Welcome back to our interview series A Tryst About Town, where we ask a provider to take us through their favourite spots in their home city. Today we're joined by Philadelphia Domme Freshie Juice to show us around her home town!

What makes Philly special to you?

I have a love-hate relationship with Philadelphia. It gets all 4 seasons, it has great public transit and is close to other major cities on the east coast. The working class energy of the city creates an atmosphere of comradery and grit. However there’s a “you approach me with clenched fists and I’ll meet you with bared teeth” energy to Philadelphians that one shouldn’t play with. 

What’s your favorite memory associated with living here?

Sadly, it was probably right before the pandemic. I had a lot of friends, I was traveling a lot, and I had a lot of community. However, my favorite thing about Philadelphia is how close is it to so many major cities, giving you the ability to go to so many places and have a large network of friends and co-workers. Time changes a lot of things and covid certainly changed things. 

Where can you find the best cup of coffee in town?

My go to for a solid cup of coffee is La Colombe, they have locations around the city and are consistently good. Philadelphia is a big coffee city and there’s a million small owned coffee shops to patronize as well, if La Colombe is bigger than your tastes.

Can you recommend a great place for a drink after a session?

If I’m downtown I love to go to Bar Bombon for drinks, or head to Bok Bar for a roof top view of Philly. It really depends on the energy we’re going for. I tend to look for a nice view or nice drinks when choosing a bar but I’m not a big drinker to be honest.

Tell us about an restaurant that you love.

My favorite place to take people after a session or shoot is Louie Louie. The interior is lovely and I like that each dining area in the restaurant is a different style. It’s nice but casual enough that we can walk in with that post session glow, and it has a menu that is both delicious and accommodating to most diets/palettes. Anyone who knows me knows that I love Japan, if you want to impress me, take me to Morimoto – or take me to Japan!

Can you recommend a great museum?

Philadelphia’s Museum of Fine Art is great and many people come for the Mutter, which is a medical/surgical oddities museum, but I also recommend people go to the Wagner Free Institute. It’s small but it features Victorian taxidermy from the turn of the century, which includes some specimens that it would no longer be ethical to get or that don’t exist at all anymore. It’s interesting to be able to see it up close and see how much taxidermy has advanced. Sometimes they allow visitors in the lecture halls for special exhibits. This is also a great place for artists to come and practice references.

What’s the best fetish store in Philadelphia?

Passional on South Street carries a ton of stuff. From full latex, to rope, to massive toys, to puppy play. You think it, they probably have it. They’ve been around for decades and a staple within the Philadelphia kink/fetish community. 

What’s your recommended hotel for people who are visiting?

There’s a ton of great hotels in the downtown/Rittenhouse area, which is where I would recommend anyone visiting Philly to stay. You’ll be close to the museums, major shopping, and public transit. My choice of hotel? I love the W. It has some pretty epic views looking down at City Hall, and the rooms are very comfortable. The Notary and The Kimpton Palomar are also very nice hotels with spacious rooms, some even offering a sauna bathroom with hot tubs and downtown views.

Where could a client take you on a wild shopping spree?

I would love a client to take me to Passional to pick out some new toys and latex. Then I would want to go to Boyd’s to pick up a pair of Louboutins, then maybe across the street to Joan Shepps for something audacious. While I like fetish toys and designer clothes, I also love to cook. I would love a client to take me shopping for fine cutlery and dishware. I’ve been slowly upgrading my cooking ware over the years. The fastest way to my heart is through my stomach.

What’s your perfect Philly day out?

My perfect day in Philly would begin with making a french press coffee and starting the day with my cats. Afterwards I would go to one of the local cemeteries to enjoy the fall foliage. I would stop by my dungeon and dominate a man. After, I’d head into the setting afternoon sun and get lunch and a dozen raw oysters. With day turning into the night, although I’m not a big drinker, I do love a good cock…tail. I’ll slide into a speakeasy in Chinatown for a nightcap before I head home.

Are you a sex worker or client with tips or experiences to share? We'd love to hear from you!

The Good Client Guide destigmatizes sex work while providing guidance on how to be a better client and ally. Better experiences for workers mean better experiences for clients! To make this happen, we’re welcoming submissions from both providers and their customers.

Welcome back to our interview series A Tryst About Town, where we ask a provider to take us through their favourite spots in their home city. Today we're joined by New York BDSM Provider Empress Wu to take us around The Big Apple!

What makes this town special to you?

The city is just so… alive! It’s vibrant and multifaceted. There is always something new to discover, and there’s something so beautiful in watching people have that experience collectively. New York is a cruel Mistress but I wouldn’t live anywhere else. 

Tell us about a place you love to eat at to fuel up for session.

I need something light beforehand and something hearty after! Current faves are: Genesis House (gorgeous ambiance) and Cote (some of the best meat I’ve ever tried in NYC), but honestly there’s something so satisfying about stopping by a no-name spot and scarfing down a huge cheeseburger or halal food on the way home. 

Currently on my list to try: Jean’s (which I’ve heard turns into a club) and Yingtao! Can you tell how much I love Asian food? 

For the intrepid newcomer, what’s the best gateway into kink in NY?

Great question! I would say the easiest way to get into kink is to attend kinky events! Kink can be a solo practice but NYC has a thriving and historied community that is incredibly welcoming to respectful newbies. I’m biased, but Kink Out Events throws some awesome parties that often feature icons of the NYC scene doling out mini sessions in public. Follow people on socials who seem to be living the kinky life of your dreams and see if they ever are hosting or performing at parties or events. And you never have to participate on the first visit if you’re nervous; it is always okay to watch from a respectful distance.

If being out and about feels too much like jumping into the deep end of public play, I would recommend hiring a BDSM professional you admire.

Who throws the best kink parties?

The best kink parties are the ones thrown privately ;)

Where can we hire a playspace?

I have my own playspace in east brooklyn, so I don’t often rent anymore, but I believe Hit Me Up NYC is open for rentals! The facilities are huge (2 floors) and they have a variety of rooms for different ~vibes~.

Can you recommend a quiet place to have drinks after a session?

I am not a drinker, but I do *love* afternoon tea. I recently visited Lady Mendl’s and had a lovely time – it is a gorgeous space and the teas they have are fragrant and delicious. I would love to try the high tea at the Baccarat hotel.

What’s the best sex/fetish shop?

Purple Passion BY FAR. Run and staffed by incredibly kinky people who are incredibly knowledgeable. They sell leather, latex, kink toys, sex toys, and even have an entire bottom floor for shoes alone.

What’s your recommended hotel for people who are visiting?

I was really wowed by the Chelsea Hotel and would absolutely recommend it to out of towners – I’ve certainly stayed during a staycation or two. The hotel was built in the 1880s and used to be a housing co-op. Throughout the decades it has housed artists and cultural icons like Patti Smith, Robert Mapplethorpe, William S Bourroughs, and so on. They’ve updated it since the old days, so the rooms feel as luxurious as a swanky boutique hotel, but you can still feel the rich history of the building and everyone who has run through it. Sure you can visit New York and stay at a Holiday Inn or an Airbnb or even a boutique hotel, but the Hotel Chelsea is just *so* New York. 

What’s your perfect New York day out?

I’m daydreaming about that period of time when New York transitions from spring to summer.

Coffee. Saturday morning farmers market at Fort Greene Park. Read for an hour in the park. Take a train into Chinatown for lunch and just start meandering generally north. Nolita first – all of my favorite perfume shops are on Elizabeth street – grabbing samples of my favorite perfumes at Le Labo, Malin and Goetz, and Scent Bar. Perhaps East Village for snacks along St Marks or West Village for massages at my favorite massage joint (Shun Fa relaxation center). Union Square farmers market and Sephora shopping across the street. Pedicures at Golden Tree spa. Detour to Purple Passion for some vigorous fetish shopping. Follow Broadway up to Koreatown and grab some bubble tea and some snacks. Take a rest at the New York Public Library in Bryant Park. Take the train back to Brooklyn for dinner then dessert with friends in Prospect Heights. End the night in endless laughter.

Are you a sex worker or client with tips or experiences to share? We'd love to hear from you!

The Good Client Guide destigmatizes sex work while providing guidance on how to be a better client and ally. Better experiences for workers mean better experiences for clients! To make this happen, we’re welcoming submissions from both providers and their customers.

On previous occasions I've mentioned that the first step to be a good sub is knowing how to greet a Dom/me. This immediately lets us know if you're respectful and if you did your research before messaging us. This is important because even if many of us are willing to help you learn more or train you in the context of a session, there are things you should investigate before talking to a Dom/me to book a session – unless you're booking a BDSM introduction class, which is a service that I offer, but it's very different than a full session. Addressing me correctly is essential. I'm not your buddy so I don't wanna be treated as such. We can get along more closely with time and trust, but treating me without the proper respect is not gonna take you anywhere with me. Even if I'm not your Dom/me or Mistress yet, and I won't order you around, I will consider you more for a session if you address me correctly.

Be clear and honest

I want to know what you like, what you dislike, if you have any experience or not, what are you specifically looking for in a session, how you like to be treated, including things you're not sure about it, but want to explore. Do you have any health issues? What are your boundaries? Is any possible humiliation theme suitable for you? I want and need to know these and other things before doing a session and I need the sub to be honest about it so we can create a dynamic that is fun and comfortable for both of us. I also need to know if our boundaries and favorite practices are compatible. Don't feel afraid to be honest about kinks, health issues or anything, as long as my boundaries are respected I'm not gonna judge you. I've seen a lot and done a lot, so try to be as honest as possible, it's important for me and for the session.

STI safety

One of my hard boundaries in a session is no fluid contact. This is for my safety, the sub’s safety and also for the safety of my future clients, and it's not up for debate. I like when my subs are informed and on the same page about this with me. It is important because it can allow clients with chronic STIs, seropositive people, etc to session with me, without feeling the need to over explain, feel shame, or have any of us worry about transmission. Obviously different STIs can need different precautions. I try to take every necessary one and it's nice when subs do the same.

Tribute and don't bargain

I would dare to say that most sex workers have had clients or subs bargain their prices, which for me is very disrespectful, and it shows just how little they value our time and knowledge. We're not a sack of fruit at the street market you can get a deal for – and you probably don't even bargain for that, so you shouldn't do it with us. Pay the tribute and don't “negotiate” – it's more likely that you lose your chance to session than to get a “better” price. I know many of my subs save up to see me and I appreciate it because it shows their commitment and respect for my job – that they are willing to wait and save instead of asking me to lower my prices – and that makes me like them more.

Screening

I don't always demand a screening date because I know most of my clients aren't rich and paying for that and a session can be kinda hard on their pockets, but I highly prefer it in terms of safety. I always do a virtual screening and take a bit of time before starting the session to go over the details discussed, but talking in person is very different from doing it online. You can see more easily if there's Dom/me-sub chemistry and go deeper into kinks and boundaries, so ideally book a screening date!

Balanced contact

For me there's a middle ground of contact that I like to keep with my frequent subs. They will respect my personal time and not message me all day every day. I really dislike when people are too insistent with messages, but I also worry when they seem to disappear from the face of the earth. Ideally we'll keep contact from time to time, talk about future sessions, newly discovered boundaries or kinks, see how they're doing, and give each other feedback.

More effort!

This is an extra but I love it when subs want to randomly tribute or book a date just to see me and chat. I like getting along with subs in a way that there's still a bit of the D/s dynamic, but we can also talk in a more relaxed fashion if the trust has been built. Respecting me as a Dom/me without forgetting that I'm also a human is essential for a trusting D/s relationship, for me. Seeing an effort to do nice things for me is great. For example, in the past I've had subs get me something for my birthday, serve as drivers when I needed a ride, buy me vegan food or drinks, randomly tribute, buy me clothes, etc. None which were part of a paid session, just a demonstration of their devotion. This is not something I demand from subs but I really like when they do it because it shows consideration, commitment and fondness.

Are you a sex worker or client with tips or experiences to share? We'd love to hear from you!

The Good Client Guide destigmatizes sex work while providing guidance on how to be a better client and ally. Better experiences for workers mean better experiences for clients! To make this happen, we’re welcoming submissions from both providers and their customers.

Welcome back to our interview series A Tryst About Town, where we ask a provider to take us through their favourite spots in their home city. Today we're joined by Amsterdam's Mistress Koshka to take us around the city!

What makes Amsterdam special to you?
The spirit of the city. Amsterdam has a pretty radical past in terms of standing up to authority. It can be seen in things like the squatters in central Amsterdam in the 80s and in the streets of the Red Light District, which is an incredibly rich cultural hub. A comrade of mine is currently hosting an arts Matinée showcasing the creativity of Amsterdam based queer sex workers. This is to show the municipality we are creators of this rich cultural heritage, as The Red Light District is perpetually on the edge of being pushed out of town due to respectability politics. They are trying to sanitise the city but its roots are always, and will always be, radical.

What’s your favorite memory associated with living here?

Having lunch with my best friend and life partner in Nordelicht, an outdoor bohemian co-op cafe in Noord. It was the middle of the summer, we’d finally been reunited after many years apart and we sat and basked in the sun, watching the everchanging landscape of the IJ river.

Tell us about a restaurant that you love.

I won't lie, I am not very cultured with food, though an incredible recommendation I was given is Gebroeders Hartering. A small, intimate restaurant in Nieuwmarkt, run by two brothers, it offers a 5 course menu with modern twists on traditional Dutch and European Food. I’m autistic which means I have quite a restrictive diet and they accommodated this with pleasure. Things like this are what keeps me coming back.

Who throws the best kink parties?

Hands down, Fite Qlub! Their ethos is to serve the wide gender spectrum, minus cis men, as the creators believe cis men have been amply catered for, and often run, most legacy kink events.

A combination of social party with play spaces and performances from sex worker artists, the vibes are immaculate and me and my friends go to every event.

Is there a great place to hire a playspace?

This is a pain point for me. The Netherlands has extremely punitive sex work laws, one of which being anywhere hired by a sex worker must have a brothel licence. Because of this, we don't have any play spaces available for work or play, and coming from London which was extremely well served (I'm looking at you, Blue Door Dungeon!), it's been a real detriment to work and play.

What’s the best sex or fetish shop in town?

Again, such an easy answer, Mail Female! Queer, femme run, sex worker friendly, and stocked to the brim with quality products.

I especially enjoy the emphasis on queer sex in this store, with an array of straps, toys, and gender affirming tools for hot queer sex.

Can you recommend a great bar to have drinks at after a hot fetish session?

That would be Vrankrijk, your friendly, autonomous Anarchist bar on Spuistraat. My politics are very important to me and this bar never fails to throw me into conversation with fascinating and enlightening people whilst being welcoming to every section of society.

Where could a client take you on a wild shopping spree?

My time and my taste is never cheap. As much as I love local brands, I do also enjoy select well made designers such as PC Hooftstraat, the Bond Street of Amsterdam. It’s no fun shopping with a sub unless you do a very spicy wallet drain.

What’s your perfect Amsterdam day out?

Starting the day at Sauna Deco, a beautiful Art Deco fully nude sauna in central Amsterdam, doing a combination of 85°C sauna and 5°C plunge pool (I may have a little masochist streak alongside my Dominance!) I’d follow this with a typical lunch of apple and sugar pancakes somewhere local with my closest friends. Assuming we’re talking about summer (I am not a winter person), the afternoon would be spent hiring a boat to cruise the canals listening to a soundtrack of 90s Dancehall and bird spotting. I’d round off the evening with drinks with a special someone at The Flying Dutchman, then retire to the spa at the Van Der Valk with them to unwind before an evening of *adult activities* that would make a straight-laced Dutchie blush.

Are you a sex worker or client with tips or experiences to share? We'd love to hear from you!

The Good Client Guide destigmatizes sex work while providing guidance on how to be a better client and ally. Better experiences for workers mean better experiences for clients! To make this happen, we’re welcoming submissions from both providers and their customers.

Hurray! You’re on the path of hiring a professional to hold the non-judgemental container for you to explore your sexual self. It is a beautiful journey of self-discovery, with plenty of rabbit holes to go down. As you have spent the time to research the correct individual to connect with, amass the finances to make this fantasy come true, along with all the efforts and energy to prepare for such a momentous event, don’t ruin it by focusing on your release for pleasure! Savor the moment, be present, and enjoy the ride. Your professional knows what they are doing. Let them guide you the way they feel is best for the both of you. You’ve ejaculated multiple times before, so make this time different.

Ejaculation tunnel vision

Don’t become blinkered by focusing so hard on the destination that you miss all the fun detours along the way. When one constantly thinks about what is going to happen in the future, they are not present. It is difficult to connect with someone when they are not present. The connection is what will bring you to that elevated state. Also, why drive in a tunnel when you can see and feel the exhilarating ride and view of winding along the cliff’s edge?

Stamina: keep up with her, with edging

This unique experience isn’t a sprint, it's a marathon. And if you want to go the distance, you've got to train for it. Holding off on the grand finale helps you build up that sexual stamina. This is an experience you’ll want to last for. Trust me, the longer she can tease and toy with you, the more fun it’ll be for everyone!

Control that mind with edging

You’ve fallen prey to your Dom/me’s seductive powers. She controls you and it’s clear. Every word, every touch and you’re instantly throbbing as if nodding your head yes. Master your own physicality and the mentality to match it. You choose to be weak for her, but it takes strength to show this vulnerability. This kind of self-discipline will take you far, and it transfers outside of the dungeon/bedroom. You’ll be able to do anything you put your mind to and that right there is sexy.

Pinnacle of pleasure

In a world where everything is instant, it doesn’t quite ‘hit’ the same. Hold off on it, work hard for it. The sweet agony of delayed gratification – there's nothing quite like it. When you hold back, you're not just extending the pleasure, you're ramping it up to a whole new level. The longer you hold out, the more explosive the climax. Trust me, it's a crescendo that'll leave you breathless and begging for an encore. She is a seductress, but that doesn’t mean you can’t try to resist her powers.

Edging: sensational rewiring

Think of it as a rewire job for your pleasure circuitry. When you learn to hold back, you're rewiring your body's responses. You're turning your intimate encounters into a rollercoaster ride of sensations, with twists, turns, and loops that culminate in an earth-shattering crescendo. It's a sensory symphony, with her conducting. Let her strap you in with some bondage and enjoy the ride called edging.

Unleash the element of surprise

Holding back introduces an element of surprise that'll keep her on her toes. And let me tell you, that's the kind of challenge that is truly titillating. Variety is the spice of life. Your legs may be spread open, but you can also open the door to a world of surprises. New positions, new rhythms, new sensations – it's like unwrapping a present every time you get intimate.

A deeper connection to her through edging

Ejaculation isn't just a physical release; it's an emotional one too. When you take the time to truly please her and her desires, you're building a bridge of trust and intimacy. It's about more than just getting off; it's about connecting on a deeper level. Don't rush the journey – savor every moment being in her presence.

Confidence through edging: the ultimate aphrodisiac

Confidence is sexy and when you've got the power to control your own pleasure, it's like wearing a confidence cloak even though you’re naked and exposed. You crawl in knowing that you can withstand whatever she has in store for you, and let me tell you, that's a major turn-on.

Edging: the anxiety antidote

Performance anxiety, the fear of climaxing too soon, can be a real mood killer. But when you've mastered the art of holding back, that anxiety fades away. You're free to lose yourself in the moment, knowing you've got the skills to deliver whatever she wants.

Multiple orgasms?!

By mastering ejaculation control, you're opening the door to a world of pleasure. It's like a never-ending rollercoaster of ecstasy, with peaks that just keep coming. You can definitely have a full body trembling orgasm without ejaculating. Now, shoot for the moon and go for multiples!

It isn’t about denying yourself pleasure, on the contrary – you’re opening yourself up to exponentially greater pleasures. Step into the next level of sexual experiences, explore the depths of connection and make it more meaningful than just a release. Look at it as a form of devotion and dedication to your partner's pleasures via edging. This pivot in your sexual habits will change your life. Take the next steps and get closer to experiencing this with your provider. Want the author of this blog post to take you to the edge via a BDSM experience? You can reach out to Miss Mae Ling here.

Are you a sex worker or client with tips or experiences to share? We'd love to hear from you!

The Good Client Guide destigmatizes sex work while providing guidance on how to be a better client and ally. Better experiences for workers mean better experiences for clients! To make this happen, we’re welcoming submissions from both providers and their customers.

Author's Note: the information contained within is US centric.

The pandemic has not ended.

We are still in a pandemic. COVID has not ended. These are facts that must be understood before moving into how to keep ourselves and our communities safer. If you already are aware of this, feel free to skip this section

I’m not blaming you if you think that the pandemic is over; most people do. If you’re not paying enough attention, that is the message being put out. Some have called this an intentional disinformation campaign. On May 5, 2023 the World Health Organization (WHO) declared an official end of the public global health emergency. On May 11th, 2023, in the United States, the national emergency response to the pandemic ended.

The widespread perception is that the pandemic is over and COVID is not really a big deal. Media coverage has constantly been lacking and most people have stopped taking precautions. Biden has said countless times that the pandemic is over. 

However, January 2024 was the second biggest COVID surge in the US, with over 2 million million cases daily, according to estimates based on wastewater data. This came after the federal and statewide pandemic response ended. To put that number into perspective, it meant that 1 in 23 people were infectious at any given time.

In early September 2024, based on wastewater data, we were at an estimated 1.3 million daily cases. That means 1 in 35 people were infectious. Over one million people have died from COVID-19 in the US alone. Between 5% to 20% of people infected develop long COVID. Taking the best case scenario, in August 2024 alone, it is likely 1.8 million people in the US developed long COVID. If you think COVID just impacts people who are already sick, the unfortunate reality is that COVID is likely to make you one of those people. A cumulative 7 million people globally have died from COVID. 

Staying Safer

In the US, workers, especially those engaging in what is often a criminalized trade, have little protection against illness. Providers do not have paid sick leave or employer provided health insurance, so getting ill can result in a disastrous loss of income. Helping the workers you interact with avoid illness is a way of engaging in solidarity and is also crucial if you would like to continue to benefit from what those workers provide. 

So, how do you keep those around you safer, including your provider? I follow the “Swiss Cheese Model” of protection, which is the idea that every intervention we can take is imperfect, but when layered together, they will provide more success mitigating COVID. Let’s get into all the methods you can implement to reduce COVID risks for yourself and those around you.

Masks

In order to try and prevent spreading or contracting COVID, limiting the amount of unsafe contact you have is important. The best way to do that is through wearing high quality masks in any indoor space where other people are. My end goal with masking is that though it may be imperfect at times, any lessened exposure is safer. Wear a high quality mask in any instance that you can, such as at the grocery store, while spending time with friends, at work, at a concert, in an uber, etc.

Wearing a mask allows you to do plenty of activities with less risk! I personally avoid indoor gatherings that I cannot mask at, such as going to restaurants.

Many people also are not aware that N95s are the most effective masks. 

Surgical masks (the baggy blue ones) were recommended before it was understood that COVID is airborne, and they only really provide protection against droplets due to their lack of tight fit and poor filtration ability. Droplets are larger particles and are easier to contain than airborne viruses.

I understand that seeing your provider is an intimate experience that you may think will be more fully enjoyed without masking. That said, I think an experience where we are not at risk of seriously harming each other has even more potential to be enjoyed. If you are unwilling to mask during a booking, please mask during all other indoor or crowded occasions to lessen the chance of being infectious and practice the other methods I will explain below. 

It's also worth noting that multiple US states and cities have attempted to or have successfully passed mask bans, which would have a negative impact on public health. If you live in one of these states, please consider what actions you can take in response. 

Clean indoor air

Since COVID-19 is airborne, using portable air cleaners with HEPA filters is an effective protection measure to take. If you are booking an outcall, you can run multiple air purifiers in that space. During an incall, ask your provider about ventilation and if they are comfortable with you bringing a portable air purifier. If you are in the position to do so, you could consider buying your provider an air purifier.

The goal with air filtering is to lessen the amount of virus particles in the air, which will lessen the chance of inhalation. In addition to stand-alone air purifiers, you can improve your home’s ventilation. If your house has an HVAC system, use MERV13 or better filters. Here is a very detailed guide to improving COVID safety within your home. This guide is less detailed but easy to follow and understand. 

Other mitigation strategies

Following the Swiss Cheese Model, there are other mitigation strategies that many people aren't aware of. I want to be clear that these strategies alone are not going to prevent COVID, but when layered with other methods, can greatly reduce the risk of transmission.

CPC mouthwash is very affordable and has been shown to reduce COVID’s infectivity. Many common mouthwashes contain it. I use CPC mouthwash every time I return home. 

Iota-carrageenan nasal sprays have been shown to reduce the risk of COVID infection by up to 80% when exposed. There are other nasal sprays that are effective as well. Here’s a breakdown with more information.

Nasal irrigation is easy to do at home, affordable, and shown to reduce risk of COVID infection after exposure and reduce severity of symptoms if you do get COVID. Here’s a guide with more information about the benefits and simple to follow instructions. 

While not proven to be useful at preventing COVID, oral probiotics have been shown to reduce mortality and severity of symptoms in people who have COVID. 

Testing

At this point, at-home rapid tests don't actually provide much information about whether someone is actually negative for COVID. This may lead people to think testing is no longer accessible or an option.

Luckily, there are a few different molecular at-home COVID tests that have similar accuracy to PCR and give results in about 30 minutes. I've built the cost of these tests into my pricing so I can test before any unmasked interaction. They are also small and easy to transport. If you are seeing a provider, you can test before potentially exposing them. 

I initially purchased the Metrix reader and test kit. Tests are $25 USD after the initial purchase of the reader. This is generally the most affordable in the US. However, I’ve found that tests often are out of stock during surges.

I've now switched to the PlusLife reader and testing kits, which ships from the EU. The initial reader presents a more significant upfront investment but is made up for by the fact tests cost around $10 USD. I tend to purchase many tests at a time since the shipping takes a number of weeks. This test is also the most sensitive at-home molecular COVID test. Please keep in mind that the plug is designed for European outlets and you may need an adaptor.

Here's a post that breaks down different at-home test option accuracy. 

Communication

We are at a point where most people no longer communicate if they’re experiencing COVID-like symptoms, or even if they test positive. I urge you to help break that cycle so we can all make more informed decisions. Let your provider know when you last tested and the precautions that you take. Sharing information is a way to practice better consent with your provider. (Remember the CRISP model?)

If you know anyone who you want to talk to about COVID precautions, this is a great resource. 

Final thoughts

Providers are already often part of marginalized communities. COVID disproportionately impacts marginalized communities, such as BIPOC individuals. Being a good client means keeping the health and safety of your provider in mind and practicing COVID precautions can be one way to do that.

If you have dropped precautions and this article has convinced you to start again, thank you. I know it’s overwhelming and can sometimes feel hopeless. I, myself, occasionally feel overwhelmed by how difficult taking precautions can be when almost no one else is. It can feel incredibly isolating to take COVID precautions as most people around you pretend that things are normal. Seek out like minded people. Look for COVID safer events in your area. Find a local Mask Bloc. 

Resources:

The People’s CDC
COVID zine library
COVID Tips: How to Talk to Your Loved Ones About COVID
Let Them Eat Plague
Clean Air Club's COVID Positive Guide

The information in this article/on this website is for general information only. It should not be taken as constituting professional advice from the website owner - Tryst. Tryst does not provide medical advice and the information on this site is not intended as a substitute for professional medical advice. Please seek the advice of a qualified medical professional provider regarding any medical questions or concerns you have. Tryst is not liable for any issues caused, whether due to negligence or otherwise arising from the use of, or reliance on, the information provided directly or indirectly, by use of this website or article.

Are you a sex worker or client with tips or experiences to share? We'd love to hear from you!

The Good Client Guide destigmatizes sex work while providing guidance on how to be a better client and ally. Better experiences for workers mean better experiences for clients! To make this happen, we’re welcoming submissions from both providers and their customers.

Welcome back to our interview series A Tryst About Town, where we ask a provider to take us through their favourite spots in their home city. Today we're joined by New York FBSM Provider Delilah to take us around the Big Apple!

What makes New York special to you?

New York City is one of the most iconic and vibrant cities in the world. It was always my dream to live here, since a very early age. I can't really explain why. I remember seeing it on TV and telling myself, "someday I am going to be there".

There are many things I love about NYC, but the energy has to be my favorite. The city that never sleeps has an infectious energy, with endless options for entertainment, dining, and exploration.

What’s your favorite memory associated with living here?

I think it was my second or third year living in the city. I went to visit a friend in midtown in mid January. The weather was not so great but I didn't expect what was about to happen … We always have weather advisories about big storms that never happen, so it's not unlikely to get a snow storm advisory but it's never really a bad storm. On that particular night the storm was so bad that the city was completely covered with snow. We spent most of the night on his rooftop watching the snow falling and covering New York City. I think that was one of the most beautiful memories I have from the city. The next morning was a total disaster, but I definitely think it was worth it. 

What’s your recommended hotel for people who are planning to visit NYC? 

My favorite hotels are boutique hotels, and I really love Nine Orchard. I also love the service and the environment on The Edition, unmatched vibes of The Ritz-Carlton, and lastly – if you are looking for some Rock'n'Roll history, I would say the famous Chelsea Hotel. 

What is your ideal social date with a client?

I really love nice dinners and jazz bars, but a dream date would be an interactive play like “Sleep No More” followed by a Jazz bar and a night of fun and sexy games! 

Can you recommend a quiet place to have drinks with a provider?

I will start with PDT (Please Don't Tell), a swanky, hidden bar in the West Village with creative cocktails. This has to be my favorite NYC bar.

Secondly I will say The NoMad, a luxurious hotel bar with a hidden entrance and expertly crafted cocktails.

Can you recommend a great museum?

New York City is home to 83 museums and each one of them offers an unique perspective in art and culture. The Guggenheim is my favorite and definitely worth a visit. 

Where could a client take you on a wild shopping spree?

Easy! On fifth Avenue or Madison Avenue of course! Only the best of the best can be found there!

Are you a sex worker or client with tips or experiences to share? We'd love to hear from you!

The Good Client Guide destigmatizes sex work while providing guidance on how to be a better client and ally. Better experiences for workers mean better experiences for clients! To make this happen, we’re welcoming submissions from both providers and their customers.

Berlin is a fascinating city in many regards, but the BDSM scene is what makes it so special to me. The scene is massive! And it is accessible to international, English-speaking people, as well as locals. It is a great place to meet open-minded people with whom you can explore the many kinky parties, play spaces, and educational events that Berlin has to offer.

For the intrepid newcomer, what’s the best gateway into kinky Berlin?

I’d say start out by going to munches, which are gatherings of kinksters who meet in bars/cafes to mingle and get to know each other. It’s a relaxed atmosphere with people wearing normal, everyday clothes, so it is welcoming for people with no BDSM experience, or kinky folks who are new to Berlin. Otherwise, I suggest going to the various workshops and kinky parties that happen every week. Check out Fetlife for the most comprehensive listing of events.

Where would you recommend for a drink before a wild night?

This one is a non-kinky tip since BDSM and alcohol don’t mix well.

The Bell Boy Bar in Mitte is a charming 1920s themed speakeasy that sells craft cocktails. It sets the mood for an adventurous and whimsical night on the town. Just be aware that it is a bit hidden, so follow the rubber duckies.

Where can we find the best fetish clubs?

Of course, Berlin has a variety of fetish clubs! There are the big-name clubs like Kitkat and Berghain, which are hedonistic playgrounds for those who enjoy public sex, techno, and all the things associated with that. Expect to wait in line outside and possibly be turned away at the door if you are not wearing fetish clothes. Insomnia is one of my personal favorites because it has a well-equipped BDSM dungeon downstairs that is open during the kink-themed parties.

For the more active participant, who throws the best kink parties?

Klub Verboten is a party based in both Berlin and London that travels to different locations. You need to become a member beforehand or get vetted at the door, because they take the safety of their participants very seriously. This party has a chic vibe and feels like the gold standard for those who enjoy exploring the underground fetish/electronic music scene.

Personally, I prefer parties that are thrown by @Frau_leader. This powerhouse organizer is the mastermind behind the international munch, Kinktastish, and many more parties. The vibe at these parties is welcoming and vibrant, and of course, super kinky! A great place for beginners and those looking to find community.

Tell us about some amazing dungeons in Berlin?

Quälgeist is my absolute favorite space. It is the best-equipped and cleanest play space I have seen so far. It has 2 floors of BDSM furniture and play spaces as well as a bar/lounge area and smoking room. There is no dance floor or loud music, so it’s a great place to dive deep into your play sessions. Just keep in mind that most of the parties are geared towards the gay male community, but they do also have some events specifically for queer women/gender non-conforming folks and a couple events that are open to people of all genders and sexual orientations. They also offer free workshops that are organized and hosted by community members, so you can go there to enhance your BDSM knowledge.

Club Culture Houze is a good place for a low-key play date. It is decently equipped with BDSM furniture, has a bar space and several floors. They have consistent and regular events on weekdays, so you can get your kinky fix in between your weekend play parties here.

BDSM lounge seems like more of a locals-only spot, but they were always welcoming to me and my play partners. They’ve got a medical room, small playroom, and lounge/bar area.

Where can we hire a playspace?

Studio Lux is my favorite studio space. Their rooms are creatively themed and designed with an eye for kinky details. They also offer a lot of toys and thoughtful hygiene products for their renters to use. They have two different locations. I have also heard good things about the Fetish Institute, but I have yet to go there.

Is there a sexy hotel that is a particular favourite?

Provocateur Hotel Berlin is a sensual Boutique style hotel with a vintage vibe. The sexy lighting and red-velvet décor creates a decadent atmosphere for some sexy indulgence, but it is not specifically kinky. For a BDSM vibe, there are the SMapartments and the BDSM-loft to check out.

What’s the best sex/fetish shop?

There are a ton of fetish shops for gay men near the Nollendorfplatz U-bahn station, but my personal favorite sex shop is called Other Nature. Other Nature is a queer sex shop with a wonderful library of sexy and educational books in the back. McHurt has great quality, fairly priced BDSM gear, and Fernando’s is the sweet spot for leather boot and glove fetishists.

What’s your perfect kinky night out in Berlin?

As the kinky nerd that I am, I’d love to start the evening with a workshop at Quälgeist or Karada house (a rope-centered kink space for queer folks), then head out to one of @Frau_leader’s various parties for a night of play.

My social handles are: 

https://www.instagram.com/vitavolition/

https://x.com/VitaVolition

https://fetlife.com/users/15854169

Are you a sex worker or client with tips or experiences to share? We'd love to hear from you!

The Good Client Guide destigmatizes sex work while providing guidance on how to be a better client and ally. Better experiences for workers mean better experiences for clients! To make this happen, we’re welcoming submissions from both providers and their customers.

A disclaimer on this piece: I’m going to talk a lot about normalizing trans girls, which is a loaded topic that we all have varying opinions on. I am but one trans girl speaking on the subject. I cannot claim to speak for my whole community, just on my own experiences and views that I know are applicable to many others like me, but not all trans girls.

If you have been paying any attention to the news, it’s no secret that trans people are currently a massive target for violent rhetoric from conservatives. It started in 2021 with bans preventing us from competing in sports aligning with our gender identity, and quickly progressed to bans on using the bathroom for the gender we align with, and then further legislation restricting our access to gender affirming care. Some states, such as Florida, have banned hormone replacement therapy (HRT) altogether. Trans women have been proclaimed to be predatory men trying to get into the women’s bathroom to sexually assault “real women.” We have been labeled as monsters.

Even in sex work, a place where we are more accepted, we are treated very differently from cis people. We are treated as a third gender. Many websites separate us into our own category and refuse to categorize us under “men” and women” as well. If you go to Chaturbate, you can filter by men, women, and trans, and the trans people do not show up under the other two categories. Eros is separated by “female escorts” and “trans escorts”.

Tryst has a separate category for trans escorts, but also gives us the choice to appear under the appropriate gender section as well. This makes it easier for clients specifically seeking out a trans girl, but still gives us visibility to other clients if we choose. This is a great way of boosting our visibility while not othering us and I firmly believe other websites should follow this model.

With how the world treats us, it is very easy to see trans girls as these nebulous other beings compared to cis girls. That’s not the case though! We’re normal people and just like other girls! 

It is very easy to see trans girls as these nebulous other beings compared to cis girls. That’s not the case though! We’re normal people and just like other girls! 

I like to describe it like this: trans vs cis is just a descriptor, the same way body shape or race is just a descriptor. First and foremost, I am a girl. Trans just describes the kind of girl I am. I am not ashamed of or try to hide that I am trans, in fact I am quite proud of how I am. I do think there are ways being trans makes me special. The life experiences that come with being a trans girl are unlike anything else and have been key to shaping who I am. However, none of that discounts that, at the end of the day, I’m just a girl. If you saw me walking down the street, odds are you would have no clue I’m trans. You would just see a very pretty girl walking by and that’s it. Why should how you view me change once you know I’m trans? Does my birth gender and my parts really make that much of a difference? 

Usually, the biggest hangup is our genitals, which is understandable. They’re completely different from the parts that cis girls have, and many people attracted to women don’t have as much experience with a penis as a vagina. I encourage people to watch trans porn as a way of helping normalize their view of us. Funnily enough, trans porn is how I got used to being attracted to trans girls, well before I started transitioning. Increased exposure is always an excellent way of achieving normalization. Over time, you actually start seeing a “masculine” set of genitals as feminine when attached to a girl. A surprising number of people have complimented my genitals as looking pretty, something you might not expect at first.

First and foremost, I am a girl. Trans just describes the kind of girl I am.

Ultimately, the goal should be to normalize transness itself. The intermediate step to that is just seeing us as girls.

All of this to say: try and increase your exposure to us and keep an open mind. See us as normal people. See how pretty we are and embrace your attraction to us!

Taken the leap and booked your first time with a trans provider? Here are some things to know!

• Ask the provider how they like to be touched. Some girls don’t like their dick being touched at all, some love it. As much as we are here to make sure you have a good time, respect our boundaries and treat us like human beings just like you should with any provider!
• Also ask how to refer to her parts. This can vary from provider to provider. Some, including me, prefer to call things as they are (dick/cock, hole, ass, etc.), some like their parts referred to more in the vein of clit or pussy, and some don’t care! Calling genitals what the provider wants them to be called can help a lot with making them comfortable. Trans girls can struggle with dysphoria and their relationship to their bodies as is, and using terms they don’t like only contributes to that. The better we feel, the better experience you’ll have with us!
• It is okay to be curious and interested in a trans provider pegging you! That is certainly one of the appeals of seeing one. It is okay to ask, but don’t expect it to happen. Some girls are cool with it, some aren’t, and some might be okay with it but our equipment just doesn’t work well enough that day (something that naturally comes with taking estrogen). However, I, as well as many other girls, am happy to use a strap on, and that’s something to be open to! Having the parts to peg someone does not mean we strictly need to use them. 
• Don’t be embarrassed to take us out to dinner or be out in public with us! A lot of us LOVE being treated to dinner, it’s one of those things that is super gender affirming. We understand some clients prefer to generally keep sessions private, but if you would normally take a cis provider out in public, do the same with a trans provider. Flaunt how hot your date is like you normally would!

At the end of the day, we are just girls – don’t feel like you should see or treat us differently! Take the leap over the mental hurdle of booking a trans provider instead of a cis girl. You might be surprised at how much fun we are.

Are you a sex worker or client with tips or experiences to share? We'd love to hear from you!

The Good Client Guide destigmatizes sex work while providing guidance on how to be a better client and ally. Better experiences for workers mean better experiences for clients! To make this happen, we’re welcoming submissions from both providers and their customers.

Harm reduction is a set of practical strategies aimed at reducing the negative consequences associated with risky behaviors. While commonly applied to substance use, the principles of harm reduction can extend to other areas of life – including relationships and intimacy. The reality is that many people in committed relationships do experience desires for extramarital intimacy at some point. The reasons are varied and complex – from sexual incompatibility to unmet emotional needs to sheer curiosity. When someone chooses to act on these urges, seeing a professional companion may actually be the least harmful option for all involved.

It is widely accepted that infidelity is bad. I am not here to argue that, but rather than cast a moral judgment on people who cheat in relationships, I can instead outline some of the harmful effects that can follow when someone decides to cheat. The obvious first one is betrayal and the hurt feelings of their partner. Beyond this are the surrounding community members and family members that may be brought in to process the ensuing conflict. This can rupture family systems, sever work relationships, and if there are children shared between the couple, can be particularly stressful on them. Infidelity has the ability to tear people’s lives apart, and the effects ripple much wider than the immediate hurt between partners. I share this first in part because I don’t want to minimize the gravity of the issue at hand. It is a heavy thing. 

While commonly applied to substance use, the principles of harm reduction can extend to other areas of life – including relationships and intimacy.

Despite the risks involved, many people still cheat, and some engage in more risky behaviour. A 2021 Health survey found that 46% of people self-reported that they had had affairs (How Common Is Cheating? | Psych Central). A different study from the Journal of Family Psychology (When Partners Cheat, Who Do They Do It With? | Psychology Today) found that most people reported extramarital sex with a close personal friend (53.5%), followed by the category of neighbor/friend/long-term acquaintance (29.4%). So, for most people, affair partners were well known to the persons committing infidelity. In my opinion, this only increases the emotional risk as well as increasing potential splash damage. Trying to conceal a shift in dynamic with a close personal friend or coworker is a challenge. For the people who do cheat in this way, the risk of being caught is worth the reward of receiving the intimacy that they are craving outside of their primary relationship.

Just like people who seek out affairs have difficulty mediating their desire for intimacy outside their relationship, they oftentimes have trouble managing the emotional bonds that result from the affair in either themselves or their affair partner(s). In contrast, a tantric provider or professional companion is practiced in holding clear boundaries, both physical and emotional. We can provide a safe outlet for our clients to explore sensual and sexual expression without the risk of becoming emotionally entangled. This helps protect the primary relationship from the turmoil of an affair with a friend, coworker, or acquaintance, while still providing that intimate outlet. In the case of a married person seeing a sex worker, they can leave feeling fulfilled in their desire for intimacy with a minimized risk of developing an illusion of a potential future with that person. Connecting with a provider is a time-limited experience with a clear end point. Unlike an affair, which can take on a life of its own, sessions with a professional allow the client to compartmentalize and contain the experience. It doesn't usually impinge on family time or obligations beyond the hour or so shared in person.

In the case of a married person seeing a sex worker, they can leave feeling fulfilled in their desire for intimacy with a minimized risk of developing an illusion of a potential future with that person.

Sex workers assume most of the risk in the exchange of intimacy. It is a rare occurrence for a client to invite a companion into their family home or the favorite local restaurant of their spouse. The provider will either secure a location or meet at a hotel, and many will go as far as provide explicit instructions on how to minimize exposure in public. Sex workers understand very well what can be at risk for their clients – as sex workers we take on similar risk through engaging in the work at all. In the end what keeps the provider safe is what ensures discretion for the client, and that is clear and methodical boundaries in communication and time. The biggest risk that providers take is with their safety and well being, and most sex workers take great care to protect themselves from harm. When a client books a sex worker rather than approaching an acquaintance, they benefit from the heightened awareness of potential harm that sex workers bring to our work.

In my practice, I've seen many clients channel the insights and sexual healing they experience with me back into renewed intimacy with their spouse – and conclude our work together feeling more wholeheartedly dedicated to their marriage. One client in particular stands out to me from early in my career. An otherwise confident and successful man with a family came to see me, and was shaking with fear in our first Tantra massage session. He confessed to me his shame in having come close to having an affair with someone who was close to the family. He expressed love and respect for his wife, but had hit a place where she was entirely resistant to, or uninterested in any form of physical intimacy. 

When a client books a sex worker rather than approaching an acquaintance, they benefit from the heightened awareness of potential harm that sex workers bring to our work.

We worked together regularly for several months and in time, he shared with me  how promising new avenues of touch had opened up with his wife. He was able to learn from me how to be more present with her and create genuine openings for intimacy. We lovingly closed our relationship so that he could be fully present for his family, and I said goodbye to him with a positive feeling that I had helped him find a way forward to keep his family whole. He was able to walk away from me without any lingering attachment and minimal shame, knowing that the positive experiences we shared could just be private memories for him to enjoy moving forward.

To be clear, seeing a companion is not a replacement for doing the difficult work of examining and communicating about the challenges in a relationship. Couples therapy, improved dialogue, and rebuilding trust are essential to repair a connection where intimacy has become strained or unfulfilling for one or both partners. However, if someone is grappling with the near-overwhelming compulsion to stray, harm reduction means finding the least destructive path forward. Repressing the urge entirely often backfires. While society may cast judgment, the reality of sex and relationships is rarely black and white. For the person who feels trapped between their desires and their commitments, seeing a caring professional may provide the most ethical, responsible outlet. It's harm reduction – not a solution, but a safer choice that minimizes risk for all parties involved.

Are you a sex worker or client with tips or experiences to share? We'd love to hear from you!

The Good Client Guide destigmatizes sex work while providing guidance on how to be a better client and ally. Better experiences for workers mean better experiences for clients! To make this happen, we’re welcoming submissions from both providers and their customers.

Dear Andre, 

Most times I’ve hired companionship the woman asks if I have a lube preference, and yet I always err towards her favorite… because I have no idea how else to answer the question! Am I the only guy who thought there was just one kind of lubricant?! Also, are you *always* expected to use lube? What am I missing? 

No need to be embarrassed, dear reader! I haven’t obtained my graduate degree in lubrication, either; although to be fair, we both know it’s only because no such thing exists (...yet!)

In my opinion, lubrication is the most tragically overlooked addition to all penetrative-based fun sexy times. Thanks to some long-departed misogynist who claimed some expertise over the female sexual response cycle, there’s a widespread myth that if your partner isn’t naturally “wet” (or rock-hard, for that matter) that they aren’t enjoying themselves. Therefore we shouldn’t ever NEED to buy lube, right?

Wrong! Bodies are terribly unpredictable due to an endless variety of reasons that may or may not include the medication we’re on, what’s happened that day, whether we’re under the influence of drugs or alcohol, etc etc. TLDR: Sometimes our physical reactions align with how we feel, and sometimes they don’t. End of story. Accept this fact, increase verbal communication in the bedroom, and grab that lube!

There are three different kinds of lubricant, excluding the kinds excreted from our own bodies, that are commonly made available for pleasurable purposes. I’ll briefly illustrate each lube’s pros and cons alongside best practices on when to use them – you’ll be a (s)expert in no time!

Oil-based Lubes, e.g. coconut or massage oil 

It’s all too easy to transition from receiving a sensual massage to more explicit activities, but not so fast – if you’re planning on using a condom, you may need a quick rinse first! 

Why? Because oil breaks down latex and compromises the efficacy of the condom. 

Hack this issue by rinsing your junk with soap and water *before* putting the condom on and using a latex-compatible lube for penetration. You can also use non-latex condoms to avoid all the fuss, although who doesn’t love an excuse to scrub a babe’s back in the bath? It’s also a favorite for folks that want to save a little money, as a jar of coconut oil typically costs way less than that same volume of water-based or silicone lubricants.

While oil often feels “natural” and can incorporate soothing scents into your pleasure, keep in mind that it absorbs into the skin and will need to be reapplied often. Finally, if you or your provider are prone to ingrown hairs in your pubic area you may want to skip the oil, as it tends to clog pores. Oil can also wreak havok on the PH levels of genitals, which can cause problems like thrush and BV (bacterial vaginosis)!

Water-based Lubes

Water-based lubricants are likely the most commonly utilized in the bedroom. This is because they’re readily available, are typically at an affordable price point, come in flavored (a great addition to oral!), non-flavored, and organic variations, and are compatible with all sex toy and condom materials.

Like oil, water-based lube does absorb into the skin, so you’ll need to reapply it as you go (pro tip: you can also “reactivate” drying lube with water or spit – if you and your paramour are fluid-bonded, of course!) And while there are a multitude of brands you can go with, you’ll want to steer towards glycerin, paraben, and fragrance-free options – although your provider will almost certainly only have body-safe brands available. 

My two favorite water-based lubricants are the many variations of Sliquid products (which include ph-balancing, moisturizing seaweed-enriched lubes, DELICIOUS flavored lubes, and an extra viscous lube called “Sassy” that’s especially great for more “extreme” penetration  – anal penetration, fisting, etc. 

Silicone Lubes

Silicone lubricants are by far the “slickest” option for those who want to take their lubegame to the next level. Silicone lubricant is unique in that it doesn’t absorb into your skin, so while you’ll eventually need to wash it off with soap and water you’ll also be able to use much less of it than oil or water-based products. Therefore, silicone lube tends to have the highest price point of any lube category.

Silicone lube is not only exceptional for the types of “extreme” penetration mentioned above – it can have many off-label conveniences, such as acting as a WD-40 substitute for squeaky hinges, providing a quick and easy hair shine product and polishing your domme’s favorite latex pencil skirt! Beware of mixing solid silicone (like a dildo or butt plug) with liquid silicone, however – extended contact will actually compromise the chemical composition of the solid silicone. Still want your provider to use silicone lube with your favorite silicone insertable? No fear – just put a condom on it! 

Personally, I recommend the brands Uberlube and Swiss Navy, although there is way less ingredient variation among silicone lube brands than the alternatives. 

At the end of the day, determining between all of these lubrication options can leave you spinning. It’s my best advice that you embrace experimenting with what works for you and your body to find your perfect fit. In the meantime, you can continue to err on the side of your provider’s preference – we’re terribly unlikely to steer you wrong!

Are you a sex worker or client with tips or experiences to share? We'd love to hear from you!

The Good Client Guide destigmatizes sex work while providing guidance on how to be a better client and ally. Better experiences for workers mean better experiences for clients! To make this happen, we’re welcoming submissions from both providers and their customers.

Thanks for joining us for our series 'A Tryst About Town', where we ask some of our favourite providers all about their favourite aspects and features of their home city. Today we're chatting with New York escort Mia Betancourt about the things they love in the Big Apple!

What makes New York special to you?

New York is special to me because it’s a city that embodies endless possibilities. It’s a place where every street feels like it has its own story, and every corner offers something new to discover. The energy here is unlike anywhere else — it’s vibrant, electric, and constantly evolving.

What truly makes New York stand out is its diversity. The city is a melting pot of cultures, ideas, and perspectives, and that’s reflected in everything from the food to the art to the people. I love that I can walk down a single block and hear multiple languages, experience different cuisines, and see styles and traditions from all over the world.

New York is also where dreams are pursued relentlessly. There’s a certain drive and ambition that permeates the air — everyone here is striving for something, whether it’s in the arts, business, or any other field. It’s inspiring to be surrounded by that kind of passion and determination.

And then there’s the iconic landmarks and neighborhoods that hold so much history. Whether it’s the towering skyscrapers of Midtown, the artistic vibe of the Village, or the serene beauty of Central Park, each part of the city has its own unique charm. It’s a city that never stops surprising me, and that’s what keeps me so deeply connected to it.

What’s your favorite memory associated with living here?

It’s hard to pick just one, but one of my favorite memories of living in New York has to be my first spring in the city. I remember it like it was yesterday — the long winter had finally given way to warmer days, and the entire city seemed to come alive overnight.

I decided to take a walk through Central Park, not really knowing what to expect. As I strolled along, I came across the Conservatory Garden in full bloom. The sight of those vibrant flowers, with their colors and fragrances filling the air, completely took my breath away. It was like discovering a hidden oasis right in the middle of the bustling city.

But what made that day truly special was the spontaneous picnic that followed. I ended up meeting a group of strangers who were also soaking in the beauty of the garden. We started chatting, sharing snacks, and before I knew it, we were laughing and telling stories like old friends. It was one of those perfect New York moments where the city’s magic brings people together in the most unexpected ways.

What’s your perfect New York day out?

My perfect New York day out starts with an early morning stroll through Central Park. There’s something magical about the park in the morning — when the city is just waking up, and the air is crisp and fresh. I love starting my day with a coffee in hand, watching the joggers and dog walkers pass by, and maybe even stopping by the Bethesda Terrace to take in the view.

From there, I’d head to the Metropolitan Museum of Art. I could easily spend hours getting lost in the exhibits, from ancient artifacts to modern masterpieces. There’s always something new to discover, and it’s the perfect way to feed my love for art and history.

Lunchtime calls for a visit to the Chelsea Market. The food options are endless, but I usually find myself gravitating toward a fresh lobster roll or some spicy tacos — something that’s bursting with flavor. Afterward, I’d wander the High Line, taking in the unique urban greenery and the incredible views of the city.

In the afternoon, a little retail therapy is in order. SoHo is my go-to for shopping, where I can browse everything from high-end boutiques to quirky independent stores. There’s something about the cobblestone streets and the energy of SoHo that makes shopping there an experience rather than just a task.

As evening approaches, I’d catch a Broadway show — there’s nothing like the thrill of live theater. Whether it’s a classic musical or a cutting-edge play, the talent and creativity on display always leave me in awe.

To cap off the night, I’d head to Le Bain at The Standard for a drink. The rooftop views of the city skyline are simply breathtaking, and it’s the perfect spot to reflect on the day while sipping a cocktail and watching the city lights twinkle.

Every time I plan a day like this, I’m reminded of why I love New York so much — it’s a city that offers endless possibilities, where every moment feels vibrant and full of life.

Where, in your opinion, is the best cup of coffee in town?

Without a doubt, the best cup of coffee in New York City can be found at Hidden Grounds Chai & Coffee on 3rd Ave. My love affair with this café started back in 2014 when I stumbled upon them in Jersey, and let me tell you — it’s been a whirlwind romance ever since. Now that they’re here in New York, I make it a ritual to swing by and grab my favorites. This place isn’t just about coffee; it’s about that perfect sip that either revives your soul or soothes you into a moment of bliss.

When I’m in desperate need of a serious pick-me-up, those days when caffeine feels like the only thing holding me together, I go straight for The Red Eye or their Sweet Caramel Brew with an espresso shot. It’s like liquid magic, jolting me to life with a rich, bold intensity that keeps me coming back for more. These two are my life-savers — no exaggeration!

But not every day requires that kind of power boost. On more relaxed days, I indulge in the Honey Bee Latte, with its perfect balance of sweetness and depth, or my newfound obsession: the Holy Kakow Cardamom Brew. That hint of exotic spice mixed with the smooth coffee — it’s pure seduction in a cup. One sip, and I’m transported, feeling like I’m indulging in something delightfully decadent yet so comforting.

Hidden Grounds isn’t just a coffee stop for me; it’s a full-on experience. Whether I need to kick-start my day or simply savor a moment of calm in the midst of the city’s chaos, this place delivers. Each cup feels like a little indulgence, a secret you can’t wait to share but also want to keep all to yourself.

Can you recommend a great place to have drinks with a provider?

Absolutely! If you’re looking to impress and indulge, Excuse My French on Orchard Street is the perfect spot. The moment you step inside, you’re transported to a world of sultry, Parisian chic — dim lighting, plush velvet seating, and an ambiance that whispers intimacy. It’s the kind of place where the conversation flows as smoothly as the cocktails, and the night just seems to melt away.

One of the highlights of my visits is the prosciutto charcuterie with Ossau Iraty. The combination of the savory, melt-in-your-mouth prosciutto with the rich, nutty Ossau Iraty cheese is pure decadence. It’s the kind of appetizer that sets the tone for an unforgettable evening.

Now, let’s talk about the drinks. I was completely torn between the Moulin Rouge and the Dragon Fruit Daiquiri — both are simply divine. The Moulin Rouge is a seductive blend that’s as captivating as its namesake, with a perfect balance of bold and smooth flavors. On the other hand, the Dragon Fruit Daiquiri is an exotic, vibrant burst of flavor that dances on your palate. Choosing between the two is impossible, so I often find myself indulging in both!

What I truly adore about Excuse My French is the vibe. It’s intimate, the kind of place where you can really connect with your company, yet there’s an air of privacy—everyone is too busy enjoying their own little world to intrude on yours. It’s become my go-to spot, and I find myself returning at least twice a month. Whether it’s for a special date night or just to soak in the ambiance with a close friend, it never disappoints.

Tell us about a restaurant that you love to eat at.

One of my absolute favorite spots to dine in New York City has to be Nusr-Et Steakhouse New York. From the moment you walk in, you’re greeted with an ambiance that’s both luxurious and vibrant — a true reflection of the city itself. But what really sets Nusr-Et apart is the experience. It’s not just a meal; it’s a culinary performance.

The star of the show, of course, is the steak. Perfectly cooked, tender, and bursting with flavor, it’s truly a cut above the rest. Whether you’re indulging in their signature tomahawk or savoring the richness of their filet mignon, each bite is an experience in itself. And let’s not forget about the iconic “Salt Bae” touch — seeing the steak seasoned with such flair is a moment that never gets old.

But it’s not just the steak that has me coming back. The side dishes, from the decadent mashed potatoes to the crisp, fresh salads, perfectly complement the main course. And the dessert? Let’s just say their baklava is a must-try — it’s a sweet, flaky, and indulgent end to an unforgettable meal.

What I love most about Nusr-Et is that it’s the perfect blend of sophistication and fun. Whether I’m there with friends, celebrating a special occasion, or just treating myself to something extraordinary, I always leave feeling like I’ve had a true New York dining experience.

Are there any venues, shows, or festivals you particularly love?

Oh, absolutely! I’m a huge fan of the opera, and my last indulgence was La Bohème — an unforgettable experience. The performance was breathtaking, and the atmosphere during the intermission was just as delightful, with elegant food that added to the evening’s sophistication. There’s something truly magical about opera; it transports you to another world, and La Bohème did that perfectly.

Lately, I’ve been keeping an eye on some intriguing shows at the Bated Breath Theatre — particularly Voyeur: The Windows of Toulouse-Lautrec. It’s such a unique concept, and I love how it merges art with immersive theater. Then, of course, there’s Moulin Rouge! on Broadway, which has been at the top of my list for a while now. The vibrancy, the energy, the sheer spectacle — I can already imagine how thrilling it will be.

And let’s not forget the allure of the city’s burlesque shows. There’s a certain charm and boldness to them that’s so quintessentially New York. I’ve been meaning to catch a few performances, but as of late, I’ve been busy collecting professional credentials and certifications, which has kept me from indulging in all the shows on my list.

But who knows? Perhaps I’ll soon meet a fellow theater enthusiast who would love to join me on this cultural journey through the city’s incredible venues. There’s just so much to explore, and I can’t wait to dive back into it all!

What’s your favourite gallery or museum?

Choosing a favorite gallery or museum in New York City is no easy task, but if I had to pick, it would be The Metropolitan Museum of Art. The Met is more than just a museum — it’s a journey through time and across cultures. Every visit feels like an adventure, whether I’m exploring the ancient Egyptian artifacts, getting lost in the European paintings, or marveling at the stunning fashion exhibits.

There’s something incredibly special about wandering through those grand halls and discovering something new each time. I’m particularly drawn to the Temple of Dendur — there’s a certain serenity in that space, with the ancient structure set against the backdrop of Central Park. It’s a moment of quiet reflection amidst the vibrancy of the city.

But I also have a soft spot for smaller, more intimate galleries like the Frick Collection. It’s like stepping into a different era, with its stunning old masters and the tranquil ambiance of the mansion. It’s a place where I can truly take my time and immerse myself in the art without the hustle and bustle of larger crowds.

What’s your favorite place to take a walk?

My favorite place to take a walk has to be Central Park. There’s something timeless and magical about strolling through its winding paths, no matter the season. In the spring, the park is alive with blooming flowers and fresh greenery, while in the fall, the vibrant foliage paints the landscape in warm, golden hues.

I love starting at Bethesda Terrace, where the sound of the fountain and the view of the lake create this serene moment in the middle of the city’s hustle. From there, I might wander through the Ramble, with its hidden trails and natural beauty — it’s easy to forget you’re in the heart of Manhattan.

And then there’s The Mall, lined with towering elms, leading to the Bethesda Fountain. It’s one of those quintessential New York experiences, where you can people-watch, listen to street performers, or simply lose yourself in the atmosphere.

What’s your recommended hotel for people who are visiting?

When it comes to recommending a hotel for visitors, I always suggest The Bowery Hotel. It’s located in the heart of the Lower East Side, which gives it this perfect mix of luxury and downtown cool. The moment you step into the lobby, you’re greeted with a warm, vintage vibe — think velvet sofas, antique rugs, and a cozy fireplace that makes you feel like you’ve stepped into a chic, old-world New York.

The rooms are just as inviting, with plush beds, marble bathrooms, and those gorgeous floor-to-ceiling windows that offer stunning views of the city. There’s an attention to detail that really elevates the experience, from the high-end bath products to the curated minibars stocked with local favorites.

But what really sets The Bowery apart is the service. The staff go above and beyond to make sure your stay is not just comfortable, but memorable. They have this way of making you feel right at home while also giving you that touch of luxury.

And let’s not forget the location! You’re right in the middle of one of the most vibrant neighborhoods in the city, with easy access to amazing restaurants, boutiques, and nightlife. Plus, you’re just a short walk from iconic spots like Washington Square Park and SoHo.

For anyone visiting New York and wanting to experience the city’s unique blend of history, style, and modern luxury, The Bowery Hotel is my top recommendation. It’s the kind of place that makes your stay in the city truly unforgettable.

What is your ideal social date with a client?

My ideal social date with a client is a blend of elegance, spontaneity, and a touch of adventure. It starts with an early evening meet-up at a charming wine bar, like Amelie in the West Village. I love the intimate ambiance and the way the dim lighting creates this cozy, almost romantic atmosphere. We’d share a bottle of wine — something rich and bold — while enjoying light conversation that gradually deepens as we get to know each other.

From there, we’d take a leisurely stroll through the streets of the Village, maybe stopping by a jazz club like Smalls or Blue Note for some live music. There’s something so captivating about live jazz; it’s soulful, spontaneous, and sets the perfect mood for a night out in the city.

For dinner, we’d head to a restaurant with a bit of character — somewhere like Raoul’s in SoHo, with its old-world charm and incredible French cuisine. The conversation would flow as easily as the wine, and we’d indulge in delicious food, savoring every bite as we talked about everything from art to travel to our favorite New York moments.

To cap off the evening, we’d find ourselves at a rooftop bar like Le Bain at The Standard. With the city skyline glittering around us, we’d sip on cocktails and take in the breathtaking views. It’s the perfect spot for a little more conversation, some laughter, and maybe even a bit of flirtation.

What makes this my ideal date is the combination of culture, great food, and a setting that encourages connection. It’s about creating an experience that’s both sophisticated and relaxed, where we can really enjoy each other’s company in the vibrant backdrop of New York City.

Are you a sex worker or client with tips or experiences to share? We'd love to hear from you!

The Good Client Guide destigmatizes sex work while providing guidance on how to be a better client and ally. Better experiences for workers mean better experiences for clients! To make this happen, we’re welcoming submissions from both providers and their customers.

“I’ve been seeing a provider monthly for the past two years. I initially hired her to help me mitigate the grief experienced by the loss of my wife and our professional relationship evolved from there. While we have an incredible connection, I recently began dating someone new and feel myself ready to shed this phase of my life. I care deeply for my provider and am so grateful for everything she’s done for me; how do I transition out of our relationship with grace and respect?”

One of the most challenging elements of my profession is when regular clients of mine suddenly drop off. Yes, it’s baffling, and yes, it often impacts my finances, however I’m rarely left with feelings of anger or entitlement. Instead, I’m mostly overwhelmed with concern. Due to the prurient (and inherently surreptitious) nature of the work, I intellectually accept that I typically know very little about my client’s life outside of our interactions. 

I am comfortable meeting my clients where they’re at in terms of transparency and vulnerability, and I genuinely don’t expect them to draft thorough, compassionate “break up” letters to explain sudden departures. However, I’m often left wondering – are they sick or injured? Did they move? Get married? Pass away? It’s an uncomfortable part of the job, and it helps me to treat these drop-offs as opportunities to practice non-attachment and embrace the fluidity of relationships.  

I genuinely don’t expect them to draft thorough, compassionate “break up” letters to explain sudden departures. However, I’m often left wondering...

Recently, a longtime client of mine contacted me to initiate a “last session”. We’ll call him Anthony. Anthony came to me via personal recommendation by a mutual friend several years ago in the aftermath of a difficult divorce. He was suffering from feelings of insecurity and destabilization and was looking for a safe, intimate outlet where he could express and explore his authentic sexual desires for the first time in his life. I was able to provide that for him, and we became quite close. As a result, Anthony did what I hoped he would – he began to heal.

After an unusual multi-month stint of silence, Anthony reached out to say that he was in a really good place. He’d been going to therapy, traveling, dating casually, and finally felt “like himself”. He thanked me profusely for everything I’d done for him, and asked if he could hire me one more time to “say goodbye”. He offered to pay my full rate for a PG-rated evening of gratitude and reflection, came to me bearing several meaningful gifts, and proceeded to initiate a really beautiful transition conversation. He treated the end of our relationship with the same intentionality and reverence as it had commenced. As someone who has almost exclusively been ghosted by personal partners over the past several years, his thoughtfulness alone brought me to tears. 

In an ideal world, every significant decision made within an interpersonal relationship would be clearly and compassionately communicated to the other parties involved with grace and respect. In this same world, the connections between providers and their clients would be held in the same esteem as non-professional ones, considered just as significant and deserving of “best practices”. In actuality, while we’re unlikely to experience this utopia of basic human decency, I believe that we – providers and clients alike – can always be better to each other. 

So, dear reader, follow your A+++ inclinations and initiate that uncomfortable conversation with your pro. There’s no need to apologize for the progress you’ve made along your shared journey, nor for the shift in your priorities, and resist the urge to “soften the blow” by suggesting you reconnect in the future (if you have no intention of doing so). I guarantee, closing that container with care and dignity will leave the both of you better off.

Are you a sex worker or client with tips or experiences to share? We'd love to hear from you!

The Good Client Guide destigmatizes sex work while providing guidance on how to be a better client and ally. Better experiences for workers mean better experiences for clients! To make this happen, we’re welcoming submissions from both providers and their customers.

Welcome back to our interview series, 'A Tryst About Town', where we chat with providers about their hometowns and the best of the best venues, food, events, and more! We're joined by Mistress Tomie, who takes us around her New York.

What makes New York special to you?

I had a habit of wearing black turtlenecks all the time in college and a friend born and raised in NYC said my personality fits this city. He wasn’t wrong – my slightly chaotic yet cutthroat ambition is the perfect blend here. I also had a romantic view of the writing scene here after meeting Marie Howe at an event. 

I’ve never felt as at home in a city as I do New York. It's a pressure cooker and although it can grind me down sometimes, it more often makes me feel alive. I adore the messiness, the honesty, the melting pot of cultures and niches, the way the city forces you to interact with people from different backgrounds, and the way it is international without being international. 

It also has, in my opinion, the biggest kink scene in the U.S. LA is the second. 

What’s your favorite memory associated with living here?

There’s so many! Every borough has a little shining corner. I love knowing the underground dungeons and kink spaces in NYC.

Pre-COVID, there were a lot of talented subway performers who would do cool tricks and amazing performances. I sometimes let myself miss stops to enjoy the show a little longer. There was one specific guy with a golden voice who played his guitar. I can’t get that voice out of my head and I can never find him again! 

Where can you find the best cup of coffee?

I’m not a huge coffee drinker but if you like a good matcha latte, I adore Kettl Tea.

Can you recommend a great bar? 

For a fancier bar with a nice view, Nubeluz. The best drinks I’ve had this year were at Shinji’s. 

Where’s good to eat, be it a hole-in-the-wall or an extravagant restaurant?

For extravagance, Yoshino’s has the best omakase I’ve had in the last few years. They import sake that’s exclusive to that restaurant and can’t be experienced anywhere else. I also quite enjoyed Chef’s Table at Brooklyn Fare. For something more low-key, I adore Tonchin’s, Taku Sando, and the dumplings at White Bear. 

What’s the best sex or fetish shop?

Purple Passion is the OG.

What’s your perfect NYC day out?

Brunch and then something nerdy or arts-related – I love a good film. Then we could end the day at a nice bar.

Are there any venues, shows, or festivals you particularly love?

I love anime conventions. The first anime con I went to was Anime Expo in Los Angeles in high school. Since then I’ve also attended the Chicago one and now go to AnimeNYC each year when I’m in NYC! I’m hoping to branch out and attend the San Diego ComicCon in the near future.

Are you a sex worker or client with tips or experiences to share? We'd love to hear from you!

The Good Client Guide destigmatizes sex work while providing guidance on how to be a better client and ally. Better experiences for workers mean better experiences for clients! To make this happen, we’re welcoming submissions from both providers and their customers.

Despite this sounding like the inspiration for a not-gonna-age-well movie squashed somewhere in between the release of Porky’s (1981) and Risky Business (1983), I can’t say I’m too surprised by the question of parents hiring sex workers for their adult children. 

Hiring sex workers has never been more en vogue, coexisting almost comically – and not coincidentally – with the sobering reality that providers themselves have never been more vulnerable. 

There have even been mainstream films released over the past several years depicting the hiring of sex workers, with Emma Thompson’s Good Luck to You, Leo Grande (2022) reigning supreme over Jennifer Lawrence’s No Hard Feelings (2023), if not for any other reason than its willingness to describe the desired arrangement honestly – in No Hard Feelings, Lawrence’s character repeatedly rejects the “sex worker” identification with more than a touch of whorephobia. 

In the latter film, Lawrence’s character answers an ad by a couple desperate for someone to socialize their 19-year-old, Percy, to the world of dating – in exchange for a car. Despite seemingly having their son’s best interests at heart, it is my sincere hope that other parents don’t follow suit. 

Here’s why – 

You probably don’t know your kid as well as you think

What’s your relationship like with your son? How can you be certain that he’s not getting laid, let alone has a deficit of intimate knowledge best met by hiring a professional? Has he expressed explicit interest and sought you out for assistance? Or have you unilaterally decided this would be the best course of action for him moving forward? Regardless of how close the two of you are, going down this road will assuredly make navigating boundaries with your kid a hell of a lot harder moving forward. 

Are you sure you aren’t seeking to live vicariously through him? 

Perhaps you’ve always fantasized about getting “taught the ropes” by a seasoned beauty, and then bragging to your buddies about it (hey 80s’ films!). It could also be that you desire to hire a sex worker as an adult, yet it would be too high risk for your lifestyle, especially if you work with children or in a government job. You could be projecting your own unobtainable thirst on your son. 

Late bloomers typically turn out just fine

Without knowing any further details about your son – such as whether he’s living with a disability vs is simply frustrated about starting college before losing his virginity – know that not everyone has to get frisky before an arbitrary age, date, or life milestone, or even at all. Sexual latency could be the result of trauma, lack of education or exposure, body/gender/sexual orientation dysphoria, or a million other things. The last thing you want to do is belabor a false narrative that one’s personal worth – or worse, one’s worth as a man – is defined by perceived sexual prowess. 

You should never hire a sex worker as a “surprise”

Whether you’re surprising your partner, your buddy, or your offspring, trust that the type of worker you’d hire is unlikely to be that person’s cup of tea. Assumptions make an ASS out of U and ME, and even if you hire someone who you consider to be the pinnacle of stereotypical mainstream attractiveness, the chances that your son will feel similarly are slim. It’s potentially also deeply unfair to the provider, especially if they aren’t fully aware of what they are stepping into.

So, what can you do? 

Read the room. If your son has indeed broached the subject of hiring a pro with you, make sure he’s as informed as possible about both the benefits and risks involved. Discuss the legitimacy of the labor, realistic vs unrealistic expectations, best practices when booking, legality, and how to keep himself safer. Turning him on to Tryst’s Good Client Guide is an excellent first start for resources and recommendations! Let him know that you support his decision either way, and that you’ll be available moving forward should he have any other questions or concerns. Then, dear Dad, turn your attention back to your own life.

Are you a sex worker or client with tips or experiences to share? We'd love to hear from you!

The Good Client Guide destigmatizes sex work while providing guidance on how to be a better client and ally. Better experiences for workers mean better experiences for clients! To make this happen, we’re welcoming submissions from both providers and their customers.