https://weirdorconfusing.com/ Recent content on Weird or Confusing Hugo -- gohugo.io en-us Mon, 23 Jan 2023 00:00:57 +0000 https://weirdorconfusing.com/realistic-stomach-fanny-pack/ Mon, 23 Jan 2023 00:00:57 +0000 https://weirdorconfusing.com/realistic-stomach-fanny-pack/
It’s time to break out the sewing machine and remove those pesky pockets from literally all your clothes, because from now on when it comes to carrying things, this realistic beer-gut-styled fanny pack is all you’re going to need going forwards. Truly, an item that is a fit for all body types, although if you yourself are supporting a little bit of a healthy gut, it is worth noting that you may get confused after long wears and begin searching for the zipper upon your real body, as well as the occasional fever dream about unzipping yourself and storing keepsakes as a human evolved form of kangaroo.

Stomach Fanny Pack on Amazon https://weirdorconfusing.com/chicken-nugget-keychain/ Fri, 30 Dec 2022 00:00:57 +0000 https://weirdorconfusing.com/chicken-nugget-keychain/
We can liken the invention of the chicken nugget keychain to that of newton’s discovery of gravity, a sleeping genius with eyes closed and mind shut to the world wakes up to a jolt! In this case, a million-dollar idea that will cast your family forward on the social ladder and maintain your legacy for generations to come… they rush out of bed to begin designing and building what ultimately becomes this beautiful keychain.

Chicken Nugget Keychain on Amazon https://weirdorconfusing.com/tortilla-blanket/ Sun, 18 Dec 2022 00:00:57 +0000 https://weirdorconfusing.com/tortilla-blanket/
Move over sleeping bags, swaddling up like a big burrito is back in town… did it ever really leave town? Now, it’s hard not to imagine that every time someone is rolling up their burrito, squeezing in those few evasive beans and rice they haven’t imagined themselves getting rolled up too. What a nice feeling it would be to be all cozied up amongst the beautiful and homely smell of a fresh tortilla ready to be gobbled, now you can realize that dream.

Tortilla Blanket on Amazon https://weirdorconfusing.com/unicorn-meat/ Wed, 23 Nov 2022 00:00:57 +0000 https://weirdorconfusing.com/unicorn-meat/
Sushhh the little vegetarian angel on your shoulder, unicorn meat is here to stay, 100% natural 100% rainbows, and 100% sparkling beauty into this fantastic, stackable, doomsday prepper-approved cans, that may hold unicorn, or what my light research has told me, may hold some kind of weighty can filler. With a shifty USDA “rating”, graded under the “mentally alert supervision”, this prank can has it all, and while there are no promises that you won’t be able to resist whipping out the can opener and cutting it open out of curiosity (it did kill the cat), or out of primal hunger at 2am one thing is for sure, this can sit beautifully at the back of your cupboard amongst the beans, collecting some slight rust, and waiting for its moment in the sunshine!

Unicorn Meat on Amazon https://weirdorconfusing.com/crafting-with-cat-hair/ Wed, 23 Nov 2022 00:00:57 +0000 https://weirdorconfusing.com/crafting-with-cat-hair/
You could covet cashmere, fine Marino wool, or beautiful soft mink, but with this book, your eyes will be opened to the wonderful world of your cat’s own hair. And I don’t mean the hair that covers every piece of your regular clothes, no no, with this you’ll start to think bigger, muuuuch bigger. BUT, before we think bigger we have to remember that every Versace in the world (even the cat hair kind) has to start small, and in this case that means harvesting, and binding together your lovely kittens shedding hair.

Crafting with Cat Hair on Amazon https://weirdorconfusing.com/cat-sitter-vhs/ Wed, 23 Nov 2022 00:00:57 +0000 https://weirdorconfusing.com/cat-sitter-vhs/
Yes the quality is fuzzy, yes the tape can catch, and yes you can’t pause the picture without a fuzz of lines making it very difficult to see the screen, but at the end of the day, there’s nothing that brings on the nostalgia quite like a wild night with the VHS blaring. Now that we’ve addressed the homey quality of VHS we can get into the real meat of the review, and that’s how much your cats will be enthralled by over an hour of uninterrupted squirrel & bird action along with the sound quality that only a video can bring.

Cat Sitter VHS on Amazon https://weirdorconfusing.com/the-roto-wipe/ Wed, 23 Nov 2022 00:00:57 +0000 https://weirdorconfusing.com/the-roto-wipe/
While again I feel the need to add the secondary disclaimer that this is only THE BOX for the roto wipe, I can’t help but feel complete wonder for this design, and a larger curiosity as to why it hasn’t been picked up and created in the real world. No one will deny that with alleged 2700 RPMs, this roto wipe would not only clean your privates but if anything, would take along anything it touches into the watery depths of your plumbing.

The Roto Wipe on Amazon https://weirdorconfusing.com/subtle-butts/ Wed, 23 Nov 2022 00:00:57 +0000 https://weirdorconfusing.com/subtle-butts/
While the word subtle is thrown around a lot, with “subtle butts” you can give the not-so-subtle gift of fresh air to your family at the next gathering, or the also not-so-subtle signal to your “funny uncle” that he’s got a problem and also that he’s not allowed any more beans. All things considered, I’m a little afraid to fart into one of these bad boys and confirm fully that it neutralizes all that it says it neutralizes, so I’m open to any feedback as to the efficacy here.

Subtle Butts on Amazon https://weirdorconfusing.com/nose-aerobics/ Wed, 23 Nov 2022 00:00:57 +0000 https://weirdorconfusing.com/nose-aerobics/
Want to look cool and strong in front of your family or co-workers, then dedicating most of your waking hours to Play Visions Nose Aerobics is the fastest path. Soon you’ll be swinging that muscular neck, flicking that smooth-skinned nose back and forth, and swishing that small orange ball, all net, every time. Now the word on the street in these bad boys are discontinued, and we can only really assume that some key component has been mined to extinction, and there can’t be any more made.

Nose Aerobics on Amazon https://weirdorconfusing.com/never-ending-happy-birthday-card/ Wed, 23 Nov 2022 00:00:57 +0000 https://weirdorconfusing.com/never-ending-happy-birthday-card/
This birthday card definitely falls into the #1 smart and evil ideas on this site, there are a few well-thought-out features that make it as elaborate as it is. In fact, I can give you a very clear play-by-play of how this goes. Gift the card, and everyone is happy Someone presses the button, which behind a painful never-ending tune Everyone starts to go insane, trying to hide said card Someone gets the smart idea to rip open the card to pull out the battery Glitter and confetti everywhere Friendship over, everyone is sad Now that’s said, you can go into the idea of gifting this card with the entire 1 possible scenario completely drawn out and clear in your head.

Never Ending Happy Birthday Card on Amazon https://weirdorconfusing.com/learning-to-play-with-a-lions-testicles/ Wed, 23 Nov 2022 00:00:57 +0000 https://weirdorconfusing.com/learning-to-play-with-a-lions-testicles/
Are you an adventurous traveler looking to make the leap from the page to the jungle… if so, this book is without a doubt for you? “Learning to play with lion’s testicles” eloquently combines both the internal and external challenges the author faces, be it elephants, torrential storms, or the guilt and recovery of a lost loved one. Honestly, the title here is all cheek. Playing with a lion’s testicles, of course, referring to a foolhardy task.

To Play With a Lion's on Amazon https://weirdorconfusing.com/gift-of-nothing/ Wed, 23 Nov 2022 00:00:57 +0000 https://weirdorconfusing.com/gift-of-nothing/
While we technically are giving and receiving this gift at any given moment, the special thing about this gift of nothing is its extremely professional wrapping, highlighting that while you are lucky to be getting a gift even a piece of coal would be nicer. Truly this gift will be an instant hit in white elephants, as well as a great bonus for your top working employees (again, the wrapping is the key here)

Gift of Nothing on Amazon https://weirdorconfusing.com/dooty-head/ Wed, 23 Nov 2022 00:00:57 +0000 https://weirdorconfusing.com/dooty-head/
Call “it” what you want, this game looks to be one of those “it’s so simple why didn’t I think of it” hits that will provide hours of laughter, and will appeal to anyone who likes the idea of throwing plush “dooties” at the head of your friends and family (the entire planet). The rules for dooty head are a little abstract, though the goal is clear, if you’ve stuck a dooty (the word is starting to lose all meaning to me now) to your opponent’s cap, worn on the head, then you’re a point up.

Dooty Head on Amazon https://weirdorconfusing.com/dancing-with-cats/ Wed, 23 Nov 2022 00:00:57 +0000 https://weirdorconfusing.com/dancing-with-cats/
By now you’ve probably completed all the projects in the wonderful “crafting with cat hair” and with it, your cat’s own hair supply is extremely depleted. While you wait for that hair to build up again you have a couple of choices, the first would be to get another cat the other though, is to begin a new cat-based journey, and I believe my friend, that dance is that journey.

Dancing with Cats on Amazon https://weirdorconfusing.com/creepy-clown-art/ Wed, 23 Nov 2022 00:00:57 +0000 https://weirdorconfusing.com/creepy-clown-art/
Do you ever have a feeling that your house is just too nice, and you’re just too relaxed, and that maybe 8 to 9 hours of peaceful uninterrupted sleep is giving you too much of a positive excited attitude heading into the day, then the answer to these problems is clear, there just aren’t enough clowns on the walls of your house. With just one small artwork you’ll find that people have an odd cold feeling as they enter your house, and that strange chill that crawls down your spine will become an hourly, if not minute-ly thing, this alone will save you on cooling in those hot summers.

Creepy Clown Art on Amazon https://weirdorconfusing.com/yodeling-pickle/ Wed, 23 Nov 2022 00:00:57 +0000 https://weirdorconfusing.com/yodeling-pickle/
No, you didn’t turn yourself into a pickle, but you did the next best thing which is getting a wonderful yodeling pickle, keeping it in your pocket for the rest of your life, and learning the wonderful yodeling techniques that have been handed down pickle to pickle for generations. After you’ve got one of these bad boys in your possession, you’ll never need to smash that like or subscribe button again, the only button that you’ll be interested in is the small green button that gets your pickle yodeling.

Yodeling Pickle on Amazon https://weirdorconfusing.com/toad-handbag/ Wed, 23 Nov 2022 00:00:57 +0000 https://weirdorconfusing.com/toad-handbag/
While some designers use traditional leather, some use crocodile leather, and some snake, the larger underappreciated leather in the world of fashion is definitely that of the humble toad. Now it’s one thing to use leather from a toad, but another thing entirely to use the entire creature. In our case, and honestly, what I would consider the only humane case this is faux toad leather, but being fake as it is it doesn’t leave out any of the nitty-gritty pocks, warts, and imperfections that make it so beautiful.

Toad Handbag on Amazon https://weirdorconfusing.com/pooping-pooches-calendar/ Wed, 23 Nov 2022 00:00:57 +0000 https://weirdorconfusing.com/pooping-pooches-calendar/
Every year that rolls around is a new opportunity to replace that boring “influential quotes” style calendar with something that will get everyone talking and everyone brooding with excitement as each month comes to an end. Then, as your whole family stays up to midnight you can collectively flip the calendar’s page to the new month and be reminded that yes, dogs, much like you, also poop. If the look pooches vulnerably pooping isn’t enough, this is a fully functional calendar with many high-grade features, including but not limited to, the day of the month, the number of the day of the month, and a beautiful square that you can write events that can’t be forgotten, that weird uncles birthday, or when your next to call in the exterminator.

Pooping Pooches Calendar on Amazon https://weirdorconfusing.com/mullet-on-the-go/ Wed, 23 Nov 2022 00:00:57 +0000 https://weirdorconfusing.com/mullet-on-the-go/
Here’s one hard fact: There’s basically no situation in life that would not be better with a mullet That is, mullets are without question the superior haircut, something to say cool and smart at the same time. Something that is a cornerstone of your personality and fashion sense, easily extended with a neat mustache or a pair of aviators. No haircut demands respect like a mullet, all business at the front and all party at the back.

Mullet on the go on Amazon https://weirdorconfusing.com/lick-your-cat-groomer/ Wed, 23 Nov 2022 00:00:57 +0000 https://weirdorconfusing.com/lick-your-cat-groomer/
For those having trouble communicating to their beloved cat that they care for them so much that they’d put a large pink prosthetic tongue in their mouth, and strain their neck to do something a hand could do around fifteen to twenty times better. That said, there is a small chance that the cat recognizes this a little more like licking, though my gut tells me they’ll chalk it down to another strange “human thing”, and take a little pity on you, perhaps bringing you in a grasshopper or mouse from outside.

Lick Your Cat Groomer on Amazon https://weirdorconfusing.com/kama-pootra/ Wed, 23 Nov 2022 00:00:57 +0000 https://weirdorconfusing.com/kama-pootra/
Everybody poops, that’s a fact (is that a fact?). One thing about pooping is that its an EXTREMELY solitary task, and when you start to think about it, you don’t have too much of a reference as to whether the way you do the deed is the same as how anyone else does said deed, well, this beautifully illustrated book solves that problem. Another thing that really needs addressing here, is that books for the coffee table get all the attention and love, sure they’re on display for everyone, but as I have mentioned previously, what is one thing that everyone has in common?

Kama Pootra on Amazon https://weirdorconfusing.com/inflatable-unicorn-horn-for-cats/ Wed, 23 Nov 2022 00:00:57 +0000 https://weirdorconfusing.com/inflatable-unicorn-horn-for-cats/
If you find yourself dressing up your animals then you’ve already taken the weird first step required. Now, take a look at the If you find yourself dressing up your animals then you’ve already taken the weird first step required. If you find that your cat is subtly disrespecting you, and lets face it they definitely are, then it’s time to break out the inflatable unicorn horn for cats and have your say.

Inflatable Unicorn Horn for Cats on Amazon https://weirdorconfusing.com/handerpants/ Wed, 23 Nov 2022 00:00:57 +0000 https://weirdorconfusing.com/handerpants/
Handerpants are one of those once-in-a-lifetime ideas, something you can compare to the lightbulb, or automobile, something that makes so much sense you can only wonder “how didn’t I think of that” as well as “how will I ever live without these” It goes without saying that underpants offer you all the comfort and support of regular underpants, and are completely unisex, with soft cotton and a washer/dryer safe elastic making sure they keep secure and clean.

Handerpants on Amazon https://weirdorconfusing.com/grow-a-boyfriend/ Wed, 23 Nov 2022 00:00:57 +0000 https://weirdorconfusing.com/grow-a-boyfriend/
If you dream of a partner with washboard abs, but can’t find any at the wallmart you’re shopping at then you may be the kind of person that could benefit from growing your own. Not only are self grown boyfriends nicer than the store bought (honestly, who really knows what chemicals they grow them with) you also have the full self satisfaction of having put in the hours, as well as your own water, to help them grow.

Grow a Boyfriend on Amazon https://weirdorconfusing.com/dehydrated-water/ Wed, 23 Nov 2022 00:00:57 +0000 https://weirdorconfusing.com/dehydrated-water/
Perfect for dads on the go, this dehydrated water is the ultimate party pleaser, and to get it going you only really need to follow one single step! Add Water There is no 2, you’re done! That’s it! Now you’re ready to enjoy your water, fully hydrated and ready to go. Great for desert hikes, long runs on the beach, and taking the ring to Mordor. If you need any more convincing you can take a look at the amazing testimonials, but without question, this will remain in your family for generations to come.

Dehydrated Water on Amazon https://weirdorconfusing.com/chia-bob-ross/ Wed, 23 Nov 2022 00:00:57 +0000 https://weirdorconfusing.com/chia-bob-ross/
Does the idea of spreading chia seeds over a smiling ceramic mold of one of the world’s favorite painters make the hairs on the back of your neck stand up? Then look no further than this particularly creepy chia Bob Ross Planter. In no time you’ll be trimming the lively scented afro, sculpting bob’s beautiful green perm into shapes and sizes you always dreamed of. Mowhawk? Yes. Buzz Cut? Yes! Classic Karen do?

Chia Bob Ross on Amazon https://weirdorconfusing.com/bacon-bandages/ Wed, 23 Nov 2022 00:00:57 +0000 https://weirdorconfusing.com/bacon-bandages/
Some people like the idea of hiding their cuts and gashes, covering up the open wound with some skin-colored bandage that keeps it nice, hidden & clean… this product is not for those people. Bacon Bandages are an instant conversation starter, you can imagine pretty clearly how it goes in your head. “Is that bacon on your knee?” “Yes, yes it is.” After a few days of these bad boys, you’ll wonder why they even sell the other (unbaconated?

Bacon Bandages on Amazon https://weirdorconfusing.com/nicolas-cage-sequin-pillow/ Wed, 23 Nov 2022 00:00:57 +0000 https://weirdorconfusing.com/nicolas-cage-sequin-pillow/
While it seems like the world of Sequin Pillows is richer than that of beanie babies or baseball cards, there is one pillow that rises above the rest, the holo Charizard of the lot, and that my friends, is the Nicolas Cage Sequin Pillow. This Pillow (case only) is the true celebration of Nic’s colorful career, and even if you’re not feeling particularly Cage’y with a wipe of your hand you can brush off the face and be straight down to a beautiful sparkling red.

Nicolas Cage Sequin Pillow on Amazon https://weirdorconfusing.com/lie-down-glasses/ Wed, 23 Nov 2022 00:00:57 +0000 https://weirdorconfusing.com/lie-down-glasses/
In terms of practicality, especially on this website, these lie-down glasses may actually be one of the few useful items, and also one of the most self explanatory… I mean, do I really need to give much of a description here? Via the mystical and ancient power of mirrors and reflection these glasses will give you a tilted view of your feet, or if you are lying down, then your regular surroundings, so whether you’re completely in love with your feet, or want to read/watch tv, watch out the window, or just plain watch the clock then these will do the trick.

Lie Down Glasses on Amazon https://weirdorconfusing.com/instant-underpants/ Wed, 23 Nov 2022 00:00:57 +0000 https://weirdorconfusing.com/instant-underpants/
Another item that falls under the ever-popular “just add water” category, seems to have no shortage of interesting and extremely useful items. That being said though, these instant underpants will provide you with an instant conundrum… if I’ve wet my underpants, what use are instant underpants if they too have to be wet. Well, unlike most of life’s conundrums, I’ll give you the answer to this one, it’s really simple. Wet (with water) underpants are better than wet (with something that’s not water) or dirty underpants.

Instant Underpants on Amazon https://weirdorconfusing.com/farting-animal-coloring-book/ Wed, 23 Nov 2022 00:00:57 +0000 https://weirdorconfusing.com/farting-animal-coloring-book/
This book combines three of the world’s biggest loves, those being: Animals. Everyone loves a dog or a cat, or a horse. Some people are goat people & some people are cow people, and some people love Elephants. Even rats and mice are loved by some. Coloring. Coloring between the lines is something we all try somewhere in our lives, you’ll find it not for everyone, and some people are more abstract, but either way, it’s a lesson we all learn

Farting Animal Coloring Book on Amazon https://weirdorconfusing.com/terms/ Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000 https://weirdorconfusing.com/terms/
Terms and Conditions Last updated: January 29, 2023 Please read these terms and conditions carefully before using Our Service. Interpretation and Definitions Interpretation The words of which the initial letter is capitalized have meanings defined under the following conditions. The following definitions shall have the same meaning regardless of whether they appear in singular or in plural. Definitions For the purposes of these Terms and Conditions: Affiliate means an entity that controls, is controlled by or is under common control with a party, where “control” means ownership of 50% or more of the shares, equity interest or other securities entitled to vote for election of directors or other managing authority.

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