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Joined 2 years ago
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Cake day: December 14th, 2023

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  • Don’t lie. You owe them the truth and it’s a learning opportunity for them to grow emotionally before having to deal with a human death. Emotional Intelligence is just as important as being able to read.

    Analogies can help but don’t hide behind them. Greive together. Have a gesture, no matter how simple that encourages closure. Perhaps go through photos of the pet with them and ask which should be framed or printed or put on the fridge or something like that.

    Talk to them about the emotions you are having, how those emotions feel and allow them to also have emotions, especially in the coming weeks when they miss them. But you don’t have to lie about what you are feeling or make a huge deal about. Don’t rush to fill the void too quickly. Comfort, yes, perhaps a new pet in due time. But not immediately as that cheapens the connection from being with an individual to being a role.

    It sounds cruel for me to say I hope your kid has to endure many human deaths in their life but the alternative is either for them to have far too short of a life or for then to become unattached.

    And I hope they will also be there for their friends when their friends have to deal with a loss. Kids model behaviour more then they do as they are taught, so it’s an opportunity to model that kind of behavior and emotional support.


  • I was homeschooled 2nd grade thru high school. Best thing to ever happen to me. I would not have been diagnosed with ADHD at the time because I suffered from hyperfocus, not hyperactivity. I would do one subject a day instead of constantly switching. Hundreds of field trips to historical sites, museums, science centers you name it, but I also had a lot of socializion with other homeschoolers through co-ops, meet ups, honor society as well as with other peers through scouts and community sports. I don’t think of myself as being socially awkward at all and in fact in scouts I was unanimously voted in as chapter chief, then in community college was so popular won their equivalent to homecoming king. In college and uni I was the guy people came to to help them understand concepts if they didn’t get the way the professor taught it. What I do notice as a difference from folks who were public schooled is that my personal bubble is larger and I didn’t go stir crazy working from home during the pandemic. And I don’t touch other people without their consent. It kinda weirds me out internally when people randomly touch my elbow or pat me on my back, especially when I’m focused and working but I’m working on accepting it. That no touch without consent has really helped me connect with folks with ASD and led to some great connections with people who never thought they could.