BorkWeb https://borkweb.com/ Some People Are Squirrel Handed. Sun, 22 Feb 2026 22:34:19 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=6.9.4 A quiet honor https://borkweb.com/story/a-quiet-honor/ Tue, 12 Nov 2024 04:03:00 +0000 https://borkweb.com/?p=1180 A Veterans Day poem They leave without fanfare,packing pieces of themselves in duffel bags,donning courage like an old coat,that few could wear as well as them. Faded memories of home,are carried in their heartsover the land and the sea,        through heat and the cold,        through the thunderous cacophony of […]

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A Veterans Day poem

They leave without fanfare,
packing pieces of themselves in duffel bags,
donning courage like an old coat,
that few could wear as well as them.

Faded memories of home,
are carried in their hearts
over the land and the sea,
        through heat and the cold,
        through the thunderous cacophony of war,
and the silence that follows.

Who can say what leads them to raise their hand,
and place our country on their sleeve—
but they do so proudly,
        and risk so much,
        and sacrifice so greatly,
for the hope and lives of people they have never met.

When they finally return to their neighborhoods,
the lives around them uninterrupted,
they carry their battles within—
stories etched beneath their skin,
        some shared,
        some kept hidden,
all of them honored.

Today, we stand, grateful and humble,
to remember them as they were and as they are,
to hold their legacy in our hearts,
        to feel, for a moment,
        the weight of what they have given,
and what they will always carry.

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Parents https://borkweb.com/story/parents/ Mon, 11 Nov 2024 17:49:05 +0000 https://borkweb.com/?p=1118 i know more than they think i doand i dont need their adviceif only my parents would listenand just leave me alone for a second        or a day or a week they are busy doing adult thingslike paying the bills and doing my laundrybuying my food and telling me i have to […]

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i know more than they think i do
and i dont need their advice
if only my parents would listen
and just leave me alone for a second
        or a day or a week

they are busy doing adult things
like paying the bills and doing my laundry
buying my food and telling me i have to shower
like no shit i know i need to
        i just dont want to

i know they care about me
and want to spend time with me
but they are weird and old and besides
there will be time tomorrow
        life is long and mine just started

i hope they are still alive when im ready

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At the doctor’s office https://borkweb.com/story/at-the-doctors-office/ Fri, 12 Jan 2024 18:51:00 +0000 https://borkweb.com/?p=1157 You think you’re a parent        But you slink to the side.While your child is wailing,        You just want to hide. Real parents get happy,        And filled up with mirth,Every time that there’s tears        From the kid after birth. It should recharge your strength,  […]

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You think you’re a parent
        But you slink to the side.
While your child is wailing,
        You just want to hide.

Real parents get happy,
        And filled up with mirth,
Every time that there’s tears
        From the kid after birth.

It should recharge your strength,
        When their eyes become wetter,
You should laugh when they cry,
        I bet you’ll feel better.

When needles get prickly,
        You should giggle with glee
Lest I’m bad at advice,
        Then don’t listen to me!

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Puzzling https://borkweb.com/story/puzzling/ Thu, 12 Oct 2023 17:00:00 +0000 https://borkweb.com/?p=1128 An upended box of pleasure        spills its dusty,        colorful chaos        on the table Hands desperately fight        for order,        flipping fragments        to expose their faces The fervent rush        to define the edge        […]

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An upended box of pleasure
        spills its dusty,
        colorful chaos
        on the table

Hands desperately fight
        for order,
        flipping fragments
        to expose their faces

The fervent rush
        to define the edge
        is in stark contrast
        to the relaxed calm that follows

Of reconstructing,
        in focused sections,
        somebody else’s picture
        as your own

The final piece
        sparks joy
        and satisfaction
        as it settles in its place

And then it’s over.
        Back to chaos.

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Code is poetry – fully qualified class names are not https://borkweb.com/story/code-is-poetry-fully-qualified-class-names-are-not/ Wed, 19 Jul 2023 17:38:00 +0000 https://borkweb.com/?p=1140 The post Code is poetry – fully qualified class names are not appeared first on BorkWeb.

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<?php namespace Is\Something\To; use Cause\It\Plays\A\Particular\Role;


/**
 * And if code is a poem, then you better believe,
 * that tidy is good for the soul.
 */
class NamesThatAreLong extends \All\Our\Typing {
  /**
   * And if you don't stop for a bit,
   * A pause to rethink what you place between quotes, A
   * @var string that's full-qualified's shit.
   */
  private $dreams = 'about slashes are fine in your head';
 
  /**
   * And you may wish to spit them all out,
   * But they're a
   */
  const ANT_REMINDER = 'to others, you see - that your';


  protected function castsDoubt() {
    if ( 'you like to type slashes' == $this->dreams ) {
      // That you have - is a challenge - I'm not going to lie,
      return ', if you will,';
    }


    $to_another_location = $and_type_all_of_them_up_there or die;
  }
}

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Poem for Maddie’s 8th grade graduation https://borkweb.com/story/poem-for-maddies-8th-grade-graduation/ Thu, 15 Jun 2023 18:01:00 +0000 https://borkweb.com/?p=1169 Maddie’s slightly salty,        Leaving PES behind,        It’s all she’s known,        And frankly,        It’s living rent-free in her mind. Dad and mom remind her,        That she isn’t throwing shade,        Upon her youth,        As she advances,  […]

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Maddie’s slightly salty,
        Leaving PES behind,
        It’s all she’s known,
        And frankly,
        It’s living rent-free in her mind.

Dad and mom remind her,
        That she isn’t throwing shade,
        Upon her youth,
        As she advances,
        To a higher grade.

Just don’t be super extra,
        As you start to find your way,
        ‘Cause you gotta,
        Pass the vibe check,
        Or you’ll get dragged every day.

Slaps are not the answer,
        Nor are kicks, for sure, no cap,
        To readjust,
        Your mindset,
        What you need is a school map

Hard work is also needed,
        ONG you’ll learn stuff as you go
        So, don’t sleep upon,
        This moment,
        W Goat. iykyk.

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No tables https://borkweb.com/story/no-tables/ Thu, 23 Feb 2023 18:50:00 +0000 https://borkweb.com/?p=1155 James dislikes tables:“They belong in the clink!To hell with the sofa!Fuck off with the sink!” “This bed is just shit,And so is my ladder,I hate all carpets,And lamps, for that matter.” “I don’t need my toilet,That flower pot’s lame,Send them to gitmo,And take this dumb frame!” His homestead’s exactly,The same as his code,No <table>s around,Because […]

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James dislikes tables:
“They belong in the clink!
To hell with the sofa!
Fuck off with the sink!”

“This bed is just shit,
And so is my ladder,
I hate all carpets,
And lamps, for that matter.”

“I don’t need my toilet,
That flower pot’s lame,
Send them to gitmo,
And take this dumb frame!”

His homestead’s exactly,
The same as his code,
No <table>s around,
Because he’s just not really into them and prefers to use cascading style sheets because they feel neat and tidy, especially when you use cool things like container queries.

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A dangerous longing https://borkweb.com/story/a-dangerous-longing/ Tue, 14 Feb 2023 18:03:00 +0000 https://borkweb.com/?p=1133 You invaded the tumultuousness of my mind,becoming a steadfast rock amidst the chaosthat describes my thoughts,breaking me so that all I could think about was you. I longed for your warmth.yearned to fall into the sweet serenity of contentment,with the taste of you filling my mouth,and your presence eradicating the emptiness I felt inside. As […]

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You invaded the tumultuousness of my mind,
becoming a steadfast rock amidst the chaos
that describes my thoughts,
breaking me so that all I could think about was you.

I longed for your warmth.
yearned to fall into the sweet serenity of contentment,
with the taste of you filling my mouth,
and your presence eradicating the emptiness I felt inside.

As if caught on the razor’s edge between dreams and reality,
my hand reached out to you…and you came to me,
invading my senses and leaving me weak to resist the urge of moving too fast,
but it was too fast.

You burnt my tongue, you piece of shit pizza roll.

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James’ lament (on PHP) https://borkweb.com/story/james-lament-on-php/ Fri, 06 Jan 2023 18:47:00 +0000 https://borkweb.com/?p=1150 PHP 7 isn’t supported,Kinsta—through James—to #tec-dev, reported.“The old version’s gone—and though I sound whiney,8 is required. That timeline seems tiny.” The market is slow at adapting, it seems,Though time marches forward, it’s plugins and themes,That makes this all messy and feel sorta short,But, it’s right on schedule, I’m sad to report. See, PHP booted a […]

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PHP 7 isn’t supported,
Kinsta—through James—to #tec-dev, reported.
“The old version’s gone—and though I sound whiney,
8 is required. That timeline seems tiny.”

The market is slow at adapting, it seems,
Though time marches forward, it’s plugins and themes,
That makes this all messy and feel sorta short,
But, it’s right on schedule, I’m sad to report.

See, PHP booted a version each year,
Though 7 has died, you should quiver in fear,
And worry, and fret, and try to remember,
8 goes away at the end of November

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Not children https://borkweb.com/story/not-children/ Fri, 06 Jan 2023 17:51:00 +0000 https://borkweb.com/?p=1120 My children, who are rapidly becoming not-children,Are both growing in ways I could never imagine,But traveling paths that I predicted from the moment I wasConvinced that I would have kids of my own. They are products of their parents, which is a blessing and a curse.They are funny and kind, but insular and too smart […]

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My children, who are rapidly becoming not-children,
Are both growing in ways I could never imagine,
But traveling paths that I predicted from the moment I was
Convinced that I would have kids of my own.

They are products of their parents, which is a blessing and a curse.
They are funny and kind, but insular and too smart for the world,
School is a struggle, but gaming is not,
and god-forbid if you tell them they can’t have a muffin.

When their laughter fills the house,
My heart fills up faster,
And I savor every moment that they say “Yes daddy, I’d like to,”
When I ask them to do whatever I think might grab their interest.

Sometimes our dance parties last long enough,
To earn side-eyed glances from their mother,
But the giggles are worth it and their goofy antics and sarcasm show that my DNA runs deep–
But hopefully not so deep to include the broken parts.

I’ll treasure these moments while I have them,
Because kids are like dandelions and grow overnight,
And in the blink of an eye, they will be swept up by the wind,
Into the world that they hide from in their rooms with the lights off.

Sometimes I get lost in my head worrying that they aren’t prepared to leave home,
When they don’t know what a butter knife is or understand how to hold a broom,
But those thoughts bleed away when I sit on their beds, and annoyingly ask them about things,
Just to hear their thoughts and opinions.

And I am reminded that my children are rapidly becoming not-children.

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