Five years sober today.

I’m normally very coy about this. Just a picture of the coin and a number. So enigmatic. Don’t look at me, I’m not after your attention. 

But it is something of a landmark, I suppose. And I’ve come to believe that all we are is the effect we have on other people so if I’m going be attention seeking I may as well try to be helpful. 

So here are ten things I’ve learnt in my five years of sobriety. 

1.AA.

“It’s a bit of a cult innit?” “There’s a lot of God isn’t there?” 

Well, if you want there to be. And there isn’t if you don’t. There are 12 Steps, sponsorship… all sorts. But, for this (still) atheist who definitely isn’t part of a cult (and doesn’t even have a sponsor) AA is just a place to go for a mental MOT. It has helped me to keep perspective and has been a place to open up, to share, to offload … all without having to pay a shrink. Listening to other people, and supporting them, helps too. Plus, there are biscuits (bloody Tunnocks Teacakes in one of the posh London places I go – but even in Chorlton it’s not unusual to happen upon a Viscount from time to time).

It doesn’t work for everyone – that’s fine too, but it’s easy to find excuses not to go. But they’re usually just excuses to keep drinking. Instead, I take the bits that do work and ignore the bits that don’t… and use AA to ensure that I do not have a drink today. And that’s enough. Not having a drink today is enough.

2. I was a functional alcoholic.

I never missed a day’s work through booze, I never worked drunk. I just liked a drink. I could put it away. In my early days as a comic I’d get steadily more sozzled as an MC the longer the night went on, but after a while I noticed that and so proved to myself that I didn’t have a problem by laying off it until I’d got the last act on. Then I’d “reward” myself with a drink. And not stop. BUT – my restraint up until, say, 10.20pm, proved I didn’t have an issue with booze. I never drank when on an acting job at all. I was the model of professionalism. 

And yet… I’d rush the kids to bed so I could pop the cork out of the first of my evening bottles of wine and be very irritated if they needed tucking in or attending to in the night. Oh yeah, the stuff that was important to me (gigging, acting, work – ergo ego as my self-esteem and work life have always been linked) was never interfered with by my desire for a tipple… but family? Friends? Oh yeah, I was never gonna show restraint because of them. 

And I could take it. I could drink a lot. And I’d wake up in a panic most mornings because I’d forgotten huge chunks of the night before. Now usually I wouldn’t have done anything too bad, but there were occasions when I had been a dick. Maybe because of the booze, maybe because I’m a dick. At least if I’m a dick now I can’t blame the booze – but I also no longer wake up and immediately go into a state of panic, checking Facebook in a cold sweat to see if anyone I was with last night has dropped me a message of the you-were-a-dick-flavoured variety.

Oh, and I liked alcohol. I wasn’t an addict. I had a wine book. I’d try out different, matured whiskies and marvel and their complexity. That surely meant that I wasn’t a drunk? I was – and this is a brilliant phrase I encountered via a wise fellow at AA – an “unfortunate connoisseur”. I wasn’t like all the sad pricks you see staggering about and looking pathetic. My drunkenness was refined!

BUT, and this is important – to the end of my drinking career my functionality got seriously compromised, and very quickly. I actually gave up for 11 months prior to this successful run, and when I started again after that 11 months (I was celebrating an achievement – I DESERVED a drink) within a week I was hiding booze and cracking open cans of G and T before midday. It’s a progressive illness, and I progressed towards Bedlam with increasing speed. I know if I started again now it wouldn’t be pretty – one harmless drink would turn quickly into an onsluaght of dangerous intoxication. If I ever drink again, I think I’ll lose everything pretty quickly. I was in a parlous state.

3. It’s not just the booze.

AA has helped me with more than booze. “Come for the drinking, stay for the thinking” indeed. I think the thing it’s helped with most is perspective. I have always been a proud pessimist (“then you’re not disappointed”) and taken rejection and professional disappointments very personally. I think sobriety has helped with both. I mean, it doesn’t make it hurt any less but having to sit with difficult situations, rather than cloud, avoid or drown them with booze has made me deal with them better. 

The big lesson I think, is that life isn’t unfair because it’s got it in for me. The universe doesn’t hate me. It’s worse than that: the universe doesn’t give shit about me. I can’t use unfairness as an excuse to be angry with the world. As an excuse to drink. Not only am I not the centre of the universe : I’m not even on the map. Bad things don’t happen because of this or that – they just happen. It’s unfair? Yeah, probably, but fixating on that doesn’t solve the problem? And what’s fair anyway? Being resentful that you’ve got a flat tyre doesn’t fix the tyre and get you back on the road. Fixing the tyre does. The rest is a distraction.

You can either try to deal with rejection, disappointment and failure or you can use them as an excuse to feel sorry for yourself and get hammered. It shouldn’t be a great surprise to learn that the former is probably more sensible. 

4. The present is the only one you can do anything about.

I’ve always fretted about the past (things I cannot change): reliving past woes, wishing I had reacted to certain situations differently, replaying injustices (sometimes minor ones, tiny little interactions I’d have loved to have played out differently). And if not looking back with regret I’ve looked forward with worry. What if this never happens, what if that goes wrong? And it means I have usually failed to appreciate what I am doing at the time (“this job is going well, but what if no-one notices and it doesn’t lead to another, better job!?”). If you spend all your time looking forwards and backwards you don’t appreciate what is in front of your eyes (and sometimes that’s just a nice cup of tea or a lovely dog).

5. There’s no magic solution. 

I think I thought I’d find somewhere that – like those miracle diets that are never as effective as Eat Less, Do Exercise – might offer some shortcut to sobriety, some option which required no effort from me. Bad news is, there isn’t one. You don’t walk into AA and someone says something wise that suddenly makes you go “Oh I see!” and decide never to drink again. 

And whilst AA is a support network it is remarkably unsentimental – the bottom line is you have to do it yourself, put the work in. I can read all the fitness/diet books in the world but unless I go to the gym and refuse the cupcakes, I’m not going to get into the shape I want. Ditto sobriety: you have to put various things in place, and summon a huge effort of the will, to do it properly. And it’s really hard. There are people who are prepared to help and guide and listen, but you have to ACTUALLY listen to them, and sometimes do the things that sound really hard (avoid that pub, that person, that event). I no longer do some of the things that I used to love doing, I don’t see some people I used to love seeing, and I don’t go to some of the places I used to enjoy frequenting – it’s not all one big love in, this process. You lose things – and people and places –  but, the good news is, you gain others. Now, they’re not necessarily exciting ones, or ones that provide good stories, but that’s OK : stories tend to be better to hear than be a part of anyway, as the people on the Titanic will tell you. I think I’m probably a bit duller than I was when I was a drunk, but as we’ll discover in Point 9, I was probably pretty boring when I was drunk as well, I just didn’t realise it. 

I tried other things by the way. I tried various official, state-provided resources. I found them a bit patronising (“next time, we’ll all practice writing a CV”) or designed for people really on the skids rather than a bon vivant in need of a bit of steadying like myself*. But anyway, they didn’t work. AA didn’t work the first couple of times either – I think I expected to go in and be sorted at the touch of a button. It took a bit more graft than that. But it’s working today and that’s enough. 

(*reader, I wasn’t a bon vivant in need to a bit of steadying, I was a prick who was drinking whisky for breakfast).

6. It doesn’t make all the other shit go away – but sometimes it makes you deal with it better. 

I thought there’d be a moment when sobriety hit me and life became like some advert : all the weight would lift, there’d be air in my lungs, a spring in my step, and I’d cartwheel towards enlightenment, turning everything I touched into gold as I did. Nope, life still does what life does – jobs don’t go my way, people are unkind, bills drop through the letterbox, the wrong person goes out of Strictly. My one small achievement, though, is that when it does, I have the tiny consolation that I haven’t made it worse by getting drunk. 

That’s all. But that’s enough. 

7. Hell Is Other People

Not really, but I have spent most of my life seeking the approval of others. I have a pathetic need to be liked. I want everyone to enjoy my work, think I have talent.

If I meet you I’ll spend the next two days worrying that you hated me. If I do a show I’ll fixate on the bits that didn’t work. If someone is a dick to me I’ll have a sleepless night going over all the things I SHOULD have said. All these nagging doubts and fears and regrets … in the old days I’d drown them out with booze. Can’t do that now. But what I CAN do is make sure I am not responsible for making other people feel the same way. I don’t expect to make anyone’s day better, but I can at least try not to make it any worse. 

I try to put cheerful stuff out there not because I am some cloying optimist. Just the opposite. But just because one’s own glass is half empty it doesn’t mean you shouldn’t at least try to half fill everyone else’s (unfortunate metaphor but there you go). 

Being in a profession which causes me to continually seek the affirmation of total strangers on a nightly basis is perhaps not the best decision for someone who has always needed to feed of external approval. I’m not hugely confident – alcohol definitely acted as a social lubricant. I’m terribly nervous in social situations … in fact I need an afternoon to pluck up the courage even to just phone someone. And I am plagued with insecurities – the best metaphor I can think of is that my head is full of wasps… and booze definitely dampened the buzzing. But then in the morning I’d wake up and slowly start to feel all the stinging they’d been getting up to whilst I was too pissed to notice. At the stings are much worse than the buzzes.

One characterises all of this, internally, as low self esteem : but it is its own form of narcissism. To fret that people are spending their time being down on you, it does presuppose that they are thinking about you AT ALL, which they probably aren’t (because they have their own crap to worry about). So even when I am wracked with insecurity, it is actually a form of self-indulgence and I need to get over myself. 

And it’s an important link. Because booze was part of my self-esteem. I was never very sporty, not particularly good looking, and never had the confidence to be a lothario. But “last man standing”, “you can put it away”, “you didn’t seem pissed when everyone else was rat arsed” : they were great stripes of affirmation for someone who couldn’t necessarily acquire them on more traditional fronts. 

But everyone is a product of their own issues. AA isn’t full of saints spouting wisdom (although there are so many kind, supportive, wise people there who have helped me immensely): some of the people there are idiots, and as they speak about their catalogue of woes you think: “Well, I can see why your life is rubbish… and it’s all your own fault.” But if you keep listening, you realise that even the most annoying person has more in common with you than you care to think; the most twattish dolt has the same vulnerabilities as you; the most clueless or inarticulate bore can be the most instructive. Because at AA you can’t look down on anyone. You’re there because you’re a drunk. No loftiness from you Whisky For Breakfast guy. If you were so fucking smart you’d be running a marathon or inspiring your kids or learning the trombone. But we know that if you weren’t here you’d be drinking a can of G and T in a park and crying because you think your self-indulgence is somehow romantic if your tears taste of Chablis. 

The listening is as important as the talking. And most people are, like you, just trying to get through life the best way they can and – hey, you’re not the only one beset by the insecurities, fears, and sheer bad luck you think only afflict you. 

Also, I have begun to notice that people (not drunks, normal people) whom I consider ridiculously  successful are prone to just as many worries as I am. Because the things we think will solve our problems – money, work, status, the approval of others… they don’t actually provide us with the happiness we seek. That can be found much closer to home if you’re prepared to look for it: but it’s a solo mission. You only find it if you’re prepared to seek it out without anyone else looking.

Now, I may speak a good game here, but the minute someone says something mean about me or I don’t get that job, or I see someone else doing something I wish I was doing, then I’ll be in bed for two days hoping the ground will swallow me up and thinking everyone hates me and I’ll never work again. But that’s OK, sometimes I am VERY good on theory without quite cracking the practice part of the test.

And none of us is as clued up as we’d like to be. I remember being told very sternly that having alcohol-free lager was a ridiculous thing to do and that it wouldn’t help and would lead me back to the Gates of Damnation. This by a guy who three weeks later was lamenting the fact that he’d had to swallow a bag of cocaine when the Bizzies had kicked his flat door in. Now then, as it happens – apart from the VERY odd occasion – I don’t do the alcohol free lager any more (the load I got in last Christmas is now OUT OF DATE!) but for a while, in the early days of my journey, I needed it. Now, I am sure some people who have used it HAVE gone back to the booze – but I (and plenty of others) have used it and haven’t. I did what was right for me at the time. It didn’t make me seek out the harder stuff, and nor have I ever had to swallow a bag of cocaine. So there. But everyone will have opinions on what you should do … in the end, the only right way is the way that works and the way that (join in at the back) stops you having a drink today. Because that’s all I need to do. Not have a drink today.

8. One Day At A Time and other cliches.

They are cliches for a reason. 

I remember saying to a friend (who had dropped everything and driven over from Liverpool when I was at rock bottom – see, people are nice!) as I nursed a cappuccino and thought it’d taste better with a slug of whisky in it – “I have a mountain to climb” and he said “don’t look at the mountain, just the next step, the next base camp along the way.” Typing that just now felt like mainlining a cliche, personifying a Lesson Of The Week – but those words, at the time, really helped (thanks Allan). 

Because I haven’t been sober five years. I have been sober One Day At A Time and somehow managed to accumulate enough of a consecutive run of sober days to hit this milestone. And when even a day seems hard, there’s another useful cliche to invoke – Breathe In, Breathe Out, Don’t Have A Drink. Considering all the drinks I can’t have, thinking about all the events at which I’ll have to avoid booze, worrying about all the tricky situations I can’t now navigate with help of a social lubricant and confidence-boosting stiffener… that’s really hard. That seems like a whole range of mountains. 

Avoiding just that one drink though – just the next one – that’s easier. I’m not thinking about never drinking again. I’m thinking about not picking up that one drink. If I can avoid that, I might just be OK.

9. Cynicism is over-rated.

Specially in my business – “that’s shit isn’t it?” was provably 90 per cent of my material for years. Dismantling things is funny. You like that? It’s awful! Hahaha. 

I’m not a very happy person. I’m not asking for sympathy. I’m just stating it as a matter of fact. I wish I found it easier but I struggle to be content, to not be anxious, to be worry-free. I’m not proud of it, I don’t think it makes me special (I have no intention of entering the Affliction Olympics that everyone seems desperate to compete in these days). It’s not a badge of honour – it doesn’t make me deep or interesting – it’s fucking annoying actually. I have many demons snapping at me. Wasps a-buzzing.

I think we like cynics: their caustic nature is quite cool. A nihilistic attitude can be sexy. Well, in films, yeah. On stage maybe. But in real life, someone pointing out how crap everything is is a bit of a bore. Always seeing the shit side of something isn’t some act of beatnik wisdom, it’s actually pretty tedious. Like wot drunk people are. Oh yeah, I HAVE learnt that – all that time I was pissed and funny and hilarious and just saying everything that everyone absolutely had to listen to because I was on such form and so funny… well, newsflash, I was annoying : and if you were drunk with me, then so were you.

Now there’s nothing wrong with that. Most drunk people are having a great time and good luck to them. But as someone on the outside can I just say (no offence)… you’re boring and you talk shit. Just FYI And that’s perfectly fine. It’s my fault I can’t get into a state where I am boring and talk shit with you. And most of you can have a great time being boring and talking shit and you don’t need to get up the next day and start drinking and being boring and talking shit again immediately. So you win. And five years sober I am still boring and I still talk shit. So, actually, you win twice.

But worse than boring, and to my shame I didn’t put this in the first iteration of this post, my noble suffering was unedurable to those close to me. I may have had to deal with an easily romaticised plight, but to the people I am supposed to love I was furtive, dishonest, selfish and diffciult. Hard drinking wrecks fancy themsleves as afflicted philosophers – but the sad truth is that they are actually self-destructive, frightening and unpleasant to be around.

Drunk Santa.

10. I’ll know I’m doing REALLY well when I mark this occasion privately. 

THAT will be the real breakthrough. 

I STILL care too much whet other people think. I STILL take rejection very badly. I am STILL full of self-doubt. Those things don’t go away. But I think I see those parts of me a bit better and I understand them because I have a clear head. Again, this process, this bumpy five year road I have taken, hasn’t been about making life’s problems go away, it’s been about understanding them and sitting in them even when they are uncomfortable. It’s about dealing with them rather than avoiding them via the medium of oblivion. 

But I am still reluctant with this business of sharing because I know it appeals to the worst side of me. Yes, it can help others. Yes, there is a certain sense of achievement and nowt wrong with being a little proud of that. But being inwardly proud should be enough. This world in which we all share and we all need our “well done yous” and “you OK huns” and “I am being true to myselfs” isn’t one that helps this malaise – because that’s all part of the same problem. The whole thing about being properly sober is that you’re not so self-involved that you need other people to tell you you’ve done OK. The achievement can speak for itself and I shouldn’t need to declaim it from the Heavens – because any true happiness has to come from within rather than being sucked from others because I’m some needy affirmation vampire. 

But I have seen very wise, sober people who have got it cracked disappear from meetings and come back a few months later, confessing that they’d fallen off the wagon : these people sometimes 8, 12, 15 years sober. So five is nothing. I’m only one drink away from fucking it up. I don’t know everything, but I do know that it’s a wise man who knows he’s not nearly as wise as he thinks he is or needs to be. 

I’m alright though. I do my best, I try to make other people happy, and I think I am good at what I do. I just know I’ll be much better when I shut up about it, and learn to find some satisfaction from within rather than without.

I hope to get to ten years. But do you know what I hope even more? That when I get to ten years, I don’t need to tell anyone about it.

That’ll be worth drinking to. (Tea, though. Tea). 

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Peter Day, one of the very first people to join the BBC visual effects department after its formation in the 1950s, has died at the age of 95. 

His work on Doctor Who included a number of classic series – his first credits were on a pair of consecutive classics, The Evil of the Daleks and The Tomb of the Cybermen (both 1967) which he worked on alongside colleague Michaeljohn Harris. For the former they orchestrated some huge explosions and plenty of mush (to spew from Dalek innards) as the memorable Dalek civil war caused this story to come to a thunderous climax. It was an ambitious sequence mixing model work with live action, the impressive Emperor Dalek and plenty of pyrotechnics. The Tomb of the Cybermen involved the judicious use of foam to seep from a stricken Cyberman’s chest and of course the classic scene in which they merged from their Tombs:

“It was this huge set up with the Cybermen up in their little cubby holes and we used cling film by the yard so they could break out and come through. [The model of the Tomb] was all frozen up to start with so we sprayed the whole thing with what looked like ice,” he recalled later. 

Nothing, however, compared to the excess of froth created by the seaweed creature in Fury from the Deep, his next story. For this he donned the thrashing fronts of the menace himself, swishing its tendrils violently whilst submerged in foam for yet another extensive filming session which was required to pull off the story’s terrifying and complex final episode.

The actor John Abineri recalled when I spoke to him about Fury from the Deep some years ago : “Fury was a classic. I will never forget my death scene, I was drawn into a chimney of foam arranged by the visual effects guy, Peter Day, who was absolutely wonderful.”

Peter then worked with Ian Scoones on The Ambassadors of Death which had some gorgeous model work, whilst The Daemons and The Sea Devils are two of the Pertwee era’s most memorable stories, their imagery and monsters forever embedded in the minds of the children who watched them upon broadcast. Genesis of the Daleks is one of the show’s undisputed high points, and Peter was involved in realising the now iconic character of Davros, creator of the Daleks, a mutated half-man/half-Dalek construction and now a key part of the show’s mythology. The Deadly Assassin (like Fury from the Deep, a co-credit with Len Hutton) is a visual triumph and quite a demanding story for effects, especially for the memorable sequences in which the Doctor fights for his life amongst the surreal goings-on in the Time Lords’ Matrix. Peter also worked on The Monster of Peladon and The Sunmakers – bringing his total to 10 stories across three Doctors.

He had always been creative – he studied theatre design at Wimbledon Art School and then spent some time working for model firms and in screen advertising, filming animation models for Pearl and Dean. He then spent a couple of years at the Arts Theatre, London under its director Alec Clunes, working as a scenic artist during the day and on shows during their evening performances. 

He joined the BBC Visual Effects Department in 1958 as one of the very first assistants to what had up to that point been a two man band : pioneers and department founders Jack Kine and Bernard Wilkie. Peter was quickly embroiled in science-fiction, helping Kine design and build the Martians for the seminal 1958/59 series Quatermass and the Pit, in which he also cameoed as the hand of drill operator Sladden for the memorable gravel moving sequence that closed Episode Four (one of TV science-fiction’s most enduring visuals which famously stopped the nation in its tracks), and in the next episode in a film sequence as a TV Cameraman’s assistant. 

Peter Day, far left, with another Doctor Who legend, John Scott Martin, in Quatermass and the Pit (1959).

Over the years as visual effects designer – a job that required mastery of art, pyrotechnics, design, sculpting, electronics .. all sorts – he worked on so many classics : Dad’s Army, Adam Adamant Lives, Doomwatch, Survivors, Out of the Unknown, The Goodies, Some Mothers Do ‘ave ’em, The Stone Tape, and Shackleton.

This month some examples of Peter’s work are being exhibited as part of “Time” at the Business Design Centre in London (6th – 15 April) curated by his granddaughter Phoebe for the Brain Tumour Charity for which she is a fundraiser. Peter’s family will remember him as “the life and soul of any party, the king of fancy dress and a talented artist – but most importantly a very much adored husband, father and grandfather who gave this planet 95 years of his wonderful life”.

Peter Day with me after recording the 2018 Blu-ray commentary for Quatermass and the Pit at his home.

On a personal note, Peter was always a very helpful and willing correspondent and he and his wife Elizabeth were extremely hospitable when Charles Norton and I went to their home to record the commentary track with him for the 2019 Blu-ray release of Quatermass and the Pit which he contributed to gamely despite some health issues. He was so helpful and we were thrilled that he was featured on the disc. Elizabeth survives him as do his sons Justin and Rupert, daughters-in-law Sue and Kate and grandchildren Phoebe, Rufus, Henry, Lola and Daisy.

Peter’s exhibited work will soon be auctioned in aid of the Brain Tumour Charity – details here. The exhibition can be found here .

Peter Day, visual effects designer, born 9th July 1927 – died 13th March 2023.

With thanks to Phoebe Day and the Day family. 

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This has become an annual tradition, my video remembering those talented individuals from the world of Doctor Who who left us this year. Please share it among friends whom you think may be interested…

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If you enjoyed my podcast on the Class of ’63 – the schoolkid extras in Doctor’s Who‘s untransmitted pilot and the first episode of Doctor Who – then hopefully these accompanying images will be of interest. Pop to your podcast provider to enjoy the episode. It is on iTunes here. It is part of Toby Hadoke’s Time Travels in the strand (Far) Too Much Information. There is more information if you subscribe to my Patreon page.

Here are the school kids (thanks to Joe Lidster for the graphics and screen grabs from the episode, which he originally compiled for the Quiz of Rassilon, and to Shaquille le Vescomte and Rhys Williams):

Girl with Scarf – Heather Lyons

Heather Lyons 1962

Heather Lyons in 2013

Shady Sal – Carol Clark (later Carol Friday, Caroline Villiers)

Carol Clarke 1962

As Carol Friday 1967

As Caroline Villiers, 1985

In the video for Cher’s Gypsies, Tramps and Thieves, c. 1970.

And here she is in action:

Singing Wasted Days.

Being Interviewed on German TV (excuse the long intro).

Karen – Francesca Bettorelli

Francesca Bertorelli 1962

Francesca Bertorelli – date unknown

Francesca Bertorelli in The Romans, 1964

Francesca trying to buy her old schoolteacher in The Romans: All Roads Lead to Rome

No Chair Steve – Cedric Shoemann

Cedric Shoeman 1962

Cedric Shoeman today

Fit Danny – Brian Thomas

Brian Thomas 1962

Kenneth Williams – Richard Willson (later Richard Alexander)

Richard Alexander, c.1970

Richard Wilson 1967 (as Curly in To Sir With Love)

The Lonely Blonde – Mavis Ranson (where are you now Mavis?)

Mavis Ranson in Gideon’s Day, 1958

Mavis Ranson in The Piper’s Tune, 1962

Mavis Ranson 1962

If anyone knows where Mavis is then please drop me a line here. You can learn about all of the others in my special podcast that is really worth your time if you like human stories and Doctor Who arcana.

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Z-CARS, JACKANORY and DOCTOR WHO ACTOR BERNARD HOLLEY DIES AGED 81

Bernard Holley in a publicity shot from 1971

Bernard Holley, who became a household name during his 277 episode stint as PC Newcombe in the ground breaking and popular police series Z-Cars (at the height of its popularity between 1967-71), has died aged 81 after a long illness. He later played in another mould-shattering police drama, The Gentle Touch (1982-84), as Detective Inspector Mike Turnbull – the partner of central character Maggie Forbes (played by the late Jill Gascoine). He also joined Gascoine on the spin-off series CATS Eyes (1984).

His other credits included two roles in Doctor Who : Peter Haydon in one of the show’s all time classics, The Tomb of the Cybermen (1967), and as Axos in The Claws of Axos (1971) opposite Jon Pertwee : a role he reprised opposite Colin Baker on audio for Big Finish.

With Toby Hadoke and Victor Pemberton at the recording of the DVD commentary of The Tomb of the Cybermen in 2010 (photo copyright: Toby Hadoke)

As Charlie Boyd in the 2014 film Extended Rest (photo: Oliver Crocker)

He was a familiar face on British screen for over 50 years, debuting on TV soap The Newcomers in 1966 and still working in the past decade on shows like Doctors and Casualty. He was also a reader on children’s favourite Jackanory between 1974 and 1991 and was an in-demand voice over man, his warm tones heard on countless adverts and documentaries.

His longtime friend, BAFTA winning producer Clive Doig, says “From Z-Cars to Just for Men Bernard was a face and voice instantly recognisable. I first worked with Bernard when he played the burglar on The Phoenix and the Carpet, recorded in 1976. We struck up a lasting friendship and Bernard  became part of my reparatory company in shows like The Deceivers and Eureka. He was always my closest friend in Kew – although he had many brothers of his own, Bernard and I were like brothers.”

“He was an actor with such an easy naturalism that he made small screen acting look much simpler than it actually is,” says his friend, actor Toby Hadoke. “It’s no surprise he made TV his home so early on and that directors went to him again and again. He was always totally believable, communicating a lot by doing very little and he had a natural warmth and charm that made him easy to watch and a likeable performer. He was such a reliable and welcome presence I think everyone thought they kind of knew him.”

Bernard Holley in his Doctor Who tie – photo by Trevor Smith (used with permission and thanks)

Bernard Holley (photo: Ryan McGivern)

Holley, who was born in Middlesex on August 9th 1940, had been in ill health for some time and passed away on the morning of November 22nd. He is survived by his wife Jean, to whom he was married for over 50 years, and their son Michael, grandchildren Marley and Isla and five brothers and two sisters.

Bernard Holley at the 2013 Capitol Doctor Who convention (photo: Tony Jordan)

This post will be updated throughout the day. Press can use any photos featured here so long as the copyright holders are acknowledged.

Toby Hadoke 22nd November 2021

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I have joined Coronation Street as a new character, Fergus Dunford, who has managed to escape the confines of Hadoke Towers, where I filmed his first scenes, and walk the cobbles (which Fergus patrols as traffic warden). You can see one of the Zoom scenes we filmed here, but keep an eye out on TV at the beginning of October (both episodes on Monday 4th and Wednesday 6th) for some fabulous scenes, and that won’t be the last you’ll see of him either.

Fergus is making an impact on the Street (and indeed Inside Soap)…

I am back on BBC Radio 4 Extra from Saturday 3rd October for 3 weekends, presenting the science-fiction hour The Seventh Dimension and sprinkling it with arcane facts and due reverence. We have, among other things, a trip to the Village with The Prisoner, a play about witchcraft from Liz Lochhead and a tribute to the recently departed John Challis, a fabulous fellow who plays a cynical policeman in a spooky play from 1998. I also wrote John’s obituary for The Guardian, which you can read here.

Recording the commentary for The Evil of the Daleks with producer John Kelly and Frazer Hines (Jamie).

I feature on the commentary for the recently released Blu-ray of The Evil of the Daleks which might just be the best Doctor Who missing episode animation yet. I am also on the commentary and the documentary for the forthcoming release of Galaxy Four – we only filmed the documentary at the beginning of September and the disc is out very soon : probably our quickest turnaround.

My first TV script was aired at the end of last month. My episode of Biff and Chip – episode 11, Buried Treasure – is still available on iPlayer and I think that they have done a lovely job with it. I’m quite proud to have had a script that has finally made it to screen: and I owe brilliant producer and Guardian Angel Charlotte Riches a great debt of gratitude for getting me on the team, and script editor Luke Frost deserves bucketloads of thanks for bearing with me as we went through draft after draft I order to get it right. The episode can still be seen here.

A TV Credit!!

XS Malarkey – my award winning, 24 year old comedy club – has opened its doors again after over a year of lockdown shows (we ran weekly throughout the pandemic). We have some great acts and shows coming up – including John-Luke Roberts, Harriet Kemsley, Thanyia Moore, Sophie Duker, Bethany Black and Ed Knight – and they kick off at 8pm at our usual venue of The Bread Shed in Manchester. Our online shows went so well we are going to continue with them, bringing you fantastic acts from around the world on the first Sunday of every month at 8pm on our Twitch channel. The next one features the brilliant Tom Ward (a Malarkey debut!) and fabulous US act Naomi Ekperigin.

Back on stage where I belong at XS Malarkey…

My podcasts are all up and away. They just clocked up over 100, 000 downloads across 100 episodes which I am told is very good (we only launched 10 months ago)! They are all about Doctor Who : there’s Too Much Information (a fact-filled, episode-by-episode breakdown), Indefinable Magic (whimsical vocal essays inspired by some random aspect of the the show), and Happy Times and Places (commentaries with the aim of positivity). They are released under the blanket title of Toby Hadoke’s Time Travels. My Podbean podcast page is here. My Patreon Page is here.

I have directed, and am in, a new comedy pilot by Jonathan Morris – it’s a Dan Dare/Buck Rogers type spoof called Dick Dixon in the 21st Century and is very funny. It has a great soundscape and a terrific cast including Kieran Hodgson, Dan Starkey, Terry Molloy and Sooz Kempner. Jonny has packed it with jokes and characters who will definitely strike a chord with anyone who likes what I like. The pilot episode here.  and I am very pleased to say that we have just recorded more episodes which will be out soon.

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With Louse Pajo, sadly one of the many wonderful Who folk to feature in this year’s obituary video.

My tribute video to the great and good from Doctor Who who died in 2020.

Throughout the year I put together a montage remembering those creatives – actors, writers, behind-the-scenes grafters – who have contributed to the legend that is Doctor Who but who have sadly passed away on the last 12 months. Its a bit of a labour of love but I hope you can give it 15 minutes of your time in order to salute the spinners of our childhood dreams. There are some fine talent there including Philip Martin, David Collings, Dame Diana Rigg, Honor Blackman, Louise Pajo, Pip Baker, Maurice Roeves, John Fraser, Philip Latham, Nicholas Parsons, Geoffrey Palmer and Jeremy Bulloch and Peter Craze, who were drama school buddies who both appeared in The Space Museum and both died within a few short weeks of each other at the end of 2020.

Check out the video below.

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This month sees the launch of my Patreon page which can be found here. I’m using lockdown to be creative: I’m posting work-in-progress comedy, bits from my archive and, mostly, advance or exclusive editions of my new set of podcasts which come under the umbrella title Toby Hadoke’s Time Travels.

There are four in all (I know, I couldn’t decide which one to do). Here are the details:

Happy Times and Places – A Doctor Who commentary in which a friend nominates a story that they love and I have to dispense facts, observations and opinions, all the while trying to guess what their favourite things about it are. This way, both of us are constantly erring on the positive – so this’ll have that rare thing, Doctor Who fans who actually seem to like the show. It’s intended as an upbeat and celebratory piece in order to shine a light in the darkness of lockdown. I have some great guests too: comedians (Johnny Candon, Tom Burgess, John Cooper, Paul Litchfield), writers (Daragh Carville, Dan Rebellato, Simon Guerrier, Joe Lidster), venerable fans (Jeremy Bentham, Richard Marson, David J Howe, Emily Cook, Gary Russell), and many more. Happy Times and Places will be released at least once a week.It will be available as an audio podcast and a a you Tube video.

Indefinable Magic is a series of whimsical monologues inspired by some (often quite arcane) aspect of the show – part QI, part Letter From America, part Thought For The Day, no two episodes are the same except for the gentle, enthusiastic and geeky tone. There are nostalgic remembrances, stories that most fans will identify with, or odd trivial investigations unearthing hitherto uncovered aspects of the show and its makers, such as a history of carrots in Doctor Who, or an examination of the war records of some of its stars. There’s a new score composed especially for this by Dominic Glynn. Indefinable Magic will be released at least once per month, more if inspiration or generosity strike.

Too Much Information is an episode-by-episode, blow-by-blow account of the series, going into ludicrous and possibly certifiable details, outlining the Who, What and When of every single instalment of the show. Observations, biographies of unsung heroes, and a York Notes style overview of the production process, cross-referencing a lot of existing paperwork but also uncovering a load of new and sometimes left-field facts. It will track the creation of the episode (that’s episode, not story) from beginning to end, and toss in a boatload of trivia in between.  It has an original score composed by the amazing comedian and musician Waen Shepherd (aka Gary le Strange). Too Much Information will be released once a month, hopefully picking up pace as it goes along but let’s see.

(Far) Too Much Information has all the stuff I couldn’t fit into Far Too Much Information. This one is truly hardcore. If you want to know what happened to the Call Hill schoolkids, or who shone the light that made the title sequence swirl, then this is the one for you. But be warned, once you start looking for this level of detail: there’s no going back. (Far) Too Much Information is, for now, for patrons only.

Patrons will get postings on at least three days a week, and will be several weeks ahead of the standard iTunes releases. They will also get exclusive episodes and bonus content. There are seceral layers of patron, but all the major stuff is available from even the cheapest tier : it’s really a Pay What You can model.

So please do spread the word. Oh, and enjoy an extended preview of everything that is on offer…

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I’m experimenting with Patreon and Ko-fi models to finance my work, which I am producing during lockdown. There will be a couple of podcasts, and I’m looking into various bits of writing and regular video content too. Happy to take suggestions if there’s anything you think I should do (“bog off and never come back” isn’t the sort of feedback I’m looking for by the way). I will launch those pages, and some of the content, soon – so please spread the word.

But for now…

During lockdown I recorded the DVD commentary for the forthcoming Doctor Who lost story animation release Fury from the Deep which is out on 14th September. Details for it have been announced here. The commentary features someone from the animation team, as well as cast and crew from the original production, three of whom aren’t on the DVD’s Making of… documentary which is excellent and nothing to die with me). We have even coaxed an interview from an illustrious nonagenarian who has never spoken about his time on Doctor Who before.

XS Malarkey has become even more creative in these trying times, and this virus hasn’t stopped us putting on our regular Tuesday shows. We’ve been doing our gigs on Twitch, with our fine array of comics adapting their skills to a new medium (which combines living rooms and cyberspace with just a dash of invention and a soupçon of desperation). So far we’ve had Robin Ince, Josie Long, James Acaster, Nish Kumar, Mark Watson, Tom Allen, Jordan Brookes, Randy, Rob Rouse, Eddie Pepitone, Judah Friedlander and many more. They’ve been great, and the audience have really got involved. We’re also raiding our archives and playing past performances from classic Malarkey nights on Sundays at 8pm – Sophie Willan, Laura Lexx, Anna Mann and Sean McLoughlin have submitted to this process, joining us to forensically dissect their sets, their jokes and their comedy lives for us. Both gigs are free but rely on donations. Find our channel here. The shows remain available for 14 days after broadcast.

It’s a gig, but not as we know it – XS Malarkey has been adapting to the brave new world we find ourselves in…

I have written more Guardian obituaries: one for actor Maurice Roeves, and another for Louis Mahoney.

I feature (vocally) on the brand new Making Of… documentary of the recently released Power of the Daleks DVD/Blu-Ray, available here. It’s a very detailed look at the production from script to screen, and features part of a telephone call I did with Pamela Ann Davy, the lovely actress who appeared in the story, on what turned out to be her only interview about Doctor Who before her death shortly after we spoke.

Other than that it’s dog walking and growing veg and all the things you would expect a stereotypically middle class twit like me to be doing .. oh, well, I have also been tracing all the school children extras from the very first episode of Doctor Who, as you do. Do stay safe and wear a mask if you can, thank you!!

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Here’s just a breakdown of what I’ve been up to and where you can find me during this frenzy of pestilence. 

 

Sophie Willan and Sean McCloughlin discuss their sets with me, Jon and Ros on one of our internet comedy shows: part of XS Malarkey’s incentive to boost morale in time of plague.

XS Malarkey has got very creative in these trying times, and this virus hasn’t stopped us putting on our regular Tuesday shows. We’ve been doing our gigs on Twitch, with our fine array of comics adapting their skills to a new medium (which combines living rooms and cyberspace with just a dash of invention and a soupçon of desperation). So far we’ve had Robin Ince, Josie Long, James Acaster, Nish Kumar, Mark Watson, Tom Allen, Jordan Brookes, Randy, Rob Rouse and many more. They’ve been great, and the audience have really got involved. We’re also raiding our archives and playing past performances from classic Malarkey nights on Sundays at 8pm – Tez Ilyas, Sophie Willan, Laura Lexx and Sean McLoughlin have submitted to this process, joining us to forensically dissect their sets, their jokes and their comedy lives for us. Both gigs are free but rely on donations. Find our channel here. The shows remain available for 14 days after broadcast.

I will continue presenting The 7th Dimension on Radio 4 Extra but will be a little bit automated. There are some great shows though, so make sure you continue to tune in at 6pm and midnight. 

The documentary The Doctor Who Cookbook – Revisited which I present has been nominated for a Royal Television Society Award (Best Factual Entertainment and Features) which is rather delightful. My next documentary – Whose Doctor Who Revisited – is on the newly available Season 14 Blu-ray box set: it might just be my favourite so far. Doctor Who Magazine described it as “a fascinating and heartwarming feature”. 

Reuniting producer Tony Cash with three of the children featured in his 1977 Whose Doctor Who documentary. Since filming with us in November Tony has sadly died.

Because we are in lockdown, I (alongside my other half, Cherylee Houston off of Corrie) have done a stupid video which is a sort of sequel to the above. In it we do a bit of cooking… Have a look here and here.

The actor David Collings who died in March

I have a new regular page in Doctor Who Magazine called Space Time Visualiser – this issue lets you know what’s been going on with your favourite Who stars under lockdown. There’s also a tribute I have put together for David Collings, that fine actor who appeared in three Doctor Who stories. 

I have also been on obituary duties at the Herald this month – one for David Collings and one for Hamish Wilson.

I recorded a Radio 4 Play, Not For Turning, before lockdown – it will be broadcast in September and is written by Tim Dawson who wrote the sitcom Coming of Age. I also had a great time recording a genre audiobook recently – details when I’m allowed to share them. I’m very proud of it though.

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