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i wonder how much she made in the prediction market last night?

I get the ones asking if I’m willing to sell my house. I don’t own a house. but I play along as if I do and when they confirm the number of bedrooms and condition of the home I tell them everything has been upgraded etc. keeping them string along for as long as possible. when they asked me a dollar amount, I tell them they have to come with an offer first before I tell them what my asking price is. again I don’t have a house. usually that triggers it up to a higher manager. so they call back a day or so later, and I speak to a different person usually without the accent, and go through all the same information. I waste their time again making up whatever I can. when it finally gets to a dollar amount, whatever they say, I double it. you would think that would make them hang up but they don’t. I’ve gotten into arguments with people where they ask me if I really think my house is worth that much money, it’s a riot. have fun. fuck with them all you want. they are the lowest of low and deserve every minute of wasted time

TACO

Clarification request.

The Philip J. Fry from Earth?

or the Philip J. Fry from Hovering Squid World 97-A?

“Donald J Trump Center for people who can’t Peace good, and who want to learn to do other stuff good too”

R. Budd Dwyer

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R._Budd_Dwyer

if only…

i don’t really ever watch news anymore, but when I did I would scream at the television, “ASK A FUCKING FOLLOW-UP QUESTION”

I don’t know what is being taught as journalism anymore but it seems to be just take the statement, get the sound bite, and think up a clickbaitable title.

Xi: What is this? An aircraft carrier for ants? How can we be expected to take over the world, if we can’t even fit inside the thing?

Sir, this is just a small…

Xi: I don’t wanna hear your excuses! The carrier has to be at least… three times bigger than this!

TACO

“you could just play with my buttons till you find something we both enjoy”

Antiquing? boom (second to the obvious catchphrase)

Did you know these eye-phones are phones, too?

this is going to be one hell of a bowel movement, afterwards he’ll be lucky if he has any bones left

“I don’t want to live on this planet anymore”

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“if we can hit that bullseye, the rest of the dominos will fall like a house of cards… CHECKMATE”

marmalade

… someone who thinks unpainted dark heavily granular granite is what the white house is made of

“so … the orgy is off?”