Awards season may not seem like the most obvious place for a woman in her 60s to look for fashion inspiration. After all, much of the coverage focuses on young starlets in gowns that appear designed more for spectacle than for real life. And most of us are unlikely to find ourselves invited to anything resembling the Oscars, the Tony’s, a royal coronation, or the Met Gala.

Still, that doesn’t mean the red carpet has nothing to offer in terms of style inspiration.

While the average week might revolve around errands, dinners with friends, or travel plans, formal occasions do still appear on the calendar. A black-tie wedding, a fundraising gala, a milestone anniversary party, or a retirement celebration can call for something a little more glamorous than our usual rotation. When those moments arise, the red carpet can be surprisingly useful, not as something to emulate exactly, but as a place to gather ideas.

Fashion Inspiration Is Everywhere

I have always treated fashion this way. Inspiration is everywhere if you’re paying attention. A woman crossing a city street in a beautifully cut coat can spark just as much curiosity as a designer gown sweeping across a red carpet. I tend to watch awards season with the same mindset. I don’t have a desire to copycat any of these high-glam looks, but I do feed my fashion fever by noticing color combinations, silhouettes, and styling details that I can translate into real life.

Women Who Understand Elegant Presence

In recent years, some of the most interesting lessons have come from actresses who are well past the ingénue stage and clearly enjoying the freedom that comes with it. Kathy Bates, Jean Smart, Diane Lane, Helen Mirren, Meryl Streep, and Jamie Lee Curtis have all mastered the art of red carpet dressing that blends style with dignity and unmistakable presence.

What makes their approach so refreshing is that none of them appear to be chasing trends or competing with women half their age. Instead, they lean into elegance with a sense of playfulness. Helen Mirren might appear in shimmering metallics or rich jewel tones that highlight her silver hair.

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A post shared by Helen Mirren (@helenmirren)

Diane Lane often favors beautifully tailored gowns that feel timeless rather than theatrical. Jean Smart has a knack for sophisticated silhouettes that suggest quiet confidence rather than showmanship.

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A post shared by Jean Smart (@realjeansmart)

Jamie Lee Curtis brings a slightly edgier sensibility to the carpet, often opting for sleek, sculptural designs or sharply tailored pieces that emphasize structure and strength.

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A post shared by Jamie Lee Curtis (@jamieleecurtis)

And then there is Meryl Streep, who has long understood something many women quietly appreciate: sometimes the chicest accessory in the room is simply being yourself. She has appeared on red carpets wearing her glasses, an understated gesture that signals comfort with who she is rather than adherence to some imagined Hollywood rulebook.

Glamour Without Overexposure

Collectively, these women offer a useful reminder that glamour does not require overexposure. In fact, the opposite is often true. A beautifully cut gown, a dramatic sleeve, a column of saturated color, or a perfectly tailored suit can deliver far more impact than a dress engineered around cutouts and plunging necklines. Elegance comes from proportion, fabric, and confidence.

Translating Red Carpet Style into Real Life

For women in their 60s and beyond, this is where the red carpet becomes genuinely instructive. The luxurious velvet seen on awards night might translate into a velvet jacket worn to a winter gala. A sleek tuxedo-inspired ensemble could easily become the perfect outfit for a charity dinner, or the jacket, worn with jeans and a white t-shirt, can upstyle an everyday look. Even a bold color choice like magenta, aqua, or tangerine can inspire ways to refresh favorite outfits.

Accessories offer another easy translation. Awards season jewelry is rarely subtle, but its spirit works beautifully in everyday dressing. A striking pair of earrings or a sculptural cuff can transform a simple outfit into something memorable without requiring head-to-toe reinvention.

A Little Permission to Dress Up

What the red carpet ultimately provides is not a dress code but permission. It reminds us that dressing up can still be joyful, expressive, and a little theatrical when the occasion calls for it. Watching high-profile women of a certain age step onto the carpet with poise and personality makes it clear that style does not fade with age. If anything, it becomes more interesting.

So, when awards season rolls around, I grab a glass of wine, settle in on my comfy couch, and start thinking about what details I can bring to my special occasion dressing. I notice the silhouettes that feel elegant rather than excessive, the fabrics that move beautifully, the colors that seem to glow under the lights. Those small observations eventually find their way into real life – perhaps at a wedding, a gala, or some celebratory evening that calls for a little extra sparkle.

If awards season glam reminds us of anything, it’s that inspiration for signature style and vibrant living can be found anywhere, if we choose to notice it. From a red carpet moment to a woman passing you on a city street, the ideas are there, waiting to be translated into something that feels entirely your own.

If you’d like a steady stream of that kind of inspiration, check out Spark 60, my weekly dose of style, curiosity, and lived-in wisdom. Think of it as your gentle nudge to keep evolving, keep experimenting, and keep saying yes to a life that feels just a little more brilliant.

Also read 2026 Style Reset: How to Build a Capsule Wardrobe at 60 (Without Buying Everything New).

Let’s Have a Conversation:

From where do you draw outfit inspiration? Do you watch any of the award galas? What outfits have you seen that you’ve decided to replicate?

There comes a point in life when you begin to look at your story differently. Not just where you’re going, but where you’ve been.

The choices you made. The roles you played. The responsibilities you carried.

And for many women over 60, a quiet question begins to emerge:

What does this next chapter mean for me now?

Honoring the Life You’ve Already Lived

During Women’s History Month, we celebrate the women who came before us – those who challenged expectations and expanded what was possible.

But we don’t always pause to recognize this: You are part of that history.

The way you showed up in your work, your family, and your community matters. Your life has shaped others in ways you may not even fully see.

And yet, even with all that experience, something inside may still be shifting.

Not dramatically.

But quietly.

When the Roles Begin to Change

For many women in this season, daily life begins to look different. Careers may have ended or evolved. Children are grown. Schedules are less structured.

There can be freedom in that.

But also uncertainty.

Without the roles that once defined you, a new question often arises:

Who am I now?

This isn’t a question of loss. It’s a question of expansion.

This Is Not the Epilogue

There is a common belief that later life is about slowing down or stepping back. But what if this chapter is something else entirely?

What if it’s a time to:

• Reconnect with parts of yourself that were set aside.
• Explore interests that didn’t fit into earlier seasons.
• Contribute in ways that feel more aligned now.
• Deepen relationships and personal meaning.

Not because you have to. But because you can.

Listening to What Still Calls You

One of the most powerful shifts in this stage of life is returning to your own voice.

Not the voice of expectation. Not the voice of responsibility. But your voice.

The one that may have been quieted over the years by everything you needed to do.

Now, with more perspective, many women begin asking:

What still calls to me?

The answer doesn’t need to be big. Sometimes it’s as simple as writing, mentoring, volunteering, creating, or connecting.

Or simply allowing yourself to enjoy life more fully.

A Few Questions to Consider

If you find yourself in this season of reflection, you might pause and ask:

• What parts of my life have brought me the most meaning?
• What have I learned about myself over the years?
• What would I like more of in this chapter – not because I have to, but because I want to?

There is no right answer.

Only your answer.

Still Writing the Story

Women’s History Month reminds us that history isn’t only something we look back on. It’s something we continue writing.

Through the way we live. Through the way we connect. Through the choices we make.

And no matter your age, your story is still unfolding. Not in the same way it once did. But perhaps in a more intentional way.

Because this chapter is not the epilogue.

It’s simply a different kind of beginning.

Let’s Reflect Together:

Does this resonate with where you are right now? What does this chapter of your life look like for you?

With the unseasonal warm weather for mid-March in the west of England, I was excited to be out in the garden. Due to a recent operation there were so many tasks left undone, and I was keen to get moving. Spring wasn’t going to wait for anyone!

Alas, about an hour later, I felt the familiar pain which was my body telling me to rest… or else I would suffer for the next few days. Feeling rather disappointed, I plonked myself in a garden chair, elevated my leg, pulled a warm throw over my lap and prepared to wait out my rest period, the last thing I wanted to do.

Only Something Beautiful Happened…

While I sat snuggled on the chair, a bright red Robin made its way over to me. Each hop a little closer, each move a little bolder. We looked at each other, him almost close enough to touch, me not daring to move. He cocked his head to one side, all the while singing a delightful song. We both stayed still for some time, and I like to think he gave me a cheeky wink before flying off. :)

As I watched him, I became aware of all the other bird song, each one merrily tweeting away – calling to family and friends, warning of any danger, maybe letting them know where the best food was. A little community all of their own.

Though we are some distance from the sea, there is a large reservoir close by which attracts many seagulls. Each calling in their own desperate, piercing cry. You can just imagine them calling ‘Feed me, Now!’ I love how bossy they are. :)

Though the day was warm, the clouds swept over the sun, sending brief shivers through me, before just moments later, another burst of heat warmed my grateful body, and I sank lazily into the cushions, enjoying my enforced break.

The Sound of Springtime

Just down the lane, the children were in the school playground, and I could hear shrieks of laughter, and the ever present sound of the football being kicked across the pitch. Soon it would be home time, with parents eager to hear about the day’s events and lots of hugs and kisses for mums and dads. How fast these times go! Some of my happiest memories! :)

A little further away, I could hear the newborn lambs in the field, and the sound of farmers in their tractors trundling up and down the fields. Could there be a more idyllic backdrop to spring?

The solar water feature was shooting up little fountains, and the sound of them trickling turned my head. What a delightful scene unfolded as a tiny blue tit danced at the edge of the water, its wings fluttering so as to be thoroughly clean. :)

I sat in my chair taking in everything around me – the washing gently flapping in the breeze, the birds soaring overhead, the children laughing in the school yard, the farmers driving their tractors, the lambs playing in the fields – and I realised just how very lucky I am to live in such a beautiful place.

Finding My Place

As a relatively new inhabitant of the village, this place truly warms my heart. Wherever I go, people stop and say hello, the post lady calls me by my name, the garage drops me off when they service my car. I have a handyman who lives close by, who is happy to change my high lightbulbs or put up a shelf, sometimes without even wishing to charge.

My rest period was almost over but my 30 minutes had recharged me, not only physically, but emotionally. It reminded me of all the things that are really important to me… most of them free. We can get so caught up in what needs to be done, that we forget to just sit back and enjoy it.

As I got up to resume my work, a dark cloud was on the horizon and rain was on its way. Instead of feeling frustrated, I packed my things away for another day. 

I took myself inside, made a nice cup of tea and cut a slice of homemade fruit cake. Then gently sank into the armchair by the fireside. Looks like I am in for another beautiful 30 minutes.

Well, there’s always tomorrow! :)

Join the Conversation:

Do you take time to enjoy your surroundings? What do you like to notice? How does nature make you feel? What makes you stop and notice the beauty around you?

Every March, during Women’s History Month, we celebrate women who made history: pioneers, activists, leaders, and trailblazers whose names appear in books and documentaries. Their contributions deserve recognition. But as someone who works in the funeral profession and also serves as a life coach, I often think about another group of women whose strength rarely makes headlines.

They are not famous. They are daughters, wives, sisters, mothers, and friends. Yet in some of life’s most difficult moments, they quietly become the emotional center holding everyone else together.

Working around death gives you a different perspective on people. And one thing I have seen over and over again is this: when grief arrives, women often step forward first.

The Women Who Step Forward

In the days following a death, someone has to make the calls, gather the photos, meet with the funeral director, and begin the process of saying goodbye. Very often, that person is a woman.

She is the daughter arranging the service while comforting her siblings.

She is the widow greeting visitors with grace even when her own heart is breaking.

She is the sister organizing the details so everyone else can focus on remembering.

In my work, I see women quietly become the emotional anchors of families during loss. They manage the logistics, absorb the emotions of others, and hold space for grief in ways that are rarely acknowledged.

This kind of strength rarely appears in history books, but it is everywhere.

When Death Was Women’s Work

One of the things many people don’t realize is that historically, death care was women’s work.

Long before funeral homes existed, death happened in the home. Women were the ones who cared for the body, washed it, dressed it, and prepared it for burial. These women were sometimes called “layers-out” or “watchwomen.” They cared for the dead the same way they cared for the sick: with compassion, dignity, and familiarity.

There was no industry then. No corporate structure. No formal funeral profession. It was simply part of community life.

Then the mid-1800s changed everything.

After the Civil War, embalming became more common so that soldiers could be transported home to their families. Over time, death care became professionalized. Funeral homes were established. Licensing and training programs were created.

And as the work became more structured and profitable, men increasingly dominated the profession.

In many ways, once death care became a business, it stopped being considered women’s work.

The Women Who Stayed

Even as the industry changed, women continued to lead and shape it in important ways.

One of the earliest examples was Henrietta Duterte, who became the first known woman in the United States to run a funeral home. After her husband died in 1858, she took over the family business in Philadelphia and operated it successfully for decades.

Her funeral home was not just a business. It was also a stop on the Underground Railroad, helping enslaved people escape to freedom.

Women like her proved something powerful: compassion and professionalism could exist together in death care.

A Profession Coming Full Circle

Today something interesting is happening in the funeral profession. More women are entering mortuary science programs than ever before. In many schools, women now make up the majority of students.

In some ways, the profession is coming full circle.

Women are returning to a role they historically held, not just as caretakers but as licensed professionals, business owners, and leaders in the field.

And honestly, I see that every day where I work.

The Women I Work Beside

I am incredibly lucky to work in a funeral home where women play a central role in the culture and the care families receive.

My boss, Tania, is one of those people who seems almost made for this profession. She is genuine, compassionate, and somehow manages to keep a sense of humor in a line of work where humor might seem impossible. But the truth is, you have to have it in this business. Without it, the emotional weight would be too heavy.

She has managed something that many women know well: balancing being a wife, a mother, a daughter, and a business owner, all while leading a funeral home with empathy and professionalism.

Our funeral home is mostly women, and I genuinely believe that brings something special to the environment. There is a kind of emotional intuition that happens naturally. Families often feel it the moment they walk through the door.

There is a warmth, a softness, and yes, maybe even a little estrogen in the room.

And honestly, I think that helps.

The Invisible Labor of Grief

One of the things I see most often in my work is what I call the invisible labor of grief.

After the funeral ends and everyone goes home, someone still has to deal with the paperwork, the thank-you notes, the estate questions, the endless decisions that follow a death.

Many times, that person is a woman.

As a life coach, I also see how women carry emotional responsibilities for everyone around them. They comfort others, manage family dynamics, and try to keep everything functioning even while their own hearts are hurting.

But grief does not disappear simply because we stay busy.

Eventually, every person needs space to feel their own loss.

Strength That Happens Quietly

During Women’s History Month, we often celebrate women who changed the course of history. But there are countless women whose strength unfolds quietly every day.

The woman sitting beside a hospital bed for weeks.

The daughter who manages every detail after a parent dies.

The widow who slowly rebuilds her life after losing her partner.

Working around death has taught me something important about strength. It does not always look dramatic or heroic.

Sometimes strength simply looks like getting through the day.

Honoring the Women We Do Not See

This month we will continue to celebrate the famous women whose names shaped history, and we should.

But I also think about the women who show up in funeral homes, hospitals, and living rooms every day, carrying the emotional weight of families and communities.

They are the caregivers.

The organizers.

The quiet leaders during life’s hardest moments.

They may never appear in textbooks, but their strength shapes families and communities in ways that matter deeply.

And if working in the funeral profession has taught me anything, it is this: some of the most powerful forms of courage happen quietly, one day at a time.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Who do you honor during Women’s History Month? Do you only think of famous women or do you also honor those who have served quietly?

Many women expect the empty nest. They anticipate quieter homes, fewer family obligations, and more independence.

What they do not expect is the emotional shift that sometimes occurs when adult children begin living fully independent lives.

For some mothers, that shift includes distance. When it happens, many women ask themselves a painful question: What did I do wrong?

The Instinct to Revisit the Past

When relationships with adult children become strained, mothers often revisit their years of parenting with a critical eye. They remember moments they wish they had handled differently. They replay arguments from long ago. They wonder if one decision during their children’s younger years somehow damaged the relationship.

But this instinct toward self-blame often overlooks an important truth. Adult children are living complex lives shaped by many influences beyond their parents.

Adult Children Are Individuals

By the time children reach adulthood, their lives include experiences that parents cannot fully see. They form friendships, romantic relationships, and professional identities. They develop beliefs and perspectives that may differ from the ones they grew up with.

Sometimes these differences naturally create distance between generations. That distance can feel painful for mothers who spent decades deeply involved in their children’s lives. But it does not automatically mean that anyone failed.

The Emotional Trap of Guilt

When mothers believe they are responsible for their adult children’s choices, guilt can quietly take over. They begin carrying emotional burdens that do not belong to them. Then they try harder to repair the relationship, sometimes becoming more anxious and involved than their adult children want.

Ironically, this can create more tension rather than less.

A Different Way to Think About Motherhood

Motherhood does not end when children become adults.

But it does evolve.

The role shifts from guiding and protecting to something more subtle. It becomes a relationship between two adults rather than a relationship between parent and child.

That shift can feel uncomfortable at first. Yet it can also open the door to something meaningful: a relationship based on mutual respect rather than responsibility.

Rediscovering Your Own Life

Many women reach their 60s and 70s after decades of caring for others. They have raised families, supported spouses, and built households that revolved around the needs of their children.

When adult children become independent, mothers often rediscover something they set aside for years.

Their own lives.

This stage can include new friendships, travel, learning opportunities, volunteer work, creative pursuits, and personal growth.

The love between mother and child does not disappear when roles change. But mothers are allowed to continue growing as individuals as well.

A New Chapter

If you are experiencing distance from an adult child, it may be one of the most emotionally complex stages of motherhood.

Yet it can also become the beginning of a new chapter. One where love continues, but self-blame gradually gives way to clarity and peace.

If this is a season you are navigating, I created a short guide called 5 Truths to Help You Let Go with Love. It offers gentle encouragement for mothers whose relationships with adult children are changing.

Download 5 Truths HERE.

Let’s Discuss:

Are you carrying blame for a distance in your relationship with your adult child? Have you tried shrinking the distance only to see it widen?

I’m an emotional eater. When I feel anxious or bored, I reach for something sweet. It’s a distraction that constantly needs feeding. After retirement, despite regular exercise, my belly expanded, and rolls appeared around my middle.

As a travel, food, and drinks writer, overeating is an occupational hazard. Tasting food is part of the job. After much frustration, I identified habits that needed to change: eating too much bread, high-calorie snacking during the afternoon and after dinner, overconsumption of sweets, and lack of portion control.

I adopted 8 behaviors to curb overeating while at home and while traveling. Every person is different. This is what worked for me:

#1: Limit Bread Consumption

Set a limit of two pieces of bread per day. I rarely eat bread for breakfast. My go‑to meal is yogurt and berries. At lunch, I’ll have a salad or a bagel with cheese, which keeps things simple without feeling restrictive.

#2: No Snacking After Meals

Cut out snacking after dinner and choose fruit for afternoon treats. If I do want something at night, I reach for low‑calorie options like homemade popcorn. It satisfies the urge to munch without turning into a full second meal.

#3: Cut Down on Treats

Eat sweets and savory snacks in moderation. Instead of cutting out treats completely, I focus on portion size. Two Hershey’s Kisses instead of five. A handful of almonds instead of a cup.

#4: Stick to Smaller Portions

Fill half your plate with salad and keep proteins to a reasonable minimum. I like salads with lots of color: greens, peppers, cucumbers, a few craisins, and a dressing I enjoy. For protein, I’ll eat half a chicken breast and save the rest for sandwiches or another meal.

#5: Use Beverages as Snacks

Prepare tea, low‑calorie hot chocolate, or other beverages as snacks. I learned this from my daughter, who lives in Scotland. A warm drink can be satisfying, especially when I’m not hungry but want something to mark a break in the day.

#6: Work Out with Weights

Strength training makes me feel challenged and tired in a good way. It’s less about burning calories and more about building a routine that supports how I want to feel in my body.

#7: Put The Scale Away

Weighing myself every day can set off emotional eating. Daily fluctuations can be discouraging and misleading. I’ve found that stepping back from the scale helps me focus on habits rather than numbers.

#8: Don’t Eat Unless You’re Hungry

Wait until you are hungry to eat. This sounds simple, but it’s surprisingly easy to forget, especially when travel disrupts your usual rhythms. Pausing to check in with actual hunger cues has made a noticeable difference.

One moment stands out. I was traveling last month, staying in a small hotel in Vietnam with a breakfast buffet that could tempt anyone into excess: warm pastries, cheeses, cured meats, fresh bread still steaming. A few years ago, I would have treated it like a challenge. But that morning, I paused.

I filled half my plate with fruit, added a small pastry I wanted, and made myself a cup of tea. Sitting by the window, watching the city wake up, I realized I didn’t feel deprived at all.

My 8 Habits

These eight habits aren’t about perfection or rigid rules. They’re about creating small, sustainable patterns that help me, whether I’m at home, on the road, or navigating a buffet in a hotel lounge after a long travel day. One mindful choice makes the next one easier.

Mindful eating doesn’t come easy. It takes practice, and each day may be different depending on whether you’re at a family reunion with a full spread or going out for drinks with co-workers after a long, hard day at the office. I find that some days are better than others. And sometimes I fall back into old habits. The good thing is, you can always try again. Eating less doesn’t mean depriving yourself; it means making careful choices about how you want to live.

Let’s Chat:

Do you deal with emotional eating? What have you tried that helps? What hasn’t been helpful?

There’s a particular kind of silence that can come with aging. It’s not the quiet of an empty house (although that can happen too). It’s the silence that comes when someone who used to call you regularly no longer does.

Those not-so-subtle reminders sneak up on you.

• When a birthday passes without a card from the friend who never forgot.
• When you reach for the phone to share some news and remember, with a small jolt, that he or she isn’t there anymore, it can bring on a profound wave of sadness that’s difficult to shake for days (or weeks, or months).

The loss of long-time friends carries a weight that’s difficult to describe to anyone who hasn’t lived it.

The people who have been with you for years and have seen all your stages – motherhood, career, midlife, grandkids, and all the heartaches and happiness in between – are part of your life’s story.

Losing them is not just losing companionship. It’s losing a living archive of your life.

This Grief Feels Different

When you’re younger, death felt shocking and untimely. As we age, it begins to feel inevitable.

Grief in later life often has a different texture. It’s layered. It carries not only sorrow but also an awareness that time is shortening for all of us. Each loss can feel like a reminder of our own mortality.

It’s not unusual to notice a subtle anxiety humming beneath the sadness. Am I next? Who will be left?

I know addressing things this way may seem morbid and be somewhat depressing, but so many reading this will understand these feelings, even if they try to push them aside and ignore them.

The reality is that as we get older our social circles tend to shrink. Retirement alters those daily interactions, and children and grandchildren have their own busy lives.

So, when a close friend dies, it can leave a disproportionate hole. They may have been your walking partner, your travel companion, or your confidante for the kind of conversations you wouldn’t have with anyone else.

Adding to this strange and disconcerting experience of grieving someone who shared your history, when a lifelong friend passes away you can feel as though part of your own story has disappeared.

• Who else remembers that disastrous camping trip in 1978?
• Who else understands exactly what your mother was like?

These shared memories were threads of your life’s tapestry, and when a friend dies, that tapestry feels thinner.

The Emotional and Psychological Toll of Losing a Friend

It’s common to underestimate how deeply these losses affect us.

We tell ourselves, “Well, this is part of getting older.”

We try to be stoic and focus on gratitude, but beneath the surface, the emotional toll can be significant.

There are several normal, yet very tough, feelings that have to be faced. Among them are the following:

Loneliness

A growing sense of loneliness as friends pass away is common. Not necessarily because you’re physically alone, but because the quality of your connections shift.

Long-term friendships carry a shorthand sort of comfort that’s hard to replicate. Some people wonder if it’s even worth trying because starting over with new people can feel exhausting, even intimidating.

Survivor’s Guilt

• Why did she get cancer and not me?
• Why did he suffer memory problems while my memory is fine (or at least pretty good)?

These questions may linger quietly in the back of your mind, even if you rarely voice them.

Anxiety

After attending several funerals, every ache and pain can feel ominous. A routine medical appointment may cause unexpected fear.

Even if you’re in relatively good health, watching peers decline can make the future feel uncertain.

Depression

For some women, the cumulative grief can push them toward depression.

Motivation can wane, and social invitations might be declined because it feels easier to stay home than to risk investing in new relationships. This starts to make the world feel smaller and narrower.

Shame

You’re alive and are generally healthy. You should be thankful. Right?

Because this stage of life is often framed as “the golden years,” there can be shame around feeling sad.

You may think, “I should be grateful. I’ve had a good life.”

But it’s important to understand that both things can be true – gratitude and grief can coexist.

One of the most painful aspects of losing long-time friends is the disappearance of shared history. When they die, you may feel lost. It’s not just that you miss them – it’s that a mirror reflecting your life has gone dark.

Identity Crisis

Newer friends may know the polished version of you, but not the raw chapters.

They didn’t see you before you learned hard lessons, and they don’t know the inside jokes formed in hospital waiting rooms or PTA meetings.

This can create an identity shift.

There’s also the practical reality – as friends pass away certain routines may change. The monthly lunch group shrinks or the holiday cookie exchange fades. Traditions tied to specific people can dissolve almost overnight.

It’s no wonder the grief that comes with losing friends feels different, cumulative, and heavy.

Ways to Cope with the Loss

Sadly, there’s no way to sidestep grief, and it’s actually unhealthy to try. But there are ways to soften its sharpest edges.

Allow Yourself to Mourn – Fully

You don’t need to minimize your pain.

A friend of 40 years is not “just a friend.” She was the family of your choosing.

• Cry
• Talk about her
• Write down memories
• Share stories with others who knew her.

Lean into all the feelings and exhaust them. She (or he) is worth your tears and your grief.

And keep in mind that grief that’s acknowledged tends to move on, while grief that is buried tends to sit with you and weigh you down.

Preserve the Shared History

Create a remembrance. For example,

• Photo albums
• Journals of shared stories
• A recipe book with your shared favorite dishes

Are all ways to record these memories and honor both her life and your shared past. These can also be things younger family members may treasure for years to come.

Stay Connected

When you lose a friend, it can be tempting to withdraw, but isolation can deepen the sadness. So, aim for regular connection to others – a weekly coffee date, a book club, a church group, or volunteering are all small, consistent things that can anchor you.

If mobility or transportation are an issue, even regular phone calls or video chats can help.

Connection doesn’t have to be in-person to be meaningful.

Take Care of Your Body as Well as Your Heart

Grief is psychological, but it’s also physical. It can disrupt sleep, appetite, and energy levels.

Try to maintain basic routines like regular meals, exercise, and time outdoors. A daily walk, even around the block, can clear your head and reduce anxiety.

Seek Support Without Shame

If,

• Sadness lingers for months
• You find yourself losing interest in nearly everything
• Anxiety feels overwhelming

Speaking with a counselor can be profoundly helpful.

There’s no age limit for therapy. In fact, this stage of life can bring complex emotions that deserve careful attention.

Support groups can also provide comfort. Being in a room (or virtual room) with those who can relate can feel like a lifeline.

Giving Space to Both Grief and Gratitude

Perhaps the hardest and most beautiful truth is this:

The depth of your grief reflects the depth of your connection and love. You would not hurt this much if those friendships hadn’t been great or extraordinary.

In the later years, we are asked to hold two realities at once:

1. We grieve what is gone and miss the voices that have gone silent, and
2. We cherish what remains while we listen more carefully to the voices still speaking.

If you’re balancing grief and gratitude, know that your sadness makes sense – so does your joy.

Losing long-time friends is not a small thing. It’s one of the great sorrows of aging.

But it’s also a testament to a life well-lived – a life rich with shared laughter, profound experiences, and hard-won wisdom.

The phone may ring less often, but the love, memories, and stories remain, and no passing can take those away.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Have you been dealing with the grief of losing close friends? If you’ve lost life-long friends and have learned how to cope, share your story and please join the conversation.

Although I live in Canada, I am spending more and more time in London, England with my kids and first grandchild. They live in Southwest London, and this year I sought out something called a “Walk and Talk” in Wimbledon Park. I loved the simple experience so much that I’d like you to know about it too.

The Walk and Talk Movement in London

One of the first people I got to know on my Walk and Talk was lovely Fiona who has been going to this Walk and Talk for years. I asked her if she would come on my podcast to say why she likes it and what it is. Fiona demurred, and suggested I speak with the founders of the Walk and Talk movement in London.

Fiona set up my connection with Alison Palmer. Alison does many things, including starting and running peer led book clubs in schools. The older kids get trained in presentation skills, the younger kids get books to read, and it is a really good way to get books into a social setting. I could see that Alison is an expert in social connection and action. I could see the transferable skills to starting a Walk and Talk.

So on my podcast, Your Outside Mindset, I interviewed Alison Palmer, about starting the Walk and Talk movement in Wimbledon Park, which has since expanded to multiple locations and attracted thousands of participants. 

As a Complete Outsider, My First Walk and Talk

First, let me give you my observations as a complete outsider who was just looking for an adult friend in London. I really am there to spend as much time as possible with my family but just needed something for me alone for a few hours.

I looked on the website and found where the meeting place was (off to the side of the café) and the simple instruction to look for some people in green T-shirts. There was no registration required at all – just a set time of 10:30 every Saturday, rain or shine. This fit my need for a few hours away from family, but not too long. I felt kind of awkward going alone but did it anyway.

I Just Showed Up

I showed up on time and immediately saw a group of about 15 people with varying degrees of mobility. Each one greeted me with a smile. I felt at ease. With lots of laughter we ambled off on our way around the park, chatting as we moved. People moved at their own pace. There was no rush. It was delightful. Here I was connecting with kind and happy-to-be-outside and moving individuals with no agenda but to walk and talk. Refreshed is how I felt.

And at the end of the hour or so I was invited to tea at the park’s bowling club. Another lovely surprise.

The Beauty of the Walk and Talk Model

As Alison said in our conversation, the beauty of the Walk and Talk is that it is community led by volunteers, all the information is online and free, along with instructions to set up your own Walk and Talk wherever you are. Basically, it is just “getting a group of friends together to walk and giving it a go.”

Our Town’s Walk and Talk

When I got back home to my town of Pine Falls, Manitoba, I looked at the town’s local park in a new way. The Village Green, as we call it, has a level pathway around it. We got a couple of friends together and set the time of 1 pm for our Walk and Talk. And people kept joining in, more and more, so that we have the time of 1 pm everyday set. Most days someone is out there walking around the Village Green.

Creating Communities Within Communities

What all of us say about our Walk and Talk is that we like the fact that there is no texting and emailing about whether you will show up or not. Often it is so hard to get out the door, and we don’t know if we will even get out until we are outside and walking. Many of us are retired and live mostly alone so this is one carefree social interaction with friends that requires nothing of us and gives us each so much joy.

Alison shared that before developing the Walk and Talk they noticed that people will smile and acknowledge others who are walking with dogs or babies but not so much older people walking alone. They wanted to make something simple that people would just join in with. They wanted to have the set time on weekends because weekends can be really lonely for all people – working and retired. Alison urges you to take the model and make it work for you.

Let’s Keep the Conversation Going:

Would you consider asking a couple of friends to walk in a nearby park together? Would you enjoy just walking and chatting together about nothing in particular? Do you have a regular walking practice that you do alone and with others?

Not long ago, a reader shared something that stayed with me. She said, “My home is the most valuable thing I own, but I’m not sure what actually happens to it when I’m gone.”

It was not a gloomy conversation. In fact, she was healthy, active, and enjoying retirement. But like many women, she wanted clarity not for herself, but for the people she cared about.

Her question reflects something many homeowners eventually realize: our homes often hold a large part of our wealth, yet we rarely talk about how that wealth fits into estate planning.

When housing wealth is involved, thoughtful planning can help ensure that your wishes are respected and that the people you care about are not left with confusion or difficult decisions.

Why Housing Wealth Changes Estate Conversations

For many women, the home is more than a place to live. It represents stability, independence, and decades of memories.

Financially, it often represents something else as well as a significant portion of total net worth.

This means estate planning is not only about bank accounts and investments. Housing decisions can influence:

• What heirs inherit,
• How smoothly an estate is settled,
• Whether loved ones face unexpected financial responsibilities,
• The timing and complexity of legal processes.

Understanding how housing wealth fits into the broader picture can make a meaningful difference.

The First Question: What Do You Want the Home to Represent?

Before looking at legal or financial strategies, it is worth reflecting on something simpler:

What role do you want your home to play in your legacy?

For some women, the answer is clear: they want the house to remain in the family, if possible. For others, the priority is ensuring their heirs receive financial value rather than the property itself. And for some, the goal is simply to enjoy their home fully during retirement without worrying about preserving it as an inheritance.

All of these perspectives are valid. What matters most is clarity about your intentions.

Understanding the Practical Side of Housing in an Estate

When a homeowner passes away, the home typically becomes part of the estate. What happens next depends on several factors, including ownership structure, debts tied to the property, and the wishes outlined in legal documents.

Some common outcomes include:

• Heirs keeping the home and living in it or renting it.
• Heirs selling the property and dividing the proceeds.
• The property being transferred through a trust or estate process.

When these possibilities are discussed ahead of time, families often navigate the transition with far less stress.

Communication Matters More Than Many Realize

One of the most common challenges families face is not financial, it is communication.

Loved ones may have very different expectations about what will happen to a home. Without conversation, those assumptions can lead to confusion or even conflict.

A simple discussion can prevent that.

Talking openly about questions such as:

• Who might want the home?
• Would selling be easier for everyone?
• How might maintenance or taxes affect heirs?

can help everyone feel more prepared.

Estate planning isn’t about predicting the future, it’s about giving the people you love clarity when they need it most.

The Emotional Side of Housing Decisions

Homes carry stories.

They hold birthdays, holidays, quiet mornings, and everyday moments that become memories. That emotional connection can make estate conversations feel difficult.

But planning ahead does not diminish those memories. In many ways, it protects them.

When decisions are made thoughtfully and communicated clearly, families can focus on honoring a legacy rather than navigating uncertainty.

A Gentle Planning Checklist

If housing wealth is part of your estate picture, these questions can help guide your thinking:

• Do I understand how my home is titled or owned?
• Have I clearly stated my wishes for the property in my estate documents?
• Have I talked with family members about those wishes?
• Would my heirs be comfortable managing the home if they inherited it?
• Have I considered whether selling the home might ultimately be simpler for them?

You do not need every answer immediately. What matters most is beginning the conversation.

The True Goal of Estate Planning

Estate planning is not about preparing for the end of life. It is about creating clarity and caring for the people you love.

When housing wealth is thoughtfully considered, it can become part of a legacy that reflects your values, your priorities, and your life’s work.

And sometimes, the greatest gift you can leave behind is not the house itself, it is the peace of mind that comes from knowing everything has been thoughtfully arranged.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Have you planned what will happen with your home after you pass on? What do your heirs think would be the best decision? Have you had this important conversation?

I don’t know about you, but as I get older, my tolerance for small talk decreases. In my active career days, I used to be in a profession in which schmoozing was important. I often took CEOs of public companies out to dinner to discuss their business goals. I advised many management teams and formed meaningful relationships with the investment community. Trust me when I tell you, a lot of small talk was involved.

Lower Tolerance for Idle Chit Chat

Now, however, I find that my tolerance for idle chit chat is not very high. I don’t know if I am all talked out, or if I just rather be spending my time having more significant conversations with people who are more important to me.

I noticed this pattern developing back at the start of the school year. There is an annual coffee for parents at my son’s school. I didn’t go. The thought of hanging around for 1.5 hours discussing how our summers were and which classes our kids were taking this year just didn’t appeal to me.

More recently, there was a gathering of my condo community in order for all the neighbors to get to know each other better. I didn’t go to this either. Anyone I want to know, I already do and am in contact with. Bah humbug!

More and more often, I find myself at gatherings and I can’t wait for the cocktail hour to end. I have this general feeling of wasting time, eager to move on to the main event.

Socioemotional Selective Theory

Thinking that the issue must be with me – after all, I used to be so good at small talk and enjoyed learning about other people’s interests – I did some research and, no, I’m not alone. Evidently, Socioemotional Selectivity Theory is at play.

Sounds scary, doesn’t it? It’s not. Basically, priorities change throughout our lifetime and as we age, we have a tendency to want more meaningful relationships and have less tolerance for shallow interactions. I am not so unique and am experiencing what many others do at my age: taking an inventory of one’s life and focusing on what really matters. This is just another result of aging that I didn’t see coming. Turns out, I’m not a total narcissist; I just value my time.

Not everyone experiences this, and I actually have one friend whose social life has expanded as she got older. Other friends have reinforced the notion that one’s friend circle gets smaller as you age.

The Value of Time Becomes More Prevalent as We Age

I don’t want to be rude, but my time is valuable. That wonderment I experienced as a young adult has definitely lessened, and I am finally realizing that I don’t need to be the life of the party, nor have many invitations. Being active in activities that I enjoy, having a tight group of friends, and being healthy are all I need to be happy and productive.

So, the next time you are bored in a conversation, by all means excuse yourself. Small talk is just that – small, polite conversation about unimportant or uncontroversial matters (that is the actual definition from a dictionary). If the topic interests you, that’s great, if not – don’t feel bad walking away in order to participate in something that you find more compelling. In the spirit of Joan Rivers, if someone asks, “Can we (small) talk,” don’t feel bad if you simply don’t want to. At our age, we have earned that privilege.

Also read I’m Having an Issue with Growing Old.

Let’s Discuss:

Do you find yourself becoming more of a wall flower as you get older or are you still the life of the party? Have you noticed a shift in your behavior in social settings?

Standing at the terminal on a recent trip to Japan, I faced a small but nagging question: Should I pay an extra $70 each way to select my seat? It was the longest flight I’d ever taken, and I wanted to arrive as comfortable and pain-free as possible.

Depending on when you booked your flight, it is possible to see whether the flight is full by checking the airline’s seat map. If the plane looks half-empty, I will often take my chances. But if only a handful of seats remain, that’s usually a sign the flight will be full, and it may be worth paying to secure the seat you want if there’s still one available.

When you are a 60+ aged traveler, sometimes comfort trumps cost, but when you are traveling on a budget, how much is too much? After all, what you are really paying for is the ability to avoid the dreaded middle seat or being stuck so far back in the plane that it takes forever to disembark.

Sometimes that extra cost is worth it. Sometimes, it isn’t.

Here are five things to consider before pulling out your credit card.

#1. How Long Is the Flight?

For flights of one to three hours, most people can tolerate a little discomfort. Unless you are particularly tall or have mobility issues, it’s usually manageable.

But after about 90 minutes, many travelers start to feel the discomfort with aching joints, stiffness and a need to go to the restroom.

On longer flights, being able to get up easily or stretch your legs can make a real difference. The right seat may even determine whether you get any sleep at all.

#2. What Kind of Flyer Are You?

Some people simply tolerate the middle seat better than others.

If you’re average size, rarely sleep on planes, and tend to settle in without getting up much, the middle seat might not be a big issue for you.

But if you’re someone who needs space, moves frequently or values personal comfort, the extra fee for seat selection may be well worth it.

#3. Do You Need to Get Off the Plane Quickly?

If you have a tight connecting flight, seat choice can matter a lot.

Passengers seated toward the back of the plane can wait a long time before they are able to disembark. Meanwhile, those precious minutes tick away as you watch everyone ahead of you slowly gather their bags. This becomes more important if you have to go through immigration. Suddenly, a planeload of people is in front of you.

In that case, paying for an aisle seat closer to the front may save you a stressful (and painful) sprint through the airport. However, if you are like me and prefer to wait until everyone else has disembarked, where you sit is less important.

#4. Do You Love Window Views?

For some travelers, the window seat is part of the magic of flying. Looking out at the clouds or the landscape below can make the experience more enjoyable. For nervous flyers, it can also feel reassuring to see what is happening outside the aircraft and make you feel more grounded.

In that case, it may be worth the extra cost.

#5. Do You Need to Stretch or Get Up Frequently?

If you find yourself getting up regularly to stretch your legs or visit the restroom, an aisle seat can make the flight much easier.

There’s nothing worse than having to climb over two sleeping, disgruntled passengers every half hour or so. Aisle seats give you the freedom to stand, stretch and move without disturbing anyone. This may be important if you have problems with blood flow in your legs and need to walk up and down often to avoid cramping.

My Own Seat Gamble

The second leg of my flight to Japan was 14 hours. Since I was traveling on a tight budget, I decided to take my chances and skip the $70 seat fee.

On the way there, I got lucky and ended up with a window seat on a completely full flight. Even though I was unable to sleep, the fact that I could lean against the window and grab some much-needed extra room was handy. Also, only having one neighbor to contend with lessened the fight for the armrest and the invasion on personal space. As it turned out, the flight was long but comfortable, and I was glad that I had been able to save the money.

On the return trip, I was assigned a middle seat but asked to be moved. My new seat had extra legroom and was an aisle seat next to a young mother and her two small children. Fortunately, the kids were wonderful. It was a night flight, and they barely made a sound, so the trip home turned out just fine once again, saving the additional fee.

A Compromise Option

There’s always a middle ground. You could pay for seat selection one way either to start your trip with a little extra comfort or to make the journey home more pleasant.

And remember: there’s one in three chance you’ll get lucky and land a window or aisle seat without having to pay. Hopefully, towards the front of the plane.

You can also try asking politely at the gate if any seats have opened up. Sometimes passengers don’t show up, and gate agents can reassign seats.

As in most things in life, asking nicely goes a long way.

Read more about my trip Solo Trip to Japan at 66? These 5 Apps Made It Stress-Free.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

What about you? Do you usually choose your seat or take your chances and hope for the best?

Is it possible that the best way to accelerate your dream lifestyle into reality is to slow down your current lifestyle? If so, how would you do this?

The answer is simple: inner reflection.

Inner reflection is where you can not only silence lingering fears or doubts about life after 60, but it is also where you begin mapping out your dream lifestyle.

But how do you actually create a roadmap to your dreams? And with so many distractions and responsibilities in your life, where do you find time to slow down and engage in inner reflection?

We will answer these questions in our fifth article and video in a new, 10-part exclusive series for Sixty and Me readers titled “Visualize a Vibrant New Lifestyle After 60.”

Be Open and Honest with Yourself

Reflecting on the kind of lifestyle you desire is a deeply personal process. The same holds true for the roadmap you use to get there.

To get started with inner reflection, it is necessary to create 10 to 20 minutes a day of alone time. Yes, you have the time in your life to do this.

The key to getting the most out of your inner reflection practices is the same as it is for mapping out your dream lifestyle: be open and honest with yourself.

For example, what may have been your ideal lifestyle earlier in adulthood may not be what you desire now. Accepting this and being honest with what you feel comfortable engaging in at this stage of life is essential for accelerating your desired outcomes.

Letting the Noise and Distractions Dissolve

The idea of slowing things down can be scary at first because you may be met with an avalanche of limiting belies and fearful notions of what the future might hold for you.

If this happens, trust the inner noise and distractions will dissolve if you give them time.

When you first ease into inner reflection, sit quietly and let the inner noise and outer distractions dissolve. Then, begin with visualizing your ideal dream lifestyle.

If you have a challenge with the specifics of that lifestyle, allow yourself to emotionally feel into the experience of having your dreams and desires being fulfilled.

6 Easy Steps to Mapping Your Dream Lifestyle

Mapping out your dream lifestyle doesn’t necessarily begin with a lot of physical activity or even knowing specific details. The clarity of the roadmap unfolds through your emotional experiences, which are generated during inner reflection.

As unique as your roadmap will be to you, there are six steps to creating one that are universal for all of us at this beautiful stage of life.

#1: Inner Reflection on Your Lifestyle and Desires

Start by asking yourself the following question: What lifestyle have I always wanted to live, but up to now have been holding myself back from experiencing? Consider your passions, interests, and aspirations and then journal your dream lifestyle. This is where your emotional experience helps you get specific about what you want.

#2: Set Clear Goals

Once you identify your ideal lifestyle and desires through inner reflection, break them down into clear and specific goals that will help you move closer to achieving them. Define the steps that will take you to your desired arrival point. Be aware of the milestones you want to reach along the way so you do not become distracted by things that do not serve your innermost desires.

#3: Visualize Your Dreams

Use the power of your childhood imagination to visualize your dreams as if you are already living them. Every day, use inner reflection to imagine the details, feel the emotions, and journey through experiences associated with having what you want.

#4: Create an Inspired Action Plan

Now that a clear vision of your dream lifestyle backs up your goals, you will want an inspired action plan that excites you. Break down your goals into small, actionable steps aligned with your desires. Identify people and resources you may need to support you along the way.

#5: Cultivate a Growth Mindset

A growth mindset is essential for creating your ideal lifestyle after 60. This is about removing limiting beliefs by cultivating an unwavering belief in yourself that you can not only learn new beliefs and behaviors, but that you can have what you desire.

#6: Take Inspired and Aligned Action

This crucial step does not confuse activity with accomplishment. This is not about staying busy but instead it is about staying committed and inspired despite challenges or setbacks.

Trust the Process

We all desire improvements in some areas of our current lifestyle. This six-step road map will be essential in your efforts to create lifestyle changes when and where they matter most to you.

By regularly practicing inner reflection, you can create any lifestyle changes you desire. Trust the process and believe each step you take along your journey brings you closer to fully realizing your dream lifestyle.

Next Steps

In our sixth article and video in this series, you will learn how to “Reclaim the Power to Live Your Dream Lifestyle.”

I invite you to join me in the video above, where I share “5 Immediate Benefits of Inner Reflection” and three journal prompts to help you integrate what you are learning.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Do you know what your dream life looks like? Have you mapped out the steps you need to take to get there?

Over the past few years, I have heard a quiet observation repeated by many women over 60.

Nothing dramatic has happened. Life is still good. Yet something subtle begins to shift. Activities and commitments that once felt natural start to invite reflection.

A question appears that many women recognize immediately when they hear it.

Which parts of life still belong in this next chapter?

For decades, women often carried several roles at the same time. Careers, families, friendships, and community responsibilities created structure and purpose. Those roles mattered. Many still do.

With time, however, some women notice that certain commitments continue mostly because they always have. The realization is rarely sudden. It arrives gradually, often during ordinary moments of daily life.

A lunch with friends feels slightly different. A weekly obligation no longer carries the same energy. Something that once felt automatic begins to invite reconsideration.

Why Priorities Begin to Change After 60

Many women say priorities begin to shift after 60 because perspective changes.

Earlier decades often revolved around schedules and responsibilities. Work, family needs, and community roles created a rhythm that kept life moving quickly. There was little time to step back and ask whether each commitment felt meaningful.

Later in life, that rhythm often softens. Space appears where constant motion once existed.

With that space comes awareness. Attention begins to move toward experiences that feel authentic and personally rewarding.

Small questions begin to surface.

• Does this still bring energy into my life?
• Am I here because I want to be?
• If I were choosing today for the first time, would I choose this again?

These reflections are not signs of dissatisfaction. They are signs of clarity.

Recognizing the Difference Between Habit and Choice

Several women describe a moment when they realize how much of life runs on habit.

Habits carry us through busy decades. They help families function and communities stay connected. They create reliability and structure.

Over time, though, habits can continue even when their purpose has quietly changed.

Choice feels different.

When something still matters deeply, participation tends to feel energizing. Conversations remain engaging. Time spent there feels worthwhile.

When a commitment continues mainly out of habit, the experience can feel more automatic than meaningful.

Simply noticing that difference often becomes the first step toward shaping life more intentionally.

Letting Some Doors Close

Many women mention that this stage of life involves quietly allowing certain doors to close.

For those who spent decades supporting others, this realization can feel complicated at first. Reliability and commitment were never weaknesses. They were strengths that built families, friendships, and communities.

Yet life naturally moves through seasons.

Roles that once required constant attention may gradually soften. Some obligations fade as circumstances change. Others simply no longer feel necessary.

Allowing a door to close does not erase the value it once held. It simply reflects that life continues to evolve.

Many women say they discover that letting go of one commitment often creates room for something more aligned with who they have become.

Choosing What Still Matters

As certain obligations fade, something interesting often happens.

The doors that remain open become easier to recognize.

Friendships that continue to feel nourishing naturally remain part of daily life. Activities that spark curiosity keep drawing attention. Conversations that invite reflection feel worth continuing.

Instead of maintaining everything at once, energy begins to flow toward the people and experiences that feel most meaningful.

Life becomes less crowded, yet often more satisfying.

Many women describe this period not as a loss of roles, but as a refinement of them. What remains tends to be chosen rather than inherited from earlier stages of life.

A Life That Reflects Who You Are Now

Women often describe this stage not as a narrowing of life, but as a clarification.

The years ahead may include travel, creative pursuits, mentoring, deeper friendships, or simply more time to enjoy the rhythm of everyday life. What matters most is that the choices guiding those experiences begin to reflect who someone has become.

Some doors remain open because they continue to enrich life. Others close quietly as new possibilities appear. Both are part of shaping a life that feels honest, intentional, and deeply personal.

Many women say the shift begins with a simple moment of reflection.

Some women discover that this moment of reflection leads to something even larger. A closer look at how people begin reinventing life after 60 and reshaping their daily lives can be explored in more depth here.

They pause and ask themselves a quiet question.

Which doors in my life still feel right to keep open?

Sometimes the answer brings surprising clarity.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Which doors have you closed after 60? Which doors are you keeping open? What pushed your decision in each direction?

Forget the closets for a minute. The best spring cleaning you can do this year starts with the device in your pocket. No heavy lifting, no dust, and you can do it from the couch.

Spend an intentional 30 minutes and run through my list of what to clean up on your phone. You’ll be rewarded with more storage space, less digital clutter, and maybe even a faster phone. 

Let’s Start with Your Photos

Take a moment to review the shots from a recent event and pick your best ones. Now delete the duplicates and blurry shots. Maybe even create an album to add these to so you can find them faster when you want to show one to a friend. 

You might be able to use a built-in tool to help you find the duplicate photos. iPhone automatically groups duplicate photos into a dedicated folder called “Duplicates”. It will show you the duplicates with the date taken. Tap ‘merge’ to combine identical shots, keeping the highest quality version while moving extras to “Recently Deleted”. 

Android phones use the Files by Google app to manage duplicate photos. The app scans for identical files and allows you to delete them to save space, often labeling the original. Samsung devices use a similar native feature in the “My Files” app under “Analyze Storage”.

Review Your Screenshots

If you are anything like me, these pile up quickly. But, usually, I don’t need to keep any of them long term. Look for a filter that will show you all your screenshots so you can easily review them.

Next, Look at Your Apps

Go to settingsàstorage (works on both iPhone and Android) to see which apps are taking up the most space. A good rule of thumb – if you haven’t opened an app in six months, it’s probably safe to delete it. Of course, you can always reinstall an app easily if you find you do need it down the road. 

While we are thinking about our apps, now is a good time to review apps that have access to your location, camera, microphone, or contacts. This matters for both privacy and battery life. 

Think of your phone as a filing cabinet that holds all your important records – photos, contacts, banking info, notes, location history.

Each time you install an app, it’s like hiring a contractor to help with a specific task. App permissions are the drawers you unlock for them.

If you hire someone to organize recipes, they only need access to the “Recipes” folder. They don’t need your tax returns, medical records, or family photos. If you unlock every drawer just because they asked, you’ve given away far more than necessary.

The process is simple: open only the drawer required for the job. Close it again when the job is done.

Most people hand over the whole cabinet out of convenience. You don’t have to.

App permissions affect your battery life because they determine how frequently apps are allowed to run in the background – activating sensors, connecting to networks, and pulling data even when you’re not actively using them.

Both iPhone and Android offer control over these settings in their respective “Settings” menus. Android uses a centralized “Permission Manager” and the iPhone settings can be found under the “Privacy & Security” sections.

Clean Up Your Inbox

If you did any online shopping for the holidays, you may have a buildup of emails from the sites you purchased from. Now is a good time to unsubscribe from the ones you are not reading. To clean up further, scan your inbox, find one, and then do a search so all the emails from that sender come up. You can select all of them and delete them. 

System Updates

Do you keep up with your phone operating system updates? Usually these are installed automatically, but if yours have not, you should update them now. These updates patch important security holes and are necessary to keep everything running smoothly. 

If you pick just one or two of these tasks and do them tonight instead of scrolling on your phone, you’ll feel accomplished and have a cleaner, lighter phone. And you didn’t have to get out a mop and a bucket! 

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Have you developed the habit to regularly clean up your phone? Which of the above do you do once a month?

London sightseeing adds up fast – Tower of London (£34.95), Westminster Abbey (£31), hop-on-hop-off bus (£34+). The 1-day London All Inclusive Pass bundles 90+ attractions with unlimited hop-on-hop-off bus rides (for 24 hours) and Uber Boat Thames Clippers into one price, turning ticket stress into seamless exploring. Go City® gifted mine for review, I tested if it delivers for travelers 60+ who value comfort alongside value.

Why Do People Love the Go City® Pass?

Travelers rave about skip-the-line access at the Tower of London and Westminster Abbey – “no standing forever, my knees thanked me.” The app’s digital delivery and time-slot booking eliminate paper tickets mid-ride, while 90+ choices give you food, walking or biking tours and timed entry options. If you plan well, most say the London Go City® 1-Day Pass pays for itself by lunch.

What London Sites Did I See on the Go City® Pass?

London offers many walking tours, museums and historical sites to see. With my one-day all-inclusive pass I was able to choose five options. I was more interested in visiting museums so I skipped other tourist sites though your choices may be different. I started my day at Tower of London (I made a beeline for the breathtaking Crown Jewels). If I wanted I could have taken a tour of London Bridge as part of the bundle but this was not a priority with my limited time.

At Tower Pier, you can hop onto the Uber Boats by Thames Clipper and take a quick boat ride to Westminster Pier bypassing heavy London traffic and glimpsing sights from the Thames River.

The Go City® Pass has an eligible entrance to Westminster Abbey – the location of royal weddings, coronations and christenings with a Gothic nave, Coronation Chair, and Poets’ Corner. Also on the pass, you may consider the Palaces and Parliament – Top Sights Tours for highlights of the Houses of Parliament, St. James Palace, Buckingham Palace(for the changing of the guard) and Trafalgar Square – this is a 3-hour walking tour.

You can pick up the Big Bus Hop-on-Hop-Off bus right in front of Westminster Abbey and head to the Marble Arch stop in Hyde Park for a contemporary art tour at the compact Moco Museum – Banksy stencils, Jeff Koons’ sculpture and Robbie Williams’ exhibit filled 90 memorable minutes.

Why Go City® Pass Suits Women 60+

This pass eliminates the nickel-and-dime of individual tickets while prioritizing comfort. Skip-the-line access saves energy at busy sites. Bus/boat bundle avoids Tube chaos, perfect for fatigue-free days. Flexible choices, you select accessible attractions and steep Tube stairs. One price, and a digital pass on your phone, means less planning, more time to experience the best of London.

Would I Recommend This Pass?

As an avid traveler, I’m always looking for a good deal and the London Go City® can help with that! The most important tip I can give you is you have to plan out what you want to see. With so many options, it can be overwhelming.

London is a big city with big city prices, traffic and delays. Even with the Tube and Uber Boats options, the Hop-on-Hop-off bus took forever – but it covered a lot of territory. That said, I was able to visualize which attractions are grouped together – and let someone else worry about the driving!

The Go City® website lets you experiment with different itineraries and days with suggestions on what to tackle first. (With some practice, I managed to cluster attractions that are in the same vicinity – saving time and energy.) This is a great tool to use for planning purposes and to see how much money you are saving.

The Tower of London alone justified the cost, and the flexibility to skip the London Eye or Westminster Abbey without “wasting” value kept it stress-free – a two-day pass for an additional £40 would have justified those stops. Comfortable shoes, early Tower start, digital pass on phone equals success. Perfect for London lovers who prefer substance over speed.

Go City® passes are also available for Paris, Dublin, Prague, Rome, Barcelona, and other North American and limited locations in Asia for your next adventure.

Disclosure: The London Go City® 1-Day All-Inclusive Pass was gifted to me for review purposes. No compensation was received or editorial input was granted. All opinions are my own. We were so impressed with the value that my husband and I purchased the Dublin Pass from Costco.

Read my full London itinerary on DownshiftingPRO.com.

Also read my Hotel Review: Dublin on a Budget – easyHotel Delivers.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Have you tried a City pass on any of your travels? Which city and what did you save with it? Would you recommend to the community?

A bunion is a misaligned metatarsal phalangeal joint (the joint that connects the 1st long bone of the foot to the big toe). Bunions often occur when the joint is stressed. Bunions are much more likely to form in women, primarily because women are prone to wear pointed and/or tight shoes. 

Treatment before Surgery

First line treatment for bunions is not surgery. There are many options to try before considering surgery. You can try wearing well-fitted, comfortable shoes. Using a stretching device to stretch your shoes is another option.

Cushioning where the shoe rubs against the bunion could be effective. Using a spacer between the big toe and the second toe may relieve the pain. There are splints and orthotics your physician may prescribe. If all of these options leave you still with disabling pain, surgery could be your next option.

One note: Surgery is a last resort for treatment of bunions. The purpose of surgery is to relieve disabling pain. This is not a cosmetic procedure. In fact, patients may need to wear only certain types of shoes for the rest of their life. If your physician believes surgery is your best option, there are a few different bunion surgeries that could be performed. 

Osteotomy

An osteotomy involves cutting the bones at the metatarsophalangeal joint and realigning them. Then, pins, screws and/or plates are used to keep the bones in place. Sometimes a wedge of bone needs to be removed to properly align the toe.

Arthrodesis

Arthrodesis is also called fusion surgery. This procedure is often done if there is osteoarthritis associated with the bunion. The surgeon removes the arthritic joint surfaces and then fuses the joint with screws, wires or plates. 

Exostectomy

Exostectomy is when the surgeon removes the bump from the joint. This type of surgery is not done often because it does not fix the malalignment that causes the problem. This procedure is instead usually done in conjunction with one of the other bunion surgeries. 

Recovery

After surgery, the patient is sent home with bandages in place, keeping the toe in its correct position. Proper bandage changes are essential to obtain alignment of the toe. Stitches are removed two weeks after surgery. Yet, dressing support or a brace are required for six to twelve weeks.

The foot will have to be elevated as much as possible for a few days after surgery. It depends on the type of surgery done as to how long a patient must have no weight bearing. Keeping off of the foot is accomplished by crutches or a knee walker. A knee walker is a four wheeled device where the knee is placed on a padded cushion and the patient scoots along using the healthy foot.

Following the physician’s instructions during recovery is of the utmost importance if the surgery is to be successful. The chances of bunions recurring after surgery are less than 20%. 

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Do you have bunions? If so, what type of treatment does your physician advise? Have you had bunion surgery? What was your experience like?

Outside the generous window of this restored 1800s barn apartment, twilight had settled over the Trinity Mountains. A single soulangeana tree glowed pink against the fading sunset, while the white dogwood buds waited to open in the shadows of the tall pines.

Inside, the world was warm, luminous, and alive.

We had spent the evening gathered around an ample wooden table – a piece of history that likely held a century of family stories – the pasta maker turning steadily beneath our animated conversation, flour dusting our fingers as we rolled out and cut the sheets by hand. A birthday celebration. A joyous collision of laughter and steam rising from the pots.

Cleaning Up: More than a Chore

We had eaten well: ravioli with two fillings, a pork roast that had been tantalizing the air all afternoon, sourdough bread, and a green salad. When we had each finished our piece of layered lemon cake (homemade, as it happened), the birthday girl stood and announced she was doing the dishes. I felt a sudden, fierce protectiveness over the magic we had just made.

“No,” I said, my voice firmer than I intended. “Go. Enjoy the rest of your special day. I will take care of everything. I want to do this.”

She looked at me with that playful skepticism we reserve for those being too polite, tilting her head as if weighing whether I meant it. I did. The front door shut softly, and as they strolled homeward under a brilliant canopy of stars, the barn fell into sudden silence.

I stood before a small mountain of dishes, heavy pasta pots, tangled utensils, and wine glasses still holding their crimson rings, alongside small platters dotted with golden crumbs. And in that stillness, a memory I hadn’t thought about in a long while surfaced with the clarity of a mountain stream, carrying me back south to Ukiah.

I Thought of Leeya

Seven or eight years ago, Leeya was the heart of our women’s writing circle. We met at her home monthly to read aloud our poetry and memoirs; vulnerable, raw pieces of ourselves laid out like offerings. Afterward, we shared a light dinner, the room ringing with laughter that came easily after the evening’s intensity.

Every single time we rose to help, we fluttered around her, eager to spare her the labor.

“Leeya, sit,” we would insist. “You’ve hosted us all evening. You must be tired.”

But she would always wave us away with a serene, immovable finality, her eyes aglow with a personal secret.

“No,” she would say. “I love to do this. Truly.”

At the time, I didn’t understand. I assumed it was a hostess’s politeness, an obligation inherited from customs of another era. I couldn’t fathom how anyone could find love in the grease and the scrapings.

But standing there in the Trinities, my hands slipping into warm, soapy water, the realization arrived as unbidden as the scent of wildflowers on the edge of spring.

Cleaning the dishes was more than a chore.

For Leeya, it was the final stanza of the poem.

Creating Order and Remembering the Night

As I wiped flour from the table, I realized that although I was making order, I was also savoring. With every plate I dried, a fragment of the evening returned… the way the candlelight caught the birthday girl’s blue eyes, the particular cadence of a joke told over the rolling pin, the familiar sound of 70s’ LPs from the vintage stereo.

In the hush of the kitchen, the evening unfolded once more.

Every motion – washing, stacking, arranging – pulled echoes from our togetherness into the rhythm of the room. I thought of Leeya in her kitchen, lingering in memories of our literary evening, as she moved unhurriedly through her own.

Through the window left ajar, the forest’s edge breathed March in – wet earth and the faint, sweet promise of fruit trees about to bloom.

I looked at the table, now cleared and ready for tomorrow, and felt certain that all was well in the world.

The quiet ritual of the cleanup is a gift we give ourselves. It is the bridge between the communal fire and the solitary dream. Leeya knew that the work of the hands allows the heart to catch up.

And isn’t it something – how life plants its lessons in us years before we’re ready to receive them?

As I turned off the lights in the barn, I whispered a grateful thank you to her across the years.

I’d finally understood the holiness of the aftermath.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Do you linger after gatherings to savor the evening? What does this reveal and how does it wrap up the day for you?

Blogging once felt like a niche corner of the Internet, but midlife women transformed it into something far more powerful. They’ve built spaces rooted in style, substance, humor, and the kind of wisdom only time can teach. Their blogs mirror their lives: thoughtful, expressive, grounded in experience. And as social media grew, they expanded their reach. Their Instagram feeds and Facebook pages became natural extensions of their writing, amplifying the stories they were already telling.

After decades of living, loving, losing, rebuilding, and reinventing, midlife women are proving – decisively – that reinvention has no age limit. Before the Internet, many of these women would have been invisible. Now they have a stage, and they’re using it. They’re stepping into the spotlight, shaping conversations, building communities, and refusing to fade into the background. Visibility isn’t a privilege of the young anymore. We are visible because we choose to be seen – not erased, not sidelined.

These women aren’t just participating in the online world – they’re reshaping it. Their stories ring with resilience, humor, clarity, and an authenticity that can’t be faked. They’ve lived enough of life to know what matters – and they’re finally claiming the space to say it out loud.

And let’s be honest: they look fabulous doing it.

We Embody Style

Whenever a news story refers to a woman in her 60s as “elderly,” I can’t help but laugh. The women I know – online and in real life – are vibrant, stylish, and fully engaged with the world.

Midlife style today is expressive, confident, and gloriously unbothered by anyone else’s expectations. Suzanne Smith of Crazy Blonde Life embodies this beautifully delighting readers with her clothing finds and her unapologetic embrace of personal style. She mixes old and new pieces, patterns and textures, high and low, creating outfits that feel both intentional and entirely her own.

But while her fashion sense may be what first draws readers in, there’s something deeper happening beneath the surface. It’s the freedom to be who you are – and to see that reflected in other women your age. It’s the quiet thrill of recognition, the sense of possibility that comes from watching someone live boldly and beautifully in her own skin.

A Midlife Writer’s View

As a midlife writer myself, I feel a deep kinship with these women. Something shifts at this stage of life: your voice sharpens, your priorities crystallize, and your tolerance for pretense evaporates. You stop writing for approval and start writing from truth.

My own blog, Exploring Life and Death: A Writer’s Journey, offers glimpses behind the scenes of funeral service, along with reflections from a life spent standing close to mortality. It isn’t sensational; it’s grounded in dignity – an invitation to see life more clearly. Many midlife bloggers do the same in their own way: they take the raw material of their lives and turn it into connection.

Midlife brings a freedom – a shedding of the need to please or perform. When I see these bloggers claiming space with total confidence, I recognize the same instinct that drives me to the page: the desire to speak from the center of my life, not the margins. Their presence online widens the path for all of us.

When I went looking for women who spoke to me – women who love books, fashion, travel, wellness, and the rituals that give life more meaning – I found them. Lots of them. Women who are vital, curious, attractive, and fully alive.

One of the clearest examples is Pamela Lamp, whose blog, Who I Met Today, has grown into a vibrant, curiosity-driven platform. Her interviews spotlight people with fascinating careers, unexpected passions, and rich inner lives – proof that inspiration doesn’t fade with age. Her popular podcast continues this mission of connection and storytelling. Recently, she spoke with 86-year-old Sandy Lachenauer, a former Rockette, who shared how an email she once wrote inspired The Spectacular, Fiona Davis’s historical-fiction novel.

Lamp’s journey began with a personal experiment: on her 57th birthday, she pledged to do one new thing every day for a year. That became two, and in 2024 she published Do the Next New Thing, a book born from that experiment.

Before starting her blog, she thought it was too late to develop a second career. “I never imagined in a million years I would write my book, which has led to speaking to women’s groups around the country. It has been the biggest gift,” Lamp said.

Why They Stand Out

Midlife bloggers bring something rare to the digital space: depth. Their content is infused with lived experience – career pivots, caregiving, grief, reinvention, menopause, new love, empty nests, second chances – dismantling outdated ideas about aging and showing what confidence looks like in real time.

Susan Kanoff launched The Midlife Fashionista in 2014 while juggling a demanding social work career and a side gig as a wardrobe stylist. What began as a place to share outfit ideas quickly grew into a platform centered on confidence, beauty, lifestyle, and wellness. Today, her blog has more than 2.4 million views, and her social channels reach over 44,000 followers.

Her journey includes surreal moments – like attending a Chico’s launch party and finding herself seated beside Tracee Ellis Ross and Adam Glassman, Oprah’s personal stylist. She remembers wondering if she belonged there.

“But then it hit me – this wasn’t a mistake. I was exactly where I was meant to be,” said Kanoff. “That moment taught me a powerful lesson: sometimes, the only thing keeping us from fully embracing our worth is the doubt we place on ourselves.”

Another milestone came when she and her daughter, Alyssa, were featured in Soma Intimates’ Mother’s Day campaign – a joyful experience shadowed by the leukemia diagnosis she was awaiting at the time.

The most profound turning point came in 2018, when she shared her cancer diagnosis publicly. Opening up brought a new level of vulnerability – and an overwhelming response from women who reached out with their own stories and fears. In that moment, her platform became more than fashion; it became community. Perhaps the greatest impact of midlife bloggers lies in the communities they build – safe, welcoming spaces where women feel seen, understood, and less alone.

Beyond influencing, Kanoff founded Uncommon Threads – a nonprofit that empowers low‑income women through clothing and self‑esteem workshops – rooted in her belief that clothing can be a powerful tool for confidence and empowerment. What began as a small closet in her social work office has grown into a thriving program serving more than 6,000 women in 2024 alone.

Her story is a reminder of what midlife women already know: when you step into your truth, you don’t just change your life – you change the lives of others.

A Shared Path Forward

Erica Jong once wrote about walking into a party with her 18‑year‑old daughter and realizing, with a jolt, that “she was 18 and I was invisible.” Many women know that moment. But the world midlife women are building online is rewriting that story.

Their courage fuels my own, just as my writing joins the growing chorus insisting that midlife is not a fade‑out but a flourishing.

Midlife women who thrive online aren’t succeeding despite their age; they’re succeeding because of it. Together, we’re rewriting the narrative – one post, one story, one bold act of visibility at a time.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

What blogs do you read? Are they hosted by women over 60? What do you learn from them?

Last weekend I was taking a walk, looked down at the sidewalk and saw a small black circle next to a small hole and below was a curved branch in the shape of a wide U. What I saw in total was a smiley face staring back at me.

Seeing that smiley face led me to think of current events both personal and universal.

We can all look at the same situation and see/perceive it differently. Even something simple like what I saw on the ground. I saw it as a smiley face, and you may have walked right over it.

We know that how we perceive things becomes our reality and will determine how we respond, make decisions, determine our quality of life and who we decide to have in our lives.

Different Views May Cause a Rift

I think I can safely say that in the past year, many of us have lost relationships due to the political climate. And if it wasn’t because of politics, it sure has turned the temperature up making it more challenging to begin and to have conversations.

I think we can also agree that religion and politics have always been considered topics to avoid in order to keep the peace; and especially now when differences are no longer just about policies.

Sadly, we have all seen instances where family/chosen family members have severed ties because of differing political beliefs and perceptions. Whether its politics or other issues, a question to ask ourselves is:

Is the relationship important enough to have a hard conversation?

Whether we’re talking about politics or not, when there is a chasm in a relationship, there are common pitfalls that can cause one to end:

Growing apart, having fewer things in common, major life transitions like relocating or having a new partner. It could be a perceived offense, or there may be jealous “friends” who bad mouth you in an attempt to keep you out of the picture. (And this doesn’t only happen in the 6th grade!)

Assumptions Are a Huge Roadblock

Another huge issue causing the death of relationships are assumptions.

Assuming things like: They didn’t call me so that means….

Or, If we were as close as I thought we were, she would have….

And sometimes it may be something they believe to be true, but don’t truly know or understand the entirety of a situation so they end the relationship or just disappear. Or there’s the assumption that someone doesn’t care because they didn’t do something we would’ve done. That would fall under the category of expectations, yes?

The Simple Tool: Conversation

There is a simple but not easy solution to gain clarity that many avoid… and that is to have a conversation.

Those who tend to avoid ‘confrontation’ can see a difficult conversation as just that. But it doesn’t have to be.

In the short term it seems easier to do nothing, and sometimes this is appropriate. But before 86ing a relationship, be sure that your decision isn’t based on assumptions, fear, and/or other people’s feedback.

We Need Clarity Before Acting

Hard conversations can provide clarity. Clarity to choose to end what was once an important relationship, or it can help to understand the person more and clear the way for a more meaningful and honest relationship moving forward.

If you are the friend being cut from the team without so much as a conversation, you get to decide how you will ultimately see it. Do you see it as a loss? Do you see it as providing clarity that this person doesn’t care about you enough to make the effort? You could also see it as saving you from wasting more time in that relationship.

You may grieve. You may feel relieved. You may feel all of the above at once! You may feel upset that they’re denying you an opportunity for closure, but one thing I have learned is that we must provide closure for ourselves. The other person won’t give you closure the way you need it anyway. Closure is an inside job.

Think It Through for Yourself

Yes, people are tired, angry and scared. And with all the divisiveness and chaos that we’re surrounded by 24/7, maybe our bandwidths just aren’t wide enough to handle one more difficult thing. Totally understandable, but will it be a regret down the line?

Maybe yes, maybe no. If you care/have cared for someone and are upset with them, or you’re assuming a meaning for something they did or didn’t do, or you think you know what they’ve done or not done; consider having the tough conversation. If it ends up being the time of death of the relationship, at least you’re calling it with certainty.

How we see things is up to us. The choice of who shall stay and who shall go is up to us. And if it’s not our choice, then how we move on is up to us. There is more that is up to us than we think.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Have you looked for clarity in difficult relationships? Did a hard conversation bring a resolution – either way?

I tried for years to get Tristan Gooley on my podcast Your Outside Mindset where I speak with guests about how spending time outside and noticing new things makes you feel better about yourself and the world around you.

Gooley is in great demand because he is an expert in the art of natural navigation, finding direction using only nature’s clues. I have to admit, the idea of natural navigation scares me. I have labelled myself topographically challenged. I don’t know how to navigate without my iPhone. Long ago, I gave up trying to figure out which way is north. With one exception. At our family cabin on Lake Winnipeg, our parents taught us what a north, south, or east wind feels and looks like on the lake.

A Tree Shape Can Tell You Which Way You Are Looking

In this recent book, How To Read a Tree: Clues and Patterns from Bark to Leaves, Gooley says that trees will tell us which way we are looking. All we need to do is pause and look for clues.

“Trees grow more abundantly on the side that the light comes from. At the most basic level, there is more tree on the south side. When you look at the asymmetry of a tree, this tells a story of its life. For example, an oak tree might be a bit bigger on one side – probably the southern side in Canada and SE in UK. This means that life is a little easier for the tree on that side.”

Gooley tells us that “every part of every plant (it’s easier with trees because they are bigger) is reacting to sun, wind, and water.” This helps us to understand why trees grow bigger on the south side – because they are growing out toward the light. And the opposite is true.

On the northern side of a tree there are fewer branches, and they grow up toward the sky, closer to vertical to catch the light. 

Our Ancestors Used Natural Navigation

Gooley says every part of the world has its own prevailing wind pattern. In the UK, it is SE to NW. He wants us to learn the prevailing winds in our area so that we can find out which direction we are looking by using the structure of a tree, its branches, and its roots.

Tristan Gooley shows us that the logic of natural navigation is simple and once the brain is taught, it will tell us, “North is that way.” This is how our ancestors lived. Trees respond to wind. Gooley reminds us that nothing in nature is random and that we too can become the Sherlock Holmes of each tree we look at. Everything can become a clue. All we have do is let the world wait and take the time to stop by a tree, be curious, and notice.

Read more: How Your Love of Nature Can Be a Great Conversation Starter.

Notice Tree Roots to Help You Find Your Way

In How To Read a Tree Gooley teaches us about tree roots. Here’s a clue: the side of the tree that is pushed by more wind has stronger roots; this is probably the north side. Gooley says the “to do list of roots is to provide stability and they respond to what they find. Tree roots grow longer and stronger on the side facing prevailing winds. Look at the base of a tree trunk where it flares out.Trees,” says Gooley, “are master engineers.” The roots have no right angles to snap – only strong curves where the winds come from. He calls the slight flare on that vulnerable side, “elephant toes.”

Read more: 12 Nature Destinations for Women Over 50.

Notice the Angle of the Tree Branches and Leaves

Gooley says that the branches where the light is less abundant shoot straight up – this in the UK is likely the North side. If the branches are horizontal, they are getting good light and are probably on the south side. Gooley says this is easier to see in the winter and when you squint your eyes to capture the shape. Leaves are different – leaves are horizontal on the northern side and vertical on the south side.

Trees Have Eyes and Eyebrows

Here’s how Gooley explains why trees have eyes and eyebrows:

“A tree doesn’t want to use energy that it does not have to. If a branch is not getting sun, the tree will let it die off. The shape of the iris in the eye is where the branch was. The wider shape is the branch support.”

So next time you meet a smooth bark tree, like a poplar or a birch, notice how it “self-prunes” – the eyebrows are where the old join was.

Have Fun with This Fresh Way of Looking at Trees

Gooley most of all wants us to have fun with this fresh way of looking at trees. I am so excited about using the information in How to Read a Tree. I just went outside to hang my laundry on the line and found that the apple and oak trees on my way there are both significantly fuller on the south side!

I am casting off my definition that I am topographically challenged. Like Gooley says, we have the brain structure for natural navigation, we just have to practice using it again – like our ancestors did so long ago. Let’s reverse the slow erosion of that natural navigation muscle.

Gooley gives us this positive message on using technology, like the compass on our iPhone: “We can have the best of both worlds. Using technology is a choice, as long as we recognize the opportunity costs, we can have the best of both worlds.”

A Note from Sixty & Me

Reader Jana mentions in the comments below that when she moved to her new place, she used a plant identification app on her phone to identify the trees closest to her property. 

What Are Plant Identification Apps

Plant and tree identification apps are mobile apps that help you figure out the species of a plant or tree. Everything we used to find in field guides is now accessible on your phone or tablet. Simply point your device at the tree or plant, and it will identify it. 

• PictureThis: A botanist in your pocket! Identify plants with a photo, receive care tips, and get alerts about toxins.
• iNaturalist: Share your findings with this nature-observation app that includes plants and trees. Backed by a community of naturalists.
• PlantNet: A free app built for plant identification and citizen science.

Read more: Nature Therapy: Why Time Outdoors Is Vital for Seniors’ Well-Being.

Let’s Keep the Conversation Going:

Would you consider picking a tree and using its structure to help you to know which way you are looking? Do you know your directions? Do you ever use a compass on your iPhone or a manual one? Can you tell which way the wind affects your tree? Does the shape of the tree, the placement of the branches, the leaves, and roots give you clues to help you find your way?