Mindset Development Tips

It’s simple math 🧐 I use to think that motivation was the key to monumental success. Long story short, it’s not. It’s about the little things you do every day that will take you from reasonable to slightly unreasonable to completely unreasonable progress. Your future is not defined by how motivated you are, but by your daily routines and systems. I believe in this so much that we named our company Butterfly 3ffect to reflect the value of incremental gains. we believe that that’s how the best people and brands grow. Here’s how you grow the small way: 1. Start by setting achievable goals, like reading one chapter of a book each day or going for a short walk 2. Practice gratitude by writing down three things you're thankful for every night before bed 3. Engage in daily self-reflection, even if it's just for a few minutes, to assess your thoughts and actions 4. Incorporate small acts of kindness into your daily routine, like holding the door for someone or offering a genuine compliment 5. Learn something new every day, whether it's a fun fact, a new word, or a new skill 6. Prioritise self-care by getting enough sleep, staying hydrated, and taking breaks when needed 7. Surround yourself with positive influences, whether it's uplifting books, supportive friends, or inspiring podcasts 8. Embrace failure as a learning opportunity and a stepping stone to growth 9. Stay consistent and patient, knowing that small progress over time adds up to significant improvement 10. Celebrate your achievements, no matter how small, to stay motivated and encouraged along the way.

🥊 “Jingjin, have you ever considered that women are just inferior to men?” That was her opening line. The lady who challenged me was not a traditionalist in pearls. She was one of the top investment bankers of her time, closed billion-dollar deals, led global teams, the kind of woman whose voice dropped ten degrees when money was on the line. And she meant it. “Back in my day, if I had to hire, I’d always go for the man. No pregnancy leave. No PMS. No emotional volatility. Just less… liability.” And she doesn’t believe in what I do. Helping women lead from a place of wholeness. Because to her, wholeness is a luxury. Winning requires neutrality. And neutrality means: be less female and suck it up! I’ve heard versions of this many times, and too often, from high-performing women who "made it" by suppressing. But facts are: 🧠 There are no consistent brain differences between men and women that explain men’s “logic” or women’s “emotions.” 💥 Hormones impact everyone. Men’s testosterone drops when they nurture. Women’s cortisol rises in toxic workplaces, not because they’re weak, but because they’re sane. 📉 What we call “meritocracy” is often a reward system for those who can perform like they have no body, no children, no cycles. None of those are biologically male traits. They’re artifacts of a system built around male lives. So, if you're a woman who's bought into this logic, here are some counter-strategies: 🛠 1. Study Systems Like You Studied Deals Dissect the incentives, norms, and bias loops of your workplace the same way you’d break down a P&L. Don’t internalize what’s structural. 🧭 2. Redefine Strategic Strengths Stop mirroring alpha aggression to prove you belong. Deep listening, self-regulation, and nuance reading, these are leadership assets, not soft skills. Use them ruthlessly. 💬 3. Name It, Don’t Numb It If your hormones impact you one day a month, say so, but also say what it doesn’t mean: It doesn’t cancel out 29 days of clarity, strategy, and execution. 🪩 4. Build Your Own Meritocracy Start investing in spaces, networks, and cultures where your wholeness isn’t penalized. If none exist, build them. 🧱 5. Deconstruct Before You Self-Doubt When you catch yourself thinking “maybe I’m not built for this,” pause. Ask: Whose rules am I trying to win by? Who benefits when I question myself? This post isn’t about defending women. We don’t need defending. It’s about calling out the internalised metrics we still use to measure ourselves. 👊 And choosing to rewrite them. What’s the most 'rational' reason you’ve heard for why women are a liability?

Lessons I have learnt so far as a woman entrepreneur We all accumulate lessons through career pivots, late nights, setbacks, and honest self-reflection. Here are principles that have shaped my journey, ones I hope every professional, especially women, will keep close in today’s world: 🔹Prioritize Financial Independence. Financial security is not only about independence, but also empowerment and options. It’s important to distinguish real security from mere comfort. True strength is having the ability to walk away when your peace or values demand it. 🔹Value What You’ve Earned. Aspiring for a high standard of living reflects your self-worth and ambition, not superficiality. Never feel apologetic for desiring a life that aligns with your hard work and dedication. 🔹Embrace New Beginnings, As Many Times As Needed. Reinvention is a sign of growth, not failure. Others may have opinions, but your journey should reflect your own aspirations, not limitations set by fear or judgment. 🔹 Care for Yourself to Sustain Others. Consistently supporting those around you requires you to be well, too. Make time for healing and self-care, strength is found in balance, not burnout. 🔹Build a Circle Based on Loyalty and Values. Relationships, whether professional or personal, are about quality, not quantity. Surround yourself with people who encourage growth, offer honest feedback, and value loyalty over simple proximity. 🔹Discipline Over Drama. Sustained success stems from consistent, intentional action—not from chaos or unpredictability. Let reliability and focus be your brand. 🔹Allow Results to Speak for Themselves. There’s no need to constantly prove yourself to skeptics. Exceptional outcomes and a strong work ethic will always reveal your potential. 🔹 Invest in Substance Over Surface. Skills, strategy, and self-respect far outlast short-term recognition. Prioritize development and preparation over mere appearances. 🔹Trust Your Own Timeline. Progress is personal and non-linear. Achievements, relationships, and healing each have their own pace. Blocking out comparison and external noise is essential to staying true to your path. What would you add to this list? I’d love to hear the principles shaping your story. #WomenEntrepreneur #LeadershipLessons #CareerGrowth #GrowthMindset

If your one-on-ones are primarily status updates, you're missing a massive opportunity to build trust, develop talent, and drive real results. After working with countless leadership teams across industries, I've found that the most effective managers approach 1:1s with a fundamentally different mindset... They see these meetings as investments in people, not project tracking sessions. Great 1:1s focus on these three elements: 1. Support: Create space for authentic conversations about challenges, both professional and personal. When people feel safe discussing real obstacles, you can actually help remove them. Questions to try: "What's currently making your job harder than it needs to be?" "Where could you use more support from me?" 2. Growth: Use 1:1s to understand aspirations and build development paths. People who see a future with your team invest more deeply in the present. Questions to explore: "What skills would you like to develop in the next six months?" "What parts of your role energize you most?" 3. Alignment: Help team members connect their daily work to larger purpose and meaning. People work harder when they understand the "why" behind tasks. Questions that create alignment: "How clear is the connection between your work and our team's priorities?" "What part of our mission resonates most with you personally?" By focusing less on immediate work outputs and more on the human doing the work, you'll actually see better performance, retention, and results. Check out my newsletter for more insights here: https://lnkd.in/ei_uQjju #executiverecruiter #eliterecruiter #jobmarket2025 #profoliosai #resume #jobstrategy #leadershipdevelopment #teammanagement

I've delivered 500+ keynotes. Here's a pro-tip for speaking/presenting. Your pre-performance ritual isn't optional. It's essential. The difference between good and transformational always comes down to those final 15 minutes. HERE'S MY NON-NEGOTIABLE RITUAL: T-minus 30 minutes: Tech check complete. No more logistics. T-minus 15 minutes: Complete isolation begins. This is when I start programming my nervous system for peak state. T-minus 10 minutes: Active preparation. I pace backstage, repeating my opening lines until they're cellular: "Change itself has changed..." "When we think about transformation..." "Let me tell you about the moment..." T-minus 5 minutes: Full state activation. No conversations. No distractions. Just presence. Why this matters: Your opening determines everything. If those first 30 seconds land perfectly, you're in flow for the entire presentation. If they don't, you spend 10 minutes trying to find your rhythm. THE SCIENCE: Your prefrontal cortex can hold 7±2 pieces of information. Your opening sequence needs all of that bandwidth. A "quick chat" deletes 3-4 of those slots. Now you're on stage trying to REMEMBER your opening instead of BEING it. FOR SPEAKERS/PRESENTERS: Protect your ritual. Write it into your contract: "15-minute isolation period before stage time required for optimal performance." This isn't being difficult. It's being professional. FOR THOSE HIRING SPEAKERS: Want maximum impact? Give us space to create it. We're not being antisocial. We're preparing to transform your audience. Think of us like athletes before a game or surgeons before surgery. The ritual isn't preference, it's preparation. THE FRAMEWORK: 1. Decide your optimal activation time (10-30 minutes) 2. Communicate boundaries clearly and early 3. Design your ritual for YOUR nervous system 4. Practice until it's automatic 5. Never apologize for protecting your performance Your boundaries aren't limitations. They're the architecture of excellence. What pre-performance ritual would unlock your next level?

As a psychologist, I’ve had the privilege of working with top athletes, actors, and corporate leaders at the peak of their game. And yet—despite the accolades, despite the success—there’s a common thread I see far too often: They believe that the next achievement will finally silence the voice that whispers, “You’re not enough.” But it never does. Why? Because ambition that’s rooted in inadequacy is a bottomless pit. No matter how much you pour in, it never fills. True ambition isn’t about proving your worth. It’s about knowing you already have it. After years of working closely with high performers, I’ve noticed something powerful: The most fulfilled individuals don’t chase worthiness. They operate from it. And they live by three core principles: They chase mastery, not approval: If your goal is to silence self-doubt with success, it will never work. The inner critic doesn't quiet down. It just raises the bar. But when you focus on mastery for its own sake, success stops being a desperate pursuit and starts being a natural result. They practice ruthless self-respect: Not indulgent self-care. Ruthless self-respect. The kind that refuses to let self-criticism run wild. They don't allow themselves to be treated poorly, especially by their own thoughts. They measure progress by their own growth, not by others' success: Comparison is a losing game. There will always be someone ahead, always a new level to chase. But the moment you shift your focus inward—to your evolution and your growth—you take control of the game. Ambition isn't the problem. But when it comes from a place of emptiness, it will consume you. When it comes from a place of inherent worthiness and true desire, it will elevate you. So ask yourself: Is my ambition building me up or breaking me down? That answer will determine whether ambition becomes your greatest strength or an endless trap. #psychology #success #mindset #learning #growth

Some books are so big they become background noise. Mindset by Carol Dweck is one of them. But this book still holds a massive truth about how we learn, grow, and succeed. Dweck explains two mindsets we bring to life’s challenges: Fixed mindset: Your abilities are set. You either have it or you don’t. Failure = proof you’re not good enough. Growth mindset: Your abilities can improve. Effort matters. Failure = chance to get better. I grew up with a fixed mindset. I saw mistakes as indictments. If I didn’t “get it” right away, I figured it wasn’t for me. Reading this book in my 30s changed that. For me, it wasn’t just personal it was parental. I realized I didn’t want my kids to fear failure. I wanted them to see challenge as a signal to lean in. That shift changed how I praise, coach, and learn. The best part? Mindsets aren’t traits. They’re choices. And with awareness, we can train a growth mindset at any age. The takeaway: What you believe about your abilities shapes what you become. So when in doubt, don’t say: “I’m not good at this.” Say: “I’m not good at this yet.”

I was shadowing a coaching client in her leadership meeting when I watched this brilliant woman apologize six times in 30 minutes. 1. “Sorry, this might be off-topic, but..." 2. “I'm could be wrong, but what if we..." 3. “Sorry again, I know we're running short on time..." 4. “I don't want to step on anyone's toes, but..." 5. “This is just my opinion, but..." 6. “Sorry if I'm being too pushy..." Her ideas? They were game-changing. Every single one. Here's what I've learned after decades of coaching women leaders: Women are masterful at reading the room and keeping everyone comfortable. It's a superpower. But when we consistently prioritize others' comfort over our own voice, we rob ourselves, and our teams, of our full contribution. The alternative isn't to become aggressive or dismissive. It's to practice “gracious assertion": • Replace "Sorry to interrupt" with "I'd like to add to that" • Replace "This might be stupid, but..." with "Here's another perspective" • Replace "I hope this makes sense" with "Let me know what questions you have" • Replace "I don't want to step on toes" with "I have a different approach" • Replace "This is just my opinion" with "Based on my experience" • Replace "Sorry if I'm being pushy" with "I feel strongly about this because" But how do you know if you're hitting the right note? Ask yourself these three questions: • Am I stating my needs clearly while respecting others' perspectives? (Assertive) • Am I dismissing others' input or bulldozing through objections? (Aggressive) • Am I hinting at what I want instead of directly asking for it? (Passive-aggressive) You can be considerate AND confident. You can make space for others AND take up space yourself. Your comfort matters too. Your voice matters too. Your ideas matter too. And most importantly, YOU matter. @she.shines.inc #Womenleaders #Confidence #selfadvocacy

I start every day by reading a sticky note on my laptop: "Slow down to go far." In Q1, I needed that reminder more than ever! Things are moving incredibly fast – in our industry and at HubSpot. So in Q2, how can you execute with urgency without losing sight of the bigger picture? First, a confession: slowing down doesn’t come naturally to me. (That’s why I have needed a daily reminder for years 🙂) When I first moved from individual contributor to manager, the feedback from my team was clear: I was moving too fast. They felt like they were always playing catch-up and didn't have the context they needed. I’m still working on this years later (just ask my team – they’ll tell you my favorite phrase is "let’s go faster!"). But here are some things that have worked for me: 1. Prioritize conversations with customers and partners: Every Wednesday, I block my calendar, cut back on internal meetings, and snooze notifications to focus on conversations with customers and partners. When you’re moving fast, it’s easy to lose touch with what matters most – your customers. Protect regular time every week to reconnect directly with them. It helps you stay grounded in your mission and keeps the bigger picture clear. 2. Create space for constructive dialogue with your team: Don’t let every team meeting become a status update. Set aside dedicated time to discuss bigger topics like product strategy, go-to-market plans, and pricing decisions. Your team needs space to debate and align on the big issues. 3. Ask more questions: When something is on fire, it’s natural to jump straight into solutions or quick decisions. But I’ve learned the power of pausing. Remember to ask clarifying questions first: “What assumptions are we making?” “Who hasn’t weighed in yet?” “Is there context we’re missing?” You’ll get better alignment and save time in the long run. Slowing down isn’t natural for many leaders. You’re wired to move quickly, solve problems, and set the pace for your team. But during times of huge change, the most effective leaders I know don’t just execute with intensity, they bring people along. The best way to go far is to be intentional about slowing down – sticky notes optional 😉

In 2008, Michael Phelps won Olympic GOLD - completely blind. The moment he dove in, his goggles filled with water. But he kept swimming. Most swimmers would’ve fallen apart. Phelps didn’t - because he had trained for chaos, hundreds of times. His coach, Bob Bowman, would break his goggles, remove clocks, exhaust him deliberately. Why? Because when you train under stress, performance becomes instinct. Psychologists call this stress inoculation. When you expose yourself to small, manageable stress: - Your amygdala (fear centre) becomes less reactive. - Your prefrontal cortex (logic centre) stays calmer under pressure. Phelps had rehearsed swimming blind so often that it felt normal. He knew the stroke count. He hit the wall without seeing it. And won GOLD by 0.01 seconds. The same science is why: - Navy SEALs tie their hands and practice underwater survival. - Astronauts simulate system failures in zero gravity. - Emergency responders train inside burning buildings. And you can build it too. Here’s how: ✅ Expose yourself to small discomforts. Take cold showers. Wake up 30 minutes earlier. Speak up in meetings. The goal is to build confidence that you can handle hard things. ✅ Use quick stress resets. Try cyclic sighing: Inhale deeply through your nose. Take a second small inhale. Exhale slowly through your mouth. Repeat 3-5 times to calm your system fast. ✅ Strengthen emotional endurance. Instead of avoiding difficult conversations, hard tasks, or feedback - lean into them. Facing small emotional challenges trains you for bigger ones later. ✅ Celebrate small victories. Every time you stay calm, adapt, or keep going under pressure - recognise it. These tiny wins are building your mental "muscle memory" for resilience. As a new parent, I know my son Krish will face his own "goggles-filled-with-water" moments someday. So the best I can do is model resilience myself. Because resilience isn’t gifted - it’s trained. And when you train your brain for chaos, you can survive anything. So I hope you do the same. If this made you pause, feel free to repost and share the thought. #healthandwellness #mentalhealth #stress