplified everything so much,” she said. 

Do you have questions about your child’s development? The team at As You Are provides diagnostic evaluations for kids 16 months to 10 years old via telehealth appointments along with useful resources, including an online autism screening. Learn more at asyouare.com.

Autism Mom and Contributing Writer for As You Are, a virtual clinic dramatically increasing access to early autism diagnostic services through the use of exclusively telehealth appointments

When my neurotypical boys were toddlers, playtime possibilities seemed endless.

We could work on puzzles, draw pictures together, play board games together or go outside and make a game out of just about anything.

I could also tell them to go play, and they generally knew what I meant.

They would find any number of toys in their rooms – RC cars have been a crowd favorite in our household for years – or go outside, not too far, to play catch or have a water gun fight.

Louie’s version 

When our son who has autism came along, playtime took on a whole new meaning.

It is a struggle for eager grandparents to find that perfect holiday gift or birthday present because playtime for our son with special needs is so different.

His favorite activity by far is flipping through his speech therapy videos on his iPad. Not just flipping through them, but also rewinding them multiple times to hear a particular sound or word.

His therapists call this stimming – a term you’ll often hear for how children with sensory-seeking behaviors look to keep their senses stimulated in various ways.

When my son shows interest in something other than his iPad, it’s typically toys that light up, play music and make sounds when he touches a button on them. Repeatedly.

It’s fun, over and over again

When he was about a year old, he wore out the buttons on a particular toy that popped open doors and started playing music. He could sit and play with that toy for 20 to 30 minutes at a time, flap his hands and be surprised and excited every time those doors would pop open.

His grandparents also recorded voice books for him, so if he presses buttons on each page, he can hear his grandparents read them to him. And yes, he repeatedly pushes those buttons and doesn’t really stay on track with the book. Instead, he follows a sound he likes in their voices.

He also loves a piggy bank that he’s had since he was a baby that has large plastic coins that he can put through the slot, causing the piggy to vibrate and play music.

Repeatedly.

We’re on our third one.

Finding just about any container that has toys or pencils or coins in it – really anything in it – automatically gets dumped, then collected and put back in said container with some prompting. 

And, of course, on repeat.

He loves going to our neighborhood park and hanging for as long as he possibly can from the monkey bars. He also loves to try to flip himself upside down.

Lately, his favorite thing to do is open and close a large gate to a tennis court. It’s big and heavy, and he loves the feedback he gets from pushing on it, and the sound it makes when it screeches. This playtime lasted for 45 minutes just the other day, and I couldn’t have been happier to see him so happy doing it.

I would have stayed there for another hour if I could have just to see him get so much joy out of something so simple.

What I’m trying to say is that playtime for our son Louie is unlike playtime for any kid – including those with autism – I know.

Joy in the unexpected

All of his toys are toys with age recommendations on them for children younger than 24 months.

So, he doesn’t have any RC cars, or board games he can play with us. He can’t catch a ball with his brothers.

Instead, he has his own version of playtime.

His older brothers still try to rough him up just like any older brother would do. They absolutely love to swim with him because they know it brings him so much joy to be in water.

It is a fascinating journey to learn what playtime will look like for your child with special needs, because I can guarantee it will be nothing like the kind of playtime parents of neurotypical children will ever experience.

The sheer joy they will find in the most unexpected things is truly something to treasure. 

Do you have questions about your child’s development? The team at As You Are provides useful autism screening and diagnostic evaluations for kids 16 months to 10 years old via telehealth appointments.

Disclaimer: I am not a medical professional. This is a sponsored blog post, but all opinions are my own.

Autism Mom and Contributing Writer for As You Are, a virtual clinic dramatically increasing access to early autism diagnostic services through the use of exclusively telehealth appointments

Today, we had a victory.

A few, actually.

My son came home from school, got off of his school bus, and walked to the bathroom – without his babysitter leading him there.

He pulled down his pants – without someone prompting him to do so, or doing it for him.

Sat down on the toilet – without waiting for someone to put him on it.

And went to the bathroom.

His pull-up was dry.

That’s five wins all in the span of about five minutes.

And I’ve learned to hold onto them with both hands, so they can help get me through dark times that can so easily overshadow the beautiful moments along this journey.

In this life, it is easy to fall into the negative.

My child will never be able to do this or that.

Or, we aren’t even going to try to do this or that.

Try it. Maybe it will work, and maybe it won’t. Maybe it will work one time, and not the next.

Consistency and predictability are definitely not among the adjectives I would ever use to describe this life.

And yet, those are the adjectives that the children who have autism that I know desperately need and want to feel.

So, we try our best to create it for them and hope for the best.

Today, it paid off.

My son’s babysitter has been taking him to the bathroom when he gets home from school for years.

And today, his independent trip to the bathroom also showed me my son can do something we feared he may never be able to do.

It’s one of the best, brightest moments along a journey that can so easily be overtaken by hopelessness and darkness.

And, although it was such a small part of today, I made sure the feeling I had when I read the text message from his babysitter telling me about it lasted.

So when I read the behavior chart from school stating he had tried to elope from the classroom 10 times, I reminded myself, “Yes, but he went to the bathroom by himself today.”

When he bit me like he often does looking for a sensory response, I reminded myself, “Yes, but he went to the bathroom by himself today.”

And when he refused to open his mouth so we could brush his teeth, well, you get the picture.

Later, when I took him to the bathroom, he needed more prompting and direction.

So, he didn’t execute it with the same independent action that he had before.

And that was ok, because the important part of today was learning that he actually can do it. He is capable of doing it – even though he wasn’t when I took him to the bathroom.

That’s also part of this journey.

No two days are alike.

No two hours are alike.

Sometimes, no two minutes are alike.

And no two moments are alike.

That’s why it’s so important to hold onto the wins with both hands.

Don’t let them slip through your fingers and get lost in the darkness. 

Do you have questions about your child’s development? The team at As You Are provides useful autism screening and diagnostic evaluations for kids 16 months to 10 years old via telehealth appointments.

Disclaimer: I am not a medical professional. This is a sponsored blog post, but all opinions are my own.

“I have some health issues, so it’s difficult to travel and take all three of my kids anywhere,” Mikiah said. “The virtual option was really intriguing. I did some research and looked at reviews, news articles, and stories from other families to make sure it was legit, and then I scheduled an appointment.”

In about a month’s time, Ezekiel was diagnosed with autism and is now able to access the care he needs. Mikiah felt hopeful after receiving the results. 

She said, “There was a sense of relief because now we can get him services to help him with social behaviors and sensory stuff.”

The experience she had with the dedicated As You Are physician was very comforting to her. 

“I loved that the pediatrician not only was talking about autistic behaviors but also mentioned the strengths he had,” Mikiah said. “In that moment, I thought: everything is going to be okay, and we have help and support.”

Mikiah was so happy to have received the help her son needed from a team who made her feel supported and ensured a smooth process for her. 

She said, “I didn’t feel any ounce of discouragement or judgment. I felt very much supported.”

Do you have questions about your child’s development? The team at As You Are provides diagnostic evaluations for kids 16 months to 10 years old via telehealth appointments along with useful resources, including an online autism screening. Learn more at asyouare.com.

Autism Mom and Contributing Writer for As You Are, a virtual clinic dramatically increasing access to early autism diagnostic services through the use of exclusively telehealth appointments

The other day, I picked up my neurotypical children at a friend’s house and did a double take as I walked by a wall calendar in the family’s kitchen.

Every inch of space on nearly every day – and certainly every weekend – was covered with all kinds of activities.

The family has five children. All of them are neurotypical. All of them are athletic.

I told the mother I had no idea how she could keep up with all of it.

I came home that day and walked past my own wall calendar.

It seemed so bare.

Not Your Average Calendar

Our neurotypical twins play on the same sports teams, so other than their one game per weekend and practices, we really don’t have much on our calendar.

There is really nothing on the calendar for our son with autism.

I started to feel guilty – of course.

I started thinking I wasn’t keeping my son with autism busy enough.

Then, I went and sat down next to my son, Louie.

He was doing one of his favorite things – watching speech therapy videos on his iPad, snuggled up on our couch.

A few times, he got up, and started spinning and jumping around to the music he was hearing.

And his smile beamed from ear to ear.

Later that day, I went out of my way to get a car wash because that’s one of his favorite things to do.

We went grocery shopping. He rode in the cart, listening to his favorite songs. And he loved it.

These are things that I wouldn’t necessarily put on a calendar.

And yet, they are my son’s favorite things to do.

I started to realize that even though we didn’t have activities planned for him, that’s not what necessarily brings him joy.

The simpler things bring him joy.

Don’t Get Caught up in Comparison

I also read blogs and follow Facebook pages of other families of children with autism.

A few of them have touched on the same exact thing – the notion that our calendars aren’t necessarily full of the typical activities that keep kids most busy, and that’s perfectly okay.

Because our children find joy in a lot of the types of things we wouldn’t put on our calendars.

One dad I follow talked about how much time he spent on the weekends giving his son rides in the car. His son loves rolling down the window, feeling wind on his face and listening to music.

It’s how they spend at least an hour every Saturday morning.

And it’s perfect, because his son absolutely loves it.

And he loves nothing more than to see his son experience absolute joy and smile from ear to ear – even if it means a simple ride in the car.

A Simple Life, Not a Busy One

I started to feel better about our manageable schedule, and realized that my son with autism isn’t missing out on a busy life.

He doesn’t need to constantly be coming and going to different places and activities to have a fun and fulfilling day.

And we don’t need to fill our calendar from top to bottom.

Whatever makes our son with autism smile is how best to spend our time – even if it’s not on the calendar.

Do you have questions about your child’s development? The team at As You Are provides useful autism screening and diagnostic evaluations for kids 16 months to 10 years old via telehealth appointments.

Disclaimer: I am not a medical professional. This is a sponsored blog post, but all opinions are my own.

She said, “I was put at ease by the whole situation.”

Make no mistake, this has not been an easy journey for Lakotah or her family. Lakotah says she echoed concerns about her son’s behaviors for years. Around two years old, she would notice that Anderson would rock back and forth, would progress and then regress when it came to speech, would always play with toys the same way, and would have a difficult time getting his attention, among other signs. Lakotah came across As You Are in a Google search, looked at reviews, and decided to put in a benefits investigation. She scheduled the appointment, and in the end loved that all of the visits were done over telehealth. 

“I thought it was amazing. My son has a lot of trouble with doctor’s appointments. He doesn’t like them very much. I thought it was really cool that I was able to do that at home, where he was comfortable, and could be himself and show the things I was concerned about,” she said.

She says the doctor was extremely “patient and understanding” during the video calls. When it was time for the results discussion, Lakotah describes her emotional reaction to hearing that her 5-year-old has autism.

“I was mad. I wasn’t mad because he had autism. I was mad because I was ignored for so long because I knew,” she said.

Since her son was officially diagnosed with autism by As You Are, Lakotah is thankful that she has been able to finally take those next steps for her son that she has been desperately seeking.

“Since the diagnosis, the school has set up more things in his IEP to help him. It’s been a lot emotionally but the outcome has been great. Now he can reach his full potential,” she said.

Do you have questions about your child’s development? The team at As You Are provides diagnostic evaluations for kids 16 months to 10 years old via telehealth appointments along with useful resources, including an online autism screening. Learn more at asyouare.com.

Autism Mom and Contributing Writer for As You Are, a virtual clinic dramatically increasing access to early autism diagnostic services through the use of exclusively telehealth appointments

Figuring out what my son enjoys doing is sometimes a challenge.

He’s nonverbal, so he can’t tell me.

But he sure can show me, with his flappy hands, his smile so wide it looks like it hurts his face, and sometimes a squeal.

As different as children with autism are from each other, I have found a few things my son likes to do that others like him seem to like to do, too.

Every time I meet another family who has a child with autism, I try to compare notes on what seems to bring them joy – hoping to find new things to try and unlock my son’s happiness.

I thought I would list them here in the hopes that your child may find delight in them as well.

And whatever brings a smile to your child’s face will likely bring one to yours.

Swimming

I recently visited a family whose 14-year-old son has autism.

I was at their house on business – there to talk to them about an experience they had that was completely unrelated to their son’s diagnosis as part of my job as a reporter.

We, of course, chatted about our children and what makes them tick.

I immediately noticed a pool they had in their backyard.

I told them how we have invested in a membership to our local public pool, and, thankfully, there is an indoor pool as well.

They said they couldn’t imagine their son’s life without the pool, and how he can spend hours just floating and flapping his hands under water.

My son loves to put his face under the water – something their son didn’t like to do as much.

Their son also prefers to jump in and out of the water as much as possible, where our son prefers to climb in and out on a ladder or the steps of a pool.

I’ve also talked with other families, who say their children with autism are drawn to the water.

We don’t have enough money to have a pool of our own, but our bathtub also does just fine while he’s little. We bought him some LED bath toys that flash colors and turn off the lights in the bathroom so he can see the colors dance around the room.

It is definitely one of his favorite ways to spend an evening before bed, and his older brothers get a kick out of helping him with his baths too.

Jumping

Trampolines are another one of my son’s favorite things.

The first time he went on one, he acted as if he were falling off the top of a skyscraper. Within just a few minutes of his older brothers assuring him it was fun, he began to bounce and crawl on the flimsy surface – entranced with the feedback of the fabric underneath him.

Now, at 9 years old, he mostly bounces on his feet – but he sometimes goes back to his knees, especially when the bouncing becomes a little higher than he was expecting.

He also loves to let his head go slightly back when he bounces.

His occupational therapist told me jumping on a trampoline is a vestibular sensory experience – stimulating and challenging his sense of balance and how his body interacts with gravity.

He has also learned that bigger people can make him bounce higher if they jump next to him, so he tries to take people by the hand he sees at trampoline parks and lead them to his trampoline when his older brothers or my husband and I get too tired to jump.

Yes, that’s right, this kiddo can tire out both of his 12-year-old twin brothers on a trampoline.

Three other families of children I know with autism have trampolines in their backyards, and some in their basements. My house isn’t big enough, so we visit trampoline parks as often as we can.

Vibration

My son’s occupational therapist noticed how oral sensory seeking my son is from the beginning.

She watched as he would chew up the collars of all of his shirts – so she suggested we use chewy necklaces. They remind me of old telephone cords – I know, I’m showing my age.

In addition, she recommended we try finding chewy toys that vibrate.

We thankfully didn’t have to look far, as there are many things that fit the bill.

My mother recently found a pillow that vibrates when pressure is applied to it. My son loves to bury his face in it, and seems to like the cause and effect of it as well.

Cheap massagers are also a crowd favorite for him to hold and put under his chin.

Other families who have children with autism have told me their children love to feel vibration as well.

We even let our son play with a battery-powered toothbrush, just to get him used to it and maybe make teeth brushing a little bit easier.

Listening to loud music

I think this kind of goes along with my son’s love for vibration.

He really enjoys listening to loud music – and he loves to find the speaker it is coming out of when he hears it.

He tries to sit as close to the speaker as possible, and loves to spin around on his heels, flap his hands and jump to the beat.

The more bass, the better.

On another visit with another family who has a child with autism, their son’s preferred calming method was jumping on a trampoline, while holding a cellphone in his hand playing John Mayer with the flashlight on in complete darkness.

My son’s favorite band is Ok Go. He loves to watch their music videos, too.

Many families who have children with autism – including ours sometimes – shy away from taking their child to large loud events like concerts, parades or festivals.

Our absolute no-go is anything with fireworks.

Otherwise, our son truly enjoys the sound of a concert or a parade – especially if there is a marching band.

It’s just trial and error when it comes to finding your child’s auditory sensory preferences.

I certainly never thought we would be doing as much as we are as a family now given how autism can make sensory overload a real struggle.

Again, that’s the beauty of a spectrum.

Swinging

One of my closest friends who gave birth to twins three months before I did used to tell me how she and her husband could not travel anywhere without their baby swing for their newborn son.

It was their crutch. Something about the motion of swinging helped calm him in ways neither of them could.

As he got older, he never lost his affinity for swinging.

And at the age of 3, he was diagnosed with Autism.

Suddenly, his craving for swinging made a lot of sense to them as they met others in the Autism community who enjoyed swinging and spinning as well.

My son also loves to swing. We are fortunate to live near a public park where he often likes to go and swing.

A sensory indoor gym not too far from our house also has an almost entire room full of different kinds of swings.

Spinning

Another sensory outlet for my son is spinning.

He loves to spin on the back of his heel, and the old sit and spin toy is also a crowd favorite for my son as well as other children I have met with Autism.

When he was much smaller, and I was younger, I could hold him and spin him in my arms.

He would laugh and smile, loving to throw his head back to feel as much of the force of gravity as possible.

Now, his older brothers spin him when they can.

His favorite swing at the sensory gym we go to also spins.

Everyone is different – yet they may have some things in common

 iPad or cellphone.

Our absolute crutch for anything and everything we do – including just spending time at home – is my son’s iPad.

This can be a somewhat controversial topic, as we constantly hear how screen time is so damaging for neurotypical children.

My older sons often complain about how much screen time their brother with special needs gets compared to them.

But they also understand how critical it is for his happiness and ability to calm himself.

They also marvel – as do we – at how well he seems to navigate his devices and what he actually spends his time watching and looking at when he has them.

He loves flipping through our pictures. In fact, it’s my cellphone he most often wants because I have the most pictures to look at.

And his favorite videos to watch repeatedly are the speech therapy videos, his speech therapist shares with him, as well as the songs he listens to at school that include the alphabet, some sign language and other educational programs.

iPad is also one of the few words he actually speaks.

Other families I’ve met who have children with autism also lean on electronic devices to help their children calm themselves as well as letting them have something they truly enjoy.

My son’s face lights up when I start to sing along to the speech therapy song he is listening to for the hundredth time.

And so does mine.

Do you have questions about your child’s development? The team at As You Are provides useful autism screening and diagnostic evaluations for kids 16 months to 10 years old via telehealth appointments.

Disclaimer: I am not a medical professional. This is a sponsored blog post, but all opinions are my own.

Autism Mom and Contributing Writer for As You Are, a virtual clinic dramatically increasing access to early autism diagnostic services through the use of exclusively telehealth appointments

Right answers and wrong answers.

In my experience along this autism journey, I’m learning more and more that there are no right or wrong answers.

There are only answers that are right for you and your family.

Learning On The Job

For others in the special needs community, the answers that are right for your family might not be the right answers for others.

And that can lead to some judgment – and an opportunity to grow for you and for others.

I learned this recently while interviewing a fellow mother of a child with autism for my job as a reporter.

She described her son to me as a high functioning special needs child. She specifically asked that I describe him in those words and in that order. He was the victim of a heinous crime that happened when he was out of her sight for less than three minutes.

So, I honored her wishes.

Identity-First and Person-First Language

She believed describing him in those words would help the public understand more about how he came to be victimized.

While many believe in identity-first language, many also believe in person-first language. . Instead of describing someone with special needs by leading with their special need, it may help people see them as a child, or a girl, a boy, a person.  As this article in the National Institutes of Health states, it’s not a one-size-fits-all approach.

As soon as my story published, I heard from several people. One was a teacher who said she works with children with special needs. She scolded me for describing the child in this story without using person-first language.

Another woman who said she has a child with autism scolded me for using the words, “high-functioning,” saying attaching labels to people in the autism community can be harmful.

I thanked both women for the time they took to respond and for sharing their thoughts.  

For them, those are their right answers.

And who am I to tell them they’re wrong?

Doing What’s Right for You

I simply told them that this is the language the child’s mother preferred to use to describe him to the world. And I told them I, too, have a child with autism. I told them my philosophy about right and wrong answers in this world.

And how this description is, for this mother, her right answer.

They wrote back to me, thanked me for my time and response.

And we all walked away from the situation respecting what’s right for each other might not be right for all of us, and that’s okay.

Do you have questions about your child’s development? The team at As You Are provides useful autism screening and diagnostic evaluations for kids 16 months to 10 years old via telehealth appointments.

Disclaimer: I am not a medical professional. This is a sponsored blog post, but all opinions are my own.

Autism Mom and Contributing Writer for As You Are, a virtual clinic dramatically increasing access to early autism diagnostic services through the use of exclusively telehealth appointments

I can feel myself take a deep breath and rush over anytime I see a kiddo approaching my son who has autism.

I have come to arm myself for it, automatically going into helicopter mode whenever another youngster innocently approaches and asks my son to play, only to look at him strangely when they don’t get an answer or get a reaction like flapping hands or sounds that don’t make sense in response.

A parent’s presence in a situation that plays out countless times on playgrounds or other places where kiddos gather can dramatically change the outcome.

Instead of feeling comfortable approaching your child, another child may see you as a stranger that their parents have rightfully told them not to talk to.

Lately, though, I have found myself pleasantly surprised by letting the scenario start to play out without my close presence, without my gentle instruction to other kids that my son understands what they’re saying, but just can’t talk back to them.

And I would encourage you, too, to find a balance between standing on guard and letting some of that guard down.

The Fruits of Inclusion

That’s because I truly do believe the world is becoming more aware of autism.

The way I measure that is by how other children approach my son, Louie.

At our neighborhood park, I saw a fully-functioning little girl take him by the hand and lead him to the splash pad. My heart skipped a beat when I saw her grab his hand, thinking surely he might grab hers and try to bite it in a feeling of excitement that overwhelms him so much he doesn’t know how else to express it other than to fulfill it in an oral sensation that gives him a release.

But, my tendency to anticipate the worst scenario took a back seat as I watched the moment unfold instead of trying to end it fearing something bad might happen and how I must protect my son no matter what.

She knew his name and she knew he wouldn’t have a typical reaction to her. Much to my surprise, she told me she went to school with him. She knew all about the “special” class he is in that does music, art and other special classes with hers.

The moment was over just about as quickly as it began, as my son preferred to explore the fountains at the splash pad without holding her hand. She ran along with him, completely oblivious and unoffended by how much he seemed to ignore her.

The fruits of inclusion – the push schools and society has made to integrate those with disabilities among those who do not – were blooming right before me.

Navigating Get-Togethers

A few other examples include recent get-togethers with friends who have typical children – one of them a 16-year-old boy, whose parents griped about how he has become the biggest bully to his younger brothers.

When it came to Louie, this teenager couldn’t get enough of him, taking him swimming in their pool, taking him for a walk along the boat docs, helping him eat and lifting him in the air by his arms and flipping him over like he loves to do.

He, too, goes to a public school where he is exposed to children with special needs.

We also visited with some friends who have a 12-year-old son, who is the same age as our typical twin boys.

We figured the three of them would have a blast together, and my husband and I would just have to manage Louie during the gathering.

We very much want our typical children to experience friendships and hang out with their peers and not constantly worry about their younger brother being included.

But this little boy made the decision for them. He was the one talking to Louie, encouraging him to go down a slide that intimidated him and pushing him on a swing.

Our twin boys fell in line, because doing those activities with their brother is something they do regularly. For them to see one of their peers actively including their little brother took them back a bit, too.

Letting Go and Having Hope

These moments have given me something to hold onto because apprehension about how the world will receive our son can take over.

It’s given me hope that society is changing the way it views – and interacts with – those who are different than most.

And it’s helped me stop bristling and bracing for the worst every time another child starts coming toward my son.

Do you have questions about your child’s development? The team at As You Are provides useful autism screening and diagnostic evaluations for kids 16 months to 10 years old via telehealth appointments.

Disclaimer: I am not a medical professional. This is a sponsored blog post, but all opinions are my own.

Autism Mom and Contributing Writer for As You Are, a virtual clinic dramatically increasing access to early autism diagnostic services through the use of exclusively telehealth appointments

Mac N Cheese does it.

So does swimming.

Any song or music video by the band OK Go.

The wind streaming across his face if we roll the car window down or if he’s on a boat ride.

Several select videos of animal sounds or speech therapy lessons he finds on his iPad.

And jumping for hours on a trampoline either by himself or with one of his older brothers, or an adult that can figure out he wants them to help him bounce higher can do it, too.

These are a few of the things that make our son Louie what I call flappy.

It’s a term I read in another autism mom’s post.

It describes how many children with autism flap their hands when the feeling of sheer excitement and happiness comes over them and they don’t know how else to express it.

So, they flap. And they’re happy. Flappy.

It’s become one of the most beautiful sights to me through the years.

And it helps me realize that things that bring my son true and utter joy are actually quite simple – unlike how complex it can be to experience true uncontrollable happiness for those without autism.

There are times when I grieve for all of the feelings and experiences my son will never know.

But there are also times – more often than not these days as we continue along this journey – when I realize maybe that’s not as bad as I thought it could be.

I know and experience and feel all of the disappointment, hurt and sorrow that comes along with being let down by others around my son.

I feel it when other children look at him and maybe laugh because they don’t understand what they’re seeing.

But my son Louie, feels none of it.

Instead, he feels pure joy in the simplest of things.

And, it’s so intense, he can’t think of a way to show it other than to flap his hands feverishly as if he just touched something hot and is trying to shake the pain off his fingers.

Finding things that make him flappy has become a mission of mine, but, I must confess, he makes it pretty easy.

Sometimes, it’s just seeing a dog walk past us in the park that can do it.

Sometimes, it’s when he sees me come home from work, or his dad or grandma.

Or when one of his brothers says his favorite word at the moment, “Duck,” and quacks.

Of course there are lots of things that can upset him as well. I don’t mean to paint a picture that this journey is full of hearts and rainbows all the time.

But I can tell you, the number of times I see my son flappy on a daily basis outweighs his bouts of frustration about things he cannot communicate.

I sometimes wish I knew what it felt like to feel flappy over the simplest of things – and feel none of the deep emotions that come with being the parent of a child on this journey.

I’m the one who worries, not him.

He’s too busy feeling flappy over the simplest of things. 

Do you have questions about your child’s development? The team at As You Are provides useful autism screening and diagnostic evaluations for kids 16 months to 10 years old via telehealth appointments.

Disclaimer: I am not a medical professional. This is a sponsored blog post, but all opinions are my own.

Dr. Sallade is a certified school psychologist who is experienced in evaluating children for autism and other neurodevelopmental challenges. She is the Director of Clinical Operations of As You Are, a virtual clinic dramatically increasing access to early autism diagnostic services through the use of exclusively telehealth appointments.

If your child receives a diagnosis of autism spectrum disorder, it’s natural to have lots of questions. One of the most common questions I hear is, “When do I tell my child about this autism diagnosis?” Or, “Do I have to say anything to my child about this diagnosis?”

Although the phrasing may vary, parents are very often concerned about what to tell their children, how to tell their children, and whether to tell their children at all. No matter how old your child is, it’s smart to think through these issues now, so you’re ready in the future. Here are some tips that can help.

“When” ultimately depends on the child

Every child with autism is unique, and you know your child best. You should take your child’s specific strengths and challenges into account as you decide when to talk with your kiddo about the diagnosis and next steps. For example, children who have intellectual disabilities may not need too many details. For high-functioning children who realize they’re different, it often makes sense to talk with them about it soon after the diagnosis.

A diagnosis can lead to self-acceptance  

For anyone, at any age, compassion is key to self-acceptance. If you’re trying to improve in some area of your life, you can make more changes if you are compassionate with yourself and are not too judgmental. For kids who realize they’re different from their neurotypical peers, but don’t understand how or why, it can be a struggle to give themselves the love and kindness that they deserve. 

An autism diagnosis is not an excuse, but it is an explanation. Knowing about autism and how it affects them can help your child understand that their differences are just part of who they are and are not something to degrade or belittle themselves about. As a person with autism, your child may have to approach certain things differently – but, everyone has different challenges

Self-acceptance can have lifelong benefits

If you’re not sure whether to broach the subject with your child, consider this: self-acceptance and self-awareness can lead to better well-being later in life for people with autism, according to a 2022 study.

I understand that as a parent, you may not feel comfortable with the idea of burdening your child with a label. And I agree that the specific diagnosis doesn’t matter – their unique challenges, and how they deal with them, are what matters. And self-awareness is an important skill for all children to develop, including those who have received an autism diagnosis. Accepting who you are as an individual is powerful. 

Your child may have questions

Kids have a way of asking great questions – sometimes before we feel ready to answer them. So whatever you decide to do regarding sharing diagnosis details, it’s smart to make a plan about when you want to tell your child and how you will approach the conversation. That way, you won’t be caught unprepared.

I encourage parents in my practice to be as open as they can with their children, and that includes being honest about their diagnosis in an age-appropriate way. By showing your child that an autism diagnosis is nothing to be ashamed of, you’ll be preparing them to develop into a confident individual.

For additional resources, check out additional blogs.

Autism Mom and Contributing Writer for As You Are, a virtual clinic dramatically increasing access to early autism diagnostic services through the use of exclusively telehealth appointments

One of our autistic son’s favorite things to do is swim.

He absolutely loves the feeling of being in the water, and loves feeling like he can’t touch the bottom. He loves the feeling he gets when he’s just about to jump in, but holds himself back.

The way he shows how excited he is is to screech and sometimes let out a blood curdling scream.

It’s definitely jarring to hear a small child scream like that around water.

That’s why we try to stay on top of him whenever we go to public pools where people don’t know him or how to interpret it.

We are fortunate to have a relative who lives in a condo complex with a pool we frequently visit in the summer. Most everyone in the complex knows our son, so he is free to squeal and screech all he wants while soaking up all of the sensory satisfaction the pool gives him.

But on one recent afternoon, he did it while swimming near an older couple who didn’t know him.

They went rushing to him while he was in the water and helped him toward the stairs.

I went over to them and immediately started apologizing like I always do and explaining he is autistic and nonverbal and this is just how he expresses how much he loves the water.

The woman looked at me and told me she is a retired special needs educator.

So, I launched into an explanation of how sensory seeking he is, how he struggles to communicate, so we get a lot of screeching and screaming when he’s so excited he can’t contain himself or express it like you or I would.

Then she asked me: Tell me about what he can do.

I stood there kind of stunned.

No one had ever really asked me that – especially someone in the education field.

Rarely is there ever any talk about what he can do.

The IEP meetings or conversations with teachers and therapists are usually really emotionally tough, because we have to have honest discussions about whether he is progressing or not. 

And more often than not, he’s not.

Every application we ever fill out to get services for him, or grant money for him involves checking boxes or discussions about what he can’t do.

But for about 15 minutes, I sat there with this woman, a perfect stranger, and talked about what he can do.

At times, I struggled to come up with more things he can do.

We become so conditioned to focus so intensely on what our children can’t do, it is easy to sit back and lose sight of what they can. And, again, this woman told me she was a retired special needs educator, so I immediately thought she would want to hear all that he couldn’t do. 

She helped me along in the conversation, asking if he uses a communication device.

I told her he does, but he’s making very slow progress on it as well.

Then she said, yes, but he can use it.

Afterwards, I felt so much better about my son, the situation, and, obviously, it’s still stayed with me.

I told her about how he no longer needs physical therapy because the therapist and I believe he met all of his goals.

I talked about how he eats a lot with his hands because for the longest time he didn’t eat anything, and was even on a feeding tube for about a year. So, we’ve just let him eat with his hands because he loves the sensory experience of touching his food – and, most importantly, he eats!

She told me it sounds like he’s come so far.

I sat back and told her, he really has.

And thanked her for reminding me of that.

She went back to her shady spot at the pool, and I went back to the perch where I always sit to make sure I can see my son wherever he may be in the water.

The next time he screeched and splashed with excitement, she looked at me from across the pool.

And we just smiled. 

Do you have questions about your child’s development? The team at As You Are provides useful autism screening and diagnostic evaluations for kids 16 months to 10 years old via telehealth appointments.

Disclaimer: I am not a medical professional. This is a sponsored blog post, but all opinions are my own.

“I was calling around to different places and couldn’t get through. One place I did talk to told me I would need to call back every day to see if anything was available,” Koriann said. “I’m a mom of four – I don’t have time to call every single day.” 

Addilyn’s pediatrician was able to find a virtual clinic that provides autism diagnostic evaluations through telehealth appointments called As You Are. When the pediatrician called Koriann to let her know about it, she immediately went to the website and was able to schedule an appointment that same week. Addilyn was diagnosed with autism within a month, and Koriann was relieved to finally have an official diagnosis.

She said, “I have three other kids, so I was expecting something but wasn’t sure if it would be autism or not.”

Koriann was very happy with her experience and was thankful that the evaluation was covered by Addilyn’s individual insurance plan. 

“I’m super glad I found As You Are,” she said. “The whole process was very easy to follow, and the team was so helpful and nice. I’ve even recommended it to other people.” 

Do you have questions about your child’s development? The team at As You Are provides diagnostic evaluations for kids 16 months to 10 years old via telehealth appointments along with useful resources, including an online autism screening. Learn more at asyouare.com.

Autism Mom and Contributing Writer for As You Are, a virtual clinic dramatically increasing access to early autism diagnostic services through the use of exclusively telehealth appointments

My husband and I thankfully have a very close relationship.

We’ve been together since we were teenagers.

We started out as friends, and remain each other’s best friend.

Raising a child with special needs, however, can test even the strongest of marriages, relationships or partnerships.

Many end in divorce or breakups.

There is a lot of marital advice out there that applies to parents raising special needs children – taking time to reconnect alone and spending money on respite care for your kiddo is definitely at the top of the list.

My husband and I should do that more often.

But my biggest piece of advice is paying attention to what is said during some of what may seem like the most insignificant or everyday moments.

We were driving home recently from a short trip to my husband’s family’s lake house.

It is pretty much the only place we can take our children and they all have a great time.

It’s the only place we go for vacation as a family because Louie somewhat knows what to expect and it isn’t a complete shock to him to adjust to a new environment for sleeping.

As we were driving home, our Louie began throwing a tantrum in the car.

He kept screaming the only sounds he knows how to make, which mostly sound like, “no, no, no.” He threw his iPad, his Assistive Communication Device, his water bottle and just about everything else we put in front of him.

My husband was driving and let out this big sigh and an expletive.

I tensed up and snapped at him for getting mad at our son.

“He’s just frustrated because he can’t tell us what he wants, and you need to understand, he’s higher functioning than a lot of other children with autism,” I told him.

“That’s not the point Christine. It’s not about how much more or less he can do than other kids. I’m not mad at him, I’m mad at the fact that he’s 9 years old and he still can’t tell us if he wants water,” he told me.

I sat there for a moment.

I had seen him get short with our Louie a few times during our vacation, grabbing his hand and walking with him a little too fast for my taste after Louie had just made a mess, or changing his pullup too quickly in my opinion and not letting Louie try to pull it up himself.

I felt myself starting to think my husband was getting mad at Louie for not being the little boy he expected him to be.

For not being typical.

But it couldn’t be further from the truth.

He’s mad because Louie is still making messes, still not communicating with us with any real continuity or consistency and still using pullups.

He’s mad that Louie can’t do these things at this point in his life.

But he’s not mad at Louie.

With our typical kiddos, he gets mad at them when they don’t listen. He gets mad at them when they get an attitude with us. He gets mad at them when they don’t put down their screens when we tell them too.

But it’s different.

He’s mad at them because they know better. Because they know how to be better. And because they know they shouldn’t be doing those things to us.

Louie doesn’t know he shouldn’t be dumping his food on the floor or only eating with his hands, or that he should be able to communicate with us or that he should be using the bathroom on his own.

Picking up on that subtle but meaningful difference in the way my husband expresses frustration with Louie vs. our neurotypical kids was an important thing for me to realize.

I, too, feel the same way.

I, too, am frustrated to see Louie struggle.

And that is a completely normal reaction.

That’s why it’s so important to do whatever it takes to remain on solid ground with your spouse or partner and really listen and observe what is said and what goes on during those sometimes everyday mundane moments where frustration can be misinterpreted.

They can be very telling.

And those are what best friends notice about each other.

Do you have questions about your child’s development? The team at As You Are provides useful autism screening and diagnostic evaluations for kids 16 months to 10 years old via telehealth appointments.

Disclaimer: I am not a medical professional. This is a sponsored blog post, but all opinions are my own.

Autism Mom and Contributing Writer for As You Are, a virtual clinic dramatically increasing access to early autism diagnostic services through the use of exclusively telehealth appointments

My friend Barbara asked me to go to lunch one day, just me and her.

We usually had a lunch group of three or four, so I found this request a little odd.

As soon as we sat down, her posture looked like a balloon that had just deflated. Her shoulders slumped. She exhaled, and looked down.

She prefaced the conversation by saying how she knew the problem she was about to talk to me about paled in comparison to all that I face raising a child with autism, but that I was the only one she knew who had experience with special needs.

So, she turned to me.

Then, she told me she believed her 3-year-old son had a speech delay.

I asked her if she had gone to the doctor, explored the local speech therapy programs at the two premiere pediatric hospitals we are fortunate to have where we live, and started running through all the checklists I could think of.

As she continued to answer, “No,” to most of my questions, tears began to fill her eyes.

“And that makes me such a terrible mother,” she told me.

I reassured her that even taking the brave step of asking to talk to me and say out loud what she believed was going on with her son takes incredible strength.

Her shoulders perked up a bit.

I also told her how many resources were available to kiddos with speech delays and how promising it was that she was recognizing it so early, so early intervention could really help.

“There’s a whole world out there dedicated to this particular issue and there is so much hope,” I told her.

Then, she said something that has never left me.

“Yes, but I don’t want to be part of that world.”

This moment happened about eight years ago. And I remember it plain as day. Many people may read her response and think how selfish she must be.

I’ll admit, it took me back at first.

But, as I thought about it more, I realized what she meant.

I felt the same way when our son was first diagnosed. I always thought about how the autism community had become so widely known and resourceful that people in that situation were so fortunate to have it.

Then, when it became our turn to join it, it took a while for me to find the strength to do so.

That conversation also reminded me how difficult it is to trust our instincts, even when they lead you to a place you never wanted to be.

Barbara could tell her son had a delay. Her instincts were telling her it was there, and that her son needed help.

But wrapping her mind around researching a world she never thought she or her son would be a part of was holding her back.

And yes, her son was missing out on crucial early intervention the longer she took to have him evaluated and then signed up for therapy.

But I didn’t have to tell her that.

She already knew it, and that was making her feel even worse about the situation.

She was heartened when I told her how it took me some time to get our son enrolled in various therapies. It is also a world I was formerly comfortable admiring from afar, too.

When it became my turn to join it, it didn’t happen instantly either.

That’s because it is, and will always be, hard to trust my instincts when they lead me to a place I never wanted to be – a place I especially never wanted my child to be.

But I know, and had to tell Barbara, the strength to follow them will come. 

Do you have questions about your child’s development? The team at As You Are provides useful autism screening and diagnostic evaluations for kids 16 months to 10 years old via telehealth appointments.

Disclaimer: I am not a medical professional. This is a sponsored blog post, but all opinions are my own.

Autism Mom and Contributing Writer for As You Are, a virtual clinic dramatically increasing access to early autism diagnostic services through the use of exclusively telehealth appointments

Before I became the parent of a child with autism and other special needs, I had a deep admiration for parents of special needs children.

And, I still do.

Now, however, many of the cliches I used to use when talking to them have taken on a whole different meaning to me, and I see why some of them can be harmful.

Someone trying to make it into something positive – especially when they haven’t experienced it themselves – is a negative.

Here are some of the most common phrases people – including family members – have said to me that now make me cringe.

And here are some ideas on what to say instead.

You’re only given as much as you can handle.

 But what if you’re at a point where you don’t feel like you are handling it?

Or you aren’t handling it particularly well at that moment?

If I was given this because I can handle it and I’m not handling it, it can send us into some very dark thoughts.

You never know how someone is coping with the diagnosis when you say this to them.

And it often changes throughout someone’s journey parenting a special needs child.

Telling someone I was given this so we should be able to handle it also trivializes how much there actually is to handle. 

It also creates a sense of isolation, like we should just handle it all on our own without any of the type of help parents with neurotypical kiddos get from other parents or family members.

And others are still on their journey to wrap their minds around a diagnosis they never saw coming and struggle to handle.

Instead, offer ways to help us handle the diagnosis, whether that be through offering to watch our special needs children so we can have a break without having to pay for it, or perhaps offering to drive our children to a therapy appointment just like you would offer a typical child a ride to baseball practice.

Just like you offer to help parents of typical kids with carpooling or babysitting or “handling” parenthood in general, we need help, too.  

Special children are born to special people.

Many parents of special needs children – especially mothers – already search for a reason why their child was born with special needs.

And oftentimes for mothers, that search turns inward because we are the ones who carried our child in our bodies. It was our responsibility to keep them safe from harm while they grew inside of us. And some of us will always struggle with wondering whether the diagnosis is somehow our fault.

I know I do.

For years, I believed that an anti-anxiety prescription that I was taking before I knew I was pregnant led to my child’s genetic disorder and autism diagnosis.

Every doctor I have ever talked to about it tells me there is absolutely no scientific research that shows a connection between the two.

Still, to this day, nine years later, I still struggle with believing them.

The truth is, many of us don’t feel special because our child was born with special needs.

Instead, tell parents how much you admire their strength even if they don’t feel like they’re strong because you know a diagnosis is a lot to handle. And, as always, offer to be present for them. Offer to listen if they need someone to talk to.

A lot of times the last thing we are looking for is someone who is not in our situation to try to offer advice or some type of positive thought. What we’re looking for is someone to just acknowledge that we are going through a lot and to let us know you will be there for us.

It also means a lot to hear someone acknowledge their ignorance about this topic and, again, just offer to be there for us.

 Everything happens for a reason.

Yes, we know, and we will spend the rest of our lives trying to figure out why. We don’t need someone who is not in this situation reminding us of that.

A lot of that soul searching we will do searching for why it happened will include feelings of anger, guilt and wondering if the diagnosis is, again, somehow our fault.

Many parents of special needs children take a long time just to arrive at accepting the diagnosis.

Some families believe raising a child with autism gives them a reason to look at life a little differently. And that’s great for them. But they came to that conclusion on their own – not because someone else told them to.

Instead, acknowledge how hard it must be not to know the answers to all of the questions we have about why our child was born with autism. That opens the door to allow us to once again confide in you if we need someone to listen.

Do you have questions about your child’s development? The team at As You Are provides useful autism screening and diagnostic evaluations for kids 16 months to 10 years old via telehealth appointments.

Disclaimer: I am not a medical professional. This is a sponsored blog post, but all opinions are my own.

She said, “The wait times here were just too long. A couple of the places said they weren’t even taking new patients, and the others were just way too long to even join.”

Things started to turn around when Kyle’s early intervention care coordinator recommended she check out As You Are, a virtual clinic that provides autism diagnostic evaluations through telehealth appointments. She scheduled an appointment on As You Are’s website right away, and Kyle was diagnosed with autism in less than a month. 

“My experience was awesome. They really went above and beyond,” she said. “The doctor was very personable, and you can tell she cares about what she does.”

Not only did the family have a positive experience with the doctor, but Jessica explained that they were also happy with the assistance they received from the Care Sidekick, which helped connect them to services in their area. 

“The Care Sidekick has been really good with checking up and providing suggestions for centers in the area, as well as providing documentation to different places for different things,” Jessica said. “The team has been very efficient and helpful. I can always call and get a hold of someone.”

They went from not being able to find an appointment anywhere to getting the answers they needed in less than a month, and Jessica was thrilled with the care Kyle received.

“I recommend As You Are to everyone,” she said. “Places around here aren’t typically like that, they tend to just treat people like a number.”

Do you have questions about your child’s development? The team at As You Are provides diagnostic evaluations for kids 16 months to 10 years old via telehealth appointments along with useful resources, including an online autism screening. Learn more at asyouare.com.

Dr. Sallade is a certified school psychologist who is experienced in evaluating children for autism and other neurodevelopmental challenges. She is the Director of Clinical Operations of As You Are, a virtual clinic dramatically increasing access to early autism diagnostic services through the use of exclusively telehealth appointments.

Although this article’s title may describe what you’re wondering about – How should I react? How will I react? – the truth is, there is no right or wrong way to react to the news that someone you love has been diagnosed with autism. Whether it’s your child, a loved one, or even yourself, it’s difficult to predict how you might react to learning about an autism diagnosis until it happens. 

The most important thing to know is that there are many ways to react to an autism diagnosis. Feeling a mix of emotions, fluctuating among different or contradictory emotions, and feeling confused about how you’re feeling are all normal!

Adjusting to the news of an autism diagnosis takes longer than a moment. Everyone processes this type of information differently, so there’s no set timeline. It’s a process, and it takes time to go through. The best thing to do is to give yourself the time, space, and patience to feel whatever you’re feeling. Acknowledging your emotions is the first step to moving forward. 

Here are some of the things you may be feeling:

• Shock – It may feel like you can’t take in what the doctor or therapist is saying. 
• Numbness – At first your reaction might be “eh, it’s no big deal.” Your brain may do this at first to protect you from having to deal with lots of emotions all at once.
• Fear – You may worry about what will happen in the future and what people will think.
• Shame – You may feel embarrassed and worry about how this diagnosis reflects on you, your family, and your loved ones. You may think you’re not worthy of love and respect because you, your child, or a loved one has this condition (Reality check: You are worthy of love and respect. An autism diagnosis does not make anyone “less than” and is not your fault.)
• Anger – You may feel frustrated at the diagnosis or the “label.” It may be helpful to note that anger is really a mask for hurt, fear, frustration, or some combination of these.
• Grief – You may have had expectations or a vision for how your and your family’s life were going to, or should, unfold. You may grieve the loss of that imagined future.
• Relief – You may feel glad to finally have an answer to the concerns you’ve had.
• Hope – You may feel optimistic that you or your loved one will now get the support they need to thrive. Things will only get better from here.
• Pride – You and your family have come so far already and have overcome challenges that most people don’t have to face. You are now part of a strong, supportive community of people navigating life after an autism diagnosis, who are here to help.  

Once you’ve taken some time to process and feel your feelings. Take a deep breath and know that you are not alone! Everybody needs help from time to time, so reach out! Here are some resources to start: reach out to a doctor or therapist, find a support group, talk to family or friends, hear another mother’s experience. Then, you can start your journey.

For additional resources, check out some more Notes from the Doc blog articles.

Dr. Sallade is a certified school psychologist who is experienced in evaluating children for autism and other neurodevelopmental challenges. She is the Director of Clinical Operations of As You Are, a virtual clinic dramatically increasing access to early autism diagnostic services through the use of exclusively telehealth appointments.

Take a moment for yourself and your family to feel and process your feelings about the diagnosis.

You have been on a long road. It likely began the first time you noticed differences in your child. This may have led to hours upon hours of research, lengthy conversations with family, friends, doctors, teachers or caregivers, and a lot of emotions!  Then, you determined it was time to take action and go through with the  evaluation process. Now that you have arrived at a diagnosis, it’s time to take some time to feel your feelings and process your emotions. 

You may feel relieved that you have an answer that will make it easier to gather the resources and support your child will need to thrive. You may feel sadness or grief that things will be different from what you had envisioned. You may feel stressed and uncertain as you think about how your family’s life will change and what you’ll need to do to support your child. You may feel all of these emotions and more.

All of these emotions are normal. At this moment, give yourself and your family some grace and space to process these emotions. It’s okay to spend time working through those feelings – in fact, it’s healthy to do so. You don’t have to jump right into problem-solving mode.

Get support.

People in your community – family, friends, neighbors, school professionals, healthcare professionals, and others you may not even be aware of stand ready to give you encouragement and align you with resources your child and family will benefit from. To take the first step, just reach out and ask for help.

There is also a wonderful, compassionate community of families affected by autism that offers support online and in person. Talk with your child’s healthcare team and school or daycare about local support groups. Your health insurance provider may even have a list of resources.  

Start scheduling.

Now, you’re ready to check off those post-diagnosis to-do list items, and scheduling therapy appointments is an important one. Start with your provider’s treatment plan and list of recommended providers.

Educate yourself about autism.

Being a strong advocate for your child is a crucial part of making sure your child gets necessary services and therapeutic support. In order to be a strong advocate, you must learn about autism. Here are a few resources to start: American Academy of Pediatrics, CDC, National Institute of Mental Health, Autism Society and American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry. In addition, your healthcare provider can point you in the direction of some reliable information sources.

Make a list of adjustments to make at home.

As you learn more about autism, you’ll learn a lot about the way your child may see the world and what will help your child thrive. Incorporating visual elements, like a picture of what kind of clothes are in a certain drawer, can foster independence. Establishing foundational routines is another way to reduce frustration for everyone. Keep a running list of changes to implement as you are able.

For additional resources, check out some more “Notes from the Doc” blog articles.

Dr. Sallade is a certified school psychologist who is experienced in evaluating children for autism and other neurodevelopmental challenges. She is the Director of Clinical Operations of As You Are, a virtual clinic dramatically increasing access to early autism diagnostic services through the use of exclusively telehealth appointments.

It’s vacation time! Many families are eager to hit the road (or the plane, or the train) for some fun adventures. However, for families who have a child with autism, travel can require some additional preperation due to considerations such as:

• New environments
• New people
• Changes to established routines and schedules
• New foods and activities
• Lots of sensory stimulation

But don’t worry – with a bit of preparation, patience and flexibility, you and your little one(s) can have a fun-filled vacation.

Here are some tips to embrace the trip:

Prepare Your Child

Start by getting your child excited and prepared for the adventure ahead. Here are some suggestions: 

• Use a calendar to mark the day you depart, and have your child cross off each day as it passes. This gives your child a visual marker of when changes will happen.
• Create a social story with pictures and simple labels to help your child visualize what the travel will entail.
• Talk through the social story with your child as much as you can.

Show and Tell

• As the trip approaches, play a fun game of “travel” with your child. Maybe their favorite toys or dolls are going on a journey. Role-playing can be a great way to help them understand and anticipate the trip.
• Ask your child to do some show and tell by explaining to you (or to a favorite toy) what will happen during the trip.

Pack Early

Creating a packing list early can save you a lot of stress. Here are some essentials to conside, especially for your carry-on if you’re flying: 

• Plenty of snacks and small meals
• Gum or other chewy items to help with pressure changes in the ears (if you’re flying)
• Comfort items from home
• Your child’s prescription medicines, including extra doses in case of any delays or cancellations 
• Games, toys, or books to help keep your child busy
• Noise-canceling headphones or other sensory-friendly items that can soothe and calm your child
• Chargers for all electronic devices
• Strollers, baby carriers, car seats or booster seats
• Clothes, toiletries, shoes, sunscreen – whatever you’ll need for the trip itself

Embrace Flexibility

Despite all of your careful preperations, things may not go as you planned. And, that’s okay! Take a deep breath, stay flexible and remember – you’re doing the best you can in a challenging situation, and so is your child. 

Dig deep into your toolbox of strategies and know that you can do this. You can get through whatever comes up, whatever goes wrong. And, don’t be afraid to ask someone for help. Cut yourself (and your child) some slack, and try to go with the flow.

Research

There’s plenty of information online about traveling with a child with autism. Here are some resources to get you started:

• Before your trip, try searching “autism-friendly vacation destinations” or “sensory-friendly vacation destinations.”
• Take a look at support services and accommodations available through transportation organizations (like TSA Cares)
• Ask for help. There are professionals known as Certified Autism Travel Professionals (CATP) who have demonstrated that they are both knowledgeable and capable of providing support and travel-related services to an individual on the autism spectrum as well as their family.
• Check out some travel guides for additional resources, like this one from Autism Travel.

Travel is a wonderful opportunity to strengthen family bonds, learn new skills and create lasting memories. Wishing you happy and safe travels!

For additional resources, check out some more Notes from the Doc blog articles.

Dr. Hicks is the Chief Medical Officer for As You Are and Associate Professor of Academic General Pediatrics at Pennsylvania State College of Medicine. He has spent the last decade serving the community as a researcher and general pediatrician, performing well-child check-ups, sick visits and developmental evaluations. As a physician scientist, Dr. Hicks studies the influence of genetics and the environment on pediatric health.

Make a splash safely with our water safety tips for kids! Discover fun ways to introduce your child to water, find the best gear, understand pool rules, and explore swimming lessons. Keep your family safe and happy around water all year round!

Introduce your child to water early

If you haven’t already, introduce your child to water! Entering a pool or a lake for the first time can be daunting for children. They can’t touch the ground, water may splash their face and temperatures can be inconsistent. However, you can build confidence in the water at home with just a cup and a bathtub or shower.

1. Make sure the bath or shower is at a warm and comfortable temperature for your child.
2. Bring some toys that can get wet into the bath or shower to keep it fun and inviting.
3. Once they are accustomed to the water, explain that you will pour water on their head. Make it playful!
4. Cheer them on with positive affirmations, even if they get upset!
5. “Rinse and Repeat!” Young kids learn well from repetition.

Come equipped

Regardless of where you swim, here are a few tips that could make the experience more enjoyable: 

• Comfortable Swimwear: Select a bathing suit that’s comfortable and your child enjoys wearing. Change before you get to your destination to make the process easier
• Water Accessories: Pack goggles, water toys and appropriate Personal Flotation Devices (PFDs) like a life jacket or water wings. These can help a child feel more comfortable and have fun around the water, but none replace adult supervision. 
• Sunscreen: Use an SPF of 30 or higher to protect your child’s skin. If they dislike applying sunscreen, try a lotion or stick instead of a spray, or apply it with a makeup sponge or paintbrush! 
• Don’t forget to hydrate! Bring water or a beverage with electrolytes! Swimming uses a lot of energy, whether indoors or outdoors.   

Survey the scene

Before your child gets into the water, always check the area for anything unusual or potentially dangerous, such as:  

• Water Conditions: Check to see if the water is too cold or too warm or if there is an animal visiting. 
• Unique Features: Note any signs about changing tides or a rope indicating where the water gets deeper. 
• Lifeguards: Point out the lifeguards or another trusted caregiver so your child knows who to look for in case of help.

Know the rules

Each swimming area has its own rules, even if they are similar. Whether it is a public pool, a waterpark, a beach or your home swimming pool, knowing the rules can help keep your family safe. 

• Expectations: Talk to your child about what they can expect! Social stories are a great tool for this. Create a series of pictures with brief labels to help kids visualize what you are describing (ie: the rules and noises they might hear, like a lifeguard or PA system).

Swimming lessons rock!

Swimming lessons are fun and can save lives! It’s important for kids to learn how to swim. Check your local recreation department’s website, local gyms, YMCA, JCC or as your child’s pediatrician for recommendations.

Age: Dont’ worry if you think your child is too young! Many places offer parent and child swim lessons where an instructor leads while the parent is in the water with their child.

Have fun!

Safety is vital, but remember to have fun around the water. Engage with your child, play in the water with them, or use water toys to help them enjoy being around water. 

More information about water safety can be found on The American Red Cross’ Water Safety page. For additional resources, check out other “Note from the Doc” blogs.

“I’m not sure what the wait times were,” she said. “They all just said they’d call when there was an opening available.”

This all changed when she found As You Are, a virtual clinic that provides autism evaluations for kids through telehealth appointments. She came across the clinic while scrolling on Facebook and made an appointment right away. Ezra was diagnosed with autism after three video calls with a dedicated physician. 

“The entire process was around a month,” Renee said. “I had a really good experience, and it went quickly.”

The evaluation was covered by Ezra’s individual insurance plan when the As You Are team conducted a full benefits investigation before the first appointment. Renee was thankful for that support, and she also really appreciated the support she received from the doctor. 

She said, “We really liked the doctor. She answered all the questions I had, and she really listened to Ezra when he talked, even if he was being silly.”

And the care didn’t stop at a diagnosis for Renee and Ezra. They were able to get connected with a Care Sidekick who helped guide them along their journey. 

“I really appreciated the care coordination piece of it because they were able to get us the resources we needed,” she said. 

Do you have questions about your child’s development? The team at As You Are provides diagnostic evaluations for kids 16 months to 10 years old via telehealth appointments along with useful resources, including an online autism screening. Learn more at asyouare.com.

“I knew something was going on, but I didn’t want to self-diagnose,” she said.

As You Are is a virtual clinic that provides autism diagnostic evaluations to children ages 16 months to 10 years old through telehealth appointments. Marquita scheduled the initial appointment within a week, and Cassie was diagnosed with autism after three video calls with a dedicated physician. 

She said, “Hearing the results was a big weight off my shoulders… I was so relieved.”

Marquita was grateful to have had a doctor who showed both her and Cassie kindness and patience along the way. She was thankful that As You Are treated her like a real person through the screen. 

“The doctor was so kind, and I really appreciated that. Cassie had a couple of meltdowns during the appointment and wouldn’t sit still, but the doctor was so patient,” she said. “They don’t just treat you like a number.” 

Marquita went from waiting almost two years to receiving a diagnosis for her daughter within about a month. Since receiving guidance from As You Are, the family now has the answers they’d been searching for. 

“The entire process was so smooth, it was great,” she said.

Do you have questions about your child’s development? The team at As You Are provides diagnostic evaluations for kids 16 months to 10 years old via telehealth appointments along with useful resources, including an online autism screening. Learn more at asyouare.com.

Autism Mom and Contributing Writer for As You Are, a virtual clinic dramatically increasing access to early autism diagnostic services through the use of exclusively telehealth appointments

My son’s teachers know a very different version of him than I do.

And, in a lot of ways, I envy them for that.

Their expectations for him and others like him are much higher than mine.

And, because of that, he has done much more for them than he does for us at home.

He is nonverbal, but my husband and my other children know exactly what he wants, usually just by the way he grunts or the words he tries to say that make sense to absolutely no one else but us.

His speech therapist told us that’s our love language with him. As his immediate family, we know what he wants and needs by the subtle ways he communicates with us and nobody else.

So, in his mind, why should he use his Assisted Communication Device with us at home?

It’s a blessing and a curse at the same time to have this emotional language with him that no one else understands. It helps us feel closer to him and him to us, but it also limits our level of communication with him.

At school, he uses his device to answer “yes” and “no” to people he talks to. Just to have the ability to have him answer questions like that is something our family has yet to consistently experience with him.

But I would never know he was capable of it unless I heard it from his teachers and therapists.

They know things about him that I have never seen because they happen when he is surrounded by people who simply don’t know how his special needs affect him and therefore don’t treat him differently for it.

They expect him to stay with them, and not bolt.

They expect him to sit during circle time and meal times.

They expect him to participate in therapy.

So many accomplishments he has made in his school and therapy settings have truly blown me away, and given me glimmers of hope for progress.

I’ll never forget showing up a little early to pick him up from school and peeking in the window of his classroom. And there he sat, with his legs crossed listening to the teacher read a book at the front of the class.

I couldn’t help but tear up, thinking to myself how he looked like any other little boy sitting in that class without special needs.

It was something I had never seen him do – and might not have believed had I not seen it for myself.

He does anything but sit still at home – unless it’s meal time or bedtime book time. And even on those occasions, he’s been known to make a run for it.

He’s now sitting consistently in circle time with his class without having to be chased after as he bolts for the door.

He carries a tray to the lunch counter when he’s done eating – with several prompts of course, but he still does it.

He drinks from a cup without turning it over.

Again, all skills I never would have known had his teachers not told me.

Sometimes he shows us the skills he is picking up when we try to do something for him.

I’ll never forget seeing him pull his pull-up up before pulling up his shorts after he went to the bathroom. It was the first time I had ever seen him think to pull up his pull-up first and isolate it with his hands before pulling up his pants without me doing it for him.

I called his teacher to tell her the good news. She said he had been doing that for months.

Our family gets so used to doing everything for him because we subconsciously have such low expectations for him that it is really important to turn to others who know him.

His teachers and therapists work with kids just like him all the time, and that’s why they know much better than we do what to expect from him and how to accomplish it.

Louie is the only kiddo like him that we know – and thanks to his teachers and therapists – we sometimes get to know the other version of him, too.

Do you have questions about your child’s development? The team at As You Are provides useful autism screening and diagnostic evaluations for kids 16 months to 10 years old via telehealth appointments.

Disclaimer: I am not a medical professional. This is a sponsored blog post, but all opinions are my own.

“I was warned about the wait times, but I didn’t truly know how bad it was,” Kristal said.

That all changed when she discovered As You Are, a virtual clinic that provides autism diagnostic evaluations for kids through telehealth appointments. She was referred to As You Are by a local therapy center in Culpeper County, Virginia, where she had been taking Mattis for early intervention services.

“It was so much easier than I expected,” she said. “I was hesitant at first and wasn’t sure how well a diagnosis would translate through a computer. But the doctor was really good and reassured me, and it ended up working out so well.”

After three video calls with a dedicated As You Are physician, Mattis was diagnosed with autism. Kristal felt so relieved to have a doctor that was on the same page as her.

She said, “I’d been gearing up for it for at least eight months; I’d been speculating. But it took me that long to get someone to listen to me.”

The evaluation through As You Are was covered by her child’s individual insurance plan, and she was thrilled that the entire process went so smoothly. From filling out the paperwork to the official diagnosis, it all happened within a month’s time.

“I really was pleasantly surprised at how easy it was and how great the communication has been with their team,” Kristal said. “It’s been really nice because you don’t always get that.”

Do you have questions about your child’s development? The team at As You Are provides diagnostic evaluations for kids 16 months to 10 years old via telehealth appointments along with useful resources, including an online autism screening. Learn more at asyouare.com.

Dr. Sallade is a certified school psychologist who is experienced in evaluating children for autism and other neurodevelopmental challenges. She is the Director of Clinical Operations of As You Are, a virtual clinic dramatically increasing access to early autism diagnostic services through the use of exclusively telehealth appointments.

Spring is a time of new energy and renewal, including the start of warmer weather. It also brings with it some changes, from new routines (outside play!) to different clothes and foods. For children who have been diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder (ASD), spring’s changes can mean changes to a comfortable routine – and that can be really challenging. 

Fortunately, there is a lot you can do to help ease your kiddo into spring and minimize the distress that can come with changes. Here are our top tips for working with your child to transition into the warmer weather.

Tackle the clothes issue

Some youngsters relish the change to short sleeves and sandals, while others don’t want to give up winter coats and heavy layers. To make getting ready in the morning a smoother process:

• Offer choices, so your child can pick his or her favorites.
• Consider tagless and seamless clothing options.
• If you need to purchase new outfits (kids grow so fast!), consider bringing your child along to pick some things out.
• If your child has a clothing item that is a clear favorite, buy more than one (and buy the next size up too, just in case).

Practice, practice

Whatever changes your child needs to make to accommodate spring’s warmer temperatures, make sure to practice ahead of time. It could be something simple, like practicing how to put on spring clothes and shoes. It could be more complicated, like practicing routines around changes to the schedule, including new activities or introducing new foods. Whatever changes tend to be challenging, a little practice ahead of time can really help.

Assemble a social story

Just as you might do at the beginning of a new school year, spring is a great time to refresh your child’s social storyboard. Using a series of pictures with brief labels on a poster board, your child can review what to expect. You can include:

• Changes your child may find outdoors, like flowers or bugs
• Changes in temperature
• Changes in clothing
• Changes in schedule and who your child will see

Be mindful of transitioning inside from outdoors

Going back inside after outside play can be difficult for many children, so work to establish strong routines around going back inside. Including something inside that your child will look forward to, like playing with a particular toy, eating a healthy snack or watching a favorite video, can help make going back inside easier.

Celebrate spring with fun activities

There’s so much to look forward to in spring, and doing some creative activities and crafts can help your child get into the spirit. Crafts with spring themes like bright colors, butterflies, trees and flowers can be fun and are simple to adapt to different abilities and preferences. Spring is also a great time to reintroduce water play!

For additional resources, check out additional blogs.

“He would do things with his hands. Like hand gestures or movements when he was frustrated,” she said.

Theresa kept bringing up these signs to others but felt ignored and didn’t know where to turn next.

“I’ve been trying for a long time to get someone to listen. Everyone kept saying, he’ll talk when he’s ready. He’s now 4,” she said.

She stumbled upon an ad for a virtual clinic called As You Are, which provides autism diagnostic evaluations for kids. Her first question was if it accepted her child’s specific insurance plan, which it did. Theresa was able to get an appointment quickly, which was important to her because she could see how much her child needed help. After three telehealth appointments, her son was diagnosed with autism by a dedicated As You Are physician.

She said, “I have a 1-year-old who is already putting together sentences. I know my son was behind her, at 4, so I’m glad I was able to get somewhere in the process.”

While Theresa says she already knew the diagnosis would likely be autism, it was important for her to know what she should be doing for her son in the months and years ahead. As You Are not only provided answers, but helpful information on where to turn so she didn’t feel alone in the journey.

“I wanted confirmation for my son and guidance on where to go next… It was a really good experience,” she said.

Do you have questions about your child’s development? The team at As You Are provides diagnostic evaluations for kids 16 months to 10 years old via telehealth appointments along with useful resources, including an online autism screening. Learn more at asyouare.com.

Autism Mom and Contributing Writer for As You Are, a virtual clinic dramatically increasing access to early autism diagnostic services through the use of exclusively telehealth appointments

My neurotypical twin boys could not wait to go to an out-of-town soccer tournament.

My husband and I, on the other hand, were a bit more apprehensive.

Traveling with our son who has autism is a challenge.

Sleeping is exceptionally difficult for him whenever he is in a different place.

He even struggles with getting to sleep in his own room sometimes, but it’s easier to manage when we’re home. Everyone has their own rooms, so if Louie decides he’s not ready to go to sleep, he won’t disrupt my other children from sleeping and my husband and I can take turns trying to get him down.

But when we are all staying in the same hotel room, it is extremely difficult to manage.

Now that my son is 9, my husband and I decided to give going out of town without him a try.

I have to say that at one point, I nearly cancelled all of the logistics we planned among three babysitters because the anxiety over the thought of leaving him in someone else’s care for three days was much higher than the anxiety I experienced just thinking about all of us not getting sleep.

But, we stuck with the plan.

And now, we’re so glad we did.

Our neurotypical children got to spend three days with us devoting all of our attention to them, and not splitting our time between them and their brother.

They got to be around us when we weren’t carrying the stress of taking care of our son with autism as he is essentially the developmental equivalent of an 18-month-old who is nonverbal, still needs assistance getting dressed, using the bathroom, eating. He needs constant supervision.

Our son with autism, meanwhile, got to live it up with three babysitters who adored him, took him out to eat, took him to his favorite trampoline park and swimming – all things we are usually too busy to pull off in one weekend. They sent me pictures of him along the way. And, instead of feeling sad or guilty about not being with him, seeing his beaming face having so much fun made me feel fantastic.

It was like we all had a vacation.

Depending on your child’s developmental level, doing something like that might or might not be possible for you.

If it is, I highly recommend you do it – whether you have children or not.

All of us need to get our batteries recharged.

And all of our children need to experience one-on-one time with us without their siblings – regardless of whether they have a special need.

All of our partners need time with us without our children with special needs, too.

And we need one-on-one time with them, or just ourselves sometimes.

And that’s ok.

Do you have questions about your child’s development? The team at As You Are provides useful autism screening and diagnostic evaluations for kids 16 months to 10 years old via telehealth appointments.

Disclaimer: I am not a medical professional. This is a sponsored blog post, but all opinions are my own.

Autism Mom and Contributing Writer for As You Are, a virtual clinic dramatically increasing access to early autism diagnostic services through the use of exclusively telehealth appointments

Dear friends of autism families,

If you have been friends with a family that just learned their child has autism, the friends you knew before have changed.

And you’re going to have to commit to working harder at this friendship than you have before.

Emotions are going to flow, and sometimes, we will try to hide them from you, try to create distance, or seem like we’re pushing you away.

At times, we truly will need that space.

Other times, we will need you more than ever – but don’t want to feel like we are burdening you.

We might not ever talk about our child’s diagnosis with you, and that doesn’t mean we don’t want to. We don’t know if talking about it could make you uncomfortable, so we might not bring it up. Or, we might genuinely not want to talk about it and just enjoy our time together.

We might not want to try new things, go to new places or even explore familiar surroundings as they might not work for our child with autism.

Some of the most moving things our friends have done for us have been simply accepting and understanding those concepts as well as making us feel supported when we hang out.

Some families gravitate to other families who have children with autism, leaving other friends behind in favor of the understanding others in the same situation can offer.

In our circle of friends, none of them has a child with special needs.

But the closest friends we had when our son was born 9 years ago are no longer our closest friends.

One of the biggest reasons for the distance with one couple we were once closest to was the way they tried to minimize our son’s diagnosis.

I’ll never forget the moment I confided my fears for the future of my son who has autism with my friend – particularly how much it scares me to not know just how independent he may or may not become.

Her response was, “Every parent worries about what their child is going to be like in the future. Your other children might not turn out how you planned it either.”

I looked at her completely stunned by the ignorance in that statement.

And things were never the same after that.

In hindsight, I should have told her why that is one of the worst things she ever could have said to me in that vulnerable moment.

But I couldn’t. I was so hurt. And I didn’t have the energy to explain why.

As time went on, they still asked us to do all the things we used to do. Go camping, float down rivers on inner tubes, spend weekends at a small farmhouse they have near a lake – all activities that became absolutely terrifying to us as our son loves to wander and doesn’t adapt well to sleeping in new places.

They began to judge us for not trying to continue living our lives as we always had. In their minds, we were letting our son’s diagnosis stand in the way of that – like we should just muscle through spending a day floating down a river because if we don’t, we’re just using our son’s diagnosis as an excuse not to go.

There was no effort on their part to adapt to our son’s diagnosis, and there was no effort on our part to talk to them about it.

We still see those friends on occasion, but the callousness of the statement she made about the future still haunts me.

The friends we have now are content having us at their house or vice versa – and they understand our son who has autism might get into something at their house. He might break something. He might require most of our attention sometimes instead of giving it to them.

And they’re ok with all of that, and more.

They embrace our son, even when his sensory seeking behaviors might mean he bites them or pulls their glasses off to get a closer look.

And they embrace my husband and I, listening to us when we feel like talking instead of trying to find something to say.

Or not talking about our son’s diagnosis at all, and just spending time together.

The art of listening without judging is something our closest friends have mastered.

And I think that’s why we are so close.

The best part of being around them is how they make life feel so normal, when so much about our life feels abnormal.

Like it’s no big deal when our son helps himself to their pantry, makes an exceptional mess in their home, knocks over an expensive lamp or plays in a toilet when we forget to close the bathroom door.

Like it’s acceptable to completely ignore them if our son should need us while we are with them.

Like it’s ok to pick and choose to do things that we think work for our son with special needs – even though they may think we can or should do it.

Like it’s all just part of being our friends.

And it’s worth it.

Do you have questions about your child’s development? The team at As You Are provides useful autism screening and diagnostic evaluations for kids 16 months to 10 years old via telehealth appointments.

Disclaimer: I am not a medical professional. This is a sponsored blog post, but all opinions are my own.

Autism Mom and Contributing Writer for As You Are, a virtual clinic dramatically increasing access to early autism diagnostic services through the use of exclusively telehealth appointments

Sometimes the most healing moments along your journey as an autism parent are completely spontaneous.

I never would have guessed where one of mine recently happened.

3 Boys and 1 Fur Baby

I was at – of all places – the vet’s office with my dog for a checkup.

Louie wasn’t with me.

It was just me and my dog.

I never expected that Louie would come up.

But, there I was with my dog when suddenly a conversation that would help myself and the vet came up.

Not going to lie, I found the best dog in the world. Or maybe he found us.

My neurotypical kids begged and pleaded with my husband and I to get a dog. 

We resisted for 10 years, never believing we would find one we could trust to be around Louie.

Louie hits and bites us as sensory seeking behaviors, and it can test our patience, so, how could we ever trust a dog?

Some distant friends were looking to find a new home for a second dog who wasn’t very popular with their first dog.

As soon as I saw him, I knew he was a great dog. 

After some conversation, our friend offered to let us foster him for a few weeks and see how Louie and he did around each other. 

And they completely understood if it wasn’t going to be for us.

Turns out, it was perfect.

When You Least Expect It

As he sat on the floor of the vet’s office, the doctor remarked about how great of a disposition he had and how he couldn’t imagine how anyone would ever want to get rid of him.

That’s when it just came out.

All three of my children love this dog, but especially my son with autism. And he’s so good with our son too, I told the vet.

He looked at me and told me his grandson had just been diagnosed at the age of 2.

He told me he feared his grandson had autism when he was just a few months old, but everyone in his family shunned him for his theories.

I told him how I bet he feels helpless watching his daughter – his grandson’s mother – learn how to navigate this new world.

Tears formed in his eyes.

“Exactly,” he said.

I launched into the experiences and tips I had gathered along my nine years into this journey.

Told him about this blog.

Told him about how his daughter should look into state benefits and the name of the office to go to.

Told him about the little gym we go to that’s made for children with sensory issues.

Told him about our state’s early intervention program and how to enroll.

He turned my dog’s chart into a notepad as we talked, writing down information he wanted to be sure to tell his daughter following our discussion.

He asked if his daughter could call me. I gladly gave him my number.

By the end of our discussion, he asked if he could hug me and thanked me for sharing “so much knowledge” with him.

Just What the Doctor Ordered

For that fleeting moment, I felt proud of myself – almost surprised at how educated I sounded about this journey.

As I’ve said in earlier blogs, being the parent of a special needs child is many things – among them an internal battle you will have with yourself always wondering if you’re doing enough for your child.

I’ve always felt like the vet, writing information down on snippets of paper whenever I meet someone and end up having a spontaneous conversation about all that’s out there for children with autism and their families.

I walk away feeling pretty bad about myself for not knowing all of that information, and feeling like other parents have it so much more together than I do.

But that moment at the vet helped me realize just how much I do know and how far I’ve come.

No matter if you are just starting out in this journey or have been around it for years, you won’t realize how much you have learned, how resourceful you’ve become and how strong you look.

Sometimes all it takes is for someone else to show it to you. 

Do you have questions about your child’s development? The team at As You Are provides useful autism screening and diagnostic evaluations for kids 16 months to 10 years old via telehealth appointments.

Disclaimer: I am not a medical professional. This is a sponsored blog post, but all opinions are my own.

Autism Mom and Contributing Writer for As You Are, a virtual clinic dramatically increasing access to early autism diagnostic services through the use of exclusively telehealth appointments

You can’t see autism.

That’s been a challenging aspect of raising a child who has it.

Other special needs are immediately apparent.

There might be a wheelchair. Some people have physical characteristics like those with Down Syndrome. Others wear medical equipment, like feeding tubes, ventilators or oxygen tanks.

Children and people with autism look just like people or children who don’t.

So when they begin to show the signs of autism – having an adverse reaction because of a sensory issue – eyes might start to roll around you. People will think your child is acting out just because they’re not getting their way, having no clue that a sudden change in a schedule or routine can throw someone with autism into a fit that needs an extra moment of understanding to work out.

And that’s ok.

Let them.

I’ve learned that my energy needs to focus on addressing whatever it is my son needs in his challenging moments rather than what everyone else around me might be thinking or saying.

It’s been a hard lesson for my mother-in-law to learn. She’s from a generation where women were looked down upon if they didn’t have complete control of their children at all times because that was their job.

For me, watching how someone reacts should they realize my son has special needs after they’ve completely judged my abilities as a parent is oddly rewarding.

One of the best moments happened when I took my son to a soccer game for his older siblings. There were bleachers, and my son got spooked about being on an elevated surface. So, we couldn’t sit down immediately, and there was another soccer game finishing up.

I heard a woman yell, “Sit down!” from about five rows back.

I didn’t look up. Didn’t acknowledge I even heard her. I just focused on getting my son to settle down about being slightly off the ground.

She shouted it again, at least twice in rapid succession.

I kept my cool. My son needed me. And that woman getting a perfect view of her son on the field meant nothing to me.

Then, I started using some basic sign language with my son.

She didn’t shout again.

My son took his seat.

Do you have questions about your child’s development? The team at As You Are provides useful autism screening and diagnostic evaluations for kids 16 months to 10 years old via telehealth appointments.

Disclaimer: I am not a medical professional. This is a sponsored blog post, but all opinions are my own.

Autism Mom and Contributing Writer for As You Are, a virtual clinic dramatically increasing access to early autism diagnostic services through the use of exclusively telehealth appointments

When our son who has autism was born, we knew something was wrong right away.

His autism diagnosis would come years later, but a genetic disorder was obvious from the get-go.

He wasn’t breathing on his own very well. He wasn’t eating. He wasn’t thriving.

By the time he was 2 months old, tests showed he had a chromosomal abnormality.

Getting that diagnosis – just like getting our autism diagnosis – told us the life we were about to have with him wouldn’t be anything like the life we expected.

He was our third child – arriving three years behind twin boys.

I not only mourned the life I had envisioned for my husband and I with him, but also mourned the life my older children would have with him, too.

Even at just 3 years old, they, too, had already started picturing a life with a little brother to rough up, play ball with and teach how to play with toys.

As our lives continued, I began to see my older children develop a beautiful relationship with their little brother – one more special than most kids have with their younger siblings.

Learning from Each Other

My son who has autism has learned so much from his older brothers, and they from him, too.

Early on, my son’s occupational, physical and speech therapists would tell them how they were not only Louie’s brothers, but they were his therapists, too.

The time they spent pushing him in a stroller or on a swing, jumping together on a trampoline, hanging side-by-side on monkey bars with him seemed like playtime for the three of them, but it was, in fact, all forms of therapy to help make him stronger and more social.

Being around his neurotypical siblings is also a form of integration into society for our son with autism.

Their young minds have higher expectations for their brother with special needs than my husband and I do.

They do things with him that my husband and I would never even think to try. A lot of times, we expect him not to be able to do most things. So, we don’t even try them for fear of being let down.

My son’s neurotypical siblings don’t have the same fear. They include their brother in activities until he shows them he can’t do them or doesn’t want to.

More often than not, we’re surprised to see Louie find his bravery or skill for a task we never would have attempted.

It happens a lot in small moments.

Gaining the Courage to Take Chances

We once went to a park where there was a pretty big slide that involved crawling through a maze of stairs to get to the top. My twins kept begging me to let them bring their younger brother with them.

I looked at it. Saw all the neurotypical kids climbing their way up the stairs of all different dimensions and directions. And thought, “There’s no way. He’s going to cause a massive backup, and I’m going to have to climb in there and get him out.”

Then, I thought about how I would never see all of those kids or their parents again, and I told my twins to go for it.

Sure enough, he did slow everyone down – but not entirely.

Some kids seemed to get frustrated. Some parents rolled their eyes – not realizing our son has autism, because it isn’t a disorder that’s immediately apparent to most people.

But his brothers kept helping him along.

And in the end, he conquered those stairs, and the slide.

My twins admitted it was a challenge, but they were so happy to see how happy their little brother was when he went down that slide.

After the second time, they didn’t want to try it again.

That was fine with me.

Because I never would have tried it in the first place. 

Do you have questions about your child’s development? The team at As You Are provides useful autism screening and diagnostic evaluations for kids 16 months to 10 years old via telehealth appointments.

Disclaimer: I am not a medical professional. This is a sponsored blog post, but all opinions are my own.

Autism Mom and Contributing Writer for As You Are, a virtual clinic dramatically increasing access to early autism diagnostic services through the use of exclusively telehealth appointments

If you’re anything like me, the word autism up until this point in your life has been somewhat of a mystery to you.

I can tell you, it’s been three years since I heard the word applied to my own child, and, in a lot of ways, it’s still just as mysterious.

And that’s a challenge to accept.

But it’s also an opportunity to look at this news in a different way.

It may answer some of the questions you’ve had about why your child behaves a certain way. There’s now a diagnosis. A name for it. But there’s hardly a prognosis to go with it.

Initial Reaction 

When our son was first diagnosed, all I could think about were the very few facts I thought I knew about autism.

My mind raced with thoughts about how my son would likely never socialize with anyone.

How he would never communicate.

How he wouldn’t make eye contact with anyone.

How he would struggle with sensory issues.

How my husband and I would never be able to leave him in someone else’s care – especially not in the care of his older brothers like so many of our friends were able to do with their younger children staying with their older neurotypical siblings.

How he might not eat like most kids because of sensory issues.

How he might not ever use a toilet.

And you know what?

Absolutely none of those things have come true.

You Can’t Always Predict How Things Will Turn Out

Now, at 9 years old, our son is still nonverbal. He’s very slowly learning how to use an iPad with pictures to communicate. He’s also able to say a few words, or lead us to what he wants.

Even though he’s never said a word, he’s the most popular kid in his school. Everyone knows his name, and knows who he is. He doesn’t have friends to socialize with outside of his older siblings’ friends, but it doesn’t seem to bother him at all. He may not know how to make friends, but he also doesn’t know how to miss them. He’s fine with being around whomever we are with, and he’s content if his neurotypical siblings’ friends pay attention to him, or don’t. He doesn’t seek approval from anyone, and doesn’t care what anyone thinks of his abnormal grabs for attention, like when he hugs a complete stranger or helps himself to someone else’s snack if we’re not looking. 

His eye contact with us and others is so intense, that he actually holds our faces in his hands sometimes just so he can peer into them.

He does have sensory struggles, but in the sense that he doesn’t seem to have a sensory threshold. He loves loud music. He loves loud parades or concerts or events. Fireworks are a bit much, however.

Our older children are now 12, and we’ve left them with their little brother for a few hours at a time now to go out to dinner as a couple close to home. And they’ve done great. They actually enjoy taking care of him – fight over it, at times even. They love changing his pull-up, getting him into his pajamas or out of them to get him ready for the day in the mornings. It’s been one of the most pleasant surprises of our entire journey in all of this to see how his siblings have embraced him beyond our expectations.

Even though he spent a year with an NG tube due to refusing to eat starting when he was 6 months old, eating is now one of his favorite things to do. He doesn’t eat fruits or vegetables due to texture issues, but dried fruits and vegetables or those fruit pouches are a hit. He eats at the table with us – albeit with his hands because he still prefers the tactical sensory experience of his fingers.

He will go to the bathroom on a toilet if we take him, but he does still wear pull-ups. I’ll take it though, given I never thought he would use a toilet at all.

Life Can Surprise You

So all I can tell you is everything your mind is racing with right now may very well not come true.

You may not even be thinking of what your biggest challenges will become, or overthinking and worrying about what may become one of the easiest aspects of this diagnosis.

That’s because autism affects every person so differently, that it will be impossible for you to know what’s truly to come for you and your child.

So, for now, do your research on what is known about autism.

Just know that for a lot of parents who have received this diagnosis, it will always be a mystery, and only our child can show us how it will all turn out. 

Do you have questions about your child’s development? The team at As You Are provides useful autism screening and diagnostic evaluations for kids 16 months to 10 years old via telehealth appointments.

Disclaimer: I am not a medical professional. This is a sponsored blog post, but all opinions are my own.

She said, “We have all of these fantastic universities and medical centers and I was like, ‘Why can’t I get an appointment?’”

While Googling, she came across As You Are, a virtual clinic for autism diagnostic evaluations. Alyson then watched a news story about the company and couldn’t believe what she was seeing.

“My eyes went buggy. This is for real? I was like, ‘I’m looking at this. I’m trying this,’” she said.

Her husband, on the other hand, had a lot of questions about how the virtual process compared to an in-person evaluation. 

“My husband was like, ‘How are they going to be able to do this?’ I was like, ‘You know what, it’s worth a shot. It’s just like a Zoom, we’ve learned to adjust through this pandemic. Telehealth has become such a big player,’” she said, eager to convince him to give it a try.

They filled out the online paperwork and were able to schedule all three video calls with their dedicated As You Are physician in about 30 days. The calls included a clinical interview, an observation and a results discussion all via telehealth.

“When you see your child and you know they need assistance, you will search and search and search. This was such a jewel, a treasure, it’s sunshine,” she said. 

When Alyson heard the diagnosis, she says a weight was lifted off of her chest. 

“You feel like you’re up against the clock. Parents need to know there are options out there and not to give up.”

As for Alyson’s husband, who was skeptical at first, a feeling of relief swept over. 

 “I wanted to help my child by finding doctors and therapies, anything she needs to help her navigate life and function in everyday society,” she said. “That diagnosis is like a golden ticket. It opens up so much for your child for things that help aid them to get through the day.”

Do you have questions about your child’s development? The team at As You Are provides diagnostic evaluations for kids 16 months to 10 years old via telehealth appointments along with useful resources, including an online autism screening. Learn more at asyouare.com.

Rebekah said, “We had an appointment within two weeks, and I thought, ‘That can’t be right,’ but it was!”

The As You Are team conducted a review of their individual health benefits, and Rebekah was excited to hear that the evaluations were covered by insurance, based on their individual benefits plan. After just one month, both girls were diagnosed with autism.

“Honestly, it was a big relief,” she said. “It was so quick and easy compared to other areas. The doctor was personable and friendly with the kids. I would highly recommend it to anyone.”

The evaluation being virtual made the process extremely smooth for not only Rebekah, but the kids, too. All three appointments were done from the comfort of their own home. 

“You take them out of their element, and it just overwhelms them,” she said. “They were in their own house with their own toys in their own room.” 

After years waiting for answers, Rebekah was relieved to have found As You Are and receive autism diagnoses for the twins so quickly. 

She said, “It lifted a weight off of me, and I know that I did what was best for them. Now we know, and we can move forward.”

Do you have questions about your child’s development? The team at As You Are provides diagnostic evaluations for kids 16 months to 10 years old via telehealth appointments along with useful resources, including an online autism screening. Learn more at asyouare.com.

Autism Mom and Contributing Writer for As You Are, a virtual clinic dramatically increasing access to early autism diagnostic services through the use of exclusively telehealth appointments

My husband and I have reacted to various medical milestones in our son’s life differently along the way.

For me, the autism diagnosis brought with it a host of emotions, while for my husband, a diagnosis about his spinal cord early on resonated.

Here is a summary of how we’ve reacted and responded to learning more about our son’s challenges.

Mom 

For six years, I told anyone and everyone who ever asked me about my son’s special needs that he did not have autism – especially my husband.

I clung to the diagnosis of a chromosomal disorder that we received when he was about two months old.

I felt like that was all I could handle.

And I felt like maybe there could be a cure.

The little knowledge I had about autism was how much more research is needed and how little is known about the disorder.

And, there is no cure.

By the time our son turned 6, our pediatrician recommended we get an autism evaluation for him.

To appease her, I agreed.

I felt like this would be like most of the other evaluations we’ve had through his life that turn up no new answers for us.

I told her how his therapists told me they didn’t think he had autism because he made really good eye contact. 

He studied our faces instead of looking away from them. And looked so deep into our eyes it felt like he was looking at our souls sometimes.

He also loved being social – even if it meant he was not following normal social cues such as someone flinching when he would go to hug them or grab them to get their attention.

When our evaluator told us she found him to be moderately to severely autistic, leaning more toward severely due to his language delay, I was shocked.

But what about everything his therapists had told us?

What about the eye contact?

His outgoing social nature?

His desire to be over stimulated and seemingly lack a sensory threshold?

The autism specialist who diagnosed him helped us realize children with autism are all so different.

Some do like eye contact.

Some are social.

And some have a high sensory threshold.

She said she could tell within the first few minutes of observing him that he had autism.

I felt like I had missed it.

From there, though, our world opened up to a new set of resources and opportunities for our son.

His genetic disorder is so rare that it’s not documented anywhere in the medical literature.

Autism, for all of its mysteries, is.

The diagnosis gave us a new path to explore – one we are very much not having to walk alone.

The label I once feared has turned out to be the most helpful.

Dad

For the first four months of our son’s life, we believed he had a tethered spinal cord.

A little dimple at the base of the spine was a tell-tale sign of the anatomical anomaly that essentially means his spinal cord tethered itself to the base of his spinal column and would have to be eventually surgically repaired.

It could mean he might never walk or crawl and would mean intense physical therapy to get him there.

I felt like we had to deal with whatever was going to happen, and that the situation had already been decided.

We met with a neurosurgeon who discussed how he would likely do the surgery when our son was 12 months old.

He told us how intense the recovery would be.

He told us he would need a scan of our son’s spine to know just how bad the tether was before he could tell us more or schedule the surgery.

I left his office that day feeling like we just had to deal with whatever was going to happen. I felt like it was already done, and we had no choices in any of it.

At four months, we got that scan.

Turns out, he didn’t have a tethered spinal cord after all. He just had the dimple.

That was probably one of the few moments in this journey that gave me comfort.

It also showed me how doctors might not always know exactly how our son is going to turn out, and only our son can show us that.

It’s something I’ve carried with me as we continue to learn about how his autism is affecting him.

Only he can show us the answers, and we’re learning from him every day.

Reacting Differently 

When it comes to how differently we react, sometimes it’s good and sometimes it’s bad, but we just have to adapt. We’ve learned to appreciate the good moments even if they seem so small because the tiniest of victories are so much more meaningful when there are so many challenges. You are constantly going to be on a rollercoaster but that’s what makes the highs so much higher. Even though our reactions can be different, we remind each other that we are walking this journey together. 

Do you have questions about your child’s development? The team at As You Are provides useful autism screening and diagnostic evaluations for kids 16 months to 10 years old via telehealth appointments.

 Disclaimer: I am not a medical professional. This is a sponsored blog post, but all opinions are my own.

She said, “Isla was diagnosed with autism within a month. And the services she gets now that she’s diagnosed are unbelievable.”

During one of the three appointments, Bianca noticed Isla was having an off day, and the As You Are physician could tell Isla wasn’t up to participating in the appointment activities that day, which allow the physician to watch the child’s behavior for diagnostic purposes.

“The doctor was so patient and worked with us to move the appointment to a later date when Isla was feeling up to it,” Bianca said. “I can’t imagine if that happened at the doctor’s office and I had to drive an hour and a half back home… just to go back and try again another day.”

The fact that the evaluation was virtual was a huge plus since she wouldn’t have to drive so far to get there, and she loved that Isla was in her own surroundings. She was also grateful that her insurance picked up the cost of all three appointments.

“It was a weight lifted off my shoulders because it was one less thing I had to worry about, and I constantly worried,” she said. “Now, I can focus on getting Isaac tested.”

Her son, Isaac, is just 2-years-old and turning 3 soon. After having such a good overall experience having Isla diagnosed, Bianca is also having Isaac evaluated with As You Are. 

She said, “I’m 100% sure that if I didn’t find As You Are, I’d still be going through this.”

Do you have questions about your child’s development? The team at As You Are provides diagnostic evaluations for kids 16 months to 10 years old via telehealth appointments along with useful resources, including an online autism screening. Learn more at asyouare.com.

Autism Mom and Contributing Writer for As You Are, a virtual clinic dramatically increasing access to early autism diagnostic services through the use of exclusively telehealth appointments

“I can’t say I understand, but I can say I can relate.”

When I heard those words from a caseworker reviewing our son’s application for government aid, I had a hard time listening to the rest of what he had to say.

I stopped him as he was moving on quickly to explain the multiple layers of bureaucracy involved in the application process, and asked him to repeat what he just said.

“I can’t say I understand, but I can say I can relate,” he repeated.

“How, how can you relate?” I asked, getting annoyed that he could possibly relate to the mounting frustration we were having at the moment learning about how much longer we were going to have to wait for a response on our application.

“Because my son has autism,” he said.

The Right Words at the Right Time

I felt completely disarmed and relieved.

He told us his reason for going into the job he had was due to his own family’s journey navigating all of the government red tape that’s out there for families just trying to get aid for their special needs loved ones and children.

The line also resonated with me because it was one of the most genuine phrases I had ever heard from someone when so often people struggle to find the right things to say.

I, too, am one of those people.

I still struggle with what to say to fellow parents of children with autism, and even parents of neurotypical children.

Knowing What to Say Doesn’t Always Come Easily

The phrase is so genuine because every child with autism is unique.

It’s never the same from one child or person to the next.

Sure, there are similar characteristics and lots of generalities.

But how they manifest in each person are so different.

For example, many kiddos with autism struggle with sensory issues.

For my son, that means he has a compulsion to chew anything around his neck. 

So, shirt collars don’t last very long. 

We’ve adapted by having him wear necklaces made for teething toddlers. 

Now, chewable necklaces are easy to come by online.

For others, sensory issues can make loud noises or crowds impossible.

My son loves loud sounds. 

He loves to feel the vibration of a stereo or even the speakers on his iPad. 

If we could turn our stereo up to the max every day, he would love it. 

He jumps for joy and flaps his hands when we play his favorite songs as loud as safely possible in our house.

Other children with autism prefer calm and quiet settings, and might have a sensory outburst if it’s not.

Our son loves to go up to complete strangers and hug them, try to sample their food or touch them. 

He does not understand social cues of rejection when a person shies away from his unexpected gestures.

Other children with autism might prefer to isolate.

That’s why it’s still so hard for me to find the right words to say to another parent with a child with autism.

I don’t want to say I understand, because I might not.

My child might not present the same challenges or skills.

But I can relate. 

Do you have questions about your child’s development? The team at As You Are provides useful autism screening and diagnostic evaluations for kids 16 months to 10 years old via telehealth appointments.

 Disclaimer: I am not a medical professional. This is a sponsored blog post, but all opinions are my own.

“I didn’t want to get down about it. I knew something would work out, so I just didn’t get discouraged. My mom gave me a clinic to call, but I didn’t even have a chance because I found As You Are… everything went well, it was so fast and no waiting list,” she said. 

As You Are is a virtual clinic for autism diagnostic evaluations, which Daira found on social media. She filled out the online paperwork and said from there, everything happened quickly. She loved the fact that she didn’t have to leave her house for the video calls with their dedicated As You Are physician.

Daira said, “I liked it because it was so convenient. It beats going to the doctor’s office. Because he has autism, he doesn’t sit down. I would rather be in the comfort of our own home. He can run and do whatever. I loved that aspect. When it said it was virtual, I was like, ‘Oh yeah, I want to do this.’”

A care coordinator, called a Care Sidekick, also met with them over video calls and was able to connect them with resources in their area. Now with an official diagnosis, Dallas is able to get the therapy he needs and Daira is grateful to As You Are for speeding up that process. 

Do you have questions about your child’s development? The team at As You Are provides diagnostic evaluations for kids 16 months to 10 years old via telehealth appointments along with useful resources, including an online autism screening. Learn more at asyouare.com.

Autism Mom and Contributing Writer for As You Are, a virtual clinic dramatically increasing access to early autism diagnostic services through the use of exclusively telehealth appointments

I was 33 years old when I learned my youngest son was born with special needs.

His twin older brothers were 3. 

For 33 years, I knew very little about what it was like to parent a child with special needs, or what special needs like autism even really were. 

My twin sons, however, will have known about it for nearly their entire lives. 

As my husband and I continue to navigate this world, we have found our neurotypical children to be a wealth of knowledge. 

Little Kids Teach Us Big Things

One of the greatest lessons our neurotypical children have taught us is to always let our son with autism try new things – even if we are convinced it will be too overwhelming for him, or too high-level for him.

His brothers basically have their little brother try new things and learn if he can’t do them by trial and error – unlike the approach my husband and I take. 

We predict what may work or not work for our son, whereas his siblings go into situations with their brother assuming he can adapt, rather than avoiding them all together.

Putting Lessons into Practice

For example, my husband and I assumed our son with autism would never catch a ball. Too much coordination. 

He’ll get hurt if it hits his glasses.

His brothers just started gently passing him their basketballs, soccer balls, baseballs and any ball they could get ahold of until they found one that worked for him. 

They worked together, one of them guiding their younger brother’s arms to catch the ball while the other one tossed it.  

They took him fishing with them, baited the hook for him and held the pole with hand-over-hand instruction the entire time. 

And they’re okay when their brother lets them know it’s not for him by trying to elope from the moment or squawking as we like to call it because he can’t form the words to say he’s over it.

But at least they tried it.

They will take him down a water slide with them – even though my husband and I would never think he would enjoy it.

Simply put, I believe neurotypical siblings have typical expectations for their siblings with special needs.

As adults, we have so much less life experience with children with special needs, let alone our own.

Their siblings, however, are still in their formative years – unjaded by their own assumptions of what a special needs person can or can’t do.

His Brothers are His Advocates

Watching them teach their peers about their brother is also something to behold.

Countless times I have seen the faces of their friends look astonished when our neurotypical sons play with their brother who has autism – especially when they rough house with him.

It’s as if their friends thought our son with autism might break when his older brothers scoop him up for a tickle session or to wrestle with him – letting him win of course.

In those moments, they’re teaching others who don’t have siblings with autism how typical some things are at home.

They use his iPad to communicate with him, help their brother get dressed and help him eat as if they’ve done it all their lives because they have, and it comes naturally to them.

Our neurotypical children have also developed their own strategies for coping with their brother’s autism.

One of my boys has found repetitively telling his brother he’s not mad at him when he’s melting down seems to help put him at ease.

Our other neurotypical son has learned his brother with autism absolutely loves being thrown into a giant bean bag, so when he’s struggling because he can’t communicate, he will take his brother to the bean bag and divert him.

We have a lot to learn from our neurotypical children as we raise our children with autism.

Be sure to pay attention. 

Do you have questions about your child’s development? The team at As You Are provides useful autism screening and diagnostic evaluations for kids 16 months to 10 years old via telehealth appointments.

Disclaimer: I am not a medical professional. This is a sponsored blog post, but all opinions are my own.

“I was really, really struggling with all of it. It was so disheartening,” she said.

For 1.5 years, Maria kept picking up the phone to schedule an autism evaluation at different clinics in the Delaware County area, about 30 minutes outside of Philadelphia, but kept facing barriers. All this time, Maria couldn’t believe that she couldn’t even get his name on a waitlist. But she kept trying. On Instagram, she discovered a virtual clinic for autism diagnostic evaluations called As You Are. She was excited about the concept of telehealth for this purpose and scheduled an appointment.

“I feel virtual is better because they truly see what you see. If they are in a setting not comfortable, there is a possibility they won’t act in the manner they typically do. Especially if you can’t travel, it’s more convenient,” she said.

Three video calls later with her dedicated As You Are physician, she learned that her gut feeling was right: her 4-year-old son, Kayden, has autism. 

“The doctor was phenomenal. She gave me time to process the diagnosis. I mainly cried because I knew I was right,” she said.

After the diagnosis, she met with a care coordinator at As You Are, called a Care Sidekick, who took all of the homework off her hands by providing a list of services available in her community to go for therapy. 

“The Care Sidekick was very sweet and gave me an understanding of where to go next for services. She told me, ‘You don’t have to do anything, we’ll do it for you.’ As You Are gave me the support I really needed because no one else was listening,” she said.

Do you have questions about your child’s development? The team at As You Are provides diagnostic evaluations for kids 16 months to 10 years old via telehealth appointments along with useful resources, including an online autism screening. Learn more at asyouare.com.

“I was ready to drive anywhere to do it, so I got on all these waitlists trying. We’ve been on waitlists for years. It’s been so frustrating to find somewhere until I found As You Are. It was so easy to get everything done,” she said.

As You Are is a virtual clinic for autism diagnostic evaluations. When she discovered it on Facebook, she thought it was too good to be true. That’s when she read through the reviews and searched Google for everything that has been written about the diagnostic services. Finally, Tiffany’s heart was settled on telehealth as a way to get her children seen. Liam and Nolin each met with the As You Are physician over three video calls.

“The doctor could see how he acts normally and what he does without it being in a new scary place. Because he doesn’t do well in new places,” she said, referring to her youngest.

When hearing the diagnosis out loud for both of her boys, Tiffany felt comforted by the As You Are physician even through the screen. She says she also felt a sense of relief after finally getting the answers she had been desperately searching for.

“I felt excited that I could help them get help. I’m now one step closer with the diagnosis. It was a weight lifted off my shoulders. I’m so glad we found you. You all have been amazing and life changing,” she said.

Do you have questions about your child’s development? The team at As You Are provides diagnostic evaluations for kids 16 months to 10 years old via telehealth appointments along with useful resources, including an online autism screening. Learn more at asyouare.com.

Autism Mom and Contributing Writer for As You Are, a virtual clinic dramatically increasing access to early autism diagnostic services through the use of exclusively telehealth appointments

The life you envisioned for your child, and your child’s child has just changed.

But those lives are not over.

Instead, you are about to see your child rise to a challenge in ways you never thought possible, and equally, your grandchild with autism will do so, as well.

Should your grandchildren have siblings, you can count them into the risers, too. 

Now, the question is, how will you rise to this challenge?

It won’t be easy for you or anyone else I just mentioned.

Let Your Child Take the Lead

You need to give yourself and your child a chance to grieve and experience the feeling of loss that will come with learning that the life you always envisioned won’t be there.

But you also need to find how you fit into the life that lies ahead.

For me, my mother, step-father and mother-in-law are the only remaining grandparents for my son with autism.

Here’s how they have all found their paths along this journey.

What to Do And What Not to Do

My mother has helped me research, but she knows only to do so if I ask.

Bombarding me with every article, every ad, every mention of something to do with autism or how others are coping with it just wasn’t helpful for me when unsolicited. I didn’t want it to be the front and center of every conversation I ever have with her all the time. It’s on my mind enough, and sometimes – a lot of times actually – I don’t want to read or hear anything more about it.

But when I’m in a bind, wondering if there might be a good summer camp out there or new sensory experiences for my son with autism, I know exactly who to put on it.

My mother-in-law is the only grandparent who lives near us. 

She has stepped in as the only family member willing to babysit our son. 

That is one of the greatest gifts of all. 

It gives us time to be with each other for a date sometimes. 

Or go to a sporting event with our neurotypical children without worrying about whether the experience will work for our son with autism.  

My step-dad’s role has been more of a support system to my mother and a mentor to my neurotypical children. That doesn’t mean that he isn’t interested in my son with autism, but rather, he’s very committed to helping keep my neurotypical children occupied so we can focus on our son with autism without feeling as though our other children aren’t getting enough attention.

Finding Your Path Will Take Time

Finding how they fit into this new equation didn’t happen overnight for my son’s grandparents.

There were some growing pains.

I had to be honest with my mother about inundating me with research.

I had to tell my mother-in-law that I’m not going to stay home and miss athletic activities or other moments with my neurotypical children because my son with autism might have a meltdown. She is of a generation that is still embarrassed and judgmental of parents whose children appear to be out-of-control in public.

I am not. 

And she’s learned that for me, staying home and hiding my son with autism from the world, isn’t the life that will work for us.

I also had to tell my step-dad not to feel like he has to try to awkwardly interact with his grandson with autism to be a good grandfather to him. 

Helping us be more present for his grandson with autism is interacting with him. 

And, our son with autism will interact with him on his own terms, and it’s okay if he doesn’t.

The Road Ahead Won’t Be Easy but it Will Be Worth it

I’d also tell you to be prepared for your heart to ache as you watch your child learn to cope with being the parent of a special needs child.

There will be tears, struggles and challenges.

But the triumphs, the wins and the accomplishments your grandchild with autism will achieve will have a deeper meaning than you ever could have imagined.

And so will watching your own child live a life they weren’t expecting.

Do you have questions about your child’s development? The team at As You Are provides useful autism screening and diagnostic evaluations for kids 16 months to 10 years old via telehealth appointments.

Disclaimer: I am not a medical professional. This is a sponsored blog post, but all opinions are my own.

Autism Mom and Contributing Writer for As You Are, a virtual clinic dramatically increasing access to early autism diagnostic services through the use of exclusively telehealth appointments

Hard Questions

One of my favorite parts of the day is saying goodnight to my neurotypical children.

When all is quiet, and the glow of their night lights fill their room, I lay with them and have some precious one-on-one time with each of them.

They are twin 11-year-old boys, on the edge of turning 12 as I write this blog.

They often use the time to have private conversations with me. Sometimes it’s about school, their friends or the latest toy or game they want to get. 

Sometimes, it gets deep. 

Last night was one of those nights.

My son, who still snuggles with a blankie, randomly asked me, “Have you ever wondered how different our lives would be if Louie didn’t have autism?”

I said what came to my mind.

“Yes, I do wonder that.”

I invited my son to tell me more about how different he thought our lives would be if his little brother was like all of his friends’ little brothers.

“I’d have someone else to play soccer with and baseball and everything else,” he told me. “And we would be going to so many basketball games and soccer games and practices for him.”

“How do you know if he would want to do those things?” I asked him.

“Because we’re all athletic in this family,” he said.

“But there’s no way to know that he would be, too,” I told him.

I also reminded him that his little brother is athletic, just not in the usual ways.

He loves to go swimming, even though he’s not swimming to win a race.

And he loves to run and jump on trampolines longer than anyone, including his older brothers.

He smiled as he thought about his little brother’s atypical athletic prowess in those areas.

“He is the toughest kid I know,” he told me. “And he gets all the girls.”

The question of: What if my child didn’t have autism? is a natural one to have, especially when you’re surrounded by children who don’t. 

No Easy Answers

For me, it has been important to answer that question with a look at what our son has brought into our lives because he has autism – not just its challenges.

Because my son has autism, I have seen my other children and my husband rise to the occasion in ways I never could have imagined.

Because my son has autism, I have seen him experience true joy and happiness out of some of life’s simplest things, like the sparkling of Christmas lights, a car wash or his favorite song turned up loud in our living room so he can feel our speakers vibrate. 

And because my son has autism, our lives are different than we imagined them.  

It was late in the night, so I decided to pick up the conversation the next day so my other son could participate.

“Your brother asked me last night if I ever wondered what our lives would be like if your little brother didn’t have autism, do you wonder about it too?” I asked him.

“No,” he said, looking annoyed that I would even ask him such a question.

“Why not?” I asked. “It’s completely OK if you do.”

“No mom, I don’t think about it because what’s the point? It’s not going to change anything. He is who he is,” he told me.

“And we love him for it,” I said.

“Exactly,” he said. “I mean, he could hate us.”

United in Love

In his limited 11-year-old vocabulary, it was a profound statement, because the unconditional love our son with autism shows all of us is incredible.

My twin boys are struggling with their relationship as brothers, and the love they have for each other, arguing and fighting frequently.

They often feel like the other hates them, and they sometimes say they hate each other. 

But when it comes to Louie, they are united in love for him and he for them. All of their differences are immediately dwarfed and put to the side when it comes to them working together to care for Louie. 

Louie’s only bursts of frustration toward his older brothers come when they tickle him too much. 

And they understand any aggression he shows them is because he is seeking their attention, not rejection. 

He absolutely idolizes his older brothers, and they love him more than words.

It’s not like that for their friends who have little brothers without autism. 

Their relationships are more like the relationship the twins have with each other – arguing, wrestling and complaining to their parents when they feel or get hurt by each other.

What my older boys have come to realize from this very open and honest discussion is how fortunate they are to experience true love from their little brother, whose feelings they never hurt, and who has never hurt theirs.

What they have instead is a special relationship with their little brother.

It’s one that no one else they know can say they have – even if they sometimes wonder what if it wasn’t. 

Do you have questions about your child’s development? The team at As You Are provides useful autism screening and diagnostic evaluations for kids 16 months to 10 years old via telehealth appointments.

Disclaimer: I am not a medical professional. This is a sponsored blog post, but all opinions are my own.

“This being virtual is exactly what we were looking for anyway, because I don’t know how I would have gotten him to a place in-person. That is too hard,” she said.

The virtual process was the perfect fit for this family since the three video calls with a physician happened right in the comfort of their own home. Her son was diagnosed with autism and immediately enrolled in therapy, which he previously wasn’t able to receive without an official diagnosis. He’s been attending ABA therapy for one month, and Brooke says it’s already changed his life. 

She said, “For the first time, he is loving life, he is so happy. He is able to be himself which is something we never had before. He used to have meltdowns after preschool, he’d hit his head on the wall and couldn’t handle it. Now he tells me about his day and is happy.”

Brooke says she’s finally found a community of local autism moms she can relate to, and her son has a whole new group of friends, as well. 

“We didn’t belong anywhere until we had a diagnosis. We’re very thankful for you guys, for speeding up that process. We thought this would never happen for him,” she said.

Do you have questions about your child’s development? The team at As You Are provides diagnostic evaluations for kids 16 months to 10 years old via telehealth appointments along with useful resources, including an online autism screening. Learn more at asyouare.com.

Janeka Johnson is crying happy tears as she explains the weight lifted off her shoulders. The sense of relief comes after waiting two years for answers. Her 4-year-old son Francisco recently received an autism diagnosis from a physician at As You Are, a virtual clinic with exclusively telehealth appointments for diagnostic evaluations. Physicians meet with families through a video call to interview parents, observe the child, provide a diagnosis, and get children started receiving intervention services early, to help children thrive. 

“Since he was 2, we have been hammering away to try to get a diagnosis. Trying to get in, get him seen. Month after month, year after year, trying to get this evaluation done,” she said, frustrated with the long wait times in New Jersey for an in-person evaluation. 

Janeka found As You Are through Facebook and scheduled an evaluation after scanning the website top to bottom. She learned that the process would involve three video calls with a dedicated As You Are physician, all from her home. And what’s more, she could get an appointment quickly.

“The first appointment was just phenomenal. I got so emotional. Oh my God, we were just elated, we were so excited to get to the next appointment,” she said.

She says Francisco was able to be himself during the video calls. He was in his own environment and therefore expressed himself the way he normally would when he is comfortable, and on the third appointment, her son was diagnosed with autism.

“Having this diagnosis puts us right where we need to be. We can get him the behavioral specialists that he needs, we can do the things he needs to get him ahead. This is a leg up,” she said.

Do you have questions about your child’s development? The team at As You Are provides diagnostic evaluations for kids 16 months to 10 years old via telehealth appointments along with useful resources, including an online autism screening. Learn more at asyouare.com.

She said, “I saw it was going to be virtual, and I loved that because he acts differently in public than he does at home. I thought, if they can see him in his natural environment, that would be best. And everything fell into place. I had no issues at all.”

On the third appointment with their dedicated As You Are physician, 2-year-old Kason was officially diagnosed with autism. While the mom knew in her gut what the diagnosis was going to be, hearing those words was a moment she’ll never forget.

“I’ve been saying for a year that I felt like he had autism. But when I heard the diagnosis, I cried. Then I looked at my son and told him, ‘We have a journey ahead of us, but we’re going to conquer it,’” she said.

A member of the care coordination team at As You Are has been helping with some of the first steps of their journey. Referred to as a Care Sidekick, they’ve been working to find resources in JaMeseia’s area so her son can begin therapy.

Do you have questions about your child’s development? The team at As You Are provides diagnostic evaluations for kids 16 months to 10 years old via telehealth appointments along with useful resources, including an online autism screening. Learn more at asyouare.com.

“I checked to make sure they would accept our insurance, and they did. So, I signed up, and within a day, someone from the team reached out to set up an appointment,” Erica said. “They were able to get us an appointment within two weeks, and I almost cried.”

Not only was she thrilled that the cost of the diagnostic evaluation would be covered based on her child’s health insurance plan, Erica appreciated that the evaluation process was so efficient with three appointments in less than 30 days. She had run into roadblocks in the past finding available resources, but As You Are made the experience seamless. 

She said, “When I met with the doctor, it was like a breath of fresh air. I didn’t have to explain anything or go into too much detail – it was like she automatically knew what we needed and got the ball rolling.”

And the care didn’t stop with the diagnosis. Erica and Ashlynn were assigned to a Care Sidekick who continued to help every step of the way by connecting them with resources in their area.

“The Care Sidekick has been amazing. Anything I’ve asked her for, she had it to me by the end of the day,” she said.

Thanks to the telehealth component, she was happy to have had the evaluation done in the comfort of their own home. 

“The pandemic has definitely shown us that you don’t need to be in person to do everything,” Erica said. “I appreciated that I didn’t have to take my daughter out of her environment for the evaluation.”

After an overall great experience and receiving a diagnosis, Erica is grateful to have found this virtual clinic so Ashlynn can resume having access to the services she needs. 

Erica said, “I wish more people knew about As You Are.”

Do you have questions about your child’s development? The team at As You Are provides diagnostic evaluations for kids 16 months to 10 years old via telehealth appointments along with useful resources, including an online autism screening. Learn more at asyouare.com.

“It was so frustrating,” she said. “I was searching for everything I could find online and then we found As You Are through a random Google search. I had to look up testimonials to see because we were cautious at first.”

Annalisa scheduled her son Elijah’s evaluation after reading other family’s experiences with As You Are, which dramatically increases access to early autism diagnostic services through the use of exclusively telehealth appointments. 

“We couldn’t believe we could get an appointment that quick. We took the chance and after the first and second phone call with the support team, we were comfortable enough to go through everything and so happy we did.”

After three video calls, her 3-year-old was diagnosed with autism by a dedicated As You Are physician. The following month, her son was already enrolled in therapies. Annalisa is now sharing her own testimonial to help other families learn about the virtual clinic.

“Unbelievable, it was amazing. I can’t thank the company more,” she said. 

Annalisa says her son’s general pediatrician was also happy to see that Elijah didn’t have to wait as long as two years to begin therapy.

“She had never heard of you guys before but she was very impressed with it,” she said.

Do you have questions about your child’s development? The team at As You Are provides diagnostic evaluations for kids 16 months to 10 years old via telehealth appointments along with useful resources, including an online autism screening. Learn more at asyouare.com.

“Everywhere was going to have to wait 3 years to get Maverick evaluated for autism. I was researching everything, I was in tears” she said.

Alicia was already one year into a three year waitlist when she saw a Facebook ad for As You Are, a virtual clinic that dramatically increases access to early autism diagnostic services through the use of exclusively telehealth appointments. When she spoke with the support team, Alicia learned that her son’s individual insurance plan was accepted and that she could get an appointment quickly. 

She said, “It blew my mind. You guys are a complete blessing, especially to me as I live in Kentucky. Everywhere I looked was going to be years.”

Maverick received an autism diagnosis after meeting with a dedicated As You Are physician over three brief 30 minute video calls. Afterwards, a Care Sidekick acted as a guide to help find therapy for Maverick in his area.

“It’s all done virtually from the comfort of your home. They are extremely understanding and patient. They give you resources to help. They are all just extremely caring and understanding,” she said.

Do you have questions about your child’s development? The team at As You Are provides diagnostic evaluations for kids 16 months to 10 years old via telehealth appointments along with useful resources, including an online autism screening. Learn more at asyouare.com.

Autism Mom and Contributing Writer for As You Are, a virtual clinic dramatically increasing access to early autism diagnostic services through the use of exclusively telehealth appointments

It’s a Boy!

From the moment my husband and I found out we were pregnant with our third child, our minds started envisioning what that child’s life would be like.

Unlike our first pregnancy, which was a set of twins, we decided to find out this child’s gender.

We found out it was going to be a boy, making us the parents of three boys.

My husband leapt off the couch and shouted, “Yes!” when we opened the ultrasound photo to look at the gender the doctor had written on it for us.

Thoughts of the three of our boys rough housing together, playing sports together and making a competition out of everything filled our minds.

Subconscious Plans 

I think any parent can attest to how their subconscious plans out the lives of their children.

And even a neurotypical child’s life doesn’t always turn out the way you envisioned it.

We just got an abrupt look at it as soon as our third son arrived.

His challenges were immediately apparent.

He wasn’t breathing on his own and had to be rushed to the NICU, where he spent a week. X-rays showed he had signs of a genetic disorder no one had ever seen before, so doctors couldn’t tell us what to expect.

At that moment, we knew we had to change the vision we had for his life.

It’s taken years for me to realize that changing that vision didn’t mean he wouldn’t rough house with his brothers, play sports with them or compete with them.

It just meant that it was going to look a lot different that what we had envisioned.

Brotherly Love

Our son loves to rough house with his older brothers.

They just have to let him win – fake wrestling with him rather than actually doing it, and understand that if he pinches, bites or hits them, it’s a sensory-seeking behavior and not aggression to be returned.

Playing sports looks different, too.

He doesn’t run alongside his older brothers chasing a soccer ball or play catch with them.

Instead, swimming is one of his favorite activities. He loves jumping into his brothers’ arms from the side of the pool, or holding onto their backs as they guide him through the water.

He also loves to jump with his brothers on trampolines, flapping his hands in sheer joy every time they bounce him higher than he could ever jump on his own.

And he loves when they push him on a swing.

The natural competitiveness brothers have is also there among them.

It just looks different than we ever imagined.

Our son loves to hang as long as he can from monkey bars. So, his brothers try to hang longer than him.

Our son’s appetite seems insatiable, so his brothers try to out eat him every chance they get.

There are a lot of elements that never will match the life we originally thought he would have with his brothers.

Adjusting my Vision

They don’t go to the same school – one of the things his older brothers often say they wish was the case.

And, when my older children’s friends come over for playdates with their younger siblings, our son prefers to be alone on his iPad.

It’s taken years for me to learn much of the life we originally envisioned for our son is still there despite his autism diagnosis and genetic disorder.

And it has merely required me to adjust my vision. 

Do you have questions about your child’s development? The team at As You Are provides useful autism screening and diagnostic evaluations for kids 16 months to 10 years old via telehealth appointments.

Disclaimer: I am not a medical professional. This is a sponsored blog post, but all opinions are my own.

Autism Mom and Contributing Writer for As You Are, a virtual clinic dramatically increasing access to early autism diagnostic services through the use of exclusively telehealth appointments

One of the first things that went through my mind when my son was first diagnosed was, what does the future hold?

I didn’t know much about autism, let alone what it was like for teenagers or even adults.

I found myself seeking out blogs, social media and other examples of thoughts and experiences of parents with older children or adults with autism.

Nothing has quite compared to the friendship I have struck up with Angie.

I contacted her regarding a story I was writing for a local publication about young mothers who became widows, and what helped them cope and carry on.

Angela was pregnant with her third child when her husband was killed in a car accident.

When we first talked, her son with autism was 17.

Mine was 6.

Our conversation completely shifted away from talking about raising children as a widow to raising a child into adulthood with autism. I tried to soak up every morsel of knowledge from her about the road she has traveled, the resources she has found for her son, and those I should just stop looking for because they don’t exist.

We also talked very candidly about the challenges this diagnosis brings to our entire families, and she invited me to be part of a Facebook messenger group chat with other women mothering children with autism.

Angela is the OG of the group, often chiming in to the discussions that randomly begin whenever someone feels the need to reach out and vent or throw out an idea about a new resource or is in search of one. After all, she’s been at this now for 20 years.

She graciously shared some of the lessons she’s learned along the way with me, and I’ve summarized them here for you:

Your child’s potential will amaze you.

Angie remembers the day her son was diagnosed. He was 2 ½ years old and had not been meeting his milestones. Over time, however, he did. It just wasn’t according to anybody’s schedule. One of the biggest hurdles was communication. Her son wasn’t speaking or showing any signs of progress in doing so for years. With time, though, he began to speak and found a way to communicate. It just didn’t happen on a typical timeline. Underestimating the potential of your child is something parents of typically developing children also face. Angie’s daughter, for example, struggled with anxiety for years. Her daughter lost friendships because of the paralysis she felt in socializing with others. Now, she’s off to college and living on her own. She still calls Angie multiple times a day, sometimes for nothing more than reassurance about the small things like what to wear for an outing. Her son calls her often, too. Sometimes to ask how long to put something in a microwave he’s cooked for himself before. She doesn’t mind. The fact that she’s able to communicate with both her son and daughter is a dream Angie never thought she’d realize sitting in that doctor’s office all those years ago.

It’s not the end of everything, just the beginning of a different life than we envisioned.

Angie’s husband struggled with accepting their son’s diagnosis, until a coworker shared he, too, was raising a son with autism. Soon, Angie’s husband connected with other parents who had children with autism and grew proud when he realized there was a life still ahead for his son even if it wasn’t the one he had always envisioned. Instead of becoming the next big football star, his son did well in aquatic therapy, horsemanship and other events for special needs children. Instead of mastering math or science, he celebrated his son’s victories in speech and ABA therapy. In other words, her husband learned those achievements and accomplishments are something to be proud of.

Don’t overdo it.

Angie said there wasn’t a therapy or special needs activity she didn’t get her son involved in. If there was a special needs horseback riding therapy program, he was in the saddle as often as possible. A Special Olympics event, he was in as many categories as possible. An aquatic therapy class? Well, you get the point. Looking back, Angie said her son and other children enjoyed all of the activities, but she wishes she would have lightened the load a little to prioritize the needs of her typical children’s calendars as well. She said therapy sessions and special events only helped her son so much, and spending time with his siblings, seeing them achieve their goals does, too. It also helps balance the dynamic of the entire family. Everyone deserves to feel like they’ve achieved, which contributes to the happiness at the center of the circle of people who are playing roles in raising a child with autism – including siblings. For my son, we are able to take him to basketball games and soccer games for his older brothers. He typically watches his iPad more than the games, but his brothers love to see him there and celebrate with him even though he doesn’t understand what’s going on. For some families, bringing a child with autism to a sporting event or other outing for a sibling is too much of a challenge. Angie says it’s important to make sure, though, that even if the child with autism can’t be there, the others in the family need to accomplish their goals, too.

Take advantage of respite care.

It’s very hard to leave your child with someone else, let alone a child with special needs. But Angie said it’s vital for families who have children with autism. Taking advantage of respite care, which is often paid for in many states, helps a married couple come back refreshed and ready to continue to care for a child with autism. It can help siblings connect with their parents one-on-one. That’s no different than a family raising typical children, who plan mommy/daughter dinner dates or father/son fishing trips, etc. At first, Angie said she felt like she was abandoning her son with autism, but grew to learn that it means you are doing what you need to do for your soul to keep caring for them. Respite care helps you continue to be the best version of yourself for the rest of the family, too. Angie said even now that her son is 20 years old, she knows her house will be a mess when she comes home after a night she took for herself. Her son struggles with putting anything away when he’s done with it. But she says cleaning the mess is worth it for his sake and hers.

You are the expert on your child, so share your knowledge with others.

Angie said she could see her son was making progress when ABA therapy helped create consistency in how she, her husband and her other children communicated with him. So, she got her family members together and taught them some of the basics, as well. Whenever I get the opportunity, mostly when other children seem unsure how to act around our son, I take the time to educate them about how to interact with him just as much as I teach our son how to interact with them. It’s a very simple conversation. I just tell them, “He doesn’t know how to talk yet, so he might grab you to get your attention.” And I tell my son to use his words and say “hi” when he meets someone new. That way everyone is learning something new.

Trust your gut.

You know what’s best for your child, but sometimes it’s easy to doubt yourself when they have a special need you don’t know much about and you’re dealing with experts who know more about therapy and autism based on years of education and clinical experience. But Angie says to remember this: no one spends as much time with your child as you do. No one knows their triggers and what makes them succeed as much as you. Trust in yourself. Angie said her family was concerned when she proposed enlisting her son in summer camps for children with special needs. She felt strongly about trying it, and she learned quickly it helped her son find his people and experience friendship. It gave her the confidence she needed to make decisions for him. It was the same with various therapies her son would try. She learned therapists and therapy is beneficial, but she says to not  feel like you have to do it all, all the time. Bottom line with any kid, all they need is you and your time.

Do you have questions about your child’s development? The team at As You Are provides useful autism screening and diagnostic evaluations for kids 16 months to 10 years old via telehealth appointments.

 Disclaimer: I am not a medical professional. This is a sponsored blog post, but all opinions are my own.

Autism Mom and Contributing Writer for As You Are, a virtual clinic dramatically increasing access to early autism diagnostic services through the use of exclusively telehealth appointments

I’ve Been in Your Shoes

My first clue that she had a special needs child was when she told me she would only meet with me when her son was at school.

Then, as soon as I walked in her living room, I knew her son was like mine.

She didn’t have any furniture in her dining room. Barely any furniture other than a couch and TV in her living room. Her kitchen table and chairs had lots of knicks in them – one more than the others.

She apologized for the lack of furniture and lied about how she had just moved in.

“That’s where your son must sit,” I said as I looked at her table.

“Yep,” she shyly replied.

“My son’s spot at our table looks just like that,” I said.

She stared at me for a moment, and I could read her thoughts, “That’s nice of you to try to empathize with me, but you have no idea what this is like.”

“My son is nonverbal autistic,” I said. “And he’s 8.

He loves banging anything and everything he can on our table just to hear the noise.”

She looked at me in astonishment.

“So is mine, but he’s six,” she said.

Being Vulnerable is Therapeutic

From there, the conversation we were there to originally have went by the wayside, and we talked for a good 20 minutes comparing notes on the unusual habits our unusual children have and how we have learned to cope with them.

When we’re not having company, about a five-foot section of the wall in my dining room has a row of empty Command strips. It’s where pictures usually hang, but for some reason, Louie loves to rip them off. He keeps the picture of us at Disney World four years ago close to him.

All of the chairs and benches around our dining room table are piled on top of it so he doesn’t climb it and try to swing from our light fixture. We’ve already lost one of them to what we call his Curious George tendencies.

Some of our furniture we keep in the basement and only bring it out when we have people over. Louie also loves to slam our marble top coffee tables on our hardwood floors just to hear the sound, so those stay out-of-sight for the most part.

And forget about the brass candle holders I tried to put on our buffet. Those make a delightful ringing sound when they hit the marble table top they sit on.

She looked so relieved to hear me share our experiences and confessed most of her furniture is in storage because her son just uses it to climb and jump off. And for me, it was yet another example of how I’m not alone.

Paying it Forward Every Chance I Get

As we continued to compare notes, it became apparent to me that even though her son was 6, she was relatively new to learning how to raise a child with autism. I decided it was a good moment to share what I’ve learned since my son received a diagnosis. After all, part of the reason I know so much is because others have shared their ups and downs with me. I’ve learned from other moms who were once in my shoes. Now it’s my turn to help those who have a newly diagnosed child.

Here are a few of the basics we talked about that day:

• Early intervention is key. Every state has an early intervention program in which children with special needs can access services for free. But the waiting lists can be long, so calling your state’s providers as soon as a diagnosis is made is key. The CDC has a great website listing the contact information for every program. In Missouri, where we live, a program called First Steps gave us a physical, occupational and speech therapist that came to our home for private one-hour sessions until our son was 3 years old and could start school.

• Find your people. The day I met the mom I’m talking about in this blog, I felt badly about leaving her. Her eyes came alive and her body language changed so much from a feeling of anxiousness about the appearance of her apartment to holding her head higher once she felt she could be truthful with me and I truly understood. I felt the same way after finding a Facebook group of fellow moms who exist solely in a Messenger chat. We’ve never met each other, but several women in the group have invited others in along the way. I told the woman I met how important it is for her to find other moms, and she told me she didn’t have time to. I told her neither did I, and that I don’t have a single friend with a special needs child that I see regularly or talk to on a regular basis. Even though there are wonderful support groups out there, I don’t feel like I have the time to be part of them. I admire those who do. I have that Messenger group chat, and what a game changer that has been for my mental health. There are also plenty of Facebook groups out there that you never have to join or post to be a part of. Sometimes just reading the experiences of others is all that it takes. Make time to find your people, whether just to eavesdrop on their social media posts or with more direct contact like a group meeting.

• Change the environment, not the child. The mom I met that day already had a pretty good handle on this one. By removing most of her furniture, she was making it safer for her son instead of trying to suppress his sensory seeking behavior and growing frustrated that he would not respond to punishment or correction in any meaningful way. Your house may not look like you envisioned it to be, but it is a lot easier to change the environment to better suit the sensory needs of a child with special needs than it is to expect them to treat a home like a typical child might. At the same time, allow your child to practice their sensory-seeking behaviors if they’re safe because it is their way of coping with whatever is going on around them. Instead of the candle holders that make a ringing sound when our son throws them on our marble buffet, I looked for toys that make sounds if he pushes a button and doesn’t throw them. Even though the mom I met that day removed most of her furniture, and that left her son without an outlet for his need to jump and climb, it kept him safe. She said there is not a trampoline park or fenced in park they haven’t gone to in town.

• Do what works. This might be a controversial motto, but nonetheless, it is one I think is important. Everyone has differing opinions on how to handle all of the different situations that will come up in this life with a child with special needs. It’s really true of any situation in general. I say, do what works for you and your family regardless of what the experts or other families recommend. One of our biggest challenges at the moment is teaching our son to use utensils. He prefers to eat with his hands and experience his food that way. It’s messy. The floor around his chair is never clean, and the laundry is never ending. And he can use a utensil, he just prefers not to. So, even though his therapists tell us to be vigilant and to not give him an option to eat without utensils, sometimes it just works because the rest of our family is starving and no one can be one-on-one with him. Or we’re on the go in the car, and it’s easier to hand him his food rather than wait until we get home. Do what works, and feel good about it.  

Do you have questions about your child’s development? The team at As You Are provides useful autism screening and diagnostic evaluations for kids 16 months to 10 years old via telehealth appointments.

Disclaimer: I am not a medical professional. This is a sponsored blog post, but all opinions are my own.

“Easy to work with and overall knowledgeable. Friendly staff. Flexible scheduling,” she said. “It was so convenient that it happened to be virtual.”

After months of unanswered questions, Shelbie finally received an answer. The As You Are physician determined that her 3-year-old son, Brandon, did not have autism. 

“I’m so glad I found you guys. He didn’t have autism, but it did shed light on different things going on with him… I figured something out instead of going through all of that for nothing,” she said.

The care journey didn’t stop there. Shelbie was connected with a dedicated As You Are Care Sidekick who gave her a list of resources and specialists in her area based on the doctors recommendations and referrals. 

“I was excited to find a team of providers who actually care,” she said. “I’m really glad to be able to get plugged in. There were a couple of play therapy and occupational therapy options that I didn’t know existed in town. Now I have resources that I wouldn’t have known about without a Care Sidekick.”

Do you have questions about your child’s development? The team at As You Are provides diagnostic evaluations for kids 16 months to 10 years old via telehealth appointments along with useful resources, including an online autism screening. Learn more at asyouare.com.

Autism Mom and Contributing Writer for As You Are, a virtual clinic dramatically increasing access to early autism diagnostic services through the use of exclusively telehealth appointments

Making Time 

One of the first things my neurotypical children ask me when they get up in the morning is, “What are we going to do today?”

Ah yes, I should have the whole day mapped out by 6:30 a.m. when you get out of bed and are ready to conquer the world.

Several days a month we tell them, “It’s a Louie Day.”

Louie Days are times when everyone in the family understands we are going to do something Louie enjoys, given that there are so few things he can do that we all enjoy.

Sometimes it truly lasts all day.

And other times, it just lasts for a few hours, depending on the activity we pick.

We often feel like we are dragging Louie along through our lives, from soccer games to basketball games to baseball games that he doesn’t understand or participate in. The most he can do in those situations is sit with his iPad, and devour whatever snacks I can give him to keep him occupied just so I can watch my other children play.

So, on Louie Days, it’s understood that we are going to put whatever it is that we want to do aside for his sake.

Surprisingly, it’s worked pretty well for my neurotypical children.

Living in the Moment

I’ve been waiting for the day they will roll their eyes, or sigh or throw their hands up like they do whenever I tell them we don’t have time to go see their friends or that we’re not going to do something they want to do.

Thankfully, by having Louie Days for a while now, it has set the tone early on that today is all about him because so many of our days are not.

Had he been a neurotypical kid, we would be carting him around to his games or clubs or whatever interest he developed.

So, Louie Days are doing just that.

Taking the time to take him to do something he enjoys is essential and fair – even if it means sitting on a bench in a loud trampoline park for an hour so he can jump his heart out and feel the vibration of the music.

Or paying for a membership to our local YMCA so he can swim year-round in an indoor pool – even though swimming is the last thing we want to do on a cold winter day.

Realizing What Matters

I didn’t realize the importance of doing this until one of his preschool teachers pointed it out to me and asked what I had Louie involved in, given how active my neurotypical children seemed to be.

I told her he didn’t really have any interests, so there wasn’t much for him to do.

Then she asked me what he liked to do that didn’t involve sports he could not play.

I told him how much he loved to swim, jump, climb and swing from every kind of swing he can possibly find.

That’s when she asked me how regularly we do those things with him.

I told her we didn’t do them often because the neurotypical kids’ schedules were so busy.

As soon as those words came out of my mouth, I realized what she was trying to show me.

Louie needs just as much of a regular commitment to an activity he loves as my other children, and they need to be taught that just as a typical sibling would be.

And at the end of our Louie Days, everyone feels great about doing something someone we love loves to do, even though he can’t tell us what he wants to do. 

Do you have questions about your child’s development? The team at As You Are provides useful autism screening and diagnostic evaluations for kids 16 months to 10 years old via telehealth appointments.

Disclaimer: I am not a medical professional. This is a sponsored blog post, but all opinions are my own.

Dr. Sallade is a certified school psychologist who is experienced in evaluating children for autism and other neurodevelopmental challenges. She is the Director of Clinical Operations of As You Are, a virtual clinic dramatically increasing access to early autism diagnostic services through the use of exclusively telehealth appointments

If you have identified a developmental concern regarding your child, the last thing you want to do is wait – but unfortunately, waiting is part of the process in many cases. When it comes to autism evaluations, kids are waiting as long as three years to be seen in-person, which has parents feeling helpless and an army of clinicians and physicians eager to solve this problem. This is a national and global crisis that should openly be discussed more because the longer kids wait to get an evaluation, the longer they wait to get necessary services. That’s why we created As You Are, in fact – to shorten time to diagnosis. 

So why the long wait times? 

We can’t blame the pandemic for everything, but it is a major reason why wait times for an autism evaluation are exponentially long. The backlog of patients who couldn’t be seen in person during the height of the pandemic hasn’t yet let up and likely won’t for years to come. The other issue is that there aren’t enough trained clinicians to evaluate children in need of an assessment across the US. 

What can you do about it? 

The good news is you aren’t stuck. Thanks to some easily accessible online resources and some novel options, like exploring receiving an autism evaluation via telehealth appointments, there are available solutions that you can utilize right now.

• Learn more about autism

Familiarize yourself with the signs and symptoms of autism spectrum disorder (ASD). It can also be helpful to learn more about other conditions (e.g., ADHD, Anxiety, or Depression) that can cause similar symptoms, so you have a broader understanding of the range of possible neurodivergent conditions that could be affecting your child. If you haven’t already, I encourage parents to use the Autism Screening Tool, a short questionnaire used to determine a child’s current probability of autism based on their age and social, emotional, and behavioral functioning.

• Consider a virtual evaluation  

There are a lot of wait lists around the country for in-person autism evaluations, but you may not realize there is another way. Although the pandemic has contributed to long evaluation waitlists, it has also resulted in autism experts developing innovative ways to reliably assess autism through the use of telehealth. Clinics like As You Are are now able to provide evidence-based autism diagnostic evaluations virtually to families within the comfort of their own home. By working alongside in-person clinics to increase availability of appointments with trained clinicians, virtual autism evaluations are able to reduce waiting times for families.  

• Explore Local Resources 

Few things are as crucial as early and accurate diagnosis for children with autism because it unlocks therapeutic options at a time when they are most effective. Local nonprofit organizations and parent centers can help provide families with information, resources, and training opportunities. While some services may only be available after a diagnosis is made, learning about what areas of support are available and most relevant to your child’s current needs can help set you and your family up for success. 

• Look into Intervention Services

You don’t need to wait for an evaluation to get started with some intervention services. And when it comes to early intervention, the sooner, the better. If your child has a developmental delay, request an early intervention evaluation from the state or school system, so your child can get started receiving school-based services. These school-based evaluations can take a while to be completed (sometimes over 2 months depending on the state), so the sooner you are able to begin this process the better! 

• Pull records together

Gather any relevant records, including medical records from your child’s pediatrician, hearing test results, lab test results, school-based evaluation or early intervention evaluation notes, therapy notes, and specialist records. This can help present a full picture for the evaluation. Your physician may also want to know what other people in your child’s life have noticed. Talk with other people who know your child, like teachers, babysitters, and therapists, to gain additional insights for your file.

• Prepare for your child to shine

A little bit of advance planning can help your child cooperate at the evaluation. If possible, schedule the appointment at the right time of day for your child. If the evaluation is happening in person in an office, bring snacks and a drink to keep your child comfortable and in good spirits. If possible, arrange for a time when you can bring your child without bringing siblings along as well. That will enable you and your child to focus with minimal distractions. Unless specified by the clinic, make sure to follow any current medication routines for your child. If you are completing a virtual evaluation, try to minimize the number of screens that are on (e.g., iPads or TVs) that could detract from the play session.   

• Coordinate schedules with anyone who should be in attendance at your appointment 

Here at As You Are, we understand the importance of having a support system. That is why we encourage both guardians and/or caregivers be in attendance at your child’s appointment. This will help provide additional context and if you’re a note taker they could help. That way, you can focus on your child.

Further, each appointment occurs with your child’s dedicated physician. Our evaluation process is complete in three individual virtual video appointments. Following the third appointment, or results appointment, every family is connected with a dedicated Care Sidekick who will help your family find the appropriate resources in the area and provide ongoing support. 

For additional resources, check out additional blogs.

“As a mom, I knew in my heart something was off. I knew I needed extra help,” she said.  

Asher’s pediatrician referred him to speech therapy, and it was there that Taylor was told that they saw early signs of autism. After that, she ended up on five different waitlists to get an autism evaluation, all of them one to two years long.

Taylor felt stuck until one night when she was scrolling on Facebook, she came across As You Are, a virtual clinic increasing access to early autism diagnostic services through telehealth appointments. Her first thought was that it was too good to be true.

“I just couldn’t believe there was something like this online that had telehealth appointments available,” said Taylor. “But I wanted to go ahead and give it a try, and I’m glad I did because it’s one of the best things I’ve done.”

While her anxiety was high at first and she didn’t know what to expect from the initial appointment, within minutes, she felt completely comfortable being at home and in an environment her son was used to. Taylor was finally able to get the answers she was looking for, and Asher received a diagnosis in less than a month. The diagnosis has opened up doors for them to access services in their area.

She said, “I felt like I could finally breathe for the first time in 2 years.”

Do you have questions about your child’s development? The team at As You Are provides diagnostic evaluations for kids 16 months to 10 years old via telehealth appointments along with useful resources, including an online autism screening. Learn more at asyouare.com.

Dr. Sallade is a certified school psychologist who is experienced in evaluating children for autism and other neurodevelopmental challenges. She is the Director of Clinical Operations of As You Are, a virtual clinic dramatically increasing access to early autism diagnostic services through the use of exclusively telehealth appointments.

The school bells are ringing, signaling the end of winter vacation and the start of a new academic semester. Your family may have taken trips out of town, and you may have been living on a more relaxed holiday schedule for the last couple of weeks. For kiddos who are on the autism spectrum, or who have other neurodevelopmental differences, breaking old routines and starting a bunch of new ones can be a real challenge. But no worries! We are here to help with a few tips to help you ease the transition back to school.

Start your school routine early

I know, I know, it’s not always possible, but if you can limit extreme changes to your child’s routine over the holidays, that will help minimize stress associated with returning to school.  If not an option, try to get back to your child’s normal routine at least 1-2 days before school restarts. And don’t forget to fall back on those helpful habits you may have had at the beginning of the year but fade out right before the holidays. For example, if choosing an outfit can be a struggle in the morning, it might be better to lay the outfit out the night before. 

Sleep, sleep, sleep

Sleep is super important. School is tiring! Kids with autism can find sleep challenging in the best circumstances, so make sure to continue those good sleep hygiene habits throughout the break – including a calming wind-down routine (even if that’s later than normal) – to help your little one get a good rest each night.

Prep the night before

School-day mornings can be jam-packed with tasks. Create a calm morning routine by taking some of the pressure off. Have your child pick out breakfast and pack the backpack the night before. Having a little bit of wiggle room in your morning can help cut down on arguments and send your little one – and you – off for the day ahead in a positive frame of mind.

Eat a good breakfast

Mealtimes in schools can be tough. Lunch breaks are often short, and there are lots of distractions. Encourage your child to eat a substantial breakfast, in case it takes a while for your kiddo to re-acclimate  to school-day lunch routines.

Have a great rest of the school year!

For additional resources, check out additional blogs

Dr. Sallade is a certified school psychologist who is experienced in evaluating children for autism and other neurodevelopmental challenges. She is the Director of Clinical Operations of As You Are, a virtual clinic dramatically increasing access to early autism diagnostic services through the use of exclusively telehealth appointments

If you’re concerned that your child might have a developmental delay, be on the autism spectrum, or have another neurological difference, you may have heard the terms “IEP” and “504.” But what are they, and how can they help your child? Here is a broad overview of what IEPs and 504 plans are. For more information, talk with your child’s teacher, who should be able to point you in the right direction.

What is an IEP?

IEP stands for individualized education program. It’s a legal document that outlines what special education services and support your child needs to succeed in the public school environment. It’s a detailed document that serves as a contract between your family and the school, and it’s administered in accordance with the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA). 

With an IEP, students get instruction that is tailored to their needs, strengths, and challenges. It outlines specific goals and metrics by which the school and the family will monitor progress toward those goals. 

What’s the difference between an IEP and a 504 plan?

A 504 plan is a bit broader and has less formal requirements. A 504 plan seeks to ensure that an individual is not penalized or discriminated against due to their disability. It outlines any support or accommodations to the general curriculum that your child needs in order to participate successfully in the general education classroom. To be eligible, an individual must have a disability that “substantially limits one or more of such person’s major life activities.” 504 plans are also used for individuals who have a medical condition or disability that requires accommodations. In many cases, a person who does not qualify for an IEP can still qualify for 504 accommodations. 

Remember: modifications vs accommodations! An IEP will provide changes or modifications to a child’s educational programing through special education whereas a 504 plan will provide support to a child within the  general education setting. Another important distinction to note is that an IEP only applies to K-12 public school education, while a 504 can extend beyond K-12 if needed. 

How do I get an IEP for my child?

The process of establishing an IEP for your child begins with an initial evaluation to assess your child’s specific areas of challenge and whether they are affecting your child’s educational development. There are two points that need to be identified as a result of an initial evaluation to qualify your child for an IEP. First, there must be evidence that your child has a disability as outlined under IDEA and state educational laws. Second, the child must demonstrate a need for special education services. 

As a parent or guardian, you can request an IEP eligibility meeting with your child’s school. The evaluation process must be completed in a timely manner, so to start the clock, you should submit a meeting and/or evaluation request in writing. Your pediatrician can also write this request for you to submit to the school. 

Parents, special education teachers, and school administrators work together to develop each child’s IEP, and as a parent, you should have significant input. If you have any questions or concerns throughout the evaluation process, don’t be afraid to contact your child’s teacher or school psychologist. Your input is vital in better understanding your child’s strengths and needs. 

For additional resources, check out additional blogs

Autism Mom and Contributing Writer for As You Are, a virtual clinic dramatically increasing access to early autism diagnostic services through the use of exclusively telehealth appointments

I knew very little about autism before my son received an official diagnosis at 6 years old. I spent hours online researching but what I found to be the most helpful was learning from people who had more time into their journey than I did. Reading blogs about the experiences and the thoughts and feelings of other moms brought so much comfort, hope and just the right dose of reality. Now here I am blogging about my experiences and my thoughts and feelings, which feels surreal. So if you are a parent who is just finding out that your child has autism, please know that I’ve been exactly where you are right now. I hope reading this will help you, just like other blogs helped me. Three years into our son’s autism diagnosis, here are some of top lessons I’ve learned about coping with the challenges and victories a diagnosis brings:

Milestones are mountains.

When our son wasn’t talking by the time he was 2 years old, we didn’t think we would ever be able to communicate with him. Then, we realized we would. It just wouldn’t happen the way we communicate with most people in our lives and our other children. Sign language started to help. And now, our son is learning to use an Augmentative and Alternative Communication device. It’s essentially just an iPad with an app on it that gives our son pictures to touch to say the words he wants. The first time he answered yes and no to questions I asked him, it felt like we had just reached the top of a mountain. That’s how milestones feel: absolutely momentous and will keep you feeling like you’re on top of the world. Enjoy them and treasure them.

Stay present.

I’ve touched on this topic in a previous blog, but it is worth repeating because this one took us the longest to not only realize, but to practice. Fears and worries about your child’s future, when you are too old to care for them, are very real and a heavy load to carry. The challenge for all families with special needs children is to not let your worries about your child in the future make you miss out on the child you have in front of you today. Be present for your child’s needs and accomplishments today.

The spectrum is broad.

One of the reasons why our son wasn’t diagnosed with autism until he was 5 years old is because the occupational, speech and physical therapists who worked with him didn’t think he had the signs. He maintained eye contact, so much so, that he will grab your face and forced you to look into his eyes almost as if he’s peering into your soul. Loud noises didn’t seem to bother him. And he seemed very social. The moment a specialist saw him, however, it was obvious. Yes he was social, going up to perfect strangers and giving hugs, but he showed no interest in playing with his peers or understanding social cues about personal space. He obsessed over chewing the collars on his shirts and flapped his hands to show excitement. In meeting other children with autism, it has always amazed us how different they all are. So, autism is not a one-size-fits-all diagnosis. What you read or hear about others may not apply to your child, and that’s OK. What works for some children may not work for yours, and that doesn’t mean anything other than your child is part of a broad spectrum of possibilities.

What you can’t do today, you might be able to tomorrow.

Just as much as I preach staying present and not missing out on what’s in front of you pondering the future, there are times when thinking about the future can be positive. Just like with typical children, everything is temporary with special needs children. So just because your child might not be mastering or doing something on their own today doesn’t necessarily mean they’ll never be able to do it. Our son with autism is now 8 years old. At times, especially when looking at pictures, I wish I could go back in time and tell myself how far he would come. He had a feeding tube for the first year of his life. It took what seemed like an eternity for him to get the coordination he needed to feed himself with his own hands as well as even have the drive to eat at all. Now, some of my favorite pictures are of him covered in a meal he demolished. I still worry that he isn’t using utensils and fear he may never do so. If he doesn’t, so what? And if he does, it will happen on his own time and we have to learn to be OK with waiting.

We’re not the first, the only or the last family with an autistic child.

From the moment we got our diagnosis, it felt like we were the only ones who had ever heard those words. We quickly learned how wrong we were and how reassuring it was to be able to find others who have already been down this path or who are learning just like we are. It is a challenge as our lives continue and hurdles present themselves to keep that feeling of loneliness creeping in. Sometimes, just saying the words out loud that we are not the only ones raising an autistic child in this world can help us tremendously. Suddenly, tasks like finding safe and creative ways to address our son’s oral sensory seeking needs don’t seem impossible. Finding ways to give him medication even though he won’t take a pill becomes doable and not daunting. Connect with other families with autistic children, even if it’s just joining a Facebook group in which you never post a comment, or a subscription to a publication you can read on your own terms, or diving in head first into a local support group, it will help you realize you’re not alone.

Do you have questions about your child’s development? The team at As You Are provides useful autism screening and diagnostic evaluations for kids 16 months to 10 years old via telehealth appointments.

 Disclaimer: I am not a medical professional. This is a sponsored blog post, but all opinions are my own.

Dr. Sallade is a certified school psychologist who is experienced in evaluating children for autism and other neurodevelopmental challenges. She is the Director of Clinical Operations of As You Are, a virtual clinic dramatically increasing access to early autism diagnostic services through the use of exclusively telehealth appointments

Pumpkins! Football games! Harvest festivals! Fall is such a fun season. But if your little one has some sensory challenges, autumn can be overwhelming. Here are three strategies you can try to support your child with their sensory needs and help them enjoy all the festivities the season has to offer.

Strategy 1: Reduce stimuli

You know your child best. First identify which situations or activities tend to be the hardest for your child, and then try to drill down to how you can reduce the triggering stimuli. For example, wearing headphones to reduce the noise could help your child enjoy a football game more easily. Heading out to a fall festival on a sunny day might be less stimulating with a pair of sunglasses or a hat. Think about what might work for your child, and go for it!

Another thing to be mindful of is clothing. Some kids have a difficult time transitioning to fall clothing, switching from short sleeves to long sleeves and adding layers. These are great things to work on with your child’s therapist.

Strategy 2: Prepare ahead of time  

Use social stories to tell and show your child what to expect at a certain event. What will they see? Who will be there? What will they do, and when? By preparing ahead of time, your child can envision the event, cutting down on the amount of new information coming at them in the moment.

Strategy 3: Practice at home 

Fall brings a lot of sensory activities to mind. Try incorporating sensory play into your child’s activities. New experiences can be overwhelming for anyone! By phasing in small new sensory experiences at home, you can help your child become comfortable in a safe-space as well as learn more about what your child’s sensory needs are and how to support them. Here are some fun fall sensory play activities:

• Have your child help you rake some leaves, then jump in the pile and have some fun!
• Get a few mini pumpkins, some textured gourds, and a bucket, tray, or sink full of sudsy, soapy water for sensory water play!
• Make some fall-themed homemade play-dough – pumpkin spice, anyone?!

While engaging in these activities with your child, talk to them about what you see, smell, feel and hear. This can help give your child the words they need to communicate with you in the future about something that is bothering them. If your child has any therapists, make sure to ask them about other ideas and approaches you can try at home, so your child can be ready to enjoy all the beauty of fall.

For additional resources, check out additional blogs

Autism Mom and Contributing Writer for As You Are, a virtual clinic dramatically increasing access to early autism diagnostic services through the use of exclusively telehealth appointments

My mother couldn’t wait to tell us.

She wanted all of us to be on Facetime so she could see all of our reactions to the news: we’re going to Disney World!

My neurotypical twin boys, who were 7 at the time, were ecstatic. 

They literally jumped for joy. 

Gave each other high fives, hugged and cheered.

My special needs son didn’t have a reaction. I doubt he knows what Disney World is, or what a wonderful experience it could be for him.

My husband and I smiled and cheered along with our neurotypical boys.

But both of us know how to act like everything is OK to let our neurotypical kids have their moments.

We looked at each other, giant smiles on our faces, seeing and knowing the apprehension we both felt in our hearts at that moment.

We’re going to Disney World with our autistic son, who was only 4 at the time.

What if he gets lost?

How are we going to keep track of him?

What’s going to happen on the airplane?

What if he gets lost?

How are we going to stay overnight in the same room?

How is he going to sleep?

Where is he going to sleep?

Did I say what if he gets lost?

For weeks, I had nightmares of being at the happiest place on earth, looking at one of my other children for a moment, and turning around only to see my autistic son get swallowed up and disappear into a sea of people.

I talked to my husband about whether we should tell my parents we would go, but we would not be bringing our autistic son and maybe leave him behind with a babysitter. 

But it was a nine-day trip. And my husband felt strongly that we should try to make these memories all together as a family. I felt the same way, but would feel my chest tighten and my heart pound every time I thought about my special needs son wandering away from us as he always tries to do.

Ultimately, we decided to give it a go.

Shockingly, he did well on the airplane, just sitting with his trusty iPad listening to his favorite songs and speech therapy videos.

The sleeping arrangements proved to be the biggest hurdle. Our son’s biggest challenge when traveling is sleeping somewhere new. When we are home and he’s in his own bedroom with his own bed, he is thankfully pretty predictable and consistent with his nighttime routine and going to bed. When he’s somewhere new, he is terrified.

Any change in his sleep routine is really difficult for him, and, of course, for us.

I don’t think any of us really slept for those nine days because we were all in the same room.

I know for sure my husband and I barely slept, both of us taking turns making sure he wasn’t getting into something he shouldn’t, turning on lights, making noise.

I constantly wonder how much my son Louie will remember from a vacation like that. We put up a photo wall in our home with 15 photos from the Disney World trip and guess what? Louie is obsessed, and I mean truly OBSESSED, with one of the pictures on the wall. It’s of our whole family standing in front of the Magic Kingdom. Every day, he takes that particular photo off the wall and places it next to him, to be by his side, wherever he goes in the house. Every night, I put the photo back up on the wall so the tradition can continue the next day. Louie is nonverbal so, to me, this is his way of communicating a memory that he wants to keep close to him, by his side, all of the time. I’m here to tell you traveling is worth a shot. We made memories for a lifetime and are so glad we pushed ourselves to do this. We learned a few things along the way and hope these tips will help you someday:

1. You don’t have to travel.

 It’s OK to say no. Even though we are extremely happy we went to Disney World, and have taken a few other road trips, my husband and I rarely travel to see family or friends. And that’s OK. Yes, there is some guilt we feel when we miss out on get-togethers and I, in particular, have grown very distant from my family as they live out-of-town. But I also have to do what’s best for my family and our mental health. Staying home is what’s best for our family and especially for our autistic son. Routine, familiarity, and the expected is what helps him thrive. So, there are many occasions we pass up. We also tend to host a lot of get-togethers among friends and family because it’s easier on us and our children. Asking friends and family to come to our house for gatherings has been one of the best ways to see those we love, and getting the house ready and cooking doesn’t feel nearly as stressful as the thought of traveling sometimes.

2. Prep friends and family. 

Friends and family who aren’t used to being around us need a primer on how to adapt to our special needs son. Don’t be afraid to tell them about how they can best help handle your child’s special needs. For example, our son is prone to darting away or wandering. He’s not just going to stand by our sides or stay with us like most kids do if we’re not holding his hand at all times. So, every time we go somewhere, we ask to lock all the doors and close all the bathrooms. And, if we go somewhere, we ask everyone with us to help keep an eye on our son. We had to have a very serious discussion with my parents about how every one of us needed to keep an eye on our special needs son and it couldn’t just be my husband and I doing it all the time. It might seem like a conversation that would be a no-brainer, but when it comes to a special needs child, others who aren’t used to being around them need to be told how serious it is. My son is 8 years old, but he needs to be watched like he’s a 12-month-old who wanders. Reminding everyone around us of that is something we should and must do.  

3. Stick to your routine as much as possible. 

If the schedule gets out of whack, just try to keep the routine. My son’s nightly routine is simple: bathe, get into pajamas, brush teeth, get a drink, read a book, turn on white noise, turn out the lights and go to bed. When traveling, if bedtime happens much later than normal, be sure to keep the routine in place and that might help. Same with eating. Keep the same routine even if the timing is off.

4. Think about safety. 

When we went to Disney World, one of the things we did was write our phone number on a sticker we put on his back every day (he rips stickers off his shirt if he sees them and won’t wear a bracelet). Some other families we noticed would write their phone numbers on their children’s arms so it couldn’t come off. Prepare a safety plan as much as possible depending on where you are going and talk about it with your entire family so everyone knows what’s expected.

5. Practice. 

If your child isn’t used to riding in a car very often, start taking them for drives that you wouldn’t normally think to take them on. Even if you’re running quick errands, take them for the ride. Reading books about airplanes can be helpful, and even going to the airport before the big day can be as well. If there is a train involved, take a ride on one or go look at them before the big day. Having your special needs child experience the mode of transportation the day of for the first time could be setting them up for disaster. Expose them to the experience slowly but surely ahead of time if possible.

6. Call ahead. 

It has been surprising to me how often there are accommodations available for special needs children at various places. If you think your child might do better on an airplane toward the back of the plane or somewhere as secluded as possible, call ahead and ask if that would be possible. Or if you would like to board first before the plane fills up, or maybe last to avoid sitting in the cabin for too long, see if that would be possible or if the airlines have any other suggestions. You might be surprised what others who have come before you have discovered that led to an easier path for those to come after them. 

Do you have questions about your child’s development? The team at As You Are provides useful autism screening and diagnostic evaluations for kids 16 months to 10 years old via telehealth appointments.

 Disclaimer: I am not a medical professional. This is a sponsored blog post, but all opinions are my own.

Dr. Sallade is a certified school psychologist who is experienced in evaluating children for autism and other neurodevelopmental challenges. She is the Director of Clinical Operations of As You Are, a virtual clinic dramatically increasing access to early autism diagnostic services through the use of exclusively telehealth appointments

It is that time of the year again! I have always enjoyed the changing of leaves, cool temperatures, and of course all things Halloween!

As a school psychologist, parents and teachers alike often have concerns regarding the massive influx of processed, sugary candy that seems to come along with every event they attend during the month of October. Another separate, but related, issue is the increase in food allergies: peanuts, tree nuts, soy, and dairy among them. Mass-produced, processed candy can often feel like the only option-with no other alternatives in sight. However with some creativity and teamwork, I have compiled a list of Halloween treats that are sensory and allergy friendly!

Here are a few fun Halloween treat ideas that aren’t candy:

• Non-candy, individually wrapped snacks: pretzels, goldfish crackers, animal crackers
• Individual jars of Play-Doh
• Small sets of crayons
• Small toys or games (jacks, bouncy balls)
• Slimy, sticky hand toys (my crew’s favorite)
• Small instrument, like a plastic mini harmonica or whistle
• Stickers
• Pencils with fun Halloween themes
• Temporary tattoos or stamps
• Erasers
• Tiny notebooks
• Other small, Halloween-themed items, like spider rings

The list of ideas is almost endless – just type “non-candy Halloween treat alternatives” into your favorite search engine, and you’ll see what I mean. And I know what you’re thinking – “my kids will freak!” But I’m here to tell you that a unique and creative candy alternative can be just as exciting as that 100th mini candy bar.

A friendly reminder this Halloween:

One of my favorite things about the month of October is that the weather starts to change, outdoor events pop-up, and gatherings with friends and family increase – bringing people together. You may meet children you’ve never seen before as they come to your door to trick-or-treat. As you do, remember: not every child is neurotypical and not every adult knows about neurodivergent children. There’s likely a reason when a youngster doesn’t make eye contact or doesn’t speak after ringing the doorbell. And an adult that tries to make your child say trick or treat may not be thinking about how difficult that is for some kiddos.. Take a moment to be present, be kind, and be sensitive to everyone you meet on Halloween and throughout the season!

For additional resources, check out some more Notes from the Doc blog articles.

“I felt like my baby was screaming for help, but I didn’t have a clue where to start,” she said.

LaQuetta searched for answers on the Internet and found a virtual clinic called As You Are, which dramatically increases access to early autism diagnostic services through the use of exclusively telehealth appointments. She couldn’t believe what she was seeing. She eagerly filled out the online paperwork, and the support team followed up with a benefits investigation where she learned that the cost of the diagnostic evaluation would be covered based on her child’s individual insurance plan. 

LaQuetta said, “I struck gold… As You Are was literally a Godsend for my family. From the scheduling of our first appointment to technical support to the very end, each and every person was warm, caring, eager to assist, efficient, knowledgeable and consistent to the very end. I give As You Are a 10 out of 10.”

Because of the diagnosis, Nicholas is now receiving the therapeutic services that his mom has been waiting for.

She said, “You guys need to be the first people doctor’s offices refer patients. I would recommend As You Are because as a parent, I had no idea how to parent a child with ASD or a developmental delay.” 

Do you have questions about your child’s development? The team at As You Are provides useful autism screening and diagnostic evaluations for kids 16 months to 10 years old via telehealth appointments. Learn more at asyouare.com.

“It felt overwhelming and amazing,” she said. “I finally knew my gut was right. It was amazing to know she is going to get occupational therapy after school.”

In rural Alabama, Cassandra says the wait time for an autism evaluation is 2.5 years. Not being able to delay care any longer, she was able to find help from As You Are, a new virtual clinic that dramatically increases access to early autism diagnostic services through the use of exclusively telehealth appointments. She learned about As You Are on her Facebook feed and called one of the support team members. 

“Just to make sure it was legit,” she said, about calling the As You Are support team. “They explained everything that was going to happen.” 

Once she filled out online paperwork and the team conducted a benefits investigation, Cassandra was able to get an appointment immediately with Dr. Gina Labovitz, one of the As You Are physicians. Cassandra says she had never experienced this quality of care before.

She said, “Dr. Labovitz has been amazing with Karly. She brought out a side no one has ever seen.”

With the diagnosis, she now has the answers she was looking for, and Karly has the therapy she says she’s been needing. 

“The group As You Are is a wonderful group. Also, a big shoutout to Dr. Labovitz – she was awesome with Karly.”

Do you have questions about your child’s development? The team at As You Are provides useful autism screening and diagnostic evaluations for kids 16 months to 10 years old via telehealth appointments. Learn more at asyouare.com.

“The waitlists were insane everywhere. The other issue seemed to be that no one would accept his insurance, meaning it would be out of pocket. I was in tears, frustrated, and not sure how I could help my son,” she said.

Jenna was told the waitlist in her area was two years long, which was two years too late for this mom.

“I have always been told to follow my mother’s intuition and that’s precisely what I do. I am not afraid to stand up for my kids and continue to seek answers if need be,” she said.

That’s when Jenna, who is often referred to by friends as “mama bear,” took it upon herself to find a solution. She searched the Internet for “autism evaluations” and that’s when she found a virtual clinic she had never heard of before, called As You Are, which dramatically increases access to early autism diagnostic services through the use of exclusively telehealth appointments. After speaking with a member of the support team, who provided a benefits investigation, Jenna was excited to hear that the cost of the diagnostic evaluation would be covered based on her child’s insurance plan. In tears, Jenna knew she found the answer she was looking for. 

“Thankfully, that is when I came across the As You Are ad; which I know God had to have brought to my attention,” she said. “I was able to get an evaluation quickly, within 2 weeks. Everyone that I spoke with was very nice and helpful. What really stood out to me, with this company, is that after the evaluations they don’t stop there, they have staff to continue to walk you through the next steps along this new journey for you and your child.”

Do you have questions about your child’s development? The team at As You Are provides diagnostic evaluations for kids 16 months to 10 years old via telehealth appointments. Learn more at asyouare.com. Check out more family stories here.

Autism Mom and Contributing Writer for As You Are, a virtual clinic dramatically increasing access to early autism diagnostic services through the use of exclusively telehealth appointments

This is a guide on ways to be more supportive and helpful in language when you meet a parent who has a child with autism. Oftentimes, people want to say the right thing and are afraid of saying the wrong thing. Here are some words that may come to your mind. What seems like the right thing to say may not be and here’s why:

There are so many resources out there nowadays for children with autism.

Yes, we know, but it is also difficult to find and qualify for all of the resources that are out there. And all the resources in the world still don’t make this diagnosis go away. The resources aren’t neatly or comprehensively arranged either. That, on top of never feeling like we’re doing enough for our child makes this statement really sting sometimes.

What can I do to help?

Thinking of a task to give you so that you feel better about the situation isn’t very high on my priority list. Get to know that family who has a child with autism. When you do, what you can do to help will become apparent and you won’t have to ask. You will know what to do, and the parents you do it for will be so grateful. Something as simple as offering to have the family over for pizza or a way to spend time together is a big help to families with special needs kiddos because sometimes going places isn’t the easiest thing to do. When you do go places with a special needs family, jump in and help just like you would for a neurotypical child. Or offer to drive a child to a therapy session or sensory-friendly event.

I think autism is overdiagnosed.

For someone with absolutely no medical background or foundation in research to flippantly say something like this is like getting punched in the gut. We already have a lot to come to terms with when we get this diagnosis. We already have the doubts that come with not wanting to accept it. The last thing we need is for someone to act like we are getting hosed or taken by the autism world.

I know someone with autism and they’re perfectly fine.

Autism affects everyone differently. For some children, it’s barely noticeable. For others, it is obvious. Telling us that someone you know is “perfectly fine” doesn’t help us if we don’t believe our child is. And you may think that child or adult with autism is “perfectly fine,” and they actually may not be. Sweeping generalizations like this are extremely harmful and do not give us hope.

You know, they’ll probably outgrow a lot of this.

No, I don’t know that and neither do you. That’s one of the things that’s so unpredictable about an Autism diagnosis. No one can say whether symptoms will improve with time, or if there will be regression. At 8 years old, we are still wondering if our son will ever learn to use utensils, tell us he has to go to the bathroom, dress himself or speak. And we’re not sure if he will ever “outgrow” any of it.

Do you have questions about your child’s development? The team at As You Are provides useful autism screening and diagnostic evaluations for kids 16 months to 10 years old via telehealth appointments.

Disclaimer: I am not a medical professional. This is a sponsored blog post, but all opinions are my own.

Autism Mom and Contributing Writer for As You Are, a virtual clinic dramatically increasing access to early autism diagnostic services through the use of exclusively telehealth appointments

1. My children have questions about your child, what should I say to them?

Not too long ago at a soccer tournament for my neurotypical children, I noticed one of their peers watching my son with autism. It wasn’t a typical stare like I see most children do when my son is exhibiting some of his sensory-seeking behaviors like chewing his shirt or rapidly flapping his hands. It was a genuine curiosity. I saw him go to his mother and quietly talk to her. Then, she came over and said, “My son is really interested in your son, and he has questions he would like to ask if that’s OK.” I said of course and ask away. I really appreciate when parents of neurotypical kids and the kiddos themselves don’t feel ashamed to ask questions and learn more about autism. It’s better than just a stare.

2. If you ever need a break, I would be happy to babysit.

This is a big offer, just as much as it is a big ask. Caring for a child with autism is a tall order for parents, let alone parents who do not have special needs experience. In making an offer like this, don’t be afraid to say you are intimidated or afraid you might not know exactly what the child needs, but also know how few and far between offers – especially free ones – are for parents of children with autism. And the appreciation the special needs parent will have for the offer alone will go a long way. For us, I assure whoever is watching over our son with autism knows that we expect frequent calls or texts and if we don’t get them, we might get worried. It will be far from any babysitting experience you’ve ever had, but the parents will appreciate it and be part of it from afar unlike most childcare experiences.

3. Your son/daughter with autism might like…

This is a tricky one, because it is important how you phrase this. Don’t say, “you should,” or “you ought to look into,” whatever it is that you’re about to suggest. One of the constant struggles I have is feeling like I’m never reading enough, researching enough or doing enough for my special needs son. Do some research of your own on opportunities for children with autism and share what you find out with their parents. If ever someone comes along and offers up information about a new grant, or special needs camp or program, it’s like someone just handed me a gift. But also, don’t be offended if that parent doesn’t open the gift right away. It’s nothing personal. It takes some parents longer than others to explore new ideas for their children and some may still be coming to terms with their diagnosis and not quite ready to jump into the world of autism all at once.

4. I don’t know what you’re going through, but I admire your strength through it all.

Again, many parents with special needs children struggle with feeling as though they are not doing enough for their child. Sometimes, hearing someone tell them they are strong is exactly what we need to hear. Knowing that others see it, even though we can’t, means a lot.

5. How are you?

This three-word question is something we often ask each other throughout the course of a day, but when you pose it to a parent of a child with special needs, be prepared for the answer. And really take the time to go beyond just “fine” or “good.” Ask what is making them feel fine today, or good today. And prepare yourself for the honesty that will hopefully flow after that. Feeling seen for the different path our lives are taking means a lot, when sometimes you wonder whether anyone truly cares or wants to even know what it’s really like for you.

6. We would love for your son or daughter to come with and we will work with their needs.

Getting an invitation to go anywhere or do anything with a neurotypical family doesn’t often happen and, if it does, parents of special needs children might decline thinking it will be too much for them and their child to handle. Making the invitation is one thing, but taking that extra step by acknowledging that there will have to be some accommodations on everyone’s part to make it work shows us there is a mutual understanding there and desire to make it successful.

7. I’d love to put you in touch with a family I know that has a child with autism.

Especially for families coping with a new diagnosis, getting a chance to meet someone else who is further along in their journey or just starting out is helpful. Offering to make that connection is a great idea, especially because we have very little time to expand our social circles in meaningful ways. I had a fellow special needs parent invite me to a simple Facebook Messenger chat that includes about six or seven moms whom I  have never met, but we all have children with autism. It’s a place to turn to and share our triumphs and heartbreaks in a very candid non-judgmental forum. Sometimes, that’s all the connection with another special needs family we need, or sometimes it could turn into a full friendship. 

Do you have questions about your child’s development? The team at As You Are provides useful autism screening and diagnostic evaluations for kids 16 months to 10 years old via telehealth appointments.

Disclaimer: I am not a medical professional. This is a sponsored blog post, but all opinions are my own.

Autism Mom and Contributing Writer for As You Are, a virtual clinic dramatically increasing access to early autism diagnostic services through the use of exclusively telehealth appointments

Never Enough

My babysitter was so excited, she couldn’t wait to tell me.

She had taken my son to a place equipped with every swing and sensory experience imaginable for special needs kiddos and found out they had a summer camp program.

She and I had both talked about how we had wished there were summer camp options for special needs kids.

It felt so unfair to bring my older neurotypical kids to summer camps, and have my son with autism go home with my sitter.

She took him to as many places as possible, but couldn’t give him exposure to other kiddos just like him or even neurotypical kids.

So when she told me about the summer camp she discovered, my heart sank.

I should have known about this.

I should have researched more.

I failed him.

She texted me about it while I was at work.

I tried not to let the voice in my head overwhelm me.

But it did.

Losing it

I had a meeting to go to.

Work is another way that guilt creeps in.

Look at me, I don’t even have time to research this camp now because I have to work.

I’m failing him.

I sat down at my boss’s desk, ready to talk about the projects we had ahead of us, and just lost it.

At times like that, I dig down deep in my internal memory box for the quotes and moments that have helped me learn how to move forward in this journey with my son.

I was propelled back to a summer family gathering when a crowd of concerned cousins had gathered around me to learn more about my son’s conditions.

One of my cousins is a speech therapist.

At the time of that gathering, my son was too young to even have speech therapy, so I didn’t really realize how much more she knew about what was ahead for us.

I was doing the same thing.

Going through all of the things I felt like I should be doing for my son.

I really need to make time to sit down and read all of the autism parenting magazines.

I really need to see if there is any funding out there for him.

I really need to see if there is more therapy, more programs, more oral sensory tools than the ones I have for him.

I don’t know if the school he is in is the best place for him.

Words to live by

That’s when my cousin, the speech therapist, said it:

“Parents of special needs kids never feel like they’re doing enough. No matter how much or how little you do, you will never feel like you’re doing enough.”

It’s so true.

And realizing that helps.

It helps stop me from losing it when I learn about a program too late for him.

And it forces me to look at all I have done for him.

My sitter helped me with that one this time, reminding me that he had a great summer.

Sure it would have been great for him to go to that camp, but he still had a great summer without it. 

He went to the zoo, the pool, parks, the sensory gym and worked on a bunch of independence skills with my babysitter at home.

I had found her for him.

And this summer, that was enough.

Do you have questions about your child’s development? The team at As You Are provides useful autism screening and diagnostic evaluations for kids 16 months to 10 years old via telehealth appointments.

Disclaimer: I am not a medical professional. This is a sponsored blog post, but all opinions are my own.

Dr. West is a board-certified pediatrician who has spent the last decade diagnosing and treating children with autism.

There’s no question: having your child diagnosed with autism can be scary and overwhelming. Part of the reason for that is that the diagnostic process tends to focus on deficits – how a child who meets the criteria for autism spectrum disorder is behind his or her peers when it comes to developmental milestones for communication and social skills. 

But it is good to flip this notion on its head. There is more to autism than a list of symptoms or weaknesses. And there is more than one way to respond to the differences that a child with autism may exhibit. Yes, people with autism experience the world differently, but it’s possible to see these differences not as problems to be fixed, but as a unique set of gifts. 

What is a strengths-based approach to autism therapy?

A strengths-based approach begins with a recognition that many people with autism are capable of immense levels of focus, attention, concentration. Many children with autism are very intelligent. Their way of interacting with the world may not be typical, but it’s also not “wrong.”

As a therapeutic approach, strengths-based therapy begins with the assumption that a person with autism has strengths that can, and should, be nurtured and encouraged. For example, if a child with autism is highly interested in Lego bricks, a therapist can use that interest to engage with the child on his or her own terms. By forging a legitimate and authentic connection with the child, the therapist can gain insight into how to build on the child’s strengths and expand their communication or social skills.

Parents can adopt a strengths-based mindset, too. It can be a relief to stop thinking about how to force your child to act as a typically developing child might act – and start thinking of your child as a unique individual with his or her own way of experiencing the world. Using your child’s strengths as a starting point, and using them to engage with your child’s areas of interest and enthusiasm, can help you find ways to expand on those strengths.

All people develop on their own timeline.

I encourage you as a parent to remember that your child is unique – and thus their development and growth is too. Just as we look at growth charts, developing and attaining skills can be thought of in the same way. Some children are taller or shorter, and some children learn how to walk or talk later than others. As pediatricians we want to identify when a child is developing differently, so that we can understand if there’s a way to support their growth, and help them flourish.

You are not alone in this journey. Your child has exceptional abilities. Learn more about the importance of understanding early intervention and how to navigate a comfortable next step for you and your family with As You Are.

Autism Mom and Contributing Writer for As You Are, a virtual clinic dramatically increasing access to early autism diagnostic services through the use of exclusively telehealth appointments

My friend Allison and I were pregnant with twins at the same time.

We were the same age.

Worked together.

Had parents who lived in the same state.

We had the same hair color.

So, we were frequently confused for one another.

It didn’t get much better when we chose the same school for our twins – and they were in the same class.

We started sharing stories about how our kids were doing. The milestones they were reaching, and the ones they were not. At that time, we believed all of our children were neurotypical.

Over time, I started to notice Allison didn’t talk as much about the developmental things her son was doing. She talked more about his twin sister than her son.

Our conversations focused much more on work and details of what we did on the weekend.

It was such a slight change I hardly noticed it.

A long lunch

One day, she asked me if we could have lunch – which was something we frequently did, so I found it odd that she would formally ask me.

“It’s kind of important, so I just want to be sure you can be there,” she said.

“Of course,” I answered, feeling a bit concerned.

All of the possibilities of what it could be about raced through my mind.

Did she get another job?

Is she moving?

Is she pregnant?

Are her and her husband having trouble?

She invited another one of our friends along, too.

Then, sitting across from us in a booth where we had sat countless times together eating our microwave meals, she said three words I’ll never forget:

“Michael has autism.”

I sat there stunned.

I had known Michael since he was born.

And was clueless.

Again, my mind raced.

What do you mean he has autism?

He’s 5 years old, so…

Then I blurted it out, “Oh my God Allison, how long have you known?”

Then, another stunner.

“About a year,” she answered, pursing her lips, almost acknowledging how shocking she knew that would sound to me. 

Then, an immense feeling of sadness overwhelmed me as I wondered how and why she suffered with this knowledge alone for so long. What did we do to make her feel like she couldn’t confide in us, couldn’t turn to us?

Then, she explained it.

“I hope you guys understand, it’s taken me this long to even be able to say the word,” she said – still not saying “the word.”

It’s different

I tried my best to comfort her, thinking of all of the things she had told me about Michael’s development.

“Are you sure they’re right? I mean, how can they know? He’s so young,” I blurted out.

Michael didn’t fit the version of an autistic child I had in my own mind, having had limited exposure with them at the time.

I had no idea he was any different than neurotypical kids, other than he sometimes flapped his hands in excitement and didn’t make much eye contact.

He was fully verbal – overly verbal it seemed, as I remember marveling at his vocabulary for such a young age.

I now know he is high functioning.

“Remember the day we talked about how your son and Michael couldn’t remember to put on their shoes?” she asked me.

“Yeah, I told you my son would walk right out into the snow if I didn’t tell him 50 times to put his shoes on,” I told her.

She sat there quietly.

She told me that moment was one of the ways she knew her son was different.

She took him to her pediatrician, who was already concerned about a few milestones.

Then, to a specialist.

And, the diagnosis came.

It was one of her worst fears.

“It’s different,” she explained. “Your son just forgets. Michael knows he should put his shoes on, but he doesn’t like them. He doesn’t like the sensory input he gets from his shoes.”

She explained the routine they came up with to get him to put his shoes on.

Sing a song about putting shoes on.

Opening all of the laces.

No Velcro. He didn’t like the sound.

Sliding his foot in at least three times in and out.

Then tying his laces, and untying them if they weren’t just right.

Some days, it took less than a minute.

Other days, or even sometimes on the same day, it took an hour.

And for some reason, it clicked with me.

She had already been down all the roads I was going, doubting the doctors were right, trying to compare his habits to neurotypical kid.

And she had done it for a whole year, all by herself.

Then, it was my turn

Three years later, it was my turn to say “the word” to describe my own son.

Her story was part of the reason why I was able to use the word Autism to describe my son not long after his diagnosis.

And, it made explaining him to others easier given all of my son’s more obvious delays – being nonverbal, wearing chew necklaces so he doesn’t chew the collars of his shirts, wearing pull ups at 8 years old, eating with his hands, being unable to dress himself.

For Allison, the word Autism is still hard to say.

She’s since moved away, and we barely talk.

And not many people who now live around her know about Michael’s Autism.

It’s taught me how it’s ok to cope with this diagnosis in whatever way works for you.

Whether you dye your hair blue to raise awareness for autism, go crazy on social media telling your story or prefer not to share it with anyone, ever, you have to do what works for you.

Because you have to work for your child.

For Allison, she has accepted the diagnosis.

Michael gets all of the support, therapy and attention he needs as Allison is a fierce advocate for him, making sure he gets all of the services he needs.

She just prefers to do it alone.

That’s one of the few ways we differ.

And that’s OK.

Do you have questions about your child’s development? The team at As You Are provides useful autism screening and diagnostic evaluations for kids 16 months to 10 years old via telehealth appointments.

Disclaimer: I am not a medical professional. This is a sponsored blog post, but all opinions are my own.

Dr. West is a board-certified pediatrician who has spent the last decade diagnosing and treating children with autism.

If you question behaviors your child is displaying or notice signs of autism in your child, your first inclination may be to wait and see. After all, every child develops at his or her own pace, and just because your child isn’t hitting milestones on the same schedule as your child’s same age family, or your neighbor down the street, it doesn’t mean there is anything to diagnose or be concerned about. 

But I would encourage you not to wait and to act on your parental instinct. Ask your child’s healthcare provider about the behaviors you question  and get the assessment process started now. Why? Because the younger your child is when diagnosed with autism, and the earlier intervention is started, the better the long-term outcomes will be.

What is early intervention, and why is it a good idea?

Early intervention is defined as intervention that happens before age 3 – that’s before preschool. 

• Research supports the value of early intervention. The Eunice Kennedy Shriver National Institute of Child Health and Human Development, part of the National Institutes of Health, has an easy-to-follow summary of the latest studies.
• Starting intervention before age 3 correlates with a higher chance of matriculating into a typical classroom by first grade. 
• Studies show that some children with an autism diagnosis who receive early intervention services will later have behavior and development similar to their neurotypical  peers and potentially no longer be considered on the autism spectrum.
• Before age 4, the brain is undergoing rapid development, including rewiring and pruning of the neural pathways, providing a golden opportunity to make progress and develop new skills. 

The brain’s ability to rewire itself – called neuroplasticity – means that it can make new connections and forge new pathways. Early childhood is when humans have the highest level of neuroplasticity – and that’s the key to why early intervention can be so powerful. That means, if we can help a child with autism develop verbal and nonverbal communication skills for example, we can help set that child on a path to a lifetime of effective communication. 

There is a huge waiting list for autism assessments in my area. What do I do?

Because autism covers such a broad spectrum of signs and behaviors, the diagnostic process is comprehensive and can lead to long wait lists. However, that doesn’t mean your child can’t get help in the meantime, while you’re waiting for a diagnosis.

Every state has early intervention programs for ages 0 to 3 that can connect families with resources and therapies. Regulations differ, so check your state’s health department. If your child’s healthcare provider suspects autism, your child may be exhibiting some delays or behaviors that can be treated even without a diagnosis. For example, children can receive speech therapy for a speech delay or can receive occupational therapy for sensory processing challenges. State early intervention programs can provide these services to families based on specific deficits, even if the diagnosis is not yet clear. 

The views represented herein are my own and should not be construed as medical advice. If you have a question and would like to speak to one of our providers, please schedule an appointment here.

Autism Mom and Contributing Writer for As You Are, a virtual clinic dramatically increasing access to early autism diagnostic services through the use of exclusively telehealth appointments

Louie,

Mr. Popular

You are the only kid I know who is the most popular kid in school even though you’ve never said a word.

Every time I bring you there, or pick you up, everyone we pass knows your name – whether they are students, staff, school bus drivers or even some parents.

I’ve never told them your name, and they don’t know mine.

That’s OK, I’m fine with being known only as “Louie’s Mom.”

You just went to summer camp for one day with your older brothers, and the same thing happened.

All of the counselors knew your name – but didn’t all know the names of your verbal brothers.

Your presence brings a smile to everyone’s faces when they see you.

Many of them feel compelled to tell me stories about your fleeting moments of progress.

Like the time you sat for more than five minutes on the carpet during circle time in class in second grade.

Or the time you kept your pullup dry in first grade.

Love Without Words

Your presence brings a smile to my face, too.

Every day you squeeze me with all your might and pull me as close to you as possible to tell me you love me without saying a word.

When you do say something, or do something on your own, the smile on my face couldn’t beam any brighter.

Like when you said “Good” spontaneously one day after I asked you how your day went.

Or the time you took your shorts out of my hands as I reached down to put them on you and you put them on yourself.

Or the time you used a fork to eat a whole meal with minimal hand-over-hand guidance from me or your father when you were 8 years old.

Drawing Strength

But beneath my smile is a lurking fear for your future that your father and I carry with us always.

You see, one day, we won’t be here to protect you, to guide you and to love you.

And nothing scares us more.

It is important that you know what a challenge you have ahead, when life forces you to be on your own, without us.

For now, we are drawing strength from those encounters we have at your school, or at camp or wherever you seem to go and everyone seems to know your name and smile when they see you.

You see, those moments when we see you stand out without us having done anything to make you stand out give us hope that you will always be the most popular guy no matter where you are.

That you will always stand out.

That your moments of independence will increase as time goes on.

And that you will always make others smile.

Even if you are never able to say a word.

Love always,

Louie’s Mom

Do you have questions about your child’s development? The team at As You Are provides useful autism screening and diagnostic evaluations for kids 16 months to 10 years old via telehealth appointments.

Disclaimer: I am not a medical professional. This is a sponsored blog post, but all opinions are my own.

Autism Mom and Contributing Writer for As You Are, a virtual clinic dramatically increasing access to early autism diagnostic services through the use of exclusively telehealth appointments

Old Habits 

“Finally a place where you never have to say I’m sorry.”

I read those words on March 12, 2022.

They were stenciled in red letters across a canary yellow wall inside a place called “We Rock the Spectrum,” where special needs kids and their typical peers can play together in a giant sensory-friendly room.

Think of those trampoline parks, and this place is like one of those – but instead of trampolines, there is every kind of occupational therapy-type of swing and jumping apparatus you could imagine.

The day I read those words, I was having a birthday party for my son, who has autism.

He was turning 8.

I realized in that moment I had been saying “I’m sorry,” a lot during the past eight years.

Every time we would go to the park in front of our house and he would run up to a little girl with long hair and pull it because he doesn’t know how to say hello.

Every time we would go to one of my neurotypical son’s soccer games and he would help himself to a stranger’s food or drink when I wasn’t looking for that one second because he doesn’t know about germs.

Every time he would hug, pinch or hit a stranger because he doesn’t know how else to get their attention.

Every time he would splash someone in a pool or jump extremely close to them because for him, water is life regardless of who is in it.

Every time he would get into food left out at someone else’s house because the only way he knows how to eat is with his hands and doesn’t know how to ask for it.

I could go on, but you get the picture.

Changing My Ways

When I read those words, I stood there frozen for a while as those moments flashed through my mind and I realized how often I had said those words.

I looked around.

None of the children I invited from his class came. Only his teachers and therapists and their neurotypical kids. It didn’t surprise me. The public school he attends only has four other kiddos in his class, and it is very likely they never got the invites to their parents. And, if they did, their parents had no way of getting them to the party as most of them work multiple jobs just to make ends meet. (That’s another topic for another blog.)

I saw Louie inappropriately trying to get onto a swing even though another child was already on it.

I saw him pull his babysitter’s beautiful long hair.

I saw him try to take a drink of his teacher’s water, and then her son’s juice box.

And I didn’t say it.

I didn’t say I was sorry.

What I Say Instead

It was truly a safe space, where everyone understood Louie wasn’t going to make the same choices as most kiddos his age do.

And for those few moments, it felt great not to say “I’m sorry” for whatever action he did.

I made a choice that day to stop apologizing for my son’s disability as my first reaction every time he does something different because of his autism.

Whether right or wrong, I now just tell people in those situations, my son has autism, and he’s pulling someone’s hair because he doesn’t know how to say hello.

I tell people my son is autistic after he tries to help himself to their food or drink because he doesn’t know about germs.

I tell people my son is autistic, and we are working on learning how to get someone’s attention by saying “Hi,” instead of pinching or hitting them. (His speech therapist loves this one because I then follow up by telling him not to hit or pinch and prompt him to say “Hi” as much as possible before an interaction takes place.)

I tell people he’s autistic, and he loves to splash and jump in the water because all he can think about is experiencing his favorite sensation regardless of who is in it or where they are.

I tell people he’s autistic, and he only knows how to eat with his hands so we might have a mess to clean up if there is food left out.

Saying my son has autism instead of saying “I’m sorry,” is how I have chosen to cope.

It might not be right for everyone.

I have a dear friend whose son is high-functioning autistic. She didn’t tell me for a year following his diagnosis because she said she couldn’t even bring herself to say the word autism.

But for me, this is where I’m at in this journey.

And, I’m not sorry.

Do you have questions about your child’s development? The team at As You Are provides useful autism screening and diagnostic evaluations for kids 16 months to 10 years old via telehealth appointments.

Disclaimer: I am not a medical professional. This is a sponsored blog post, but all opinions are my own.

Autism Mom and Contributing Writer for As You Are

Birth Day 

In March 2014, my son arrived 11 days before predicted.

I never heard him cry in the operating room where I delivered him via a cesarean section.

Even though I had a normal pregnancy, passed every ultrasound test, every genetic test and this baby was spontaneous and not a fertility miracle, I knew something was wrong.

Our autism diagnosis wouldn’t come for years but a genetic disorder that is so rare, it doesn’t even have a name, was detected within his first few months of his life.

My mother gave me a small plaque when all of this was going on. My husband put it on a shelf in our bedroom. I was in such a fog during those early days, I didn’t even notice it until one afternoon while I was sitting in my room with my newborn in my arms, sobbing while he slept peacefully.

It read, “You never know how strong you are, until being strong is the only choice you have.”

My tears stopped momentarily as I realized how true that statement is.

And it’s something my son has taught me.

Present Day

No, his life and our lives didn’t turn out the way I had always envisioned it.

And every day is a challenge to accept that knowing there is not a damn thing we can do about it.

But my son has taught me how to truly be present. How to stay present. And how important that is.

How to rejoice and feel like I’m on top of the world when his babysitter texts me to say he identified two animals at the zoo on his Assisted Communication Device. (It’s an iPad with an app that lets him touch pictures of words and images of those words that he wants to say.)

How to feel true joy when he spontaneously says “Hi,” to me when I walk into a room.

How to be patient when he has thrown his food off the table for the tenth time.

How to channel my motherly instincts and figure out what is bothering him when no one else can.

Those are the moments we have to celebrate.

Future Days

No, we’re not going to take pictures of him holding the millionth soccer trophy he won like we do with our neurotypical sons. No, we’re not going to celebrate his grades by taking him to his favorite toy store and letting him get a reward. No, we’re never going to celebrate the same milestones that we do and expect to do with our other children.

And those fears of staring too long, saying the wrong thing, doing the wrong thing start to creep in even when I’m around my own son or others like him.

And, some days, those tears return.

But he has taught me not to let those fears get in the way of living in the moment.

He’s taught me he has milestones.

He has moments.

And, in order to enjoy them, I can’t be afraid to be his mom because I might do something wrong.

I have to be present.  

I can’t miss those moments.

It’s the choice he has taught me I have. 

Disclaimer: I am not a medical professional. This is a sponsored blog post, but all opinions are my own.

Autism Mom and Contributing Writer for As You Are, a virtual clinic dramatically increasing access to early autism diagnostic services through the use of exclusively telehealth appointments

Becoming Big Brothers

When my little Louie was born, I was already the mother of 3-year-old twin boys.

We didn’t find out the gender of our twins, so we decided to do something different with our second pregnancy and find out the gender before the birth.

My twins were ecstatic about learning they were going to have a little brother.

Almost all of their friends at the time had little brothers, who were adorable babbling little babies.

We were excited for them to become big brothers – something we actually didn’t think was possible due to fertility challenges.

Fast forward to six years later, when Louie got diagnosed with mild to severe autism, his big brothers and their lives came into my mind.

Looking Out for their Little Brother with Autism

Sure everyone says big brothers always have to look out for their younger siblings, but when you have a child with special needs, that takes on a whole new meaning for their siblings.

It means their lives as they know them now and for the future are forever altered.

I thought about how the diagnosis meant our older boys were going to grow up with parents facing a challenge they never thought they would encounter – let alone even know how to handle.

I worried that our stress and worry would make us less capable of parenting them as well as they deserved.

I thought about how they would get a younger sibling, who wouldn’t be like the other little brothers they knew.

And I thought about how they would not experience some things, like traveling or going many places, because things like that are challenging for a kiddo with autism and their parents.

My husband and I have tried really hard to hide the fact that we don’t do some things because of Louie, afraid that his brothers would grow to resent him.

Despite our efforts, they know.

And thankfully, they don’t resent him.

Instead, they’ve learned how helping someone with special needs can help an entire family.

Having the Whole Family Pitch In Supporting a Child with Autism

Now that they’re 11 and Louie is 8, they’ve been taking turns every week getting him ready for school in the morning. That includes changing his diaper, getting him dressed and getting his breakfast ready, all so that my husband and I can get ready for work without having to wake up earlier to get Louie ready.

They’ve learned how helping their little brother helps him learn to become a little more independent each day, by practicing how to put on his clothes and eat with utensils.

The slow progress their little brother makes each day also teaches them patience.

More than anything, their awareness that people are made differently makes me the most proud.

I’ve heard on numerous occasions through other parents how one or both of them have stepped in during a bullying situation to stick up for the victim, and scold the person doing the bullying.

I’ve heard about how they’ve helped one of their peers, or another special needs child, learn how to play soccer or basketball or even just learn to throw a ball if that’s where they’re at.

Yes, this autism experience has forever altered the paths my husband and I had hoped their lives would take.

And we are much more stressed parents to them than we ever wanted to be.

But so far, their resilience has left me speechless at times and extremely hopeful for their future. 

Do you have questions about your child’s development? The team at As You Are provides useful autism screening and diagnostic evaluations for kids 16 months to 10 years old via telehealth appointments.

Disclaimer: I am not a medical professional. This is a sponsored blog post, but all opinions are my own.

Autism Mom and Contributing Writer for As You Are, a virtual clinic dramatically increasing access to early autism diagnostic services through the use of exclusively telehealth appointments

Inspecting New Places

My little Louie loves to put his face under water.

Any kind of water – no matter where it is.

A puddle. A toilet. A sink. A tub that’s not his. (He knows how to turn on faucets of just about any kind. Yay for all that occupational therapy for his fine motor skills!)

One of the first things my husband and I do if we ever go to a new place or friend’s house is look for the bathrooms and try to see if we can close their doors or lock them.

Pools are, of course, his holy grail.

His fatal attraction to water is one of the dead giveaways to typical children around him that he is different.

Otherwise, he looks like any kid.

A kid who should answer you when you say hello.

Or know what you’re asking when you tell him you want to play.

Or know how to tell you his name when you ask him.

His autism isn’t immediately obvious in a visual sense.

There are no obvious deformities – no physical challenges or aides like a wheelchair or a feeding tube that make the fact that he has a disability recognizable.

That’s why when he goes for water – no matter where it is – I know I’m going to have to explain it to the children around him.

Making Introductions 

The words have come much easier than I thought they would.

When he was first diagnosed, thinking about how I would explain him to the rest of the world was just one of so many stressors. 

At a friend’s pool party recently, Louie was doing his thing with the water he loves so much.

Laying on the concrete edges of the inground pool, stretching his body as far out across the water as his little arms would let him, dunking his face in the water and coming up with a big mouthful of pool water.

Sometimes he spits it out.

Sometimes he doesn’t.

Then, should he find a puddle of pool water along the concrete edges of a pool, he loves to put his face in that, too.

The plastic lids to pool filters are irresistible.

Putting his face on them while hitting them like a drum is one of Louie’s favorite pastimes.

I watched, as I always do, as the typical children around him started noticing his odd behavior at the pool party we went to for our older children’s soccer team.

It unfolded much like group situations with typical kids who don’t know Louie always do.

They tried talking to him. Then, they talked to each other. Then, they started pointing at him. Some looked concerned. Some laughed. Most were confused. 

Louie was oblivious to it all.

I let it play out long enough for Louie to have an audience, so I could explain him to as many of the little ones as possible – and only have to do it once.

I always start by introducing him, because he can’t introduce himself.

“Hey guys, this is Louie. I just want you to know that he doesn’t know how to talk yet and he does a lot of things differently than anyone you might know that is your age.”

“Why?” one of them asked.

It’s a question I’ve been asking myself ever since he was born. 

But for now, all I can tell them is our very simple truth. 

“Well, because he was born this way. We don’t know why. All we can do is love him the way he is. I just want you to know he understands what you’re saying to him, but he just can’t talk back to you. He likes to play, too, but just not play directly with you. He likes to play alongside you or near you. And if he grabs you, it’s only because he wants your attention and just doesn’t know how to get it.”

The reaction from another one of them was typical: “Ok, cool.”

Using Words Kids Understand

I returned to my perch, a safe distance away.

Far enough to watch, but not hover.

The group of enlightened little ones slowly dispersed. 

Some kids were no longer entertained, because they now had an understanding that what they were seeing was, in fact, someone who was different. 

Some kids stayed around, trying to talk to Louie and slowly losing interest. 

One little guy stuck with him. Going underwater with his goggles to watch Louie dunk his face beneath the silence of the pool water.

I don’t really use the word autism to explain his condition to children. I feel like explaining how he acts differently is what kids need to know.

The word autism doesn’t really mean much to adults, let alone children. 

Still, it is the word I use when it comes to explaining him to adults. 

Even if they don’t know what it really means, they know it means he’s different.

And that’s why he just helped himself to a perfect stranger’s drink.

Hugged someone he never met for no reason.

Pinched a random person to get their attention.

Ran his hand across as many products on the shelves of a grocery store aisle that he can if it’s not big enough for us to walk the cart down the middle.

Or why he just dunked his head in someone’s toilet, just to experience his favorite feeling in the world – water on his face.

Do you have questions about your child’s development? The team at As You Are provides useful autism screening and diagnostic evaluations for kids 16 months to 10 years old via telehealth appointments.

Disclaimer: I am not a medical professional. This is a sponsored blog post, but all opinions are my own.

Autism Mom and Contributing Writer for As You Are, a virtual clinic dramatically increasing access to early autism diagnostic services through the use of exclusively telehealth appointments

When it was our turn to have our son evaluated for an autism diagnosis, the pandemic had just begun. Doctors’ offices were canceling appointments left and right. We were holding our breath that the appointment we had waited months to get for an evaluation would end up getting postponed. 

More months would pass. Access to autism services would pass. The potential for progress would pass. Then, the pediatrician asked if we could do the appointment virtually. We jumped at the chance, eager to have the appointment rather than continue the wait for an evaluation. Admittedly though, we were a bit concerned that our son would not have a traditional evaluation. 

What if she missed one of his behaviors because it was off-screen? What if she didn’t hear him? Or see everything he was doing? Instead, it turned out to be one of the better experiences we’ve had. The doctor that day got the best view of our son than any other doctor, therapist or evaluator who has ever worked with him. And here are a few reasons why:

1. Natural environment  

One of the biggest advantages of the virtual appointment was the doctor got to observe our son in his natural environment. At home – the space where he is most comfortable and most likely to be himself. There were no new humans to awkwardly interact with and cause him to lose focus on displaying his typical behaviors. No new sterile space to react to. No new and unfamiliar sounds, smells or sights to process.

The session allowed the doctor to actually see our son and not just get to know him through the words we use to describe him. We realized after the experience how much it meant for her to really not interact with our son or us much and just strictly observe him try to do the tasks she asked with the objects he is used to using.

When she wanted him to try to color, we gave him the markers he is used to at home – not a new set of markers in an unfamiliar place that he would likely spend his time examining or throwing because he didn’t like them. She got to see how he ate and reacted to certain textures we gave him at the table where he is used to eating, not at a table where he’s never sat. Taking an autistic child like our son out of their natural environment alters their behavior significantly, so we felt confident this doctor actually got to know him in order to make a very educated diagnosis even though we feared it wouldn’t.

2. One less hassle

Every time I take our son to a doctor’s appointment, and my husband can’t go, my level of anxiety rises. The hassle begins with interrupting my son’s typical daily routine. Getting him into the car and going somewhere he is not expecting – a task that can be overwhelming for autistic children who thrive on structure and routine.

Then comes the front desks, getting visitor passes, checking in – all are experiences that for typical children and their families aren’t even considered as part of the journey to a doctor’s appointment. For me, it can be a lot. The entire time I’m worried my son is going to bolt from me as I’m struggling to sign the seemingly 1,000 pages of permission slips, insurance forms, getting name tags that he will fight me to wear, getting our temperatures taken, being asked to make him wear a mask he won’t wear and then having to explain why to usually unsympathetic ears.

Then, there’s the wait in the waiting room, where my son will inevitably want to explore and do something inappropriate while I’m still trying to fill out all those forms. Then, there’s the wait inside the exam room where there’s absolutely nothing to do to keep an autistic mind calm. Then, there’s the meeting with the doctor, which is also stressful because I’m so focused on my son and what he is doing – or not doing – that I can easily miss what the doctor is telling me, especially if my son is crying or trying to get out of the room. Virtual appointments eliminate all of that stress. This is kind of similar to the first point in that taking an autistic child out of their natural environment or typical schedule can be a huge undertaking for some families. Any disruption to routine and familiar places is much too overwhelming for some kiddos, and, in turn, their parents. The level of anxiety for the caregivers of autistic children rises with every trip outside the norm, and doctor’s offices and appointments can be among some of the dreaded outings. Eliminating that from the equation can lead to better outcomes and care.

3. Different opinions

Anytime I can tell a doctor about my son, I do. I have wanted as many medical opinions about him as possible, from as many specialists who have seen kiddos like him. All I really know is him. And before him, I didn’t know anyone like him.

Having the ability to get opinions from doctors and experts across the country who know other kiddos like him is an incredible opportunity for families with autistic children, and you don’t have to take them across the country or even leave the comfort of your home to do it.

4. Accessibility

I often wonder about how families who have less access to resources due to socioeconomic status make it with their autistic children. How does someone who doesn’t have access to transportation make it to a doctor’s appointment? How does someone who works multiple low paying jobs take time off work to take their child to an appointment? I believe virtual appointments will help bridge this gap for lower income families, when they can meet with doctors simply by having a virtual conversation with them using cellphones. It will eliminate the transportation issue and offer flexibility with work schedules. The same can be said for financially stable families. Eliminating the need to take time off from work, get your child out of school or daycare for an appointment is a great advantage, especially for so many of those who now work from home permanently.

5. Availability

Not getting to see and ride his big yellow school bus every morning is a real challenge for our son. If ever I have to drive him to school, he clings to me for dear life even though he knows he will come home in just a few hours and see all of us again. When the school bus comes, however, he’s running out the door.

He can’t wait to see it. It’s one of those many little nuances of his day that throws everything off if he can’t experience it as expected. On days where we have doctor’s appointments, our son doesn’t get to ride his bus. That’s because we have found convenient appointment times are another hurdle to caring for our son. We’ve learned to make our appointments as early as possible because doctors are usually not running behind at the beginning of the day versus the afternoons or lunchtimes.

Again, that means a pretty major disruption to what our son is used to. With virtual appointments, families like ours can schedule appointments when it’s most convenient for us and for the doctors.

Do you have questions about your child’s development? The team at As You Are provides useful autism screening and diagnostic evaluations for kids 16 months to 10 years old via telehealth appointments.

Disclaimer: I am not a medical professional. This is a sponsored blog post, but all opinions are my own.