One of the biggest drawbacks of traditional publishing is that writers are often required to give up the lifetime publishing rights to their work. This means that if a book doesn’t sell well, the writer is often unable to republish it. This can be a huge financial blow to writers, who may have spent years working on a book only to see it fail to find an audience.

With self-publishing, writers retain the rights to their work. This means that even if a book doesn’t sell well initially, the writer can continue to promote and sell it, or even republish it under a different title or with different marketing. This gives writers more control over their work and the ability to make a living from their writing.

Self-publishing also allows writers to be more experimental and take risks with their work. In the traditional publishing world, publishers are often wary of taking on books that are too “out there” or that don’t fit into established genres. Self-published writers, on the other hand, can take risks and publish whatever they want without worrying about whether it will be commercially viable.

Furthermore, self-publishing allows writers to connect directly with their audience. With traditional publishing, there is often a disconnect between the writer and the reader, with the publisher serving as a middleman. Self-publishing, on the other hand, allows writers to build a direct relationship with their readers and to connect with them on a more personal level.

Of course, self-publishing isn’t without its challenges. One of the biggest challenges is the fact that self-published writers are responsible for everything from editing and formatting to marketing and promotion. This can be a lot of work, and it can be difficult for writers to get their work out there and seen by a wide audience.

Additionally, self-publishing can be seen as less prestigious than traditional publishing, and self-published writers may struggle to gain the same level of recognition and respect as writers who have been published by a major publishing house.

Despite these challenges, however, self-publishing is becoming an increasingly popular option for writers. With the rise of e-books and print-on-demand technology, it’s now easier than ever for writers to self-publish and reach a global audience.

In many ways, self-publishing is the punk rock of the publishing world. It’s a way for writers to take control of their work, to experiment and take risks, and to connect directly with their readers. And while it may not be the easiest path, for many writers, it’s the most rewarding.

Towards the end of January, I came up with a story with two characters, a boy called Elliot and a girl called Mei, who live on Mars as fourth-generation Martians. When these children are in class, an alarm sounds, and they must evacuate the colony building. It was a pretty action-packed short story.

Writing this story was fun. I loved the setting on Mars and the characters, Elliot and Mei. This short story spurred another idea: I would write more short stories, but in the same world. Some stories would be with Elliot and Mei, and some with other characters. For a few months, my intention was to put together a collection of short stories in this world.

As I planned out my stories I evolved what looked like a story arc for Elliot and Mei. It didn’t take much more planning for me to realise I had the start of a potential novel instead of a short story collection. Considering our lockdown situation, I became quite excited about the idea as it served as a great distraction to everything going on in the world.

To start my planning process, I came up with a twenty-five-word pitch to set the feel of the novel.

This simple pitch, or log line, helped solidify the premise I had when planning the short stories. For the Martian setting, I had the idea of two colonies: one called New London – which is part of the Global Space Alliance, a future NASA-style agency – and one called New Beijing. Both colonies are located around the base of the Olympus Mons volcano on Mars. The colonies are rivals, established by rival space agencies. 

At the start of my story idea, the two colonies unite. However, as you can imagine, not everyone is happy about the idea, which raises the threat level at the start of the book. 

My protagonist, Elliot, who is a resident of New London, and Mei, a resident of New Beijing, soon become good friends. Elliot is my main character – I based him on my son, Daniel – Mei is his sidekick in the story. While this is Elliot’s story, Mei is essential to the plot. Armed with my basic premise and details about my characters, I started some market research. I wasn’t necessarily trying to write to market, but I wanted to understand the marketplace for this genre and age range. I was going to write this book, regardless. Still, I wanted to look at what was already out in the market to make sure I target the right audience.

Genre and Market Research

I already knew that I wanted to target the middle-grade reading age, which is nine to twelve-years-old. This is the reading group I have been writing my short stories for. What I needed to think about was how long a book like this would need to be and what sort of story structure it should have. From my research, I knew that for middle-grade book publishing, word count was important, so I looked at books on the market to see how long they were. 

If the authors were already famous, I looked at their first few books, written when they were unpublished or lesser known. Middle-grade falls into two major categories: lower middle-grade and upper middle-grade. Lower middle-grade books are easier reads of about thirty to 40,000 words. Books by David Williams and Roald Dahl are good examples of this category. Upper middle-grade books tend to have 50,000–80,000 words. Books like Artemis Fowl and the early Harry Potter books are good examples.

I wanted a more accurate idea of the range, so I needed some average word counts. If you search for a book on the kobo.com store – a vendor of eBooks – the sales page for a book tells you the word count, which is very helpful. Below are some example word counts for books in the area I wanted to write in.

Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone (J. K. Rowling) – 80,000

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (J. K. Rowling) – 89,000

Artemis Fowl (Eoin Colfer) – 61,000

Artemis Fowl: The Arctic Incident (Eoin Colfer) – 61,000

Sky Thieves (Dan Walker) – 58,000

Desert Thieves (Dan Walker) – 60,000

Light Hunters (Dan Walker) – 61,000

Percy Jackson (Rick Riordan) – 90,000

The Secret Diary of Adrian Mole (Sue Townsend) – 57,000

I have read all these books and consider them to target the audience I want to write for. What I gleaned from this exercise is that a range of 50,000 words on the lower end to 80,000 on the upper end seems reasonable. If I were to split the difference, my actual target would be 60,000–70,000. This gives me a rough idea of the amount of writing I will need to do. 

On looking into word counts in more detail in articles and videos from agents, I have since learned that for a middle-grade debut, the word count agents generally look for in a debut novelist is anywhere from 40,000 to 65,000 words, with the longer word count reserved for science fiction/fantasy books that require heavy world building. So, my initial estimates were not too far off. You can easily push these word counts a little if you decide to publish independently but going too high might put off all but the most advanced readers in the target age category.

Doing this sort of research up front before even knowing what the book is going to be about may seem strange. Many writers like to start with only a basic premise and a rough idea of a character, but perhaps because of my background in software engineering, I am the sort of person who likes to plan. 

Book Goals and Style Guide

As someone who likes to plan, I set myself goals for the book, along with a style guide. I find making some stylistic decisions in advance helps establish a series of guard rails, so I don’t veer off target. I have done something like this for pretty much every project I have worked on in my professional career. 

Middle-grade reading age: I set out to target a reading age of nine to twelve years old. While targeting a younger audience, I would like the book to be fun for adult readers too. As already discussed, middle-grade is split into two areas: upper and lower middle-grade. Lower middle-grade is aimed at younger readers and has a word count of fewer than 40,000 words. These are short, easy-to-read, fun books. Upper middle-grade books are aimed at a more advanced reader in the same age group and can sixty to 75,000 words long. These are challenging but fun stories that children and adults alike can enjoy. I started reading lots of upper middle-grade books.

Chapters presented like diary entries: The book is called Diary of a Martian as I wanted the chapters to be presented as diary entries written by the protagonist, Elliot. Therefore, the book would be written in the first person and past tense, and each chapter would take place on a particular date. However, I wanted the chapters to read as flowing prose rather than a rough, realistic diary entry. The book is very much about the world seen through Elliot’s eyes.

Minimal description of the main protagonists: I remember reading in a few books, and in some writing craft videos, that with children’s books, it can be a good idea not to describe the protagonists in too much detail as children like to imagine themselves in the role of the main character. After putting some thought into that idea, I think it’s great, and something I have stuck with in my novel. For example, I don’t describe Elliot’s appearance. We know he is a boy of average height for his age (twelve years old). I don’t describe eye or hair colour, or any other relevant descriptive details, unless required for the plot.

With my secondary protagonist, Mei, all I describe is that she is Chinese and has shoulder-length black hair, and I believe that is enough detail for the reader’s imagination. The fact that she is Chinese is important to the plot as I show the two previous rival Martian colonies coming together. 

I hope that both boys and girls who can imagine themselves in these roles will enjoy the novel. I know that under-describing characters can be controversial, and there are strong opinions on it, but for me, I feel this is right for the story. My secondary characters are described in more detail. When I reach the editing and revision stage of the manuscript, I may change my mind when I read the story back in its entirety. The level of character description I use feel like it will be a topic I revisit a few times.

Short chapters for a fast-paced read: To make the book an easy read for younger and reluctant readers, I want to keep the chapters short – around 1200–2000 words. Those limits are not a hard and fast rule but more of a guideline. I want to create fast-paced, forward momentum for the reader. 

Many younger readers, and I am basing part of this on my own children, read at night before bed. In my household, we have made it a habit that at 7 p.m., the children must read. This means they have around thirty minutes to an hour to read before lights out. I want the completion of a chapter to feel like a win for the child, so they feel encouraged to continue. If you complete a chapter that is short, you feel more compelled to read the next chapter, especially if there is a cliff hanger to entice you to turn the page.

I read many books on the Kindle e-reader, which tells me how long I have left in a chapter based on my reading speed. If I am reading a book and the e-reader tells me the chapter is fifteen minutes or shorter, I am more inclined to read it. When I complete that chapter, if the Kindle tells me the next chapter is only ten minutes long, I will continue. Before I know it, it’s 1 a.m. 

Other books I have read have very long chapters, so if I complete a chapter and the Kindle tells me the next chapter is forty-five minutes long, I will stop reading and go to sleep because I like to complete a chapter.

This isn’t scientific advice. I am basing these observations about chapter length on my reading habits and those of my children, but that’s okay with me and forms the basis of my plan to keep my chapters short and fast-paced. 

Chapter cliff-hangers to encourage forward reading: Along with brief chapters, I want to have a cliff-hanger at the end of a chapter. I don’t want to force myself to do this on every chapter, but if action is buzzing, ending a chapter when something interesting is about to happen is a great way to encourage the reader to keep going. 

Cliff-hangers have been used in TV shows for decades. The main character gets into a dangerous situation, but the episode stops. You just have to tune in next week to find out what happens; or let Netflix (or your streaming service of choice) guide you into the next episode. It’s a simple and effective technique to ensure audience engagement, and I intend to exploit it as much as I can.

Main characters are twelve years old: At the start of the book, my protagonist, Elliot, is eleven years old, and he soon turns twelve. Twelve years old is the top of the middle-grade reading age range. Children like to read up in age rather than down, so a ten-year-old reader would prefer to read about children older than them and not younger. Reading down in age can feel a bit too babyish. I took this advice from R. L. Stine’s Masterclass course and talking to my own children confirmed it.

Rich and visual world building: Children are highly visual. As well as a gripping story line, fast action, and likeable characters, they need the setting to be rich and visual. However, a balance must be struck because too much description and exposition can put off younger readers, so any description included in the story needs to hit its mark straightaway. 

I expect this balance will be difficult to get right, so I will rely on beta readers and editors to help me. But my goal is for the children – and adults – reading this novel to imagine a realistic yet rich world in which the story takes place.

Story Theme

To write an entire novel, your story needs depth to keep it interesting for the reader, even for a younger audience. What I mean by depth is seeing more of the characters world than just the main plot. Diary of a Martian has a well-defined plot. The characters go from point a to b and so on until a resolution has been reached, but at the same time, I want the readers to see more of their lives than the main plot required. 

I remember watching a documentary with George Lucas, the creator of Star Wars. In that documentary he talked about the plot of the film, but he also said that Star Wars was a family drama. We learn just as much about the characters families and circumstances as we do about the direct plot and action. I wanted to achieve the same goal. Again, how I do that is a balancing act as I must keep the readers engaged, but I want the reader to imagine what it is like living on Mars.

When I started my planning for Diary of a Martian, I wanted to ground the story so that the characters and setting feel normal to the reader, even though the story is set far into the future and on a different planet.

One way to achieve this is to anchor the story in something familiar. For that, I used the humble game of football (soccer for my American friends). Football plays a large role in Martian colony life, bringing people together and making the setting feel familiar to its readers.

Key Takeaways

I enjoy the process of planning a book. I know some writers hate the idea of planning, but by putting some effort into understanding what you are writing, the genre and the readership, you can go a long way in avoiding writing a book that you need to change or abandon later. 

In any project I embark on, I have also always liked the idea of putting a series of guard rails in place. These guard rails serve as a set of constraints I need to stay within, so I don’t veer off target and produce something that is irrelevant and ill-fitting for my target audience. 

These guard rails don’t have to be a complete plan of the book. They’re just a guide to help keep me moving in the right direction when the writing becomes tougher later on in the project. And it will.

I love reading craft books. I always have at least one novel and one craft book being read at anyone time. In this post, I want to talk about my top 6 favourite book that have really helped me. There are, of course, many other books that I think are brilliant, but if I had to recommend a reading list to a new writer, then I would offer the following books:

On Writing: A Memoir of the Craft – Stephen King

The Art of Character – David Corbett

The First Five Pages – Noah Lukeman

The Anatomy of Story – John Truby

Bird by Bird – Anne Lamott

On Editing – Helen Corner-Bryant and Kathryn Price

Let’s start with one of my favourite writing books of all time.

On Writing: A Memoir of the Craft – Stephen King

No list of writing craft books is complete without a mention of Stephen King’s On Writing. I really enjoyed this book as it is part biography from a master of commercial fiction mixed in with lots of writing advice. I have read this book several times, and I always feel motivated to write afterwards. I also really recommend the audiobook as King narrated it himself, and I could listen to his voice for hours.

One message to take from this book is that you should never give up. King, like many writers who wish to follow the traditional publishing route, faced rejection after rejection. King also nearly gave up. He threw the manuscript for Carrie into the trash. If his wife hadn’t had recovered the book and convinced him to send it out to a publisher, then we may never have had the classics, such as The Shining, IT, and Pet Cemetery.

The Art of Character – David Corbett

No matter what type of story you are writing, all good books come down to characters, and that is what The Art of Character explores. If you have thin, uninspiring characters, then it doesn’t matter how wiz bang your plot is, the book will not be a great read. That is the focus of this book. It’s all about writing well-rounded characters. 

This book is very in depth, and the author throws a lot at you. It’s not the sort of book you just read once and then move on. I class this book as an essential workbook that you will refer to many times over your career.

The First Five Pages – Noah Lukeman

In a market that is saturated with new books each day, the first few pages of your manuscript are essential to hooking a reader. If you are looking for a traditional publishing deal, then you also have to hook an agent, and then a publishing editor, before you even get to your readers. The premise of this book, The First Five Pages, is about making sure your first five pages really engage the reader so that they continue with the book instead of abandoning it and moving onto something else. 

I found the advice in this book to be excellent. The book covers subjects like: A weak opening hook, Overuse of adjectives and adverbs, Flat or forced metaphors or similes, Undeveloped characterisations and lifeless settings, and Uneven pacing and lack of progression.

It’s not a long book, but you get a lot of useful and actionable information to help the beginning of your book grab the attention of the reader.

The Anatomy of Story – John Truby

The Anatomy of Story is a book that explores story telling and story telling tropes. John Truby primarily aimed the book at screenwriting and he dissects a lot of movies, but that is a good thing as movies have to have stories that engage the viewer from the start. The book offers twenty-two steps to becoming a master storyteller, and I believe the book lives up to that promise.

Some films explored, and his examples, felt a little dated by today’s standards, as the book is quite old. I still found it very useful, and I recommend and storyteller to read it, even if he aimed it more at screenplay writers. There is plenty to absorb here for novelists.

Bird by Bird – Anne Lamott

Bird by Bird is different kind of writing book. It isn’t a direct craft or technique book. Instead. I class this as a book about the writer’s life and I found it a fun, engaging and motivating read. Writing a novel is hard work and sometimes you just want to read something that will motivate and inspire you. I found Anne’s discussions about writing to be honest, entertaining and I quite appreciate her self-deprecating style. 

The book is split into five sections: writing, the writing frame of mind, help along the way, publication and other reasons to write, and finally a section called the last class. If you want some inspiration and advice from a seasoned writer, both the good parts of writing and the not so good, then I recommend this book.

On Editing – Helen Corner-Bryant and Kathryn Price

It may seem odd including a book on editing in a list of writing craft books, but On Editing, is very good. As the title suggest, the book is about how to edit your own work to make it the best it can be before you show the manuscript to anyone else, either a professional editor, agent, or self-publication. 

This book teaches you all the skills you need to help whip your first draft into shape and looks at fixing story issues as a developmental edit, and the finer-grained line editing problems you need to fix. At the time of writing this post, I have completed my first draft of my middle-grade novel, so editing is something I am thinking a lot about. I have read several books on the topic, and this is by far my favourite.

I enjoyed reading novels, but in my teenage years, I didn’t read as much as I should. I would rather be out with my friends, or playing video games. After I finished university, started my career and settled down in my early twenties, I started reading more books again. I like to read a variety of novels: science fiction, fantasy, spy thrillers, horror. Pretty much most genre fiction novels, although I am not so leen on romantic, or literary fiction; they are just not my thing.

As I read more books, I had ideas for my own stories. I have always had an active imagination, and I loved the idea of being able to write my own stories. Some people want to be rockstars. I liked the idea of being a novelist. As fun as this sounded, I had many excuses for not starting. I regret a lot of these now, but hindsight can help me uncover my regrets.

Intimidated by Other Books

One problem with wanting to start a creative endeavour is that it is easy to compare your ideas to those of others. Whenever I picked up another author’s novel to read, they always struck me by how flawless they seemed. The plots were well thought out. The grammar seemed perfect. Overall, the quality was high. I found that intimidating. How could I ever do the same?

What I didn’t understand at the time was the process an author goes through to write a book. I had attempted to write short stories before, and although I was pleased with them, the writing didn’t seem as good as I was reading in other novels. I just assumed I didn’t have the skills to produce something of the same quality. My short stories were essentially first drafts that I didn’t develop further.

If I had done my research, I would have found out that an author will write a first draft. That draft will not be very good. They will then do a full revision of their work. Then they’ll do another, and another. This revision process could happen many times until the author has a good draft. This revised version is the real first draft. Even then, the book is not complete. If they are signed to an agent and they have sold the book, then the manuscript will go through a further series of revisions with a professional editor. 

Once the publisher’s editor has finished, then there is a final stage which is the final line edit and proofread. Your book could easily go through ten to fifteen revisions before it’s published, along with multiple gate-keepers. No wonder published novels are of high-quality. Over a long period of time, the text has been revised and reworked. Of course, my first draft stories didn’t seem as good. I hadn’t gone through the entire process.

Worried my Ideas are Bad

I thought my book ideas were good, but everyone thinks that of their ideas. I was worried about what other people would think. People can be cruel. You can find reviews on Amazon to see what people really think. Even for popular books, if you look at the one and two star reviews, people can be very nasty, especially when hidden behind an anonymous name. 

Being criticised is scary. Nobody likes it, but now that I am older and hopefully a little wiser, I am not so worried about it. Sure, if I get a bad review and there are lots of other positive reviews, then I just think the book wasn’t to their taste. I now believe that if you do the best work you can, go through the revision steps and use a professional editor, and take their advice, then the product you put into the marketplace will be good. If someone doesn’t like it, well, that’s on them.

I mentioned before that I have released some non-fiction books, so I now have practical experience of this. All the steps I mentioned above about revision, I did with my non-fiction books, and I put out the best books I could. I know they are good, and the reviews are all mostly very good, so if I get the occasional bad review, while it still hurts, I have learnt to brush it off. Provided the reviews are not deliberately offensive, then I try to learn from them.

Scared by the Amount of Work

When I was younger, I was intimidated by the amount of work required to write a book; that was just for the first draft stage. Like a lot of younger people, I wanted instant gratification. I liked the idea of having written a book. I was worried about the amount of work it would take. As someone once said to me, ‘you want to get to the destination, but you don’t want to do the journey.’

I will bet that this is a common problem for anyone looking to tackle an enormous project. As a young man. I was not as experienced in how to plan a large project. With over twenty-eight years of industry experience working on huge software development projects, I would tackle a book project like any of my former career projects: lots of planning, and break the project down into smaller pieces. It’s like that joke, ‘How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time.’ That is so true. 

Some writers blame inaction with a project on writer’s block, or the muse not being with them. I don’t agree with that. If you get stuck on one project, work on something else; you can still write. You don’t hear of a car mechanic suddenly getting mechanics block, and can’t work on all those cars that are booked into the garage. When I get stuck on a plot point in my novel, I work on another non-fiction project, or a blog post—like this one.

By focusing on a little at a time, you can complete the project. I experience this firsthand with one of my non-fiction books. It was a business and entrepreneurial book called ‘The Path to Freedom – Starting a Business for the Reluctant Entrepreneur’. The final manuscript was one-hundred-fifty-thousand words. That’s a big book, but I applied the same principle to that book. Working on a small piece at a time. It took eighteen months to write that book, but I wasn’t daunted by the size of the project anymore because I had broken the problem down into much smaller pieces. I believe that if any project scares you, then you haven’t broken it down far enough.

Busy Learning Software Development

Like most career minded professionals in their twenties, I was trying to build up my career in software development. I started my career in the video games industry, and after eight years, I moved into financial services as a software developer, and then through the ranks as a leader. My career wasn’t writing novels, that was just a dream; a nice to have.

Even though I have regrets about not starting a novel earlier in my life, I don’t have regrets about focusing on my career. You need the career to help provide for your family, put a roof over your head and make sure everyone has what they need. Building a stable career is very hard, so while I include career building in my reasons for not starting a novel, this one is justified.

Starting a Family Took Up My Time

I don’t regret building up a decent career, and I also don’t regret having children. I have two kids, Amy, thirteen at the time of this post and my son Daniel, ten. If you are reading this and you have young children, then you understand they are fun, yet very tiring. Bringing up infants is exhausting. Me and my wife found two children hard work. Anyone that can raise three of more children deserves a medal.

As a parent, when you have a little spare time and you want to write, or take part in some other creative activity, you’ll be tired and uninspired. I know I was. This constant level of tiredness also contributed to not wanting to start a novel. All the other reasons I stated in this chapter were the primary reasons, but being tired with children was the perfect excuse, as I don’t really think anyone would argue with it.

Now my children are a little older, they are not as challenging. We do lots of activities as a family, but the kids also want to play with their friends, do sleepovers, play video games etc, so me and my wife find we have more time to do activities together, and also do our own things. For a little of motivation for young parents, it gets easier; I promise. 

Now you know why I put off starting my novel for so long. You have probably read this post, thinking these are just excuses for inaction. You would be correct, they are. That’s why a lot of them are regrets, and I hope I can save you from the same problem. At the time of writing this post I am forty-five and I feel like I have wasted a lot of writing time. Don’t make the same mistake.

With all this in mind, I set about defining what my personal commandments are for my writing. Writing a series of commandments helps to solidify, for me, why I am doing this in the first place—other than just for fun. These commandments will be important later when I have finished writing my novel, as I will have to decide what to do with it: publish through a traditional publisher (well, try anyway), or independent publication. 

Just like biblical commandments, I will refer to these further down the line if I reach an impasse with my work, or feel as though I am veering in the wrong direction. The moment I get a feeling that I am taking a wrong turn, I will refer to these commandments. Commandments shouldn’t be mistaken for goals. Goals have a determined outcome. You can tick off when they are complete. These commandments aren’t like that. It’s more like trying to steer that vast ship; by following them, the ship should head in the right direction.

1. Create a lasting legacy

When I hit my mid-forties, I looked back over my career and didn’t like the idea that most of the projects and products I have worked on over the years no longer exist. Software systems get superseded; companies bought out; technology and teams replaced. With my writing, I want the end result to last long into the future, and live after I am eventually gone. This feeling is probably a symptom of a mid-life crisis. I never used to worry about such things, but now I do. I want a lasting legacy, something I am proud of, that doesn’t go out of date or expire. 

2. Create something I can pass on

Following on from the previous commandment, by creating a lasting legacy I am proud of, I can pass my work down to my children and grandchildren. If my books ever become a success, then this can help my children in the future. Even if the books are not a financial success, long after I have shuffled off this mortal coil, I will have a body of work that my children and grandchildren can remember me by. 

The legacy of my other work in creating online corporate training just wouldn’t have the same sentimental impact on my family, even if I think that work is pretty good. But, a series of stories that can live on beyond my own life that my children can enjoy and remember me by, is something that is really important to me.

3. Not put financial gain as a priority

This is quite an important commandment. Creative writing can either be a passion where monetary gain isn’t the major success factor, or I can treat it like a business. I put a lot of thought into this, probably too much considering I haven’t actually finished writing the novel, but I am an over-thinker. 

I have been very fortunate. For many years I have worked for myself, doing work that I find interesting. There comes a time, though, that when you do something that is fun and also your job, the shine can wear off as financial stress sets in. For my “day job”, that is a given. It’s how I earn my living and help to provide for my family. So, the question is, do I want creative writing to be a job? 

On one hand, the thought of sitting here writing novels every day sounds fantastic. Who wouldn’t want to do that? But I know that if I have other people and companies depending on the words that I write, would that fun diminish for me? I already know the answer; it’s yes. Having commitments and dependencies can and will lead to stress. Is that what I want with creative writing? I don’t think it is. I want it to remain enjoyable, on my terms.

4. Produce my best work

Most of your time writing a novel has you, the author, on your own crafting the story. To produce your best work, you need the help of others, such as editors, beta-readers, proof-readers etc. Book covers need to be created by professionals to make them fit in, and the typesetting has to look professional. 

If I publish my book independently, then I will hire all these people to help me make the best book I can. I will go through the same steps that a traditional published book would go through, and with the same level of editorial critique. I don’t intend to take any shortcuts. I will have to pay for these services, and they can be quite expensive, but people spend money on their hobbies and interests all the time; this is no different.

5. Seek to satisfy my vision above anyone else

In traditional publishing, there’s a lot of talk about writing to fit market trends. A good example is when the Hunger Games novels came out. These books created a big resurgence in dystopian young adult books. Because of the success of the Hunger Games, a lot of publishers were suddenly looking for young adult dystopian stories and the market became flooded. If you queried for an agent and publishing deal at the right time with a book that fit the mould, you could get a deal. Over time, young adult dystopian books fell out of favour. It’s not that they are bad, on the contrary, but the market cooled to them and other genres became the in-thing.

If your timing was bad, you might have written an amazing dystopian young adult book, but if that’s not what the publishers are looking for, then you face a barrage of rejections. On one hand, I get it, the publishers are businesses with enormous overheads; they have to publish what’s on trend to make money. It doesn’t feel fair to the creative who has spent months, if not years, slaving over their book.

Diary of a Martian (my novel) is a science fiction and fantasy story. I am writing the book because I think it’s a fun story and I really like the characters. In terms of market fit, I am not sure how well it would fair with a traditional publisher. Fantasy books for a middle-grade audience at the time of writing seem to do well, but with a science fiction theme, I am not so sure. 

If I was trying to think with a commercial mindset, I might be tempted to abandon the book and work on something else that I think has commercial appeal; perhaps another Harry Potter clone. If I did that, it might take me a year to eighteen months to write that book, at which point the market will have moved on to something else and all that effort becomes wasted.

If I ignore the commercial and market focused aspect, then I could just write the book I want to write; because I want to write it. That may not be the best “Business” approach, but I have already decided that this is a creative exploit primarily, and financial gain isn’t my chief priority. If it sells a lot of copies, then fantastic. I will certainly try to do that, but I am not treating it as a get rich scheme to replace my primary income.

6. Not sacrifice my rights on the altar of success

I am fortunate in that a traditional publisher has published me—for non-fiction books, so I know what it’s like in that environment. I am also friends with people that have traditionally published fiction. While signing that publishing contract can be exciting, and if that is what you want, then you should go for it, but there is a side to it I don’t like. 

When you sign that publishing contract, you are signing away the rights to your story. You still own the copyright, but you are giving away the rights to publication. If your book sells, and you go through multiple reprints, then you are in a great position. The harsh truth, though, most books do not earn enough money to earn out their advances and make any additional money for the author. If you get an advance, it is just that, an advance on future earnings. The publisher wants that back before you see any royalties, and most royalty rates for traditionally published books are very low—between ten and fifteen percent.

If your first print run takes a long time to sell, the publisher may decide that your book is not commercially viable enough to pay for another print run, and the book goes out of print. If that happens, and it happens, there is nothing you can do about it. You don’t own the publishing rights anymore, the publisher does, so you are at their mercy. Your contract may have a clause that states if sales dip below a certain threshold then you can have a discussion about getting your rights back. Sounds good, but there is a catch. 

The publisher will still sell copies of your ebook. I have spoken to authors who wanted to get their rights back based on sales volume, but the publisher will set the ebook temporarily to 99p (or 99c in the US) and run a promotion for a month. You sell a lot of copies at this price, then the book returns to its normal price. The publisher has hit the sales threshold to keep the rights; yes, this happens.

A lot of writers are happy to go into this situation as they are desperate to be published via a traditional publisher, but for me, I think the sacrifice is too great. I really don’t like the idea of giving away the publication rights to something that I came up with and spent a long time writing. This is a long way of saying that I am not prepared to give away rights to my work. I would rather sell fewer copies but own all my rights than make a gamble that a publisher will sell a lot of copies. 

The publishing industry differs from what it was ten years ago. As an author, you are on your own to promote your book when it comes out. If your book gets some traction and sells a lot of copies, then the publisher will start actively advertising and promoting your work. Until then, they expect you to promote your own book, all for a small royalty percentage. I would much rather spend that advertising money, knowing the vast majority of the royalties come back to me.

It took a while to come up with these commandments. Each one required thought to decide what’s important to me. Your publication journey can be long and difficult, but I think it is important to understand what you want up front, even before you have a finished writing the book. That’s strategic thinking. Making your ship sail in the right direction, course correcting along the way.

I had lots of story ideas, and I really liked the idea of writing for children, so with that in mind I started learning and writing; short stories to start with. I took online classes with platforms like LinkedIn Learning, Masterclass, and The Great Courses. I also embarked on a nine-month creative writing class by applying to take the Faber Academy – Write a Novel course; I will write a review of that soon as I just completed the course.

With all this learning and story writing, I reflected on why I have fallen in love with creative writing so much. So, in true internet blog form, I have written a list post.  In no particular order.

1. Something I Can do By Myself

If the pandemic was good at one thing, it was making sure you couldn’t do anything with other people, unless you wanted to sit for hours on a Zoom call, which I didn’t. The great thing about writing is it left you alone with a word-processor and your own thoughts. That’s all you need. Okay, you work with editors, proofreaders, beta readers later, but, for the vast majority of the creative work, getting your first draft and revision completed, it’s just you.

As a self-confessed introvert, that suits me just fine. I am not shy; I love talking to people, but I recharge my mental batteries by being alone, and what better activity to do alone: writing.

Throughout lockdown, when the daily homeschooling finished, and I had struggled through my day job work, I would relax and work on short stories. Even if it was only half an hour. That private writing time, with my headphones on, allowed me to reset from a hard day. Would I say it was a kind of therapy? Yeah, sure, that works. That leads us on to point number two.

2. Relaxing and Calming

After a busy day home-schooling and working, I found the simple act of creative writing to be calming and relaxing. I was working on short stories with no particular agenda. There were no editors waiting for them. No pressure from publishers. It was just for my benefit. Will I release those stories? Maybe; I could put them out into a small collection for my own gratification. But there were no expectations. I could write a story and have fun with it.

I like to write middle-grade fiction, so I aimed my stories at children. Having two kids in the house, a daughter (now thirteen), and a son (now ten), also meant I had a small audience. I nervously gave my kids the stories, as they both read before bed, and they loved them. Quite how honest their reaction was is anyone’s guess, as family members will always be nice when they read your work. But they appeared to enjoy the stories. We discussed the plots, and they even gave me some useful feedback from a kids’ perspective to improve them. That was a lot of fun.

3. Doesn’t Require a Lot of Equipment

In my career (training and public speaking) I have often taught people that working within limitations and constraints forces you to be creative with what you have available. This is certainly true with writing. All you really need as a modern writer is a computer and a word-processor. You don’t even need a fancy computer. An old hand-me-down works too.

If you really want to talk about limitations, then you don’t actually need a computer. You can produce work that is just as fun to read with a pad and pencil as anyone with the latest Apple Super-Duper-MacBook-Pro.

If you use a computer, then you can even get away with not paying for any writing software—legally, of course. If you own a Mac, then it comes with Pages, Apples own word processor, and it’s pretty good. You can also download Libre Office, which is a free of cost, and an open source equivalent to Microsoft Office. LibreWriter is a very capable Microsoft Word equivalent, and it won’t cost you a penny. If you are a fan of Google, then you can use their Google Docs, cloud based word processor. So many great options.

4. Learning the Craft is Fun

Whenever I embark on any new hobby or interest, I am the sort of person who has to learn all I can about the subject. I find learning about something just as much fun as doing the activity itself, and creative writing it no exception. As I already mentioned, I took several online self-paced classes, and also undertook the nine month Faber Academy writing program. All of which I enjoyed immensely.

I have also bought and read many books on fiction writing and writing craft. It is so satisfying to read about another writer’s experience, and see how they tackle writing a book, even if you don’t like their approach. It is all valuable information. 

During lockdown, I upped my walking, as that was pretty much all you could do if you left the house, so I sought podcasts to listen to. My favourite was a British show called Writer’s Routine, where the host interviews a writer every episode to talk about their routine and process for writing a book. I started with the latest episode and worked my way backwards through the catalog. I listened to every episode. I haven’t done that with any other show. Super Nerd or what!!

5. Building Worlds in Your Imagination

Now to the writing itself. Fiction writing is partly about world-building, especially in science fiction and fantasy writing. It is so much fun designing a fictional world, and revealing it gradually on the page so that the reader can see a vivid image of your creation in their minds-eye. 

I set my first novel in the future on an established Mars colony. You can just imagine the amount of fun I am having with that. With the story set in the future, I can take liberties and come up with some really cool technology. World-building through writing can be powerful.

When I was on the Faber Academy course, I was reading one submission from a classmate. We had to read and critique each other’s work. In the extract she posted, there were a few lines that described a mechanical bird flying down and landing on someone’s shoulder. 

As I was writing up my feedback, I mentioned that in two sentences; she conjured up a vivid image in my mind that would take a team of visual effect specialists weeks, if not months to achieve in a film. This is why writing fiction and world-building is so much fun. In a few sentences, you can get the same result in your mind with only a laptop that a movie might take ages to achieve. No disrespect to anyone who works in the movie business. Your work is amazing, but the simplicity and power of just a few short sentences struck me. Where else can you achieve so much impact?

6. Understanding People Better

Creative writing isn’t all world-building. The characters we write are just as important. I have found that by trying to write convincing and fun characters; I understand people better. If I write about a character that is trying to deal with a tough situation, I think about their predicament. I will do research to learn about their struggles, and I will use all this to bring a convincing character to life. I guess what I am saying is writing excellent characters improves your empathy towards others, and your understanding of the world.

Something I found very hard, and am paying particular attention to in my first novel, is making my characters multi-dimensional. Trying to add layers to their personality beyond what is just required to move the plot forward. It’s hard.

It’s probably the hardest aspect, but you just know when you get it right as you get a sense of what the character is like in your mind outside the plot. Your mind races with other situations and scenarios. I have added a lot of extra characterisations by having parts of the character’s personality just leap out at me. I guess this is what a lot of writers mean when they say their characters talk to them. I always thought that was rather cliched, but I think there is something to it now.

Also, if someone is mean to you in real life, you can get your revenge on the page. So, watch out. Muhahahaha

7. Improves Your Observational Skills

I have found that since writing fiction; I am better at observing people and their behaviours. A mum arguing with a toddler in the supermarket. A couple having an argument in the street. The old man who goes to the local park every day and sits on a bench feeding the ducks. All very mundane interactions, but when you write fiction, you pay attention. I have even started jotting some of these interactions down in a notebook, as you never know when they will form the inspiration for a story.

When I was walking my son to school, we were walking behind a dad and his two daughters. They were in an earlier school year to my son, but what I noticed was these two girls were identical twins. They looked completely identical in their appearance. The only difference was the colour of their jackets and a hairband on their heads.

As I was walking home after dropping my son off, I thought to myself, wouldn’t it be interesting if two girls used their identical looks as a superpower, and a way to cause mischief in school? That simple interaction led to me writing a short story called Operation Body Swap. A fun story about two cheeky young girls who hatch a plan. One simple interaction and subsequent thoughts when taking my son to school led to an entire story. Nice.

8. It’s Challenging

I would be lying if I said writing fiction was easy. It’s blooming hard. Much harder than non-fiction. With non-fiction, you spend a lot of time preparing a detailed outline, do all your research, and then write to the outline that you signed off with the publisher. It’s quite linear.

With fiction, you are trying to hold a cohesive plot together, along with subplots, and write interesting, multi-dimensional characters. I find this very hard, but that is something I like. I don’t want it to be easy. Easy is boring. Getting to the end of a draft and having a complete story that makes sense is satisfying.

Sometimes, when writing Diary of a Martian, I got stuck and wasn’t sure how to progress the plot, even though I had a fairly detailed beat sheet. I struggled with some details. Once I had solved those problems, I was left with a draft that I was happy with, and that feels great. I can’t wait to get my novel finished and through the revision stage as the thought of reading that final draft is exciting.

Like with everything in life, if something is challenging and difficult to achieve, you will appreciate the results so much more.

These are some of the main reasons I find writing such a joy. Do you agree with what I have said? Are there any other reason that you find writing a joy? If so, leave a comment and let me know.

A few weeks ago, I was working on my debut middle-grade novel, Diary of a Martian. The story is about two-thirds done. I reached one section of the story where I knew where the characters had to end up, but I was struggling with a convincing way of getting them to that point. I wrestled with the problem for about an hour. Still no joy. I walked to see if the answer would come to me. It didn’t. I was stuck. Hmm, what to do? I could have pleaded that I had writers’ block, shut my laptop and do something else entirely, but that’s silly and not professional. 

I am a professional writer. I write for a living. Fiction may be new to me, but I have written a lot of non-fiction material. Instead I switched to something else; another writing project. I have another non-fiction book in the early stages that I am working on, so I carried on with that book. I had already outlined the next few chapters, so I knew what I needed to write. I carried on working on that non-fiction book for another four days solid. 

When doing the school run, and picking my son up, I left a little earlier and did a longer walk that ended up at the school; it was a sunny day. I loaded up a TV show score on my phone (the score for Picard series 1; the music is better than the show) and off I trot. Just over halfway through the walk, I had an epiphany. I figured out how to solve my plot problem. Was it the music that helped, or the walk? Don’t know. Why didn’t I think of this idea initially? Well, I was stuck, but now I had the answer. I pulled out my phone, loaded up the voice recorder and made a few audio notes. Satisfied, and with a big smile on my face, I finished the walk and picked up my son from school. 

That evening, I loaded up my novel in Scrivener, and finished writing the first draft for the section that was causing me issues. I wasn’t blocked. My muse may have been confused, but he chose to work on something else instead.

But Stephen, what if you had also become stuck with the non-fiction book at the same time? Then what would you do? Well, I have this blog, and a list of posts I want to write. I would work on one of those. It’s still writing. I have a collection of short stories that I have been working on. I could continue with one of those. I have quite a few other children’s novel ideas rattling around in my brain. I could make notes on those ideas; start their beat sheets, write profiles for the characters. I produce online training courses as part of my business. They are all scripted. I can carry on with the current course I am writing. There is always something to be getting on with.

There is a good way to summarise this:

Professional writers don’t get blocked. They get stuck, and then do something else temporarily.

Amateurs or hobby writers get stuck, think they are blocked, and then procrastinate.

I say choose the professional mindset. Just work on something else until you become unstuck. You don’t have a car mechanic claim to be blocked when fixing a car and then give up. They get help, or fix another car. Plumbers don’t get plumbers block. Professionals don’t claim <name of profession> block, they get stuck, try to fix the issue, or carry on with something else that needs doing for their profession, and come back to the problem later.

As with anything, this is just my opinion. You may agree, or you may disagree. That’s fine. Either way, leave a comment and let me know your take on writer’s block.

Before I get accused of being an Amazon shill, the same issue exists with other e-readers, such as the Kobo or the Nook. The instant gratification of buying a book without having to go out anywhere is addictive. I started using a Kindle back in 2007, so I have built up an extensive library, which locks me into the Amazon ecosystem. Vendor lock-in is a bad thing, but damn; I just can’t help myself.

I also love physical books. I love the feel of them in my hands, and I love the smell—yes, I am a book sniffer. The problem is, I don’t enjoy getting rid of books I have finished reading. I don’t sell them or donate them. I see each completed book as a badge of honour, and I like to keep them on a bookcase. This becomes a problem when you read as much as I do. Books take up a lot of space.

I don’t know if I have a point with this post, apart from admitting I find the Kindle (or any other e-reader) addictive. A vast library of books, in my bag constantly. I now pretty much only read novels and non-fiction books in a digital format now. The only physical books I buy are those large, glossy, coffee table books. I’m a big fan of books about the art of movies, or about how movies are made. This type of book will always be better in physical form.

As a writer, the proliferation of the e-reader leaves me conflicted. I like my own books to be released as physical books. I always get that twang of excitement as I open a box of freshly printed books for the first time, but I know that realistically, I would probably buy the ebook version myself as a consumer. Ebooks are a problem for book shops. Only a few companies control the digital marketplaces for ebooks, locking out bookstores and smaller independents. I feel bad for them, but I still can’t stop buying my books digitally. Does that make me a bad person? Especially as a writer? Probably, but I seem to have become addicted to the digital crack cocaine that is the Kindle digital marketplace.

Over the past few years, I have re-evaluated my creative priorities. To stay sane over the pandemic, I decided I wanted to leave lockdown better than when I went in. I wanted to learn something new, but if I’m honest, I was getting jaded with the pace of technology and software development; more on that in another post. A large part of my career still involves training, and I love doing it, but I wanted to learn something new.

I decided I would focus more on creative writing. I am already an experienced non-fiction writer with books that are both self-published and published through traditional publishers. I had dreamt of writing stories when I was younger. But I always felt intimidated by the process. I tackled that intimidation and start learning. I had lots of ideas. I just needed to learn about it. I won’t go into detail about that in this post; I’ll cover that soon, as I have been very productive.

This means the focus of this blog is changing. I contemplated whether to just blitz the content here and start again, but I decided against it. While the older articles, especially the technical articles, are not my main focus, I left some of them as they are still relevant. But this post is drawing a line under it, and I am starting again.

For anyone that comes to this blog who has read my non-fiction books, or watched my Pluralsight courses, hello and welcome. I am still writing those books. I am also still engaged in creating and maintaining content with Pluralsight. I love working with them. I’m very proud of that content, but this is going to be more personal. If that doesn’t interest you, then I won’t be offended if you leave and don’t come back. Thank you for following anything I do up to this point. 

If you decide to stick around, then I will write about the art and craft of creative writing for fiction and non-fiction. I will cover the technical aspects and talk about how I feel about the process. I will probably keep the posts fairly short, to ensure I actually write the blog posts. I’m considering turning this into a journal as well as an educational website. We’ll see. 

Anyway, welcome to the new stephenhaunts.com. I hope you like what I want to talk about and will follow along.

In a rapidly changing world, a few surprises in your daily flow are expected. Whether you are starting a new position, or your current job is changing scenarios, you might have found yourself as a new work-from-home employee. While it can seem like a dream to wear your pajamas or work from bed at first, things can become unproductive quickly if you’re not properly managing your time. 

Working remotely is more popular now than ever before. Technology has given us the opportunity to take workplaces we never thought possible. Do you want to work in your pajamas from your bed? Do you want to work on the beach while on vacation? Working remotely can make these things possible.

It seems like a dream to have opportunities like this, but in reality, it can become challenging quickly. While working from your pajamas or even on a beach seems luxurious, these are still experiences that you can’t do all the time. These beneficial scenarios can be reserved for sick days or times when you might not have much work, but for the most part, it’s best to stick to a structured schedule. 

For someone who is used to working in an office, or just someone lacking motivation in general, working from home isn’t the dream many believe it to be. 

Whether it’s barking dogs, energetic kids, or even another partner in the house working remotely that has you distracted, there are some saving graces. As a remote working newcomer, you don’t have to be afraid of your life being chaotic the entire time your home doubles as your office. 

Through the actionable advice I go over in this article, you can be not only efficient, but happy as you navigate your new “office.” Everyone is different, and what methods work for you might not for someone else. Go at your own pace and remember the most important thing is that you are getting your work done as needed. 

Working From Home

What does it mean to work remotely? Not all jobs can be done from the comfort of your home, but if the majority of your work takes place online, it’s easy to do so. Running your own business and working on the phone are also possible from the comfort of your home. 

There are many benefits to consider when working remotely. You can create your own schedule, spend more time with kids or pets, and not have to worry about someone watching you like a hawk while you work. Even with these benefits, it’s easy to fall off track. One missed day of work can bleed into the next, and before you know it, you’re struggling after a couple of weeks. 

There are three key elements you must remember as you navigate the remote working world. First and foremost, your setup is crucial. If you don’t have the proper space to work, it’s easy to become distracted and lose your focus. Even the color of the walls in your office could keep you from having full focus. 

Productivity should be one of your main concerns. Rather than making work fit into your schedule, you should be creating a schedule based around your work. This way, you can be the most productive as possible, giving your focus and attention to completing your work. 

Above all else, you have to manage your mental and physical health. If not, it can catch up to you and prevent you from having the ability to complete tasks as needed. 

Remote Home Setup

How you set up your space will dramatically affect your ability to work. What you see and what you are surrounded with create the atmosphere for your brain to function. If it’s chaotic and filled with distractions, you’ll be lucky to be able to focus on anything at all. Take these key steps to make sure you have the most efficient environment possible. 

Find a Dedicated Spot

Have a spot that you do nothing else but work in. Our brains get used to snapping into a certain mindset depending on the space that we are in. If you are sitting at a desk, you might be more efficient than sitting on the couch. When you create a space that you do nothing else but work in, your brain is more likely to snap in that mindset the moment you sit down on a chair. 

Don’t work in bed. While it seems like a comfortable way to get things done, it can really destroy your focus. Your brain will associate the place with sleep, making it harder for you to keep your eyes open. You’ll also realize it’s harder to get a good night’s sleep because you’ve created a bridge between the two different modes. It’s bad for your back as well, and you can end up taking longer to get things done when you’re in the wrong position. 

Don’t work at the kitchen table. The same thing goes for this place. If you’re used to eating and chatting while sitting down for dinner, you can have trouble concentrating. You might find that you’re only eating snacks when you should be working. Family members might also be walking by, causing further distraction. 

Be cautious of your view. Sometimes sitting in front of a window might seem like a good way to entertain you. However, even watching a squirrel dart through the trees could keep you from concentrating. 

Sit in a similar way to how you did at your office job if you’re transitioning into the work at home life. Having the same setup makes it easier for your brain to get used to this new work environment. If you have the same desk/chair layout, your brain will start to think it’s already at work. 

Face your desk towards a wall and not towards the TV. You could try sitting in front of a window but track your time to see if your focus is going outside too often. Ideally, you should have a dedicated office if you have the space. If you do, make sure that you never do anything else here. Even gaming on your computer in the same space you work could be dangerous. It might be hard to resist opening up the game when you’re also working. If you have a desktop computer it’s hard to not game, internet surf, and do other things in the same place you work. Try at least changing up the mood, perhaps with different lighting or music when you go from work mode to relax mode. 

Not everybody has the luxury of having multiple rooms in their home, so maybe your kitchen table is the only option. While not ideal, you can still make it work. Transform the space to make it feel like an office. Lay out all of your papers and essential tools for the day. Turn off distractions and close the blinds or any doors to make the space feel more enclosed. See if you can schedule times to work in this space without distractions, meaning any family members only come around in emergencies. You could ask for at least an hour of no noise and no traffic in these spaces, making it easier to focus on your work. 

The most important thing to remember is to pick one singular spot to work, transform this in a way that makes you comfortable, and don’t do any other activities in this space. Don’t eat, watch TV, sit on your phone, or conduct any other activities that pull your focus. The more dedicated your mind to this space, the easier it is for you to snap into the right headspace. 

Treat it Like Regular Work

Keep your routines the same. If you wake up, brush your teeth, eat breakfast, and leave the house for work by 8 A.M. do the same thing. Working from home might mean you get to sleep in a little later, and that’s fine to take advantage of. However, keep these morning routines in place and simply do them later. For example, your commute might be an hour and it takes about a half an hour to work through your morning routine. Use the hour of the commute to sleep in but keep those motions of eating/getting dressed in place. Don’t just roll out of bed and start working, thinking you’ll get your coffee or breakfast later on. Be ready to work and to commit yourself fully by completing things beforehand. 

Get dressed! While it’s nice to stay in your pajamas, you still want to get dressed, comb your hair, and prep for the day. You don’t have to put on a suit, but change out of your pajamas into a new outfit. Try to at least put on something you could be comfortable wearing to the grocery store, or at least answering a video call in from your boss. This way, you’re giving your mindset that reminder to shift into work mode rather than wanting to crawl back into bed. 

Don’t eat all day long. Schedule in regular times for meals and snacks. If you don’t, it’s easy to always have to have a snack right there. Don’t eat where you work either. Some days you might be rushed and have to eat a sandwich while you watch a presentation, but unless it’s an emergency, take a lunch break. Do this in a new place to resist the urge to want a snack by your computer all day long. 

Put your phone away. Of course, if your phone is essential for your work, keep it on you. But other than that, put it away to make sure you resist the urge to check it constantly. You might not be able to see your friends’ Snapchat or Instagram posts when you were at the office with your boss able to see what you’re doing. However, when you’re at home you can check each new notification! With this also comes the desire to open up other apps and check in on things that you forgot about. Schedule in specific times to check your phone, like during lunch or bathroom breaks. 

Avoid Mental and Physical Clutter

Any physical object that is in front of you can take some of your attention away. Whether it is a large object, like an unfinished home improvement project, or small bits of clutter like unread books, these can pull your focus. Even if you aren’t actively thinking about how you need to get these things done, your subconscious mind still takes energy to visually analyze your setting. You are still preoccupying the back of your mind with all the things that you need to give time to in the future. 

This can keep you stressed out and trigger deeper thoughts. If you have to look at the unfinished wood floor, you might start to think about all of the projects you’ve failed to complete. Ruminating on these moments might make you feel like a failure and take a hit at your self-esteem. 

Do your best to keep the space organized to give your brain less to process. You want to cultivate an area where your brain has no option but to focus on everything in front of it, and that should only be the tasks that need to be completed. Even if you can’t physically clean them up, at least covering them up or storing things in a closet can ensure you won’t be visually pulled from what you should be focused on. 

Partner Up

Even if you and a partner aren’t doing the same work, having someone else there with you can make you more productive. It makes you feel like you are at the office when you can hear someone else typing away or making phone calls. Someone else can also hold you accountable and even be there for support when you might get stuck. When you’re working from home it’s easy to feel like you’re missing out or wondering what others are doing. Since your phone is right there, it’s easy to text a bunch of people as needed. Sometimes you might even feel lonely and just want to chat quickly. A working buddy is a good way to make sure this doesn’t keep you from being productive. 

Remember communication can be harder when you’re working from home. Some people might schedule themselves to work at night while you’re ready to get started at the crack of dawn. Try to keep communication as digital as possible and schedule calls or meetings ahead of time to make sure everyone will be available. 

Create an Efficient Schedule

Schedule your day before it starts. The best method to do this is to create a loose structure of what your days will look like before the week starts, either on Friday of the previous week or Sunday before getting started. Then at the end of your workday, you can make a more detailed outline of your schedule, including times if necessary. Keep your schedules looser but structured to account for anything unexpected. Keep in mind you still have to have a structure to ensure you’re staying on track. 

Schedule in moments for breaks. While it might not seem necessary, breaks are important to help you keep chugging along. You can’t be expected to work for 4 hours straight. The most you should work at a time is 90 minutes. Give yourself 5- or 10-minute breaks throughout the day, and make sure to have at least 30 in the middle of the day for lunch. 

Schedule time to look at your phone, too. Rather than just having it and freely checking it all the time, decide when you will look at it. This way you won’t lose 10 or 20 minutes at a time because you’re glued to the screen. 

Schedule moments where you physically move your body. You should do some light stretches or just go for a quick walk to get your body moving. It’s not good for your health to sit for long periods of time, so don’t force yourself to do this. Even getting up and jumping a couple times throughout your day could be enough to keep you focused. 

Stick to the schedule as best as you can but remember one of the perks of working from home is being flexible. 

“Clock out” at the end of the day. Since most of us are still only getting paid for a specific set of hours, you have to remember to clock yourself out. Give yourself a goal time to be done for the day, and then a cut-off time. You can hope to be finished by 5 P.M., but then make sure by 6 P.M. you don’t allow yourself to work anymore or else you could end up overworking yourself. It’s easy to let work and home life constantly blend together if you’re not cutting yourself off. This can leave you feeling stressed out and always thinking about your job rather than yourself. 

How to Be Productive at Home

Being a remote worker might seem like you’d be less productive. There are so many distractions. This can be a time in your life when you’re actually more productive. One of the advantages of your flexibility is that you can come up with the most productive schedule possible based on your needs and strengths. 

Identify Your Strengths and Weaknesses

Everybody is different which means we all work differently as well. What are you good at, and in what areas could you improve? When you can understand the ways you work best, you get a better idea of when your peak productivity moments are. 

All of us are different types of workers. Some people are better at communicating and others would rather work independently on their own. Since you will be working from home, you are going to be your own manager. Therefore, it is your duty to recognize what you are best at. At the same time, you have to become more aware of the things that you aren’t so great at. Maybe you aren’t good at reading and editing on your own. Maybe it’s creating schedules that you have trouble with. By picking out what you are good and bad at, you’ll then be able to create more efficient schedules. If you know that you’re terrible at task A, but good at task B, you would put each of those in a different time slot. Task A would be better completed if you are working at those more productive moments. Task B might be something you save for those unproductive times like Friday afternoons when you simply want to rush through your work.

By knowing what you excel at and what needs more effort, it’s easier to accommodate an individual layout for how you’re going to be completing tasks.

Create Small Goals and Milestones

Create smaller goals throughout your day and week, then have larger milestones that you try to achieve quarterly or monthly.

These small goals might be to get a certain amount of work done. Maybe you want to get better feedback. Whatever these smaller milestones are, have at least one a day. Even if it’s something like cleaning out your office space, that’s a fine goal to have. At the end of the week, once you’ve accomplished these goals, you’ll feel better. 

By giving yourself little things to be proud of along the way, it continues to boost your productivity. You can’t work if you feel regretful, stressed out, or like you aren’t doing enough. It’s hard to focus when you’re constantly anxious about the things you could or couldn’t do. If you are not successful, and feel like a failure, then you can end up acting in that way, potentially sabotaging yourself again in the future. 

Have these minor moments of reward and give yourself actual prizes. Maybe you decide to order out for dinner instead of making something at home. Perhaps you decide to binge watch your favorite show instead of catching up on a side project. Give these little rewards to consistently remind yourself that you are a good worker and efficient. It creates productivity because it’s the little boost needed to get through the next task.

Don’t Try to Multitask

Doing two things at once seems like the best way to knock things out as quickly as possible. 

Every time you multitask, you’re giving 50% of your focus to those two different things. If you focus 100% on something, it can be done quicker than when you elongate it over a period of time. You can multitask for subconscious activities and minor things that don’t require 100% of your attention as is. For example, doing dishes while you watch TV is fine, as the dishes are more passive activities you do with your hands. 

However, if they are tasks that you do need to be very focused on, they should be completed individually.

If you don’t believe that this is true, then try tracking your time on two different days. Come up with two similar tasks. On day one, do the tasks at the same time, and track how long it takes you to finish them. On day two, dedicate a timeslot to each task. You might discover that these two tasks take you three hours on the first day, but only one hour each on the second day. 

Multitasking is our brain’s way of trying to alleviate some of our anxiety. If you’re feeling rushed or are behind on work, it can be a way to make you feel like you’re being more productive. Don’t let your brain fall for these tricks and remember you could actually be splitting your focus along the way.

Practice Mindfulness and Use Affirmations

When you’re at home, there are endless distractions. You might think about the dishes that you need to do, the laundry that needs folded, or maybe the dog won’t stop bothering you with their toy. 

Mindfulness as a way to keep you in the present instead of worrying about the, “I should do this” or the, “I could do that” thought patterns. 

Rather than letting yourself get connected and distracted by each little thing that falls into your lap, you can close your eyes, take a breath, and put yourself back in the center of your work. Mindfulness is simply becoming aware of your surroundings. To be mindful, pick out physical objects in the room to pay attention to. 

Become aware of the things that are surrounding you and how you might exist in this space now. A simple mindfulness activity is to pick out one item for each of your senses. This would include something that you can smell or taste or touch. You can also identify objects of a certain color. This simple act helps to clear out your brain momentarily so you can think to yourself, okay, I have to get back to work. You can also have a physical mindful object to continue to pull you in. 

This might be something like a note card that reminds you to just keep working. You can also include affirmations around your house, so when you are feeling distracted you can repeat the affirmation. Say the word out loud and hear how it comes out of your mouth to keep you motivated and mindful. Affirmations are simple truths and statements that help to reaffirm an idea in your head. For example, I can do this, I am productive, I am the best, and I am intelligent, are all different types of affirmations.

Remember Something is Better than Nothing

If you can’t do the task in front of you, at least try something else. Your time should be used, even if it’s not used directly on what you were hoping for in that moment. 

For example, maybe you wanted to write a 10-page paper in a day. After four hours, you’ve barely managed to write a sentence. In this situation, the worst possible scenario is that you do nothing at all. Instead, see if there is another task you were going to do later and swap out the time. For example, maybe you wanted to write between 10 A.M. and 4 P.M. It’s almost 2 and you haven’t written a single word. Maybe you planned to work out and do dishes between 4 and 6. Do those things now and come back to writing later. You can’t always force yourself to get into the right mindset, so the swap could be what’s needed to actually get something done. Wasting your time is always worse than just giving in to another task at the moment. 

Staying Mentally and Physically Fit

It’s important that you remain both mentally and physically strong. Each of these areas of your body will require nourishment and care. Just like you have to rest your muscles in between moments of exercise, you have to give your brain these same periods. There are four corners to your health. These include your stress management, diet, sleep patterns, and exercise. When it comes to managing your health overall, remember the tips in the next few sections. 

Get the Best Sleep Possible

Sleep is important because it is your brain’s time to reset. Every night when you go to sleep your brain enters different stages. At first, you are in a simple state of restfulness where your mind is drifting away. These are moments where you might have dreams that interact with reality.

The second stage gets you a little deeper and more restful, which is usually where you’ll start to dream, and the third stage is when you reach that deep and heavy sleep. This only comes after about 90 minutes and you cycle through the stages multiple times throughout the night. In order to reach that deep state, you have to give yourself the ability to be completely relaxed. 

Even when you are sleeping, you can be distracted. Having the TV on, bright lights, and even your phone vibrating could keep you up. Though you might not fully wake up to read the texts, your brain can still hear them going off if your phone is beeping all night. Make sure that you stick to the same schedule every night. Our bodies have certain rhythms and patterns they are in. When you have specific time to dedicate to sleep each night, it’s easier for your mind to get into that deep sleep because that’s what it’s used to doing. As a remote worker it’s easy to sleep when you want, but you could be doing damage to your body if you’re not careful. 

Give yourself a resting period before you go to bed each night. There should be about 30 minutes of zero screen time and relaxation before your scheduled time to fall asleep. 

Everybody should get seven to eight hours of sleep a night, which means you need to be in bed 30 minutes before that. If you have to wake up at 7am, don’t get into bed right away at 12am, because you’re not giving yourself that time to rest.

Instead, if you have to wake up by 7, 11:30 is the latest you will want to get into bed to make sure that you can fully de-stress and become calm before falling asleep. In this period of restfulness, do not sit on your phone. You can have a specific book you might want to read, and you can try some light yoga and breathing exercises. However, give yourself this time and don’t have bright screens that keep your mind stimulated.

Choose ‘Brain’ Food

Having proper health is all about good nutrition. This involves choosing foods specifically to help you be healthier. Choose mind-focused foods that enhance your brain power. This includes highly fatty fish such as tuna, mackerel, or salmon. 

Omega three fatty acid foods are rich in the vitamins and minerals needed to boost your brain’s energy. Inflammation can also cause mind fog, lethargy, and a lack of mental concentration. For this reason, you should choose antioxidant foods such as berries or leafy greens like spinach. Choose tea and coffee to help stimulate your brain but remember too much sugar can lead to mental crashes. Your brain’s main energy is carbohydrates, which means that healthy whole grains like oatmeal or wheat bread can give your brain the energy needed to stay mentally focused. You’re not just feeding your stomach when you choose what to eat, but you’re also feeding your brain.

Never Forget About Hydration

Sitting behind a desk all day doesn’t seem like the most thirst-inducing activity. It’s easy to go hours without drinking water because you can zone out so easily. 

Everybody needs to drink eight 8-oz glasses of water every single day. There’s a good chance that you are not doing that already, but you especially should strive to go beyond just this. 

Water is so important because it helps make us feel more energized. Before you do anything else in the morning, drink a glass of water. Don’t stand there and chug it but instead take small sips and breaks in between to let your body process this.

You might find that having a cup of water before you do anything else in the morning gives you more energy than your cup of coffee. Make sure you have water with you all day long. It’s important to not have snacks at your desk to resist constant eating, but you should encourage constant drinking. Keep a water bottle with you and remember that room temperature water is ideal for your body to process. Ice water and any flavors or fruit infusion you might add are fine, as long as you are getting the right hydration throughout your entire day. Remember you can also eat water through highly juicy foods like watermelon or celery.

Try Breathing Exercises

Breathing exercises can be included with physical activity and even mindfulness to help give you mental clarity. By focusing on your breathing, you’re giving your brain the chance to reset itself before getting back to work. Breathing exercises are great to do when you are feeling stressed out, or even while you have those 5- or 10-minute breaks. One simple breathing exercise is to breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth. As you do this, count up from one to 10 when you breathe in. When you breathe out, countdown. Go at your own pace and put your hand on your belly to feel the air come in and out. By doing this you are giving your brain the chance to be focused on yourself, clearing out any stress that might be consuming your thoughts.

Another breathing exercise is to alternate the nostrils that you breathe in and out. You can also try breathing in through your nose, holding it for a second, and then breathing out through your nose as hard as you can. Any one of these exercises can help your brain feel better. You’ll realize after doing one of these that you almost get a high that helps to decrease your stress and improve your mood. The more that you do this throughout the day, the more likely you are to feel better all the time. 

Make Time for Physical Movement

Everyone should strive to get 30 minutes of physical activity every day. When you are creating your schedule, ensure that you are allotting the time for this. 

You might not be able to get 30 minutes every day, but you should make sure you get an hour or more to make up for that lost time each week. Physical exercise is important for your brain and for your body; it helps to ensure that you are focused on energizing and staying physically fit. Try out different exercises first to see what you feel comfortable with. Not everybody succeeds on a treadmill. You might instead do yoga, karate, or take a dance class. Boxing, basketball, and other sports are also great ways to keep you not only involved with your health, but potentially with your community. Physical exercise helps to reset your brain and decrease stress. It makes it easier to work out any physical pain that might also keep you from being totally focused on your work. Not everybody has to be an Olympic athlete, but we all should strive to at least go for 20-minute walks throughout the week. Make exercise work for you rather than trying to fit into the mold of what you think exercise should look like for everybody.

Give yourself small milestones and remember that even working out for five minutes is better than not working out at all.

Summary

Working from home isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. If you let time slip away from you it can be hard to get it back. The tasks we have to do don’t always go away, so don’t expect them to automatically. 

Most of us know the work that has to get done, so it’s not a matter of what to do. The real issue is putting the effort into focus. When you’re not in the right headspace, it’s hard for your mind to go towards completing tasks at hand. 

This is why it’s essential we create a “work only” space. Physically locating your body in a productive environment will translate mentally. 

Focus on your health and taking care of your body. What you put in your body and how much you move it plays a huge role in your ability to concentrate on tasks that need completed. At the end of the day, all that matters is that we’re getting work done! How it’s completed doesn’t always matter, just the fact that it is completed. This is the freedom of working remotely. Your boss won’t know the difference if you completed a task in your underwear or if you did it all while wearing your finest suit. You will know the difference, and not paying attention to these minor details can only set you back. Focus on what works for your efficiency and find your own rhythm. With the right habits and tricks, you can really make remotely working work for you.

Criticism, like evaluations, is an important aspect of being a manager. As managers, it is imperative that we understand the importance of giving and receiving feedback. Feedback, especially constructive feedback, is a respectful way of helping employees better themselves. It is a means of guiding them with honesty, directness, and dignity while not damaging their feelings and ego. When delivered in the right manner, it doesn’t create uneasy spaces within the four walls of the office but rather strengthens interpersonal bonds, which ultimately boosts the productivity and efficiency of employees.

The majority of managers find it hard to offer constructive criticism when it comes to pointing out areas of improvement. They struggle with finding the right balance between advising and criticizing, they fear their words might hurt the feelings of their employees, they worry if it will negatively impact their productivity by demoralizing them, etc.

But here’s a fact—you are going to have to get comfortable delivering constructive criticism. Really, really, really comfortable! Although it is hard enough to deliver it to anyone, it is the hardest when giving it to someone who always gets on your nerves or to an underperforming employee. To say the least, such situations require mastering the art of giving constructive criticism.

Therefore, in this article, together we shall learn how to give constructive criticism in a way that doesn’t hurt the receiver’s feelings as well as learn the differences between constructive and non-constructive criticism and how to use empathy to improve the impact of the criticism.

Understanding the Difference Between Constructive and Non-Constructive Criticism

The primary concern with giving constructive criticism lies in knowing what it is and more importantly, what it is not. Confused? Let us put it more directly. Not all the feedback you give is constructive in nature. Sometimes, your words, expressions, and actions can depict a story completely different from what you believe. You might think you are just advising someone to improve, but they might take offense to the language, expressions, or actions used. Faulting someone without the use of appropriate language and actions can seem disrespectful and aggressive—thus, it comes out as non-constructive criticism.

Not all criticism is constructive, however. It can sometimes be difficult to tell the difference between constructive and non-constructive criticism, whether you’re giving or receiving it. So, what really is constructive and non-constructive or destructive criticism and how do we differentiate between the two?

Constructive criticism is the practice of instilling confidence in the employee by gracefully and tactfully pointing out the areas that need improvement, only so that they can develop professionally on the job. Think of it as an art teacher evaluating the work of one of his students and telling him that although the art is brilliant as it is, there is still room for improvement. The ultimate goal is to encourage the student without putting him down or making him feel unvalued or bad. When feedback is perceived in this manner, the receiver doesn’t feel like a complete failure and stays focused on betterment. The receiver feels like he/she is on the right track and just needs to put in more effort to become a master. 

Conversely, non-constructive feedback or criticism aims at belittling the employee and insulting them outright. It is a practice used to put down someone and hurt their feelings. Instead of telling the employee that they are good as they are and just need to work on some areas of their work, a manager who criticizes destructively would say something like, “That was one terrible performance. I am so ashamed of you. I should have chosen someone else to do it. This was a total waste of time.” Now, if you notice, this type of feedback lacks two things. First, it labels the employee a complete failure and second, it doesn’t emphasize the areas where the employee needs to improve. The employee just knows that he made a complete fool of himself but doesn’t know how to rectify it. What is the end result? An employee leaving the room feeling defeated without knowing how he could have improved his work. 

To further differentiate between the two, here are the key differences to take note of and self-assess on. What have you been labeling as constructive criticism? Do you need to update your approach? 

In constructive criticism, the focus is on the present situation. The feedback given is only for something presented or done at the moment. When opting to critique someone constructively, ensure that the feedback relates to just one situation. That way, the receiver won’t feel like they are being critiqued for being a failure as an employee but rather over something they did poorly. Constructive feedback isn’t offered for something done in the past. Otherwise, it isn’t constructive. 

Destructive or non-constructive feedback often focuses on past errors. It usually implies that the person is not fit for any task whatsoever and is thus demeaning. It sounds something like, “Are you going to repeat the same blunder again?” or “I hope this is better than the last report you sent me.” Such statements are condescending to the receiver and makes them feel devalued and disrespected. Why? Because they might have worked extremely hard this time, putting their very soul into her work, and your attitude and words can really hurt them. 

The language used in constructive feedback isn’t judgmental. The receiver shouldn’t feel like they are being judged or objectified. Therefore, the use of objective language is crucial when giving constructive feedback. You should only state the facts or things observed. The employee shouldn’t feel evaluated negatively on something personal.

Non-constructive feedback is usually accompanied by personal insults and invectives. It is more about the personality of the individual and less about their faults. An example of this will look something like, “You are clearly clueless about what was asked of you. I am highly disappointed with what you have put forward. I guess it isn’t in you.”

This is a clear affront and this kind of feedback is definitely demotivating. Thus, be objective and only pinpoint the mistakes rather than attacking an employee’s work ethic. 

Additionally, constructive feedback is usually specific. It addresses the fault where it lies without beating about the bush. It is a direct and straightforward way of telling the employee where she lacked and thus, where she needs to improve. At the end of it, the receiver walks out knowing exactly what she needs to work on and what actions will help her improve. 

Non-constructive criticism is usually vague. It isn’t aimed directly at the problem. As a consequence, it leaves the receiver confused. It happens when managers feel shy or cautious about saying their views out loud. Therefore, they expect the receiver to take note and rectify the concerns on their own. However, this can further exacerbate the problem as both the giver and receiver might end up on completely different pages. Therefore, when giving feedback constructively, try to highlight points that need addressing and upgrading without being indirect about it. The more candid you are, the higher the chances of improvement. 

Now that you are familiar with the distinctions between the two, the next step is to learn how to critique constructively. 

Managers Take Note: Giving Constructive Criticism

No one likes to be criticized, no matter who the critic is. This is one reason why it is important to master the art of critiquing. As a manager or supervisor, chances are you will come across several situations where your word and observation about employee performances will be in question. So how do you go about critiquing someone constructively?

Here are some unspoken rules to abide by to ensure that by the time you are done giving your feedback, your employee’s face doesn’t reflect defeat or exasperation.

Do It One-on-One

The first unsaid rule is to never publicize. Even praises can leave awkward silences; criticism is a different story altogether. Whenever you find yourself in such a situation where feedback is required, summon the receiver for a one-on-one meeting. Not everyone likes to be the center of attention. A one-on-one meeting will feel more comfortable for both you and your employee. Besides, it isn’t a parade but rather personal feedback and thus should be provided in a calm and comfortable setting.

Choose the Right Time

Time and place matters as well. If you sense that the employee is already down or frazzled about their performance, there is no need to further embarrass them then and there. Your feedback can wait a day or two when they are in the right frame of mind and seem motivated to improve.

Take It Slow

It is best not to blurt everything out in one outburst. Remember, your goal is to help your employees overcome their shortcomings and not lose all their remaining self-confidence. Too much feedback given at one time can intimidate the employee. Pick one or two issues to talk about at max and leave the rest for another time and another day.

Sandwich It!

If you have been providing constructive criticism (even when doing it wrong), you might have come across the sandwich method once or twice. This is a popular technique to offer constructive feedback without hurting the feelings of employees. This eliminates the guilt and embarrassment that an employee might feel when called out for their mistakes. Here’s how you can use it to structure your feedback appropriately.

Start on a positive note by talking about the good things that the employee does/did. Then, slide in the parts that can be improved. Finally, end on a hopeful yet positive note. This doesn’t demean the receiver, they don’t lose their confidence in themselves, and they are better able to apply your comments toward self-improvement. 

Be a Good Listener

The communication between the critic and the receiver should be two-way. You must also listen to your employee’s reasons for the particular blunder, especially if it has occurred repeatedly. Ask probing questions about why the employee behaves or acts in a certain way. Try to understand his point of view, hear out his concerns, and then advise accordingly. Seek suggestions on what he thinks would be the best solution to overcome it. Discuss if training or counseling is required, etc. 

Offer Clarity

Explain what went wrong. Avoid implying dual meaning or complex messages. If there is something that your employee needs to work on, let them know that clearly. Offering clarity should be the ultimate goal of any form of feedback so that it is understood by the receiver. Mixed messages, especially the ones with a “but” in between them can be confusing. For instance, starting a sentence with praise and then using but before coming to the actual point can create a contradiction. The employee will have a nanosecond to wipe that expression of pride from her face as you finish the sentence. When you link praises and faults with words like “but,” “however,” or “although,” the receiver hears: “Don’t believe a word of what I just said before. Here’s how you messed up!”

Be Empathic

Express your concern so that the employee doesn’t feel demeaned. Show them that the reason you are highlighting these issues is so you can help them improve and you really wish to see them improve. A tone of concern paired with the right gestures and words adds a certain amount of sincerity. Ensure that the content of the feedback isn’t lost in sarcasm, anger, disappointment or frustration. Be considerate and let them know that you care. 

Avoid Pointing Fingers

Focus on the situation, issue, or behavior. Criticize the work, rather than the individual. Focus on the observable facts and state them gracefully, without making the employee feel under scrutiny. Explain your point of view instead of just pointing out the faults. Don’t state things like, “You are always late. Why can’t you be punctual?” Instead say something like this, “When you are late, everyone worries. It delays our rehearsals and the event starts late. Please try to be on time so that everything runs smoothly as we planned.”

Even though this is criticism, it isn’t blunt or degrading. It is purely stating the facts using appropriate words that don’t come off as bossy. 

End with Words of Encouragement

Avoid going over past mistakes as your closing statement. Ensure that the employee has received the feedback without feeling defensive or disheartened. If there is something that needs fixing, ensure that it is talked about in detail at the start of the conversation or during the middle of it. Ending on a negative note will leave the employee demotivated and all the stage-setting will be of no use. Chances are, they will only remember the discouraging words and forget everything else. It is like telling someone, “Thank you for coming, but I wished you hadn’t!”

How Empathy Improves Employee Reactions to Constructive Criticism

Feedback coming from someone dear is always welcomed and appreciated. In fact, criticism can be the best gift for someone you love. However, since workplaces require a more professional and controlled attitude, there can be little room for relational investment. This is one reason why criticism, be it positive or negative, is often received as an insult. 

But this practice can and should be revised. Empathy should be a primary tool to use when critiquing someone’s work. Time and again, it has proven effective. Employees respond to constructive criticism better when they feel that their manager or boss is a well-wisher and really wishes to see them improve and prosper. Empathic concern kickstarts positive changes and ripples throughout the firm. 

It is important that you, as a manager, are emotionally intelligent to give feedback with empathy. When done right, it can result in drastic changes in improvement, efficiency, productivity, and the overall state of mind of your employees. It will inspire instead of degrading them, motivate instead of discouraging them, and foster trust instead of threatening. A lack of empathy on the manager’s part can create dissonance. Organizations, where feedback is given in a degrading manner and without empathy can never flourish since the employees will never feel motivated and inspired to work their best. 

The impact of empathic concerns when giving negative feedback has been illustrated powerfully in a study of 177 people who participated via an online marketplace, Amazon’s Mechanical Turk. During the study, a video-based scenario was presented. In the first half of the video, the recruited people were shown a manager giving negative criticism to his employees. All the participants watched the same video at first. 

In the second part of the experiment, half of the participants were shown the remaining half of the video where the same manager showed empathic concern in the end and the other half watched the manager continue giving feedback without any empathic concerns.

Later the participants were asked a set of questions and expressed their views on the performance of the manager. The findings suggested that leaders who showed empathic concern while giving feedback were perceived as good bosses. Their style was rated more highly and more effective in terms of helping the employee improve. It was also revealed that when leaders showed empathic concern, the emotional reactions of the employees were less demotivated and more hopeful. The leader who showed empathic concern in the video was viewed as more promotable as well. 

The bottom line is that your most direct path to success as a team leader comes through clear, caring constructive criticism. It’s simply worth the time and effort to address the faults of your employees in supportive and positive ways!

Being criticized at work has been known to have a significant positive or negative impact on employee morale and, in turn, productivity. Whether it’s handed out verbally, in an email, direct messaging systems or even a social media platform, more often than not, the one given the task of providing feedback, often fails to consider how it might be received, especially when it’s unfavorable. 

The goal is usually to improve results at work, without considering the connection between morale and productivity.

Some research has shown that criticism of any kind actually closes down the same brain centers that are otherwise activated when talking about positive things. So, it’s simple to understand how being criticized by a manager or colleague might evoke negative thoughts, embarrassment and humiliation. When a group of employees are put on the defensive and feeling dejected from negative performance reviews, it can be devastating to a company’s bottom line.

Receiving criticism at work, whether it’s called “feedback”, “performance reviews” or “advice”, likely won’t go away. As a cornerstone of corporate culture, more often than not, its how companies get things done. So, if your chances of avoiding criticism at work are slim, it’s in your best interest, as both giver and receiver, to understand what it is and how best to harness its capacity for productive output and positive people.

Types of Criticizers

There are a few libraries full of psychology texts filled with numerous chapters dedicated to the breakdown and classification of the different species of human criticizers. The same can be said about how the different types of criticism might be grouped. 

Three Types of Criticism?

For example, one former psychologist concluded there are three different kinds of criticism: friendly, objective and hostile. A friendly critique comes from a place of caring and is aimed at helping the person. An objective criticism, as the name suggests, is backed by facts and research only. The person has no status or influence. Hostile criticism is inherently negative. Its target is the person and the person’s ideas and is meant to destroy. 

Four Types of Criticizers

While the above mentioned three types of criticism makes sense philosophically or theoretically, when you’re at work, it’s your co-workers, managers and others giving and receiving criticism. Thus, the more sensible approach to understanding workplace criticism is a concept, cleverly devised by journalist Ann Friedman, suggesting that there are four types of criticizers in our midsts. Do any of these sound familiar?

Critics

Critics might as well be robots. They are smart people and might actually be considered experts in your field. At work it may be your department manager or a colleague with more seniority or experience than you. Critics are focused on your work performance or, according to them, how and why you’re doing wrong. They’re not interested in you as the swell person you say you are.

Haters

Haters criticize because they can and because they’re hoping it elicits your reaction – ideally for them, you feel some version of bad. You know what’s worse? They don’t care how bad you feel, they’re uninterested in your growth and betterment. They barely know you, if at all. So, it’s all the more puzzling why they have this irrational desire to put you down. 

Frenemies

“A wolf in sheep’s clothing” might come to mind when describing frenemies. A word mashup of “friend” and “enemy”, these criticizers can be a little tricky to spot at first because you definitely know each other. At work, your frenemy is a colleague who made you believe they had your back, but as soon as an opportunity opened up, they were right there to put you down. To add insult to injury, your frenemy’s criticism has nothing to do with improving your work performance and everything to do with you as a person. 

Lovers

Lovers (in the most platonic sense of the word) want you to succeed. They put the time, effort and excitement into your personal growth and improvement. There is nothing irrational about their criticism. In fact, it’s downright constructive. Working with and for Lovers will get you far because that’s how they live.

Dealing with Criticism

Reacting to criticism, regardless of its origin or intent, is as common as anything we do as humans. For many of us, it’s practically automatic. In the heat of the moment, we’ll let our emotions take over and end up regretting it several hours later — and that’s just from feedback you knew you were getting. Imagine how things would develop if you were offered unsolicited advice or surprise feedback from a Critic or a Lover. 

If you’re prone to reaction, you can forget about hearing what’s being said about you or your work. Why get angry? What do you have to gain by putting up walls and ignoring feedback? Instead of getting defensive, you might consider that constructive criticism can be a blessing in disguise. The benefits far outnumber any drawbacks to being on the receiving end of some constructive feedback.

So why not learn to be less defensive and more logical about how to handle it in a more dignified and progressive way? Below are six ways to handle the awkward encounter with grace and tact!

Keep an Open Mind and Listen

Do not react. Instead, try actively listening to what’s being said about you or your work. This is no place for pride, so lock it away for the day. Take copious notes and assume the intentions of the person providing the feedback are genuine and that they’ve truly got your back and want you to succeed.

Know Your Triggers

Easier said than done. This isn’t just a sibling who knows which of your buttons to push to get you angry. This is your job. The criticizer probably doesn’t want to harm you. Take an objective point of view and try to identify exactly what was said to make you feel defensive or upset. You probably already know the answer, you’ve just never had to articulate it before. For example, if your manager suggests ways for you to improve your presentation skills, see that as your chance to become better at something, as opposed to taking it as an insult.

Think First, Respond Later

Check your temper at the door. It won’t help you in most work situations. More often than not, stalling your reaction, no matter how difficult it is for you, is the best way to get a handle on your situation. Take some time first to digest the full story. If you must, wait until you get home to get angry and say everything you really wanted to say earlier. Use an understanding friend or family member as a stand-in to your criticizer.

Use it to Become Better

Once you’ve blown off the steam you generated from recent criticism, come back to the table and understand how to use it to become better at what you do. Hopefully, that’s what your criticizer was intending on doing – helping you become better. Can you imagine going through life without someone giving you feedback? Don’t just bury your head in the sand. If there’s something valuable you can learn from, go for it!

Go Easy on Yourself

Getting criticized isn’t the end of the world. Keep in mind, we all have something to learn and the more we know the better. Making mistakes or actually failing to do something perfectly does not make you a failure. It means you’re working and making progress. So, take it easy on yourself.

Express Gratitude

Say thank you for your constructive criticism, even when it feels hard to digest. Your positive attitude may come as a shock to them. Responding with gratitude will turn the tables on your criticizers, more so if they were frenemies or haters. Besides, it’s always better to take the high road no matter what type of critique was thrown at you.

Dealing with Criticizers

It can be a challenge knowing what to do with criticism when it’s coming from any of the different types of criticizers. Unless you really know them on a personal or professional level, your approach should always be rational and level-headed. More often than not, the source of the criticism is just as important as the content of the critique. Here’s how you can deal with the critics, haters, frenemies and lovers in your life.

Dealing with Critics

Pay keen attention to the critics. They aren’t being negative for the sake of being negative. Since they don’t know you personally, like frenemies, their criticism is unbiased and usually quite constructive. Take what they’ve imparted to you and work on the areas they’ve pointed out that need improvement.

Dealing with Haters

The best reaction is no reaction for haters. It’s what they love doing. Nothing they say is meant to be helpful, so do your best version of one person actively ignoring another. Their “feedback” is counterproductive. Just know that some people will always have something negative to say about you – especially if you’ve become successful.

Dealing with Frenemies

Accept their words gracefully, but don’t take them personally. Better yet, use this as an opportunity to reevaluate your relationship with them. Now you know what you can and can’t say to your frenemy because, if they can, they will use it against you. As well, on the off chance they’re not making it personal, try to determine if they’re criticizing your work or your work style? If it’s the latter, ignore it. If it’s the former, fix it.

Dealing with Lovers

Because they are wholly invested in you, their criticism is more akin to friendly feedback in support of your growth and happiness. You can definitely seek their advice on what they believe requires work and how to approach these changes. You have to tell lovers to just say what’s on their mind because they’re more concerned with sparing your feelings, rather than telling you what you need to hear. Appeal to their sense of greater good by letting them know that their feedback will help you become better at what you do.

Conclusion

If you make any form of content that you put out into the world, then there will always be criticism that follows. In my experience, a lot of feedback tends to be positive. Sometimes I get constructive criticism from someone who genuinely cares and wants to help. I always appreciate that. I also, from time to time, get people just being nasty jerks, especially on Twitter, which seems to be where the dregs of society lurk amongst some genuinely nice people. If I am honest, people giving bad and ugly feedback used to hurt, I am human after all and have feelings. Over time I have learned just to ignore feedback that isn’t helpful.

My dad always had a phrase he used, which I think about all the time. He said, “Opinions are like arseholes. Everyone has one. Most of them stink.” I think this is wise advice.

In my opinion, if you create anything, no matter whether a blog post, a video, a report for work, do your best work, and unleash it to the world only when you are happy with it. Provided you are satisfied with the end result, then nobody else’s opinion should matter. If someone wants to give praise or useful constructive feedback, then that’s fantastic. If someone wants to be a jerk to you, just ignore them, they are not worth the effort. Go forth and create your best work and enjoy the creative process.

Technology has come so far so fast that there’s little incentive to be creative with so many resources available. Sometimes those resources are so plentiful that they can be overwhelming. 

Think about something as simple as taking a picture of a child playing with a ball. Before the age of photo imaging, pictures were innocent, and with that innocence came creativity. The shot was snapped, and candid memories were treasured. Today, it’s hard to see a photo that hasn’t been altered in some way. There’s no need to worry about how the picture will come out because whatever is needed will happen with a computer and a photo editing program. 

Imagine taking a step back in time to when simplicity bred creativity. It can happen for you, and we’ll explain how.

Embrace Constraints 

Have you ever watched a toddler open a present on Christmas morning? So often, the contents, which are often toys, are tossed aside, and the child will stay occupied for hours playing with the box. My seven-year-old son still does this as he likes turning boxes into robots. There can be many shiny, new toys surrounding the child that remain untouched as the box is center-focus.

If all of the toys were removed, and all that was left was a large box, what would the child do? Most likely, they will climb inside and pretend it’s a truck, a spaceship, or even a robot. With or without many options, a child will limit his or her choice by choosing the most imaginative. 

If you were to give a child nothing more than a box and a crayon, they would embrace the constraints and unleash their creativity. The box would be decorated and morphed into something fun and imaginative, such as a dog or a race car. 

When you too have limited resources, you will make do with what you have, and you may find it sparks your creativity in ways you never knew existed. We have become so accustomed to smartphones and PCs that we forget to use our creativity. 

Constraints help us to boost brainpower. When you think about it, unless we are forced to think, we don’t need to give much thought to what we do throughout the day. So much of our day is spent subconsciously doing what we need to do. 

Too often, technology does the thinking for us and removes the obstacles. When we drive, we have a mysterious voice guiding us to our destination. The GPS that most vehicles come equipped with will guide you through traffic and tell you when to turn and when to stop. Your car’s computer will guide you as you back up, and it will notify you when you have a soft tire. 

Technology has removed obstacles, and, in turn, has removed the disadvantages that led to creativity. If you want to unleash your creativity and inventiveness, you first need to limit your choices. This won’t be easy if you are dependent on technology for your job or home life, but it can be done.

Start Slow

You don’t want to dive head-first into unlocking limited creativity because, as strange as it sounds, you might have withdrawal symptoms. We often don’t realize just how dependent we are on technology, and too rapid a change can be hazardous. Not only does technology stifle our creativity, but it can also paralyze our senses.

Minimalists learn to be creative when they gut their homes and their lives of unnecessary clutter. You don’t need to become a minimalist to restore unlimited creativity, but you do need to minimize your choices. Limits and obstacles aren’t always a bad thing. They can fuel our thought process and broaden our perception. 

The next time you need directions, pull out a paper map to find your way. Stop at a petrol station and ask the assistant what way to go. Remove the barriers that prevent human contact. Slowly, withdraw using your electronic devices all the time for things you once did manually and start “doing it for yourself” rather than “having it done for you.” You might be surprised how your creative juices will flow and how you can overcome obstacles by putting your brain to work in full gear. 

Embrace Challenges 

It’s time to take advantage of your disadvantages. 

Marissa Mayer, former vice-president for search products and user experience at Google once wrote in a publication in Bloomberg, “Constraints shape and focus problems and provide clear challenges to overcome. Creativity thrives best when constrained” (Mayer, Feb. 13, 2006). 

When you have less to work with, you’ll see the world in a different light. We’ve all heard the expression to think outside of the box. We can do this when we have limited resources. We know the story of what Benjamin Franklin did with only a kite and a key. He made a kite using two sticks, a piece of string, and a handkerchief; He placed a metal key in a Leiden Jar designed to store electricity and proved that lightning and electricity were the same, which was an important discovery that used only basic and limited tools to discover. Whether it was bifocals, the Franklin stove, or swimming fins, Franklin had limited resources, and constraints sparked his creativity. You need to release the shackles of your brain and let it begin to embrace challenges. 

A study conducted in 2015 by Ravi Mehta at the University of Illinois and Meng Zhu at Johns Hopkins University found that people have no incentive to use what’s available to them in novel ways (Mehta & Zhu, 2015). 

When we are faced with scarcity, it gives us the freedom to use resources in less conventional ways because we have to. We are forced to tap into our mental creativity.

We’ve often heard on the news how a lost person survived many days in the woods with limited resources. These people survived not only because their survival instinct kicked in, but also because they were forced to tap into their mental creativity.

 Don’t fear a challenge. Don’t look at it as an obstacle that you can’t overcome. Think of it as reinventing yourself.  Boundaries aren’t always a bad thing, and to free your mind, you need to stop thinking that they are. 

There’s a study that was supposedly conducted years ago that has been repeated many times over in high school and college classes around the country. No one has been able to cite the original research. We don’t even know if it indeed was an actual study, or merely a fable so that students would learn the concept of unleashing their inner self, but it sends a powerful message. 

Researchers took a group of young children to a large city park. There were all sorts of things to play on–swings, monkey bars, Maypoles, see-saws, and merry-go-rounds. When the children were told they could do whatever they wanted, they remained in a group. They moved from playground equipment to playground equipment together, never straying from one another.

The researchers next took the group of children to a smaller fenced-in park, where, again, they were told they could play and do whatever they preferred. This time, the children spread out and no longer stayed in a group.  The moral of the story is that the more you’re constrained, the freer you are. Freedom comes from constraints. Boundaries free our creativity.

Don’t Feel Defeated

When faced with many obstacles, it’s easy to feel defeated. You might throw your head into your hands and say, “Why me?” Obstacles are omnipresent, and you’re not going to escape them. That’s why you need to get out of the “Why me” mindset and face the challenge before you. You can do it if you only look at it from a different perspective. Be a problem-solver. Don’t turn to your phone for a solution; turn on your brainpower. 

Don’t let obstacles and constraints steal your ambition. Don’t focus on the barrier, focus on the way around it. When you come to a detour in the road, do you stare ahead to where you can’t go, or do you drive around the barricades?

Self-Evaluate 

You’ve been given many examples of how we can re-train ourselves to limiting our choices so that we can be more innovative and creative in our lives. 

Take some time to evaluate what you do and don’t need in your life. During your day, record how many times you’ve reached for your phone to do something that you could do manually. 

Try driving to an unknown designation on your own with a map. Turn off the GPS on the way to work. You know the way, so why do you need to be told how to get there? 

Start looking at ways you can be less dependent on electronics and more dependent on your brain. It won’t only help you to unlock your limited creativity, but the more you depend on your brain, the healthier it is for you.  So, go ahead, turn off your electronic devices and turn on your brain! Unleash the creativity that’s been hiding inside of you. You never know, you might give the world the next greatest invention!

This isn’t always easy, as we can be prone to procrastination and, let’s face it, laziness. True, we can be too lazy to do something we need to do. It’s so much easier to ask someone else or convince ourselves that it’s not worth the effort to perform a specific task or go to a particular place. 

I should write a book, but I doubt anyone would read it. 

I’d love to become an teacher, but going back to college… no way. 

The boss wants me to represent him at the award ceremony tonight, but I’d probably say or do something stupid.

I’m too tired to go to the gym today. Maybe tomorrow. 

Demotivators are continually looking for an excuse to avoid doing what they need to do to succeed, to reach their goals, or to simply do something or go somewhere. As shown in the above examples, there can be varying reasons for a lack of motivation. Whether it’s a headache or other physical ailment, a lack of self-confidence, or a lack of desire, you’ve probably been guilty of at least one instance of demotivation. 

We all have. And that’s why this article was written. We’ll explore some tips and techniques that will help you to get up and go, do the unthinkable, and conquer the world. 

Okay, so maybe you won’t conquer the world, but you can conquer your world. So, let’s get started!

Types of Motivation

There are two types of motivation: intrinsic and extrinsic. Intrinsic is when internal desires motivate people. They have goals and they pursue them. They have the inner drive to succeed.

Extrinsic motivation comes from an external source, such as your boss telling you that you need to be more productive.  These two types of motivation can be broken down into subcategories. They include fear, achievement, competence, power, attitude, and incentive. 

Of course, self-motivation is easily achieved when we fear something or someone. If we fear our boss will fire us, and if we want and need the job, self-motivation will kick in and we’ll perform better. If we come face-to-face with a bear when camping, we won’t need a push from anyone to take protective measures. 

Incentives are motivators for many people as we’re programmed to take action for a reward. Power motivates us to take risks, and achievement prompts us to do the best we can. Competence and attitude are also driving factors to do better and improve our lives. 

The purpose of this article is to focus on self-motivation so that we can improve our lives at home and at work. It’s important to recognize the difference between intrinsic and extrinsic motivation, as they can cross over at times. And we will examine techniques to get and keep you self-motivated!

Let’s Get Motivated

You’ve decided that you need something to kick you into action. You need to be self-motivated and you no longer want to procrastinate. Today is the day! But where should you begin? 

First, you’ll want to determine what in your personal or work life needs motivation. You might know the answer to this, or you might need to do a self-evaluation. Whichever applies to you, it’s time to stop thinking and start doing. We’ll begin by examining some techniques that will have you on your way.

Goal Setting

The first thing you can do to get yourself in the groove is to set goals. Large or small, goals will help you to get moving. 

You can give yourself one goal or break it down into sub goals. No matter which you choose, be sure to give yourself a time frame to ensure you stay on task. 

Let’s say you need to finish an important proposal for work and your boss needs it within the week. You haven’t had the motivation to do the research, let alone write a 30-page proposal. Not only do you have this project due at work, but your spouse has also been begging you to help close the pool for the summer.

You know you need to do these things, but at work you’re busy with day-to-day responsibilities, and at home you’re too tired to think about the pool or the proposal. When the weekend comes, you want “me” time, and it’s also the only time you have to mow the lawn, play with the kids, and have some quality time with your partner.

There’s so much to do and so little time. 

Instead of living in a constant state of fluster and having six things to do while only accomplishing one, goal setting can organize your life and provide you with the self-motivation you need to git ’er done. 

You should start by listing all the things you need to do. Yes, that’s right; you’re going to write a “to-do” list with short and long-term goals. You’ll prioritize your goals and keep them realistic so that you can adhere to them.

Taking the above example of writing the important proposal, you can commit to writing so many pages each day by dividing the word count into the number of days you have until the deadline. You’ll need to find a time each day when you can work on it without distractions. Pencil in your other commitments and make time to close the pool. You might want to add that to a weekend schedule so that you don’t get thrown off of your work schedule or return home from work too tired to take on a large task. 

Be sure to keep your list within reason. You don’t want to overschedule and defeat the purpose. Keep in mind that to be self-motivating, you also need to be realistic with your goals. This will ensure your motivation won’t turn into demotivation. It’s easy to set goals; sticking to them can be another story. The more realistic your goals, the more likely you’ll be successful.

Eliminate Distractions

You might find you’re motivated to hit the pavement running, but the kids need a ride to football practice, and you forgot you promised to mow the neighbor’s lawn when they’re away, and your phone is ringing non-stop. 

You need to remember other commitments when setting goals, and when you do have the opportunity to work on a project, be sure you eliminate anything that can distract you. Turn your phone ringer off or put it on vibrate, in case you do get an emergency call. Work in an area where you won’t have kids or co-workers disrupting you. If you like silence, find a place where there’s no noise. If you prefer to work around others, head to your local coffee shop or diner. If you work well on a sandy beach, do so. Wherever you choose to work, be sure you’re comfortable and you are in a place where you can do your best work. If you find you’re becoming distracted, you’ll be more likely to abandon what you’re doing, using the distraction as an excuse. 

You need to ensure that your time commitment is met, and that means if friends call and ask you to play tennis or golf or go to a movie, you’re prepared to say no. This is another reason why it’s wise to turn off your phone or silence it. And that means don’t check it every 10 minutes. Learn to live without it until your task is completed or your time commitment has expired.

Do your best to eliminate as many distractions as possible, and you’ll have a better chance of accomplishing your goals. 

Be Enthusiastic

Okay, so admittedly it might be hard to find the enthusiasm to go a pool for the summer. It’s about as exciting as changing the kitty litter. Whichever you do, you’re scooping, whether it’s leaves or pet evacuation. 

You’re probably thinking, “How am I supposed to be enthused about such a dirty, boring job?”

There’s a two-word answer to this question: think positive. 

That’s right. A positive attitude and motivation go hand-in-hand, like two lovers taking a leisurely stroll along a white sand beach with the hot sun meshing with a cool breeze.

All right, so perhaps it’s not that romantic, but you can make it much more satisfying if you take on the task with a positive attitude. Think of it this way: these chores need to be done. Winter will come and the pool will be ruined if it’s filled with snow and ice. Not to mention the greater task ahead when you open it the following summer if you don’t close it properly in the fall. And not tending to the litter box will leave you with one or more angry felines that will likely take it out on your new carpeting. 

Whatever you undertake, a positive attitude makes it go faster and smoother. You know you have the ability to do the task at hand, so it’s only a matter of self-motivation.   

A way you can be enthusiastic about a difficult or humdrum task is to keep your mind focused on the satisfaction of being finished. You’ll have the feeling of relief and accomplishment.  You’ll be able to sit back and say, “I did it.” You also might want to treat yourself to something special that you enjoy and don’t have very often. 

Be your own cheerleader and start chomping away at your goal’s list. You can do it!

Remember the Reason

As described above, you must remember the reason you need to do something. You know if you don’t finish a work project by your deadline that you could jeopardize your job. You know if you don’t close the pool for the winter, there’s a high probability it can be ruined or that you will have double the labor to do when you reopen it. 

There will always be a reason to do something and a reason to look forward to the end result. You change a flat tire so you can safely drive without causing more damage to your vehicle. You put out a bonfire, so a spark doesn’t cause a large, uncontrollable fire. You go to work on time each day, so you aren’t fired. You eat so you don’t die. 

For everything we do, there’s a reason. The reason should provide you with self-motivation to complete even the most mundane task. If it helps you, when writing your to-do list, state the reason you need to complete the task. You can gain motivation from the reminder of the reason. 

Learn It, Live It, Love It

You walked into work one day expecting the ordinary grit and grind, but before you could grab your first cup of java, your boss was at your desk giving you a new directive. Suddenly, you find yourself upstream on a river without a paddle, and there are no coworkers who can throw you a life vest. 

Somewhere deep inside, you need to find the motivation to succeed. There’s no one to help you, and the assignment you were given is uncharted territory. You don’t dare question the boss because he obviously had faith in you to get the job done; the problem is that you don’t have faith in yourself.

It’s a large undertaking, and you know you have a lot to learn. You don’t want to invest the time because your boss never presented an incentive, not even encouragement. 

How can you motivate yourself to get the job done? 

• Learn it
• Live it
• Love it

You need to go into the project with a positive, go-get-’em attitude. Stay positive and stay focused. Learn what the project is about. Do the research. Take an interest and make a commitment. Let the project become your life at work, as time allows. If your boss allotted you three hours each day, take it and use every minute. 

We sometimes feel as if we can’t keep up, or catch up, with the projects that are due. This is why you need to take the initiative and start immediately. Don’t wait, don’t procrastinate. As the saying says, “Just do it.” 

The more you ponder and hem and haw, the more behind you’ll become, and the more you’ll wish you had more time. That’s why you need to learn it, live it, and love it. 

You might be surprised at how rewarding the project is when it’s completed, and you can hand it to your boss with pride and a feeling of accomplishment. And, unless your boss is a complete jerk, you’ll be recognized and possibly rewarded for a job well done. 

More Motivational Techniques

Thus far, we have discussed some of the ways you can motivate yourself to do what needs to be done. There are more tips and techniques to explore. Let’s review them, and perhaps something will appeal to you.

Remember, we are focusing on self-motivation. There’s no one to give you the nudge you might need, and there’s no one holding you accountable. You only have yourself, so you’ll need to do whatever it is that works best for you.

Music

Music is a great motivator, and it’s something that takes little effort. Simply turn on your favorite tunes on your favorite mode of play. You’ve probably seen joggers and runners with earbuds, and you know they are listening to music to stay motivated. 

There are scientific studies to back the effect that music has on our brains. The term used to study the function of the brain in music processing is called neuromusicology.

The research has shown that music can increase productivity and happiness. It can induce creativity and increase efficiency. 

Let’s take a look at what some of these studies concluded.

• Those doing repetitive tasks work more efficiently when there is background music (Applied Ergonomics, 1972). 
• Surgeons are more accurate and efficient when they operate with background music. The research suggests that surgeons who work with music playing perform better than those who operate with no music (The Journal of the American Medical Association, 1994)
• A study conducted to correlate number identification and classical or rock music concluded that participants were able to identify numbers faster and with more accuracy while listening to music (Neuroscience and Behavior Physiology, 1999).
• For software developers, music is proven to aid in positive moods, better quality of work and improved efficiency (Journal of Psychology of Music, 2005).

As we can conclude from these studies, music certainly is deserving of its title as a motivator. Think about how many places you’ve been and there was music playing in the background.

Does your dentist use it to relax you? Is soft music being piped into your doctor’s office? Do you listen to the radio when you’re driving? Do you rock the tunes when you’re shopping at Walmart? 

There’s a reason our lives are surrounded by music. It relaxes us, de-stresses us and motivates us. To use music as your motivation, be sure it’s music you like, not random radio play, and that you keep the decibel level within reason. You don’t want to play your music so loud that it distracts you. You want it just loud enough to be motivational. 

If you’re a classical music kind of person or you prefer rock, throw in some earbuds or surround your ears with headphones and get to work. You might want to avoid music that’s depressing with lyrics about breakups and death. You’ll want music that will pump you up and get you moving. 

Artists, fitness gurus, teachers and many others in all walks of life use music as a motivational tool and you can too. Sometimes we forget to turn on and tune in when we’re working or working out, and it’s something so simple that can give us such rewarding results. 

Give it a try the next time you’re looking for self-motivation. 

Movies

Movies can also be a great means of self-motivation. Who doesn’t feel motivated when watching the final scene of Dead Poets Society? This is a move that makes anyone ready to conquer the world, dare to stand up for oneself, and accept challenges and overcome obstacles. 

Who hasn’t been inspired by Atticus Finch? And Mr. Holland’s Opus is a movie that many can resonate with when it comes to finding inspiration and desire. Rocky, of course, has inspired many–not only the movie but the film soundtrack. Who hasn’t been inspired by the The Greatest Showman? The soundtrack alone is perfect if you’re in need of motivation. 

Perhaps you find cartoons as motivators because of the humor. Laughter is the best medicine, and it can be very motivational. The more upbeat we are, the more likely we will be to tackle even the toughest project head-on. 

Motivational Quotes

The internet is saturated with motivational quotes. We see them everywhere, on wooden signs and in picture frames. They hang on our office walls and in school halls.  Some folks have them on their phones as screensavers and others receive daily motivational quotes. 

Visual motivation has been proven to work. Here’s a small selection of quotes for your visual stimulation. 

“A successful man is one who can lay a firm foundation with the bricks others have thrown at him.” ~ David Brinkley

“Success is walking from failure to failure with no loss of enthusiasm.” ~ Winston Churchill

 “Opportunities don’t happen, you create them.” ~ Chris Grosser

“Try not to become a person of success, but rather try to become a person of value.”        ~ Albert Einstein

“Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people.” ~ Eleanor Roosevelt

 “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” ~Thomas A. Edison

Motivational quotes and sayings work for many people and that’s why there’s a large demand for posters, wooden plaques, and refrigerator magnets. Hallmark cards are another example of popular motivational sayings. Most everyone has given or received a Hallmark card. 

If you glean inspiration from quotes, then by all means surround yourself with them. Hang them on your walls at home and at the office. 

Vision Boards

We talked about making a to-do list, and it’s similar to a vision board; however, a vision board is something larger and more visible, and it’s something you want to look at least twice a day for self-motivation. 

You’ll want to list a goal or an inspirational quote or both. You can add a graphic if you’d like as well. All you need is a dry erase board, some markers, and an eraser. You can change your board daily, weekly, monthly or never. It’s up to you. What’s important is that it’s in your pathway more than once a day.

If you don’t want to purchase a board and markers, there are websites that provide software to make an electronic board. 

Do you remember the days of passbook banking? When you’d want to save for a car so you’d tape a picture of the car you wanted to the front cover to keep you from making withdrawals for frivolous things? Consider your vision board as something like this. Your board will keep you on track and keep you from taking a detour from your goal. 

A vision board might not inspire you to change the kitty litter box, but it can inspire you to complete your work project. 

Blogs

There are those who can find inspiration by reading their favorite blog. If you’re looking for motivational blogs, you need look no further than Google. A search will return a plethora of blogs that serve to motivate you to do most anything. Whether you’re looking for a blog that will provide you with home, work, play, religious or exercise motivation, you need look no further than a search engine.

You can do a generic search for “motivational blogs” or you can search for subcategories such as “motivational blogs for students” or “motivational blogs for professionals.” If you have the time to read an inspirational blog and you find it helpful, by all means bookmark your favorites and indulge yourself. 

You may find that you want to write a motivational blog, and that will surely help you with self-motivation. You’ll need motivation to keep blogging. You’ll have readers who will depend on and look for new content. If you have the time to devote to blogging, start one today. There are plenty of people looking for inspirational blogs and there’s always room for one more. 

You don’t need to blog every day, but you will need to add new content every few days to keep things fresh and keep the interest of your audience. 

The Commitment

We have covered a lot of ground in these pages, but we haven’t talked about commitment. You see, you can have all the audio and visual aids in the world for self-motivation, but it won’t mean anything unless you’re committed. 

Self-motivation won’t work without a commitment to yourself. You need to follow your goals, grab your inspiration and spark your desire. Commitment will keep you going when your motivation takes a dip. Even if you employ every suggestion thus far, without commitment you will accomplish little. 

Sure, you might start out strong, but you can easily run out of steam, and staring at your inspirational quote will do nothing to get you back on track. 

You need to remember that even the most successful people fell off course a time or two, and failure can be one of life’s greatest motivators. If you commit to remaining positive, if you commit to achieving your goals, if you commit to staying on the path, then you can fully commit to self-motivation.

Be accountable to yourself and you’ll be better equipped to be accountable to others. Celebrate small victories and aspire to reach your ultimate goal. Commit to good habits. Commit to commitment. 

As mentioned above, a commitment to writing a blog is great for self-motivation. You can inspire others while inspiring yourself. It’s a win-win for you and for your blog readers. 

The only thing stopping you is you, so take the vow now to commit to self-motivation. You can do it, and once you do, you’ll be happy you did. 

Closing Thoughts

Self-motivation is a broad topic, and this condensed treatment of it is packed with helpful tips and techniques to start you on your way to self-motivation and keep you there. You might want to try one suggestion or several. You’ll want to do what works best for you to achieve your goals.

If you are already self-motivated, you can use this article to strengthen it. There’s always room for improvement, and there are always new things to learn. 

It’s not always possible to stay motivated. Life can get in the way. We might experience personal difficulties that slow us down. Health, family issues, work issues… they can all have an impact on our motivational efforts. We can become demotivated when we experience the loss of a loved one, the loss of a job, or the loss of a pet. 

It’s important, too, that we don’t confuse self-motivation with drawing inspiration from others. Just because someone motivates us, it doesn’t mean we aren’t self-motivated. 

You might work with a colleague who is perpetually upbeat and accomplishing all they set out to do. You can be inspired by their motivation and draw from it. That person isn’t consciously motivating you, and they aren’t pushing you to do anything. They are simply providing you with self-motivation. 

Remember, everything we do takes motivation. It took motivation to research and write this article, it takes motivation to get out of bed when the alarm sounds, it takes motivation to get to work on time each day, and it takes motivation to motivate ourselves to do the tasks that need to be done. Hopefully, you’ve learned some tips and techniques to help you with your self-motivation goals. Whether this article inspired you to change the litter box, goto the pool or finish a large work project, you have begun your motivational journey. Stay on course and reach your goals!

Having a great day at work is one of the top ways to boost your mood and self-confidence. When things are going right in the workplace, you feel a sense of security that just cannot be duplicated elsewhere. Most of us need this type of workplace stability to become successful and productive. If you have ever felt that you love your job and you don’t mind the work involved, but there is still something out of place, consider the relationships that you have built with your coworkers. Interpersonal connections are essential in your daily life, and this includes your professional side.

When you work in an environment where you feel that you can be heard and understood, you are more likely to succeed. Those with hostile work environments tend to not only be more stressed out on an average daily basis but also find ways to take this stress out on loved ones or other uninvolved people. Getting along with your coworkers and supervisors can make all the difference between a great day and a terrible one.

Consider the way that you communicate with your peers. Is the interaction healthy? Productive? Do you feel that you lack something? This course is meant to help you dissect your interpersonal relationships at work while striving toward more robust connections. 

Understanding Interpersonal Relationships

Your first step to creating better interpersonal relationships at work is to understand what an interpersonal relationship is. An interpersonal relationship is the nature of an interaction that occurs between two or more people. This type of relationship can fulfill your needs in some way, whether it be explicitly stated or implied. Know that you can have this type of connection with many people, not only those in the workplace. The same concept applies to your romantic partner, family, best friend, and even strangers that you briefly encounter. You can create a meaningful connection with just about anyone you choose, even if it isn’t long-lasting; this is why it is essential to focus on maintaining great work relationships; you will notice that you enjoy being at work a lot more.

Having an interpersonal relationship that you can define as “strong” involves being able to fulfill many of one another’s needs. For example, your boss might consider you a top contributor at work because you always show up on time, and you are willing to stay late to finish projects or fix emergencies by staying late if required. In this way, you provide your boss with reliability, a great work ethic, and a genuine and well-rounded personality. Your boss might reward you with praise and even the promise of a promotion in return for your efforts. This is an example of a healthy interpersonal relationship that is currently thriving.

You can also have a relationship like this with those you work with. Having healthy interpersonal relationships with your coworkers goes beyond merely getting along and tolerating one another for eight hours a day. To have a strong connection, you must be willing to communicate and work together. Setting differences aside is something that can commonly happen in the workplace. We are all unique individuals, so usually, we will clash from time-to-time. If you can set these differences aside to work toward a common goal, you are doing your part to create a healthy work relationship.

When you begin to shrink into the background of a workplace, it can be easy to slowly give up on your responsibilities because you are feeling discouraged. The more that you can work under these favorable conditions, the more you will be able to work on your self-esteem. As you are already aware, when you have confidence in your abilities, you will be more likely to step outside of your comfort zone. All of this will provide you with emotional and mental stimulation that is great for maintaining your focus and concentration during the day. 

It is normal to wonder why having healthy interpersonal relationships matter when you can work independently while still showcasing all of your positive skills. In most cases, it benefits you to act as a team player. Not only will you be able to complete tasks more efficiently, but you will also learn more methods of problem-solving by being open to other viewpoints. Having strong interpersonal relationships is another way to showcase your communication skills. When you can get a message across clearly and easily, you will probably find more harmony when working with others. While keeping to yourself might be one way to avoid potential issues, it is also an isolating behavior. It would be best if you aimed to be open and communicative, not distant and reserved.

If you find yourself at odds with someone that you work with, this could likely be an indication of a weak interpersonal relationship. Despite most common misconceptions, you don’t need to actively be in disagreement with someone to have a poor relationship. Maybe you don’t know the person well yet, or perhaps you have yet to make an effort to get to know them. One reason that two people might not get along is that they do not understand one another, and this can only change with some effort from both parties.

When you decide that you are ready to strengthen your relationship, determine what stage you are in with the person. The following are among the most common:

• Acquaintance: The very beginning stage of getting to know someone, being an acquaintance means that you have only met once or twice before. Maybe you know people in common or know this person because you work at the same company; this is the foundation for an interpersonal relationship, giving you room to grow. It can be hard to break the ice during this stage but finding your commonalities can help you with this. Being employed by the same company is one of the easiest things that you can bond over. This person knows the ins and outs of the workplace just as you do, so you should be able to achieve decent levels of conversation based on this fact alone.
• Build Up: During the buildup stage, you will see the most growth in the relationship; which is usually when the trust begins to form, and individual habits are learned. You can likely start to predict certain mannerisms from one another at this point. Compatibility does make a difference here. Even though this is a professional relationship that you are building, you still need to maintain a base level of harmony to create a successful one. At this point, you might notice if you experience any personality clashes or differences in opinions. Remember that this is normal and perfectly fine. 
• Continuation: The continuation stage solidifies the relationship. You should already know each other pretty well by this point. When you reach the continuation stage, know that it is optional. You are either going to become closer to that person, or you will drift apart. Because this is a working relationship, you do not need to take it any further if you do not feel like it. As long as you can maintain a successful method of interpersonal communication, then there is no need to do anything else. Naturally, once we start feeling closer to others, we tend to want to interact more. If you are two people with compatible personality types, there is a likelihood that you will become friendly with one another; which can be displayed anywhere from stopping to talk in the hall to even hanging out after work. The relationship is only going to advance as far as you are willing to take it.

• Deterioration: If you aren’t careful, you might reach the deterioration stage during your interpersonal relationships. Deterioration means as it’s implied—the relationship begins to fall apart. Here, you are likely to see a lack of trust and communication. This can happen for several reasons or no reason at all. If you are not making a constant effort to have a stable interpersonal relationship, then you can probably expect to reach this stage at some point. Know that it is possible to avoid this if you consider your working relationships a priority. Learn how to compromise and take action if necessary.
• Termination: Termination is the worst-case scenario in any interpersonal relationship. When you cut someone out of your life, this can cause a lot of complex issues; which is especially true when you work with the individual. If you get into an argument that results in a fight, this will likely sever the bond that you have worked to maintain. Consider what is essential and what is trivial if you find yourself at this stage. Is the thing that you dislike about the individual enough to cut them from your life? Make this decision carefully because workplace confrontation can be detrimental to your productivity.

If found this article interesting and want to improve your interpersonal relationships at work but you have always found it difficult, then you might like my Pluralsight course, Building Healthy Interpersonal Relationships at Work, where I talk about how to build, and maintain effective relationships, how to manage conflict and how to increase diversity and inclusion in the workplace.

It is all too easy to get caught up in the fast-paced lifestyle that we live in today, and we often forget to ask ourselves the most straightforward questions. Why are we here? What are we doing with our lives? Are we enjoying the path that we are currently on?

I want to help guide you toward those answers, but to do so I need you to tap into what is known as your “Locus of Control.” Your locus of control is merely defined as 

“the capacity to which you believe you have complete control and power over what happens to you in your life.”

In layman’s terms, do you think that you have much, if any, effect on what happens in your life?

Julian Rotter is the psychologist who first came up with the term as he believed that a person’s locus of control varied by the individual. As Rotter hypothesized in his theory, the locus of control could occur on either an external spectrum or an internal one, and each person fell somewhere on that spectrum. Depending on where you find yourself on this spectrum of locus of control, your behaviors to your external environment will differ.

So, what is the big difference? When you fall on the stronger side of the external locus of control, you are more likely to believe that all of your achievements and abilities are beyond your control. They have been granted to you by chance or luck. For example, if you did a particularly great job at work and received praise, you might think it is merely your bosses being nice to you, or based on the work that others had done to support you. 

However, if your locus of control is centered internally, then you believe that your failures and your successes are all done by your own hand. You will push yourself harder to make accomplishments in life. So if you were praised at work for something you submitted, you would believe that it was by your own diligent work that you earned that praise. 

Here’s the good news. No matter where you fall on this spectrum, you still have the ability to switch between external and internal locus of control. You control the way that you perceive the world, and you have full control over that. 

If you already know where you predominantly lie, great! If not, Julian Rotter has devised a scale that you can test yourself on. This scale is called Rotter’s I-E scale. When you are interacting with other people, you want to make sure that you are exercising the best locus of control for the situation. While a strong internal locus of control is beneficial to your work ethic (this is where that motivation comes in), using your external locus of control offers you some great benefits as well. 

While searching for the balance between your internal and your external locus of control can be tricky, I have a few tips and tricks that might make it easier for you as you are navigating this path. Take a moment and remind yourself about some key factors when you are struggling with your locus of control. Feeling like you are losing power over your life is never a great thing, so tell yourself that you have the right to feel the way you are feeling, and you also have the right to remove or change the situation.

In this life, there are going to be a hundred different factors that you will not be able to control. That is a true statement and one that you need to begin accepting. This is where you can start to practice balancing your external locus of control and your internal. Your external locus of control will help you recognize that there are some things you cannot control in life, and your internal locus of control will help you hone in on the items that you can control and impact change with. 

Let us go back to our workplace example. You cannot control what other people do. That is beyond your realm of control; otherwise, no one would have free will. So, if you are working on a group project and someone else is slacking, you need to accept that you cannot change that. What you can change is reliant on you. You need to shift into your internal locus of control and motivate yourself to make your part of the work shine and do the best of your ability with your job. 

It can be frustrating having to work with and deal with other people, particularly when your work is reliant on them. At times, if the group environment is laissez-faire, then you too can get sucked into that attitude if you focus too much on your external locus of control. However, if you just begin to remind yourself that you have power over your actions, your attitude, and your outputs, then you will feel your motivation rev into gear and propel you toward completing the tasks that you are supposed to have done. 

You might not know what your destiny is yet or what the world has in store for you, but what you can control is your everyday outputs and how those outputs translate into the realization of your bigger goals.

Think about this concept for just one moment. What motivates you? What drives you toward the goals that you had initially set for yourself? Did you always believe that you had no control over anything that you did? Life is certainly not predestined for us from the moment we are born. Your attitudes and actions influence not only how you are treated, but what kinds of results you get from your work. 

I am not simply talking about the work that you do in your professional environment, but in your home life too. Maybe your motivation is to provide a better life for your family. That is something you have control over. You can’t control what the people around you do or the phases of the moon, but you can control what actions you take and how those will affect your family’s lifestyle. 

In a world where procrastination is at the forefront of almost every movie that is marketed to our generation and plastered all over social media, how do you define yourself?

Motivation is described as 

“the reason for acting a certain way or striving towards certain goals.”

I placed emphasis on the reason because that is one of the very first questions, I prompted you with. Why are you here? What are you doing with your life? These can be difficult questions to answer but you can often find your self-motivation through them. You do not need the world to tell you where to go, who to be, and how to act. You need to be guided by your own strong sense of purpose and that is why having a balance between your internal and external locus of control is so important. Balance is the art by which this life hangs on. 

If you still struggle to understand the ways you control your locus of control, take a seat and write out a list. You need to focus hard on what you believe guides your life. When you fail at a task, who is to blame? Are you faulting chance or are you taking responsibility for where you fell short? 

While your external locus of control provides you balance so that you do not feel the need to control every aspect of your life (this is impossible to do), your internal locus of control gives you the drive and dedication that you require to succeed in this life. When you have failed a particularly hard test, it is easy to give up and blame the test or the difficulty level. However, when you push yourself to do better, even if it is by one percent, that is you using your internal locus of control to motivate you in positive directions.

When you can accept that there are things you will never change, but understand that your actions are always within your realm of control then you will always have the motivation right at your fingertips. You might not be able to change when Monday comes around, but you can change your attitude to waking up on that Monday. Do you see where I am going with this? It is important to know how to exercise your locus of control properly because it influences the way that you handle all life has to throw at you. This includes the hard days, the stresses, and the good days. Do not let the idea of destiny control your life, but rather your own hands and attitude control where you go and how you do it. 

Nevertheless, my friend continued to insist that she was unhappy with the work, and even went so far as to say that she thought her leadership was a fraud and would be noticed one day. She claimed that some of us were more qualified and therefore should be doing the work instead. One time, she actually asked our boss, point blank, to remove her from a leadership role, stating that she didn’t feel qualified to lead this particular team. That very move, acknowledging her weaknesses, made her a leader in many eyes, but she still didn’t see it.  She just wasn’t aware of her competent leadership and result-oriented management. 

For one particular task, my friend did endless research and spent hours coming up with strategies. On consecutive mornings, we would find her in the office, compiling presentations. That moment spurred me to do some research and learn more about her mindset. What was driving her to think this way? Maybe I could help her learn to feel more self-confident in her abilities.

What I found was fascinating! I stumbled upon a psychological problem known as “Imposter Syndrome.” I studied various types, as well as strategies on how to overcome it. Later, I shared all my results with my friend and she had a significant breakthrough, learning to own her abilities and putting them to good use which much less fear.The following post details the information found during my research. I believe that the post here will go a long way to helping you better understand Imposter Syndrome. Furthermore, you will understand how it appears in different personality types and will learn how to cope with it.

What is the Imposter Syndrome?

The term ‘Imposter Syndrome’ was first coined by clinical psychologists Pauline Clance and Suzanne Imes in 1978. The two specialists described the syndrome (also known as “Fraud Syndrome”) as a psychological pattern which makes people doubt their accomplishments, causing an internalized fear of being exposed as frauds, so that such individuals persistently reject praise. 

Modern psychologists explain that Imposter Syndrome makes capable people feel like they are lacking in intelligence and abilities, to the point where such individuals even disregard the evidence of their own accomplishments. Due to this mindset, afflicted individuals not only fail to trust their instincts but also brush aside any rewards for their hard work, as they feel it is unmerited.

According to some estimates, over 70 percent of successful people experience Imposter Syndrome, including famous American poet Maya Angelou, German-born theoretical physicist Albert Einstein, and celebrated American actress Meryl Streep.

Other recent findings suggest that Imposter Syndrome also makes people feel like intellectual frauds. These individuals may feel that their academic qualifications are undeserved. Such people then reflect upon about how they achieved a certain academic level in the face of what they perceive to be their shortcomings. Further studies indicate a correlation between this lack of self-belief and low self-esteem, a lack of confidence, a tendency to self-sabotage, and anxiety.

People suffering from Imposter Syndrome convince themselves that their achievements are based on factors beyond their control. Such people need to be encouraged to embrace the abilities and hard work that have led them to success in their lives.

Types of Imposter Syndrome

Imposter Syndrome can take different forms depending on an individual’s background, personality, and prevailing circumstances. Below are common types of Imposter Syndrome that will help you understand what type of perceived imposter you might be. After you’ve identified the types, you may be able to help change your personal mindset.

Perfectionism

Perfectionists require themselves to carry all tasks out to exact precision, with the goal of avoiding possible negative feedback. Perfectionists set absurdly high-performance standards and evaluate themselves based on a rubric of success that few people are able to even comprehend, much less fulfill. 

Notably, perfectionism and Imposter Syndrome go hand in hand. Perfectionists do not believe that their outputs are sufficient to deliver acceptable quality. Moreover, perfectionists set goals that are so lofty, they may be impossible to achieve. If a perfectionist then fails to attain said goals, self-recrimination invariably sets in.

Another tenet of perfectionism is feeling like you are the only one who can achieve the desired results. The success of others is never satisfying because you believe you could have done better. Many of us can admit to having fallen victims to this particular symptom of Imposter Syndrome.

Finally, perfectionists tend to hide their mistakes and dissociate themselves with their errors. They blame circumstances, or others, believing that to admit their mistakes will make them appear imperfect (and therefore, incompetent) to their acquaintances, friends, co-workers, and relatives.

The natural genius

People with this type of Imposter Syndrome think that they should not struggle when doing something. To struggle suggests to them that they are not competent or worthy of the tasks set before them.

Just like perfectionists, natural geniuses set their internal bars impossibly high. However, natural geniuses do not judge themselves based on ridicule and another people’s evaluation. They judge themselves based upon whether they are successful on their first attempt at a task.

Natural geniuses tend to reject the notion of mentors, thinking they can handle things on their own, based on their experiences. They don’t believe they need guidance—they already know what they’re doing. 

Natural geniuses do not like facing setbacks. Any small mistake sends their confidence plummeting because they believe they need to get it right the first time. As a result of this, natural geniuses often avoid new challenges. If they don’t start something, they won’t fail, so it’s safer not to even try and risk the shame of defeat in the face of uncertain odds.

The over worker

According to psychologists’, this is the most harmful manifestation of imposter syndrome when it comes to a person’s health and mental well-being.

An over worker works harder and harder to measure up to colleagues that they believe are more qualified than they are. Ironically, this approach can have the opposite intended effect as it can affect a person’s relations with others, the very same people the over worker is trying to emulate. Over workers can come across as trying to be office “favorites” (or in grade school, “teacher’s pets”) because of the enormous amount of extra time and effort they put in.

Over workers do not necessarily work for the benefits that come from the work itself, such as overtime pay or vacation. They feel like time off will make them idle. What they do not know is that they’re obsessed with getting the glory that comes from doing all the work, not from doing quality work. 

The rugged individualist

A rugged individualist is a person who feels that asking for help will expose her as an inexperienced phony. In many instances, this type of individual refuses assistance, with the intent of proving her own capabilities.

Such people like to work alone, because then they receive all the accolades when a task is successfully complete. Most sufferers of this kind of Imposter Syndrome only care about getting the job done. Obviously, they do not care about their well-being since the task may be mentally taxing, or even dangerous to accomplish alone.

The expert

Experts believe that their qualifications and skills, including academic credentials, are frauds. It’s almost comical that people who suffer from this type of Imposter Syndrome feel they’ve tricked their employers into hiring them. Things are no longer quite so funny, however, when a person develops an immense fear that he or she will be exposed as incompetent and inexperienced.

Often, experts shy away from applying for jobs because they think that they don’t meet the requirements. They continuously seek training and additional certifications in order to improve their perceived lack of skills.

While learning more skills can always help you professionally, nonetheless, if you never feel that your skills are sufficient, you’ll never stop believing that you’re incapable of doing a job properly. At this point, all the classes you take are no longer about the pursuit of knowledge but about chasing self-validation. This has obvious financial ramifications—classes aren’t always cheap—and impinges on your own personal time.

How to Overcome Impostor Syndrome 

If not dealt with, Imposter Syndrome may lead people to develop anxiety, stress, and possibly, depression. Imposter Syndrome causes people to become obsessed with their mistakes, failures, and any negative feedback received. The following are some ways that Impostor Syndrome sufferers can cope with their condition. 

Realize that no one is perfect

Imperfection is part of being human. We can never be 100 percent accurate but must accept that adjusting to changing times and environments is part of life. So, stop feeling inadequate and unqualified for whatever task is set before you. Instead, appreciate that you may have the basic foundations required to carry out day-to-day activities. You won’t get it right every time, but don’t quit before you’ve even started, due to irrational fears.

Change your mentality 

Reframe your thoughts and understand that the feeling of inadequacy and fear of being a fraud is a figment of your imagination. Instead, think of instances when you’ve successfully completed a task and give yourself well-deserved praise. When faced with a new challenge, remind yourself that trying does no harm. Happily, embrace the results, regardless of the outcome of your endeavors. 

Make a list of your achievements 

Stop discounting the many successes people tell you that you’ve accomplished. Instead, make a list of the things you’ve achieved, regardless of how small they may appear to you. Start by taking a look at everything you have achieved in the past. Moreover, take some time and reflect on all the hard work you have put in to be at your current position. This way, you will embrace the fact that your achievements are real and deserved. 

Create a positive response to failure and mistakes

As the saying goes, to err is human. So, don’t put yourself down when you make mistakes. Develop some personal sayings that you repeat to yourself, as needed. Encourage yourself by believing that you will definitely succeed at the task next time. At one time, renowned inventor and founder of the Ford Motor Company, Henry Ford said that failure is the only opportunity to begin again more intelligently. Therefore, give yourself the opportunity to try again. You’re only human!

Talk to someone 

After identifying that you are suffering from any type of Imposter Syndrome, talk with a close friend, relative, or professional counselor about your low self-esteem and lack of self-confidence. People who know you well may surprise you by explaining that they envy your talents and accomplishments. Professional counselors or psychologists may go further to help you unleash the potential that you took for granted in the past. It is wise for people suffering from Imposter Syndrome to remember that they are not alone. Remember, more than seventy percent of people may suffer from some variation of the syndrome, so seek help!

Being creative in the workplace is not rocket science; it’s an achievable feat. Creativity in the workplace does more good to you than harm. It helps you make progressive flows in your work, enhances outputs and brings fulfillment to your work.  As profitable as creativity in workplaces is, some forces will readily prevent you from being creative in your work. These forces are called mental roadblocks.

Mental roadblocks make it impossible for you to explore your creativity to the fullest, thereby hindering your optimum performance at the workplace. They also hinder your brain from making the right-thinking connections necessary for creativity. For you to have increased productivity through creativity, you have to deal with mental roadblocks. Dealing with mental roadblocks goes beyond the daily performance of routine tasks. In squarely dealing with mental roadblocks, you must face both the external and internal aspects of productive creativity. If you neglect the internal aspects in pursuits of the external aspects, you stay in the same spot of non-performance for a very long time. Productive creativity entails you deal with the internal issues – the mental roadblocks.

We shall travel this journey of dealing with mental roadblocks that hamper your productivity and creativity at work. When you deal with these mental roadblocks, nothing will ever slow you down from putting in your all and getting the best in your workplace.

COMMON MENTAL ROADBLOCKS

Some roadblocks hinder creativity at work common to most individuals. Let’s look at them.

Lack of Decision

Not taking a decision is termed indecision. Indecision can cause you a whole load of adverse outcomes. Indecision makes you value previous decisions made with the thought that the best decision you make about a situation determines your failure or success in it. When you don’t work on your priorities, indecision creeps in. The consequence is that you have no focus on accomplishing set goals. When you struggle with making the right decisions, then you cannot put in your best in a task. It leads to lack of interest in that task and hampers your creativity generally.

Fixed Mindset

A fixed mindset gives you the picture that you have certain limitations on your abilities that you cannot overcome. The little success in the past will limit you from doing much more in the future. Although everyone is limited in some ways, a fixed mindset will close up to your mind to more significant levels of creativity as you will not be open to learning, going outside your comfort zone, going beyond previous successes, or experiencing total growth and development.

With this fixed mindset, you will not see beyond your limits and will be tied to them, thereby hindering the full discovery of your potentials and productivity.

Comparison

Whenever you compare your achievements with those of others in the workplace, you allow their successes to overwhelm you and the opportunity to maximize your potentials. A comparison is as a result of thoughts that others do better than you do. You will engross yourself with the notion that you lack in the creativity needed to achieve success. When anyone achieves success before you, you take them as enemies but, doing this is detrimental as it will end up hampering your productivity at work. A comparison does no one any good; it will keep you in a prison of self-pity, remorse, panic, and inefficiency, as there are always individuals who are better and more skilled than you in one area or the other. A comparison will also make your achievements look meaningless when you look at others’ achievements. It can even make you give up. You need to understand that everyone has the opportunity for success, so, you too can be successful! Don’t let the roadblock of comparison dull your full creativity and productivity.

Blurred Vision

Vision enhances creativity. It is the ability to visualize inputs and match them against outcomes. When you go with a blurred vision to work or any other venture, it locks your creativity and makes you dogmatic on a perspective irrespective of its accuracy or not. With a blurred vision, you lose creativity and an objective thinking pattern, and this will have negative consequences. For example, a blurred vision will lock you to seeing only one particular way of achieving a goal while neglecting another better, faster, and more natural method of accomplishing the same goal. A blurred vision will also make you see problems as being more significant than you, thereby killing your morale to face them.

The ‘No Limits’ Mindset

The mental roadblock of the ‘no limits’ mindset combines many things, such as interests, endeavors, and over-estimation of your capabilities, despite the obvious picture of the opposites. It appears to be a tool, but, in the real sense, it is a roadblock. When this mental roadblock enslaves you, you will be engaged in activities without any tangible achievement. It keeps taking you around and around in circles without any progressive movement. As a result of your involvement in too many interests and projects at the same time, you will not make any meaningful progress, thus leading you to depression.  A person with a ‘no limits’ mental roadblock will trap himself in non-performance as he did not put his full creativity and potentials to realistic or reasonable work.

Uncertainty

Uncertainty implies deciding without setting out the exact, feasible plan for achieving something. It is a tremendous mental roadblock that hinders your creativity and stops you from executing your decisions and plans. When uncertainty creeps into your work, it overwhelms you and prevents you from exploring possible methods of carrying out a task. It makes your decision-making and task-execution ability deficient as you will wander from one idea to another without getting something meaningfully done.

Fear

Fear is a substantial roadblock that can completely paralyze your creativity and bring out the worst in you. It makes you feel unfit for a task at work. When you give in to fear, you close up all possibilities of being productive as you will withdraw yourself from attempts to perform tasks. Although fear can show up in various degrees, no amount of fear is healthy for you at work. No matter how skillful or talented you are, fear will cripple all your positive efforts and turn them into a mess. You need to identify and deal with it as a mental roadblock that can prevent the full expression of your creativity and productivity.

IDENTIFYING YOUR MENTAL ROADBLOCKS

Having established the fact that mental roadblocks will hamper your creativity and decrease your productivity, it is good to identify them. You might not be able to correctly decipher which particular mental roadblock(s) you are susceptible to because this may be quite an arduous exercise. If you are having difficulty in identifying your mental roadblock, I will help you out. Here is what you need to do:

1. Identify an assignment related to your present goal or target.
2. Install a timer for 15 minutes.
3. Work on the identified assignment. There will be times you will feel like hesitating, slowing down, sighing, changing positions, or thinking about other things. Pause and pay attention to your thoughts. Whatever it tells you is the voice of your biggest mental roadblock.
4. Pay attention to your inner voice and the patterns it takes. Take note of the repeating words and phrases. Also, check up on the feelings you get. Write down what you hear in your head and read it to your hearing. Don’t stop here. Do this for an extended period, and you will know the pattern. This pattern indicates your mental roadblocks.

HOW TO OVERCOME MENTAL ROADBLOCKS

The familiar nightmare of every professional in any field of work is a mental roadblock. They are detrimental to your productivity, yet they usually pop up their ugly heads when you are almost accomplishing a big task. You might have started out on a good note, making progress and nearly completed the task, but, suddenly, discouragement comes in, and you can’t continue again. It is what mental roadblocks can cause. Such an experience is not peculiar to you so don’t let them render you unproductive. Instead, do all you can to overcome them by accurately and effectively channeling your creative powers into profitable projects. Have mental roadblocks overwhelmed you? I will help you with these tested strategies in overcoming mental roadblocks.

Know the Sources of the Roadblocks in You

A journey of discovery is one into recovery. Discover the specific mental roadblocks that you have and know their causes and sources. If self-doubt is one of your roadblocks, know where it originates from by examining your values. When you successfully discover the sources of your mental roadblocks, you will be in the best position to continue dealing with them.

Get Engaged in Writing

When mental roadblocks come your way, go into a free-write session. Open a word document from your personal computer and write down whatever freely comes to your mind. This strategy is known as free-writing. Professional prose writers have used it to cover mental roadblocks to getting fresh ideas and zeal to keep on with a project. This technique will supply you with the needed energy to continue with your work.  Keep doing this at every 10 to 15 minutes interval. Although it will look like rubbish initially, ideas will begin to flow as you continue. Gather similar statements together and use them in moving forward in your task.

Deal with Small Assignments First

When tiredness comes in, and the task at hand is overwhelming, all you need do is to take a little break and concentrate on tasks that are less tasking and demand little or no attention. You can engage yourself in tasks such as laundry, dishwashing, going through unread emails, or even organizing your shelf. With this strategy of taking up little tasks first, you build confidence and momentum to continue with them and even engage in more significant projects, thereby overcoming mental roadblocks that would have hindered you.

Learn Something New

Most professionals go over the same former strategies they have used before encountering mental roadblocks without a fresh perspective on doing the same tasks; it ought not to be so. A proven method you can simply use to overcome mental roadblocks to think outside the box. Engage yourself to new methods by learning something new, reading widely in and outside your field and also by brainstorming on new ideas and perspectives. Irrespective of the projects you need to accomplish, keep learning something new. It will help enhance your creativity and productivity.

Learn from Past Experiences

Past experiences are great teachers. Go down memory lane and recall those times when you had great happiness, zeal, and creativity in executing tasks. Look at the pictures and circumstances that can remind you of better days and visualize being there. With this, you can develop new energy and enthusiasm to keep you going at your chosen task at work. You will then be able to motivate yourself further to accomplish your project.

Have a Change of Environment

The state of your working space can promote mental roadblocks. When you are in a well-organized and tidy working environment, it improves your creativity. Know what will work best for you in your environment to bring out the best of your creativity but, if your mental roadblocks are hampering your creativity, you might have to change your environment. Get to a place where your feelings and activities will align properly to guarantee more productivity and creativity at work.

Leverage on Other People’s Ideas

You can easily overcome mental roadblocks by leveraging the ideas of others. Do not back out when mental roadblocks get you stuck in the process of accomplishing a task. Search the internet to see how professionals have overcome similar challenges. Get inspiration and understanding from their approaches and strategically apply them to yours.

Change your Thinking Pattern

Our thoughts and thinking patterns affect us. Negative thoughts will hamper creativity and promote mental roadblocks. What kind of thoughts flows through you? Are they negative or positive?

To overcome mental roadblocks, ensure you deal with negative thoughts that come to your mind. You need to deal with negative thoughts, such as the impossibility mindset, fear, and failure, etc. When you deal with such thoughts, you will overcome mental roadblocks that oppose your creativity and truncate your productivity at work.

I hope you have found this article useful. Overcoming mental roadblocks is critical to our success and creativity in all aspects of life. Learn to master these practices and you will see your productivity skyrocket. If you found this useful, then you might also like my book on overcoming procrastination called, A Gentle Introduction to Beating Procrastination and Getting Focused, which is available as an eBook and paperback on Amazon.

I don’t consider myself shy at all. I will quite happily get up on stage in front of several hundred or a thousand people to deliver a technical talk. I will also mingle and talk with people at social gatherings, but when I do, I find this exhausting, and all I want to do afterward is hideaway by myself for several hours and recharge. This is especially true after delivering a talk; I want to be alone afterward when I have packed up and finished answering questions. The thing that makes me an introvert is that I require solitude to recharge my batteries whereas extroverts recharge in the presence of others.

This all got me thinking, and I decided to research the topic a little more. I hope you find this post interesting.

Everyone is Different

Everyone is different—some people like spending their nights at home and with a book in hand, while others prefer a night out and being the center of attention. If you’re the type of person who values alone time and who finds comfort in being alone, then you must be an introvert.

On the other hand, an extrovert would often enjoy the company of other people and would usually be very friendly and outgoing. These two groups of people are often compared to each other to see which is better.

While society has stereotypical definitions of what introverts and extroverts are, the debate is still on about whether they are all that different from each other. Many people classify introverts as people who are weird, shy, and who usually fear interaction.

Extroverts, conversely, are almost always branded as people who are loud and who love to be the center of attention. These descriptions aren’t always true though, because these are misconceptions about these two personality types.

Distinguishing Introverts and Extroverts

What a person does during their free time does not determine whether he or she is an introvert or an extrovert. Introverts aren’t the only people who can stay at home on a Friday night—extroverts can do that too if they want to. It is what they do to recharge when they run out of ‘batteries’ that tells you what their personality types are. It’s what gives them the power that they need to get back to optimal functioning that distinguishes introverts from extroverts.

Introverts like to recharge alone. Their batteries drain when they’re in the company of too many people. To recharge, introverts like being all alone or being in quiet environments. Extroverts, on the other hand, feel low when they’re all alone. Unlike introverts, these people are recharged when they’re in the company of others.

How Introverts Think and Behave Differently

The brains of introverts and extroverts act differently, because of a particular chemical called dopamine. This chemical is the reason why people can feel happiness and other good emotions. Each person receives dopamine in varied amounts. Extroverts receive more when they’re active, while introverts are the exact opposite.

Extroverts want large amounts of social stimulation from different people all the time. This makes them different from introverts because introverts feel that they’re most comfortable when they’re in quieter and more peaceful environments.

Behaviourally, extroverts tend to experience more and reflect less, while introverts experience less but reflect more. In a way, one could say that an introvert’s biggest fear is losing his or her hearing because then they wouldn’t be able to listen. An extrovert, on the other hand, would be losing their tongue, because then they wouldn’t be able to speak.

For an extrovert, the real world is out there. An extrovert sees the world as something tangible. For them, it’s something that everyone can see and can have an emotional interaction with. Thoughts are but a second layer of the real world.

Unlike introverts, extroverts don’t have the time to reflect on things before actually doing them. They’ll do the exact thing they want at the time they want it to be done, with no questions asked.

An introvert thinks and believes that the world is all in their mind. They live in a world of ideas and is so absorbed in the analysis of their thoughts. Introverts value reflecting so much that processing all their thoughts often takes time. It is because of this that people often generalize and label them as awkward and shy although it may not necessarily be true all the time.

Going Social

An extrovert will go into a room and immediately talk to a group of people. They’ll always have something to say and will always have the energy to keep things going. If someone asks them a question, they’ll think of a response before you can even think of a follow-up question.

Introverts are thought of as shy in social situations. But, shyness is incorrectly thought of as the same as introversion. Both introverts and extroverts can be shy and can fear judgment in social interactions.

Psychology experts came up with a model that plots the combination of social anxiety levels and personality types in four quadrants. This model identified resulting characteristics in calm introverts, anxious extroverts, calm introverts, and anxious introverts.

Social Introverts

There are a lot of introverts who are good at socializing and who aren’t afraid to speak up. In fact, a lot of famous leaders were introverts, like Gandhi, Rosa Parks, and Eleanor Roosevelt, to name a few. These self-described quiet and soft-spoken people took the spotlight at some point in their lives when they felt that their voices needed to be heard.

You can find social introverts in a lot of social gatherings. These people are usually guests who are simply present in the event without calling attention to themselves. They find other people interesting, yet ultimately draining at the same time. An introvert can make conversation and form a bond with anyone but will feel drained at the end of the day.

Introverts need to take breaks after every social interaction to have the energy for their next interaction. It’s common for social introverts to seek out and enjoy social gatherings, but it’s also common for them to want to have some alone time right after. They understand that approaching new people can take up so much energy, but they do it anyway.

Introverts almost always have difficulties starting a conversation especially when they are meeting new people. They often want to skip the pleasantries and small talk and get on with the more serious stuff, but they simply have no idea how.

Introverts also love making friends with extroverts, but a lot of times, they end up being overshadowed by their extroverted friend’s presence. They’ll gladly tag along beside them and will even make conversation with strangers. When their social energy runs out, they’ll soon end up being the tag-along friend.

Shy Extroverts

Extroverts tend to gain their energy from being around other people and from being the center of attention. There are shy extroverts who could be around tons of people all the time, but they’ll always secretly be afraid of being judged. They won’t attend a party unless they know who’s going to be there. If their friends aren’t going to be there, they might as well stay at home for the night.

They’ll also get drained if they’re left alone for too long especially for a party or social gathering. They crave constant interaction yet they worry about what the people they are socializing with will think about them. These worries cause them to feel nervous and anxious eventually and consequently become awkward in their behavior towards others.

Shy extroverts do want to build meaningful relationships, but they could struggle with finding the right people to interact with. They have trouble finding the right people with who they can truly connect with, and who can make them feel energized and excited.

Switching Personalities

There are ways to switch from being an extrovert to being an introvert and vice versa. You can alter the way your brain sees things by conditioning your mind to do things that it is not used to doing.

For example, if you’re an extrovert and you want to be a bit more introverted, you can start any activity that will keep you away from people and distractions. For extroverts who want to switch to being introverts, they will first have to start being comfortable with being alone.

If you’re an introverted person who wants to be an extrovert, you’ll need to do the exact opposite. You’ll need to seek the presence of other people. You’ll also need to learn to be comfortable with having other people around. Seeking the company of close friends and family could be a great help for you to begin speaking your mind.

In the presence of other people, you can practice being mindful of your actions. You will have to train your mind always to be aware of everything that’s happening. If you’re fully aware of what you’re doing, you won’t have to keep backtracking through conversations to check if you said or did something bad.

Combining Differences

There are indeed differences in these two personality types, but certain characteristics and qualities are present in both. These characteristics, such as shyness, combine with their personality traits and are applied to their circumstances in different ways. Understanding how these combine and interact would be beneficial to both introverts and extroverts.

Whether you are an introverted person or an extrovert who wants to switch things up a bit, you will be a bit uncomfortable at first as you experience the opposite of what you are used to. As you start to get the hang of things, you won’t feel any discomfort anymore. When you get used to switching personalities as demanded by your current situation, you will be able to harness the advantages of both personality types.

Feeling excited that your Instagram posts are better than those of your circle? That’s serotonin.

Did those ten new followers on twitter make your day?  That’s dopamine.

Your brain is full of neurotransmitters that continuously change and regulate how you feel. Engaging in social media may seem innocuous and straightforward, but these activities affect certain neurotransmitters – making you feel happy, sad, or a combination of both.

Once being engaged in social media becomes a regular activity – these seemingly normal activities could cause a downward spiral into sadness or depression.

Neurotransmitters and Social Media

Dopamine

Dopamine is a neurotransmitter that plays a major role in the brain’s reward reinforcement and pleasure centers.  The pleasant feeling that you get when dopamine levels are elevated motivates you to continue performing the action that brought about the surge of dopamine.

Eating, sex, and most other things necessary to our survival increase dopamine levels. Actions that benefit you, or your community, also increase dopamine levels. Dopamine conditions us to perform operations or activities necessary for survival, or for a better life.

Posting on Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter, and getting likes elevates the dopamine in your system. It makes you want to keep posting, in the hopes of getting acknowledged or rewarded (likes). You had your first taste – now you’re hooked!

A little too extreme? Cocaine is addictive because it floods the brain with dopamine – tricking your brain and conditioning you to take it again and again. Social media similarly affects your brain but in smaller doses. It might not seem addictive, but the constant reward and reinforcement slowly influence your life.

When you feel that you have this need to check your phone or tablet many times a day – then it becomes a problem.

Quick Fix: Get your dopamine somewhere else. Dopamine is released as a reward for finishing or achieving something – so go and finish something. Completing small tasks or achieving small goals will motivate you more into continuing to do those activities.

Run for distance in small increments, learn to play a particular song, or lose 1 or 2 pounds every month – all these activities increase your dopamine levels. Finish a good book, go sight-seeing – whether it’s a physical or social activity, you’ll feel better as a result.

Melatonin

Melatonin is a hormone that acts similar to a neurotransmitter. It governs your circadian rhythm or your sleep-wake cycle. It induces sleep, and it is known to modify the time you fall asleep, and the time you wake up.

Typing on your computer, or browsing your tablet at night – suppresses the production of melatonin. This delays your sleep cycle and robs you of a few hours of sleep. Lack of sleep leaves you tired, irritable, unable to concentrate, and prone to stress – which could have adverse effects on your family, friends, and career.

Continuous nights of inadequate sleep leads to feelings of anxiety, anger, sadness, and overall mental exhaustion – which could lead to depression or exacerbate conditions.

Quick Fix: Get a dose of sunshine. That means real sunlight; office lights don’t have the same effect – you’ll also be hit with a dose of serotonin so double the result.

Have a relaxing bath, or a warm cup of milk before you go to bed. Avoid artificial lights, especially LEDs, a couple of hours before turning in. Use candlelight and yellow light, as they don’t disrupt your sleep-wake cycle. If you do need to use a computer or tablet late at night, try turning on the night shift mode which removes the blue tone from the screen. If your device doesn’t have this built in, then you can get apps that do this for you.

Oxytocin

Oxytocin is a neurotransmitter in the brain that affects social interaction. It plays roles in sexual reproduction and bonding between family members or between friends. Feelings of trust, generosity, empathy, and altruism are all attributed to oxytocin.

When we make physical contact with a loved one by hugging or kissing, oxytocin levels increase. It plays a considerable role in bonding between couples, which is why it is called the “love hormone.”  When you feel loved and accepted – that’s oxytocin at work.

Connecting with a friend on social media elevates levels of oxytocin, and can bring about a mild feeling of joy. Chatting with a loved one on a messenger app or having a conversation with a crush on a video call can elevate your oxytocin to varying degrees.

Connecting to one hundred friends or followers on social media – does raise your levels of oxytocin – but it doesn’t compare to having a real face-to-face conversation with a friend or loved one. The more time and effort you invest in a person or a relationship, the deeper the connection it brings – and the more elevated your oxytocin levels become.

When you become engrossed in social media – to the detriment of your “real world” friends – your oxytocin levels take a hit. Though you may feel accepted online, there is no replacement for actual human interaction.

For all the feelings of love and acceptance oxytocin gives, it also brings about not so positive feelings. Oxytocin intensifies memories of failed relationships. Those feelings of shame and anxiety brought about by a public mishap? Yup, oxytocin. It makes you remember how sad you were, or how socially awkward you were – until you get into a relationship or raise your social standing; things you have to do in the real world.

The feeling of being in a group is also caused in part by oxytocin. This brings about negative feelings to those outside of the group. Oxytocin bonds those with similar traits or shares similar characteristics – causing favoritism and prejudice.

Quick Fix: Get together with friends or loved ones. Meet a friend for a cup of coffee or tea – even for just an hour or two. Spend time with your siblings, your parents, or your kids – you’ll feel better, and so will they.

Having real conversations and actual physical contact will do wonders for your oxytocin production. Share a warm embrace with a friend, or cuddle up to your significant other. Being with a handful of friends and spending time with them is better than casually commenting on the posts of 100+ acquaintances.

Serotonin

Serotonin is an important neurotransmitter that contributes to feelings of happiness and well-being. It regulates your mood and controls anxiety and depression.

High levels of serotonin boost your mood – making you happy and energetic. It feels like a real ray of sunshine – or the happiness you feel while running. Which is why being outdoors makes people happy.

Low levels of serotonin have been linked to depression and lethargy. It makes you have negative thoughts and feel irritable. Anxiety, panic attacks, eating disorders – even obesity and alcohol abuse – are related to serotonin disorders

This is the tricky part; being content and having a happy outlook raises your serotonin levels. Being proud of yourself and what you have achieved also does wonders for your serotonin levels.

Social media can impact self-worth negatively – and consequently drops serotonin levels. You see other people’s posts and compare them with your own life – and you find yourself lacking.

Social media unintentionally cultivated a culture of envy and inadequacy – making people think that their lives were less happy and less significant than their peers. Most people choose to share only the “highlights” of their life – making them seem happier and more successful than they are.

When you see a photo of a happy family on vacation on some beach, you can’t help but compare their experience with how you spent your day.

Quick Fix: Get a dose of sunshine or go for a run or walk – better yet, run in the sun! Maybe that short run can put things in perspective – and raise your serotonin levels.

Having a positive outlook and feeling good about yourself can help increase serotonin, giving you a positive mental state.

Social Media and Depression

Though it may connect you with more people, social media also isolates you. You trade away smiles and comforting hands for likes and shares. You might not notice at first, but this causes a deep sense of loss and longing.

Social media feeds off an illusion of grandeur that masks as everyday life. You share your life with others, but know it’s not all that good. You look at other people’s lives and think you are so worse off. This exacerbates feelings of inadequacy, anxiety, sadness, and depression.

Worse of all, it takes time away from you and those who are close to you. Those couple of hours spent on social media could have been used talking to a friend or playing with your kids. Instead of idling on your tablet, you could have read a book, swam a few laps at the local pool or gone for a walk.

Social media is dangerous because it rewards you for posting and getting likes (dopamine). It makes you feel artificially connected (oxytocin) – even if you are isolated deep inside. It makes you feel bad about yourself (serotonin) as you vicariously live the life of your friends.

Having an online persona is taxing on both your time, energy, and emotional stability.

You should spend more time with your loved ones and friends, in the real world. I am not saying you should give up social media. Not at all, it can be fun if used in moderation, but stripping it back can have a positive impact on your own life.

Taking Accountability

These are the feelings that I have been having recently. I use Facebook for fun and Twitter for my business. On Facebook, at one point I had over 500 friends but were these real friends? I had a mixture of family, close friends, current colleagues, old colleagues, people from university and school. A lot of these people I will never see again in the “real world,” yet they are all posting on Facebook and appearing in my feed. Some people I know in the real world as having rather shitty lives and they complain a lot, but on Facebook, they seem to have amazing and positive experiences being portrayed all the time. For these particular people, and naturally, I will not single them out in this post, these posts on Facebook are just an illusion, they are false and having your news feed littered with this is not healthy.

I feel I am quite lucky, I have never had depression, and I am a generally positive person, but I can easily see how someone more vulnerable could be affected by these fake feelings (or fake friend news) on social networks. I am not just singling out Facebook here; this applies to any social network. I use Facebook as an example as this is the network I use the most.

I recently decided to reduce my “friends” lists on Facebook. I believe the kids these days call it a cull. I set some simple criteria for doing this.

• Family and close friends: If you are family on mine or my wife’s side, then you naturally stay on the list. Close friends, who we see and hang out with in the real world also stay.
• Old work co-workers: Again, if I still meet you regularly in the real world you stay, or if I got on with you a lot, you stay. All the rest I removed; I have you on LinkedIn anyway (which I hardly use). It’s nothing personal.
• If I bumped into you on the street: If I would be happy to go for a coffee or a beer with you there and then you would stay. If I would hide behind a phone box, or cross the street to hide from you, you are removed.
• Complainers or the overly political: Any of the above criteria can be overruled. If you are a habitual complainer, who brings down the atmosphere, or I know you are just being fake or are using the platform as a political soapbox (either left or right wing), then you get removed, even if you are a friend or family.

That last point about a political soapbox is an interesting one; I use Facebook for fun (memes and jokes) and to keep family informed on how the kids are doing as I have family all over the world. I have had some people on Facebook who I really like and respect, but every post seems to be about politics. The odd rant every now and again is fine, I even do it myself, but if it is persistent, then it just gets depressing to read. I had one person who literally posted about Trump and Brexit 10 times a day, even though he was not American or from the UK, and that just got irritating very quickly, so I had to remove him, even though he was someone I respect.

I have now pruned my friends list down to around 130 people now, and these are all people that I interact with in the real world or get on with.  My experience of using Facebook since has been much more positive as Facebook now serves, for me at least, as an extension to the real world and not just a virtual environment of fake friendships. From now on I will be doing a much more considered job of moderating my friend’s list.

So, there you have it. These are just my thoughts on social networks and the effect they can have on you. We are still in an infancy stage for social media, and we are still working out how it will fit into our lives. I think I have learned a lot about using sites like Facebook and these are informing my decisions on how to use it in the future. At some point my kids will also want to start using social sites, they are still a way off from that yet, but I hope that from my own experiences, I can help guide them on how to use it safely.

This post represents my own personal opinion on the subject. How do you feel about social media? Have you found yourself getting depressed with it? I would like to know your thoughts, so please comment below and share your story or opinion, even if you disagree with what I have written.