by Stacie MacDonald
In the last year we launched 5 Care Communities for 5 different foster or adoptive families. A Care Community is a small team of people who volunteer to wrap around a foster, adoptive or kinship family for a year. The team provides practical, emotional and spiritual support to the family by delivering meals, providing free childcare, running errands, praying and overall supporting the family as they face the challenges that come with parenting kids who come from hard places.
One of our Care Communities just concluded their year commitment to the family. In that year of service they were able to provide 40 meal deliveries, equaling more than 280 individual meals. They planned 5 different special outings for the young kids in the family so the kids could have a fun day and experience care and nurture from trusted adults. These events gave the parents over 20 hours of free childcare so they could attend to other important things in their lives. The team provided in-home support of cleaning or laundry over 9 times in the year. And they did additional errands regularly for the family such as grocery store runs and recycling deliveries. The team spent an estimated 35 hours total running these errands for the family. All those hours provided additional time and space for the family to do the important work of family life — connecting with each other, working through emotional pain and helping the kids on their healing journey.
These numbers are impressive but more than the quantifiable service moments, they represent something more significant. This practical care communicated to an overwhelmed family, “I see you and you are not alone.” The team’s consistency showed the family that they are valuable and their needs matter. They provided a relational, hands-on answer to some logistical & practical challenges the family was facing. And in that showing up, they modeled for the family that it is not only okay to ask for help, but it is good to live life in community, dependent on other people.
Stacie MacDonald
Support Advocate for Resource & Adoptive Families
[email protected]
by Captain Jose Arana #1176
Members of the Fullerton Police Department and myself, Captain Jose Arana, have engaged in a positive and ongoing relationship with the OC United organization and its diverse employees. The relationship between the Fullerton Police Department and OC united was developed and solidified approximately two years ago in an effort to build trust among City of Fullerton citizens. These relationships evolved as a result of continued participation with OC United employees, Spanish-speaking parents, and the youth OC United mentors. The participation between the Fullerton Police Department and OC United has included but is not limited to; weekly meeting participation, youth activities, parent with youth activities, and police department law educational presentations. The ongoing and further developing relationship between both organizations has developed trust, transparency, and availability.
In conjunction with assistance from additional law enforcement agencies, I have presented several educational topics to the OC United parents and youth in areas such as drug recognition/prevention, gang violence/prevention, school violence, school bullying, homelessness, and various subjects affecting the quality of life of members of the community.
Police officers have participated in several activities including youth sports activities which have allowed the OC United youth to further identify and connect with the police officers who were once labeled as strangers to the community.
We, the Fullerton Police Department, and I are further committed to further build on the relationship we have established with an organization such as OC United. We look forward to providing a positive impact on the community members we serve.
Thank You,
Captain Jose Arana #1176
]]>By Donna Mroz (Director, Domestic Abuse Initiative)
We met Jesse 6 years ago when his mother Melissa, an artist, came to the domestic violence support group at the police station. Melissa was a mess when she first came, sad, and depressed all the time. She left an abusive relationship where she was constantly made to feel crazy, alone, and was frequently told that she was a bad artist. Melissa’s experience is quite common – many women come to us feeling crazy, unsupported, and alone. Their abusers made them feel crazy by invalidating their emotions and making them feel isolated.
At the time, Melissa’s son Jesse was 11 years old and living in a 50/50 custodial relationship between his mom and dad. Jesse shared frequently with his mother that his dad was abusive and she shared this information with the class. She was at her whit’s end and didn’t know what to do. She was worried about her son. One day, Jesse decided to live with Melissa exclusively because he couldn’t handle being around this abusive father anymore. A court battle over the custody of Jesse began. He became anorexic, suicidal, and didn’t socialize with anyone, slowly becoming sicker and sicker. Once again, Melissa felt lost and didn’t know what to do. Things got worse during COVID particularly because of the isolation that Jesse felt.
Their situation begged the question, “How do we heal ourselves while parenting a child through multiple layers of domestic abuse?”
Jacob ended up in the hospital for 2 weeks. His anorexia became so dramatic that his heart rate dropped dangerously low. We weren’t sure he was going to survive. His anger towards his father drove him to frequently, angrily, and dramatically express his feelings against his father to his mother. Melissa was in a pickle. he didn’t want to invalidate his experience by telling him to stop sharing what had happened – no matter how triggering because of her own abusive experiences with him. However, she didn’t want to encourage the behavior either. She could easily feed into it and it might feel good, but she saw the effects of his anger and fixation slowly eating away at his health.
Every week, in the support group, Melissa cried frequently. She shared that she felt lost, didn’t know even where to begin, and knew that she needed help. She desperately wanted to support her son. As she shared, the women in the support group provided a safe and accepting community that helped her to heal. The women in the support group came with her and supported her in court and it has been beautiful to watch her gain confidence.
Melissa set a boundary and decided that one of the best ways to love her son in this was to not encourage these conversations to continue by participating or contributing to the allegations against his father. Instead, she would listen and empathize allowing him to express himself but not adding anything that could fuel the fire. She broke the cycle of abuse. Every week, Melissa returned to class to share, cry frequently, and receive much needed support. he decided to break the cycle of abuse in her family and instead to provide a structure of support and nurture to her son. Jesse eventually got out of the hospital and slowly started to gain strength.
A few days ago, we held the Night of Light (a Domestic Abuse Awareness Night and Art Show) at our office. A confident Melissa arrived to showcase her artwork and a healthy Jesse came out to support his mother. To see him come out to the event was nothing short of amazing. Today, Jesse is 17 years old, healthy, and a wrestler for his High School. When I saw the two of them arrive, especially Jesse in tow with his mother, I couldn’t hold back the tears. They were the highlight of my night.
I have one more thing to share with you about the other night. When Melissa stopped creating art she didn’t get rid of the canvases. Over the past few years, she started to paint again. She created new paintings on top of the old canvases. Melissa attributes this to the support she feels from the support group. All 20 paintings that she showcased were sold. Jesse and Melissa are healing out of their pain like a phoenix rising from the ashes.
Thank you for your dedication to the work we’re doing here at OC United. Help us continue to support women and their families exiting abusive relationships. Learn more or donate at www.ocunited.org.
With appreciation,
Donna Mroz
We knew pieces— whose family has struggled buying food, who lost family members to COVID, who has had mental health challenges during quarantine— but we braced ourselves for whatever level of pain we were going to see our kids in.
To be completely honest, our staff didn’t have the answers to most of their questions. We were in the dark along with them. Yet as each week passed, little by little, each kid began to discover what we assumed was not with us.
Within the first week the pain began to surface— insecurity over their recent weight gain, tears when reminded of their loss, or conversations about how sad they were during quarantine. There was hesitancy on all their faces, unsure of how to communicate, play, or connect with masks and social distancing.
Where there was no felt safety, they found it.
Where there were endless hurdles to connection, they chased it.
Where there was an endless shattering of our wholeness, they pieced it back together.
Our kids showed us the way forward in healing from COVID. For those struggling with their body in wake of quarantine, they discovered joy in their body. For those aching with loss, they learned to celebrate the love they had and feel the pain they feel. For those experiencing levels of emotions they haven’t known before, they saw there is a supportive community of friends and caring adults around them to walk with them through the pain. They reminded us of the unexplainable healing that takes place in safety and connection. They became living examples of the transformative process of resilience.
This is Valencia Park— resilient role models for finding wholeness in the midst of our pain.
Similarly the biblical story of Ruth, finding herself and her mother-in-law in a chaotic political period for Israel, famine, and loss of loved ones, reminds us that the story of God’s people is not far from our current reality. With all that was going on, it would have been easier for Ruth to simply cut the loose ends and start over. Ruth’s mother-in-law gave her the out— offering her the chance to leave, to return to her own people.
Yet when given the choice to leave, rebuilding from the rubble on her own, she tells her mother-in-law, “Don’t urge me to leave you or to turn back from you. Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God.” (Ruth 1:16). When placed at the crossroads of independence and interdependence, Ruth chose the latter.
It’s in immigrant communities like Valencia Park and immigrants in the Bible like Ruth that we are able to learn what it means to lean on one another, providing safety and connection so that those around us can thrive.
While the stories I shared are about elementary kids, there are endless more that the adults in the community embody just like it. It’s communities like Valencia Park and characters like Ruth that help remind us what it means to be the Church.
So, with boldness and vulnerability, in the posture of our elementary students in United Kids, we encourage you to radically commit to those around you and relentlessly pursue the hope of safety and connection.
It is with these stories that we invite you to reflect the love of the immigrant communities around us, learning to depend on those around you and likewise give permission for those around you to depend on you.
Caleb Parker
Program Coordinator, United Kids & Teens
[email protected]
Thank you for supporting the work happening in Valencia Park.
Your generosity will provide supplies for day-to-day programs, building a culturally-sensitive and empowering library for kids & teens, taking steps toward our Neighborhood Empowerment Center, and creating a safe place for mentorship of kids and teens.
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from Shelby Bell and Team
of the THRIVE Program
THRIVE volunteers are intentional, dedicated, and sacrificial. Stepping into a relationship with our young adults is not always easy, but you all have jumped with two feet into the messiness of life with us.
Thank you for being willing to not just dedicate your time, but your hearts. Our young adults don’t just want your donations, they want a relationship, and that is what you all have provided. Thank you for coming and being a part of our lives. Thank you for coming and playing games and laughing with us, or coming and teaching us life skills, or sitting over coffee and listening to our stories.
Life is better shared, thank you for sharing yours with us.
of the RESPITE Program
To the RESPITE volunteers, thank you so much for how you show up for families who need to know that they are seen and valued. You exhibit compassion as you choose to come alongside families who are healing from trauma.
You show humility by taking on seemingly mundane, practical tasks for families who are overwhelmed. When you choose to slow down and truly listen to our families, you show empathy, which communicates to them just how valuable they are.
Thank you for being a supportive community to foster, adoptive & kinship families so they do not have to feel like they are doing it alone. We at OC United appreciate you!
of Jobs for Life
Jobs for Life would never be able to do what it has done without the contributions from you who volunteer in the many ways that you do.
You who are champions are the backbone of our work and success, the “secret sauce” of JfL. You consistently go above and beyond to meet the needs of our students. You meet regularly with them as friends and mentors, pray with and for them, drive them to job interviews, to hospitals and doctors. You help them purchase clothing for job opportunities, rehearse their interviews with them, walk alongside them in their tough times and offer encouragement when they were down.
You’re willing to experience frustration, excitement, disappointment, fulfillment, confusion and determination as you help them process their journeys. Your work is some of the most difficult that can be done, because it’s messy, it doesn’t always have defined edges or clear borders, because it can be tough to find success and when you do, that success may be in small measure. But you treasure that victory and hold it closely because you know it represents growth and hope. For them and for yourself. And for others who help us with logistics, with preparation for our special events, with participation on our prayer teams, thank you for what you do. The part you play makes the success of our students possible.
I thank God for each of you as you serve those who are too easily undervalued by most in our world. Your hearts reflect the heart of the Lord you follow. May God bless you as you continue to pour your lives into those who need hope, dignity and opportunity.
of United Kids & Teens
We are thankful for our United Kids volunteers because of how much love they pour into our elementary kids. On our week back, they quickly noticed their absence and began asking where each of them were by name. Our kids know that when they are around our United Kids volunteers, they’ll find caring adults that are patient when they need support, compassionate when they are hurting, and thoughtful in how they speak and interact with them.
We are thankful for our United Teens mentors and how they consistently show up to walk through life with our teenagers in Valencia Park. Our teenagers have missed them throughout COVID, jumping at any opportunity to talk with them or see them. Our United Teen mentors are listeners who hear what our teens are actually trying to communicate, compassionate in feeling our teenagers’ pain alongside them, and understanding in walking through success and challenges with our teenagers.
From our Executive Director
I just want to express my deep appreciation for the work each of our volunteers brings to our programs and events at OC United. Please know that you are at the heart of who we are. We invite compassionate and loving people to come alongside others who need a friend or hand up and together we are changed. Thank you for joining us in this great work.
– Jay Williams
]]>by Mike Carman
When we began our Jobs for Life courses at a local shelter a few years ago, one of the first questions we heard was, “Are you guys really coming back?” When we assured them that we were and asked why they posed that question, they replied, “Because other groups have come here recently, given us stuff, had their pictures taken with us and told us they’d be back. But they never returned. So we figured you were the same.” We quickly realized the distrust that had been sown by these visiting groups, and why these residents were so averse to letting us into their lives. We committed ourselves to being there in force each week and showing them by our consistent presence that we really did care. And that we were in for the long haul. Before our eight weeks together was completed, these people knew they were loved, that they had value and that we believed in them.
That understanding was not gained through the program or our teaching. It came because our people kept hammering away, constructing bridges that connected them relationally with those at the shelter. Some residents there were more than happy to mirror the efforts that they saw. Others not so much. For them, we did the heavy lifting and continued to build. We worked tirelessly to develop meaningful relationships that demonstrated our authenticity, and it paid off with almost everyone there.
Today we often speak of building bridges with and for those we would like to reach, those who might benefit from interaction or relationship with others. We see those on “the other side” and we want to come closer so we might understand them better, and they might understand us, as well. We know that a connection is valuable, and often we sense our responsibility to initiate it. By building a bridge.
As someone who has spent much of my life working with those “on the margins,” people who are often on the fringes of our culture and community, who don’t fit and therefore are too easily overlooked and underserved, I’ve given much effort to being a builder of relational bridges, and I have encouraged others to do the same. But it was only recently that I made what should have been a pretty obvious observation about all this: that as we commit to building bridges with those around us, we often do so with an unspoken, even unconscious assumption. We assume that as we work to create this connection, those with whom we’re trying to connect want it as much we do, and they are working as diligently at it as we are. That being the case, we should ultimately meet somewhere in the middle of our construction efforts. But if we don’t see that other side working as hard as we are and making equal effort, we may very well believe they don’t want it as badly. And since it doesn’t look like we’re going to meet each other halfway, we abandon our efforts and take our tools and materials to another bridge-building site that we think might have greater potential for success.
What we fail to recognize is that when we are working with people who have experienced trauma, exclusion, catastrophe or even the results of poor decision-making, we are dealing with those for whom qualities such as dignity, self-worth, and trust are significant issues. If they struggle to find value in their own lives or to think positively of themselves, they may doubt our reasons for wanting to connect with them. If others have looked past them, why wouldn’t we? Therefore, they may be reticent or not know how to construct “their side” of the bridge with us.
Understanding that kind of damaged relational dynamic can motivate us to move past the “halfway mark” of our bridge, and to keep on building connection and friendship, even to the other side. We may have to build most or all that bridge so that we can take the person there by the hand and help them take their initial steps onto it. It may be that our action to continue faithfully, even when our expectations are unmet, becomes the impetus that allows that person to believe that we really care, that we are genuine and that we mean what we say about wanting to connect with them. It may allow them to lay aside years of hurt and distrust and begin to believe that they really are worth caring about. Because they are.
This kind of bridge-building attitude should not surprise us. Those of us who follow Jesus understand his commitment to build in this very way. He didn’t come to earth and challenge us to meet him halfway. He didn’t give up on us when we failed to understand his actions or take him at his word. Quite the opposite! The Scriptures said that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. While we were still his enemies, separated from and at odds with him, he built that connection all the way to where we were and invited us to walk with him. To develop a relationship with him. To live with him, listen to him and trust him. He invested in us because even though we may have considered ourselves undeserving, he proclaimed that we were. And he proved it by using two pieces of wood to construct a bridge to take us from death to life.
Who is that person in your life that needs your bridge-building skills right now? For whom do you need to demonstrate your care and compassion by extending yourself to build, even beyond the halfway point, to create a relational connection, and with it the potential for reaffirmed dignity, renewed hope and possible healing? Will you keep on building, even if you have to do some heavy lifting and invest more time and effort than you may have originally anticipated? The needs are many, the stakes are high and the builders are few.
And someone is waiting on the other side for you.
]]>by Heather Macleod
Do you remember your favorite birthday party? What stood out to you the most about that party? Was it the food? Was it the decorations? Maybe it was a favorite gift you received or a surprise guest that came you weren’t expecting. I can tell you from personal experience, it wasn’t the gift or food that I remember. It was the thoughtfulness that went into choosing the gift or the way that I felt seeing that someone picked my favorite foods that has stuck with me through all the years. It was the feeling that I was known and chosen to be celebrated.
One of the greatest honors in academia is getting to celebrate the hard-fought victory of college graduation; walking across the stage, hearing your name called and knowing that those who love you are in the crowd cheering you on. This is a long-awaited rite of passage that 2 of our THRIVE girls did not get to experience this year. Diana and Jenna* both earned their bachelor’s degrees, and pre-covid, were counting down the days to their graduation walk. But it could not happen this May. The days leading up to graduation were bittersweet, as the joy of being done was finally a reality; the frustration of not being able to celebrate with the people they love dominated the day.
Our men and women in the THRIVE program work so hard. They not only attend our required meetings and OCU events but are active in their schools, jobs and communities. Many of our residents have had to overcome challenges that their peers have not had to: abuse, homelessness, financial insecurity, loss of family and a variety of other things. Not getting to walk at graduation, well sure, it’s a bummer for everyone, but for our girls, it’s another loss added to a long list of losses.
As a team, we determined that even amidst the disappointment, graduation day would be a celebration!! We celebrated with carefully chosen food (with good vegetarian options for Diana). Flowers and balloons (because Jenna loves balloons). Cheesecake (but not the fancy kind, the regular kind because that is what their favorite is) and homemade cookies. We were able to provide a space for a couple of loved ones to speak about the graduates. It wasn’t about the details of the party, it was about the love poured into each element, because these girls are so worthy of being loved and celebrated.
I hope that when these women look back on this strange graduation day, they feel the warmth and love poured out onto them. Because when I look back on Covid-19 and the year 2020 of course I will remember loss, but I will celebrate the gains. Getting to know the women in THRIVE, walk along side of them and be invited into their lives, well, that is worth CELEBRATING. My life is forever touched by the lives of these women. I know as they go out into the world and their chosen professions they will be conduits of love and agents of change.
Congratulations Class of 2020!
May you know you are loved and celebrate those around you well.
*names have been changed for privacy*
]]>Rotary Club of Fullerton: Project Shield
Community Spotlight
A huge thank you to both Dan and Susan Ouweleen for their exceptional leadership to oversee the Project Shield effort that began mid-March in response to a conversation with St Judes and their needs for protective masks.
The Rotary District 5320 collectively raised $132,658 to purchase enough products to assemble 67,000 face shields that were distributed to hospitals, senior centers, and local businesses. The project had 787 volunteers from multiple cities, 159 coming from Love Fullerton sign ups, and they offered 3,919 volunteer hours.
Dan & Susan, great job for stepping up and leading our community into this great response.
Thank you to all Volunteers and Rotarians for accomplishing the following
Volunteers participated: 787
Volunteer Hours: 3,919.30 hours
Total Monies raised: $132,657.95
Face Shields made: 67,000
Clubs participating from District 5320: 42
Other Districts and Clubs building Face Shields: Utah, Arizona, Monterey CA, South San Francisco
Read more here: https://rotary5320.org/covid19/
Volunteer of the Month
Alexis came to OC United as a senior looking to graduate from Biola with a Marketing degree. She came as a Love Fullerton Intern and also worked with our Marketing and Communications to complete her senior Marketing project.
What drew us in was her compassionate heart for those in our communities who are struggling as well as her experience working in under-resourced communities. She did an excellent job with our social media posts and also was working on organizing and planning for some community projects specifically working with a few of our cities mobile home parks.
Alexis is so friendly, easy going and cooperative it was a pleasure to work with her even though when Covid-19 hit in mid-March, our event was postponed and we had to pivot and essentially direct all our Love Fullerton efforts to serve our local community and help it to respond to needs based on the pandemic.
Alexis jumped into online programming with our Neighborhoods team from the very start of COVID-19. For 30 minutes, 5 days a week, for the past 10 weeks, Alexis has shared a little of her passion with kids by teaching them dance, even after her official internship had ended. From freeze dance to viral TikTok dances, Alexis shows up each day looking to give all of herself to the kids in front of her screen.
There is a freedom that the kids find when Alexis logs on to our Zoom meeting each day, as her work with our kids has slowly built a new level of confidence in each of them. Alexis brings joy, a listening ear, and a pure fun in the moments she spends with our kids. Their quarantine was made better because of her care for them.
Thank you Alexis for being a part of OC United, we know you will be an irreplaceable part of whatever company or organization is lucky enough to have you.
– Brandon, Jay, Caleb and the rest of the OC United Team
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