My two acceptable hypotheses:

• We are in a simulation and these are remnants from server migration/discrepancies in the instances.
• These are dry runs of the man seeing what history they can get away with rewriting and convince us was true.

No. I cannot create false memories. Nope. I can’t do it. I won’t listen to you. It’s not true! Nonononononononooooooooooooooooooooo! This isn’t my fault! 👉😫👈 lalalalalala

[email protected]

“Sorry, + are not allowed in email addresses.”

Fine, 🙄 you get one of the garbled addresses from my vpn service, which is even less useful to your scrapers.

People really hate Mambo #5, so the little brother in me loves to bother people with it in Fortnite.

As for my own least favorite song/a song that I hate? Right now I really hate APT by Rose and Bruno Mars. I don’t know why, I think the lyrics are just banal, and the music video does everything I hate; namely I hate motion graphics where it’s just the heads of people, I hate the sped up film process, and I hate the Breakfast Club reference. No idea why it peeves me so, it’s not like other new songs have the deepest lyrics or better videos, but that one does.

I shouldn’t be, but my dad raised me on things from his childhood, so I’m only familiar with stuff from the 40s and 50s by proxy.

It was a commercial written (and voiced over) by a comedian and radio host named Stan Freberg; he hated advertisements and constantly lampooned them on his show, and carried that attitude into the ads he made.

…he didn’t make them for long.

Better to play everything than get played by everything.

Yeah, I know the name of the Escape Room; it doesn’t make it suck any less.

🙋‍♂️ hi, peter falk.

guess i’ll die 🤷

That fucking face. Somebody shit this taco out of their butthole already.

My spouse and I still use “the day got away from me” as an excuse for forgetting the stupidest fucking things ever. Like him and his bear carcass or whatever it was he left in Central Park.

This fucking moron should’ve been laughed out of society along with the others, but instead here we are; wearing jeans in saunas.

(i mean yes that is the correct answer, but where’s the fun in that?)

My experience with Craiglist-type ads has me asking questions about my safety by default and if it’s something I can walk away from without any sort of fallout.

Hello my name is Doug, I’m 40+ years old and I’m a fucking idiot.

I mean I guess part of me knew, I have been to Subway and watched them slice the fucking bread. But when I see baguettes at the store I think “hm, just like Olive Garden, I can make tiny baguette slices!” I don’t think “yeah time to make some killer sandwiches.”

…I’m going to blame my autism for this one. It probably isn’t true, but I’m gonna blame it anyway.

👏

Deprogramming cultists is a lot of work, and things are stressful enough as it is for the non-cultists. I don’t know what the best approach is for them, but I can only hope when/if everyone cuts them off, they do some internalizing.

…I know they won’t, but I can dream.

I’m very fortunate in that I don’t have a single friend or family member who voted for Trump.

The closest I have in my proximity is one maybe two coworkers, but they are not loud about it and stay very quiet on all things political because they get dogpiled on for any talking points they bring up.

But yeah if I did know any friends or family, I’d absolutely cut them out.

Sorry, but according to the world of Pinocchio, smoking alone gets you sent to the island of donkeys wherein you then become a donkey. Not a real boy ‘till you give up the cigars.

Hee haw!

wowwwwwwww

…if I ever friend broke up with someone like that, I would be very tempted to burn that bridge and tell the wife.

Well they’re not just gonna discard the extra tube.

You want a genital tube, you’re gonna have to be happy with a butthole tube, or just one really long genital tube.

Yeah I’m trying to think how you would “fix” this. Maybe put a faux-building around the tubes so you’re sliding down a toppling skyscraper?