I’m here for her and she’s here for me but damn if it’s not difficult at times. In our lives so far, we’ve been trying to clean up the mess her parents made, and we haven’t been able to carve out a life for ourselves. Too focused on getting through one month after the next.

We keep asking, when will it be our turn?
When will we receive a massive push that rejuvenates us?
When will we be the benefactors of luck and good fortune?
When will be able to live without worrying so damn much?

There are no answers. So we keep on trudging through life.

Clicking the trash can to remove the privacy protection would end up removing the domain renewal as well. Thinking this was an error of some sort, I tried it again, and then again. Finally, I gave up, thinking that for whatever reason, GoDaddy was treating both products as one. That’s pretty stupid if you ask me, since they’re clearly displayed as two separate products in the cart.

After struggling a bit, I visited the help center which ultimately led to contacting support. The support person was able to remove the privacy protection from my account allowing me to renew the domain. All in all, the process to renew the domain took about 45 minutes.

I imagine thousands of people renew domains every day and it’s one of the foundational services that GoDaddy provides. To experience this much friction in a process that should take minutes from a company that has offered this service for years is baffling.

I don’t know why the GoDaddy cart treated both products as one. Something is amiss. I’ll end my experience by saying the support person I interacted with was a 10/10 and got the job done. I’ll still be using GoDaddy for my domains but damn, I hope it goes a lot smoother next time.

It started in 2020 when I legitimately started to fear getting Covid-19, then it escalated as I’d watch or listen to the news and hear about all of the cases and deaths. Throughout the year, I became more and more paranoid or in my opinion, cautious, where I didn’t want to leave the house if I didn’t have to.

Then one night in early 2020, I was sitting in the recliner and noticed a numbing feeling in my arms. I walked up and down the driveway for a while and eventually, I told my wife that she needed to take me to the urgent care because the feeling wasn’t going away and I didn’t know what was going on.

We sat in the Urgent Care parking lot for at least a half-hour because I was afraid to go into a place that would increase my odds of catching covid. While sitting in the car, I eventually felt normal again and we ended up going back home.

After discussing things with my doctor, it was determined that I had likely experienced an anxiety attack. This was a first for me and it was a scary situation. Since then, I’ve had too many attacks to count. That’s where the .5 MG of Lorazepam comes in handy. It’s basically a sedative that slows my heart rate and allows me to get things back under control.

During the day, I’m constantly struggling to maintain balance and avoid triggering an attack. I feel like I’m on edge all of the time. Sometimes, the attacks happen out of nowhere without a trigger, those are the scariest. This is what it feels like.

My heart rate begins to increase, my breathing becomes more labored or shallow. I feel my body get hot as my blood pressure rises which causes me to start sweating. At this point, I’ve taken the Lorazepam, I’ve got my hoody on and I’m crawled into bed in my safe space listening to the sounds of rushing water as I sing a song to myself or recite the alphabet multiple times. Meanwhile, I go through hot flashes, I sweat, and I try to avoid the thoughts that make me question whether this is the end. Thankfully, I’m still around and none of the attacks have gone that far, but they sure feel like it will.

Avoiding the attacks is all about trying to maintain control of my body, in particular my breathing. The feeling of losing control creates a cascading effect and I hope I never experience a full-blown attack that I can’t recover from without medical attention. A lot of folks who believe they’re having heart attacks are actually experiencing anxiety or panic attacks.

Living this way sucks and I’m not sure how I got myself into this position. Here are some things I’m trying to do to get better.

I have a doctor’s appointment in February and I’m also scheduling an appointment with a behavioral therapist this month. I should have done this last year but I didn’t. I’m trying to eliminate alcohol from my life because I think it’s the crux of the problem. The thing about alcohol is that it acts as a sedative, relaxing me and taking my mind off of things. It’s everything else that comes with it that makes it a problem. Also, I think a few of the attacks I’ve had can be directly linked to alcohol consumption the previous night.

I need to improve my health overall which I think will have a cumulative effect on my well-being. It has gotten to the point where the other day, I attempted to drive to a nearby gas station but ended up having to turn around and go home because of how I was feeling in the car. Any time I feel my heart rate going up or my anxiety levels rising, I immediately want to go to my safe space and calm down.

As you can guess, this has been hell on my wife and a few close friends. My wife and friends want to go out and do things and I’m the one holding everyone back because of what I’m going through. It makes me feel really shitty as a person as I feel that it’s out of my control. But I’m hopeful that isn’t the case as I take steps to try to get back to 2019 me. 2020 Really screwed me up and I’m still paying the price.

Post 10

Post 10 is an individual based in Maine. He travels local areas as well as far distances in search of flooding caused by poor engineering, beavers, or unfortunate circumstances. He also mixes in videos of the “What if? variety. One of my favorites though is his exploration videos of places that are deep in the woods or sometimes right off the side of the road.

This is one of the channels where I didn’t think the subject matter would interest me, but here is why it does. When Post 10 unclogs a culvert or a blockage, seeing immediate results from the water rushing to equalize itself is pleasing. On top of that, when he’s unclogging a culvert in a somewhat powerful stream, the lack of him talking with the sound of rushing water is soothing. In fact, there’s one video in particular where the water running through the river is so loud, I sometimes watch that section of the video repeatedly with headphones on as it calms me down. He’s also a rail fan!

Here’s an example of what Post 10 does. On this day, he explores an abandoned railway that is being turned into a paved hiking trail. Some of the things he discovers is pretty cool.

Ace Videos, High Adventure Videos

Ace and High Adventure Videos are brothers that live in different parts of the country now but share a passion in fishing and trying new things. Their videos feature a lot of catch and cooks and I have to be honest, their content is inspiring me to get into fishing. Because of their videos, I’ve purchased more seasonings and have eaten more fish. While commercials can be boring, High Adventure Videos puts a lot of effort into making them entertaining and worth watching. Skipping over them is a crime!

Me Ancient

Me Ancient is the father of Ace Videos and High Adventure Videos. After spending a few years being featured on both channels and acting as judge for catch and cooks, he started his own channel earlier this year. If you watch through Ace’s videos, he explains in one of them why they call their father Me Ancient. I think it’s a cool name

Me Ancient is a Veteran of the United States Marines and in his videos, he tries C-Rations and MREs (Meals Ready to Eat) that he has kept in storage over the years. It’s pretty funny to see what is still edible after 30-50 years. Hint, it’s always the Gum. When he goes into story mode, it’s always a good time.

Wild Life

This channel features Payton, a Wild Live conservationist who does a lot of catch and release videos. He also throws out his net to see what there is to catch in various waterways. What’s fascinating about this channel is how much fish there is to be had around the city of Houston, TX through the various Bayous, drainage areas, and creeks. I don’t think most of Houston realizes they’re not far away from monster sized Sturgeon.

Crazy Quady

Quady is a guy I’ve recently started following for his down-to-earth nature and his growing ability to take people into remote areas of the country while sleeping in the back of his truck. In his video series where he travels from California back to Nebraska, he goes through some of the most awesome terrain along an Interstate I’ve ever seen. Of course, I’ve never driven past Chicago when going out west. He recently hit the 20K subscriber mark! Congrats Quady and keep up the awesome videos.

Hobo Shoestring

I’ve been following this gentleman for a long time and I’m so stoked he finally hit the 100K subscribers mark. He takes you on rides via his freight train adventures. He’s got plenty of stories, including how he went from practically dying to going sober and staying sober. He also battled Covid and survived. He was also hit by a car about a year or two ago and he survived that! If you end up questioning what happened to his hand, it was crushed by a rail car in an accident. For Shoestring, riding the rails is what makes him feel the most alive.

Report Of the Week aka ReviewBrah

It took awhile to get used to ReviewBrah but once I did, his videos have brought me joy. He reviews fast food items ranging from the latest in chicken sandwiches, to the craziest pizzas. He does these reviews in a classy suit with a matching tie without getting any of the food on them. The comment sections of his videos are some of the most positive you’ll see across YouTube. His sense of humor is on point and his way with words is unmatched. If you’re thinking about picking up the latest fast food creations, don’t do it until you’ve watched his review.

Last year at this time, I was gearing up for the launch of WP Mainline before the proverbial shit hit the fan. I’ve been spending a lot of time thinking about WP Mainline and I’ve fallen into a mental conundrum. I keep coming up with reasons as to why WP Mainline shouldn’t be a thing or how it wouldn’t fit into the WordPress space. There’s already WP Tavern and there’s already PostStatus, what can I offer and can I make a living doing it? Can I reinvent the glory days of the Tavern elsewhere on the web?

I guess what I’m seeking is a bit of positive reinforcement of the idea of WP Mainline and some encouragement. The goal of WP Mainline is to be a hub to discuss what’s going on in the WordPress scene and to make it a large, helpful, friendly community of folks. Normally I wouldn’t ask for this kind of help but I think it would do me some good and help get the train rolling again.

Over the course of five years, I didn’t make much headway into that goal but it wasn’t for a lack of trying. I’ve been looking for work for the past few months and have been unsuccessful. The skills I used via the Tavern do not translate well to many businesses in the WordPress space as I’m not a developer or a support guru. I also don’t want to be a content farm for anyone other than myself.

I’ve had a few people suggest that I start a new Tavern like website and I’ve been pondering the idea for quite awhile. Five months away from all things WordPress has provided some much needed rest, distance, and a bit of clarity.

A lot of things have changed in the WordPress ecosystem since I started covering it in 2007. While the thought of independence and building something from scratch again is scary and exciting, I have a few questions.

The first is similar to one I asked in 2008. Should I start yet another site devoted to WordPress? Is one necessary or needed?

Prior to being hired to work for the Tavern full-time, I was asked to write a proposal on where I saw the site going in the future. Here is a snippet from my proposal.

WPTavern needs to reinvigorate itself as a place where ALL are welcomed and ALL can participate. Those two principles were a large reason for the initial success of the website.

This mindset would be the foundation of the new site. Between comments and a forum, I would create a place where WordPress folks can gather and feel welcomed. Where collaboration is encouraged, and we as a collective group could work to make WordPress better. Sure, there are plenty of Facebook groups and other watering holes that exist, but nothing beats a well managed forum.

I’d bring back the weekly podcast of course which would cover WordPress topics and what’s going on with the site.

I believe I could get webhosting, and other aspects of the site for a discounted price or for free thanks to the relationships I’ve built over the years.

One of the biggest issues is income. My two largest bills each month is the Car $375, and Mortgage $770 payment. I’d need some immediate financial support from individuals or businesses in the WordPress space to take care of these bills for a few months to provide enough time to bust my ass and get the site rolling.

I don’t want sponsorship as I don’t want to be tied to any specific company in order to maintain independence. I’m hopeful that individuals and companies would look at the funding as contributions. I plan on having a page on the new site that lists contributors who contribute a certain amount or more.

As far as the domain goes, I have no idea on what to call the new site. WP Tavern was perfect because of what a Tavern provides. A place to gather, talk, and hang out with the occasional bar brawl. This is the friendly atmosphere I want to establish with the new site. I’d like to hear suggestions and ideas on domains that are related to what I described above.

If there is not enough interest or I can’t muster up some financial support upfront, I’ll pass on the idea and get my butt back into the physical workforce. But the thoughts of sitting on my patio in the summertime managing an awesome community around WordPress is pretty enticing. It would take a lot of work and effort to get the new site up to the level of the Tavern but I know I could make it happen and I know I wouldn’t have to do it alone.

This is simply an idea that’s rough around the edges. Let’s talk about it in the comments below.

I’ve been writing about WordPress since 2007. That’s when Mark Ghosh, founder of WeblogToolsCollection.com contacted me based on the WordPress articles I was publishing on my personal site and asked if I’d like to be paid to write for him. Two years later, I founded WPTavern.

It is weird to be closing this chapter of my career as the Tavern has only been my second place of employment and WordPress has been part of my daily routine for 12 years. At the same time, I’m hopeful for a fresh start, something new where I feel like I’m performing purposeful work.

As for WordPress Weekly, the goal is to finish updating the archive so that all of the episodes are available. I will not be recording any new episodes.

I’d like to thank everyone who has followed and supported my work over the years. I’d especially like to thank Matt Mullenweg for not only purchasing the Tavern, but for providing me with such a great opportunity to continue my passion for the last five years.

I’m currently unemployed and looking for remote opportunities. I don’t know what I want to do, if I want to stay in the WordPress scene, or get out of the WordPress bubble. I’m pursuing opportunities that I come across. Feel free to pass along any opportunities you think I might be a decent fit for.

Since 2009, I’ve said goodbye to the Tavern a few times but this is the final time. What a ride these last 12 years have been.

In the last 4-6 months, I’ve been in a pretty low place emotionally, mentally, and at times, physically.

The Tavern started out as a fan site, a blog all about WordPress. A place to discuss what was happening. A place to help each other out. In the past five years, the Tavern has grown from a hobbyist blog to a place of professional journalism thanks in large part to Sarah Gooding. Sarah has done an amazing job, has a great work ethic, high standards, and has taken the site to new heights.

I have not faired well in the Tavern’s transition. In the past few years, I’ve struggled to find a place, maintain my written voice, and become more of a traditional journalist. I’ve admitted in the past that I’m not a good journalist and I still feel that way. I enjoy writing how I feel, what I think, and evolving the narrative over time. But with the Tavern becoming a more serious and professional industry source of news, that kind of writing is getting phased out.

The way in which I write stories on the Tavern now a days is akin to Ben Stein’s voice. Dry, boring, accurate, no personality, that I sometimes wonder if it could be accomplished better by AI.

One thing that I’m proud and that I’m good at is WordPress Weekly or podcasting in general. I get to be myself on the show and I enjoy talking to people about WordPress and learning about other’s experiences. I’ve had a few pep talks lately and I’m going to try expanding my reach and produce three different WordPress podcasts a week.

• The first will be a daily podcast that covers the pressing topics of the day.
• The second is WordPress Weekly
• The third will be a Friday night podcast where for one hour, I’ll invite members of the community to join me on a public Google Hangout to talk about whatever WordPress issues they want. I’ll literally be giving people in the WordPress community a chance to have their voices heard.

I’m hopeful that I’ll be able to expand the Tavern listener base while at the same time, trying to bring back some more community elements to the site. Most importantly, what these shows will do is give me a sense of purpose. Let me tell you, when you feel like you have no purpose, no sense of well being at work, it’s draining.

So, that’s what I’m working on. I realize there are already plenty of other podcasts that cover the things I mentioned above, but only one of them involves me. I’ll still be writing but I’m hoping that the podcasts provide enough time for the site to be redesigned and install some sort of community software such as bbPress. This way, I can move into community management or something and not just a writer.

I wonder about what’s inside each building, what products were made, how many people made a living working there, and what happened. At one time, the buildings were new, bustling with activity right next to the tracks. Now they’re just relics of a different time period.

Before my mind can wander off any further, it’s time to get off the train as we’ve reached our destination.